


Battle for the Bride

by CandyassGoth



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Hellboy (Movies), Hellboy 2, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, And humiliation, Aphrodisiacs, Arranged Marriage, Arrogant Thor, Battle for the Bride, Breed sex, Dark Thor, Dubious Consent, Forced Marriage, Game of Thrones References, Gang Rape, Jötunheimr | Jotunheim, Jötunn Loki, Laufey's A+ Parenting, Loki Angst, Loki hates everyone, Loki is Not Amused, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mpreg scare, Nuada is a gentleman, Odin's A+ Parenting, Political Marriage, Rape/Non-con Elements, SilverPrinces, lots of Loki Angst, Álfheimr | Alfheim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-10 12:11:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 242,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyassGoth/pseuds/CandyassGoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wars between Asgard and Jötunheimr end before the births of Loki and Thor. A tense but calm truce reigned and the realms kept to themselves, ending the bloodshed but still holding silent animosity.</p><p>Then Odin hears word that Álfheimr has appealed for a union with Jötunheimr through Loki. He fears being ganged up on, and forces Asgard into the loop, making life difficult for Loki, Thor, and the elven prince Nuada. </p><p>The two princes must compete and earn Loki's hand in marriage with a twist neither of them are happy with, least of all Loki, who can't find it in him to accept the developments his father forces upon him. Slash, terrible fathers, angst, smut, and feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three is a Party

**Author's Note:**

> Points to remember/background
> 
> -The wars between Asgard and Jötunheimr ended before the births of Loki and Thor. A tense but calm truce reigned and the realms kept to themselves, ending the bloodshed but still holding silent animosity.
> 
> -Thus Odin never found Loki. Loki grew up a prince of Jötunheimr, one of Laufey's youngest children. Jötunheimr holds the casket.
> 
> -Loki is a Frostfemme. As the tital indicates, one of feminine qualities, or ergi. 
> 
> -Odin hears word Álfheimr has appealed for a union with Jötunheimr through Loki. He fears being ganged up on, and forces Asgard into the loop.
> 
> Nuada is a wonderful character from Hellboy 2. I fitted him in and around Álfheimr, the light elf realm. He is handsome and honourable and nothing short of regal. He deserves more love. And porn.
> 
>  **HELLO** yes look here. _Please_ check the tags for issues I'll be throwing in, many will be  trigger inducing. Also, _please_ acknowledge this is a very young JOTUN born Loki from my head, so if how I depict him isn't up to your standards/expectations please don't tell me he would be better another way. He is how he is because it's just how the story is. The eagles didn't fly Frodo and Sam to Mordor because it's just how the story is. Please and thank you dears.
> 
> Also, let me stress....this is not a light fic. It's quite dark. Beware when reading. I do NOT condone rape, or sexism, or abuse of any kind. This is a work of pure ridiculous fiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 1: Three is a Party**

“My decision is final, Gutnar.” Laufey, King of Jötunheimr, said in an intolerant tone, and nodded to his guards to remove the last Jotun brought in for judgement. The guilty Jotun made sure to give him and his sons a scathing glare before he was handled out of the throne room. Laufey sighed. 

It was a tedious job handling petty crimes of the masses, but those dabbling in higher crimes like land theft and conspiracy had to be dealt with directly and sooner than later. Laufey was tired of it, there was always someone unhappy. If it wasn't another realm causing him stress, it was the civil war that simmered across their own land. No one was ever truly happy.

He looked to his right where his eldest son Thrym sat, waiting for an intelligent question to be asked about the sentence he served, but sadly expecting it from his left where one of his youngest sat, Loki. But the guards who escorted out Gutnar had returned in a rush.

“Your highness, visitors approach from the Bifrost.”

Laufey sat up straight and resisted the urge to sigh irritably. “Who is it?” He prayed it wasn't the Asgardians, he didn't have the patience to resist unleashing a herd of Jötunheimr Beasts straight into Asgard.

His sons on either side of him sat up straighter too. Loki had been reading a book, present only because of the recent attempts made on his freedom by rebels so Laufey needed to keep a close eye on him. Thrym was the eldest and to inherit the throne, which Laufey was _trying_ to teach him how to manage, to which Loki was a natural at. Of course, the universe always worked like that...

As if reading his mind, the guard spoke cautiously. “We don't think it's Asgard, my King.”

Laufey frowned, and waved a hand towards the entrance. “Meet them with a group of guards. Be civil, provided they are. Escort them straight here.”

The guards bowed and left, signalling a few others who had been standing by to follow. As soon as the door closed Thrym leaned over.

“Father, who do you think it is?”

“Unless they have come to declare war I really couldn't care.” Laufey said, and slumped back.

“Maybe Asgard has come to offer a maiden.” Thrym said, excitedly, and Loki leaned over to pull at face at him, sharply slapping his book shut for emphasis.

“Ew.”

Thrym snorted. “What ew? Have you _seen_ them? They're as pretty as you.”

Loki looked at his father as if for back up before shooting back his twisted expression at Thrym, who had the weirdest fetish for lusting after _females_. “Have you heard what they have between their legs? They say-”

Laufey slammed his fist down on the armrest of his throne with an angry grunt and both princes flinched into silence. “Enough! Whoever it is will have maidens in their homes. Let's not be discussing in front of them what their mates and mothers hold between their legs.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at the smirk Thrym gave him. “It's odd.” he insisted.

“Speak for yourself.”

“Shut up.” Laufey hissed just as the door opened, and thankfully they did. 

Though Laufey hadn't known who to expect, it certainly hadn't been the light elves from Álfheimr. He sat straighter with a troubled expression but mainly because these were a people Jötunheimr had little connection to. Even the escorting guards looked surprised, and Thrym sat a little more regally. 

Walking up to the throne were six elves. One was definitely the king, King Balor, and besides him at his stead was what looked like a personal servant, for the rest were clearly guards for protection. 

King Balor was a very old man, drawn and chalky with age, but he bowed slightly nevertheless when they stopped. Loki thought he might fall over altogether where it not for his servant holding onto his arm. “King Laufey of Jötunheimr.”

Laufey stood immediately, and a second later Loki and Thrym scrambled to do the same. This was their first time meeting a foreign king, especially one so foreign.

“King Balor of Álfheimr, to what do I owe this surprise?” He'd really like to know, and by the gods let it be benevolent.

“I desire to discuss with you a serious matter, if you can spare your presence.” Balor said, folding his bony hands. He didn't look threatening, but a serious matter still meant stress and time, two things that had been working against Laufey lately.

“Very well.” Laufey held his most passive face and looked at the guards. “Move back whatever is next on my schedule.” He then looked at Thrym and Loki. “You two stay here, or go resume training. Thrym,” he added, and gestured as inconspicuously as possible to Loki to remind him to keep an eye out. An argument would have broken out if there weren't foreign delegates in the room, and for once Laufey was grateful for the outer worldly intrusion. “Please follow me your highness, and company.”

Laufey stepped down from the ice throne and with a few guards led away the elves towards a private office. Still standing on the throne and trying to look every bit as royal as he should, Loki watched the elves carefully, but he was watched right back, and a little closer than Thrym, but maybe he imagined that.

In Laufey's office the guards draped animal furs over the two ice chairs for the foreign visitors. The Elf guards insisted on standing, and the servant helped King Balor into a seat once they were decent for non-Jotun folk to sit in. Laufey took his own seat, and gestured for his guard to wait outside seeing as it was getting cramped. They glanced wearily at the elves and left, remaining just outside should they be needed.

When all were settled, Laufey cleared his throat and gave Balor his attention with a gesture of his hand. “A serious matter you say? Should I be wary, King Balor?”

The elder man shook his head stiffly with a dismissive wave of his hand. He was adorned in much royal items of Álfheimr, having dressed up for the occasion as first impressions count. “No, of course not. I come with a fruitful proposition, Laufey.”

“I am listening.” Laufey grunted softly, and wondered the authenticity of the _fruitful proposition_. He was no youngling. 

“I am sure you know by now that Álfheimr is not in the best state it has ever been. I weaken everyday and in connection so does my land. An Elf's land depends on the health of its king, and my time to rest is drawing near. My land will manage through my departure but I wish to see it prosper again when my son takes the throne. I have no doubt he will hold the entire land on his shoulders but he will need help to built it up once more. I have come to ask for a join of our lands, King Laufey.”

“A join? On what grounds?” Laufey asked. He wasn't fast enough to keep from sounding incredulous. 

“Marriage, of course.”

Laufey blinked, then blinked again, and Thrym and his lusting for a female slithered into the front of his mind. If Thrym had anything to do with this coincidence...“...Go on.” he said, carefully.

“My son is my most perfect creation. He is beloved by all realms and people. He is a just man and a fine gentleman, and unbeaten in battle. He will make a finer king than even I. He just needs a queen.”

Laufey looked more confused than before. “A queen?”

“It is common knowledge that there are no females in your kind, Laufey, if I may be so bold...But the role of a queen is to produce heirs for the king. It is also common knowledge that all Jotun can conceive young, some more than others... The little one that sat to your left, he is what is referred to as a Frostfemme, is he not?”

Laufey's eyes narrowed. “...Sharp eyes for one so aged.”

“He is hard to miss, one so slight among the regular Jotun.”

“...Loki is my only son with that gift.” Laufey confirmed, and Balor spread open his hands before he could say more.

“Then is it not fitting he marry a prince and become a queen? Any title less is not deserving of such rarity.”

Yes, Frostfemme were rare and valued for their beauty and fertility, but this meant they were revered and given only to the mightiest and worthiest Jotuns as mates. To give one _(Laufey's one)_ to a foreign man was not to be taken likely. “...And this will ensure unity of our people? You are not known for being overly accommodating to foreign realms, King Balor.”

The old king looked sheepish. “I was content with the prosperity of my people as they were. But my son has always suggested we branch out, and he is wise in his thinking. The worlds are moving forward, no one should be left behind. I wish to help him in this before I pass. A last gift from a father to son, a last gift from a king to his people.”

As fancy as it sounded, it just sounded off. Jötunheimr was never involved in inter realm marital affairs. Yes there were many half breeds, many times had Jotuns mated with other realms, but rarely marriage. And specifically, _royal marriage_. “Why us? Why not Vanaheimr or Asgard? Or even Svartálfaheimr?”

“Odin and I do not quite get along... Vanaheimr has no princess to offer and even Midgard is unavailable, they have forgotten the realms and embraced outer worldly knowledge of metal and machines. Svartálfaheimr is still an enemy to Álfheimr so my first choice was you, Laufey. I believe we could help one another. We have magic and a vast number of assets your people could benefit from, and ours with the power of the casket and your unique strengths. We are not an aggressive people, like yours,” Balor paused, but kept a calm face as Laufey raised a brow. “but we are not weak either. I do not wish to leech off your land, but form an equal alliance.”

“And this has nothing to do with a secret plan to topple Odin? As much as I despise him I'd rather be a stiff ally than risk my people in another war, especially for another realm's quarrel.”

“This is purely offered with good intentions, King Laufey. My son is most willing to merge.”

“Does your son know he will get no princess from us? And it is unlikely he will produce one should he marry one of us? His direct descendants will most likely be all male, perhaps further down the line through breeding with your own kind females will be available. We have strong blood.”

Balor didn't look put off, though Laufey saw hints of what might have been uncertainty flash across the guards' faces. “We are aware of that, King Laufey. Nuada understands your kind well.”

“Does he now... I will have to think on this. I have already picked out possible mates for Loki from my own realm. But I suppose an inter realm marriage would be more fruitful.”

Ignoring the tone, Balor smiled curiously in a manner that gave no excuse for hostility to occur. “Your son, Loki, he is in good health? At minimum age to bear? Pure?”

“Would his worth to you decrease if he weren't?” Laufey asked with a slight bite.

“Well, not entirely, but those are the usual requirement when we choose a queen.” Balor said, and Laufey grumbled silently in agreement.

“Indeed... Loki is almost a century into bearing age and he is in peak condition. He is extremely smart and well equipped in battle. And he is pure, and shall remain so until I find a suitable mate for him. Your son will have to prove himself if we choose to accept.”

“He is already training.” Balor said confidently.

Laufey watched him closely, and allowed his thoughts to wander. “...Good.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Hovering along the corridors where Laufey was sure to enter, Loki and Thrym waited impatiently. Thrym babbled on about possible reasons for the visit, coming close but far from the truth. When Laufey finally did appear they pushed off the wall and hurried to follow his pointed strides meant to avoid them.

“Father! What did they want?” Thrym got to him first with his longer legs, Loki a few steps behind.

“Peace.” Laufey grunted, scowling as they circled him like vultures. His mind was too heavy to be dealing with their nonsense at the moment.

Loki scowled back at the useless answer. “Peace? Aren’t we already at peace?”

“United peace, then.” Laufey said, with a sigh.

Thrym pulled his lips in thought. “United? As in allies?”

“Yes.”

“Will we agree? I thought you were after Asgard?”

Laufey stepped up his pace, but only Loki struggled to keep up being a lot shorter. “I am but Odin isn’t less of a bastard now than he was then. I must think on this. Go away, you two.” With that he gave them no room to argue and stalked away.

The brothers stopped and looked at one another. Thrym looked optimistic. “I think he should accept.”

Loki mulled it over with a light frown. “I suppose. More work for you though when you become king, managing two realms.”

“I will accept the duties of being king. And the rewards.” Thrym grinned, and Loki could imagine where his thoughts were.

“Of course.” he drawled sarcastically.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Prince Nuada of Álfheimr almost missed his father's return. Waiting in his chambers drove him insane with thoughts of his father's well-being on Jötunheimr and what King Laufey’s thoughts were on the matter. Eventually he hurried out and tried to distract himself in some battle training seeing as he couldn't sit still enough to tinker with his gadgets or read a book.

He would have missed his father's return were it not for the maidens chirping excitedly down the hall with the guards who accompanied his father. Everyone was excited about the developments. 

He entered into his father's chambers just as Balor dismissed the servant, and he rushed to help the elder into a seat. “Father, please sit.”

Sensing his son's anxiety and distress Balor smiled and patted him comfortingly on the arm as he sat down, wincing at the creak in his ancient bones. “All went well Nuada, drop your shoulders my son.”

Nuada looked up, hesitant hope lighting up his handsome features. “He agreed?” he breathed, kneeling at his father's side.

“He said he will think on it. But I believe he will accept or he would have declined me instantly.” 

“Perhaps I should approach him myself?” Nuada suggested, but Balor shook his head sternly.

“No, it is our custom that I appeal for you. When he confirms his answer then you will accompany me and speak with him.”

Nuada took his father's brittle hands into his own and squeezed them gently. “I will not fail, Father.”

Balor smiled. His son was nothing short of magnificent, and he only wished the best for him. He rubbed his thumbs over Nuada's much younger hands and a twinkle appeared in his milky eyes. “I saw your intended, he possesses great beauty, especially for a Jotun.”

Nuada shifted, but he was nothing but curious. “Is he what they say?” he asked, and thought along all the tales and explanations he'd heard of Jötunheimr's precious Frostfemme.

“Yes, he is. You shouldn’t have a problem settling with him as your wife. I hear he isn’t just a pretty face either, a learned and a skilled warrior he is. The other realms will be envious of you.” Balor said, and affectionately touched Nuada's face. Nuada leaned into it, then grasped his hand and pressed his forehead to it.

“Let us hope not, we do not need that drama. Did he have anything to say?”

“No, Laufey did not include him in our talk. I believe Loki will find out when we do-” Balor stopped short and began to cough violently. Nuada grimaced and quickly rose up. He patted Balor's back, but there was little he could do that the healers weren't doing already.

“Father, rest now, travelling is taxing.”

Balor coughed a little softer until it stopped, and he shook his head determinedly. “I will not rest until you and Nuala are secure.”

Nuada eyed the tea, and settled his father back before going to pour him a cup. “We will be, Father. Do not exert yourself further for today, please.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

It was a bright and sunny day on Asgard. All was well in the land and there was very little to complain about, and those that did complain were ignored anyway. But in the royal chambers trouble brewed, and the queen herself felt done.

“Is it really that bad, Odin? Surely King Balor is too old to be concocting tricks?”

“Yes, but why not come to us first? Or even Vanaheimr? Why _Jötunheimr_?” Odin exclaimed, pacing around the room. Frigga sat on a chair and sighed dramatically and rested her forehead on her fingers. When Odin got a bee in his bonnet there was no rest for anyone, least of all Frigga who was first to hear of the trouble. Well, she didn't consider it to be trouble, just news. But Odin had always had an offensive nature.

“I know it smells fishy but you and Balor get along barely as well as you and Laufey do. Álfheimr needs a queen for the prince, Odin, not a princess to give away.” Just barely an hour ago news spread across the realms that Álfheimr approached Jötunheimr with talks of a marital union. There was excitement and wonder and laughter, but Odin was worried.

“I suppose…” he mumbled.

Frigga watched him pace, eyeing his every step. “…You don’t trust that at all do you?”

Odin's already drawn face puckered further. “They must be up to something.”

Frigga rolled her eyes. “Norns have mercy.”

“Frigga, if they unite kingdoms it could mean destruction for Asgard!” Odin said, exasperated.

“Odin, the light elves are peaceful if not provoked! Any feuds we have with them are purely masculine animosity between you and Balor, and even that ebbed away a _long_ time ago.” she said, but Odin didn't hear the mocking implication and continued on, almost in a frenzy.

“And the Jotuns? Laufey? You do not think he will persuade Balor into loggerheads with us? And what of their sons? Laufey has a court full of sons and Balor’s son is said to be a revered being in the realms, tell me they will not itch to ban together against us? Asgard has always been highest in the realms and a source of jealously.”

“Then what is it _you_ are itching to do? Go start war?” she asked, sounding much more like a mother than a wife.

Odin stopped and looked at her, frowning lightly on her words. “No, of course not. But I fear for our future if this comes to pass… I have to stop it.” he said with finality.

“Odin, you can’t just go between them and stop it. Balor is only asking for a match for his son, not an army. The other realms will not allow you to simply 'stop it'. Álfheimr has always been clean and prosperous, I can’t imagine war from them without a heavy cause from us.”

“Then you are ignorant to the dark thoughts of a man.”

Frigga stared at Odin, the emotion draining from her face. She pursed her lips and stood, then turned to leave. “Yes, perhaps I am.” 

Immediately Odin snapped from his thoughts and reached out to stop her. She resisted as a warning, and he took her hands gently. “Frigga, wait. I am sorry, but I do not wish to leave Thor to rule in a land of chaos and have enemies bearing down on him and our people. I do not trust Laufey, but if he and Balor unite I truly fear. I am not the rash man I once was, please believe me. But I can feel this is bad.”

What could she do but agree? She would not support him causing war, though she doubted he was stupid enough to do so, but she had to influence his decisions rather than remain silent. A man was only as good as his wife, after all. “…Okay. Then what do we do? Balor is appealing for a suitor for his son, not for his daughter. We don’t have any daughters to offer.”

“No, we don’t…but Laufey does.” Odin said, and Frigga watched his kingly face make an appearance. She squinted.

“…Are you suggesting we try for Laufey’s son for Thor?”

“Laufey has only one son being ergi, and that is who Balor has his eye on. Perhaps we can make a challenge, best land wins the son’s hand.”

It was almost funny how desperate Odin sounded. Frigga knew what a Frostfemme was, but it was still a boy, no matter the feminine qualities he possessed. She smiled, trying not to laugh straight at him, and cupped his grey chin. “My love, Odin dear, Thor’s known nothing but women his entire manhood. Laufey’s boy may be considered a dame in Jötunheimr but he is still a man in our eyes. Thor is a big charmer but I don’t think he goes that far.”

“And Balor’s son? Tell me he isn’t in the same predicament? A king must make sacrifices. Thor may have lovers if he desires, and lay only with the boy for heirs. Thor is not a man of love when it comes to his maidens, it shouldn’t be hard to treat the boy the same.”

It was clear Odin was speaking as a king, not as a father. His words were cold, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself of them as much as Frigga. Yes, a king must make sacrifices, but Odin tended to over estimate Thor in his arrogant pride. And what of the Laufeyson, dooming him into a stiff marriage with Thor would make him miserable.

“Could you do it?” she asked softly, to which Odin had no answer. She sighed. “I fear you will be asking too much of Thor.”

Odin waved a dismissive hand and looked away, putting out of his mind the exact same worry. “He must learn sacrifice at some point. Laufey appealed for this exact match when they were children, but I was still too proud in those years. Perhaps I should have thought about it further. We are no longer at war but Thor and Laufey’s Loki could have been married by now, but I was too stubborn. Perhaps Laufey is wiser than I choose to admit.”

The mention of Laufey's offer all those years ago made Frigga scowl. She folded her arms and looked towards the Bifrost out the window as if she could see straight to Jötunheimr. “Odin, Laufey showcased his son, a _child_ , like a prize mare and demanded he be betrothed to Thor. You cannot demand peace, we turned him down for a reason. Whether or not Laufey hands that poor boy to Balor or not is none of our business. …But I’ll stand by you. And you can have the honour of explaining it to Thor.” With that she left, and made a wide arc around him to the door with her nose up, leaving Odin to sigh and seek out his son for a long sit-down.


	2. Odin always has a reason, but it doesn’t have to be the right one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin drags Thor to Asgard, Loki finds out why they suddenly have foreign attention and we see a few opinions on the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Goodness the support for this fic so far sent me into ecstasy. Thank you so much to all, here is the second chapter!

**Chapter 2: Odin always has a reason, but it doesn’t have to be the right one**

It was barely two days later when the Bifrost lit up again and the guards ran into the throne room, alarming Laufey and the few court members that were present. 

“My King! The Asgard approach.”

Laufey almost jumped, and scowled at them as if doing so would change their words. “What?! Are they armed? How many?”

“Yes my king. Just a small group, they are armed, but not attacking.”

Everyone passed looks at each other—it wasn’t often Asgard visited. Loki shifted in his too-large chair, watching his father’s face carefully. On Laufey’s right Thrym frowned and seemed to be thinking seriously. “What do they want?” he asked rhetorically. 

It had been a good while since any Asgardians had been on Jötunheimr and it had been a fairly _peaceful_ while, one that Laufey grit his teeth at the thought of disrupting because of some hairy yellow trolls. 

“Who is in the group?” One of Laufey’s brothers, a member of the court, asked grimly.

“Odin himself. And his son, Thor, and a few guards.”

The searching eyes moved a lot faster at the news and Loki almost got up to go see for himself. Laufey narrowed his eyes and shifted uncomfortably, debating whether to rise or stay seated. “Odin wouldn’t risk himself in battle at his age…Bring them in. But have the warriors and Thor leave their weapons in the foyer, and tell them the king demands so.”

The guards bowed. “Yes, my king.” 

Watching the guards hurry off, Loki made a noise to Laufey’s left, masking his surprise with amusement. “You’re popular.”

Laufey pressed his lips together and kept his eyes forward lest his own mask fall. “Both of you will not speak a word.”

“But-” Thrym began.

“Shush. Be silent. It is no coincidence Odin approaching right after Balor, they are up to something.”

“You didn't tell us why-” The reopening of the hall's doors cut off Thrym, and this time Odin stepped in, regal and bright, followed by his large entourage of men. The three royal Jotuns sat up regally, the guards stood straighter and the court members hovered silently behind the three throne chairs. Thrym held back an excited grin, knowing just how little patience the kings had for each other. He wasn’t blood thirsty in particular, but drama between his father and Odin had always seemed exciting. Loki on the other hand, stared silently at the Aesir giants, though Odin was certainly no longer as big and sturdy as he once was.

Odin looked calm as he marched forward, Gungnir in his right hand, and stopped in front of Laufey's throne with a slight _clang_ of Gungnir on the icy floor. When the sound settled, though the same couldn’t be said for everyone’s nerves, he spoke. 

“King Laufey, it has been a long time.” Besides him was the mighty Thor, towering his father now by far and most of the guard. Thrym and Loki couldn't help their open staring at the man—he had grown large and looked as intimidating as the realms spoke, comprised mostly of muscle and yellow hair. The last time Loki had seen Thor they had been little children, many years ago, knowing nothing of prejudice or hate, asking only why one was pink and one was blue, and if they would mix colours if they played together. 

Loki told himself not to stare, but Thor didn't look at him at all, he was staring straight at Laufey as if no one else existed. If he did look his way Loki might have felt the urge to look away, but this left his eyes to wander over the yellow expanse that was Thor. He wondered how in Helheim Odin's wife birthed him. 

Laufey resisted sneering at the gathering and their elderly leader. “Indeed, Allfather, a long time of _peace_. What do you want?” he snapped.

“I come with peace Laufey. I am not here to fight.” Odin promised, setting all the Jotun on edge.

Laufey scoffed, and shifted in his seat to throw his left leg over the other and lean on his right elbow. “I find that hard to believe.”

Odin gestured back to his men that looked hesitant, but brave. “My men left their weapons as you asked, even Mjölnir, surely that is trustworthy enough?”

“As much as I’d love to watch you do tricks as an animal should,” Laufey watched shrewdly as Thor and the guard bristled besides Odin, “I am not bought. What do you want, Allfather?” he asked again.

Odin sighed, ignoring his uneasy company, and raised his head with a purpose. “To negotiate for your son’s hand for Thor in marriage against Álfheimr's prince.”

Getting Thor here was no easy job, and coming from Odin, that was saying something. Frigga’s opinion on the matter planted a seed of doubt in his mind and by the time he sat Thor down, it showed upon his face and he lost his authority in that moment. Thor had been convinced it was a joke. 

_“We must talk, son.” Odin said, shifting in his seat—darn Frigga! Why couldn’t she just have agreed instead of making him doubt._

_“Aye Father, what of?” Thor smiled, matted in sweat and dirt. Odin had pulled him straight out of training with Hogun and Fandral, but it must have been important, and Thor was_ trying _to learn the meaning of being a king. This in essence, to him, seemed to mean ‘be prepared for continuous interruptions to your day’._

_“I see you still don’t intimidate Hogun,” Odin side-stepped, smiling a small smile. Thor smiled wider, handsome and bright, looking just like his beautiful mother._

_“Hogun conceals well, and he knows when to back off.”_

_“And Fandral?”_

_“Ah Father, with one eye on the maidens and the other on the battle field, Fandral will never be as good a warrior as Hogun and I.” They shared a chuckle and Thor wiped his brow, but inquired with his eyes when the laughter died off and Odin remained silent. “What is it you wish to discuss, Father?”_

_Odin sighed openly, and tried not to show his hesitance. Thor was easy to lose control of and this could not be one of those times where Odin simply ‘let it go’._

_“Have I done something wrong?” Thor asked, suddenly concerned._

_Odin closed his eye and shook his head gently, and reached over to pat his shoulder. “No, nothing like that. But I have a decision to share with you, and I need you to think as a king.”_

_“Of course,” Thor shifted forward, eager as a puppy. His smile was once again bright and warm, but it long lost its effect on Odin. Odin knew exactly how fast that smile could turn childish and impossible._

_“As a king Thor.” Odin repeated, and Thor opened his hands and pulled his lips in a gesture to show he was ready. “I have decided upon a match for you.”_

_Thor stilled, and leaned back, but a hestitant smile flickered across his features. He then chuckled lightly. “Is it Amora? Mother could not stop talking about that woman. She unnerved me with her magic, but I suppose that is why Mother liked her so.”_

_“No, it is not Amora—”_

_“It isn’t Sif, is it?” Thor asked, tensed suddenly with trepidation. “Father she is naught but a warrior partner for me-”_

_“No, Thor, it isn’t Sif either.”_

_Thor sighed and visibly relaxed, but his father’s decrease in a positive tone caught his attention. He remembered to think like a king and sat up straighter, and cleared his throat._

_“Very well, who is it?”_

_“…Loki of Jötunheimr.”_

Thor definitely thought it was a joke.

_“BAHAHAHA! Father, you should jest more often, you keep the straightest face.”_

_Odin sighed and lifted his face a little higher. “This is no joke.”_

_Thor grinned, and shook his father’s left shoulder. “You are funny, Father.”_

_“Thor, I asked you to think as a king.”_

_“And I am, and I think you’d make the finest court jester.”_

_“You remember Loki, yes?” Odin asked, his face grave, his tone tight. Thor’s smile was dropping slowly._

_“Yes, I suppose.” Thor was uncomfortable now, but tried valiantly to hold his smile. “Small and blue, I don’t remember much other.”_

_“Apparently he is still small and blue,” Odin shot, and looked off out the window. “Álfheimr is appealing for his hand in marriage.”_

_“So let them.” Thor said instantly, looking around as if his father was mad. “What business is that of ours?”_

_“Do you even think before you speak?” Odin hissed, shooting a glare at Thor who was no longer smiling, but glaring right back, “They will become a danger to Asgard if they unite.”_

_“Thor frowned heavily and gave a confused shrug. “Why? What danger are the light Elves?”_

_“You’re asking the wrong question.”_

_“How do I come up in this?” Thor asked angrily, “You decided upon a match for me with Loki? What of Álfheimr?”_

_“We cannot allow them to join, Thor.”_

_“Father-” Thor stood abruptly, but Odin was right after him._

_“Did you ever stop to_ think, _to wonder_ **why** _Loki had been here when you were a child?” Odin asked, his words heated, enough so that Thor stood back to escape their wrath and shook his head with wide eyes. “Because you were once betrothed, after Loki’s birth. But the promise was lost when Fárbauti died and I purposely ignored it because I was stubborn, and Laufey came years later to call us up on it. He brought Loki to Asgard to ensure the union would still one day happen.”_

_“No…” Thor had taken a few more steps back, watching Odin as if he didn’t know him._

_“But I chased them away, and pretended it never happened. The realms just were not ready for such a peace treaty, I didn’t think they were ready.”_

_“What, and now they are?” Thor asked, his voice breaking, his bright blue eyes wet and shaking. Odin pursed his lips, and steeled his feelings against Thor’s shock._

_“As the future king, you will do what is best for Asgard.”_

_“Marrying a Jotun is best for Asgard?” Thor asked, barking an incredulous laugh._

_“Keep your enemies close,” Odin said, softly, “You must do this, for Asgard. You know I never do anything without reason.”_

Thor was not entirely convinced, but he lost his strength in his shock and Odin took the chance to keep talking, strapping Thor down further and further until all he could say was “Yes Father”. Soon after Frigga found her son back in her lap like the old days, tearing and complaining about his father. Frigga wished she could say ‘I told you so’, but the situation was no joke. 

Thor marrying a Jotun was _no joke._

It was dangerous.

The moment those damning words left Odin’s lips Laufey grit his teeth tightly and the very next second Loki turned to him in shock. 

“What?!” Loki yelled, and gawked between his father and Thrym, the latter of whom looked just as shocked as he did. The court behind them did not look alarmed by the words, but rather by Loki’s reaction.

“…My son.” Laufey repeated, staring down Odin in an effort to ignore the outraged gawking from Loki. The Aesir men watched Loki with interest at his outburst, even Thor, but Loki didn’t see it.

Odin glanced at Loki, who was certainly not shy to show his ignorance and disapproval on the topic, and gave a sigh at Laufey. “I was foolish to have declined you all those years ago, Laufey, but perhaps it is not too late. Thor is without a wife, and we believe a join will benefit both our people. We will of course offer a proper bride price of our customs, and fulfil any of your customs as well.”

Loki blanched and almost got up in protest, if it weren't for what felt like a hundred eyes weighing him down. His heart started a winding marathon in his chest and he forgot what it meant to inhale. This time he managed to keep his eyes from Thor, and tried to burn them into his father's face. “Father!” he choked.

“Loki, be silent!” Laufey finally barked. Loki jerked back in his seat with a horrified expression, swallowing what he couldn’t verbalise. The room was painfully silent, ringing an ominous hum that set the guard from both lands on edge. Laufey scowled impatiently and turned back to Odin who had caused trouble despite coming in peace. “You know Balor approached me. Why are you interfering? We offered you a join-”

“I was a fool-”

Laufey made a surprised noise and leaned forward in a patronizing manner. “Oh, I can’t hear you.”

“I was a fool,” Odin said loudly, willing to play along with whatever smugness Laufey was bound to have. Thor and the Asgardian guard looked less than pleased at the treatment of their king but could say nothing so long as Odin wasn’t complaining. Loki couldn’t find it in him to enjoy the moment either—he was watching them all in horror. Suddenly, he didn’t want to look at Thor.

“King Laufey. I should have accepted your offer. But we still have more to offer than Álfheimr and I implore you to give us a chance. Surely Thor, God of Thunder, son of Odin Allfather would make the best suitor for a prince of Jötunheimr?

Laufey shot him a childish glare. “Why should I give you the chance? Jötunheimr manages fine without your lot, and we will continue to, _with_ or, _without_ Álfheimr.”

“Then you have not yet accepted them? I implore you, give Thor a chance. They played as boys, perhaps they can bond as adults.”

Loki was looking increasingly alarmed and Laufey cursed himself for not just telling Loki earlier. He would have, he wasn’t particularly secretive, but he had wanted to think on the idea first because Loki was unpredictable when it came to things he didn't like. And with the trouble Laufey was having of mating him to one of his warriors, he didn't even want to imagine the trouble he'd have here. And it was already showing. He just didn’t expect Odin to blurt out the suggestion like a careless child, Balor had requested for privacy. 

“You are willing to have a Jotun as the next Queen of Asgard?” he asked, watching Odin like a hawk, as did the rest of the room. Thor didn’t look quite _anything_ , he was as stiff and blank as a sheet of ice, watching the side of Odin’s head. Thrym noticed his fists were clenched, but there was no sharing it at the moment.

“I am. If it secures peace and brotherhood, why not?”

Odin's calm façade was started to annoy Laufey, and judging by the twitching expression Thor held he wasn't the only one. “You’d mix your precious blood line with ours? _Mine_?” he goaded.

“Let us put behind the old feuds Laufey and bring together our future, and our children’s future. And their children.”

Loki nearly choked on his saliva.

This was insane. First Álfheimr, now Asgard. There had to be a catch somewhere, and being prejudice, Laufey automatically pinned it on Odin. While Álfheimr had never been overly accommodating to anyone, they had never caused destruction like Asgard. But there was much to gain from Asgard as well, if one was greedy enough… 

Besides him Thrym looked completely out of words for a change, and Loki was looking anywhere but at the living occupants in the room, his small hands gripping tightly to the chair in effort not to shake. His chest was rising and falling faster than anyone else in the room and Laufey kept a piece of his attention on Loki in case he tried to get up and run off.

Laufey nodded, looking grim so not to make Odin excited. “…Very well, I will consider your words.”

Loki looked like he wanted to argue and melt into the chair at the same time. 

Odin seemed to relax, and gave a forced smile, while Thor gave his attention to the icy floor. “Thank you, King Laufey.” He then looked pointedly at Thor who glanced up at him with a face that said, “Do-I-have-to?”, then stepped forward stiffly and bowed to Laufey.

“Thank you for your audience, King Laufey,” he said obediently, then turned to Loki and bowed to him as well, alarming said male who tried his best to press back through his seat. “And yours, Prince Loki.”

With that they left quickly and it was for the best. They were escorted out and the tension in the room dropped substantially and curiosity rose in its place. The guards and court members were all murmuring amongst themselves and once more Loki was the topic of conversation. And for once, he wasn't happy about it. 

He couldn't believe this, he couldn't believe his father! While Laufey hadn't told him or Thrym about what King Balor had visited for, a marriage to him was the last thing on his mind! He expected stupid trading deals or annual peace meetings full of wine and awkward conversation. He had even humoured Thrym with ideas that he finally would get a princess! But this…this was not good at all.

Laufey got up and said a few words to his brothers in the court, then looked down at Loki. “Come with me,” he said in a low voice, and started off to his office. Thrym hurried to get up and followed first, and looked back to prompt Loki to do the same. Loki forced his shock into anger and got out of his seat with shaking legs, and stormed after them, followed by dozens of eyes. 

This was ridiculous! Loki had just managed to avoid the prospect of being mated for the time being, and now the dilemma was at his door again, and from different realms! He just wanted to be left alone, by everyone, but lately the wish was becoming more and more an intangible idea. It was scaring him, and he hated feeling scared.

The moment he entered the private office he blanched, slapping a hand to his chest. “Father! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Laufey was pacing, and shot Loki a stern look. “Do not raise your voice at me! This is exactly why! You lash out when scared!”

“I am not sacred! But when kings are coming to arrange for my marriage I’d like to know!” Of course he was scared, marriage would be the end of his freedom, of who he was. He didn't know if he was ready or not—he just didn't _want_ to be either way.

“Loki, I have trouble mating you to any of my finest warriors, how would I be lucky enough for you to accept this?” Laufey asked, and Loki paused.

“…You won’t.”

“Exactly. Now be silent.” Laufey sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. Loki stood shifting from foot to foot and willed the tears to stay away.

Thrym looked a little uncomfortable, like he didn't know whose side in the room to take. “This is odd, all of a sudden we have two realms begging for a merger, which do we choose?”

“Why do we have to? You’re not the one who would have to bind it!” Loki screamed, throwing his shaking hands out.

“It is a great honour, isn't it? You will be unifying two lands-!”

“Then why don’t _you_ do it-!”

Laufey scowled as their rising voices grated on his nerves and lashed out. He grabbed Loki’s arm, jerking him forward and out of his yelling. “Stop! Loki, you are Frostfemme for a reason. This is your purpose, your duty to fulfil. A marriage to either land will benefit us more than giving you as a prize to our best warrior.”

“Helblindi will be upset.” Thrym said as he thought of one of the warriors in particular who was most eager for Loki’s hand.

“He will have to get over it.” Laufey murmured, and slowly released Loki who ripped away his arm and hugged himself, drifting back as a heavy weight sunk into the depths of his stomach. He had never felt more like an object. 

“Father, please-”

“I think Asgard.” Thrym said.

Loki almost frothed at the mouth. “Thrym!”

Thrym held his hands up with an apologetic expression. “They are stronger! Odin may be a bastard and his son is a cotton-headed idiot but they are the logical choice.”

Laufey nodded in thought. “Indeed they are. But Odin has hatred for our people and Balor does not. The light Elves are a fine people. The only reason they aren’t as glorious as Asgard is because they didn’t slaughter others to rise up upon the foundation of their carcasses.”

Loki stood in dread, shaking his head minutely but knowing it would do nothing to help him. The need to mate him off had been burning in his father for a while now, and as much as he hated to admit it, a union to a foreign realm would do them much good. And Laufey would not turn that down, his father never turned away power… But Asgard was an old enemy, how would they get along when forced so close? And _Thor_....Thor was legendary for beating first, asking later, and Laufey wanted to bind him to _that_?

“What did Balor say?” Thrym asked, and finally glanced at Loki as the tension rolled off of him in palpable waves.

“Nothing of which concerns either of you just yet.”

Loki scoffed sarcastically, looking near murderous. “ _What_?”

“Father you’re supposed to be teaching me how to handle such duties for when I am king.”

“And I shall, once I decide the best way to handle this.” 

Loki was almost feeling dizzy. The panic was going to start choking him. His heart thrummed frantically in his chest and he dug his nails into his arms to keep his expression from giving him away. “Father, please,” he said softly.

This time Laufey turned to him, and his expression softened. He loved his children, no doubt, all of them, Loki just as much, but they were adults now and adults had responsibilities. “Loki, you are my smartest child.”

Thrym looked up in offense. “Oh, thanks.”

“You need to be smart. A queen is a grand title, and if your play your part right you can get anything you ask from either princes. This is a duty of a Frostfemme, your time has come Loki. Be smart.” Maybe it was for a greater reason he hadn’t pressed the possibility of Loki marrying one of the Jotun warriors, for this sudden prospect had been waiting around the corner. The Norns knew best.

It's a pity Loki didn't listen to anyone, Norns included.

There was nothing that Loki could verbalise that wouldn’t be a curse or tears. He swallowed thickly in his defeat and quickly turned to leave, slamming open the door and slamming it shut with equal force. Laufey sighed as Loki rushed out, and turned to Thrym who watched him carefully.

“…What shall we do?”

Laufey gestured to the seats. “…Sit, we shall discuss it.”

XxXxXxXxXxXx

Loki couldn’t catch a break. If it wasn’t the rebels trying to make him miserable, it was his father, all because he was different. And a valuable kind of different, unfortunately. He was a special kind of Jotun blessed with a petite frame and a beautiful face, highlighted with long Aesir-like hair and soft features. The Aesir referred to his kind as being ergi and compared him to their females who held the same qualities. And while he was content with his beauty and knack for magic and fighting from a distance, it became more and more taxing to retain his pride the older he got. 

Apparently it was expected of him to accept a mate and settle down, and birth a couple hundred babies. It just didn’t sit right with him. He wasn't completely against the idea, but while it was being forced down his throat he would rebel. He wanted to live first. He saw what happened to birthers after they started a family, their lives were forever devoted to their family. And so far _family_ was not something Loki enjoyed, all they did was _demand demand demand_. If he could explore and read and learn for all eternity, he’d be forever happy.

But his father was king, and he was a prince, and so if something was expected of him, he had to do it. Laufey had held a grand competition a few weeks back to make a list of the best warriors of Jötunheimr who could stand a chance to take Loki as a mate, but before the competition could be completed the rebels sneaked in around all the commotion and very nearly made off with Loki—who had not been impressed. While he managed to kill a few of them before they got to incapacitate him (because mercy knows he wouldn’t be given the honour of a competition before being bred in their capture), the selected warriors took great pleasure in rescuing him and it made Loki feel worse. He was nothing but an object, a prize, all because he was smaller than them. 

And worst off, no amount of effort could change that. He was inferior to them and that was their custom, no matter his royalty, no matter his value. Things were expected of him, and arguing against the expectations was not one of them.

Now Laufey had just struck gold. No wonder he hadn’t said anything about this after the Elves had left, and Loki was lucky he hadn’t chosen to skip out on the throne duties that morning or he would still be in ignorant bliss. It made him both livid and terrified, but it all fell spiralling into depression because there was little he could do or say to change it. All those times growing up Laufey had told him he’d grow to be a revered queen didn’t seem like a fairy tale any more, it was happening now, and Loki wasn’t ready.

If he couldn’t change their minds, he needed another plan.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

It was most exciting when a note finally arrived from Jötunheimr. Nuada accepted it graciously from the messenger but he couldn’t quite keep the curiosity at bay. He opened the letter as he stepped into his father’s quarters, whom immediately dismissed the two women who were helping to dress him for the day.

Nuada drifted forward as he read Laufey’s handwriting and the ladies sidled past him. They closed the door to give their kings privacy, but Nuada’s face fell shortly after and he stopped in an abrupt halt. Balor picked up on his son’s distress easily, from his aura rather than sight. “What does it say, my son?” he asked gently, and stepped forward to close the distance.

Nuada reread the offending lines. Then one more time. He frowned at the words he thought he did not understand, but it was as clear as day no matter how many times he blinked. “It’s…what?”

Balor reached out and calmed his son with a hand on the shoulder. “Nuada?”

“Father… Asgard…” Nuada looked up, unsure. He kneaded the scroll between his fingers and tried not to let the news get to him, but just a twitch tighter and he’d rip the scroll in two. He shut his mouth and breathed through his nose just as Balor squeezed his shoulder to encourage the action.

“Calm yourself.”

“I am sorry…I just…Laufey invites us to…compete for Loki’s hand.”

Balor frowned. “…Compete?”

Nuada looked back at the letter to make sure he wasn’t mistaken, but the words stood out and mocked him. “…Odin approached Laufey for Loki’s hand.”

“What?” Balor asked angrily, and looked down at the paper and wished his eyes were younger so that he may read it for himself.

Nuada swallowed and cleared his throat before speaking. “It says here we are to compete with Asgard for this marriage. Odin appealed as well, for Thor. It must have been after us or Laufey would have surely said something.” Which wasn’t long, it was barely a couple of days passed. It made Nuada upset, it felt like an attack against him, against their plans.

“Why would they do this? Odin, that schemer…”

Nuada’s cool jostled as his blood simmered and he fought to keep from getting angry. “What are they trying to prove? That bearded dolt they call their future king wouldn’t know the first thing about handling a liaison with Jötunheimr, let alone how to handle Loki. Asgard despises Jötunheimr, what could they gain doing this? What have we done to merit such a challenge?”

Balor patted Nuada’s cheeks and shook his head, urging a calm wave onto the younger. “Nothing my son, this is Odin’s doing. Odin has always been a great one for staying high on the pedestal. He cannot bear to lose. He has brought up his son the same. I fear this will be no easy task if we are to compete for Loki.”

But that was not fair, this was between Álfheimr and Jötunheimr! Asgard truly never could keep its big nose out of other people’s business. Nuada scowled, “I can handle Thor, with or without his precious hammer. A good warrior can make anything a weapon if needed, excluding his fists.”

Balor’s face became drawn. “…This is not good. Asgard is a tempting choice for a union. I am surprised Laufey is still giving us a chance.”

“They hate each other.” Nuada stated, looking off as if staring at something confusing.

“Yes, but they could benefit more if they joined, they are both greedy enough to go that far.” That was one of the biggest flaws Jötunheimr and Asgard shared—greed. It was their weakness and because of that similarity they failed to see just how alike they were under the blood they shed. Odin and Laufey were greedy creatures and Balor had kept his distance, and thus taught Nuada humility and sense so he could do the same. But Thor on the other hand, he was a great big child among the realms, and Loki? Well, he was still a mystery, but there was definitely a fiery person behind those eyes if Balor remembered correctly.

Nuada dropped his hands and glanced down at the paper in distaste as if it were directly at fault. “…I suppose Loki has no sway on Laufey’s choice?”

“Not much, I am afraid.” Balor sighed heavily.

Nuada sighed too, then lifted his face with a purpose. “I will just have to gain all their attention then. And knock Thor on his drunken backside.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

As soon as Heimdall brought them home, Thor rushed away from his father. Odin let him be, so long as he wasn’t arguing.

On the way to his chambers, Thor passed Frigga who gave a great sigh to see him in one piece. He sighed inwardly and slowed when she headed his way, and opened his arms for her embrace.

“I was worried.” She said honestly, petting his hair.

“I am well.” He replied into her hair, without emotion. They parted and she petted his cheek, searching his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood to be mothered though, and kindly withdrew. “I’d like privacy, please Mother.”

Frigga smiled sadly and stepped side, and nudged him towards the direction of his chambers. “Go on.” 

He kissed her hand in apology and hurried off, his cape billowing. The servants rushed out of his way, his mood already promising broken furniture and a flood of the town’s square. As soon as he entered his chambers he ripped off his red cape and threw it aside, draping it over a figure he had not seen.

“I would much rather have women undressing and throwing their clothes at me.” Fandral said drily, but squinted a teasing scowl at Thor as he fought off the large cape. Thor looked surprised at his presence but he couldn’t find it in him to laugh, and smiled weakly in greeting as Sif stood from the edge of his bed. They must have sat waiting for him, but he couldn’t see Hogun or Volstagg.

“How did it go?” Sif asked seriously.

Thor blew the air out of his cheeks and squeezed at the back of his neck to ease the muscles. “Good, for father. Laufey is considering it.”

“This is insane,” Sif said, for what must have been the hundredth time since Thor shared Odin’s plans, “I understand wanting to bind peace but bringing in a Jotun to Asgard as our queen? I cannot picture it.”

Thor nodded seriously with her, a bad taste settling in his mouth as he tried to picture the same thing. Loki was definitely still blue and surprisingly small, but he hadn’t expected him to be _so_ small. He was smaller than Thor, and for Jotun that was shocking. Many Aesir men were smaller than he, but a smaller Jotun? Thor wondered if Loki stopped aging at some point, or if Thor just overgrew. 

Then he wondered what it would be like having his small blueness sitting in Frigga’s throne one day, and what it would be like waking up in the morning to look into those unnerving red eyes. Then that skin, lined with runes and alien-likeness, could Thor touch it the way a king would touch his queen? Could Thor run his hands over Loki’s arms, cup his neck, drift down over his flat chest and curve into his waist? **_His_** …Laufey’s son was a man, no softness, no dainty beauty, no full breasts, no tender womanhood… Odin said he was ergi, but all Thor saw was a tiny Jotun who looked just as angered as he felt. 

Fandral did not share the same sentiment. “I overheard your father consulting with Heimdall, is the Jotun runt as small and pretty as he said?”

Sif looked up at him in a slow exaggerated manner, her lips twisted in distaste of her own. Thor squinted at Fandral and spared Sif a glance for help, but she was burning her gaze into Fandral who was pointed ignoring her.

“Come on Thor, there is beauty to be had in every land, your father wouldn’t have paired you with a Laufey Jr.”

Thor made a sound in disgust at the thought. “I would sooner jump off the Bifrost.”

“Don’t be a prude, Thor!” Fandral grinned and gave him a cute boyish wink, glancing at Sif in amusement. “Imagine a dame with blue skin that makes passionate beastly love. I hear Jotuns fuck like wild cats.”

“That is _disgusting_.” Sif spat.

“He is not a dame,” Thor said, helplessly. If Loki was a woman it would have eased him somewhat, even if she was Jotun, but unlike Fandral that lay with men and women, Thor had been plenty content with a woman’s flesh. 

“You have two ways do to this,” Fandral said, as if he were the mentor and Thor the student. “One, you can pretend he is a dame, all you have to do is close your eyes and take him from behind-” Sif made a disgusted sound and turned away “or, two, you can embrace the fact that he’s got a cock and no cunt and find the beauty in it. Men can be beautiful too.”

Thor looked incredible unhappy. “…Care to swop places?”

“You’re being stupid,” Fandral scolded, but Sif came to Thor’s rescue.

“No, he is being how we all should be—insulted. And what if he tries to kill Thor? What if this is a ploy by Laufey?”

“I hear Jotuns can’t do anything much while mating besides mating.”

“Shut up, you idiot.”

Thor groaned in despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any errors


	3. Foreign Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki gets stared at, Thor does some staring, and Nuada knows it's impolite to stare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> The support stats for Thor and Nuada remind me of that scene of Road to El Dorado where they were playing that ball sport with the impossibly high hoop, and each time a score was made a golden slab was placed on a higher stair? Yeah Nuada's side is full of gold slabs right now, Thor is still at the bottom XD

**Chapter 3: Foreign Arrival**

Two days and two letters later Jötunheimr was expecting visitors. Letters of welcome and invitation had been sent to the foreign royals and the palace got ready to host their company. It had been a long time since they accommodated visitors, and the servants were glad for the change in routine, even if it meant more work on their part

And like any good political development word of the possible foreign union spread like a biting wind through the land. The realm was abuzz with both praise and criticism to the king for not kicking out the foreigners who came to appeal for the royal Frostfemme. 

Loki had never hated his status more. 

Already his slim freedom diminished and he had guards following him everywhere like a vengeful spirit and servants hovering as if he’d suddenly throw himself out a window, which was actually a rumour making its rounds, probably his brothers' doing. He knew he had been impulsive and reckless in his youth when trying to prove he was as strong as his brothers, but he knew couldn’t do that any more. He wasn’t an innocent child and his superior attitude was something the rebels would love to get their hands on and break. He’d rather be cooped up in the palace and safe than out in the open and a target for at least forty percent of the population. He was proud, not stupid.

It was incredibly difficult to act as though he was okay, especially when he was being watched so thoroughly. He desired no pity from anyone dying to smother him in maternal affection and he would not break down in front of those revelling in his torment. It was no secret he was not looking for a mate, so everyone was trying to gauge his current reactions.

The day the foreigners were scheduled to arrive Loki was struggling to keep calm. The first two days had been hard as well, how did one _not_ think of the two realms planning to take him for their own? And with one of those realms being Asgard, Loki wondered if it were his death sentence. While no wars or battles had been fought in a very long time, it was not as if they were cosy enough to just _unite_. 

That morning Loki wanted to scream and resist and tell his father to call it off, but what good would that do? Helblindi or one of the other Jotun men would just jump at the chance to have him instead. And honestly, when he thought about it, being mated to them didn’t seem any more appealing than to an Elf or an Aesir. But at least he knew what to expect with his own people. With the others, especially Asgard and their Thor…it was a hard topic to swallow.

He shuddered at those words.

“Is this necessary?” Loki asked irritably as the servants dolled him up for the presentation. His hair had been combed back and drawn into a tail with fine fur and decorative crystals hooked around the sides of his head in the strands. He wore a long skirt that was specifically made for courting purposes, covering the front and back of his legs but split open on the sides quite a bit to parade his legs and their shape that was unlike at least ninety percent of Jötunheimr. His chest was bare, and for once he felt exposed, though covered by a wide golden necklace of jewels that once belonged to his mother. The servants looked to be enjoying dressing him up and when they were done he felt like a piece of jewellery himself.

They were in Laufey’s room. The king demanded Loki be prepared there and oversaw it himself to make sure Loki didn’t give the poor servants a hassle seeing as how reluctant he was. 

“You do this on your own everyday and suddenly you leave your chambers looking like a peasant. So yes, yes it is. You’ll be meeting your suitors, you need to look presentable.”

Loki smiled as sarcastically as possible. “Silly me, I thought I’d look more _ravishing_ with my hair unkempt and clothing ruffled.” 

“Leave that to the princes.” Laufey muttered, looking distracted. Loki snarled, but the tension was interrupted as Thrym walked in, a big grin on his face as he shut the door from prying eyes. “Father, Thor looks like he is about to burst.”

“He can endure a while longer, Álfheimr has yet to arrive.” Laufey said dismissively, and Loki felt his heart do a somersault. The servants were currently fluffing out his skirt and pulling it side to side at his waist so it sat just right, but Loki felt that they were just trying to prolong his obvious torment—he hadn't been the kindest prince to them. 

Thrym looked to be having as good a time as the servants. “Do you think they’ll fight? Is that why you've arranged a meeting with both parties at the same time?”

Laufey shot him a scolding glare. “No, but I do expect to find out who is more eager for a match. I do not have much faith in Thor holding back his hammer but we’ve yet to meet Balor’s son. Apparently he’s almost twice Thor’s age, perhaps he’ll be wiser.”

“Elves are naturally wiser and more civil than the Asgard.” Loki said, bias against Asgard just like the entire of Jötunheimr through oral tradition, and tried not to get lost on the former of Laufey’s last sentence about the Elf prince. Maybe the princes would kill each other, Loki would gladly mourn for show's sake then. 

“Pray they know as much about Jotuns as you do them.”

Thrym pulled his lips. “Doubtful.”

“Shut up!” Loki hissed, and gladly pulled away as the servants finished. He looked down at himself with a tight lipped pout. Any other day he might have admired himself, but this was all for the eyes of two other men and their bastard fathers, just like with the other contest held for the Jotun warriors. 

Were it not that Frostfemme weren’t to be shown off leisurely like jewels because of their worth? Weren’t they kept hidden away so prying and jealous eyes didn’t grow narrow and scheming? If he said that, Laufey’s answer would probably be ‘This is different, it’s a marital prospect’.

The room quietened dramatically as all eyes fell on Loki, who looked even more beautiful than he usually did. The servants stepped back, looking pleased with their work, and Thrym laughed softly in awe as he circled him. “Oh wow, Loki.”

“Shut up.”

Laufey shoved Thrym and his gawking aside. “Good, you look perfect.” He said and started to examine Loki shamelessly. Loki grit his teeth as his father turned him this way and that to make sure there wasn’t a thread or hair out of place. Why didn't he just send him out there naked? So much for Laufey wanting to protect his _special son_.

The door creaked open again and another servant popped their head in. “Your highnesses, Álfheimr has arrived.”

As Loki choked back the burning reluctance Laufey put a pointed hand on the small of his back, stopping him when he ghosted backwards. “Good, offer them refreshments and have the guards subtly make their presence known. The throne room needs no more damage.” He added, with Thor and Mjölnir in mind.

“Yes, my king.”

The servant left, as did the two who had been dressing Loki. Thrym turned back to them, and looked Loki over in awe. “I can’t wait to watch this, the Almighty Thor finally has to earn something.”

“That _something_ has a fucking name.” Loki seethed, just about ready to hitch up his skirt and kick his idiot brother where it hurt most. Last time Thrym hadn't been _this_ chirpy about it. He had gone around declaring to the competitors they had to beat him first, even if they won the contest, before they could get Loki. While it had been playful taunting Loki had appreciated the brotherly concern and affection, but this time Thrym was much too excited, and Loki felt even more alone.

At Loki's language the king rubbed his temple. “Maybe Balor’s son will save my sanity seeing as you and Thor are out to destroy it. Come, let’s start.” He said, and urged Loki forward. 

As stiffly as possible, Loki moved forward with him, Thrym trailing happily after them. Many times Thrym had exaggerated a happy attitude so it would brush off onto Loki, but this wasn't one of those times where it would work. This was serious. The morning had passed too fast for words, and he had barely gotten any sleep last night, even with the sleeping draft. At least time was passing quickly, maybe he’d blink and a few hours would have gone.

The walk to the throne room was a difficult one. The hallways constricted around them, though no one but Loki seemed to notice. His stomach was in knots and his feet tried to cling to the icy floor, holding him from going any further for every fibre of his being knew he did not want to be there. The urge to just turn and walk in the opposite direction was strong, but the one thing Loki was not, was a coward. He had to face this. He had to be strong. He had to be a proud prince. He had to show his father he would not be put down.

But he didn’t have to do it perfectly.

His nerves were still jumpy and all of a sudden hundreds of eyes were burning into him as the throne room swallowed them. All the Jotun worthy of witnessing such a significant meeting were present and watching the most high of the land approach. They stared into Loki as if trying to sniff out his thoughts, looking at every inch of him that was covered in something pretty, and whatever was bare was clean, soft and smelling good. He was on display again and he’d have to bear it. Only this time he was on display for strangers.

The last time he'd been dolled up was for the warriors of Jötunheimr, but even that hadn't been this stressful as everyone knew how Loki was, and in general he knew everyone. Or at least what to expect. He had sat with a long face, slouching and glaring at everyone and they laughed it off because he was cute little Loki, _he'd make a stern dam_ , they'd say. _Good luck taming that_ , the warriors joked amongst themselves, each eager to call feisty little Loki their own. 

He didn’t know how the princesses and queens of foreign realms did it, it was not his idea of being honoured. Though, when compared to what the rebels wanted to do with him, he would take this any day. Subconsciously he grabbed his left hand with his right and held them against his stomach, but quickly squeezed them tightly to keep the stress from toppling him. 

There was a hum in the large room but Loki couldn’t understand what was being said. It sounded like gibberish, and on top of that his heart was pounding into his ears, roaring away his sanity and senses. He almost relished the feeling of his father urging him forward for the need to falter was growing, and he barely noticed the people around them. He could have stepped on someone and not realised. But before he could slip up his brave façade they were walking towards the foreign guests, and Loki forgot how to breathe and fell into a mechanical mask of weak indifference.

Laufey as it seems, did not. He was certainly thrilled and smiled warmly, falsely, and extended a hand out as the kings gave him their attention, their entourages behind them. “Welcome, Kings and your sons of Álfheimr and Asgard, to Jötunheimr.”

The kings were…kings. Loki hadn’t known what to expect, he had tried not to consciously think about anything, but for some tiny reason he felt a little less intimidated when he looked at them. Odin was draped in shining golden things, things so unlike Jötunheimr, hair grey and skin wrinkled. Balor was dressed more modestly, but none the less royal, and he was sullen, pasty and frail. They were also old—the Elf king _really_ old—maybe they’d die soon. Today would be good. And then the princes could fight and slaughter one another and die too...

The thought was petty and childish, but Loki couldn’t help it. He made it a point not to look at the men standing straight behind the kings, fearing his stomach would start to churn. He had been forced to nibble an early snack that morning, but he gave no guarantees it wouldn't come back out if provoked.

“Thank you, for your hospitality, King Laufey.” The Elf king said, and bowed with his entourage. He looked so fragile, Loki couldn’t help comparing him to the elders of their own court who were ancient and yet still extremely durable. But such was the gift of the Jotun.

Odin and his company of guards and his son followed soon after. “Yes, thank you, Laufey.”

Laufey bowed as well, for shows’ sake, and took Loki down with him. Thrym followed to the side, with surprising elegance (though it could be seen as mockery if you squinted) and everyone in the room watched closely. “Thank you for arriving graciously.” _And not destroying more of our home_.

The old kings nodded, standing a mere step away from each other, and in a mad fit of hysterics Loki nearly giggled at the image of them slapping and clawing at each other over him. But the thought wrenched away when a new figure stepped forward before them.

It was the Elf prince. Behind him Balor straightened and smiled proudly, and the attention in the room sharpened further, if it were possible. 

The man was dressed in typical royal Álfheimr garb, calm faded colours that matched the skin of the Elves, lined with deep crimsons and blacks. Loki recognised it from his studies of the realms, and despite his worry, he suddenly felt excitement flicker at the realisation that this _was_ happening. Yes he hated being bargained for, but right now he was the most desired thing in the realms. And suddenly there was a rather handsome Elf prince addressing them. How many times had Laufey stressed he could get whatever he wanted from a mate if he was just good? And from a future king as a mate, the possibilities were endless.

If you had the guts to go through with it, of course.

In a clean sweep Nuada bowed, keeping it short and humble as Balor advised. His right arm folded across his chest to lay his palm over his heart and the other folded behind his back so it wasn't idle, as idle things attracted mischief. 

Loki stiffened and tried to move back out of instinct but Laufey kept him rooted, squeezing his side to keep him from losing himself in panic. Laufey knew his child, which only made Loki despise him more.

“Great King Laufey of Jötunheimr. I am Prince Nuada Silverlance, King Balor’s only son and heir to the ancient throne of Álfheimr. I thank you for this opportunity and I hope you will look in our favour.”

Laufey squeezed Loki’s body again to stop him twitching so obviously, and smiled down at the prince. “Prince Nuada, it is good to finally meet you.”

With the king greeted and sounding satisfied Nuada was free to greet the object of their attentions. He turned carefully to Loki, who swallowed, but before he could get a word in Thor’s booming voice drowned him out.

“King Laufey, thank you for accepting our request. I humble myself and thank you greatly.” Thor said in one breath the second he was beside Nuada, Mjölnir hanging at his side. 

Half the people in the room raised their brows, including Nuada and Loki. Those were certainly not his words—Thor Odinson was anything but humble.

Laufey only managed to not cock a brow through his centuries of discipline and gestured a hand to his left where Thrym stood tall and proud, a perfect vision of Laufey in his younger days. “Prince Thor. Gentleman, allow me to introduce my sons of concern. Thrym, future king of Jötunheimr. And this is Loki, my peace offering.”

Nuada was first to react, almost as if it were a race, and extended his hand gracefully towards Loki with a wrist swirl Loki often used when practising his sorcery. His left arm was still behind his back and he leaned forward slightly as he addressed Loki. “Prince Loki, your radiance surpasses all others, I am honoured to share this moment in your presence.”

He was not blushing. He was not blushing. _Fuck he was blushing_. Loki's face burned and without a prompt from his father that was waiting in the wing, he gingerly lifted and placed his hand in Nuada’s. It was shaking but to withhold his hand would be rude, and he would be forced to play his part with some prodding from his father. He didn’t notice Thor pulling a face, but Thrym did, and Laufey had to shoot a stink eye at him to keep him from grinning.

No one had ever kissed his hand before. It just wasn’t a custom of Jötunheimr. Loki knew about it in his readings, brave warriors would kiss their sweet maidens on the hand to make them swoon, but it seemed silly and he never gave it much thought, but the blush significantly deepened when Nuada grasped his hand with the utmost care and kissed with a mere brush of his slim lips, then pressed it to his forehead in a manner most respectful.

Loki very nearly almost swooned.

The prince must have been less confident than he seemed, for he peeked up and looked at Loki for what must have been approval. From his height and Nuada's bend Loki got a good look at his face—it was most exotic. So much paler than the Aesir and discoloured around his eyes and his lips. His skin was lined with the traits of royal elven blood and marked clearly with what looked like battle scars. His eyes are also different, void-like dark and scattered with an auburn hue that sat just perfectly in the dark groves of his face. His long hair was pin straight and as fair as his skin, yellowing at the ends, whiter at the roots. There was an intensity to him that could not be seen, but Loki could feel it, and it reminded him to be afraid of these strangers.

When no reaction rose Nuada nodded respectfully and pulled away graciously, leaving Loki to jerk back his hand as if he had come to his senses. Thor obviously didn’t know grace as Nuada did, and nearly pushed past him to get on one knee. In his show of respect he placed forth Mjölnir at Loki's feet and bowed his head low, his hair curtaining his face. Loki grit his teeth painfully and froze as there was no where to move back to. It wasn’t every day Thor Odinson bowed to you, and if he wasn't so scared he might have been able to see the tension in Thor's large arms. 

The content mood was seeping off of his father in tangible waves that made Loki nauseas, intoxicating him and making his stomach pull tighter. He could almost taste Laufey's pleasure at the on goings, as well as the approval of the crowd. His face and ears were burning painfully and he prayed no one would notice, but Thor opened his mouth and stole the attention. 

“Loki Laufeyson, prince of Jötunheimr, thank you for this chance.” He said, his voice hard, and Loki struggled to keep himself a blank slate. Thor was definitely a large man, not all that of a Jotun, but more than enough to make an impression, and stand over him. Not to mention he was wider than him. Loki tried to study Nuada in his peripheral vision and gladly noted they were the same height. In fact, similar statue as well, only Nuada was a little more muscular, but he was probably a warrior first and foremost whilst Loki was a scholar, warrior second. Last if his father could have his way.

“Let us sit.” Content with introductions, Laufey gestured to the table and chairs set out for the occasion, which were made of wood to easily accommodate the foreign visitors. The servants were doing everything in their power to make them comfortable and make their king proud. Loki was surprised there hadn't been any accidents or conniving passings; Laufey must have sent death threats around, and those weren't usually to be taken lightly.

The witnessing Jotuns stood around or fashioned ice seats for themselves, the scribes taking notes and guards paying close attention should their king need them. 

At the table, Laufey sat with Loki to his left, Thrym to his right, and after them various brothers, and members of the court. Across the table sat Odin and besides him Balor. Thor sat to Odin’s right, which was directly opposite Loki, and Nuada sat on Balor’s left, which was in front of Thrym. 

Foods and drink were served in the blink of an eye and Loki felt a little detached from the happenings. The short giddy feeling that had surfaced washed away with the reality of the situation, and Loki found himself staring into his plate as Laufey prattled on about things he suddenly didn't care about. Usually he liked butting into politics and his father's court duties, he was good at it, but today Loki wasn't catching half of it.

“And I would like to remind everyone that Álfheimr approached first, Asgard second. While it is only reasonable I come to a decision after examining both sides, it is worrying Asgard chooses only to approach when Álfheimr does. But you are both welcome and I am eager to come to an agreement. Let us begin.”

And begin it did. The two kings took turns encouraging their case to Laufey who sat back and listened smugly as if he held riches and they were the begging peasants. Every so often the older members of Laufey’s court would ask a question, and Thrym himself tried it out once, and in return Nuada asked his own questions. Thor looked out of his comfort zone and just sat quietly trying not to look bothered, much like Loki. But it didn’t really matter, because Loki wasn’t listening, and he was glad no one had specifically instructed him to either. What did it matter anyway? He would be given away on his father's terms, and no matter the terms it was still all far from what he wanted. 

It didn’t even sound like noise or gibberish anymore, just a low hum sinking into his ears and holding him down like the hundreds of eyes. He had no appetite to eat despite the best of the best dishes being served, and just tried to get through the meeting without screaming and running off. He didn’t have to look up to feel the eyes on him and with Thor right across from him, he didn’t want to lift his face further than his plate. 

Thor was staring at him.

Loki swallowed the lump collected in his constricted pipe, despite his food being untouched, and pulled his feet and hands back into himself and the chair lest Thor's drift across and find him. He stared valiantly at his plate as if it were explaining advanced astronomy to him and furrowed his brows, hoping it would deter Thor's attention if he looked upset or ugly.

Still the staring continued and Loki's shoulders hunched further at the scrutiny. What exactly was Thor looking at? What was he looking _for_? Was he amused, perhaps? By such a small Jotun? Maybe he thought it was funny, maybe he was wondering how quickly he could beat such a Jotun? Or maybe he was just amused by the thought of owning his own frost giant?

“Loki.”

Loki jumped and looked up at his father's prompt. “Huh?”

Across the table the two foreign kings smiled, as if they possibly understood his dilemma, and Laufey leaned towards him with an understanding manner that he obviously stole from the other two. “What is your opinion?” he asked again as if he had asked the question a dozen times already.

“Um…” This time he got caught by those eyes and he looked around at the men at the table. What were they looking for? Had _everyone_ been staring at him the entire time? Maybe he was going insane. Balor was smiling kindly at him, as did the members of the Jotun court. Odin was smiling but clearly his thoughts were elsewhere, and surprisingly the Elf prince was glaring at Thor across the kings' chests, who was still staring at him. 

After what seemed like an eternity to Loki of eyes roaming in his direction, Laufey laughed and pardoned him, giving him the chance to drop his gaze again. “Please forgive my child, he is nervous.”

“That is normal.” Balor said with ease in his tone, an odd twinkle in his eyes. It all just seemed fake to Loki, and he forced an apologetic smile in return, caring little if they caught it or not. At least he noticed that no one seemed to be perversely ogling at him, even with his skirt and bare chest—he might have run off by now if that was the reason for Thor’s staring, but it didn’t seem to be, thankfully.

In fact, he seemed bothered.

“You both put forth tempting offers. I admit I have wanted a union with you, Odin, for a long time. But your last rejection still lingers in my mind. King Balor, your nation is a strong one and I can only imagine the heights it will rise to if we were to join, but a union with Asgard might be more so. I do not wish to cause tension to the party that must be turned away, but I would like to make a choice.”

Odin nodded seriously, but there was no sign of malevolence on him, or zeal for that matter. He was a good actor, Loki thought when he peeked up, and shivered at the greed of his father to even consider marrying his son to an Asgardian. He tried his best not to look at Thor, who was now finally staring at his plate.

“That is expected, of course, Laufey.”

“Indeed, I believe a fair competition will give us a fair answer. I need to think on it, however, as this is a delicate topic and I must consult our traditions and elders, but it will not be long. I will write shortly and inform you of the happenings.”

A competition? Great, another contest where he’d be poked and prodded to feign interest and stress about a victor. But one look at Thor and it was already implied who the victor would be. Then again, Loki knew nothing of Nuada and his capabilities, maybe he would surprise them. Or maybe they'd both die, hopefully.

“Laufey, Thor and I would like to make an offering,” Odin said, gaining a lot of raised brows, “A bride price to ensure Loki’s well-being and chastity. It is a custom of our people.”

Loki raised his own brows in surprise, and made it just in time to see a scowl spread across his father's face, the exact same time Balor withheld an odd smile. “…Then it is custom of ours that I decline. Loki knows his place and so do my people. His chastity shall remain intact until I say so. Loki is well as you can see, we do not need your _favours_ to assure it. But thank you for the thought.”

He was clearly upset and sounded nothing close to being _thankful_ , though he tried to sound indifferent. The Elf party looked secretly amused as if a private joke had been passed around, while Thor looked too indifferent to be truly bothered by his father's rejection. The other Jotun members were pulling light faces and grumbling to each other, and like his father the Elf prince was holding in a smile, directing it to his plate. 

Odin looked down to his own plate, unaware of his accidental insult. Clearly he was missing some Jotun knowledge, since all he probably knew was how to battle with them. “Very well, Laufey.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The moment the meeting was considered over, Loki pleaded the possibility of throwing up (which was not a compete lie) and with a great sigh Laufey allowed him to disappear. Loki hadn't embarrassed him or fought with him so he had earned his reprieve. He would have much prefer it if Loki tried to speak with the princes, but it was wishful thinking, and Thrym was eager to fill the gap.

While the official meeting was over, Laufey graciously suggested informal pleasantries for the sake of being neighbourly and offered the kings to fill their stomachs and mingle before they left. Balor was first to accept and Odin quickly after him. 

Thor couldn't look more reluctant if he tried.

Thrym couldn't look happier if he tried.

And as if sensing their moods, the kings suggested their sons follow their example, and before they knew it the three princes stood in an awkward circle. Thor looked like he wanted to fall back and crawl out like a serpent if it avoided being seen. The Jotuns thought it hilarious, but left Thrym to do what he did best.

“I must admit, this is exciting.” he blurted, glancing from prince to prince. “It's an honour to meet you both.”

“I agree, Prince Thrym.” Nuada smiled politely and accepted a goblet of wine from Thrym. Thor grudgingly took his as Odin glared at him from across the room. 

Thrym took a deep, rude chug of his and made a satisfied sound afterwards. If Loki was there he would have called out Thrym on trying to impress Thor as they'd heard Thor was a feared competitor at drinking contests. And food contests, but the mood was not quite jolly enough for that.

“Please, let's not use the titles, we're not old enough for that.” Thrym joked, glancing at their father's that were near ancient. Balor must have been the reason the word _ancient_ had been invented.

Nuada chuckled and glanced at his goblet, as if a tad guilty. “I might be excluded from that age line.”

Thrym looked at him for a second, then started when he understood. “Oh, of course. You're more aged than us. You're not _old_ though.”

“How old is aged?” Thor asked, cutting off Nuada's reply. He was staring down at Nuada with an odd expression, one Thrym didn't dare decipher lest he get blamed if the princes attacked each other. And while he would enjoy the sight, and the adrenaline, he did not wish to be stuck in the middle of their wrath. Or more specifically. Mjölnir.

Nuada thought before he spoke. “Aged enough.”

Thor stared right into his face, almost rudely, until Thrym cleared his throat. “Well, as the future king of Jötunheimr I declare a war free realm. I hope we can become allies!”

“With Asgard?” Thor asked, pointedly, and inclined towards Thrym in a manner that left Nuada excluded.

Thrym paused, glancing over Thor's shoulder at Nuada who was staring at the back of Thor's head in a most bored manner, and tried his best to smile at Thor. “With you both, of course. There is no reason we shouldn't all become friendly.”

“I agree,” Nuada said, glancing around at the Jotuns, “Marital union or not, brotherhood should be derived from this, nothing less.”

“I agree on that! Thor, we make a fine beer, you should try it one day soon!” Thrym exclaimed, just a little nervous as the princes ignored one another. Alcohol would surely distract the great Thor, everyone was expecting some form of trouble from him and faced with it, Thrym was having second thoughts.

Thor brightened somewhat, as if he could actually bear to. “Aye, I won't say no to that.”

“Also, I hold no hard feelings for the times you and your friends snuck into Jötunheimr and caused trouble. And neither does Loki.”

At Loki's mention both foreign princes looked up. Thor's expression twisted comically and he paused, looking lost for words before he could even start, so Nuada took the chance in a calm, patient manner.

“Your father said his nerves got the best of him, is he alright?” Honestly Loki looked ready to hyperventilate or kill someone, and judging by the way he rushed out, it could turn out to be both. It was good to see Loki was a person and not just a puppet raised by a king to do his will, but it was sad to see the distress clear on his features. 

“Loki? Oh he's fine. Just nerves. He's twitchy.” 

Thor looked satisfied with the answer and threw back his own goblet as if that was that, downing the wine without tasting it. His own gullet rivalled Volstagg’s when he was in the mood, which was usually anytime he was very happy, or very upset. Nuada looked back and forth between them as a further inquiry, but no better answer rose.

Thrym smiled widely again, either ignorant of the tension or simply pretending, and held up his goblet. “More wine?”

Thor shoved his in Thrym's hand desperately. “Aye.”

“No, thank you.” Nuada sighed and looked off again. He would much rather have approached Loki, he had days of ideas and planning waiting in line to woo the prince and now they were forced to sit in the back of his mind. Clearly Loki had been overwhelmed and while Nuada knew he wasn't blameless, he blamed a lot of it on Thor. The idiot didn't even try to appear friendly, acting as if a great injustice had been dealt on him, Odin's precious son. Loki was probably alone in a corner somewhere seeing as how everyone else looked much more eager than he did. Nuada sighed again to himself—getting angry was not going to help, not right now.

“Come then, both of you, we'll share a last drink before you must leave.” Thrym said, gesturing to the refreshments table and encouraging both men to head over. Thor marched his usual swagger, gaining attention and trying to keep his head high despite looking as if he'd much rather make a bee-line for the exit. Nuada marched off in a slower manner, looking slightly put off by something, but not nearly as grouchy as Thor did. Thrym could imagine their hostility. He'd fight to the death if presented with a princess and an opponent, and here these men had to act civil, and one of those men was _Thor Odinson_.

It was a miracle the walls were still holding—Thrym thanked his wonderful and contagious smile for that.

They reached the table and whoever was there cleared off for them. Thrym refilled his and Thor's goblet's and leaned forward as if to share a secret. “Being honest though,” Thrym said in an exaggerated whisper that had both princes leaning in despite their confusion, “No matter who joins us through marriage, the other will still be a friend. I swear it.”

Nuada raised his goblet kindly in a toast then downed his drink, as if trying to swallow the better half of the proposition. 

Thor fought to look as if he agreed and toasted too, glancing around at the Jotun folk, knowing deep down he could never see them as extended family. 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why not Malekith? His voice makes me want to curl up and die. srsly don't know what algrim sees in him omg. 
> 
> Also, I just really ship Nuada and Loki hard. Meh to Malekith.


	4. Asgard Ruins Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The special condition upon the competition's decision is revealed, along with much musings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Just to put it out there, the Jotuns in this particular story don’t give people frost bite when they touch them. Maybe when they want to, like to attack, but not by default.

**Chapter 4: Asgard Ruins Everything**

Jötunheimr was buzzing with stories. 

Everyone seemed to have a different opinion on the matter, but it was only the royal court’s opinions that mattered. Most of the general Jotun were against a union with Asgard and spat at the idea of letting Thor defile their precious Frostfemme. Others were surprisingly impressed by the Álfheimr prince of whom only good things were said and they felt that he was a better candidate for Loki. Then there were others who insisted a union was not needed and Loki should be mated to a Jotun; these were mostly the families and supporters of the previously selected warriors. And of course last, there were the rebels who were actually divided. Half sided with the majority and sneered at the horror of giving one of their own as a foreigner's wife, while the other half wanted to murder Laufey, get there hands on Loki and sell him to the realm who could offer the most.

It was a stressful situation to be the centre of.

Loki, for once, didn’t feel like prying or sneaking about for news and answers. Everywhere he turned people were speaking about it and usually it was not something very nice. The comments were insensitive and sometimes malicious if they knew he was listening, so he tried to stop listening. The main concern in the palace was about which prince was worthy to have him, and Loki soon grew bitter when no one came to ask him what _he_ thought. Thrym did, of course, but he was childishly disappointed when Loki declared he favoured neither. Thrym liked drama and this was not something Loki was willing to humour. 

Their father became scarce as he consulted with members of the court as to how to handle this particular age old tradition of a battle for the bride, and Loki didn’t try to seek him out. He hoped it would last forever, this wait, even if the rising anxiety eventually killed him. Maybe death would bring an honourable escape.

Would it have been better to have settled with a warrior when his father first brought up the topic? Then he wouldn’t be in this predicament. A political match to a foreign suitor meant displacement and a lot of sacrifice. As the bride, Loki would have to be the one to leave his home and join to his husband’s, which meant he’d have to leave Jötunheimr and go live on Asgard or Álfheimr. He didn’t know if he could do that, just the thought frightened him and he wished he could freeze into the walls of his room forever. How would the Asgardians or Elves react to him? Surely their people were reacting the same as the Jotuns; some for, some against. What if they were offended by his blue skin and red eyes? What if they tried to take action? Jotuns were unique in the realms and beauty was not included in their traits, which was a quality regarded high in the Nine Realms, especially Asgard and the like.

But Loki _was_ pretty. He heard that from the time he was young and the more he heard it the more it became a burden. Because of it he was suitable to represent Jötunheimr in the realms as a foreign bride, he’d bring his family and people honour and respect through accepting his role and being grateful for it. It was expected of him, and who was he, despite supposedly being so valuable, to say otherwise? His life was not his own, it never was. No one's life was ever truly their own unless no one cared about you, then your life was yours to do with what you wished.

After the initial meeting with both realms Loki had run to his room and sat panting in a corner by the bed. He inhaled through his nose, trying to slow down his breathing, and exhaled in the same manner, reminding himself of a snorting four-legged beast. After a while it helped, and he scrubbed away the wetness gathered in his eyes.

This _was_ happening. He felt stupid for the superficial giddiness that passed when the princes greeted him, he shouldn't be happy at all. He couldn't have his father thinking he supported this, and he wouldn't stroke the princes' egos either. Already there was enough talk on what the Elves and Aesir were like in bed, and how and if Loki would adapt to their ways. His own people were discussing it, so no doubt the other realms were. Just the thought of Thor fantasizing about holding him down and thrusting between his legs made his whole body shiver. 

Thor would receive immense pleasure by dominating one of them, Loki just knew it, so why couldn’t his father? Couldn't Laufey see how demeaning this was? Didn't he see it was a boon to Asgard? 

As for Nuada, his quiet demeanour started to give Loki chills when he realised he couldn't decipher it. But one saying came to mind, and it made him shudder further: Silent but deadly.

In the four days that passed Loki was escorted to the healers who did a full search on his health, and there was nothing afoot to be found. The healers were content, but his examination was far from over.

To his horror, the healers enacted an old tradition of testing his fertility. It was done to all virginal Jotuns who were being matched to another Jotun who held a significant place in their society. It would be a shame to be mated and have infertility rise and caused problems. So before matches were unified the Jotuns who were still pure were tested to make sure they were not barren. The rebels had interrupted the schedule in the last competition and Loki had been spared this test, but not this time.

If a Jotun could produce seed, both the giver and the dam, they were fertile. A barren Jotun lacked a certain fluid to ejaculate when climaxing so it was a very simple test to judge. Barren fluid was not as thick and had a bluish tinge to it whereas it should be white as snow. 

But what wasn’t simple, was being held down and forced into a sexual high.

Breathing heavily, his mouth parted and lips stretched, Loki moaned in the back of his throat and shook his head dizzily from side to side. The effects of an aphrodisiac were clouding his senses and making it difficult to react the way he wanted to—which was to resist. But once he inhaled the scent of an aroused dominant Jotun, his body detached itself gladly from his mind and his hips rolled up for friction as a large hand stroked his member.

He was helpless to fight the healer or himself and cursed his father thrice fold. There was another Jotun holding his arms above his head to hold him down, as the other Jotun pressed and rubbed sensually between his legs. Along with the stroking of his throbbing cock, two heavy set fingers were pressing against his entrance, and as if to humiliate him, he grew wet and it oozed out to coat the thick fingers for welcome. But they never entered, only pressed and rubbed in circles faster as he lubricated until he could have accommodated three of them in one go. 

The contact sent lightening bolts through his stomach and up into his neck making him arch beautifully. He moaned unhappily at the manipulation, but spread his legs wider and panted in need. His only victory was that he kept from begging for anything more. Whatever sounds he made were, while humiliating and wanton, incoherent and had little meaning other than the desire to peak. In the back of his mind he knew he should be grateful these men had done this a good few times with many other young Jotuns and so were not affected by his moaning and writhing, but it was easier to be angry, even as he tried his best to press down on the fingers almost invading his body.

It was good, so good, so much better than when he had done it to himself. He stared up at the Jotun with hazy eyes, and saw him watching back. The Jotun had no expression and didn’t move a muscle no matter how much Loki pulled and jerked, he was like an ice pillar. The Jotun between his legs must have been having a slightly harder time as his legs kicked and he bucked, the room filled with his wet scent and pitiful mewling. He sounded like an animal and he felt like one too, and in the heat of the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. If the Jotun pulled out his cock at that moment Loki was ashamed knowing he’d have only spread his legs wider. 

But it was natural, it was just how Jotuns were and now Loki would have to share this vulnerable part of himself with the strangers from Asgard and Álfheimr. They knew nothing of Jotun mating and if they knew they could get Loki to this state with merely a few smart touches, chances were they were going to exploit it. Jotuns were naturally libidinous and as such created many children in their life time through mating as it was an equal act that was shared and enjoyed. 

But Asgard and Álfheimr, much like Vanaheimr, did not honour the strong sentiments of _mating_ , separating the idea into marriage, then fucking. And if the princes learnt to manipulate his body, he would turn into their whore no matter his thoughts on the topic. He could swear them blind and swing his fists but if they got a good grip on his neck and bent him over he’d only end up pressing back against them, his body detached from his mind. Which was why most of Jötunheimr was right in their opposition to an inter realm marriage—they would suffer humiliation through the misunderstanding and perversion of the other realms through Loki. Should news spread Queen Loki enjoying being mounted all day and night the other realms would jump at the chance to tease and taunt, ignoring the reasonable explanations from Jötunheimr. It wasn’t their fault, and it was a weakness kept well away from the other realms. Loki almost forgot that was a main reason why Frostfemme were protected so, being more vulnerable in that kind of warfare.

The test didn’t last long and before he could grow desperate he climaxed, arching into the deliciously clenched fist and crying out in pleasure as his seed roped onto the Jotun’s hand. All his struggling ceased and he laid limp as he was cleaned up, and tried to stop from panting.

When he could stand on his own he was dressed again and escorted back to his room without a word. It wasn’t the first time he had had a sexual encounter, but it was the first time to that degree. The first and last time was quite a few years ago when he first learnt about desire and the natural need to mate. As usual the new topic fascinated him and through his researching and experimenting caught the eye of a young guard who Loki thought was safest to make eyes at in his foolish reasoning. Many of the guard he’d grown up around and they’d surely tell his father, but this Jotun was unknown and his broad shoulders and big hands made Loki shiver and long. Quickly, through both their youthful lusting, they ended up a grinding mess. The Jotun had been good with his hands even through the fabric separating them and stroked Loki perfectly, bending him over a table and rutted shamelessly behind him against his firm rear through their loincloths. There was no penetration but if Thrym hadn’t walked in on them, Loki knew he would have been pounded into the ice not long after. Then further more when his father got hold of him.

That had been the first time he felt the effects of mating with another and now again. Self pleasure didn’t bring that kind of need, and Loki had tried many forms of self pleasure to know.

He was glad to be alone again and covered himself in thick furs, wishing to disappear in them. This contest would have a winner, and the winner would be his mate. And mates mated, it was expected. How could he mate a man who wasn’t a Jotun? Yes they were the same anatomically, more or less, but what if they laughed at him? Or sneered at him? Or even enjoyed it and lusted for him? This was an incredibly exposing manner. He was going to have to bed the victor, and for the rest of his life.

What if Thor won? _The_ Thor, who had come so many times to Jötunheimr over the years with petty trouble and arrogance. Thor, Odin’s son, who was a great stupid oaf, who was yet infuriatingly charming and handsome, so they said. He was a feared warrior and one of the best in the realms, but he was smug and arrogant, and he most certainly had a penis. And that penis could become a common factor in Loki’s li- …in Loki’s _everything_. Could he lie down for Thor? Could he physically lie back and let the Odinson mate him without a fight? Laufey must have thought it possible or he would have surely raised it as a problem. Loki didn’t feel as optimistic.

Now that he was deemed fertile, it reminded him of another chilling factor—babies. Babies were expected if he was being tested for fertility. He would have to bear children for the strangers, he would have to become a birther, a mother, a dam. Was he ready for that? Gods he still put ice thorns in Thrym’s seats for Norns’ sake, he wasn’t ready to look after a child. He still felt like a child himself when his heart wasn’t so heavy.

Children meant no more time to yourself. He'd be forced to be mature, calm and wise. No more playing with magic, no more running and racing, no more sparring, no more getting drunk, no more shirking duties. He would have to sit and be elegant, always ready with open arms to tend to the children, making their injuries better, feeding them, cleaning them, loving them, and changing his choices on what is best for _them_.

And that was without mentioning the duties to his husband. Pretending he cares about his well being when he would rather he died, admiring his strength and appeal, supporting his choices and decisions, taking his side against all others and being loyal even if it hurt, and keeping him satisfied and pleased in ways not to be spoken of at the dinner table. 

Marriage would be the end of _him_.

After his fertility test, which left him feeling wobbly and flushed, he enjoyed a short hour alone in his bed before his father entered the room.

With moody eyes Loki watched him approach. “What do you want?” he asked grumpily.

Laufey regarded him quietly, acknowledging the reluctance burning in those pretty eyes. He sat down slowly at the end of the bed, and patted the lump that was Loki's legs. “Be calm, Loki. We must speak, and I need you to listen.”

“Don’t I always.” Loki retorted, but Laufey didn't bite back. He had an odd patient look in his eyes and Loki narrowed his own. “Have you reached a decision?” he asked, impatiently. 

It had been four days of meetings, debating, and arguing. The meetings were a secret though, and while secrets usually slipped out and found their way around, the contents of these meetings were still a mystery. He didn't want the answer though.

Everyone knew the elders and members of the royal court where discussing how to handle this unique situation of having two foreign realms appealing for a marriage. Jötunheimr had so many traditions and practises, many of which were blatantly ignored or sometimes overused when the majority felt like it that Loki didn't know what to expect. Maybe the princes would have to face a wild beast on their own. Or maybe they would just have to fight one another, maybe to near death, to decide who gets him. Maybe the victor would be so badly hurt consummation would have to wait a while. ...Longer if Loki could slyly aggravate his injuries when no one was looking.

Petting the lump, Laufey nodded slowly. “Yes, I have. It wasn't easy to come to this choice, but there was too much to take into account to make it simple. My brothers and the elders sorted through many of the past marriages of our ancestors, but unfortunately this situation is...unique, bringing in the dual foreign aspect. But we've reached a decision, and if Odin and Balor turn it down then we will know they did not truly want this. If they have true respect for us, they will understand.”

Loki had gone still and quiet now, wondering just what horrors the princes would have to get through to have him. Maybe his father finally saw to pity him. Maybe the tests would be too hard? Maybe-

“In the first test they shall each face our selected warriors. Those Jotun that made it to the final rounds in the last competition shall fight the princes in your honour.”

That was good, Loki thought, those warriors were definitely powerful and anyone in their right mind would know to fear them. It made Loki feel a little better as he might have a chance to escape the princes now. Any chance was better than nothing.

“For the second trial, if they pass, they will face you.”

Loki blinked in surprise. Laufey gave him a look that clearly asked “Are you happy now?”, and gave a smile. “There will be stricter rules for that, don't worry, they will not be allowed to gravely harm you. Such tests have been done before.” Laufey paused, glad for the extra attention from Loki now that he heard he'd have a chance to fight for himself, and gave a sigh. “As for the final test, Thor and Nuada shall face one another.”

“Three tests?” Loki parroted, trying to weigh his odds.

“Three tests, _if_ they make it all the way. If they lose to either our warriors or to you then they will lose the battle altogether and the other is who you shall marry. But if they both triumph the first two trials, they will then face one another.”

Well, it was a decent enough trial, Loki had to admit. Jötunheimr had good warriors and no doubt they'd be fighting sweat, blood and tears to eliminate the foreign competition—everyone wanted him for themselves. And humiliatingly enough, so did he. It gave Loki some hope, and there were also his own battles to get through. If he gave it his best, he could knock them out the contest himself if Jötunheimr’s warriors couldn't.

Eventually, after a long silent moment of internal musings, and Laufey’s apparent patience, Loki shifted beneath the heaps of fur. “…That is reasonable.” he mumbled.

“Yes. And I am sure you’re going to poison the air if you can for your matches. That test is just to prove they can protect you. A weaker mate to a Frostfemme is no mate at all.”

“Isn’t Thor at an advantage with Mjölnir?”

“He is unfocused and fuelled by juvenile emotion. One smirk and he’ll lose concentration. A weapon is only as good as its wielder.”

And yet Laufey would risk that unfocused emotion near his son? Loki's heart clenched. “I suppose.”

As if sensing his drop in mood Laufey petted him again, comfortingly. “But no, Mjölnir will not be allowed in the tests. It would be highly unfair. Any fool could win with that thing... There is one little twist though. Keep an open mind, and if you dare storm out I will chain you to the throne when Asgard and Álfheimr return.”

Suddenly Loki’s blood ran cold, quickly after Laufey’s tone did. The hand petting him pressed down as if to hold him there, and Laufey had on one of his faces where he was trying to be a fatherly king. It was never a good combination. This wasn't going to be good. How much worse could it get? Especially seeing as Laufey knew how Loki felt on the topic. Loki grimaced lightly, but gave the prompt. “…What is the twist?”

“We will be handling the final outcome with Jotun customs. If both Thor and Nuada make it to face each other in the third test they will then be competing for the first night, not your marriage.”

It took a few long moments of staring and breathing before his heart accepted the words once his brain processed them, and even then the truth was too far fetched to register.

“…First night.” he repeated softly, his stomach clenching in dread. Laufey looked as if he was waiting for something, but thankfully pulled back his hand, lifting his head in a kingly manner. 

“Yes, Loki. I wish for nature and fate to decide who ultimately wins your hand. The winner of the third match will lie with you first, having earned the upper hand at sealing a match, and the runner up will have the second night, and thus it will continue until-”

“ _Father_!” Loki screeched and jumped to his feet, throwing furs aside. He couldn't sit there and listen to _that_! He was no beast to be _bred_ -!

Laufey was on his feet the very next second, and towered over Loki with a hard expression, ignoring the array of trembling emotions flashing across his son's face. “Be silent! I do not wish to start war. This is how mates are chosen for royalty when our warriors are equal in strength. What is the use of marrying—especially a foreign marriage—if a child cannot be made? Odin and Balor will recognise this, it is a long practised custom of ours and if they don't like it they can leave. And by the gods Loki Laufeyson you will honour it.”

Anxiety and anger welled up inside Loki like an infestation, fighting a vicious battle, but all he could do was pant and clenched his fists, or the fear and defeat would take him under. Tears brimmed over without his permission and trickled down his cheeks where they froze, and he wiped them away angrily and backed away from his father. Laufey looked sorry, surprisingly, but sorry wouldn't change his decision.

“…I would prefer Asgard honestly, but I don’t trust Odin, and Balor came with nothing but sincerity. Thus I shall give them equal footing. Whoever lays you with child is deserving of having you. A child is not an instant gift, the first days could be fruitless, but the winner shall receive a night in their favour. You will do this Loki, or I will show you how Frostfemme were handled in my father’s day, and you will be grateful for the freedom I’ve gifted you with allowing you to grow this attitude.”

It wasn’t an empty threat. Though treasures, Frostfemme were seen as possessions in the older days, and the tradition still simmered below the surface of today. Loki had read of these traditions and practices but they weren't hadn't been used for such a long time, Loki didn't think he'd ever have to go through it. While he knew he'd have to accept the very real possibility of becoming an Asgardian or Álfheimr queen, he hadn't thought Laufey would pull out such an age old tradition. And as horrible as it was for him, there was no denying its logic for the bigger picture. 

He didn't know what to say, but Laufey was waiting patiently for him to speak. And what could he say? If he refused he had little doubt his father wouldn't make good on his promise and chain him to the throne. This was not an inside quarrel he could argue against, this was not a bunch of warriors throwing their weight around to prove they were the best man for him, this was not something that his opinion had a sway on—this was now inter realm politics, and he had no say.

“…Yes, Father.” he choked, almost huddled now into the corner of his room, furthest from Laufey. His hands drew to his stomach in a shaking mass of fingers and he stared, wide eyed, as the information sunk in.

“Good. I had the healer access you to make sure there is nothing Asgard or Álfheimr can hold against us. You’re in good condition for childbearing and so it lies in their hands. But of course if you are highly opposed to either, make sure to expel them out of the match yourself if our warriors can’t.” With that Laufey backed off slowly towards the door.

Oh, he would give it his best. “...I will be sure to do that.” Loki breathed.

“Now go eat something, the plumper you are the faster you’ll conceive. Your mother was proof of that.”

“Yes Father.”

When he was alone once more, Loki slowly slid down to the floor and hugged his knees, burying his face in them. He took in a shuddered breath and choked, despite trying his best to stay calm. He failed and tears flooded down his cheeks, compensating for the sobs that were too defeated to make an appearance. What good would sobbing do other than give him a headache and make everyone smug? It would not change his father's choice.

 _The first night_.

The implications alone threatened to send him vomiting on the floor and collapsing into it.

 _They were competing for the first night of consummation_.

He would be alone in this, he realised. This was not something his father saw as a danger to protect him from, this was not something Thrym could stall or hide him from. This was a public duty, this was Jötunheimr’s latest news, this was a inter realm competition. This was his marriage steps. This was for his father. He was alone in this. There would be no one to help him.

But if there was no one to help him, he had to help himself. He had to... he had...-no…

No. No, he didn't have to do anything. He would beat the princes in battle and they'd be sent away, then that was one dilemma down. Or the Jotun warriors would do it for him. But of course, that wasn't a guarantee. If he lost, and they both made it to the last round, he'd have to lay with them both until he fell pregnant, and who knows how long that would take. And once he was pregnant, he'd be given over as a bride, as a bargain for Jötunheimr. 

_Or_ if he was lucky, Asgard and Álfheimr would turn down the offer. They might not be willing to accept a queen who has been mated by another. Asgard and Vanaheimr were especially strict about that, their queens were assured pure until marriage and then only to lie with their husbands. It wasn't so on Jötunheimr, as their history showed, but it was only done in tough places, like this one. Yes, perhaps it will be too scandalous and they'd leave...

But, maybe one prince would beat the other and he'd only have to marry him, and not mate with both. Loki knew little of the Elf prince, but it was more likely that big bad Thor won anyway. Could he be that fool's bride? Could he sit besides Thor and let him touch him, let him dictate his life, let him have him as his own? He didn't want to, but there was no stopping the plans being set, it was too deep already. 

But he could dictate what _he_ did, and he would just have to beat Thor in his own battle. 

…Though as nice as that thought was, it was highly optimistic thinking. Their battle techniques were very different and Thor was powerful even without Mjölnir… Loki needed to fight with what he most possessed—his mind. It was a given he'd have to face these men and expect a victor, possibly two, but the outcome depended on whose seed he took to faster for a marriage of this kind without children was useless. It was-

Children. 

Children would decide the suitor.

He didn't want a suitor.

So…what if… _no_ children…

This whole test now depended on who laid him with child, assuming the princes were of equal skill. But if they couldn't impregnate him, his marriage to them would be worthless. Just like his father said, _“What is the use of marrying—especially a foreign marriage—if a child cannot be made?”_ That was _it_! No babies meant no marriage. No babies meant they'd have to decline. No babies meant a union would be fruitless! If he could prevent pregnancy, he wouldn't have to marry either of them. And for once, this was something about the situation he could control!

Loki laughed loudly to himself as he got up from the floor, still shaking, and paced around his room as he worked out the new plan. It was flawed of course but at least it was _something_. He couldn't stop the mating, he'd _have_ to be bed, but at least he could prevent a result and be free afterwards! He'd handle the Jotun warriors when the time came, he had to focus on this now.

Mating for a few days with the victor was bearable, he could do it. Just don't think and let the bastard have his way. He could do it. Maybe get drunk first, surely there'd be drink going around. Yes, he could handle that, he could handle that for freedom. A few nights for freedom. He _had_ to. He was strong enough, wasn’t he?

His hope soared with new determination, perhaps foolish determination, and Loki slipped away into the corridors to the library in search of a specific section of potion magic.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Nuada loved to train. He wasn't getting any younger and while he also enjoyed fine arts, combat training was his favourite and imperative thing to do. It kept him fit and unbeaten in his land. Being vulnerable was not an option and he enjoyed being able to move about like a shadow in the shade and face opponents three times his size with little effort. Travelling the realms and learning of different cultures brought knowledge and after adapting multiple combat styles to suit his own style, he was unrivalled.

Though he didn't need to train at the moment, he needed to keep his body and mind focused. Awaiting Jötunheimr's next letter was less painful than the first time seeing as they were guaranteed a chance to compete for Loki, but he couldn't help feeling a little impatient, and perhaps a little paranoid that Thor would corner Loki and force upon him a union. If he (Norns forbid) forced himself onto Loki it would ruin the whole thing, Laufey would force Asgard to take Loki as an apology and remedy for despoiling him. And Nuada had little doubt Odin wasn't above ordering such a thing, even if Thor didn't seem to want a union as much as his father did. He still couldn't believe Odin forced Asgard between him and Jötunheimr. It was a completely ridiculous and spiteful thing to do, it made him so mad!

Every time his thoughts wandered they ended up back at that same point, so he shook them off and trained harder to distract himself, but it sat at the back of his mind, weighing on his heart.

As for the contest for Loki, he imagined a physical task to be put forth and maybe even a series of questions to evaluate his decisions and if they were good enough to be allowed around Loki and Jötunheimr. After all Laufey couldn't just drop Loki in anyone's hands, king or not. Odin's choices were making Nuada wonder just how in Helheim Queen Frigga put up with him. He would like to think Laufey would be strict on the man he gave his child to. He hoped for difficult tests, it would only prove his worth, weed out the Asgardian dolt and give Loki peace of mind. 

And Loki looked like he needed a lot of peace for his mind.

That had been his first meeting with Thor Odinson and Odin Allfather. Thor was as he had expected from the talk of the realms—he was a big child. You could see it in the way he carried himself, the way he hung about, the way he glared around as if doing so would save him from the situation, the way he glanced at Loki with barely concealed reluctance. He was not equipped to be entered into such a match and Loki would suffer for it should Thor win. 

Which he wouldn't.

And what of poor Loki? Nuada was not a fool, he knew he wouldn't be easily welcomed by Loki any more than Thor, but it would have been so much simpler if Asgard had never intruded. He'd be making regular visits to Jötunheimr to court Loki, and prove his worth and list his offerings to Laufey. He'd handle Laufey first, he'd be professional and mature and make the king happy, then approach Loki and try to steal his heart, and if not, try for his trust first. He hadn't found out much about Laufey's Frostfemme prince other than he was smart, pretty, and a hellion when he wanted to be. It wasn't a very deep explanation but he could work with it. He hadn't expected to be welcomed by such a person especially as he was asking for marriage, but he had planned to try patiently.

But now, Asgard stuck Thor's big nose into his tender hopes and he was forced to watch Thor stare Loki into a shaking mess. Loki would never trust him this way. While he could hope he was seen as the better man in Loki's eyes, it was more likely Loki rejected them both through fear and being overwhelmed. There was certainly a hellion inside that pretty form called Loki, and Nuada would have to try hard to get passed him.

Nuada scowled—this was unfair. He was not a man to complain about life being unfair for that was what life was about, going through problems and learning how to handle them, but why would Asgard step forth _now_ to appeal for Loki right after Balor did for him? It felt like a personal attack, but he knew neither Thor nor Odin personally and Balor insisted it was nothing but political rivalry—which Nuada thought the realms had moved on from, but apparently not. Odin was being ridiculous by forcing Asgard into this matter, there was no _heart_ in their quest, and already it was turning ugly. 

Nuada sighed, and stopped in the middle of his training. He was only making himself angrier with a weapon in his hand. All his thoughts led back to Asgard and their interference. He gave up his training and left to clean off the sweat and dirt, then wandered to his father out of habit's sake. There was still much wisdom in his father that he could benefit from and he could do with a little more of it to help him resist making a personal vendetta against Thor and Odin for intruding in his appeal. 

Balor was sitting quietly in a soft armchair near the balcony when Nuada entered his chambers. He walked up casually to his father, trying not to show that he was angry, but his sharp eyes quickly found the note placed on the small table besides his father's tea cup.

He moved forward a little faster, hoping for good news. “Father? Word from Jötunheimr?”

“Yes.” Balor said, and looked up with a tired expression. It was not a face Balor usually gave to him, there was something wrong.

“What is it? They have not declined have they?”

“No, they have not. But it seems Laufey will handle this with his own customs… I see now why Odin offered a bride price.” Balor sighed, regret light in his tone. Nuada resisted grabbing the note and reading through it on his own. It must have taken his father some effort to read it with his fraying eyes.

“Go on?” he said, evenly, though the anger was simmering in his blood, waiting for a reason to boil.

Balor shook his head, but he didn't look as if he had the will to fight what was bothering him. It was acceptance on his face. “Laufey has decided on the trials.”

Nuada nodded curtly. “Good. Did he explain them?”

“Yes. In the first test you and Thor shall each face three of Jötunheimr’s best warriors. If you both win, you both proceed to the second task. If one of you fails, the other shall win Loki.”

Again Nuada nodded. “Excellent. The second?”

Balor sighed before he spoke, looking flat and drawn out. “The second test will include Loki. You will each face Loki. Again, if you both win, you will both proceed to the final test.”

“Can I safely assume the final test shall see Thor and I battle?”

“Yes.”

 _Good_ , Nuada thought, he needed to beat some of his anger into Odin through Thor.

But Balor did not look as sure about this matter as he usually did, and it was easy to pick up on. Nuada shifted closer, steeled himself, and gave an inquiring shrug. “What is it that is bothering you, Father?”

The old king sighed, and gave Nuada a long, tired look. “If you and Thor both pass the tests and make it to face each other in the third test, it will not be for Loki’s marriage. It will be instead for a greater chance at giving him a child, which will decide who wins the marriage.”

Nuada stared blankly for a long moment. “…What?” 

“King Laufey has dec-”

“-He must conceive before marriage?” Nuada blurted angrily, his face flushing with rage and humiliation. This was _completely_ unfair!

“It is a Jotun belief that if a warrior cannot win his intended in battle because of an equal opponent it shall be decided through which seed the intended takes to.” Balor explained helplessly, but with a sense of acceptance and acknowledgement that made Nuada feel defeated against the situation.

“But-! Loki will have to bed us both?” How was this right? Fine, it was a Jotun custom, but he didn’t want to share his potential queen with another, with _Thor_. Though it wasn’t a strict condition in Álfheimr, queens were supposed to be pure on their consummation night, it was only decent. He didn’t at all cherish the thought of Loki having to lay with Thor as well—then again, he could imagine Loki didn’t cherish it either. 

“I am afraid so. Victor wins his purity and first chance at a child.”

“Are they allowed to do this with foreign delegates? What of our customs?”

“It is we who ask for their match, we must do as they say. But Laufey was thoughtful. In Jotun instances the victors mate the intended together in one night and one bed, giving a very equal chance to each man.”

Nuada did a double take in shock—he had not known _this_. “Together? At _once_?” Images of having to sit back and watch Thor take Loki right in front of him nearly sent him panting in dread. There was no chance he could mate Loki with Thor in the room, it was such a delicate process that would require Loki’s wavering trust and dubious permission, and with Thor breathing down their necks it would be non existent. 

Balor linked his fingers in his lap and gave Nuada an apologetic look. “It is their way, we cannot judge. At least Laufey spared you and Thor that test, you will each have your own nights. Don’t despair my son, I do not believe that is a battle Thor will win. Like his father he has disgust for Jotuns, he will not handle Loki properly. Jotuns must experience the peak to produce offspring, and Thor isn’t a gentle man. He sees the Jotuns as resilient beasts. He will treat Loki as such and forget that such treatment will be fruitless to the purpose of the mating.”

Nuada groaned. He had seen the reluctance written all over Loki on his and Thor's visit to Jötunheimr, and surely this would only sour his attitude on the topic. He was sure he could have courted Loki properly and slowly so that Loki was genuinely receptive, but now? Now it was ruined and he'd have to settle with primal means of claiming Loki instead of romantic gestures and shows of strength and worth. Jotuns may have different customs but Loki was young and most certainly reluctant and such had to be handled carefully and with patient steps. They were strangers to him, they had to be thoughtful—and Nuada knew, regretfully, Thor would not be thinking the same. He dreaded Loki having to mate with Thor; it was a recipe for disaster.

And what of the result? Nuada hadn't thought much on the topic of the timing of an heir, he figured if Loki conceived on their marriage night it would be a good sign and a blessing, and he would no doubt be ecstatic, but if not then he'd wait until Loki decided to lie with him again by choice and let his body take its time on catching. Things happened when they were made to. But now their entire fate landed on who impregnated Loki. 

The thought of Thor putting Loki with child made him incredibly concerned, then angry. What did Asgard know of Jotun young, or pregnant Jotuns for that matter? Loki would be neglected and completely misunderstood. He'd be forced to go to Asgard and swell until he birthed, among strangers and their ignorance, as well as reluctance. While they had their healers that could learn Jotun health, Thor's attention to Loki would be what mattered most, whether any of them wanted to admit it. He'd be the father, he'd be the husband, and if he didn't make Loki feel comfortable and safe Loki could fret and very easily die of stress and anxiety. And there was little hope Thor would be welcoming and kind to Loki, he'd more likely be stiff and impersonal. This was insane. Marriage was one thing, but a half breed child too? Thor Odinson would not last a month after taking Loki home. 

Gods Nuada wanted to break something. 

“…I cannot imagine Loki will be happy with this. He didn’t look quite comfortable upon our visit. And that buffoon wasn’t helping with his staring.”

“Loki is still terribly young but I saw the fire in his eyes. He will make this difficult for both you and Thor, but this is where you will truly triumph son. You are learned and patient, Thor is not.”

His thoughts exactly. “Indeed, you are right. I will have to be vigilant.”

“May you triumph, my son.”

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

“You really should you know,” Fandral continued, prattling on despite that Thor was only half listening, much more interested in helping Sif build her upper-arm strength. “There is this cute young lad that works at the stables. Even Sif could bend him over and have him.”

“Fandral, shut up,” Sif said, evenly, as she huffed and puffed between words. Her face was strung seriously, her feet parted a shoulder length apart, and her back hunched just slightly. She lifted the weight a little higher, snorting through her nose and bracing herself before she lifted it once more. Thor stood in front of her in a similar position, ready to catch the weight should she drop it on either of their toes, and possibly through the very floor. It was barely a weight for him, and while Sif was stronger and more skilled than all the women in Asgard, she had a long way to go if she wanted to rival the men in brute strength.

Frigga and Odin had always teased Sif and Thor about being a perfect couple to take the throne of Asgard next, but Thor knew the type of woman a queen should be, and it was not Sif. Sif had never shown much interest in it anyway for him to even _try_ develop feelings for her. They were content as they were, and thankfully Odin let them be. ...Only now Thor was left wondering if having Sif for ever would be less painful than having _Loki_. He still couldn't believe his father, and neither could Asgard. The people were expectedly in heated talks about the sudden merger developments with Jötunheimr, but with no fears of war they couldn't protest much. Odin looked confident and the realm trusted his judgment, and they were in awe and admired Thor for his sacrifice. After all, no one wanted to marry a frost giant, Thor was being extremely self sacrificing for the realms!

Except maybe Fandral, but his could be limited down to just sex.

“Well you don't want to go there and make an idiot of yourself. Loki will expect you to know what to do with him. You can't go to his bed and ask ' _What now_?'.” Fandral continued, combing his hair in the reflection of his sword that was propped up between his thighs. They were in Thor's private training quarters where they wouldn't be disturbed, unless it were someone of high importance, or the rest of the Warrior's Three. “You ought to practice, my friend. Plan.”

“I _plan_ to think on it as little as possible until it comes.” Thor muttered, nodding encouragingly to Sif who lowered the weight slowly until it reached the floor with a loud _CLANG_. She groaned and straightened up, flashing Thor a smile that he returned brightly. 

“As well as that strategy has given us glorious battles in war, I wouldn't suggest it for this.” Fandral said, fussing over which way his hair parted.

“Clearly you're the expert on Jotun procreation.” Sif threw at him, allowing Thor to push her down to sit on the weight so he could squeeze the tension out of her shoulders. “Honestly, we should have the mages disguise you as Thor and- _Ooh_! That was loud crack.” Thor kneaded her neck a little harder, aiming for the proper muscles and tendons.

“You need to visit the masseuse more often, Sif.” he scolded.

“Am I the only one concerned about Thor's marriage?” Fandral asked loudly.

“I am not married yet.” Thor shot, looking up to glare at Fandral, “Who knows, the Elf might win whatever tests are put forth.”

Fandral snorted. “High unlikely. You'd never purposely lose to a Jotun _or_ an Elf, imagine your reputation!”

“Imagine the rest of his life,” Sif argued, patting Thor's hands away as she got up, grabbing a cloth to wipe at her face. “Would it truly be better to win? For the sake of a reputation?”

“A man's reputation is important.”

“Thor is already a prince-”

“Which makes it worse! He can't go and lose! Thor, trust me-”

Sif made a sound of disbelief and shook her head at Thor, but Thor was a second behind, snorting at their blond friend.

“What's the joke?”

The trio straightened dramatically as if they were children caught misbehaving and smiled fleetingly at Frigga's appearance. She smirked and raised a brow at the odd atmosphere, “Did I interrupt something?”

“Not at all, my queen.” Sif said, and gave a warm smile to Thor who grinning stupidly in a way that usually got him out of trouble.

“Good, because your father is calling you.” Frigga gave Thor a pointed look, and Thor felt his shoulders and grin slump. 

“Is it Jötunheimr?” he asked, reluctantly. Sif shot Fandral a look that told him to keep silent, and look the other way altogether.

Frigga sighed a hum and turned, “Come on, we'll see what the new plans are. Heimdall just delivered us a letter from Jötunheimr.”

Thor groaned openly, but didn't bother to argue. Sif tried her best to smile encouragingly, at both Thor and Frigga, and Fandral managed to pat—though it was much more of a swat—Thor on the arm as he walked by.

“Sif, do watch yourself,” Frigga called before she exited with Thor, glancing at the heavy and dangerous training objects around the room. She did not think Sif fragile, no one did, but she knew of Sif's need to prove herself and it was worrisome. Sif smiled, knowing Frigga's kind heart, and gave a reassuring wink, and promptly kicked Fandral off his seat for offering to carry her to the wash room.

Striding down the hall, a little too fast, Thor tried to keep calm, and mostly blank. He had a feeling his father got sadistic thrills out of watching him squirm, and he didn't want to give him the satisfaction anymore. He was most glad when Loki had disappeared in their last visit to Jötunheimr or Odin might have forced him to approach Loki, and only the Norns knew how awkward it would have been.

“Thor,” Frigga said as she caught up, making Thor feel guilty for his long strides, but some part of him just wanted to get it over and done with. “I would suggest preparing yourself.”

“Oh gods,” he groaned, and the push in his steps faltered. “What is it? You read the letter already?”

“Well we couldn't very well _all_ react out of instinct could we,” she quipped, but slinked her arm in his and squeezed comfortingly. “You can do this.”

“I wish I shared your confidence.”

“And I wish your father had the capability to hear and understand you say that.”

They entered into Odin's chambers, where Odin was standing by the balcony that overlooked Asgard's proud city. Frigga released Thor and shut the door, and strayed behind Thor slightly who approached his father.

“And?” he asked, directly. There was no need for stalling or pleasantries. 

Odin seemed to share the sentiment and turned to him with a thoughtful hum. “A contest will be held in two days time. Three trials.”

“Need I train in anything specific?” Thor asked, coldly. 

“No, you are already trained enough.”

It was then silent and still, save for the piercing stare of Odin's one eye. It bore into Thor and despite his attempts, he rattled and sighed loudly. “And what are the trials?”

“Laufey did not complicate it more than necessary, but he didn't fail to make sure we conform to his rules either. It's simple enough. In the first trial you and Nuada will each face your own battles against Jötunheimr’s warriors.”

“That shouldn't be difficult.” Frigga commented, in hopes of cheering up Thor.

“Aye,” Thor murmured for her sake, staring at his father with a glint in his eyes that said _continue_.

Odin did. “If either of you fail, the other will marry Loki. If you both pass into the second trial, you will each have a chance at facing Loki himself.”

Thor frowned on his own accord and gave his father an incredulous look. “Face _Loki_? You don't battle the bride, what kind of trial is that?” How could you face a woman in battle if you were to marry her? It was a ridiculous thought, even he knew that wasn't right. Besides Sif, or a trained warrior, he'd never lift a hand to a maiden, even if for sport. Sif could break his jaw as well as any man, but a maiden-

“Loki is a mage and warrior, Thor.” Odin grunted, as if reading his thoughts, “It is a Jotun custom that a Frostfemme bride is to face his suitors in battle if-”

“It sounds stupid. He could get hurt and the blame will fall on-”

“There will be rules of engagement and many people on guard to intervene if an accident happens. You hold back when sparring with Sif, and regrettably half our guard, so you can extend the same to Loki.”

“Extending slack to a Jotun is not my strong point, Father.”

Odin made a sound that told Thor to shut up. He stepped down from the balcony in an irritated manner. “This _Jotun_ could very well become your wife. You will face him to prove you are man enough to have him, and in connection, strong enough to control as well as protect him. Loki possesses enough strength to defend himself and possibly kill you, so while I ask you not to harm him, you must be serious and focused for he will be doubly so.”

Loki hadn't seemed that big a threat, Thor was glad for the visible size difference, but his father was right too. It took one unfocused move and Loki could strike him with a lethal blow, and if he were a mage, more so. Great, another witch with magic, Amora would forever haunt him.

“It's just a show of strength and worth on your part,” Frigga said softly, coming up to stand besides Thor, “And a show of pride on Loki's.”

“If either of you fall to Loki, the other wins his hand.” Odin continued, holding Thor in a hard gaze even Frigga was hesitant to step into. “The third test shall see you face Nuada, should you both win the second trial.”

“And what do we know of the Elf?” Thor asked, grumpily.

“Very little. But Heimdall has informed me that he is not to be underestimated.”

“So I win the matches and win Loki. Will you then be pleased?” Thor asked, tiredly, as well as sarcastically.

But Odin didn't take the bait and made a peculiar noise, and Thor just managed to notice Frigga glance away from them. Immediately the silence rang odd and Thor looked between them. “What?”

“If you do not win the contest by the second match, you will then be competing in the third test for another victory, not Loki's hand.”

Thor blinked a few times, confused, but he didn’t know if this was good or bad as Frigga stepped closer to rub the back of his arms. “What is the victory?”

“If you and Nuada both make it to the third trial you will be striving for the first night upon which you'll lie with Loki, and try to conceive a child.”

Thor might have died at that moment, and he might have taken Frigga with him had he fallen on her, but the fates weren't kind enough. He stared at Odin with growing horror, until finally he choked on his held breath.

“A child?” he said, sounding as though he'd forgotten the routine of breathing.

“Laufey doesn't want to be the blame for choosing a side, and like I feared he's invoking an old tradition where first to conceive a child with the bride wins his hand. Why else do you think I tried to offer a bride price for Loki's chastity.”

Well definitely not to counter _that_ , Thor thought he was just trying to kiss Laufey’s arse. Behind him Frigga was furiously rubbing his arms to comfort him, but the shock was overwhelming the anger and horror.

“What if no child is made?” he asked softly. _Child_ , it felt so foreign on his own childish tongue.

“Nuada has his chance the second night. Then you have the third, he has the fourth, and so on for a few days until Loki is searched by the healers and it is determined that he is pregnant, and if so, they'll find out whose and _then_ we will know who gets the union.”

“...Father this is madness.” Thor said, in disbelief, and wondered just how much he could despise his father in such a short amount of time. “This-”

“Is my decision,” Odin finished, his face hard. “I am not asking you to woo him. I am asking you to impregnate him. I do not doubt your abilities in that department if Fandral's drunken tales have anything to go by.”

“This is different.” Thor hissed, pulling away from Frigga to hunch his shoulders at his father. “ _He_ is different. I can't just see him as a wife-”

“You can once you actually start _trying_. Now go think on this as a king, Thor.” Odin dismissed him and turned away, trying his best not to allow Thor to see his own worry. If Thor so much as sniffed his own hesitance he'd never stop hounding for a release, but Odin could not grant it to him.

Thor seemed to know it and turned away in a huff, avoiding Frigga's concern and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Thankfully Fandral and Sif weren't hiding in the shadows waiting to jump out and question him, so he kept walking, subconsciously guiding himself to the quieter parts of the palace so he could be alone. 

It was one thing to imagine Prince Loki as his wife, and another to imagine consummation, but now there was no chance to just _get it over with_. Maybe Fandral was right, maybe he should make some effort to make peace with this situation of bedding a Jotun. He didn't know what Loki thought of bedding an Aesir, and he honestly didn’t know if he wished Loki to feel as opposed as he, or eager. His mother had many times told him the Jotun were just misunderstood people because they were so different to them, but it was much easier and appealing to look down upon them with arrogance and childish opposition. It was hard to just change now. His maybe-bride was a blue-skinned red-eyed savage from Jötunheimr.

And they had to make a baby. It sounded like some horrid ancient ritual, and now that he thought of it, he had hoped in the back of his mind that he wouldn't have to make heirs for a long time to come. It would be enough getting used to Loki, but bringing him straight to Asgard pregnant felt like it would somehow double the stress and reluctance Thor already had. What in the realms would their child look like? There were many old tales of interbreeding but he'd never bothered to read them, he'd never bothered to read anything much. And a pregnant Jotun? Imagining Sif pregnant was scary enough, but Loki? It was surreal.

These were not the thoughts of a king, but what Odin was asking from him was near asinine, and usually he was very optimistic about things. Like Sif said, what if Loki tried to slay him in his sleep? What if Loki tried to put a spell on him and control Asgard through him for Laufey? What if Loki despised him in equal measure? What if Loki fought him on consummation night? What if he had to tame Loki before he could be a proper mother and wife? _Could_ Loki be tamed, in the ways akin to Asgard? Although, he seemed tamed enough…maybe the Jotun could be civil when they wanted. Loki hadn't seemed at much agreement with his father though, even Thor could see that, but that didn't mean good news for him.

In his troubled thoughts he didn't given Nuada a second thought, forgetting him in the fear of what his life would entail with Jötunheimr’s little prince in it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support, it’s truly inspiring!


	5. Trial One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first of three trials. Thor and Nuada prove they have what it takes to gain a Jotun Bride.
> 
> Said Jotun bride couldn't disagree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, hey guys, bare chests guys, sweat and testosterone guys  
>   
> what more could you need

**Chapter 5: Trial One**

A week after the first official meeting with Asgard and Álfheimr, the foreigners returned for the very first test of the contest. The event was much grander this time, Loki was utterly surprised to know they even had visitors from neighbouring realms coming in to witness the event. The last contest for his hand among the Jotun warriors did not attract _any_ foreign attention. He had gotten so lost in his planning and brooding that he failed to take note of what was happening around him. Apparently word had spread across the realms and many people were dying to watch Laufey and Odin sitting in one room and being civil, while their sons competed for the mysterious prince of Laufey. Loki could understand the sadistic appeal.

The families of the royal princes were attending as well this time, so to meet and mingle with their possible family additions. Loki, now a little more hopeful with his plan, scoffed at the idea of Asgardians having Jotun as family. It didn't even _sound_ right, Asgard and Jötunheimr were almost _supposed_ to be fighting all the time. While there had not been a war since before Loki's birth, there was still animosity and no doubt the other realms were going to have a ball watching their every move. Odin and Laufey got along as well as fire and water, but this contest must mean more to them both, so nobody wanted to miss it.

Royalty from the other realms popped in a day before the competition, from Vanaheimr and Nidavellir and even from as far as Niflheimr. Elves, dwarves, Vanir, the works. Clearly it wasn't a problem or Laufey would have kicked them out, but perhaps he had sent out invitations—Loki didn't put it past him. As a result the castle was almost twice as full as it usually was. 

Loki kept out of sight when the commotion began, but it didn't keep him off the tips of everyone’s tongues.

It was an exciting event, he supposed, in the quiet on goings of the realms. The last 'exciting' thing to happen was the youngest prince of Vanaheimr taking a wife from Midgard. That had caused a lot of talk and interest, but this was definitely more exciting for the snobs of the realms to fuss over. Loki was not looking forward to being paraded or stared at, but there was little he could do to change it.

That morning he struggled to part with his bed. He had been dosed with a sleeping draft the night before, but no one had seen him double the dosage. He had sat staring at the walls for hours without saying a word, frightening the kinder of his servants and brothers, and eventually Laufey suggested something to help him sleep. Once the servants had him sitting up with his eyes open, they urged him with food but with his inners constricting he could barely open his mouth. He had no hunger to eat or will to fight, but he wasn't resisting and that was enough for his father to allow him to be fussy.

Each second awake was a trial of his own to _not_ think about the test today, and who was competing in it. Today was the day. Today was the day he'd see the princes again, the day they competed in the first test, the day Loki was one step closer to losing his freedom. 

It was difficult to remain stoic and carry an 'I'm-definitely-not-suspicious' attitude as the servants worked around him with Thrym supervising. He was good at lying, but with his nerves shot and his stomach in constant knots he couldn't be _too_ careful with his secret. 

Laufey was determined to have everything go smoothly, including Loki, and thus took charge of almost everything himself. That morning he left Thrym in charge of seeing that Loki didn't try to run away (another rumour circulating), and Thrym was more than happy to hover and babble away.

“Are they here yet?” Loki asked, lifting his arms for the servants.

“Everyone is here.” Thrym said, glancing out the window. He looked back with a contagious grin. “Tell you what, I’ll have Father enter me to face the aliens. Tell me which you hate more and I’ll get rid of him with the utmost humiliation.”

Loki rolled his eyes heavily at his brother's drama. Thrym wasn't bad on the battle field, but he overestimated himself and his confidence was dangerously blinding. And he also couldn't stop mentioning how he wanted to spar with Thor. 

Loki silently lifted his feet one by one as the servants slipped on golden toe rings and his furry shoes. They felt odd on his feet, Jotuns didn't wear shoes, but almost all the other people of the realms did and their queens couldn't walk around bare foot, apparently it was disgraceful. It made Loki _more_ determined to go ahead with his plan, he could just imagine the layers of clothing he'd have to wear if he was given to Asgard, he'd melt!

This time he had on a little more clothing than the last meeting with the princes. A long dark courting skirt slit down the sides, and a light material worn over his chest a like a robe that ended at his waist. It wasn't body bugging like his skirt, and he was thankful for the little miracle. While Jotuns in general did not have to worry about falling prey to the sadistic lust of enemies in battle, Loki did. He was shaped enticing to the other being in the realms as it was closer to their own object of desires rather than the normal Jotun, so with all the _other_ eyes pouring in, he wanted to be covered from their penetrating gazes.

“Thrym, _I_ can beat you in battle.” 

“Only because I let you.” Thrym grinned, but it had no power to brighten Loki's mood, not today. 

“That isn’t true.” he defended half-heartedly. Thrym noticed the dull look in his eyes and his grin dropped. He hesitated, as if he wanted to reply, but said nothing else as the servants finished up their decorating. 

As soon as they declared they were done Loki ordered them away, there were too many bodies in the room. He pointedly tried not to look down at himself, and looked up to find Thrym watching him curiously. He sighed. 

“I don’t want to choose either of them.”

“You didn’t want to choose any of the warriors Father picked out either. Frostfemme of your age are married and have at least two children by now. Why are you being so difficult?” Thrym asked, but it wasn't a biting tone. He sounded genuinely curious, hesitant even. 

But it hurt. It hurt Loki that this was not something Thrym would understand, and Loki realised that his dependence on Thrym to take his side when no one else understood him was dangerously high. He always knew he was alone, he was different, that no one completely understood him, but Thrym would disagree and insist that _he_ was there, that he understood his little brother....And Loki might just have believed him. It hurt to realise he had been fooled by his own wishful thinking.

“It's part of life, Loki.”

“I don’t want that, Thrym. I don't want to have obligations, or duties…just...me.”

“…I don’t think anyone has that. Not even Father, and he’s the king.”

Loki sighed; it wasn't the reply he wanted. But at least Thrym wasn't commenting on how pretty he looked this time. “I need a moment alone, please.”

Thrym smiled apologetically and patted his cheek. “Sorry. I’ll be just outside, when you're ready I’ll escort you.”

“Okay.” Loki braved a smile to get Thrym to leave faster. If he had the choice he wouldn't be escorted anywhere. The moment Thrym was out the door Loki dived for his stash of medicine that he hid into the side of his bed, beneath his furs. He'd call it medicine because it was going to help him. And while the imminent mating was a few days off, he decided to start taking the brew a few days early, just to be sure.

 _Contraception_. It was a common thing on the other realms, but expressively forbidden on Jötunheimr, and Muspelheim he'd heard. How fucking unfair. No wonder their families were so much bigger than those of Asgard and the like. After hearing about the condition of the competition, Loki ran straight to his trusty books, and after digging down deep enough, found a book of old potions and magic that scholars had taken from other realms throughout the ages and adapted to their own. They had been forgotten as the times moved forward and more effective potions were invented, but the newer books and scrolls did not address fertility any more. They weren't _allowed_ to because messing with the fertility system was risky.

Or so they said...

It took a few hours to find what he wanted, and even then he almost missed it. There were two potions on the matter, but one called for special ingredients he couldn't attain, it must have been the better quality potion as it said it lasted for a season each time. He had to settle for the other. The book explained that it would prevent his body from creating eggs while still producing some seed, but ultimately there'd be no chance of him conceiving. Unfortunately he had to take the potion every morning for the effects to continue working but again, it was worth it. 

The ingredients could be scrounged from the kitchen and stock room of the mages, and they were common enough not to cause suspicion if anyone noticed their disappearance.

Along with the recipe and instructions, the book gave the possible side effects to the potion, including nausea, hot flushes, lack or increase of sexual appetite, infertility, depression, vomiting and a bunch of other minor symptoms he could deal with and pass off as nerves. It was forbidden because of the threat it posed, but if it had to be taken every morning surely that meant the effects wore off quickly? He wouldn't have to take it for long, and then he'd be right as rain. He couldn’t afford _not_ to take it. Rather take the chance, rather take the chance...

After chugging down his bitter potion, which he almost hoped killed him rather than it failing, he left reluctantly into the corridor that was filled with guards and bustling servants, and joined Thrym who gladly strutted him down towards the throne room that had been quickly transformed into a sight of frozen beauty. Sculptors from across the land had been called in to do some quick fixes to the crumbling walls and pillars Laufey had never bothered to have fixed, and it truly did look good once repaired.

The servants were rushing about and the guards were keeping an eye out for trouble makers, foreign and local alike. It was a rush of so many different people in their home and Loki quickly grew nervous as countless eyes focused on him as they went. While he wore a similar outfit to the first meeting, maybe a little more covered up, this one held small symbols of Asgard and Álfheimr which was supposed to represent his support to them both. As if. He wanted to pin them to his father's face.

Their journey to the throne room was smooth as the hallways were less occupied, whereas they met their destination with a sea of heads, and many different shaped and coloured folk. It was starting to look like the Bifrost. 

Thrym was large, much more than Loki, and easily cleared a path for them when Loki's presence wasn't noticed to do it for them. And when it was, Loki sidled a little closer to Thrym as the strange faces peered into his from all sides, too wide a range of emotions springing on their faces to be sure of his reaction to them. He couldn't bear to smile at them even for appearances, but he couldn't scowl either or he'd be in trouble. While he knew his father loved him, he did not want to test being tied to the throne.

Quickly it became obvious that Thrym was leading him over to their father who was speaking to two females, while King Balor and Odin stood just behind them and spoke to one another. As they got closer Loki realised one was definitely an Elf, and the other was an older woman, an Aesir, who could only be the Queen of Asgard.

A thrill ran through Loki at the thought of meeting the Allmother, and he fiddled nervously with his fingers as they drew near. Thrym threw an arm behind him at the last moment and hugged him close, and gave their father a smile when they were acknowledged.

“Loki is ready, Father. Your majesties,” Thrym added with a wider smile, and bowed low to the women. Loki followed mechanically.

Laufey looked delighted, whether of Thrym's manners or Loki's compliance, and gestured to the older lady. “Loki, this is Queen Frigga, Odin’s lovely wife. And this is Princess Nuala, Balor’s daughter. Ladies, this is Loki, my son.” Laufey reached out and wagged his fingers, and immediately Thrym passed Loki to him.

Frantically, as he tried to conjure a ghost of a smile and not trip over his feet, Loki's fingers found each other again and he pulled nervously at them. He looked between the two women and found them smiling back at him, as if compensating for his lack of ability. It was then that he noticed the striking similarities between him and them, but also of their uniqueness to what he was accustomed to. 

His people were of brawn and strength, as was Thor and most men of the realms. Even the dwarves were stocky and built. Hard muscle, wide frames, and hair or bristle; that's what he was used to seeing. But females were petite and soft, their wrists were the average size of two of his father's fingers, almost like his own. Their faces were much sharper and their necks long, and it seemed they only possessed hair on their heads, much like him. There were countless tales on the beautiful maidens across the realm, but none of his readings quite convinced him of their forms that everyone said he possessed. He had yet to find out what was actually between their legs though.

While glancing between them he spotted Odin and Balor in the background, and realised with a twitch in his chest that he should be thankful that he wasn't being forced to marry _them_. It had been done before (though not in his realm), where matches where made to insanely old kings. It was not a nice thought, _at all_. He couldn't see their sons, he didn't want to, but he didn't have time to torment himself in looking for them as the Elf princess bowed in greeting.

“Prince Loki, I hope you are well today.” She said in a kind voice.

Loki only managed to answer when Laufey squeezed his waist. “I-I am, thank you.”

“You look beautiful.” Queen Frigga said, and gave Loki an odd look around her smile. He couldn’t quite decipher it, and just nodded in acknowledgement. The women smiled kindly down at him and Laufey looked satisfied. Loki tried not to look miserable, and glanced around worriedly, but he could not see the princes.

“I have delayed this long enough.” Laufey commented, and turned to the crowds who were standing by and chatting in loud hushed voices. “Let us begin.” he announced and everyone gladly began to take their seats for what was pre-tournament pleasantries. It looked like they knew where they were going, they must have been in the room for a while. Clearly Thrym had greeted the ladies already or he would have been more boisterous. Things must have begun long before Loki awoke, he had made a conscious effort to block it all out.

Long wooden tables had been put out along on either side of the throne room so that the middle floor was left bare, probably for the tests so everyone could have a view. The higher your significance the closer you sat to Laufey and Loki, which being the immediate royals of Asgard and Álfheimr, and Laufey's court. They all sat on the front row of tables where the throne usually sat, and from then on going towards the back of the room everyone else.

Loki was seated directly besides Laufey, to his left, and as if for protection (though more likely tradition), Thrym sat to _his_ left so he was sandwiched between them. They had their own little table, and right besides them on either side the other royal families had their own table, Álfheimr to their right, Asgard to their left. The members of the Jotun court sat just behind them.

As the petty proceedings and technicalities began, Loki tried to block it out. That was the only way he'd get through this without succumbing to weakness, by blocking it out. Fools didn't have stress in their lives because they didn't _think_ , so he wanted to be a fool right now. 

Snacks and drinks were placed about and a scribe read out how the day's event would proceed. Luckily, blocking it out wasn't as difficult as Loki feared and he managed to down two glasses of wine (thanks to Thrym) to help his nerves. It only made him feel worse, of course, and he started to get hot and tingly inside, but that was probably the fertility potion working. It made no reference to avoid alcohol, and he was glad. It gave him strength enough to eat the snacks when prompted and even glance around when he could lean back enough. 

At Asgard's table, Thor was now present, along with his parents, and almost a dozen Asgardians. Half looked to be guards, the other half Loki couldn't place, but they looked like warriors. Queen Frigga was the only one dressed in cloth and drapes, everyone else was armoured as if going into battle.

At Álfheimr’s table Nuada was present too, with his sister and father. Loki wondered briefly where Nuada's mother was, he hadn't yet heard a mention on Álfheimr’s Queen. In fact, he hadn't ever bothered to find out much about Álfheimr when reading. Among them were a few guards and a couple servants, but their table was less occupied than Asgard's.

Looking back to his own table, Loki didn't know why he was surprised when he found Thrym watching the Elf princess. She didn't quite catch him watching her as she was preoccupied by her brother, who caught Loki watching them instead. Loki ducked and turned the other way, trying to look nonchalant, where he found Queen Frigga watching him with the same odd expression from earlier. He couldn't quite dismiss her so easily and gave a polite smile before slinking back to hide behind his brother’s and father's large frames. For once he was glad he was so small.

The potion was definitely taking effects though. Somewhere in his core he was starting to burn, but it wasn’t painful, just very distracting and left him staring at the table as he tried not to show the discomfort. He was sure he'd actually start to sweat if it got any hotter. He hoped he hadn’t mixed it wrong, or that the alcohol was reacting badly, he didn’t want to burn from the inside out and suffer an excruciating death, contrary to his earlier thoughts now that something was actually happening inside him. 

Around the room everyone was revelling like it was already the wedding day, all but Loki. He tried his best not to look up at the members from the other realms and thought about the day it was decided he couldn't be married to either Asgard or Álfheimr. Soon will come, soon will come...

Then after what seemed like hours the food was removed and an assortment of weapons were brought out by the servants and placed carefully on a special table just in front of the open floor. The excitement in the room rose further and Loki wished the weapons would suddenly come to life and club everyone to death. Save for maybe Thrym and the two royal females, but as thanks they would have to leave him alone as he wanted.

“The first test shall be started with Álfheimr, being the first to approach.” Laufey stated, and Loki jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. He was standing so he could be heard by everyone in the hall. It meant all eyes turned their way and Loki wished the heat burning in his belly would be enough to melt him through the chair. 

His sulking was disrupted by light footsteps, and he reluctantly followed everyone’s eyes as Nuada stepped down from his seat. He was shirtless and dressed in black breeches that gave enough room to move in, but the quality of the material looked strong. He came to stand in front of Laufey, and the room quietened in hushed excitement. If Loki didn't know better, bets were being passed around. 

“Six of my finest warriors. Three to you, three to Thor. You shall face Hrym, Gunnar and Vörnir. If you can defeat them you will pass to the next round, and I will sleep well knowing my child and his children will be safe in your hands.” The crowd applauded their agreement and Loki grit his teeth. Nuada though, was not smiling. He stood up straight as if waiting an order, his brows furrowed in concentration. Loki wasn't sure if his determination was honourable or frightening, and suddenly he couldn't tear his eyes away. Yes, it was frightening. 

“Your personal weapons will not be permitted in the trials, of course, but we have provided a wide selection for you to choose from.” Laufey said, and gestured to the assortment laid down on the table.

“Of course, my king.” Nuada said and gave a bow. “I am ready.”

“Good luck, Nuada of Álfheimr.” Laufey said, and sat down. The crowd applauded and called out their wishes in a loud blur of noise. Laufey glanced at Loki and Loki looked back at him with a genuinely nervous expression. His father couldn’t expect him _not_ to be nervous. In fact he had to be, or it would look suspicious and no one could know about the potion.

“Be calm, my child.” Laufey said softly, almost gently, and petted the back of Loki's head. Loki wanted to lean into it as much as he wanted to smack it away, so he sat still, and forced himself to look forward. 

Over his young years Loki had watched many matches, but he had never watched an official match against an outsider. He was impressed by Nuada's bravery to remain calm and collected as three large Jotun warriors made their presence known. He greeted them, as if they were not currently his enemies, and waited in one spot until they were told to choose their weapons. He got to go first, as the guest, and despite the range available he made a bee line for a lance. Everyone watched quietly as he examined the three that were available, and finally settled on one that weighed similar to what his own did. 

He eyed out his opponents but the conclusion he came to didn't call for any drastic means. They weren't to brutally murder one another so Nuada saw no reason to equip himself with serrated daggers or spiked chains, though they were offered. 

The Jotuns however, were not so generous.

Loki frowned heavily when the warriors took on bulky dangerous weapons and all Nuada took was a lance. While each weapon was of fine quality, Loki questioned his sanity for not choosing something else to go along with the lance. The Jotuns sneered and laughed at the Elf prince, trying to provoke him and make him fearful, but he remained impassive and stepped to the middle of the throne room, swinging his lance in a quick effort to accustom himself to the added weight it held.

The Jotuns grabbed their weapons of choice and followed Nuada, circling him and closing him in a small broken circle, where he awaited his battle.

And a battle it was. 

A horn blew and signalled the commence, and the crowd screams as the Jotun behind Nuada instantly swung its thorned club at his head. He missed, for Nuada was rolling away, kicking up to strike the Jotun in front of him instead.

Like the crowd, Loki found himself jumping every few seconds at the close calls on the prince's life, and they were not in short supply. There was no chance at sitting back in his seat and pretending it wasn't happening like he did with his father's speeches, this was not to be ignored. The Jotuns were clearly trying to truly do away with Nuada and roared their frustration each moment he continued to breathe. While Loki (and possible half of the room) questioned Nuada's choice of weapon and compared his strength to the Jotuns, it turned out they were not fast enough for him.

The crowd screamed and called in fright and excitement as Nuada took on his task. He was extremely fast and agile, swinging through their bodies and confusing them in a comical manner. Nuada moved in a way so unlike that of the Jotuns and even the Asgardians. He was of grace and fluidity, rather than the heavy stampeding warriors usually used. While different, it was clear he knew what he was doing and judging by the increase of blue blood appearing, he certainly did.

Despite being opposed to a victory today, Loki leaned forward with everyone else and found himself in awe. Nuada was light on his feet, leaping at a second's notice and sailing through the air at great speed. He was beautiful, he was what Loki had always strived to be in battle. Finally he had proof that stealth _could_ possibly win.

Facing three opponents at once was no easy task and for the first while Nuada focused on wearing them out. He took them on a mad chase for his neck but he was too small and quick to grasp. It made the Jotuns frustrated and they quickly lost their focus, but with it Loki's peaked, as well as the crowd's.

While he was fast and slippery, he was out numbered and still got caught with the ends of strikes he couldn't avoid lest he throw himself into a worst shot. Rather brave a few scrapes and bruises than having limbs severed. The slow damage to him did not please the Jotun at all, especially when he got in more fully fledged blows than they did, showing a larger accumulation of blue blood than faded red.

But he couldn't last forever, no matter his skill, and as soon as the Jotuns began to make mistakes, he took the chance.

The first Jotun went down without warning. A blow to the side of the head and he was unconscious. He fell heavily and was out before he hit the floor. Laufey looked alarmed at the ease of it, but settled down in dark interest as the remaining two lashed out at Nuada for taking down the other.

Nuada managed to jump over a low aimed blow and rolled forward, just making it between the larger one's legs. The Jotuns stumbled, swinging at empty air as Nuada shot up from behind and climbed onto his attacker's back.

The second went down with a blow to his neck and in the shock of it, the third Jotun let his guard down by staring at his fallen comrade, and Nuada struck him down as well. The lance he used was a little heavier than he liked but it faired well seeing as Jotuns were naturally more durable. He was dibbled in blue blood and some that of his own that leaked mainly from his nose and a cut above his eye. His hair was matted lightly with sweat and blood, but when three beats passed and none of his opponents got up, he was victorious, and the crowd roared.

Loki sat back with a thump, slack-jawed as Nuada bowed to each corner of the bellowing audience, left arm folded behind his back, right holding out the lance to symbolise his victory. He then returned the weapon to the table and stepped up formally to Laufey as the healers rushed to remove the Jotuns from the floor. Nuada bowed, his body sporting a few minor scratches and cuts, but he was in once piece. It was extremely impressive for an Elf, but then Nuada fought in a way they'd never seen before. He was unpredictable.

Laufey rose to address him, speaking above the noise of the chattering crowd. “Congratulations, Prince of Álfheimr, you are victorious. That was most impressive, I must admit.” he said neutrally, but Loki knew that he was extremely impressed. He was too.

“Thank you.” Nuada said shortly, and his gaze flickered to Loki for barely a second before he returned to his seat where two elven servants were waiting with cloths and drink for him. They all but forced him into his seat and wiped him down, dabbing his wounds gently around the other Elves who were praising him. Balor seemed happier than all of them put together, he looked like a youngster at his coming of age celebration.

Loki stared openly, his mouth now pressed closed firmly, his heart pounding in his chest from that second's worth of connection. The servants then appeared and wiped the floors clean in no time at all as everyone took the reprieve.

“Balor, you have a fine son.” Laufey called, and Balor smiled all the more proudly in a way that curiously made Loki feel jealous. He shook off the shock and slumped back in his seat and prayed for Thor to lose, and for Nuada to lose in the match against him. In the heat of the battle he'd forgotten the heat in his stomach and now that he was staring at the table again he felt the burn tickle at him for attention, but his mind was too troubled to pay it thought. 

Nuada had been good, _really_ good, Loki was surprised he'd never heard of him before like he did Thor. Then again not much was heard of Álfheimr in general, they were a quiet and peaceful people. Much unlike Jötunheimr, _and_ Asgard. Maybe that's why Loki had never found an interest in them, he was attracted to violence and squabbling like the rest of his damn people.

When the chattering died down, Laufey turned to the Asgardian table and Loki couldn't help himself peeking over Thrym's chest. “Prince Thor, your turn.” 

A shirtless Thor was indeed a sight to behold, and Loki glanced back at Nuada to compare. Thor was muscled, very attractively so and heavily built. It was much closer a form to the Jotuns than Nuada had, but Nuada was no less appealing—which wasn't very much of course, Loki was **not** picking sides at all. Of course not. …It was just a little less intimidating to imagine Nuada handling him seeing as they were nearly the same size, as opposed to Thor Odinson who looked like those furry beasts of Midgard and Vanaheimr called bears.

Another trio of Jotun warriors appeared and stood opposite Thor on the battle floor, the four of them looking up at Laufey. 

“Thor Odinson. You shall face Helblindi, Surtr and Baugi. Keep within the rules, and good luck.” Laufey gestured to the weapons table and looked pointedly at Thor. 

For once Thor looked completely serious and focused. But battle was his strength, and after Nuada's shocking performance, he had to be just as good. Loki almost wished for Thor to fail just to humiliate Asgard and damage his fearful reputation.

As expected, though it brought Loki no satisfaction whatsoever, Thor grabbed for the bulkiest and harshest weapons, but with his muscle density he could lift and swing just about anything. He was at no disadvantage.

His opponents looked weary, this was Odinson after all, and equipped themselves too with big weapons. It would be a clash of titans. The crowds murmured in dark satisfaction as they took their places, though trying to box in Thor was not as easy as it looked with Nuada. Thor was large and imposing, glaring at them each in the eye with promise of the retribution that was inevitable. The crowds were stiff with anticipation and Loki found himself pressing his palms into his armrests, jumping as the horn sounded.

The battle began with a spray of blood. The crowd reacted as expected and made commotion as Thor struck the first Jotun as soon as he could, showering the floor blue. 

A cold spike shot through Loki's stomach and he clutched at the armrests of his chair, digging his nails painfully into the ice. 

As the injured Jotun staggered away, another swung his club but Thor blocked it and ducked, causing the third Jotun to strike the second accidentally. Taking advantage he struck the third on the back of the head with a roar of his own, and the crowd roared with him.

Thrym was on the edge of his seat, Loki knew he was dying to spar with Thor, and Laufey looked morbidly impressed rather than concerned.

Loki was _purely_ concerned. Thor was a mad man in battle, and unlike Nuada who was too fast to lay a blow on, Thor took each hard blow dealt to him and simply retaliated as if he felt no pain. The strength of his body certainly rivalled that of a Jotun's and his bloodlust spurred him on into a painless frenzy. 

It was frightening. He was a violent man, he was a large man, and it was concerning.

Loki was glad everyone was too busy watching the three warriors pinning Thor to the ground to notice that he was starting to hyperventilate. He didn't want to panic, he didn't want to show weakness, he wanted to be strong, but Thor was a true Asgardian solider. He was dangerous.

Loki now wished dearly he'd lose, even if he had to be bed for a year by the Elf until they gave up. Norns let him lose.

The battle was long and gruelling. The warriors seemed more determined than the first to eliminate their opponent, probably because this was Thor, and continuously got up after being knocked down even if it took them a while. They were as relentless as Thor. 

Blood was starting to drip instead of dibble and Thor resorted to breaking bones when his blows didn't knock out his opponents. It was simple with Mjölnir, but not with common weapons, bringing an unspoken question to everyone's lips. Loki hadn't bothered to listen to the rules of the battle but bones were amendable, so he supposed it was allowed, but severed limbs and shredded organs were another matter.

Unable to help himself he glanced behind his father's back to where Nuada sat stoically, watching the match with narrowed eyes and a tight lipped expression. He was still shirtless but his wounds had been cleaned and he watched without blinking, reacting to nothing while the crowds bellowed. He was now just _there_ , as if he hadn't just put on his own startling performance. Thrym would've been getting drunk by now in his victory and shouting obscenities to throw Thor off his game.

How had the Elf prince incapacitated his opponents with single blows? It was very possible of course, but that would require deft precision during motion, unwavering focus in battle, and extensive knowledge on Jotun biology. Was Nuada _that_ good...?

Eventually, nearly an hour longer than Nuada, Thor emerged victorious. The Asgardian table roared louder than the entire hall, Álfheimr the least. The Jotuns didn't look particularly pleased, much less than they did when Nuada had won his turn. There was definitely money being passed around, grins and grimaces too, and Loki sat rigid as Thor threw his weapon aside triumphantly among the Jotuns on the floor.

Finally Thor fell into his usual his trademark grin and lifted his fists to the crowds with a bellow of victory, covered in a sticky mixture of purple blood. It was now easy to see who his friend's were. They were the youngest company of the Asgard table, the ones Loki couldn't place, and had they been family they surely would have been introduced to Loki. There was yet another female (Loki realised he shouldn't be so surprised) and she was dressed like a warrior, among three other men, all with different coloured hair. They yelled and applauded loudly, almost immaturely, egging on Thor's smug swagger as he left the ice. 

Again Loki peeked back as slyly as he could and watched Nuada sitting quietly, neither rejoicing nor mourning. He was looking at his sister with an odd expression as she caressed his jaw in a motherly fashion. Again Loki felt a strange spur of jealousy at the affection.

Then again, as if the Norns found it funny, Nuada looked up abruptly and caught his gaze. Loki ducked with a squeak of embarrassment and hissed into the table. He wouldn't be looking at him again. Bloody bastard _was_ that good.

“Well done, Prince of Asgard! You’re still a fearsome opponent.” Laufey said loudly, and Thor bowed, dripping with a smugness that his supporters encouraged. 

“Thank you, king.” he said, and returned to his table where he denied the healers and instead accepted a drink from his friends. Odin looked less pleased than Loki expected, and Frigga was looking at her lap. The female besides Thor was smiling oddly at him and glancing around at his injuries, but she was much less enthusiastic than his male friends that were clapping him on the back and laughing. Maybe she was his woman? Loki couldn't tell, he wasn't embracing her or she him, but she must mean something to be able to poke at his body without being reprimanded. 

Then Laufey clapped loudly to quieten the noise in the hall room. 

“Well done, Kings. Your sons are most impressive. I might have to rethink our own tactics.” he joked, smiling falsely as laughter trickled in. Oh how Loki wanted to poison them all, idiots. “You have both passed. Tomorrow you shall return, should no extensive injuries have been dealt,” he glanced at Thor who was caked in blood but returned an 'I-am-perfectly-fine' gesture that Loki wanted to kick, “and your next test will be facing Loki. By now I have no doubt each of you will pass that test.” Again the crowd laughed and Loki flushed a dark blue. He bit his bottom lip and looked down as his cheeks burned at the humiliation. _He'd show them. He'd have the last laugh_.

Laufey then continued, “It would be shameful if you did not pass it. Let us celebrate!”

Once more, food and drink were served, but this time everyone was allowed to leave their seats and mingle. As soon as he could Loki quickly vanished from his seat when Laufey was occupied with technicalities and sulked off alone near the back where no one could simply wander by without a reason.

He plonked down on the furry seat available and sighed a heavy breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. There was barely a moment to think back on the first test when someone approached him.

“May I sit with you?”

Loki looked up to find Princess Nuala. She was alone, at least. And despite thinking females odd, she _was_ rather beautiful. Big round eyes and a sweet face, and unlike her brother, the discolouration around her eyes and mouth was a deep maroon, but it suited her. And now that he looked properly, she looked so like her brother. They bore the exact same scars and royal lines on their faces and their hair was identical. She dressed with bland golden colours much like Nuada's, with small accessories coloured blue. Whether or not it was in favour of Jötunheimr, the colour suited her.

“…Do whatever pleases you.” he said at last. She sat down carefully besides him, and he attempted to be civil and turned slightly towards her so not to be rude. 

“I’m Nuala, Nuada’s sister. I couldn’t help noticing you look horribly sad.”

His almost smile vanished. “Are you going to tell me I should be happy having two princes battle over me?”

She looked humbly amused and shook her head. “No, but I will tell you that I am here if you need someone to speak with. I am a good listener, and…you look like you need someone to listen to you.”

There was no malevolence in her eyes that Loki could see, nor could he hear in her voice, and he dropped his shoulders a little. “…The person who should be listening to me is currently praising your brother and that yellow bear on being a step closer to owning me.” It wasn't something he should be saying, but he'd blame it on being intimidated by the physical performance his maybe-husbands just showcased.

But Nuala didn't look scandalised and folded her hands on her lap delicately. “Nuada will not cause you grief, he is a good man.”

“And when you leave Odin’s wife will approach me and try to convince me the same of her son.”

“Are you afraid or angry?” she asked suddenly, and looking into her odd yet similar-to-theirs eyes, Loki found he couldn't help but admit the truth. He _wanted_ to tell the truth, for once.

“…A bit of both. Mostly angry.”

Nuala hesitated, her large eyes glancing around as if someone was listening. “…I know it’s bias of me, but you should hope Nuada wins your hand. He is a proper man and he’ll care for you until his last breath. He has expressed a genuine interest in you and if you come to Álfheimr as his queen you won’t be alone. Nuada will be king soon so he will have much work to handle in the realm but I’ll be there. I think we’ll make good friends. And I am coming out of my own. I know the feeling you are having.”

She sounded genuine, and her words did bring a smidgen of comfort, but being defensive was his nature. “Do you? _Really_?” he asked, narrowing his eyes sarcastically.

“Yes. A few times father tried to match me to a foreign gentleman.” she said, smiling with a calm understanding.

“But he didn’t?”

“Things changed. I was terrified then. I wasn’t quite ready.”

Okay, fine, that was similar, but she wasn’t the one who had Jotun customs. If she had been in that predicament she'd have to be married first before her intended could lay a finger on her body.

He tried to stop himself, he really did, but he couldn't bear seeming as if he actually supported this contest. Lying for his benefit was easy, lying to please others wasn't. “…Do you know how they are truly going to win my hand? Does everyone know or just your father and him?” Loki hadn't thought of that, but given it was now a public matter, he supposed everyone did know. 

Nuala went pink and quickly dropped her gaze to her lap. Loki blinked at the blush that crept across her face and almost laughed at her shy nature. Jotuns were not that shy when it came to mating matters, and from what he gathered neither where the warriors of the other realms. Fight, eat, fuck, sleep, repeat. Perhaps their women were sheltered. But that left him wondering who the warriors fucked on their travels. Whores? Each other? Prisoners of war? Their steeds? On second thought, he didn't want to know.

“We know. It’s odd, it’s not something done on Álfheimr but I heard it is common here.” She said softly, braving a flushed-face peek at him. Thrym would have swooned.

Not _that_ common, he thought. “That doesn’t mean I am okay with it.” he said sourly.

“Be careful tomorrow.” she said suddenly, “Against my brother, and Thor. I know you’re going to fight to win, but don’t hurt yourself.”

He didn't want this concern, he didn't want her concern. It was nice, obviously, but unless she could use those words were it really mattered, he didn't care much. He looked up at her, acknowledging her words, when he finally realised she had a cut above her eye. “You’re bleeding.” he said hurriedly.

“Oh, that’s from Nuada.” she said dismissively, patted it gently. Loki's eyes widened into saucers and he jumped in fright, making Nuala gasp. She made an odd sound and slapped a hand over her mouth. “No, no! I mean, from the battle. We share an odd link that if either of us is harmed, the other will be too. It’s like...a physical echo. Twins.” she added, as if that made all the sense in the world.

Loki looked worriedly from Nuala to the crowd, but she lifted the fabric around her arm and showed him another cut as proof. They were identical to Nuada's. Loki stared at it in shock, as if it sprouted out of nowhere, and looked up at her with a new found respect. “So…if he breaks a leg in battle...Or if I dislocate his jaw tomorrow?”

“Then my bones will break with his.” she said simply, leaving the shock and flinching to him.

“…That isn’t fair.” Loki mumbled, staring like a fool. How would he beat the Elf with all he had if Nuala would go down with him? He didn't exactly get a thrill out of harming one weaker than he.

She smiled and waved off the alarm he expressed as if it were a minor trifle. “I don’t think life is meant to be fair. I will leave you now, I didn’t mean to bother.”

He quickly shook his head, “…You’re not. I mean you didn't. Thank you.” 

Nuala got up and bowed her head, then walked off to where two Elf guards had been waiting for her, and left him in his thoughts. 

“Fuck,” he swore when she out of view. This just ruined his bloodlust for Nuada; that wasn't fair! How would the Elves look at him if he caused their princess extensive bodily harm? On that thought, how did Nuada go into battle with that responsibility on his shoulders? But then it struck Loki—Nuada used stealth and avoided blows so that Nuala wouldn't have to suffer them, not because he couldn't handle them. He did it for her.

Loki's heart clenched. 

He looked after Nuala's departure and felt a small spark of anger that her life and well-being be compromised so. How could Balor sit back and watch three bloodthirsty warriors attempt to bludgeon Nuada to death? How did Nuala? _Loki_ was scared for _her_! He'd be paranoid if he and Thrym shared the same connection. Although, Nuada was fantastic in battle, perhaps he was good enough for Nuala to truly not worry.

Then again...he _had_ to be that good, if not for himself, then for her.

Now moodier than before, Loki slouched unattractively, and ignored Thrym who marched up with a big grin on his face. He held a plate of food in his hand and offered it down to Loki.

“She is so beautiful. What did she say?” he asked around mouthfuls.

Loki looked at the food as if it was dirt. “Well, she didn’t mention you. And don’t go grope her, her brother might feel it.”

“They were impressive, no? I thought I had my money on Thor, but the Elf is very skilled.”

Loki shivered at the red memories of Thor. “…Thor is sloppy. He uses brute force. If he lands a blow on me I might black out.”

Thrym looked at him in alarm, halting his mindless chewing. “They’re not allowed to hit you that hard. Anyway, you’re small and slippery, he won’t be able to grab you. But now Nuada on the other hand…”

Lifting a finger to shut him up, Loki breathed deeply through his nose to calm himself and looked around at the crowd. “Who is father favouring?”

Thrym again offered him the plate, but he rejected it. Thrym sighed and ate off a few of the cakes he'd brought for Loki and spoke with his mouth full. “I dunno, act’ully 'ee looks won o'er bo' ways.”

Loki didn't know what he had been hoping to hear, but that wasn’t one of them. “…Go away.” he mumbled unhappily.

“What?”

“Just go away, I don’t wish for company.” Loki spat and pointedly looked away. He needed to be alone, why couldn't he just be _left-a- **lone**_.

“Fine, I’m going.” Thrym grumbled, and got up and left. Loki didn't turn back, as if the air was tainted, and after a moment of tapping his toes idly, he pulled up to get a drink, a strong drink, and maybe drown away his sorrows.

But not even half way to the table and he was intercepted, and his heart stopped beating.

“Prince Loki, I saw you were without a drink.” Nuada said.

Swallowing, Loki just stared at Nuada, who was now dressed back up in his full attire. His tongue seemed to have swelled to the roof of his mouth, blocking his air ways.

“I have brought you one.” Nuada continued, and held out a goblet.

At first Loki hesitated, staring down at Nuada's slim hands that only the Frostfemme in the Jotun race possessed. Thor’s hands were not like that either, his were like that of regular Jotuns, thick and wide. As for the drink, if it was poisoned it would either kill him, which he could accept again at the moment, or it'd knock him out and he'd wake up pressed into some surface and most likely thoroughly mated, but maybe that was better seeing as he wouldn't remember anything. Either way it didn't seem as bad as it usually would.

Nuada smiled when Loki accepted the drink, and tried to hide his own hesitance. “I hope I have impressed you today?”

Loki halted in his vulgar chugging and looked at Nuada curiously. He swallowed his mouthful and wiped his mouth with a small cough. “…You fight with skills I haven’t seen before.”

“If you had I would be surprised.” Nuada said, but Loki didn't know how to answer. There was definitely a foreign method to Nuada's style, but no amount of reading could help him recognise it. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued. And very wary.

His face must have given him away for Nuada looked concerned for a moment. “If my presence upsets you tell me and I shall leave.”

Why he couldn't just take him up on that offer, Loki didn't know. Maybe the idea of Thor visiting him next made this seem that much better. “…No. No, it’s not.” he said, meekly. He kneaded the goblet between his fingers nervously, but held the eye contact so not to give himself away again.

“I wish I knew what to say to sooth you.” Nuada suddenly said, drawing surprise.

“What makes you think I need soothing?”

“I wish you luck tomorrow my prince, but should you fall, I hope it is by my hand.” Nuada said, with a large bout of respect in his voice, but Loki wasn't ready to make distinctions. Nuada was just another Thor.

“What makes you worthier?” he asked, almost rudely.

“…I am not allowed to speak ill of my opponent in this match, but I see no grace from him. His opinions of Jotuns are far from delicate and his actions will be more so. I mean no disrespect against your father but for your own well being Thor should not be chosen.”

That was actually true, if Loki thought about it. Thor was clearly a dangerous man and yes, his view on Jötunheimr was not very nice. Loki shuddered at the image of that anger and power handling him, and once more scowled at his father. What was he thinking? Was he willing to take the chance for more power and favours from Asgard over Loki’s well-being? It made Loki angry, and he shouldn’t be hearing this from Nuada, Nuada should be here boasting why he is the better prince, not reminding him that Thor was unstable.

“But it’s not happening like that. No one will _be_ chosen. It’ll depend on…” Loki looked away, licking his lips to pause, “on _that_.” Unless he could knock them both out in his trials, but after today's show, he was not so optimistic.

“Yes…I don’t particularly like it either.” Nuada admitted, and looked into his goblet. If Odin hadn’t intruded Nuada would have won his first task and he’d be sitting now with Loki and striking conversation. He wasn’t supposed to be watching Loki try to glare him and everyone else out of existence.

“An inter realm match without heirs with be useless. Strength means nothings then.” Loki muttered out his father’s thoughts.

“…Indeed.”

There was moment of silence between them, and Loki took a sip of his wine. It was a nice gesture of Nuada, a gentlemanly thing to do, and when imagining Thor doing the same his mind conjured up an image of Thor shoving slabs of meat into his hands and forcing beer down his throat. Unpleasant.

“…I look forward to facing you tomorrow.” He mumbled, and peeked up under his lashes. He _was_ , to prove himself, and to finally face an opponent he could be equal to in strength and ability. It was disheartening when he was always outmatched, and misunderstood. He knew he was good, but Jotuns were not easy to get down. Maybe he'd fair better against Nuada, and hopefully Thor.

Nuada smiled at the voluntary attention. “I have heard a few compliments on your own skills. I am eager to see it in motion.”

Was that so? Loki almost smirked. “And so you shall.” He promised, and Nuada only smiled wider. 

Then like a message no one wanted to receive, Odin approached, and they bowed lightly in greeting.

“Princes. May I have a moment of Loki’s time?” he asked Nuada, but there was no answer valid other than a ‘yes’.

“Of course, Allfather.” Nuada said, and he turned back to Loki. He reached out and gently grasped Loki's hand. He ignored the small jump and pressed on a sweet kiss, a little firmer than the first time they met.

“Till the next time, Prince Loki.” Nuada said, looking as sure as the rising sun, and parted with a smile that left Loki trying not to blush in front of the Allfather. 

When Nuada was gone Odin cleared his throat and Loki tried his best to pay attention to the man his father despised most. He vaguely remembered Asgard, Odin even less, but this was definitely him, you never forgot.

“Loki, the last time I saw you, you were a little child clinging to your father's leg. Now you’re all grown, as beautiful as your mother I hear.”

“Thank you, Allfather.” He said mechanically, and smiled a political smile for appearances. He didn’t know what Odin thought beauty was but he doubted he fit in that category. Flattery was part of politics.

“Do you know you were once betrothed to Thor?” Odin asked abruptly, much like the sudden question both Nuada and Nuala had shot at him. He blinked at Odin who was watching him closely, and nodded slowly.

“…Yes. But you declined.” Yes, he had been once betrothed but Odin rejected them and it fell away into bitterness on Laufey’s part. Loki hadn’t given it much thought because the possibility of reviving that matter seemed far fetched and asinine. 

Clearly he was wrong.

“The match was made just after your birth, but we were still very much in tension, it wasn’t a strong enough promise at the time to bind us. But now that the lands are calm and you are grown, a proper union can be forged. I did not mean for it to seem as though we are trying to out do Álfheimr, but you were promised to us as a babe, we should honour that and carry it through.”

Loki tried his best not to sneer. It was all the more a reminder that his life was not his own, no matter how much he pretended. “If it’s meant to be it shall happen.” He said dismissively and wished for someone else to steal his attention, preferably anyone that wasn’t an outsider. He'd even take the rebels right now.

And talking about outsiders, as he glanced away from the old man he saw Thor’s group of friends watching him closely. Thor was there, but occupied with scarfing down his food as if it he had killed it himself. The one man with black hair and the woman were looking at him as if he were an enemy they had caught and bound, and he especially didn't like the look from the woman. She had an intensity about her that made Loki wonder what other powers Asgard was hiding. The hairy red-haired man was watching him with curious benevolence as he too dug into the food, and the last man with the yellow hair was grinning at him as if trying to make eyes. He looked much too happy, especially in contrast to his friends.

Loki looked away sharply.

Odin smiled stiffly, ignoring Loki's distraction. “Yes, and I hope for the best.”

“As do I.” Loki replied mechanically, and feared he would never be able to stop replying that way.

“Allfather,” Loki had never been happier to hear his father's voice. He struggled not to turn his shaky gaze as his father came up towards them. “Not trying to sway my son, are you?” Laufey chuckled, and pulled Loki against his chest affectionately. Clearly he had forgotten his strength and Loki huffed as the air shot from his lungs, and struggled half heartedly against his father's hard skin.

“It's never too early to create bonds.” Odin said, and Loki had to look away to roll his eyes. Why didn't Thor come here then, rather than Odin? Loki wasn't sure he wanted the answer.

“Fárbauti used to say similar.” Laufey said, and initiated a stupid conversation, with Loki literally trapped in the middle. As well as feeling mentally suffocated, he felt so physically too and made a strangled noise. He pushed against his father's grip and looked up with pleading eyes. He could _not_ stand here and listen to their fake pleasantries.

“I need to excuse myself.” he said hurriedly, and dug a hand into his stomach as it twisted and churned, “Please.”

“Are you alright?” 

“I'm fine, I just need some air.” 

Laufey didn't look as upset as Loki usually feared, and he released him without a fight. “Go on, come back when you're well.”

Loki nodded with no intention of returning that day.

**XxXxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning, I tend to use words Microsoft doesn’t agree with. And I apologize for grammar and spelling errors.
> 
> Have you seen Nuada fight? Siriusly it's pure one-sided sex with clothes on. And add Loki's Thor 2 performance when he fought that group of dark elves, they'd fucking make a hurricane together, not just a thunder storm. Though if you want a threesome (i know i do) and add Thor in, it might bring upon Ragnarök. Talk about a beautiful death. ~~Then we add Stark. And Thranduil. And of course, fucking **Jack Harkness**~~.


	6. Trial Two Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki faces Nuada, and four princes in one group aren't a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>   
> 
> GUYS I made a cover for my fic. I’m no artist at all but it’s not completely horrible so I deemed it okay to be shown in public lol  
>    
>  _Please forgive spelling errors or feel free to point them out._
> 
> **Also seeing as this fic will have smut, foul language is in the same basket, so…warnings for potty mouth.**

**Chapter 6: Trial Two Part 1**

Once escaping from his father and Odin’s attentions, Loki fled to the privacy his room to have a debate with himself. 

“Yes, but that still leaves the issue of an upper hand.” Loki scowled as he paced up and down, locked in the heated discussion. His clone sat on the edge of the bed, one leg folded beneath him and the other swinging idly. He didn’t look as concerned as Loki did, much to Loki’s annoyance.

“We can use stealth to beat Thor, but we can’t conjure muscle to beat the Elf.” The clone said, dryly. 

“No, we’re not at that level yet.” Loki sighed, “It won’t be an easy win by using speed against speed. The match will end up waiting on one of us to falter.”

“And with our luck…” the clone hinted.

“Ugh,” Loki flapped a hand at it, “Be useful or leave.”

The clone rolled its eyes and looked around, hoping to find an answer to tomorrow’s battle. “We’re allowed magic?” He offered.

Loki pulled a face, “Most of our magic is just illusions, we’ve no solid attacks.” Of course Laufey would make it difficult to get his hands on _those_ kind of books.

“I’m solid.” The clone said, offended, and slapped its thigh.

“Yes bu-” Loki stared into the clone’s face, then reached and shoved it over. “Pretty solid, I’ve gotten good at it.”

“ _Ow_!” The clone slapped him away, pawing at his shoulder as he sat back up, disgruntled. “We’re solid. We—well _there_ , problem solved.” 

“Huh, that could actually work.” Loki smiled, and started to pace again, “Okay, that can be our last resort if all else fails. How many of you can I hold at a time…”

“Or more specifically, how many of us can you make with a solid touch while already exhausted from battle, while _in_ battle?” 

“Two should be a challenge enough while I wait for the opportune moment to strike?” It was a pretty good idea. His doubles weren’t fool proof, they were heavy drainers on energy and not guaranteed to put up as big a challenge, but when solid they could do damage and keep his opponents busy while he got his own breath back and found the right time to slip in and stab them in the back-!

“Or should we start off with a few of us instead of using it as a last resort?” the clone asked, “Especially with Nuada? Thor you can still run circles around and take his breath away before striking, but the Elf? And what of that ridiculous link he has with his sister?”

Loki made an irritable sound at the horrid reminder. “Could you just let me enjoy the thought for a moment before getting so technical and ruining it?!” 

The clone scoffed. “I’m not the one that likes to argue with himself.”

A second later Loki tackled the clone into the bed, just missing Thrym’s entry as he shoved his clone’s head into the blankets.

“Loki! I thought you said you’d show me your doubles when you mastered them!” Thrym whined obnoxiously as he ran around the bed to stare between them, “Since when have you had them solid?!”

“Not a good time, Thrym!” Loki hissed as he struggled to hold down his clone, morbidly wondering if he looked attractive from behind while being forced over. If he decided to resist the princes and they forced him into bed, at least he knew what they’d see. He needed to work on straightening his back, he looked pathetic all malleable and flailing.

“I can see tha—oh!” Thrym winced as the clone ripped at a chuck of Loki’s hair, then struck him in the face before sending them tumbling off the other side of the bed. Thrym kneeled on the bed and leaned over to stare at the tangle of slim limbs, and pulled his lips, impressed. “You’re good at that, you should show father.”

Both Loki’s scoffed simultaneously and fought to get back on the bed first. Thrym laughed. “Imagine if you had a twin Loki.”

“Better than _you_ having a twin.” The real Loki quipped, finally on the bed, panting at his clone who mirrored his annoyed expression. It was entertaining, he could admit, seeing it on a real body than on a mirror or feeling it on his face. He had quite the attractive scowl too—no wonder his grouchy faces didn’t chase people off.

Thrym gasped. “Wait! Imagine-! Imagine if you had a twin, then both Thor and Nuada can get one each. Problem solved! Wow, if we had thought of that earlier, we could have found a way to make one of your doubles permanent! Huh, I’m a genius.”

“Your brother is an idiot.” The clone whispered to Loki behind his hand in an exaggerated manner. 

“Wow, well done, Thrym. You solved the secret of the universe. Now solve how they will eat and piss and grow old.”

“Don’t your doubles do that?”

“I’d like to leave now.”

“Be my guest.”

Thrym watched in fascination as the clone’s form shuddered out of sight, and grinned at Loki. “You are going to make on fine sorcerer. Asgard loves those.”

Loki smacked his lips apart noisily, “Oh please, Queen Frigga is said to be a powerful sorcerer, she didn’t look all that strong. And if _that_ is what Asgard thinks a powerful sorcerer is, imagine how they will take to me? They might catch fright and lock me in their dungeons.”

“I hear Álfheimr is lacking in sorcerers completely, they fiddle with nature magic and all that. I suppose it fits though, I can’t see Princess Nuala conjuring fire and tearing apart monuments while the land shakes and trembles. Odin, yes, but not her…” 

“Father had you reading those history books again, didn’t he.”

“They’re duller than listening to Býleistr argue with his mate.” Thrym groaned, but shared a chuckle with Loki at the expense of one of their brothers. They laughed softly for a few moments, before Thrym patted Loki’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

Unlike earlier when Laufey had taken hold of him in an attempt to comfort him, Loki leaned into it and sighed. “I am fine, Thrym.”

“…Sure sure? I’m here, I’m offering a sappy talk.”

It wouldn’t help Loki to complain to Thrym, and really it was only making him feel worse watching Thrym struggle to reply. “No, I’m fine. You know I don’t do sappy.” Loki smacked his hand away playfully.

Thrym smiled, a knowing look in his eyes, but quickly he grinned and fell back into his usual demeanour as he sat besides Loki. “If I was king now, I’d ask for Nuala.”

Loki cringed comically. “Okay besides the fact that the Elves would _never_ give away their females to us, to _anyone_ (the Elves were notorious for never marrying their women into other races), how do you figure it would work? Her waist is the size of your neck!”

“Oh you’re just being dramatic, love finds a way.”

“Love finds a—?” Loki gasped in laughter, “I’m dramatic? Thrym, your cock—and this is not a compliment on size—would pierce her ches _s-ffhhng_!” Thrym slapped a large hand over Loki’s mouth, yanking him close so Loki’s back was pressed against his chest and he was struggling against his grip.

“Shhh…don’t make me tease _your_ cock.” Thrym whispered menacingly into his ear, and Loki yowled a muffled protest into his palm at the topic. He _hated_ that topic, and Thrym saved it for special occasions just to make him hiss and spit.

When Thrym decided Loki wouldn’t continue his dirty train of thought, he released his mouth and laughed as Loki gasped for breath and smacked him at an awkward angle, but pulled Loki up to snuggle against from behind. 

“You ass.” Loki panted, but slumped back against Thrym, and wondered what it would be like if Thrym was indeed king now. “…Thrym?”

“Yeah?”

“If you _were_ king now, would you make me marry one of them?”

Thrym stiffened, but Loki felt him smile against his head. “No, but I’d ask you to distract Nuada while I woo his sister. She’s looks pretty in blue, she’d be a gem here. Besides me…on the throne…all…small and pretty…”

“You’re going to have to think of a new word to use other than ‘pretty’ or its effect will disappear.” Loki scolded half-heartedly, but pictured what Thrym said anyway. He huddled back into Thrym’s warmth, imagining him as king, vying for the princess, everyone looking at them and not Loki, while he sneaked around and lured away the Elf prince so Thrym could try win the princess’s attentions. In fact, that would be most enjoyable, he would challenge Nuada to a spar, a playful spar where they were equal in skill and he could gain some respect and honour, and interrogate him about the realms! And his home, and what it was like to travel and-

And everything he’d like to do, if he were free.

“It sounds great.” Loki said, and Thrym nodded against him. “Yeah.”

There was a knock at the door, and the brothers looked up to see Laufey enter. He raised a brow and closed the door behind him.

“While incest is useful when planned, there are two fine princes out there who are more useful. Get off him, Thrym.”

“Father, gross,” Thrym scowled, but released Loki and got off the bed. “There is only one woman for me.”

“I don’t know where you developed his fetish for cunts.” Laufey shook his head, and held up a hand when Thrym opened his mouth. “It’s not happening. It’s not even physically possible.”

“…While I’m going to ignore you calling me a woman, _I told you so_!” Loki sneered at Thrym, then whined angrily as he barely managed to dodge a smack from Laufey.

“My legacy rests with you two and I can just feel it crumbling to bits.” He growled, giving them both the stink eye. “And I am serious, I hope there is nothing going on between you two.”

“ _Father_!” they yelled, and Loki fought his way off the tangled blankets to stand up, though his height didn’t help his attempt for dignity. “We were just sitting!” What he wanted to say was “ _Just because you don’t know how to show affection doesn’t mean it’s something perverted._ ” 

“And _I’m_ serious, gross.”

Laufey sighed loudly and turned to Loki. “Are you brooding yet on your match tomorrow?”

“Yes, but Thrym interrupted me thinking. And now you.”

“Any plans?”

Loki shared a quick look with Thrym silently urging him to stay quiet. “One or two.”

“Hmm. Fine, handle it yourself, I’m sure you know best.”

Loki made a scandalised noise. “Oh yes, and you would do your best to help me win if you could.”

“Winning this means two different things to us.” Laufey said, darkly, and Loki screwed up his face to mirror Laufey’s.

“Clearly.”

“…I have a wild thought! Why don’t we ask Balor for Nuala as the union maker! That way Loki doesn’t bitch, I get a queen and Balor gets a match with Jötunheimr!” 

“…You’ll be facing Nuada tomorrow,” Laufey continued, battling Loki in a glare while Thrym became one with the furniture, “And Thor the next day. There will be no need for fatal plans, you’ll be safe. Try not to slit their throats. That could be deemed an act of war.”

“Or an honest mistake,” Loki said, a pout in his voice.

“Father I think one of your lovers are looking for you, you need a massage.” Thrym said nervously, reading to throw a wall between his snarling family members.

“Someone else could use a lover, then maybe they wouldn’t be so stiff.” Laufey taunted, but backed up and dragged Thrym with him. “Loki tomorrow you’re staying after the match to talk to the princes.”

“I can’t wait.” Loki droned with a fake eagerness, and smiled obnoxiously until Laufey groaned and slammed shut his door. 

“Fucker.” Loki breathed. 

***

The celebrations of the first task did not fall into the late hours of the night like Loki expected. The second trial was tomorrow and victory was not yet truly achieved, so most people turned in early. Many folk did not return to their realms just to sleep so Laufey accommodated them, and Odin looked fairly surprised that he could, leaving Laufey smug. Laufey was no doubt having a blast for once proving to Odin that they were just as proud and capable a realm, servants working top notch along with the guards and mages. If Loki wasn't the centre of attention he would have sneaked around and caused some mischief, but there were guards everywhere, outside his door and patrolling the corridors, and he was in no mood anyway.

Like the previous night Loki had to take a potion to fall asleep through his twitching nerves, and while lying waiting, he was morbidly surprised no one tried to sneak into his room, rebel, prince, or warrior alike. It was no secret Helblindi and the other Jotun warriors were outraged at failing, and he didn’t put it past them to corner him with cocks ready. He doubted the foreign princes would do such a thing, they couldn’t risk being exposed and shamed, but the Jotun warriors definitely could take the chance with less shame. Though they could lose their heads for such a thing, they’d be heroes amongst a lot of the population, and killing an unborn child is forbidden so their will would be done despite their death.

Loki wished he knew what a woman’s parts looked like so he conjure one onto himself and scare them off.

Norns, then he’d have to beat off Thrym.

“Fuckers.” Loki grumbled as sleep took him.

***

Unlike the morning before, Loki awoke before the servants came to fetch him. It wasn’t that much earlier, but he took the few moments to go through a few stretches and recap on his strategy. 

While Nuada was less frightening in the way that Loki didn’t fear losing his head, Nuada was still a concerning matter. He was an excellent warrior, only a fool would deny it, and Loki needed to be better than that. He _had_ to.

Before his servants arrived he took his potion, and made a mental note to take it the same time every day to maximise its efficiency. He hoped the burning in his stomach would wear off by the time the match started, but if it didn’t he decided it was bearable to endure while staying focused

For a small bit of the morning alone Loki hoped everyone had forgotten about him and maybe he’d be lucky, but sure enough the servants appeared, flanked by a happy looking Thrym.

“Today’s the day.” He sang. Loki rolled his eyes. It sounded like a wedding announcement.

“Not yet.” He muttered, and accepted his sparring clothing from the servants. This time it was simply a loincloth, a very sturdy one that won’t tear off during battle, and a few limb pieces to protect his arms and legs. There wasn’t much for the servants to see to this time so he threw a hint at Thrym and Thrym shooed them off.

When they were alone Thrym cleared his throat. “Are you ready for today? If you don’t want to do it you _are_ allowed to say so.”

“And give them the pleasure of thinking I’m scared? Not a chance.” 

Once he felt ready he let Thrym escort him down to the throne room.

The hall was already filled with people who stood about talking, nibbling on snacks and laughing political laughs. There were a few realms here and no doubt they were all taking advantage of being under one roof, looking for favours and throwing hints. Loki was sure he heard a dwarf whispering about being commissioned by King Balor to create a special Mjölnir for Nuada, but then he also heard someone say that Odin had admitted he should have married Laufey all those years ago. 

It didn’t even qualify as malicious lies, it was completely ridiculous codswallop 

Thrym greeted everyone for him as they passed through, until they got back to their table where the servants valiantly tried to get Loki to eat.

In a far corner of the hallway, Nuada stood, waiting for his father and sister to arrive. His father never liked for Nuada to see him struggle from old age, allowing his handmaidens and Nuala to aid him instead until he was successfully walking around for the day. There was no shame in it of course, Balor was far older than he had right to be, but the man still had his pride.

Nuada heard Thor before he saw him, and simply spotted the parting crowd to the right to find him. He was dressed up in his complete outfit, red cape flowing smoothly out behind him, Mjolnir swinging at his side. Thor saw him and they shared an awkward stare, then surprisingly Thor approached.

“Prince Nuada.” Thor greeted with a nod.

Nuada returned it, clasping his hands behind his back. “Prince Thor.”

Thor attempted a smile and hesitated with his hands, as if about to do the same, then thought better of it, and folded his bulging arms across his chest instead. He looked around at the people who quickly turned away when he looked at them. “I see the masses are excited.”

“They should be, this is a prestigious event.”

“Indeed.” Thor nodded again, “Very.”

Nuada inclined his eyebrows but said nothing, and kept any hostility out of his stance. No need to cause trouble, he’d leave that to Thor if that was his reason for approaching-

“Do you know anything about Loki?” Thor blurted.

*  
Despite their best attempts, Loki denied the food and chased off the servants. The potion was simmering in his gut and he never ate before a spar, it made one sluggish and lethargic. He wasn’t hungry anyway. Everyone else seemed to be having a great time stuffing their faces, being noisy and excited, making Loki all the more sour. They were all having fun at _his_ expense! 

“Fuckers.” He said for a third time.

“Huh?” Thrym leaned over to him, his eyes across the room. Loki jumped and shook his head, but followed his gaze to where the two foreign princes stood stiffly.

“What could they possibly be talking about?” Loki asked, rhetorically.

“Women?” Thrym replied, stupidly.

*  
Nuada blinked. “Loki?”

Thor looked at him, hesitating again, then shrugged nonchalantly. “Of his battle style. It’s good to know what you are facing.” He said, hypocritically.

“…No, I don’t.” Nuada said, calmly. “Can’t be hard to guess.” He offered. Loki was small and he possessed magic, so speed, agility and magic would most likely be his strong points. “You’ll see his style today when we spar, so you can prepare yourself for tomorrow.”

“I’m prepared enough.”

Nuada shot Thor a sideways glance. “There will always be something that leaves one unprepared.”

“I suppose.”

*  
“Think they’ll start fighting?” Thrym asked, grinning childishly as he stuffed food in his mouth.

Loki elbowed his arm. “Do you ever think seriousl- _eyy_!”

“SHH! There’s the princess!” Thrym hissed, pressing his hand over Loki’s face.

*  
The arrival of Balor and Nuala saved Nuada from answering, and he and Thor both bowed. “Father.”

“Your majesty.” Thor greeted, sharing a smile with Balor who smiled back genuinely, his arm tucked in Nuala’s.

“My princess,” Thor turned to Nuala, and offered out his hand. Nuada opened his mouth to protest but Nuala was already giving over her hand, giggling softly as Thor kissed it and grinned enchantingly. “I am sorry Prince Nuada, but the real jewel of Álfheimr’s royal family is this lovely lady right here.”

Balor chuckled as Nuala flamed and giggled, “You live up to your reputation. Your father was quite the same in his young days, flattering more maidens than he knew what to do with.”

Nuada barely managed not to grit his teeth into shards. 

*  
“Oh dear,” Loki started in mock horror, placing a concerned hand on Thrym’s arm, “Someone is moving in on your tiny Elf quim.”

Thrym fumed, his grin having fallen off the Bifrost. “Thor is here for _you_ , I ought to tell father.”

“Well it looks like they might fight now. I don’t think the Elf is any happier than you are.” Loki pulled his lips in thought, then blinked off to the side. “…You don’t think they partake in incest do they? Why else would father bring it up randomly?”

Thrym exaggerated a long groan. “ _What_? So I have to compete with _both_ of them for her? What kind of life is this?!”

Loki stared at him dryly. “Mine, Unfairheimr.”

Around their private inside drama, Laufey had arrived and had things start. The princes at the back separated, along with the crowd to their tables and a scribe came out to make introductions to the day.

Laufey found his way to his seat and gave Loki a thorough look-over. “Son, are you feeling well enough to participate?”

“ _Yes_.”

“No need to _spit_ ,” Laufey hissed back, “I am genuinely concerned. If there is anything bothering you speak now so we can fix it before you go out there.”

“I’m _fine_.” Loki sighed, slinking back in his chair in a spoilt manner, ignoring the Jotun talking above the crowds. He slunk back a little more when he remembered there were a hundred dozen eyes staring at him. At least this wouldn’t be his first public sparring, and he wasn’t particularly shy, so at least he had that.

But when he remembered what he was fighting to preserve, he couldn’t help the slight blush.

Before long there was a loud applause from the crowd and a prompt on his arm from Thrym. He looked up and saw everyone looking at him expectantly. He looked at his father and found his offering face, to back out or declare a problem to stall, but he shook his head discreetly and got up as soon as his legs let him. Laufey stood up a second after him and wrapped an arm around him, and guided him down to the floor as the spectators watched their every move, applauding.

As they made their way to the spot just in front of the battle floor, besides the weapons table that was already stocked, Loki saw Nuada coming forward as well, standing a few metres away. Laufey acknowledged him, and gestured to the scribe to move things along.

“The same rules apply,” the scribe called, “No fatal blows, no attempts on each other’s life, no asking for outside help, no leaving the designated area, no foul talking or verbal provocation. The aim of this particular match is to subdue, not to break.”

It was some relief, even if Loki didn’t want to admit it, and he hoped the rules would be repeated for Thor tomorrow. He was no coward of course, he wasn’t afraid to take a beating, but he didn’t relish the thought of having his bones snapped. His train of thought led him to Asgard’s table where Thor was indeed present, surrounded by his friends and family. Thor was staring at him, but his expression was calm and far too normal for Loki’s liking, especially when compared to his company who looked mighty eager to see the match underway.

Something must have been said to him for his father touched his shoulder and gestured to the weapon table. “Loki.” 

He looked up and nodded mechanically, hoping it was an acceptable response to whatever he said or asked. The crowd was dead quiet now and Laufey walked off back to his seat, leaving Loki behind to fight the urge to run off the floor as well. He could feel a thousand eyes on his back, Nuada’s and Thor’s especially, but forced himself forward to the weapons.

There where the same weapons as before, but most of it was useless to him. It wasn’t a throwing contest. He headed straight for a hand full of daggers and his own staff of choice. It wasn’t a lance per say, it was a little longer, but he was used to training with those and he could use it while putting space between them. And when all else failed he had his magic.

When done he stepped back and looked at Nuada, who only stepped forward when he was back in his spot. Like before he chose out the lance he’d used yesterday. Loki didn’t bother to question it, but there was no doubt Nuada knew how to use the damn thing.

They then took their places, and the crowd held their breaths. A horn blew, and the match began. 

A few moments crawled by, and Loki tried not to feel all the eyes on him, except for the pair facing down on him. Nuada looked focused, standing calmly a few arm lengths away, but Loki could see the spring in his step waiting to pounce.

So he pounced first.

Nuada dodged the swing of his staff without a problem and aimed his own as if expecting it. Loki blocked it and spun, swinging his fist, but meeting nothing but air. Nuada ducked under his arm and grabbed hold of his staff, but Loki used the grip to jump back as he kicked Nuada in the chest, then in the jaw as he flipped over onto the pads of his feet. The twist helped to release his weapon and he turned back quickly the moment he landed—never turn your back on the enemy.

They parted a few spaces and Nuada moved his jaw around, but it wasn’t a harsh blow, and Loki resisted the urge to glance at Nuala. He purposely hadn’t given thought to this problem as there was little other solution than giving up. No matter what tactic he used pain was inevitable.

This time Nuada moved first and aimed to topple Loki to his feet with a series of confusing low swings. He was good with the lance and swung it in a practiced manner, adding his feet in the rhythm and Loki soon came out panting from jumping and dodging. Then in the moment of a silly mistake, he tripped and gasped, a cold rush searing through his veins—but the hard floor never came. He hit into a warm solid landing and found himself against Nuada’s bare chest. He looked up for an embarrassed second into those dark eyes, then scrambling away to his feet and raised his weapon threateningly.

His heart beat loudly, and he wondered if Nuada’s was pounding too, or if this was only play to him. Nuada could have very easily incapacitated him right then and there, but he let him escape. Loki would have dived for the chance if he was Nuada, mercy could not be afforded here. But now all he was doing was smiling softly and pacing as he waited for the next round. Loki narrowed his eyes. 

In the blink of an eye he scooped up two daggers from his loin pouch and flung them forward. Nuada dodged the first by inches and blocked the second with his lance. The blade shot away with a bright spark and a cry from the crowd, and Nuada raised his brows in surprise at the attack, but his lips curved upwards; he must have thought it was good. Loki inhaled deeply to try get his breath back, then started forward again.

He lashed out with the serrated end of his weapon and this time Nuada met him half way. Their blades clashed and screeched sharply, and Loki pushed with all his might. When the other prince fell back a few steps he swung out with a leg at his head but Nuada bent over backwards, landing on his hands and propelling himself back onto his feet in a sleek manner nearly physically impossible for a Jotun. But not for Loki, he was built like Nuada, and for once, it genuinely pleased him now that he could see the beauty of it in another. _It wasn’t just him_. 

The moment Nuada was on his feet he struck out but Loki was ready and blocked it to the side and jabbed out his own staff, and it went on until Loki felt exhaustion nip at his heels. Loki hadn't faced an opponent like Nuada in a long time and he was barely capable of keeping up. He had always been fast and agile, able to evade his opponents, but Nuada brought that skill to a whole new level. Nuada was panting too but he controlled it better, keeping Loki on his toes. Loki didn’t train as often to have a high resistance, but he was doing his best and it was nothing sort of impressive.

But it soon became obvious that facing fire with fire wouldn’t work. They were using the same skill, and Loki didn’t want to lose the match by tripping again, so he focused his mind. Now ready to consult his magic, Loki struck out to get Nuada off his tail and jumped away enough to invoke his magic and created two doubles on either side of Nuada. They materialised quickly and distracted Nuada before he could pursue him.

The crowd was in awe and _ooh_ ed their approval as they gawked, while Nuada paused and looked between the three Loki’s. Loki would have made more but it would require energy he didn’t have to squander. His doubles didn’t wait a moment longer and charged, equipped with their own staffs. They were not worn out as he was and aimed at Nuada, who expectedly defended himself magnificently. 

Loki stood back to catch his breath and kept tabs on the doubles, directing them through his magic when they didn’t naturally pull a smart move he would have. But in the end it didn’t help as Nuada fought them both at the same time with little trouble, dodging daggers in the process that nearly stabbed some of the audience as they went rogue. If he could handle three of the best warriors of Jötunheimr, he obviously could handle two Loki’s—another thing Loki pointedly avoided thinking about.

Then Loki noticed the ferocity Nuada was suddenly battling with, swinging his lance heavily and slicing through the air sharply enough to cut through to the spirit world. It was as if he knew he couldn’t harm Loki through his doubles, and when he landed fully functional blows on them Loki realised he had been holding back against him, as if he couldn't handle it himself. Screw the rules, Nuada was holding back _too_ much, and it pissed him off. 

Scowling as the anger sizzled up inside him, Loki dropped his staff and barged forward. He ripped away his doubles with a wave of his hand, confusing Nuada who was in the heat of battle and with a heavy swing managed to catch Nuada with a punch on the face. It landed solidly and his heart bubbled warmly at the small victory, so he retracted his other fist and swung it a second later to compete the circle. He didn’t stop there and swung his leg, knocking out Nuada’s left leg and bringing him to his knees. His chest burned with satisfaction as the prince hit the floor, working in harmony with the dull burn in his belly he’d forgotten. He fabricated a solid staff in his hands and lifted it high with every intention of bringing it down on the Elf’s face, when Nuada knocked his own knees out from under him with a wide arc of his arm, but this time he hit the floor hard and immediately there was a heavy weight pinning him down. There went his chance at victory.

The crowd roared and applauded, but Loki was far from down and angrily threw up his forehead. He caught Nuada in the nose but he hadn’t been close enough to break it, but it was enough to break his hold. Loki elbowed him in the chest and rolled away the moment he could—but Nuada was upon him again.

He cried out furiously as Nuada caught his ankle and pulled him back. Loki turned on his back so not to grovel at the floor pathetically and tried to kick out, but Nuada caught his other leg and flipped him right back over. It knocked the air from his lungs and his ribs connected painfully to the floor, but before he could attempt anything Nuada was on top of him. 

_No, no, no this wasn’t supposed to be happening_! The hundreds of eyes were bearing down heavily on him, Loki could feel them burning into his skin to humiliate him further, bringing tears to his eyes. Nuada winning this guaranteed him a spot in Loki’s bed. The feel of him on his back made Loki shiver and conjured dirty images of what their nights would be like.

Nuada hooked his legs beneath Loki’s shins and sat on his calves and pulled Loki’s back up against his front where he forced Loki’s hands behind his back so they were kneeling together. Loki struggled to free his hands, he truly did, but this time Nuada wasn’t giving him a chance and it made his stomach jitter at the implication of how _not_ strong he truly was.

Panicking, Loki grabbed onto whatever skin he could reach and urged out an icy splash of frost bite. He gripped tightly to what felt like Nuada’s arm, but his flesh did not turn icy and hard, and Nuada twisted his arms uncomfortably behind his back, until his grip broke and wrists were secured in one hand. Loki choked on his breath as the prince swung his arm around his neck and tightened it, and from there they knelt, wiggling against each other until Loki realised he couldn’t escape. Breathing became difficult as Nuada leaned back and arched them out forward so Loki’s rising chest stuck out. 

He closed his eyes, he couldn’t look at the spectators. He couldn’t look into their faces in his defeat. Nuada had won him.

Nuada was firm and warm against him, secured tightly and determinedly, but not painfully. It hadn’t been a very long match and Loki’s heart sunk as he imagined the talk that would go on tonight. He only hoped he hadn’t looked too much like a failure.

Giving in with some dignity, Loki relaxed and gave his weight to Nuada to signal his surrender. The Elf glanced down at him curiously, then up at Laufey who rose to assess the situation. This wasn’t like the first match, it wasn’t right for the princes to win over Loki by hitting him so hard that he was knocked out—he had to be _subdued_ instead. And Nuada aced it. 

Loki opened his eyes sadly at the sound of someone approaching and looked up at his father with small eyes. Laufey smiled down at him, then smiled wider at Nuada.

“Well done, Nuada. Loki almost had you there a few times.”

The crowd bellowed out their mixed opinions at Nuada’s victory, and Nuada quickly released Loki. Laufey intercepted to help Loki to his feet and held up his son’s hand to the crowd proudly, and Nuada nodded his own approval for Loki had earned it. But Loki didn’t feel he had done anything to agree and stood glancing around with watery red eyes.

The strange faces all had various reactions on them but most were happy, satisfied, and Loki wondered how many of them made money on Nuada’s victory. He didn’t dare look at Asgard’s table, or his own for that matter, and grit his teeth to keep from tearing further.

“He is a brilliant opponent, my king.” Nuada said, and took himself down on one knee. Laufey brought down Loki’s hand and nudged closer so as to give Nuada his attention. Loki jumped and blinked, befuddled, as Nuada placed a hand across his chest to his heart and bowed his head. “Please accept my apology for any pain our spar has inflicted.”

“…I’m not that delicate.” Loki breathed, and winced as Laufey pinched him. Truthfully he realised he wanted to apologize to Nuala for the same thing, he couldn’t bare to look over at Álfheimr’s table right now. Nevertheless when Nuada looked up he nodded to show he accepted his apology. His shoulders ached slightly and his ribs, but it was nothing the healers couldn’t take away in a flash.

“Congratulations Prince Nuada, you’ve won your spot. Let’s celebrate!” Laufey grinned at the crowd who was ever so happy to comply, then petted Loki. “Loki, go with the healers.” 

Loki allowed himself to be taken away by the two healers that came forth to fetch him. He didn't bother to argue and followed them away into a private room where they examined him for physical damage, but there was none. They healed any bruises and light abrasions with a quick fix of magic and he felt as good as new, just a little exhausted. The simmering in his belly was dim and manageable, so he left as soon as possible should they want to pry further.

And like his father ordered the afternoon before, he was expected to stay around and talk to the princes. There were guards waiting to escort him back to the throne room, crushing his short-lived hope of sneaking off. Every step back into the commotion made him want to shrink back more, but he couldn’t show weakness now, even after his defeat.

Once situated in the hall, but near the far entrance, Loki hovered hesitantly. All around him people were either acting like they were giving him respect and space, or they were taking in as much of him as possible and urging the person next to them to go speak to him. There was interest on their faces, there was no denying that, but if it came any closer he’d turn into a cornered animal.

Being intuitive, his eyes travelled across the room to the right, finding the Elf twins standing together and looking his way. Nuala smiled and waved immediately, her right arm linked in Nuada’s. Nuada smiled too and Nuala said something to him and he looked unsure, and Loki realised he was probably expected to return the greeting or seem rude. But when trying to muster just a wave of a finger or twitch of the mouth, he found it oddly difficult. The pair where looking at him, looking increasingly alike, and he felt his gut drop when Nuala started forward, Nuada in tow.

Besides not knowing what to say to Nuada, his mind went blank on how to approach the issue with Nuala. Was she okay? He suddenly didn’t feel as confident about the hits he got in on Nuada, he did _not_ want to see her with wounds he inflicted, even indirectly. 

“Loki! There you are.” 

Loki jumped at the boom of his father’s voice and turned to be enveloped against his father’s chest. He was about to shoot out a complaint when his eyes caught on the shining colours of Asgard. He followed them up into Thor’s face and froze.

“Did the healers do their job?” Laufey asked.

“Yes.” Loki breathed, stuck in Thor’s gaze, which wasn’t as hostile as Loki expected. If anything he seemed to be attempting to be orderly. 

Laufey glanced between them and smiled, then nudged Loki toward Thor. “Good. Then a little quality time shouldn’t hurt.”

“Thank you, King Laufey.” Thor nodded and shared a smile, and Laufey took off. Loki stiffened further when his father’s warmth disappeared, but he resisted looking after him, which left him to take in the mountain that was Thor.

“Prince Loki.” Thor said, formally.

Loki forced apart his lips. “Prince Thor.”

“You were impressive today. You shocked us all with your form conjuring, I couldn’t do that in my furthest dreams.”

Was that a compliment? Loki blinked. “My...don’t your mages know of that magic?” 

“Yes, I suppose, but there is little use for it day to day. Mother said it takes a great deal of energy to hold, so I can’t imagine it would be useful other than for entertainment.”

Was that an insult? Loki blinked again. “…I just like it.”

Thor smiled. “It’s incredible, no doubt, Prince Loki. I look forward to the challenge.”

Loki didn’t know if to find offense or give thanks, and Thor’s expression was composed stiffly, you could see the effort. It was almost obvious he didn’t want to be there talking to him, but he was masking it well. Loki knew how he felt, but he could imagine Thor was doing a better job of hiding it than he was. Come to think of it, they had some common ground, unless Thor was sadistic enough to know he could still gain satisfaction and pleasure from the situation and was waiting for Loki to be his.

Then, Thor smiled a little wider, a small twinkle flitting past his eyes. “Do you…Do you remember Asgard?”

Well, that was one of the other common grounds they had. And to add to the list, terrible fathers.

“A little,” he answered honestly.

“Do you remember Idunn’s garden that we snuck into?” 

Loki frowned and smiled a little at the odd question, but he was sad to admit he remembered the name more, largely due to reading about it in his studies. 

“With the golden apples.” Thor pressed, looking for something Loki couldn’t identify.

“A little?” he offered, stretching his memory. “I remember lots of…green.” Oh Asgard had a lot of beautiful green, if you looked past all the gold. He fell in love with the colour the moment he got there, and he remembered being in a place where green was beneath his feet and on the trees and- _oh_ , yes, it was called a garden. “I think, it was long ago.” Truthfully Loki was a little narcissistic, and if he didn’t remember Thor or Odin all that much maybe it’s because he was focused on his experience with so much diversity. Not to mention he was just a little child, he can’t be expected to focus on _everything_. The land just happened to seem more interesting at the time.

“I remember you.” Thor said, looking cheerful despite Loki’s answer. “Granted I remembered mostly that you were blue, but…I had never bothered to ask my father why I never saw you again.”

“You didn’t think to ask your father why you have memories of a Jotun in your gardens?” Loki would have earned a clout on the head in Laufey was here. On that thought, he searched Thor’s face for any sign that he was offended and possibly holding back a violent reply.

“Did you think to question your father about why you’d visited Asgard?” Thor shot back, calmly.

“I did,” Loki droned, “He said he had a few loose ends to tie up with Odin politically and that I didn’t want to be left alone so he took me with. No one had said otherwise.”

It was Thor’s turn to blink. “Oh.”

On the matter of political ends, Loki remembered the Elf twins, and that they had been on their way toward him. He looked back but there was no sign of them. 

Thor followed his gaze briefly. “So…yes, you were impressive today.”

It sounded like he thought if he said the words enough he’d believe them. Loki looked back up at him, and finally took in the graceful blue colour of Thor’s eyes. It was not like the Jotun-blue, Thor’s blue was the colour of the Asgard sky, bright and calm, and it was highlighted well by the yellow hair on his face, reminding Loki of the sun. Thor was a perfect product of Asgard, Loki _supposed_ he was handsome, technically. He was big and broad and…heavy set and…oozing masculinity and demanding awe…

His mind attacked him with an image of a Jotun child with Thor’s blue eyes and yellow hair, leaving him to stare through Thor’s face. He’d read of Aesir-Jotun hybrids, but they usually came out with more Jotun traits than Aesir traits, black hair, usually red eyes and light blue skin. And more often than not it was Aesir men that impregnated Jotuns. The only record he’d found of an Aesir woman birthing a Jotun was not a very nice story, telling the tale of how her husband went short on his deal with some Jotuns and gave them his wife as compensation. She was said to have, and Loki had never forgotten the crude words off that damned page, “ _shrieked for Death to come onto her as the giant came in onto her_ ,” and “ _and shrieked as Death finally came onto her as out from her life sprouted_.” It was the most morbid tale of interracial conception and birth he’d ever read, and he wondered if Thor planned to make him feel what she had felt. 

Outside his trance Thrym made an appearance before Thor could get too uncomfortable. 

“Prince of Asgard! How fare thee on this auspicious occasion?” Thrym threw an arm around Loki, successfully snapping him out his thoughts, but into action as well. He struck out and hit Thrym in the face, eliciting a loud _smack_ and cry of surprise. Thor jumped back as if he’d been the one struck and Thrym grabbed onto Loki despite pawing at his face.

“ _Ooow_ , Lo-ki. The next battle is only tomorrow.” 

Loki panted lightly, and looked between them. He couldn’t afford to start zoning out in public, the last time he did Thrym had managed to replace the book in his lap from _Secrets of Urðr’s Well_ to _A Guide of Dwarven Courting Rituals_. The court had laughed for weeks. Though this time, he might end up _in_ someone’s lap.

“You okay there?” Thrym asked seriously, releasing Loki when he was standing straight.

“Yes, sorry. I’m still...in battle.” Loki blushed at the look on Thor’s face, as if Loki had grown a tail and claws to go with his abrupt ferocity.

“Tough one this one.” Thrym said affectionately, and attempted to hug Loki again. Thor chuckled softly as he looked between them, but he still looked unsure. It was an odd face for the prince of Asgard, but really what did Loki know about the faces he could make? _Dear Norns_ …

“Prince Thrym, as the future King of Jötunheimr have you a mate?” Thor very nearly said _bride_ but the thought of calling a Jotun a bride was ridiculous, more so the image of one of them in traditional white drapes and flowers. He and Fandral had once laughed themselves sick at the thought of it, but looking at Loki, it suddenly didn’t seem so implausible. His father wasn’t _all_ wrong, Loki could be put into drapes with his slim limbs, but…it would still look odd.

“A mate? No, I’m waiting for a special beauty.” Thrym fluttered his eyelashes and looked off with a dramatic sigh. Loki blushed harder as Thor looked over him with a questioning gaze. Loki didn’t want to know what was going through his mind. 

“Every king needs a queen, do not wait too long to find one.” Thor said, softly, and caught Loki’s gaze. It wasn’t the calm one from before, there was a slight darkness in it that reminded Loki that Thor’s sulky demeanour wasn’t gone, but wrapped up.

“The reward of being king is having the happiness of your people, and the beauty of your queen to yourself.” Thrym said, quoting one of their grandfathers, one Loki had never particularly liked because he had always scolded him for wanting to train with his brothers.

“Aye.” Thor looked uncomfortable now, and looked over Thrym this time as if trying to find something. 

Loki squirmed uncomfortably out of Thrym’s arms, but didn’t manage to glare at him in time before Thrym continued.

“Thor, I must congratulate you on your victory yesterday, you rattled a few nerves.”

Loki rolled his eyes in disgust and Thor seemed to brighten at the compliment. “Thank you. Your warriors were worthy opponents.”

“Loki will be too,” Thrym said hurriedly and patted Loki on the back. “He’s a force to be reckoned with when motivated.”

Loki looked up sharply. What was Thrym saying? Was he _trying_ to piss off Thor? It was a silent rule, you don’t taunt the Odinsons on battle unless you were ready for it. He was going to try his best to show Thor he was not weak, but he didn’t need Thrym spewing provocations to rile Thor up.

“Power isn’t always measured by size.” Thor agreed, surprisingly, and gave Loki a small smile. “My mother has always said that.”

“Your mother is lovely. I mean, Queen Frigga. I mean she’s a lovely lady, for an Aesir-I mean-she’s-Queen Frigga is all she’s said to be.” Thrym ended stiffly, but Thor just laughed.

“Thank you. I will pass on your compliment.”

“I love females. They’re interesting and… nice-looking…?”

Loki couldn’t hide his twisted expression even if he tried. Thrym looked out of sorts for once and Thor laughed again, despite the brothers fearing Thrym’s big mouth had crossed a line. At least he veered from the word ‘pretty’. Loki was tried of hearing it, especially now that Thrym was constantly linking it to females.

“I can’t imagine how you live without them, Thrym.” Thor said, honestly, and looked back to where Sif sat with the Warriors Three. The Laufeysons followed his gaze. “Women are indeed divine, but one of the hardest battles in life.”

“I can understand that. Once they have children they just get all grumpy and stern,” Thrym said, thinking about his brothers and their mates, “Do _they_ get like that?”

“They get like that for a few days around the lunar cycle, and yes, after children.” Thor chuckled, his eyes finding Loki who was looking ready to turn into ice. “But it’s only because they work hard to keep their families happy. A mother’s job is not one I envy.”

“Hear hear.”

Loki wanted to punch them both. 

“But I have deep admiration for those that do it.” Thor amended, giving Loki an awkward smile. Loki could imagine what he was thinking, for he was thinking it too. He could very well end up with a belly full of Thor’s child in a few days time if he wasn’t taking the potion, and the discussion will not be based around others, but on them. He wasn’t ready for the discussion, and he wasn’t ready for the real thing. Gods bless that potion.

“Indeed! Thor I hear you can swallow mugs of ale in one gulp, is it true?”

Thrym switched topics as quickly as their father switched lovers. While irritable, Loki was glad for the change of topic. Sometimes Thrym infuriated him with his habit of trying to force peace and agreement on a topic. Thrym didn’t like disagreements, and this was not one of the times Loki would be able to go along with. Agree to disagree. 

Again he looked around for the Elf couple but they were no where in sight. Perhaps it was agreed it was Thor’s turn to speak with him, but it was already unbalanced as Nuada had barely a few minutes with him yesterday before Odin stepped in. 

“I myself excel at the art of drinking,” Thrym’s boasting cut into Loki’s thoughts, and he looked between Thrym and Thor.

“Seeing as how things are, I would not reject seeing it.” Thor said with a challenging smile. “But it will have to wait until the trials are over.”

“Of course! We can’t have you falling around the battle floor.” Thrym laughed, nudging Loki as if he should too.

“Mjölnir must be kept far from me should I get to that stage, I’d hate to damage your home in drunken exploits.”

“It would be a sight though,” 

Loki debated just marrying them, and pictured Thrym as a mother, to Thor’s babies. Gigantic blue babies with fuzzy yellow hair sticking out of every orifice as they drooled rivers and smashed everything for no reason at all. He chortled before he could stop himself.

The larger pair looked at him. Thrym smiled widely. “Share the joke?”

One look at Thrym sent Loki laughing again and he covered his mouth with his hands. He tormented himself by looking at Thor, and lowered his gaze to his feet and shook his head as the laughter rattled him. Thor and Thrym shared an amused look.

“On second thought, my little brother can create rather biting comments, I don't want to hear it. My poor ears are delicate.”

“Delicate is the last term I'd find around you, dear Prince Thrym.”

The three princes turned to see Nuala, smiling sweetly with a tease in her eyes, directed at Thrym, who nearly swooned. Thor and Thrym bowed immediately, mumbling respectful greetings, and fought for her hand. After a few collisions of their own hands they each settled on the hand on their corresponding side, leaving Loki to disappear into the background. That's when he realised Nuada was just besides Nuala, glaring at the other two males as if they were groping his sister. No one seemed to see him, making him glower, and tickle Loki's funny bone as they were both excluded for the sake of one female.

“My princess, would you like a drink?” Thrym asked, grinning down at her with half lidded eyes.

“Yes, please.” she smiled, and dropped her gaze to acknowledge Loki with a wider smile. He smiled back nervously and searched her face for any damage, but there was nothing to be found. No bruises, no cuts, and neither had Nuada. It brought him a little comfort, but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize in front of everyone, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Perfect. Thor the drinks are that way.” Thrym pointed in a random direction and gave Nuala a charming smirk. Nuada cleared his throat and pulled Nuala against him.

“Gentleman,” he greeted pointedly.

“Prince Nuada,” both Thor and Thrym greeted, as if surprised. Loki laughed, despite his reservations and blush for Nuada, and they all looked at him again.

“I think someone's had a little _too_ much drink.” Thrym teased, but looked slightly concerned.

“I haven't drunk anything,” Loki replied quickly. He didn't want everyone to think he was a drunk, he still had his dignity, and he’d be keeping it. 

“Drinking won't be good for conception.” Nuala said, ruining any chance of the next smile Loki had been prepared to give her. The others seemed to notice and Nuada gave her a squeeze.

“I'm sure a drink today won't be disastrous.” He gave Loki a small smile, but if he thought he was giving his permission, he had another thing coming.

“I'll drink if I want to.” Loki bit, looking away so not to glare straight at Nuala. 

“I er, congratulations, Nuada. And Loki. Today's match was amazing.” Thrym interjected, patting Loki's shoulder. “I look forward to tomorrow’s.”

The group shared a murmur of interest that Loki wanted to tune out, but the four pairs of eyes were subtly demanding attention and he was forced to comply—when had he become a masochist? But when he looked, he wanted nothing more than to leave. Thrym was stuck looking worriedly between him and Nuala, Thor and Nuala were staring at him, and Nuada glancing between him and Thor while trying to press Nuala into his being. 

Nuada had won his right to Loki, that was a sealed deal. He won his right to have Loki as his own, but tomorrow would show whether he got to have _all_ of Loki, or _half_. Loki was not looking forward to the next match, he would go onto that battle floor and lose his protection from being touched by another man, and thus spend time trying to procreate with both of them. At least if Thor lost tomorrow he would only have to submit to the Elf for a while until it was deemed fruitless. But Thor was going to win, Loki's gut knew it.

“I can't wish you luck, Prince Loki,” Thor started, an apologetic smile playing over his handsome face, “For it's prudent I win.”

Loki stared into his blue eyes, knowing there was always the calm before the storm. ' _You're going to enjoy this aren't you, you bastard_.'

“ _Should_ you win tomorrow, the true victory is still to come.” Nuada said stiffly, this time watching Thor. Thor looked back at him silently and the tension jumped a notch.

“Nuala! I love babies. What are your thoughts on babies?” Thrym asked loudly, moving his hands more than necessary as if to diffuse the tension in the air.

“They're loud, wet and need constant attention.” Loki answered, staring at Thrym, but making sure his tone caught the attention of the others.

“Much like a mate.” Thrym said with a boisterous laugh. This time it was his turn to be stared at. Loki gawked as if he had lost his mind and Thor looked equally as shocked. Nuala was red in the face and Nuada looked scandalized in a way Loki didn't think was possible for him.

Thrym must have realised that what he said was far out of bounds as his entire demeanour dropped, being crushed down by Nuada's gaze and his regret. 

“Nuala, go check on Father.” Nuada ordered.

“I-” 

“I said go check on Father.” He repeated sternly. His mood was clear as day and she left immediate without parting words to the other princes. 

Thrym quickly placed his hands together. “I'm sorry I-”

“Prince Thrym I am not a prig. But you cannot speak such vulgarity in front of my sister.”

“I know, it just slipped out-”

“I don't care.” Loki and Thor winced quietly, trying to look elsewhere as Nuada glowered. “And as it happens I don't think it's respectful to say such things in front of Loki whilst in my and Thor's company either.” Thor and Loki looked up. “They're not tavern women, and this is not a common game. I would appreciate if you watched your tongue.”

“I will, I'm sorry…” Thrym cringed, and nodded. “You're right. Sorry Loki.” he peeked an apologetic glance at Loki.

Loki shifted uncomfortably, but from the scolding his brother received and the acknowledgement that he was classified with females. He had worried purely about what the foreigners would think about Thrym’s mindless blurting, and that they would possibly be offended. But he hadn't taken offence to the words himself at first, until Nuada mentioned it. And while he could handle being teased, Nuada was right, now was not the time for such things. He was still edgy and the reminder of it all was not exactly welcomed.

But Thrym looked as sorry as he sounded and Loki believed him. He wasn't a cruel-humoured man, he was just a loudmouth.

“Thrym didn’t mean ill,” Loki defended, “He just doesn’t always think before talking. I’m sure he’s very sorry.” He shot Thrym a pointed glare for good measure.

Nuada nodded, looking a little troubled. “I understand, but next time it might be someone of higher importance he speaks in front of. Best he learns now.”

“Higher importance?” Thor asked, looking amused, “We three are going to be kings soon, who of higher importance is there?”

Nuada blinked resentfully at him, and Loki looked away with a scowl. “We’re not kings _yet_ , Prince Thor, and we’re not above the laws and ethics of the realms. Unless the Norns have placed Asgard in their echelon you would do well to remember that.” 

Loki had to look right around to hide his glee.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so chuffed with all the support, you guys are amazing. I’m over the moon! Or how I like to say, _higher than the Bifrost._
> 
> If Nuada seems a little stiff or a kill-joy, it’s not because he is. He’s taking this seriously and formally, and he’s much more mature than the others so what seems ‘cool’ to them as come and gone with him. He knows his goals, his obstacles and his responsibilities and he’s going to uphold them. He’ll loosen up when with Loki on their own.


	7. Trial Two Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki faces Thor, and himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> I spent most of the last week fixing my gazillion errors. Ugh there were so many I’m so sorry people, and I doubt I caught them all. I'm not Ash.
> 
> Please forgive my bad grammar, my spelling, my plot, and characterization <3 if you can't, there are many better fics to read. Thanks all~

**Chapter 7: Trial Two Part 2**

Loki awoke to a sick feeling in his gut, and he hadn't even taken the potion yet. He blinked groggily at the ceiling for a while, feeling the minute threads of the furs poking at him whilst a dozen voices in the back of his mind screamed at him about the upcoming day.

 _Thor Odinson_.

No, he didn't want to think about it. Block it out. Block it out.

There was already light coming from outside, making him bare his teeth. The servants would arrive soon, but if it weren't for them Loki would have stayed in bed. He needed to take his potion before he lost the chance and his privacy, so with as much strength as he could muster he dragged himself out of bed, reciting why it was necessary.

There were no aches from yesterday, he hadn't taken much of a beating, but he doubted he'd be so lucky today.

 _Today_.

Once he gulped down the potion, successfully making his insides feel worse, he leaned against the wall and tried to breathe evenly. 

In.

Out. 

In.

Out.

In.

In.

I _n_.

 _Out_! Dammit...he needed to stay calm. It was just another match. What was the problem?

 _It's Thor_ , a little voice whispered in the back of his mind. The hooligan long despised all around Jötunheimr. 

Was it okay to be afraid? No, he wasn't afraid...weary, yes...but not afraid. He survived the Elf prince, surely he would survive this. However, Thor's battle style entailed being up close and personal in a match, while Loki liked to have his space. He hated being smothered. He'd have to pull a Nuada and wear Thor out before going on the offensive.

Despite the rules placed to protect him and his _delicate_ nature, he was sure he'd be struck anyway. Thor had tree trunks for arms and legs and not the focus to keep track of them constantly. In fact swinging them seemed to be part of his fighting style. Heavy weapons where easy to lose control of.

The only thing that kept Loki from fretting was the fact that he would win in the _end_. Thor would probably win today, and he'd have the pleasure of defiling him, _the beast_ , but the needed result would not come. _That_ would be Loki's victory. He could do this, he had to, it would all be worth it. It would be worth it.

There was a knock on his door and Loki jerked away from the wall, releasing his stomach guiltily. He opened his mouth to answer but he couldn't find his voice. Why couldn’t they just _know_ to come in? Did he have to be bothered with everything? After a pause the servants entered anyway, accompanied by Thrym.

“Good morning, Prince Loki.” The two servants greeted, immediately setting Loki's clothing on the bed. Loki looked down at it in distaste.

“Little brother.” Thrym said, then added to the servants, “I'll see to the rest, give us some space.”

They relented and quickly left, and Thrym shut the door.

Loki deflated a little, but resisted pawing at his stomach as it actually started to growl around the twisting. It was loud and Thrym chuckled. Loki blushed.

“Hungry?”

“It seems so,” Loki glanced at his stomach as if it had betrayed him. For some reason eating when distressed made him feel inept. 

Thrym held up a finger and open the door, and stuck out his head. “Loki needs something to eat! Get it here in two minutes!” he shouted.

Loki smiled a strained smile and turned to properly examine his attire, seeing nothing different but the colouring of the stitches. Thrym shut the door again and went over, leaning a little to look into Loki's face.

“You seem awfully reserved.” he noted after a moment.

Loki frowned, and shrugged.

Thrym frowned too. “...He isn't allowed to hurt you.”

“I'm not scared of pain.” Loki muttered.

“...Of him?”

Loki sighed, realising how irritable he felt. His stomach had settled a little as he remained upright, but now felt like it had turned into a block of ice. “No.”

“He doesn't seem that bad. He must be the type of person you only like once you get to know them.”

“Then go enjoy yourself.” Loki said, half hoping Thrym would leave.

“I will,” Thrym laughed, and dared to nudge Loki on the arm. “Come on, get dressed.”

Loki didn't know why he was feeling so irritable, but held back barking at Thrym and obediently began to shed his sleeping tunic. He was bare beneath it, but he was in no mood to humour any silliness of his being naked around others, and continued to dress silently.

Thrym watched him in equal silence, never able to keep from admiring Loki anyway. But in doing so, Loki's overall body language was difficult to miss.

“Do you want me to rig the match?” he asked softly.

“Don't be silly.” Loki frowned, slipping on his arm pieces. A dull burn began in his hands and along with a small burn in his chest. It _felt_ real, but Loki knew it was fuelled by emotion. By _anger_.

“I hate it when you're grumpy.”

Thrym reached out, but Loki stepped away with a warning glance. “Don't. Thrym, not now.” One would think Thrym would act this age, being the eldest, but his big sad eyes still had their effect. Loki looked away with a scowl. “I'm just...I don't have a good feeling about today. I can't explain it.” He didn’t have a good feeling period.

“You seemed okay at bed time.” Thrym sat on the bed as Loki adjusted his loincloth.

“People can't be happy all the time, Thrym.”

Someone knocked at the door and a moment later it opened for a servant carrying some fresh breads and meats.

“That was fast.” Thrym smiled, and beckoned the plate over.

“We wish Prince Loki to have strength.” the servant said as he placed the plate next to Thrym on the bed, giving Loki a smile.

Loki winced back at him and nodded hurriedly to get him out. “Yes, thank you. Thank you.” The urge to yell at someone was only growing, now that he acknowledged it he suddenly felt so _angry_! Thrym was right, he wasn't like this last night, he had been rather docile, a little blank if anything. But now anger was bubbling in his blood, and acknowledging it was only making it worse.

“Look! They got the hehmer leftovers for you, that's your favourite isn't it? Loki?”

“Sorry.” Loki said, matter-of-factly, before punching Thrym in the face. Thrym yelped and lost the meat he was holding, slapping a hand to his face and the other to hold off Loki.

“What is that?!” he yelled, “What did I do to you?”

“Oh, please, don't lie and say that hurt. How many times have you teased me saying my punches don't hurt.” Loki punched his arm twice more, harder than before. “I need to vent.” he said, then whined as Thrym grabbed his fists to restrain him.

“Calm down-”

“I'm not calming down!”

“Okay, okay, eat first!” Thrym yanked Loki's hands down between his thighs, forcing him to kneel. He ignored Loki's struggling and squeezed both his hands into his right hand so he could grab a piece of warm bread. He held it up to Loki's face. “Open.”

Loki ground his teeth together sourly. “Let me go, Thrym.”

“Come on,” Thrym made pouty lips, “Eat your food then you can punch me.”

“ _Thrym_ ,” Loki whined, pulling on his hands in an equally childish manner. Now that the food was there wafting through the room his stomach growled again as if agreeing with Thrym, but there was a wild rage storming inside his veins that he wanted to release. He debated creating a double to hit Thrym from behind, but between his hunger, the ever churning of his stomach and his unfocused emotion it proved impossible.

He slumped on his calves and hung back by his arms. “Uhhhh.”

Thrym leaned over and forced the bread into his mouth. “There we go. Next I'll teach you how to drink.”

Loki glared daggers at him as he chewed, and opened his mouth pointedly when done. Thrym continued to feed him.

“So you just woke up grumpy?”

Loki nodded, wincing as his stomach pulled at the intake of food. He hadn't been eating very well as of late, and finally it caught up.

“But you're not scared of Thor, are you? I don't want you going out there to face him if you're-”

“I'm not-!” Loki cut off with a muffled whine as Thrym silenced him with a large chunk of bread. 

“Eat. The servants have been whispering you're trying to starve yourself. Apparently bone is beautiful on the other realms. Well not here. Big is beautiful.” he forced another piece of meat between Loki's lips for emphasis.

Loki stared at him with his mouth full, then started to say something that was too incoherent to understand, his brow twisted. Thrym flicked his nose, earning an angry growl and another struggle.

“Our dam was plump, and he was the envy of all father's brothers.”

Loki forced down the food painfully, gasping for breath. He turned his face away when Thrym aimed another mouth full. “Give me a s-second.” he panted, developing another scowl as he stared off in thought. “And I am _not_ starving myself for the _princes_.”

“But you _are_ starving yourself?” Thrym fished, managing to nudge another strip of meat into Loki's mouth. It was too tasty to turn away, it _was_ his favourite.

“ _ **No**_. I am not.” Loki said firmly around chews, leaving no room for doubt. He most certainly would not starve himself to look appealing for anyone (but himself), least of all those princes. “Unlike _someone_ I can't eat when disturbed.”

“Eating heals when disturbed.” Thrym chuckled, but nodded in defeat and pulled Loki up to sit on the bed besides him. Loki squirmed to do so on his own, but accepted the plate for a few last pieces. His stomach was no longer churning as bad as before, and the food seemed to have dulled the burning from the potion.

“...Just know you have an army who would jump in and slaughter Odinson if he really hurt you. Our people love you.”

Loki sighed through his nose and shook his head. “They love what I am. Not me. Everyone loves _what_ I am, not _who_ I am.”

“...If so, they're missing out.”

Loki turned a surprised blink to Thrym, but he was already getting up with a grin. “Come on, let's go make mother proud.”

The memory of his dam always made Loki smile, for many reasons, some sad as well as happy. He allowed Thrym a smile, the anger having drifted off silently during their talk, and shoved a last strip of meat into his mouth before following Thrym off.

Outside the guards walked the corridors, looking for suspicious people and guiding the lost. They passed a few dwarves and Vanir on the way, none of which dared to stop them in greeting. Thrym smiled politely anyway and before long they were at the back entrance of the throne room. The doors were open and it was already occupied, filled with more diversity than Loki had ever seen before.

“Wait,”

Thrym looked down at him. “Icicle? _Ow_!”

“I told you to never call me that!” Loki punched him again for good measure. “I'm going to piss.” And just like that the fiery anger inside him flamed once more.

“You are so grumpy!” Thrym whined, but turned to stalk into the throne room as he rubbed his injured ribs. The guards chuckled at them, earning a glower from Loki as he stormed off to the lavatories. 

He ignored everyone he passed on the way, not giving a fuck which royal he passed, and pushed into the lavatory heavily. There was a guard in there, and he greeted Loki with a nod.

“Get out.” Loki greeted back.

“My Prince? I've been stationed—”

“I said, _get out_.” Loki hissed out the last words, pointing at the door. The guard hesitated, then bowed his head and left. As soon as the door shut him out Loki turned and screamed, punching the wall. The outer ice coating cracked and flaked off, and he dumped his head against it, flattening his other palm against the wall as he panted angrily. 

A little voice inside him told him to store his anger for when he faced Thor, but he had never felt anything like this and frankly he didn't know how to control it. He had the maddening urge to kill something and destroy the biggest hunk of ice he could find, but at the same time he wanted to claw at the walls and scream until he passed out.

Breathing through his nose, he pushed off the wall and glanced at the stalls available. He really only needed to relieve his bladder so he slinked over to the public chamber pots available, and struggled slightly to release himself in the sturdy clothing. He shimmied up to rest his forehead against the wall as he urinated, closing his eyes. His shoulders were tensed and bunched up, he wished he had a specific reason for being so taunt, he was usually calm and collected. 

Maybe he was becoming like Thor, maybe it was a defense mechanism his psyche was introducing to help him. Or maybe he was indeed terrified, but he was too proud to admit it, and the truth was seeping out.

Once done, he shook clean and tucked himself away, and reached to the cloth available to wipe his hands. He chuckled to himself at the thought of not wiping them and going to rub his Jotun dick hands over Thor's face, and confess to him later when no one was looking to see his reaction.

“You always did have a nice laugh.”

Loki spun with a start. His neck craned immediately, finding one of the last people he would hope to see, let alone be stuck with in the lavatories. 

Helblindi smiled. “You should be nicer to the guards, they live to protect you and your family.”

“Helblindi,” Loki swallowed, instantly moving towards the door, “It's er...-” Before he could comprehend what had happened he was backed into a wall, the door so close yet so far. He looked up across the broad expanse of Helblindi's chest and shivered at his expression, clearly filled with longing.

Helblindi had been pining over him since before he came of age. Loki had once given the idea a thought, but Helblindi was much too possessive, and he did not know about personal space. Those were two things that bothered Loki the most in general, making Helblindi an automatic turn off.

“I will forever regret my failure at not defeating Thor. Please forgive me.”

He had been one of the warriors to face Thor. Had he gone down first, or last? Loki couldn't remember.

“It's okay—”

“No, it isn't.” Helblindi lifted a hand and cupped Loki's head, tilting it further. He rubbed his large thumb over Loki's cheek, looking deeply into his face as if it were full of wonder. Loki blinked, worriedly, stiff as ice. “They don't deserve this. _You_. You're too beautiful to be sullied by their filthy claws.” His tone grew dark at the end, to a frightening degree. “An Elf and Odinson...Disgusting.” His breath reached Loki’s, mingling in a hot puff.

That was enough. Loki squirmed out of his grip and ducked under his arm towards the door. He made it a few blind steps, his heart pounding in his ears, when he hit into another body. Shock flushed through his veins and he held his breath as he looked up, expecting the worst, perhaps one of Helblindi's supporters…

It was the guard.

Loki sighed loudly in relief at his presence, and suddenly wished he had indeed been nicer.

Despite that, the guard glared at Helblindi. “Prince Loki is being searched for.” He gave Loki a pointed look, “The match will start soon.”

“Yes, thank-thank you.” Loki side stepped around him to the door, but his instinct told him not to part with Helblindi on a rude basis, it might come back to knock him down. He spread a small smile across his face, hoping it didn't look superficial, and bowed slightly. “Till next time, Helblindi.”

“May you win, Loki.” Helblindi bowed back, his gaze flickering to the guard that stood stiffly between them.

Loki nodded, and mumbled a vague 'thank you' to the guard before rushing out. He turned down the opposite way he came, lost in thought. That meeting could have been awkward, and at the worst, dangerous. He wasn't under-age any more and nor was he mated to anyone, Helblindi was allow to express his longing and lust for him. If that guard hadn't walked back in, Loki might not have come out. 

Of course Helblindi wasn't _allowed_ to do anything to him, even with his permission, but people did terrible things when possessive and desperate.

Then like a blade through silk, Frigga's voice cut through his musings, stern and short clipped. It commanded Loki to a stop and he held his breath out of habit so not to be heard. The sound was coming from right around the corner, and he edged closer to the wall as quietly as possible.

“Thor, Thor I said look at me.”

“I am, Mother.” he answered, grumbling. Loki peeked slowly around the corner, finding Thor avoiding his dam’s eyes, shifting impatiently from foot to foot. He was dressed without his armour or cape, and neither had he his hammer. Frigga was dressed up extra special today to support her son, but she didn’t look as happy as one would expect.

“I don’t care what they said, you are not going to humiliate that boy— _Thor look at me_!”

“I am!”

“I am sympathizing with you as much as possible but I will not cheer you amusing your friends at the boy’s expense.” She shot heatedly, perking Loki’s interest. “You will fight fair. I know this is hard—”

“Hard? Mother, all the sympathy in the realms cannot make one understand. I am _trying_. I tried, yesterday—”

“I know—”

“—I tried. But I cannot fake what I feel—I am not father. I do not lie.”

“He is a _person_ , Thor.” She hissed, looking as if she was about to smack him. Loki’s curiosity burned darkly at what they were talking about, but if it was about humiliating him he didn’t think he wanted to know. “There is a difference between lying and sparing one’s feelings! I was proud of you yesterday, you handled your talk with Loki well. But how do you think he would feel hearing you and your stupid little friend’s laugh of such things? Some times I wonder if any of you have left the breast, you act like children but demand to be treated like adults!”

“We were in my room—!” This time Frigga did smack him.

“The walls have ears, you daft boy! And that is only half the case. I may not feel what you feel, but one thing I know is that you need to move past this obstacle or you will be miserable forever. You _and_ Loki. _This_ attitude isn’t going to help in the long run, my son. You need to stop listening to everyone’s _advise_ and focus on moving forward.”

“You make it sound so simple.” Thor looked sadly down at her, and pulled away with a shake of his head when she tried to draw him in. His face was hard. “I will move at my own pace, whether or not anyone likes it. Including Loki.”

Loki stiffened, so did Frigga, but she rubbed his arm.

“You are stubborn like your father.”

“Aye, but at least I am honest, whether or not the truth hurts.”

Frigga sighed. “Today’s truth may differ from tomorrow’s, leaving for much regret. But clearly you wish to learn the hard way. I suppose we all must.”

“Not all, you’ve always been with Father.”

“And you think I found _that_ simple?” Frigga laughed, earning two sets of wide eyes. She chuckled at Thor and petted his cheek patronizingly, then turned to leave. “The truth often hurts.”

Loki jumped out of his shock seeing as she was coming his way, and ran back the way he came. He spared a thought to Helblindi but he was nowhere in sight. He out ran Frigga by far and skidded into the hallway leading to the throne room, earning a few glances from the guards. He straightened his composure and tried his best not to look scandalized after what he had just over heard. He wasn’t sure if he was more unsettled by Helblindi, Frigga’s confession or what horrible thing Thor and his friend’s were laughing about at his expense. 

On that note, he wasn't angry anymore, the wild rage was gone and left a cold burn inside him that was being trampled by the reminder that he wasn't the only one involved here. He _wasn't_ alone, Thor clearly did not want to be mixed up in this. Thor didn't want him.

 _Thor didn't want him_. Then why was he still going through with this? Was he hoping things would turn out okay? But he was Thor Odinson, it would always be _okay_ for him. What had he to fear? At the very least he'd be gaining a slave wrapped up in pretty deceitful ties of tradition and politics. And clearly Thor was not going to make it easy for him, as he clearly stated.

But there was nothing he could do about what Thor thought, nothing but win his way out. Composing himself, as much as his troubled thoughts allowed, he headed calmly into the throne room and made a bee line for his seat, where Thrym sat and looked horribly relieved to see him return. Loki wondered if he knew about the issue with Helblindi, Thrym had never truly cared for him either.

“I honestly thought you had run off to hide. Father is about to kill me.”

For a difficult moment, Loki took a hard look at Thrym, and decided to keep quiet for the time being about what he overheard, and Helblindi's meeting. He didn’t want it to spread with him as the source, or have Thrym over exaggerate anything and drive him insane. His own thoughts would drive him there.

“No need.” 

Thrym looked a little irritable, then sent the nearest servant to tell their father Loki had turned up.

“How’s your Elf female?” Loki asked, settling into his chair while trying not to look around at everyone, or let his mind race. _Don't think. Don't think_. The hall was already busy with people taking their seats and placing cruel bets.

“Er, okay.” Thrym said. It was Loki’s turn to inquire.

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay,” Thrym repeated, looking around, anywhere but at Loki. 

“…Is she angry about yesterday?” Loki peeked at the Elf table, but she wasn’t there, nor was Nuada or King Balor. Maybe they were somewhere having a similar row that Frigga and Thor just had.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since.”

“Then what is wrong?” Loki asked impatiently.

“ _Nothing_! I just…wish I had the chance to apologize.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a drama king, you can still do so.”

Before Thrym could answer, Laufey appeared, looking falsely surprised as if he had expected Loki to stay hidden. “Loki, good morn.”

“Morning.” Loki spared him a neutral glance.

“Have you eaten?” he looked pointedly to the snacks the servants were currently cleaning up as the preparations for the match began.

“He did. I made sure.” Thrym answered.

“My fertility won’t soar just because I put on weight!” Loki hissed, exasperated.

“Your dam had two triple births in his life time and that wasn’t very long—”

“Mother was just gifted! I’ll eat when I want to!”

“I have no time to argue.” Laufey leaned away, giving orders to a few servants. Thrym gave Loki a pleading look to get along with Laufey, earning a set of bared teeth, and Loki folded his arms in a huff. Maybe he _should_ start eating everything in sight, get big and round until the princes thought him disgusting. Yes, that could work too. But he rather enjoyed his flexibility and lithe frame. _Uuugh_.

“Oh, there they are.”

Loki looked at Thrym, and followed his gaze to the Elf table. He looked away immediately, recognising the royals in a second, and slumped back in his chair. “Good for them.” He was _not_ going to get caught again by Nuada looking at them.

“He's a piece of work, isn't he...” Thrym pulled his lips lightly, leaning back in his chair as well in a poor effort to look inconspicuous.

“Who cares.”

“Thor wasn't _that_ uppity.”

Loki's face darkened. He had known Thor wasn't really _okay_ yesterday, it had just been a farce, to please his dam and father. And hearing that he does not lie like his father, it made Loki wonder if every word Odin's said since he got here was a lie. Should he tell his father? He might not believe him. Was he just taking it out of proportion? The Odinsones father-son relationship didn't seem all that good, but if Thor was laughing with his friend's over something cruel to do with Loki, he was no better than Odin, neither was the lesser evil. In fact, Loki could be caught between their crossfire, and that was _not_ something that sounded pretty.

“We could get along, I think.” Thrym said with a confident huff, adding salt to Loki's festering wounds.

“Don't be so trusting.” Loki muttered. He realised there was a burning within his core again, but it was not as fierce as it normally was. Perhaps the food was soaking it up. The potion could be eating away his stomach for all he knew.

“Loki,” Laufey cut in, leaning over them, “Are you ready?”

“No.” Loki got up anyway, flicking away Thrym's patting hands of comfort. Laufey slipped a hand around his wrist and tugged gently, leading him away from their seats and down to the floor where the scribe was calling out a similar schedule to yesterday.

When they reached the floor, he shrunk slightly seeing Thor present. There was a moment of irrational fear that Thor knew he had over heard him and Loki wanted to stay hiding behind his father forever. Odin was on the floor too, patting Thor's face and muttering to him, probably words of encouragement. 

“Don't try freeze his hands off, Loki. Our mages have been forced to provide Thor with an immunity to it.”

Loki looked up, scandalized. “Why?!”

“It's only fair. You cannot be married to him and hold such a deadly weapon against him. It's not fair to you to have you focus your nature day and night. You could accidently freeze his limbs off during the simplest things, which will not be fair to him.”

“You mean I could purposely freeze off his c—” Loki found himself with a face full of Laufey's glower.

“I did not raise you to speak like that. Queens do not use such language, nor do they disrespect their Househeads.” Laufey had a stone grip on his arm that was one turn from earning a bruise and shook him lightly, but it rattled deeply where it mattered. “While you are under _my_ house you will respect me and do as I say. When we change hands, you will do the exact same for _him_. Whoever _he_ may be.”

With that he dropped Loki's arm, and brought them both forward to where the scribe was recalling the rules of engagement. But Loki was no longer listening.

The world passed in a blur for him until he realised his personal space was no longer occupied. He looked around, seeing the crowds of faces and their anticipation. Loki blinked to clear the moisture, and looked around again, finding the scribe urging him to the weapons table. Was it that time already? No, it shouldn't be, things were going too fast. He didn't want to be a queen. It was too fast.

“Come, my prince.” the scribe nudged him forward, glancing hesitantly at Laufey. Thrym glared at his father, but nothing could be said without being overheard. Glances were passed around for a few moments until Loki finally took the first lance in reach, but did so blankly and stepped back. 

The scribe waited to see if he would take anything else, then bowed and gestured for him to move to his place. Loki did so, mechanically, looking at the lance with wide unseeing eyes.

“Your highness,” the scribe offered the table to Thor, but unexpectedly, Thor declined. He said nothing as the crowd murmured, shook his head, and moved to his own place. 

Everyone looked to Laufey, but there was nothing foul about taking no weapon, so he waved it on. The scribe scurried off the ice, part of the many who were watching Loki in concern, and the horn was blown.

In reaction Loki jumped, knowing what that sound meant, and again in a moment of fear of his opponent he looked up, but finding Thor ultimately empty handed and stretching idly was not what he was expecting.

A quiet while passed where Loki stared openly, his brows knitted as he tried to make sense of what was presented to him, as did the audience.

Then Thor gave what looked like an attempt at a smile, and stretched his fingers out in front of him, crackling the knuckles on his fingers and popping his shoulders. He was just stretching. He was…what?

He was going to do this with his bare hands. 

As if searching for understanding Loki kneaded the steel in his hands, but the longer he stared the more he saw that infuriating smile. Smile? No, smiles were nice, weren't they? They didn't make people feel bad. Bad smiles did. Bad smiles aren't smiles. What are bad smiles? They had a name. What was their name? Smirks. They're _smirks_. Smirking was not nice.

Thor was going to fight him without a weapon, smirking as if it was funny. Was this what he was laughing about with his friends? Is this the humiliation Frigga had referred to? Was Thor implying he thought Loki so weak he didn't need weapons to take him down? Did he think himself so superior he could win the match with only his bare hands? Just how low was his opinion on Loki to take his threat as a joke?

Nuada had taken him with a weapon. Everyone had said he did well, and maybe deep down he believed so, but seeing Thor smirking at him, flexing his fingers, the degradation stung deep. 

The uncalled for rage that crawled from his core that morning returned with a vengeance.

There was no thought when he sprung, only instinct. He didn't think about the rules, the audience, he _couldn't_ think, and most of all he did not care.

He had a second lance in his hands with little mental effort, allowing his emotion to drive him, and flung it as hard as he could at Thor's face. Unfortunately Thor was focused and highly trained, and stepped aside just in time to save the natural structure of his face. The same couldn't be said for the audience and those in the line of fire screamed. It was only by the grace of the mages that they were on alert after Laufey's quiet tiff with Loki. The people knew Loki, he was unstable when upset.

They cancelled out the magic that materialized the lance and diffused it just in time, but the people shrieked and ducked anyway. 

Thor looked back and forth in shock, then jumped as Loki was upon him with the original lance, screaming his own frustration. It echoed through the hall, igniting a whole new excitement, and fear, in those present.

At Álfheimr’s table, having been silent and near invisible the entire morning to show respect for Thor's day, Nuada was troubled. Whatever Laufey had said to Loki had shook him into an ungodly rage, it was clearly not battle lust nor determination. Loki was enraged, and Nuada wasn't the only one to see it.

“Father what did you do?” Thrym hissed on the corner of his mouth. “He's gone insane!”

“That is his own doing.” Laufey hissed back, but looked no less concerned. His court and guards were glancing at him but he was just as surprised as they were, he didn’t know the extent of this tantrum.

“Be calm, brother,” Nuala said, the tendrils of Nuada's anxiety slipping into the back of her mind. “Loki will be fine.”

“He will hurt himself.” Nuada breathed, knowing from experience that fighting out of emotion lead to defeat and injury. You **had** to be focused when battling, otherwise you have already lost.

Swinging the bladed side of his lance Loki growled angrily, just missing Thor who kept moving quicker than he thought possible for such physical density. Thor was not slow at all, not at all. 

In the back of Loki's mind, behind his red fury and blind determination to possibly execute Thor, he knew he would lose, so his goal now was to strike Thor as much as he could, rules be damned.

With little care for what he aimed for, Loki jabbed the bladed end, minutely managing to catch Thor and draw blood from small cuts. Thor was fast enough to _just_ make it by with his limbs in tact, he was not as fast as Nuada, but he was used to taking beatings and he didn't have a sibling to protect, so he took each cut that he couldn’t escape with controlled reactions. 

But it wasn’t satisfying enough and Loki spun around the weapon and swung it, beating his rage into Thor’s flesh. They landed, solidly, but Thor was just as solid, blocking with his hard arms.

It was clear that Thor had built up a resistance to being struck, wherever Loki caught didn’t seem to affect him any differently. Thor clearly protected his soft areas though, blocking the shots and more than once nearly taking the lance from him.

As they fought, Loki’s mind didn’t clear of his befuddled state, the plan of wearing Thor out was lost to him in his sizzling anger and he continued to strike out wildly, desperately trying to beat Thor and if he was lucky, maybe even gut him. The hall was filled with his grunting efforts and cries as he tried to get the upper hand, but Thor was resilient, successfully using only his hands and his own skill.

One thing that Loki’s mind did register was that Thor was not striking him. His fear of Thor must have dissolved at some point as all that remained was frustration, and the question of _why not_? 

Then suddenly his body jerked to a halt and he found Thor had caught the other half of his lance. He pulled but as expected it didn't budge, not even an inch. His heart was racing, now pumping an icy draft through his veins. He looked up and saw another smirk on his face. Loki didn't think this was funny at all.

The crowd wasn't fast enough to warn Thor as one of Loki's clones kicked in the back of his knees. Loki pulled free his weapon the moment Thor dropped and brought it down violently across Thor's face. Blood struck across the floor like lightening to the crowds thundering blare. Loki's heart skipped a beat and satisfaction finally arrived. Adding fuel to the rare fire, he swung out his foot and sent Thor landing heavily on his back, blood pouring from his nose.

The noise from the audience was too plain to ignore. Loki couldn't help glancing at the crowd, where he found expressions of awe and wonder in their faces, Jotun and foreign alike. The burning pride in his chest now outweighed that in his stomach and he realised he was grinning, and grinning sadistically. Thor had underestimated him like a fool and now, he might just lose. The rage inside of him finally felt sated.

Despite Loki’s ongoing favour, said Odinson sat up, face and hair full of blood, a long cut slashed across his cheek. His bright blue eyes were now widened in what must have been disbelief. It made Loki shiver in an odd pleasure he had never felt before. 

‘ _Laugh at this, spawn of Odin._ ’ 

In the blink of an eye there were three Loki’s, boxing Thor in. They all wore the exact same grin, one that looked down right maniacal and unhinged, and together they attacked Thor. There was little to command that they weren’t doing on their own, and despite it being outnumbered, Loki couldn’t find the heart to care. He was the only one with a weapon, he was too frenzied to conjure his doubles weapons of their own, but they made do with their feet, striking Thor into the floor.

But as they unleashed onto Thor, Loki finally felt the strain on his body. His adrenaline had eased off when the rage did, leaving him panting for breath. 

While the going was good he backed out, just a few steps back as he stared down at the fallen warrior. Thor was trying valiantly to get to his feet but Loki’s doubles were without mercy, kicking him in the ribs, pulling at his hair, twisting back his arms. Thor made all the sounds Loki expected, and more. But the exhaustion was too much for Loki to feel any more satisfaction, and finally realised it was the time to end this. And he would win.

Surprisingly enough, even through his beating and the blood in his vision, Thor realised one of the Loki’s had backed off, the lance hanging limply at his side. No doubt it was the real Loki, so without fear of offending the entire Jotun race publically, he started to fend off his attackers more directly than before.

Immediately Loki noticed the change in Thor’s demeanour and stepped back, actively guiding his doubles as Thor went on the offensive. Unlike Nuada, Thor didn't fight the doubles, shoving them off instead. He seemed determined to want to get to the real Loki, but the clones did not relent, nor did they feel pain. Thor must have realised, for he handled them roughly, pulling them by their hair and tossing them aside. 

Loki inhaled and prepared himself as Thor made it closer, waiting for the right moment to strike again, for the final time—

Then it all happened so fast. A heavy weight collided with him square in the chest, robbing him of his breath and vision. He fell right over into the icy floor with a hard _thunk_ , seeing nothing but blue. He lost his weapon in the fall and as the weight pining him down began to squirm, he realised it was his clones. Thor had flung them at him and knocked all three of them down.

Loki’s shoulder blades had hit the floor first, surely bruised as he hadn’t been prepared for the fall, and the lance was not within reach. His heart plummeted and he struggled to keep his doubles going, at least until he got his lance—! But before they could all untangle, Thor grabbed onto his ankle and ripped him right from under them and a good distance away in mere seconds. The crowd was in a frenzy again and the icy block found its way back into Loki’s belly as Thor hulked over him, blocking out the light until all he could see was a growling _Thor_.

_No, no no no, where had he gone wrong?! He was winning this, **he was winning this!**_

Primal instinct forced Loki’s hands out to create space between them, rather than striking out. Panicked whimpers escaped his mouth but he didn’t hear them, there was a ringing in his ears. He pushed on Thor's chest with all his might, but then a thick hand wrapped around his neck and _squeezed_.

The initial fright of it severed Loki’s concentration and his clones disappeared completely. He gasped for breath that hadn’t yet been choked from him and all his efforts went primarily to dislodge the hand cutting off his air supply. It was an amateurish and panicky move, he'd be dead now if this was a real battle, but he had a bloody and rasping Odinson leaning over him for retribution. All his sense disappeared with the doubles. 

There was no stopping the fright from immobilising his limbs, just like he hadn’t been able to stop the rage. It seized control and left him shaking at the effects. 

This was it, he'd lost. Granted he had managed to break Thor's nose but now he wished he had won after all, for he would have to endure his nights with this beast on top of him. His eyes welled with tears and he whimpered loudly when suddenly he was turned over onto his belly. 

The hand disappeared from his throat and in a sudden fit of self preservation he bucked Thor off him and scrambled away, seeing the outline of the audience lines through wet eyes. Though as fast as his escape was, his shaky departure was not, and Thor was in front of him. From his knees, Loki looked up for a moment into Thor’s bloody face, and saw clearly what he was in for if he did not escape.

His mind tormented him with endless possibilities of suffering and humiliation, and he turned back, pushing to his feet in a hopeful effort to create some distance, but received instead Thor’s fist twisted in his hair, pulling him back. He screamed as the pain seared across his scalp, tears brimming to the surface as he reached back to dislodge the hand.

With his attention on the hand, Thor was able to force him back to his knees, were he shoved him into the floor and made quick work of twisting his arms painfully behind his back. 

Loki couldn’t help it, he was just so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to do or feel. He cried softly as his flesh twisted and stung in Thor's rough hands, and mourned the inability to use his natural ice bearing defence. His legs kicked helplessly as Thor straddled his back, but he was spent, and Thor was heavy. There was no moving him.

Thor pushed him down further from there, squeezing his arms together and then when he was satisfied Loki wouldn’t escape, he clamped his hand on the back of his neck and held it tightly. Loki's body twitched in response, as restraining one by the neck had always been a sexually dominant thing to do in Jotun ways, and struggled half-heartedly as his tears dripped onto the floor. His toes curled, _no no no no no_

With his hope defeated along with his body, Loki pressed his forehead into the cold floor, and waited for his father to announce Thor’s victory. It was then that he realised the hall was as silent as the grave. The only sounds were his pathetic pants and Thor's heavy breathing, everyone else was silent. 

Then finally Loki recognised the footsteps of his father. Why couldn't he hurry up? His ribs and shoulder blades were throbbing, and the longer he could feel Thor on him the more suffocated he felt, and it had little to do with his breath. 

“You win, Thor Odinson.” Laufey said, and a beat later the Asgardian table tried their best to make everyone deaf. The crowd followed right after, many in agreement, many upset, but there was no pleasing everyone. 

Thor got off then, stepping back a few spaces, but there was no smile on his face. If anything he looked troubled. Laufey stepped in and crouched down, lifting Loki's hair from his face and he struggled to his knees. 

“You did well, Loki. Up you go.” he said, gently.

On the floor, surrounded by the muffled blare, Loki sealed his lips shut and blinked away the tears before he started to his feet. His knees buckled continuously and he struggled to use his muscles on command. He was shaking, his jaw chattering even though his lips melded into one. Eventually Laufey tugged him to his feet, but he managed to stay upright on his own. He didn't realise he had a grip on his father's arm, digging his nails into his flesh.

Laufey saw there was no room for theatrics, and nodded to Thor before leading Loki straight off the floor and into the hands of the healers that were waiting with open arms.

“I think it's just shock.” he said to them.

' _I'm fine_.' Loki thought. He was. He _was_. He just couldn't speak, it felt as if he had no control of his body. His eyes were wide and wet, his lips stuck together, and his voice lost. Like his victory. He had known he would lose, even though he hoped, he had _known_ , he just couldn't explain the detachment—

Loki jumped a metre when one of the healers put their arms around to lead him off, and hurried forward a few panicked steps with no clear destination.

Laufey became grim and looked to Thrym, who got up the second he caught his gaze. Most of the people were too busy cheering Thor to take note of their huddle, and Laufey subtly beckoned forward the guards to shield them from the crowd as Loki stood stiff, staring around like one lost.

Thrym pushed forward into the huddle and went straight to Loki, leaning over carefully.

“Loki? Loki It's Thrym.”

Loki looked at him, his shaking hands held to his stomach. They made eye contact and Thrym smiled a tense smile.

“Loki.” Loki twitched in acknowledgement. “We need to go now, okay?”

There was no answer, nor sign of understanding, but Thrym eased his hands around Loki's shoulders and urged him towards the healers’ quarters. He shot their father a worried look, receiving one in return. The healers followed quickly after and Laufey suggested for the guards to make sure they made it the whole way safely.

At Álfheimr’s table, both Nuala and Balor had to prevent Nuada from following after Loki.

“He needs privacy, brother.”

“He needs someone to talk to.” Nuada argued, standing hesitantly at his seat as the group left the hall. Nuala was trying to pull him back down into his seat, looking around self consciously for who might be watching them, and Loki.

“Yes, but it shouldn't be _you_.” Balor said, and tugged on Nuada's wrist to urge him back in his seat. There was no strength in it, his father could barely lift himself, Nuada only moved out of respect and sat mechanically, his eyes on the far door.

“Thor didn't truly harm him, you saw for yourself.” Nuala tried, glancing at Asgard's rowdy table. Thor didn’t seem to be as jovial as when he beat the Jotuns, but he didn’t reject all the praise being poured on him either.

“Perhaps not but he wasn't kind either—”

Balor shook his head. “Give the boy space. He might lash out, let it not be on you.”

Nuada looked at his father, brows knitting. “Rather on me than someone who will retaliate.”

“Leave him be.” Balor said, his tone final. Nuada shut his mouth and turned obediently, where Nuala smiled sadly at him, and urged onto him a patient wave.

*

Thrym had never been so worried about Loki in his life than he was that day. Even when the rebels broke into the palace and tried to make off with him, Loki had fought and come out of it with a sneer and desire to kill himself the rebels that they captured. 

But _this_...this was not right.

The healers deemed him fine, he hadn't even lost a drop of blood. His ribs and shoulder blades were bruised from the floor, and seeing as he would not go into battle again they applied a soothing cream to heal them(it wasn't good to use magic for simple healing).

His stupor they placed on shock, but they had all watched the match and Thor hadn't caused him any traumatic harm. In fact it was quite a shock, everyone had secretly believed Loki would come out harmed, it was _Thor_. But Loki was fine, no broken bones or snapped tendons. The healers told Thrym Loki might suffer tense muscles from his stiff state, but it's nothing a good massage wouldn't pull out of him.

They did what they could, extremely fast as Loki hadn't moved a muscle, and left to give him space. When they were gone, Thrym pushed off the wall and leaned over, hands on his knees.

“Loki? Please for the love of all things mischievous, you're playing with us, yes? This is a joke?”

Loki frowned, there was no missing the panicked edge in Thrym's voice. He looked up at Thrym, but he couldn't remember how to use his voice. What was going on with him? Suddenly he was thirsty, he realised, _very_ thirsty.

“Loki, fuck, please.”

His voice was just not there. Loki grimaced, the easiest facial expression he could make at present, and looked over Thrym's shoulder.

“I'm okay.”

Thrym jumped and there over his shoulder was a copy of Loki, its form shuddering every few beats. Thrym glanced between them, confused.

“I'm fine.” the double said, his face eerily blank. “As they said, it's just shock.”

“But from what?” Thrym asked the double, placing his hand comfortingly on the real Loki's shoulder.

The double hesitated. “...I don't know.”

“You're normally so confident, I thought you were okay. Did he say something to you on the floor? Did he threaten you?”

 _Oh_ , where was _this_ concern a few days ago? If Loki had the control he would have pulled such a beautiful expression for his dear brother to cringe at. 

“No. Nothing—” the clone froze, twitching more and more. Thrym looked worried at Loki, but expression finally peaked on his face. Thrym leaned over again.

“Loki?”

“It's nothing. I am fine.” the double said, and disappeared all together. Loki looked up, and smiled, but it was a horrible lie for one so talented. Thrym pulled his lips, but leaned away. 

“Alright.”

Loki pushed off the seat the healers put him on, slowly becoming aware of Thrym’s proximity and stupid concerned expression. His father’s face flashed through his mind, filled with worry too, but it was a little late for that. 

The salve applied to his chest and back burnt lightly as it was absorbed, reminding him of the burning in his stomach—

The potion.

The potion had side effects, _many_ , perhaps…perhaps his whole wild day was because of it? …That had to mean it was working.

Hope bubbled in Loki’s chest, the first truly positive thing he had felt all day, and he smiled up at Thrym. “I need a drink.” He managed to croak.

Thrym’s sigh put him in the seat.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Unlike the previous matches, this one called for a small celebration. Both princes had earned their rights to a chance at Loki’s hand, and a union with Jötunheimr. That also meant that tomorrow would be the final match, seeing Thor and Nuada face off directly. Everyone was excited, everyone was buzzing with enthusiasm, whether for victory or bloodshed. And so was Loki.

“Please, Loki, take it easy, you might have a relapse or something.”

Pointedly ignoring Thrym, Loki held his breath as he downed his second goblet of wine. Thrym was downing his own, but being so much smaller, the alcohol got to Loki much quicker than the others. After leaving the healers they had taken the long way around back to the hall for some quietness before rejoining the bustle. Thrym had been right that it would be busy, but there was a new glint in Loki’s eyes, and it led them straight to a table and the liquor. While Thrym was glad Loki was talking again, he wasn’t sure drinking was a good idea.

“You’re going to make such a concerned husband one day.” Loki commented happily, wiping his mouth when he was done. There were a group of dwarves sitting nearer to them than anyone else, and he gave them a scorching glare that had them looking away into their mugs. His behaviour was attracting attention, especially after his strange disappearance earlier. They had nothing to worry about though, he was feeling better. In fact, he was grinning.

“Well, thank you for the practice.” Thrym sighed, refilling their goblets. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” Loki said, scowling lightly, but looked into his wine. He thought about what he was supposed to be celebrating, and burst into another round of hollow giggles. Thrym passed him his goblet, and a troubled look. Loki had been giggling eerily since they sat down.

“I’m going to have the mages check you over.”

“Shh, you’re disrupting my harmony.”

Thrym watched as Loki grinned at apparently nothing. “…I wouldn’t call this harmony.”

“Because _I’m_ the articulate one, big brother. You’re the muscle.”

“You mean you’re the brains and I’m the stupid muscle?”

“ _Nooo_ —” Loki hiccupped a burp, choking as his mouthful when down the wrong pipe. He hit his chest, coughing into the table. “We should leave home and go create some legends for our people to pass down in a thousand years.”

Thrym dead panned. “I don’t even want to know what we’ll be called.”

“I’ll think of something.”

Suddenly Thrym slammed his goblet down. “Oh gods there she is.”

It took one second to find Nuala thanks to Thrym’s eager expression. She seemed to notice them at the same time, and smiled. She started towards them, lifting her gown from the multitude of feet on the floor.

Thrym jumped up, nearly knocking over the drink and table. Loki scooted to avoid a glass that did spill, shooting Thrym a scathing glare that lasted for a second before his drink caught his attention and he cooed at it. 

“She’s not coming here with you and alcohol. She might say something about conceiving and you’ll throw her across the room.”

“Send me wedding invitations.” Loki dismissed him with a flick of the hand, grinning at his drink.

“…If you’re not fixed by the time I get back I’m telling Father.”

With a board expression Loki watched Thrym hurry off to intercept Nuala. He swirled the contents in his goblet and grinned again.

He shouldn’t be smiling, he shouldn’t be _grinning_ , but with the potion working, his actions blamed off onto his nerves and a possibly bloody battle tomorrow, he had a few things to be happy about. The thing that made him most happy was that the potion was clearly taking effects. Thor may have won the battle, but he would not win the war. Perfect Odinson would finally fail. He’d fail at something so simple, the realms would laugh at him. He’d fail and look like a bloody fool, shaming himself, his father, and his land. Thor could do what he wanted with him, but in the end _he’d_ be the smug one.

And that stupid Elf too, he can go to Hel right after Thor. Baby-less, mate-less, Loki-less.

But he and Thor can beat each other to Hel and back _first_. Tomorrow was the final match, but it would also be the night he lost his purity. It had to be consummated the night of the victory, in the aftermath of glory for the victor. It was his first prize, and pregnancy the second, if he was lucky enough. 

Loki hadn’t given it much thought, but now that it was guaranteed he poured himself another nice goblet and sipped this one little by little. Tingles already began in the tips of his fingers, his face flushed.

They could show off their skills as much as they wanted. They could over power him as much as they wanted. They could think themselves better than him as much as they wanted. But they would not win him in the end.

Loki sighed happily, welcoming the buzz from the alcohol. He had done his best, he failed, but his only true failure would be if he did conceive. Till then he’d brave it out, it would be worth it.

It would be worth it.

A dark shadow fell over him and he looked up slowly, ready to glare the person out the way and giggle when they moved just to unnerve them, and found Helblindi and another warrior, Hrym. His whole expression fell and he gripped his goblet tighter.

“Prince,” they greeted together.

Loki nodded. “Helblindi, Hrym.”

“May we join you?”

…Why the hell not? It’s not like he _dislike_ these men. They couldn’t personally interfere with him in public. Maybe it would piss off his ever watching audience.

“Sure.” He smiled, and pulled his goblet towards him claiming property of the alcohol it had. The men joined him, and graciously accepted the empty goblets Loki pointed half heartedly to.

“You were stunning out there today, Loki. You made us proud.” Hrym said as he poured their drinks from the jugs available. 

“I failed,” Loki stated, looking off as he sipped his drink casually.

“Maybe so, but you were beautiful in your prime. Odinson finally looked as handsome as they say, when covered in his own blood.”

Loki looked at Helblindi. The man was looking very happy for himself, but his lips were twisted into a suspicious smirk, the kind Loki used when he had an agenda.

“And a broken nose.” Hrym added with a laugh.

Loki smiled at the memory, then grinned full out. He looked away, wondering if he could get away with any mischief with the princes while he was stuck with them. In fact, if he was going to spend his nights with them, maybe he could think up a few tricks to wake them up screaming. Turn their hair blue. Maybe shave it off. Make their lips swollen. Giving them female parts would be hilarious— _he needed to fucking see them_.

“You need to see what?”

Loki jumped. “What?”

“You were mumbling into your wine, prince.” Hrym said.

“Oh, good.” Loki looked away. He sealed his lips together, and let his thoughts wander again. So the warriors thought he had been good? He actually didn’t remember much other than managing to give Thor a bloody face and his own defeat. His rage and truly blinded him, it was all in hazy swirls in the back of his mind like a dream. 

“My prince,” Helblindi directed a focused look at him, and eventually reached over and took hold of Loki’s jaw. He turned it towards him, and bore into those pretty wide eyes. “I fear for you.”

“That’s nice of you.” Loki replied, his voice detached. It did not seem to put off Helblindi, if anything, he scooted closer, and suddenly rubbed his thumb over Loki’s lips. Loki jerked back, but beneath the table there was a hand on his thigh and his heart jumped into his throat. 

“Prince.” Helblindi breathed into his face. Loki stared, shocked, leaning away but rooted in place. Loki’s breath started to pick up in short bursts, making his lips dry. He licked them, immediately tasting an odd scent that went straight to his cock. 

Helblindi’s smirk twitched and he leaned in. “Need something, my prince?”

He was barely a foot away from kissing Loki. Their breaths mingled together, hot and stuffy, the scent of alcohol rife. An uncontrollable part inside him forced Loki to lick his lips again for that mysterious taste, and Helblindi twitched as if he wanted to reach over and catch his tongue. The thought, though in no way desired, made Loki’s cock twitch in interest. A sharp jolt shot through his stomach, boomeranging back into his crotch as the fingers inside his thigh flexed minutely. A cold flush soared down his body from his cheeks, but it left a burning sensation in its place, flowing beneath his skin and making him _hot_. Too hot. Too much burning. Heat- 

Loki licked his lips again, frowning helplessly, but each intake of the scent made his breath harder to catch. His toes curled, his gut clenched, and oh gods his cock was rising.

The large hand wrapped about his thigh slid higher, but it signalled the alarm bells in his head, along with another strong twitch of his cock. He shoved aside his goblet and scrambled violently out his seat, startling both Helblindi and Hrym. The people around them seemed to notice them for the first time, or perhaps it was the other way around.

“I have to go.” He blurted, and turned without waiting for a reply. 

His body was burning, downright flaming with _lust_. His heart was pumping fast, spreading his desire making his very finger tips vibrate. His legs were shaking, his stomach tightening, but his hasty exit was intercepted before he could reach the door.

“Loki? Are you okay?”

It was Nuada. He looked much too concerned for it to be sincere. What could he really be worried about? Not getting to fuck him before anyone else? Loki didn’t have time for this.

“Excuse me,” Loki breathed, and pushed past him. 

“Wh-Loki—”

“You’ll have me tomorrow!” Loki snapped, storming away as his cheeks flared enough to notice. Nuada stared after him, then glared back at the table where the two warriors sat, watching him in an equal manner.

As soon as he was out into the hall Loki took off into a run, all the way to his room. He was glad his battle clothes were sturdy enough to hide his erection, it was now raging like his emotions had earlier. There weren’t many people on the way, and he half expected Helblindi to appear from behind a corner, but he made it into his room safely, and threw himself into the bed. 

Desperately he pushed down the front of his loincloth and its lining and released his cock. He turned on his stomach and rutted into the bedding as he stroked himself, an awkward combination but the lust was making him dizzy. His free hand laid besides his face, clawing at the furs as he panted, eyes clenched tightly.

Again he licked his lips, and growled loudly at the conditioned action, but took in the scent anyway, allowing it to seep into his core. His balls tightened in response and he pumped himself in a satisfying rhythm. His cock was not shy, coating his hand with a generous amount of pre cum and making his strokes feel all the more sweeter. 

As soon as he started to hear the slick wet sounds of his stroking he gave in with a cry, spilling onto the bed. His limbs gave in the second after he was done and he lay limply, the cum spreading up to his stomach and the furs. He was usually much cleaner so not to leave evidence for the servants, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

He fought to catch his breath as the pleasure buzzed through his body. And _fuck_ , he hadn’t experienced pleasure like that in a long while. His cheeks were burning, a degree higher than the rest of his body, but he couldn’t tell if it was uncomfortable or not.

His eyes drooped, and before he could stop it, he drifted off to sleep.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	8. Final Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Nuada face off, and Loki loses his virginity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in update, I was a slut and wrote Heimdall/Loki porn.
> 
> Prepare for smut. Not heavy non con, but light dub con.

**Chapter 8: Final Trial**

Loki woke the next morning feeling as though he could sleep for another few centuries. He hadn't moved from his spot the entire night. He was warm and had sunk a few inches into the furs, it felt like heaven.

But there was light pouring in from the window, and his nerves started to twitch.

_Today._

Today meant a lot of things he hadn't given the pleasure of his attention to.

Today was the day Thor and Nuada would face one another to decide who was to have him first. Today was the day one of them proved to the realms they were the bigger man. Today was the day Loki lost his purity. Today was the starting of his own trial.

Today was not welcomed.

And neither were the servants.

“Loki? Prince Loki,” one of the servants shook his shoulder.

Loki had been half awake for a few minutes already, trying to will his existence away. The servant sighed and tried again, looking to the others for help. Loki smacked his hand away before anyone could join him.

“Stop touching me!” he spat, looking up wearily from the bedding. His left arm was free, his right trapped beneath him and most likely numb. The servants looked almost as weary.

“Loki it is time to get up, we brought you your robes and—”

“ _Out_.”

“...My prince—”

“OUT! Get _out_!” Loki pointed viciously at the door as if doing so would get them out faster. He hadn't taken his potion yet and he was in no mood to be made pretty for the public. _Fuck them fuck them fuck them_

The servants did as they were told, leaving behind all their equipment so Loki could prepare himself, or at least defend themselves if they got in trouble for not getting Loki ready.

When the door closed, Loki groaned and fell limp into the bed, spitting out furs from his mouth. He blinked tiredly, and craned his neck to look at the soft fabrics laid out for him.

He did not want to do this.

Still, he had to take his potion. He could very well stay in bed and refuse to move, of course he could, but the chances of drifting off and waking to find he was being mounted anyway were rather high.

On those thoughts, his mind drifted to Helblindi, and he licked his lips absent-mindedly for the taste, but it was gone. He wouldn't be surprised if he woke up with Helblindi mounting him. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had been mounted already. 

Loki looked down quickly, seeing his clothing was still very much on his body, and clenched his anal muscles for any sign of pain or use. There was nothing and he groaned again. If he wasn't taking the potion he might even wish to be impregnated already, by someone _anyone_ just so this madness could go away.

But no, he had to be strong, he couldn't give in. It would be worth it. It would be worth it.

With the potion in mind Loki moved to get up, pulling his hands up to lift himself off the bed—but winced instead. His right arm was stuck beneath him, and any tug to retract it stung him something terrible. Did he fall asleep on a weapon? On a parasite? 

Squirming, so not to move his arm more than necessary, Loki rolled just to the side and curled in on himself, and laughed breathlessly when he saw he still had his cock in hand. His hand was covered in dried seed, matted with his skin and the furs beneath him. The tiny hairs on his hand and the furs pulled painfully each time he tugged, and he grinned sadistically to himself for his stupidity. He had stopped falling asleep before cleaning up a long time ago, so he deserved this.

Still, he did not wish to be caught in such an embarrassing position and fought his way to the side of the bed, until he rolled off ungracefully and hit the floor. He winced and cursed at the icy floor, and awkwardly crawled his way to the cleansing tools the servants had brought. There were multiple tools to make him look presentable, especially after all the alcohol yesterday, but he hurried for the water and cloth. 

The water was just cold enough before freezing thanks to a trick the mages perfected, and he hurried to moisten the mess between his legs. He scrubbed with the cloth a little faster each second, glancing at the door, until he pulled his hand free and scrambled up into a more dignified position.

He finished cleaning himself off and tried to wipe off the spoiled furs as well, but he was wasting time and if he knew his father, he would soon barge in with the servants. He threw aside the furs and hurried to his potion.

Taking it potion became a life line, so much so that he had to stop himself from taking double doses due to unknown repercussions, and using it up. Only a mouthful was required and he had brewed enough to fill several vials. He'd had to make more at some point but he hoped it wouldn't take _that_ long for everyone to give up. Surely their huge egos would take a hit after a dozen failed attempts and they'd leave?

As usual the brew burned his inners as it settled in his stomach. It felt a little hotter today, but there was no stretching or up coming match to steal his attentions. He felt slightly ill in fact, but he couldn't help that. He couldn't go to the healers lest they find out what was polluting his system. No, he'd pass it off to his nerves and stick it through. What was the worst that could happen?

He hid away his vials again and dragged his bedding back into the bed, giving the crumbling cum a glare as he bundled it all up into a mound. He turned to his clothing and straightened it out, picking at it and loitering until Laufey did indeed walk in.

“Loki, you are not dressed.” Laufey said as he entered, seeing Loki fingering at the outfit set out for him. The servants were not with him, but they surely must have run off to inform him that Loki was being difficult again.

Loki's stomach was in knots, churning and burning again. It almost felt like his actual nerves, he might even sweat, but that would be silly of him. He was no coward. Today was just like any of the other days. It was just the potion, _not_ his nerves. What was there to be scared of?

“...I’m not coming.” he breathed, leaning over on the bed with his hands as he willed the waving nausea to die down.

Laufey carefully shut the door. “Loki, you must be present. Need I stress why?”

“I don’t want to be present. Just send a servant to tell me who wins. Thrym can even do it.”

“Loki, get dressed, you need to be there or it will be an insult. Today they battle directly for you, you will be there.”

“Father I feel sick!” he cried and pushed away from both the bed and his father, suffocated. He brought his hands to his stomach, and an honest sick feeling joined the inner turmoil. Panic flooded through him at the stupid confession and he quickly thought for an excuse that would save him from the healers. Today for sure he could burn to death from the inside out, he would accept that today, yes.

Luckily Laufey didn't appear to be suspicious and held a hand out to calm him. “It’s okay to be nervous. Tonight is a big night.” 

Loki's belly turned into ice.

“…It’s really happening.” he breathed, mostly to himself. His stomach clenched, and his heart sank knowing what was making his nerves tremble. _He was not scared_!

“Yes, Loki.” Laufey said, and watched as Loki struggled to keep his expression in one place, as well as his feet. “Do not fret so. Mating is natural, and much easier than you fear it.”

“…They’re going to hurt me.” Loki whispered unhappily. While he didn't feel _unready_ to mate, he was frightened at the thought of non-Jotun men mating him. Their ways were different and with what females possessed between their legs (who knew what that was), he doubted the princes would know exactly how to have him. He was going to be a toy for them to explore, and that was part of what was making him feel sick, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

Should he have let Helblindi woo him away last night? The sexual reaction he had to Helblindi yesterday (though highly suspicious) would be simple to flow with. All your sense went out the window with each inch of cock that drove in. He didn't want to be played with, especially for his first couple mates. Helblindi would surely know how to mate him properly, bring him to that state of raw need where there was no such thing as pain and humiliation? They said it was easy, but _they_ weren't the ones going to be bed by aliens who would know nothing of that. 

Though _actually_ mating with Helblindi was more of a passing thought, there was no time to bother with whether he'd do it or not. His father was lifting his clothing and approaching him cautiously. “Yes, they will. But this happens to any bride. You must teach them what to do, show them how to hold you. Just stick out the first few mates, you won't die.”

Loki had never gotten around to telling his father how horrible a comforter he was. He whined miserably, weakly, and dug a hand into his stomach, stepping away as if Laufey were a hunter looking to capture him.

“What if I _do_ burn them during mating?” he asked frantically, “It will be the same as starting war-!”

“You won't. Thor's armed with a simple enchantment that cannot be broken without a special reversal unlock, and Nuada is an Elf. They aren't particularly affected by heat or ice.”

_Great, just great. Not helpful at all._

Loki was losing his nerves, he could feel it, and knowing he was just fooling himself this whole time was making it worse, everything was crumbling. _No no no no no...breathe, breathe, father is right, he's right, I won't die, won't die_...

“Now come. You will watch the princes beat the life out of one another and we will laugh together.”

Loki didn't bother trying to smile, Laufey didn't seem to expect it either. Laufey clamped an arm around Loki and hugged him, shortly and warmly, before helping to peel off his clothing from yesterday. Loki put all his efforts on becoming a blank slate.

The outfit this time seemed to be all joined, a robe or a dress. It was made of linen and silk, covering his chest and body, and even his legs. The sleeves on his arms were large and loose, but hung prettily to his elbows. The fabric was not of Jötunheimr, but of Asgard and Álfheimr he realised. At least it was soft and comfortable, he couldn't find himself to hate it in this world of enemies.

As if he were a child, Laufey aided him, tugging it gently over his head, brushing it off, adjusting it at his waist, wiping his face clean of sleep or dirt. He was gentle, in a way Loki had grown jealous of when seeing Nuala tend to her brother, and he allowed himself to enjoy the just of it, only for the moment...

“You look like your dam.” Laufey said, quietly, as he fixed Loki's hair back.

Loki didn't dare answer and taint his dam's memories with his trembling voice.

Laufey didn't rush him out the room despite the event waiting, for which Loki was glad. When he deemed Loki ready, physically and emotionally (emotionally meaning he managed to solidify his blank look), he took Loki's arm in his own and escorted him down to where the deciding event was taking place.

Loki tuned out the world, and focused on the simmering he forgot that was in his belly.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Today's event seemed to be the most exciting for all the visitors, and Nuada could understand why. He too was excited, but it was not yet time to be joyous or drink himself sick like the spectators. Beating Thor would only be another part of this event, winning Loki would be the victory. Though it was becoming clear Loki had no desire to be won, which made his path even harder. 

If he backed out because Loki was unreceptive it would earn nothing but giving Loki straight to Asgard. Perhaps if Asgard had never barged in and Loki had honestly rejected him, he would have stood down and moved on in search of a queen, but with all the rumours flying around from the servants, Loki needed help. Was he truly starving himself? Was Laufey secretly abusing him into complying? Did Loki truly cry when he thought he was alone? Was he and Thrym actually involved in a relationship? Was Loki aiming to be the first Frostfemme king of Jötunheimr rather than a queen? Nuada wasn't sure if finding out the validity of these rumours would do any good, but it was clear Loki was troubled. 

Being royalty was never easy, you had expectations and standards to live up to and your choices and actions were always watched and judged. It was not easy, and not always as glamorous as the common folk liked to think. The common folk had freedom, royalty did not, and Nuada had come to terms with that a long time ago. His father had brought him up under no pretence, life was as it was, but there were many ways to handle it and make the best of the hard times. 

There was no appeal in forcing Loki to be his wife, but he knew this was a test from the gods. He would have to prove to Loki he was the better man, and hope luck was on his side when it came to conceiving. If he backed out now, he'd be responsible for putting Loki in Thor's hands, for if he hadn't appealed for marriage, he _knew_ neither would have Odin. _It was his fault_.

There was no backing out now, he had to make it right, especially for Loki. If anything, Loki would despise him more if he were to relinquish him to Thor, as if this was just a game he entered half heartedly. Maybe, _hopefully_ , Loki would appreciate his commitment and effort to winning him. He wanted Loki happy with him, and of course safe, and he could only guarantee so now by marrying him. And then heartily apologising for putting Asgard on his trail, that had not been his intention. He was stupid for not predicting this, but none of the realms ever showed an interest in Jötunheimr in this manner, how was he to know? _Especially_ Asgard. But there was nothing to be done but remedy it.

As if testing his patience, the fates brought him straight past Thor and his friends on the way to the throne room. The event would commence soon and people were congregating. He himself was on his way to meet his father and Nuala, having just finished pre-match preparations.

It was Thor's lady friend that saw him first, but she said nothing and watched him with eyes akin to a hawk as he approach the males that laughed and spoke among one another. Nuada held her gaze until the other men noticed him, and in connection Thor. Their commotion died down and Nuada stopped before them, inclining his head to Thor first, then his friends.

“Prince Thor. Good Lady Sif, Warrior Three, good morning.” They looked surprised that he knew their titles.

“Prince Nuada, good morning,” Thor smiled, searching Nuada's face for who-knows-what.

“I was just telling Thor that we're all most excited for this match,” said Fandral, patting Thor on the shoulder as he grinned at Nuada, “Personally I hope you land him on his backside a good few times. But either way, tonight's victory will be worth a good beating today.” Fandral wriggled his eye brows, his grin alone implying everything. Sif looked away her face puckered lightly, but said nothing as Thor actually blushed, and playfully shoved his friend away.

“Enough Fandral, it's not a game.”

“No, it's not.” Nuada said, voice cold as ice. Hogun and Volstagg straightened a little and Sif looked back. Thor's smile disappeared, and he had the weirdest feeling of annoyance flush through him, and he realised he felt it every time when Nuada was present and Loki was concerned. The man was as stiff as a plank.

Fandral smiled, “Perhaps not, but such a contest without some light hearted humour is no way to go about this. Surely Prince Loki would prefer his suitors to smile a little more. No body wants a partner who has a constant stick up their arse.”

Volstagg let out a low sound in shock and looked away, just as Hogun and Sif steeled themselves to intervene if their friend was attacked, whilst looking at him as if he were crazy. Technically he just insulted a future king, his life outside Asgard's borders could be made very difficult. Thor gawked at Fandral, then at Nuada, but he wasn't quick enough to distract either of them before Nuada laughed without humour.

“Oh? I assume one as practiced as yourself speaks from experience?” The smile flew off Fandral's face. “Have you ever been in a position where someone is trying to stick things up your arse? _Without_ your consent-?” Fandral opened his mouth to answer, then closed it, and Nuada carried on, “Try to imagine that. Now would you care about the fools around you trying to make light hearted humour at your expense? Or are you so whorish it would not offend you in the first place?”

It was not often that Fandral became angry, so Thor quickly shouldered his friend to the side as he started to fume.

“Enough. Take him to our table. All of you, go.” He shoved Fandral back as he ghosted forward, his face uncharacteristically twisted, and Hogun grabbed hold of him. Volstagg flagged his other side and they led him away, hissing to Fandral as they went.

“Lady Sif I apologize for my language,” Nuada said, staring past her as they dragged off Fandral.

Sif looked at Thor, then back. “It's fine.”

Nuada looked at her. “My apologies.”

“...Fandral does not mean any harm.” Thor said after a tense moment, holding his gaze firm when Nuada met it. “He is playful by nature.”

“This is indeed no game, Thor,” Nuada said, sounding tired, “Please, remember that.” _Or just back out now_ , Nuada thought.

“I am aware,” Thor ground irritably. 

“Then you would do well not to humour the drivel of this kind, lest you forget.”

Nuada inclined his head to them both, and took off as well, leaving Thor to snort at the ground. Sif raised a brow. “Well, he's going to be out for blood.”

“I am no stranger to losing blood.” Thor said, turning to frown at the corridors.

“Or taking it,” Sif added with a smile.

“Apparently neither is Loki.” Thor said, scrunching his nose up.

“You're the one that provoked him—”

Thor threw his hands up, regretting his coy smiles yesterday more and more. “I thought he would enjoy the challenge! They said he hated being treated as if he were weak.”

Sif smiled softly, but it fell slowly. “...He is serious about this Thor. So is the Elf. Are you sure you want to do this? What is the worst your father can do?”

“I cannot say no, Sif,” Thor rubbed his face with his hands, “I have no legitimate reason to. What am I going to say to all the questions? That I do not wish have the Jo—”

“Thor, the walls have ears.” she cut in, her voice an awkward whisper. Thor groaned loudly, pulling at the ends of his hair.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Loki allowed the morning to pass in a blur. He nibbled when asked to eat, he sipped when asked to drink and he nodded vaguely when asked a question. He stared at nothing, trying to keep the claustrophobia from falling down completely over his shoulders. 

Today had the biggest crowd of them all, last minute guests trickling in and managing to secure seats. A fight once broke out among seating arrangements between a group of male dwarves and Elves, but it was quickly resolved and led to more laughter and bemusement floating about. The atmosphere was bubbling, energetic, and yet had an underlying seriousness. This was two proud princes battling over a wife, there was little limits and manners to hold to. They were entitled to act like barbarians and so were their supporters, and thus there was a sadistic excitement in the air.

Loki sat stiff in his seat, staring at nothing as he listened to the buzzing. There were people placing wagers and commenting on how beautiful Loki looked and which prince deserved him more. There was talk on which prince was likely to win, and what the kings’ reactions would be, and which races' seed was more likely to catch to a Frostfemme.

Loki didn't care about any of it, but the wait and the anxiety of finding out which alien would have him first was starting to make him feel sick again, and if he vomited at the table the realms would be talking for centuries. It was just mating, what was he getting worked up? What was the worst that could happen, pain? He could handle pain, he _could_...

At his last wits Loki looked up at his father, but the man was smiling at the sea of faces and making introductions to the day and explaining what would follow afterwards. 

_He_ wanted this, there was no changing his mind.

“Today I congratulate the sons of Álfheimr and Asgard. They have proven themselves worthy of a prince of Jötunheimr, of a union with Jötunheimr, with my only Frostfemme son, and so they will face one another to decide who has the honour of first mate. It is a custom of Jötunheimr…”

The rest of his words were lost to Loki. He slipped back into a small stupor and watched as the morning slipped away before he could count the seconds. At some point Thrym joined them, enduring a scold from Laufey before falling into his seat, asking Loki what he had missed.

“Loki? Are you okay?” he asked once he caught onto the mood around his little brother.

Loki nodded.

Thrym finally knew to keep his mouth shut.

Soon the two princes were in the middle of the room, being led by their fathers who waved to the cheering crowd. It was clear Balor was the true desirer of this union as he smiled broadly and despite his slow pace walked proudly besides his son, who was now stealing more hearts than Thor through his mature grace. The Vanir women especially were swooning for him, disregarding their husbands that they arrived with and cheering as if they were the maidens waiting to be claimed. Silently Laufey wished Loki would follow their example, but he was also glad Loki had never become a whore to crave a man's touch so publically.

Odin smiled convincingly, a hand on Thor's bare shoulder as they hulked forward from there table. Thor was neither smiling nor frowning, but seemed to be soaking up the crowd's support. Frigga was smiling as she watched them off, holding a handkerchief in her hand—or more like _tearing_ a handkerchief in her hand. The Warriors Three and most of the rest of their table were shouting their luck, acting like the rowdy boys they were.

Strangely the Álfheimr table was much less loud than they had ever been. They were mumbling under their breaths. The court said it was a blessing song, but Laufey had the mages be on alert for any magical foul play.

When the men were gathered on the floor, Laufey stood again. 

“There is nothing more that need be said. Your incentive awaits you at my side.” Laufey turned his head slightly to make sure Loki hadn't slithered off his chair. The entire room looked at Loki, many eyes filled with longing and wonder, but Loki refused to look back.

“Let the match commence.”

Unlike before there were no weapons offered for this match. Loki frowned around as the servants left the floors, urging the kings to depart as well. That was when Loki realised that the princes were shirtless and barefoot—they would fight one on one. Loki saw that the floor had been made extra brittle and dry so they wouldn't slip and slide, lacking Jotun capabilities.

This was a battle of power. Thor would excel here, no doubt, and Loki swallowed down the bile in his throat. 

Once the old kings were off the floor and seated and Laufey had finished blabbering on about what-Loki-couldn't-care, the match began.

Loki could not look away if he tried.

Thor moved first. He held no smirk this time, no infuriating smile. Clearly he had been waiting for this moment, his actions seemed practised. He moved fast enough despite his size, jabbing out his large fist in stone-breaking efforts that not many people wanted to be on the receiving end of. Thrym jumped, as eager as everyone one else.

But his shots didn't reach their target and Nuada either dodged or blocked him with swift movements. His own face was serious and Loki couldn't help himself as he glanced worriedly to Nuala who sat holding her father's hand. She looked concerned, but something told Loki it was more for her brother's sake rather than her own. He truly couldn’t empathize; he’d be constantly fretting over his life if it were bound to the wellbeing of another.

Had she been giving an immunity to this fight? What if Thor tore Nuada apart? Loki didn't think he would make it without vomiting if she started screaming.

Once punching became fruitless, Thor tried a different tactic and that was to grab onto Nuada first, _then_ punch his lights out. Thor had large hard hands, hands that had shed much blood in his foolish pursuits of battle, hands that would hold Loki very, very soon.

Thor was no trainee, he was a skilled warrior, but Nuada was slippery and simply turned out of every grip Thor caught him in as if he knew anatomy like that back of his hand. Thor was fast enough to grab him, but he ended up wincing as his wrists twisted and turned this way and that as Nuada just kept squirming. Thor kept trying, gritting his teeth in effort as he realised his match.

Loki wondered if Thor found it similar to when they battled, and if he had looked like Nuada did now when he took on Thor. Nuada was not a small man, but anyone looked small besides Thor, besides of course the Jotun. He must have looked pitiful, a Jotun as small as he taking on Odinson...

But after a long while of annoyingly close calls, first blood was shed. The dwarves and Aesir were making the loudest noise, shouting for someone to be a damn man and show them some blood. Both men took it to heart.

Dodging a punch under Thor's arm Nuada rushed up, using Thor's thigh for a boost. He grabbed hold of Thor's forehead and dived toward the floor where Thor's skull collided solidly in a painful crash. The ice cracked audibly beneath them and the spectators screamed excitedly. Loki jumped, with Thrym and caught his excited gaze. He realised he was breathing a little faster too, and had to manually close his mouth from the awe.

Nuada rolled away before Thor could retaliate. Said man pushed up from the ground with a growl, sporting a bleeding head that ruined his blond hair. He pawed at it, trying to assess the damage as Nuada strolled a few feet away. Half of the crowd roared in favour of Nuada's shot, Thrym was among them this time, nudging Loki on the arm.

Nuada idled a few steps around as he regarded Thor, maintaining a fiery eye contact as he waited for the younger to make the next move. And Thor did, but he was now angry and his focus wavered. He lashed out, swiping angrily until he managed to catch a small handful of Nuada's hair, ripping it out and managing to grab him by the neck in the quick moment of distraction.

Loki looked to Nuala, but there were already two female Elves crowding her, despite her waving them off and folding the loose hair in her hand. The battle quickly stole back his attention as Thor lifted Nuada by the throat with every possible intention of slamming him down in the ice. 

Thrym laughed and cheered happily as Nuada jabbed down the ball of his hand, breaking Thor's nose once more and kicked off from his stomach to land a few feet away as Thor stumbled back, holding his nose.

“Don't be a baby Thor!” one of his friend's shouted, seeming to be amused by his friend's dipping nose. Loki had never seen Nuada glower at someone so darkly.

Turning his back on Asgard's table, Thor clicked his nose back in place with an audible crunch, and Loki almost heaved. Laufey was chuckling at the men, sharing grins with his brothers and sons. Thrym was rubbing his own nose, but Jotuns had flat noses, it was not a sensitive area on a Jotun.

Then Thor was turning back to Nuada, shaking the blood off his hands as if it were water and headed straight for Nuada, a dark gleam present in his eyes now. His shoulders were hunched and everyone leaned in with the tension.

This time Nuada struck out, aiming for his face seeing as it was wounded, but took advantage of Thor's defence by aiming kicks at his ribs. Despite the nose that was probably aching away his vision Thor continued, blocking and retaliating with only a slight delay. 

But then the match turned. It was by luck that he caught Nuada's wrist. He seemed to know it too and desperately held on, and with a mighty pull he flung Nuada over his head and down to the ice, and without releasing him he swung his foot and caught the Elf in the ribs.

Loki inhaled sharply through his nose as Nuada cried out, his first real show of pain through the tests, and flinched violently when Thor took advantage of the situation. Despite favouring neither man he looked around worriedly but no one looked concerned, only eager. Thor could tear anyone apart and Nuada may be skilled but he didn't possess the brawn Thor did. A little voice inside him screamed that the match was unbalanced, but why should he care...?

Breathing heavily like a wounded animal, and looking like one too, Thor twisted Nuada's arm, forcing him on his front, and brought his foot down again and again as if there were a pest beneath his feet.

Again Loki looked at Nuala, but she was still very much alive, staring with a frown at the battle. Balor was rubbing and kissing her fist, while her servants were hovering like a second skin. Loki looked at Thrym, but Thrym's concern was on the battle, and he made a mental note to keep in mind that Thrym was definitely not ready to be neither a king nor a husband.

Thor kicked Nuada twice more before his opponent twisted violently, and caught his foot with his free arm instead. Thor hesitated, but it was just enough time for Nuada to dig his finger nails into the arch beneath Thor's foot and in a shocking jolt brought the giant Aesir down with him.

Thrym led the laughter of awe and support and Loki even cracked a tiny smile, but he was jealous. Why couldn't that have been him?

Nuada rolled up in seconds and struck Thor with his fist as he tried to beat him to their feet. The world swam in Thor's vision and out of habit he tried to sit up again but Nuada was ready and threw his fist—again and again and again until he was covered in blood and Loki was leaning away, wondering just who was Thor.

There was an intensity building in the crowds and the guards hovered cautiously, watching the excited masses. The women who supported Nuada were shrieking, deafening their husbands and eating up the bloody swings like they had been waiting for it.

Thrym said something to Loki but Loki didn't catch it, he was stuck trying not to watch the match and neither the screaming supporters, but it left him with little option.

Then suddenly Nuada got off of Thor and started to pace viciously around him, glancing briefly along the isles of the crowd and once glanced up to the royal table where Loki squeaked breathlessly and nearly slid beneath the table.

“Get up, Thor! Get up!” Thor's blond friend called, all amusement gone, banging his fists on the table with the help of the Aesir guards. Nuada looked at them as if they were filth, but continued to pace as he waited for Thor to rise.

Loki frowned heavily, nearly falling over from the weight. Why didn't Nuada keep striking Thor until he passed out? What was he waiting for? He was letting Thor get up! Loki would have gutted him by now!

To Loki's horror, but the joy of the crowd who would be sad to see an end to the match, the Asgard prince rose. Staggering lightly from the loss of blood and the aching in his face (his nose was probably in shards) Thor made it to his feet and snarled deeply once he found his opponent. He clenched his fists, making every muscle along his arms and into his shoulders bulge, and started towards Nuada where he came face to face with a sudden flutter of clothing and a sharp smack to the temple—and the world went black.

Loki was part of the crowd in that moment as a unified gasp filled the air. There Thor was making his move, looking like a bloody enraged demon straight out of Muspelheim when Nuada turned and did a spinning kick, catching Thor right in the temple and bringing him down without so much as a grunt.

Thor landed on his back and the ice cracked in protest, and Nuada landed quietly on his feet. The crowd sat silent in reactions too shocked to spill. Everyone held their breaths, and Loki leaned forward…

Three breaths worth passed...

…but Thor didn't rise.

The applause was deafening.

Nuada let out a deep breath in relief, sharing it with all of his supporters. Balor, with the help of Nuala and his servants, got up as quickly as he could to go hug and congratulate his son. Nuada met him half way to keep him off the bloodied floor and graciously accepted his praise. The spectators from the foreign realms clapped and called, and Nuada smiled proudly to them when his father released him. The women were still screaming their support, Loki had little doubt they wouldn't be thinking of Nuada when they bed their husbands tonight.

 _Tonight_...

Behind them healers came to retrieve Thor. They dragged him off the ice rather amusingly, much to the anger of the Asgard party. Loki shrunk back at the glare he received from the female warrior that was among Thor's friends. Nuada received many too, but why did he have to get a glare? He was a fucking puppet here! The victim! He didn't _make_ Nuada win! Immediately pissed off, he scowled back at her openly and looked away with a huff, his hands already starting to shake.

Laufey rose and clapped his hands, and the hall went quiet. Nuada and Balor stepped up just below the royal table and awaited his words. Balor was practically glowing in pride. Nuada was bloody and shining in sweat from his effort and victory. It aggravated Loki's imagination, and he stared helplessly at his first partner. He had tried to push the thought to the back of his mind but seeing Nuada panting and shirtless, Loki's mind tormented him with some colourful images.

“It has been decided! Congratulation, Prince Nuada.” Laufey said, and without asking or prompting hooked his hand under Loki's arm and pulled him up. Loki inhaled sharply through his nose and stumbled to his feet and was forced to follow Laufey down to the Elves. There was light chitter-chatter going around the hall as they all watched, eyes big and mouths bigger.

Laufey brought him forward and pushed him gently towards Nuada. “Loki, kiss your victor.” he ordered.

Loki became acutely aware of the audience, but it was Nuada who caught his gaze. The Elf prince was sporting his own injuries and if Loki had been apart of the audience himself he would have said that after such a worthy performance the Elf prince deserved more than a kiss for his efforts for he most certainly had earned it.

Nuada had earned him, against the might of Thor Odinson.

Nuada had earned him.

Swallowing back his own defeat as well as Thor’s, Loki took a careful step forward and had to lick his lips apart for they were stuck together. Nuada watched him but made no move towards him, and waited patiently with the crowd as Loki edged up. At the last moment Loki lost his nerve and planted a kiss on his cheek and quickly pulled away with a burning blush that rivalled that of a boiling pot. 

His shyness was enjoyed rather than seen as offensive and those that supported Nuada chuckled good-heartedly, while the others either kept silent or grumbled childishly. Loki stepped back and gladly allowed his father to wrap his arms around him and savoured the temporary comfort. Balor smiled as if all his dreams had come true and patted Nuada’s shoulders proudly.

Loki only blushed harder and tried not to look at everyone who was fawning over him, but looking down only forced him to take a good look at Nuada's body. And fuck, it wasn't ugly.

Following Nuada's victory was a feast grander than all the others, and after an hour Thor had returned with his wounds healed and looking downright irritable. Odin kept frowning at him and they hadn't shared any words, but he kept his emotions controlled better than his son who sat brooding with his friends. The combined looks from Thor, his blond friend and the woman were enough to make Loki extremely uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to be glad when Nuada reappeared, dressed smartly and cleaned up, stealing the audience once more.

Loki sat in his chair and refused to move. Thrym sensed his distress and brought him his favourite foods so he didn't have to get up, but when he asked for a strong drink, the answer was no. He hissed back heatedly for something to make him light headed but Thrym whispered back that he wasn't allowed to have beer and wine any more as they were not good for conceiving, and he'd have to do without. Also, their father was watching, so they had to behave.

After that Loki sat trying to eat his food. He managed small nibbles but if he didn't want to vomit all over his new bed partner he didn’t want to force anything into his stomach as it rocked like a drunken boat.

A few times Thrym tried to talk to him, but he was at his ends. Eventually Thrym gave up and sat quietly besides him, ignoring his own friends and their brothers as the celebrations wore on. Loki didn't care enough to tell him to just go have a good time like everyone else, if he wanted to sit and mope let him. Maybe Thrym thought he was doing Loki a favour, or maybe he actually realised the significance of tonight. Either way, he did nothing to help and Loki stared at his plate, pained. 

Once Laufey decided Loki and Nuada had eaten enough they were both escorted out to be prepared. It was not a custom of Jötunheimr but to honour Asgard and Álfheimr, who both practiced the ritual, Loki was stripped bare and cleaned thoroughly, as was Nuada who had been taken elsewhere. 

Elven women saw to the process while watched over by a Jotun elder, but they were gentle and hummed a soft melody as they worked around him. There was no hint of disgust or opposition as they kneaded their pale fingers into his blue skin in a healing manner, they had a calm look in their eyes that he wished he could have too. It was soothing but Loki couldn't relax, and sat stiffly in their small hands as they prepared him for his night.

Scented oils compatible with his skin were rubbed in until he smelt like a flower. His hair was brushed back and set across his shoulders in an unnecessary fashion; it'd be disrupted not even a minute into the bedroom.

Instead of a skirt or alike Loki was dressed into a black robe that went well with his hair. His feet remained bare at least, and there were no unnecessary accessories placed upon him like jewellery and hair pieces. He was actually very naked, save for the robe which was cut just above his knees and fitted him perfectly. At the very least it wasn't see through.

When deemed ready the women took him with gentle grasps, almost as if they possibly understood, and led him to where his father waited. Laufey smiled down at him when they arrived and they gave him over without a word, and when Laufey took him by the hand Loki almost turned back to stay with the Elves.

“You look gorgeous, child. Just like Fárbauti did. Be glad, I believe Nuada will do better for your first mate than the yellow lout.” Laufey said, and didn't wait for a response before pulling Loki towards his room. Loki’s entire body was stiff and he walked so, ignoring the eyes that followed them down the corridors and just tried to keep breathing. “Please do not fight. Please. I have given him bounds to mate you with or without your co-operation. For your own sake, do not fight. If your dam were still alive perhaps you would have taken this better. Be _smart_.”

If he knew being smart could hurt so much, Loki would have made himself dumb a long time ago.

There was nothing Loki could say that wouldn't be negative. There was nothing he could verbalise that wouldn't be offensive or weak. So he kept silent, and thought a prayer to his deceased mother for strength. 

He could do this. 

His dam had been betrothed, how had he coped? Loki had never bothered to ask anyone, but no one ever complained about becoming a queen to a king. No one but him...

He could do this. 

A half hour at the very most it would take and he could try to sleep. ...Then wake up knowing it would then be Thor's turn.

His stomach churned.

Too soon, much too soon, Laufey was nudging him inside his room. It was empty, thankfully, but there was new bedding on the bed and for once he didn't want to get acquainted to it.

“Good night, Loki.”

There was no strength to speak, nor will to move, so Loki just stood, back to his father, tears threatening to rise.

This was it.

The door shut behind him and he jumped even though it didn't slam, and immediately tears ran down his cheeks. Quickly he wiped them away and swallowed back any sobbing. He was being ridiculous, he wasn't scared to mate. So what if his father hadn't bothered to ask if he was? So what if he would be passed between two princes for the next few days until one of them managed to impregnate him? So what if he had no say in the matter and would definitely have to leave Jötunheimr soon to be a queen to a stranger's land? So what if his life was never his own...?

So everything.

Loki quickly backed away from the door should Nuada enter at any second and hurried to the side of the bed he preferred, being the left. Should he sit down? Should he remain standing? Or must he lie down? No one had said anything special. He stood, indecisive, until he decided he couldn't sit down anyway, his nerves were shot and his body was tingling. He thought a quick prayer to the potion and started to pace in a tiny circle, holding the robe close against his body as if it could protect him. 

Was it minutes, or hours that passed? He couldn't tell. He couldn't hear anything outside either, but he knew everyone was making the most of the food and drink before they left for their own realms now that the entertainment was over. They couldn't very well watch the mating after all, all they could do now was await to see which prince sewed his oats successfully, and cash in their huge bets.

Then the door creaked and his heart stopped, and no amount of wishing changed the fact that it was Nuada who stepped inside. He was dressed in a robe too, a sleek golden robe that reached his feet whereas Loki's didn't go past his knees. They stared at one another as Nuada shut the door and placed his hands together.

' _Be calm, be calm, be calm_ ' Loki chanted to himself, but moved back slightly as Nuada approached him. The Elf wore a sad expression, almost, and he bowed low.

“Prince Loki.”

Clearly he didn't expect an answer, Loki wouldn't give one anyway, and he slowly, very slowly, reached out and took Loki's hands in his own. Loki nervously let him, and felt the warmth of his flesh mould against his own.

Nuada opened his mouth, but he couldn't decide what to say. They stood in silence once more. He resorted to kneading Loki's hands softly. Nuada had hard hands and long fingers, much like Loki's, only Loki's were slightly softer seeing as Laufey had made sure he was pampered over the years to keep him as a Frostfemme was supposed to be.

“Prince,” Nuada tried again, his eyes on their hands. “...Please allow me the honour?”

What could Loki say? Nuada had permission to hold him down if need be, 'no' was not an option. Nuada had proved he was strong enough to do so, and had the rights to have Loki punished for disobedience if Loki pulled any tricks. Maybe he could retain some dignity if he just went along quietly. His one grandfather that he had always hated used to say 'there is power in submission', perhaps he had been wiser than Loki liked to admit. 

So he nodded. 

Again Nuada looked sad, but he smiled gently as he released Loki's hands. He then carefully lifted a hand and cupped Loki's face and caressed his skin with his thumb, staring closely as if Loki were some rare jewel. Loki held still for him, and watched with morbid curiosity as Nuada seemed to actually enjoy staring into his face. Nuada then cupped his face with both hands and massaged his fingers back into Loki's hair. The movement felt good and Loki kept his lips together to keep from reacting, negatively or positively.

Then those warm hands slid down his neck and crept beneath the collar of his robe, and continued across his shoulders and then down his arms, taking the fabric with them. It was difficult to not stop him, but Loki curled his toes and grit his teeth in effort, and finally the robe fell and pooled around his feet. Nuada's hands wandered forward and slipped into his waist. Then he was urged forward and against Nuada's chest. Taking gratitude that Nuada hadn't stood back to stare at his nakedness Loki hesitantly lifted his arms as Nuada hugged him close and rested his chin on his shoulder.

Nuada's fingers then travelled to his lower back but they went no further, and when they pulled back up, Loki let out a long moan. His body jumped in surprise but a pleasant shiver over took him and it took a moment to figure out what caused that reaction. Nuada must have sensed his question as he slid his hands back down the curves of his body and brought them back up with his nails digging again deliciously into his flesh.

Unable to stop himself Loki moaned in the back of his throat but pulled a face over his shoulder at the sparks that taunted him. Nuada repeated the action, scratching up his body a couple times more before he hugged him again, lifting a hand to cup the back of his head. The gesture was shockingly kind and sweet, but Loki didn't know how to react.

Then Nuada curled his fingers and started to scratch the curve of Loki's skull. Instantly Loki grunted and tightened his hold as his body jerked at the very familiar attentions. His eyes widened and he fidgeted, but he couldn't form words. The arm around his waist tightened as well and he realised in shame he had went boneless for a few moments, so he stood back on his own feet and pointedly pulled away.

Nuada released him immediately. Loki drew his hands to his chest, but hesitated from there when Nuada made no move to grab him. Swallowing, he looked down at the man who was still covered, and back to his face, which was becoming annoyingly patient. He just wanted this over with.

He opened his mouth to ask a question, but he could barely think it in words let alone speak it out. So he turned abruptly and made for the bed. Without looking back he climbed on and willed Nuada to just do the same. _Just get it over with_.

His cheeks flushed at his being so bare and on display, and he pulled his legs up to his chest to hide his shame once seated. His back was tingling from the attention it received but he sat still until he felt the bed go down and Nuada climbed on. He peeked, but he could see no fabric following him this time and focused on staring at his thighs lest he catch an eye full of Álfheimr’s royal cock.

Nuada sat back on his calves and reached out to Loki’s face to turn it. Loki followed reluctantly and kept his eyes to Nuada’s face.

“Lie back.” Nuada said, or did he order? Loki licked his lips to part them to answer, but he was lost for words. Nuada’s fingers ghosted his trembling jaw line before he pulled back his hand and waited.

Loki looked away to steel himself before he could release his legs and lower himself back. He hesitated, wondering wildly how many guards were outside the door, and how far he could make it off the bed itself before Nuada caught him.

But he was shaking, he was emotional, he was no match for a struggle, and losing it would cost him another chunk of pride. At the last moment he allowed himself to fall back and stared up at the ceiling he’d known all his life, and suddenly wondered if he should have appealed for another room to do this in. His room would be forever tainted, even after they left without him, he would stare at the ceiling and _remember_. 

But before he could think any further Nuada climbed between his legs and moved them apart gently with his fingers hooked under Loki’s knees. Loki chewed the inside of his bottom lip and moved them further apart and wiggled a little until he felt he’d given enough access.

From the curves of his knees Nuada dragged his fingers up, and curled them in to start digging in his nails as they made their way up Loki’s thighs. The reaction was immediate and Loki moaned as the sparks returned, but before he could do any more Nuada leaned over him, making him freeze, and pressed his face into his neck. Loki turned his face away shyly, but it gave Nuada more skin and the Elf smelled his skin lightly, then he nipped, and Loki cried out as electricity sparkled down his spine. Shocked, Loki turned his face back with a heavy frown, and found Nuada close, looking down at him with a serene expression.

What was Nuada doing? How was he even-? 

Loki cursed his mating weaknesses.

Nuada smiled and opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head and took hold again under Loki’s thighs. He lifted them a little more and pressed a little closer until his knees pressed against Loki’s buttocks, then he lifted Loki's hips so he rested on Nuada's thighs. When settled, he leaned again, and Loki struggled to know what to do with his hands.

Unfortunately the proximity between their legs made Loki jump and he started to pant as he felt Nuada’s manhood pressing against his own. Despite trying to lie still he lifted his palms and pressed them against Nuada’s chest for something to do with his shaking hands.

He could do this. 

He could be good.

He could take this.

He could-

“ _AH_!” Loki’s body jolted at another nip to his neck. Then another followed and another and Loki lost his nerves along with his control. He cried out as his body began to flush and tingle and he pushed in alarm against the body hovering over his. But again Nuada stopped his nibbling and leaned up on his arms. He looked down worriedly at Loki. 

“H-how are you doing that?” Loki panted, and kept pressing against the muscle, though Nuada didn't remove himself completely.

“Am I hurting you?” Nuada asked.

Loki stared at him, confused, but eventually shook his head.

Nuada smiled. “Then try to relax, I’ve got you.”

Loki frowned, but he hadn’t the strength to argue. When he said nothing more Nuada leaned down and kissed his chest, and started off with kittenish laps across his skin. Loki’s hands ended up on his shoulders and slowly he dug his own nails into the pale flesh as Nuada licked a trail up to his neck. By the time he got to Loki’s left earlobe Loki was grunting softly in an effort to remain quiet and his cock had definitely raised to the occasion. He held on tightly to Nuada’s shoulders and shuddered beneath him as he nibbled on his neck and started massaging his hands down his flanks in firm stroking motions. It made his skin tingle wildly and distracted him to the point where he didn’t realise they’d started grinding until he started to feel the _lack_ of it, and whined angrily for more contact. Nuada obliged without a word.

The following minutes left Loki lost for words, and sense. He was grateful for the lack of pain, but the awe of Nuada’s administrations sent him into a submissive stupor and he lie back accepting each nip, each bite and each scratch. It was nothing like he expected and the pleasure mounted higher and higher as Nuada shared his attentions over the different places of his unexplored body, doing things Helblindi could only wish to do.

 _Doing things Loki had never expected an alien to do_ …

Those slim fingers trailed his family runes, dipping into his curves and drawing out his pleasure. Nuada's tongue was warmer than his fingers, warm and sinfully wet, lapping slickly at his tingling skin. There was a burning beneath his skin, but it was a good burn Loki could feel it, not like the burning of the potion. This was a good burn. It was a good burn...

After a while, Loki felt overwhelmed and groaned, and pushed against Nuada for space. There wasn't much place for him to go as his legs were hooked around Nuada’s waist and they panted together. But as requested Nuada lifted away and Loki pointedly looked down between them, and groaned louder at the sight. Nuada must have deduced it wasn’t a distressed groan and starting rocking his hips again, leaning on his hands over Loki and glancing down as well as their cocks connected and slid along side each other. They were both swollen and stiff, and the contrast of their skin only highlighted each detail.

“Fuck,” Loki choked, but his body was shaking and responding well to Nuada and even bothering to try move away would be laughable. Why move away anyway? This was going to happen. It just wasn’t happening as he dreaded, leaving him more confused than pained.

Nuada leaned over and suddenly kissed his lips. He pulled back quickly, before he could be rejected, and looked into Loki’s eyes.

“You” _kiss_ “are” _kiss_ “ _so_ ” _kiss, nibble_ “beautiful…”

Flattery, cliché, but effective; especially in Loki’s state. His eyes fluttered and his blood boiled. Nuada’s hands drifted all over his body and scratched in all the right places as he rolled his hips. Succumbing to his whim, Loki pressed his lips back, but gave no further action and allowed Nuada to keep kissing him sweetly. 

_Heat_ , it was so hot. Loki had never felt so hot before, it was rising above his skin now. The heat surging off Nuada and the bedding combined with his own internal burning was making him uncomfortable. He sketched out his body to get more air on his skin, but Nuada only attacked what he offered. Then there was the familiar feeling of becoming wet, each time his body clenched he could feel his entrance withholding a build up of moisture, his body preparing itself for breach.

Loki whined in the back of this throat—this was too good. Where was the catch? Where was the pain? Where was the humiliation? His body didn't seem to care though, and he throbbed undeniably in need. 

Then suddenly the touches were gone, and Loki mentally retracted his ungrateful thoughts. Nuada leaned to the side and pulled over a spare pillow. He unhooked Loki’s legs from his body and smiled at his curious frown.

“Please lift your hips.”

Loki’s nose puckered, but he did as asked and lifted his butt. Nuada quickly set the pillow beneath him and guided his hips back down and adjusted it a bit with a few critical looks at the angle that made Loki blush to the point of singeing, knowing what he was looking at. It took all he had not to clench his anal muscles. Now with his lower body propped up his legs splayed apart much more easily on their own, practically beckoning Nuada.

“You are exotic,” Nuada breathed, and placed his hands on Loki’s knees, and slowly dragged them down the inner of Loki’s thighs. The contact sent burning waves of desire straight into Loki’s core and he made a needy sound. His cock twitched in response and his legs jumped together in the effort to cling onto something, and as Nuada slid his hands up his waist Loki grabbed onto his hands on a whim.

They made eye contact.

This was it. 

Loki pressed his lips together, and wished he could do the same with his legs, but his body was long detached from his sober mind. Nuada successfully coaxed him into his most vulnerable and he lay waiting for consummation. 

When Loki stopped breathing harshly Nuada readjusted his hips just to be sure and leaned over on one hand, his hair falling silkily on either side of his face, and let the other wander between them. Loki’s eyes widened but he made no move to stop him.

“Hold on to me,” Nuada whispered, and Loki, in fright and anticipation of what was to come, had no choice but to obey. He forced his shaking arms up and grabbed his wrists around Nuada’s neck and looked back into Nuada’s face. He wanted to look away, but his body was too focused on receiving its mate than his petty need to turn his head.

Loki’s breath hitched as Nuada’s hand slid down his cock, curling gently around his balls before finding his entrance. The unexpected preparation had done wonders for his body despite his emotion turmoil and he was already slick with natural lubrication. He could feel it ooze out at the pressure and watched, breathless, as Nuada’s face contorted when he felt it too and circled two fingers into it. Nuada’s nostrils flared as he inhaled nasally, his dark lips pressed together tightly in effort. 

Not so lucky with his control, Loki moaned lowly and pressed his head back into the bedding, feeling every second of those two fingers as they pressed and circled his puckered opening, spreading the moisture around.

Then Nuada leaned forward and licked the exposed curve of his neck, and simultaneously plunged two fingers into Loki. Loki cried out, but there was no pain. He was slick and his body was expecting mating, and the average size of a Jotun’s penis was _far_ larger than two fingers. They slid in completely without resistance and he clenched down on them, moaning aloud at the sensations it sent through his body. His hips bucked and his cock held stiff against his stomach, and his hips bucked again at the feeling of Nuada’s cock heavy against him.

Loki had never been _this_ wet when fingering himself, and it felt all the more intense now. He could feel his entrance squeeze, but he was too wet to cling and Nuada moved his fingers in and out smoothly, pressing in different directions each time and scraping his nails along his walls. Loki panted, making little sounds as Nuada mouthed at his neck.

His shame slipped away and he pressed up his bottom, lifting a shaking leg. Nuada held himself up using his abdominal muscles and helped Loki to hook his leg around his waist, then carefully removed his fingers and hooked up the other leg, and finally took hold of himself.

“My prince,” he breathed, and brought his lips down over Loki’s. Loki tightened his grip and he closed his eyes, their breaths mingling. Nuada shifted, and there was pressure again at his hole. 

This time it took two tries, and he was re-entered.

For many reasons, Loki cried out, and dug his fingers into Nuada’s back. His eyes shot open despite feeling safer with them closed, and he got caught in Nuada’s heated stare. His breath turned into little desperate pants as he experience true mating for the first time, and gasped loudly as Nuada pushed forward. The entry was too easy for Loki’s liking and he panicked, and released his hands to push instead of pull. But Nuada didn’t budge and held him firmly by the hips as he pulled back a little, and drove forward again, disappearing to the hilt in the tight Jotun warmth.

Finally Loki felt a spark of pain and winced loudly, and continued to push but it was half hearted—he just wanted to keep it out there that he wasn’t anyone’s whore. He couldn’t help his body’s reactions. But the mating was bearable so far and as Nuada shifted inside him, he felt his insides clench around him and suffered the horrible desire to beg for movement.

But Nuada was kind and didn’t make him.

Once Loki’s legs were secure and he was kneeling properly, Nuada placed his hands on either side of Loki’s head and rolled his hips. Loki moaned and his hands slid down to either of Nuada’s arms and they grabbed onto his biceps for leverage. Loki had longer nails than Nuada and they carved into his skin, but scratching was an important part of Jotun mating and to remove that would be horribly unfair for Loki. So Nuada stuck it out even when Loki started to unknowingly break the skin, and he focused on watching Loki’s beautiful face as they started to rock.

Loki’s mouth remained open and he turned his head back as Nuada started to move faster and faster just when he thought he had grown accustom. As his initial nerves wore off and he got some influence back in his body Loki winced at the feeling of being stretched. Nuada was no Jotun but he was large enough and Loki had never had anyone inside him but his own fingers, which were nothing in comparison to a cock. His channel squeezed around the foreign flesh, welcoming it, savouring it, pouring hot tight desire into his core. Each thrust felt better than the last and before Loki knew it he was being thoroughly bred.

In the back of his mind, as he stared at the ceiling, he thought to himself that it hadn’t been as hard as he feared. His father had been right, and Nuada had done an excellent job, he had to admit that to himself. But how it was possible, he didn’t know. Had Nuada mated Jotuns before? Unlikely, unless he knew other Frostfemmes, or didn’t mind his submissives double and triple his size. But with how brilliant Nuada was at everything else, did he need an explanation to be good at mating too?

Each time Nuada sped up and held him tighter, Loki reminded himself that Nuada had earned this, without exaggeration. He beat three of the best Jotun warriors, beat Thor Odinson himself, and gotten the better of Loki of Jötunheimr, and all without a smirk or arrogant comment. He was a picture of perfection—and fuck he was good at mating _what the fuck was that_?!

Yowling angrily at the shot of raw pleasure shooting through his body, Loki looked up accusingly at Nuada who just laughed breathlessly.

“Was that good?” he asked, and bit the skin on the outer side of Loki’s hand. The pleasure surged through him again and he made another loud noise in response, but he went limp and moaned helplessly. Nuada kissed his hand, never stopping his thrusts. “Must I do it again?”

Loki nodded before thinking.

Nuada bit him again.

Loki arched his back.

Nuada leaned over and bit his shoulder.

Loki roughly threw his arms around Nuada’s shoulders and started to energetically thrust his hips down.

Nuada lay down on his chest and reached down to hook his long fingers around the back of Loki’s thighs.

Loki squirmed angrily.

Nuada thrust brutally.

The heavy feeling of a warm body on him made his toes curl, and he wanted to spread and tighten his legs at the same time. Their skin was clammy and sweaty, the air hot and musky and filled with wet squelches. It ignited all his primal instincts, he _wanted_ to be mated and bred, held down onto a surface by a strong needy man that aimed to fill him with fresh seed. Nuada did not disappoint and fucked into him with a perfect rhythm, holding him tighter and pressing closer between his spread thighs until Loki was shaking uncontrollably. 

The erotic slapping of skin and the assault on his sensitive anus made Loki scream. He threw his head back blindly and squeezed Nuada close, his cock pressed tightly between their taunt bodies as Nuada drove into him again and again until his inexperienced body could take no more, and he climaxed. Loki screamed and stiffened beneath the other prince, clenching down painfully on his penis and ejaculated his release between their stomachs. His inners tightened and contracted in the strangest way and it hurt as they did so around Nuada’s stiff flesh. He drew blood as he dug his nails into Nuada and suffered through his climax as it subsided, leaving him boneless, but locked into position.

Now in a state of bliss, Loki let out a weak sound and looked up at Nuada who was staring down hard at him, straight into his eyes. Loki blinked tiredly, and silently acknowledged his thanks for a trauma-less first mate.

Nuada shifted, and Loki’s eyes widened at the feel of a very hard penis still within him. He wetted his lips, which had dried through all his panting, and looked up, confused. Nuada just smiled gently, and readjusted his grip. “I won’t be long now.” He said, and started up his thrusts again.

Loki choked out his breath in surprise but he could do little to resist. He lay quietly and obediently and waited for the other to spill his seed which, contrary to popular belief, would _not_ get him pregnant. Now that his own high had come and gone, there was a stinging ache each time he was entered. He could feel his heartbeat around his ring, a hard throb every second or so.

As Nuada moved above him, Loki thought about the potion and the irony of tormenting himself this way. If he just got pregnant they couldn’t use it as an excuse to mate again, but now he’d have to endure as many mates as it took until they realised a pregnancy would not happen. He laughed, making Nuada look up from his neck.

Loki blushed and quickly shook his head, and dug a heel into his thigh for him to continue. Nuada did after a moment, but came soon quickly after, and buried his face in Loki’s neck as he did, grunting out soft chorus of pure pleasure. The sound and feel of it made Loki flush, but he kept still as though moving would provoke another round.

Nuada let out a deep breath a small pause later, and immediately he withdrew. Loki made a couple inevitable sounds as Nuada pulled out, leaving him feeling oddly cold and missing something. The Elf lifted himself off and fell besides Loki, where they lay together quietly afterwards until they got back their breaths.

That ceiling would never be the same.

“Forgive me,”

Loki flinched, still a little dazed. Nuada was staring at the ceiling too, looking a little too troubled for one who just bedded his prize.

“...But thank you.” he continued, and fumbled with the furs to cover them. He was suddenly avoiding eye contact, and Loki wondered tiredly what his problem was.

Loki said nothing, and gladly pulled the furs up to his chin with shaking hands. Then Nuada sat up abruptly and Loki flinched again. He watched as Nuada hesitated, and lifted the furs from the bottom side, revealing Loki's lower body. Loki made a worried sound as the other prince stared at his legs, what did he want now? Surely not more? But then Nuada reached for his thighs and Loki struggled to jerk away.

“No, no, prince, calm down, I forgot the pillow.” Nuada managed to grab the side of it and tugged lightly as proof, and held his other hand up, “I'm just removing the pillow so you may be comfortable.” 

Loki panted, leaning away, and gave neither permission nor refusal. Nuada again didn't wait too long for an answer and eased the pillow away, tossing it onto the floor and tucking the furs back in place.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, and lay back awkwardly. Loki stared, confused and tired, but leaned back into his place and tucked the furs under his chin, going back to staring at the ceiling. Nuada followed his example.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	9. Thor Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gets acquainted with a couple Asgardians.
> 
> One experience is harsher than the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Does anyone else ship Azog/Loki? ~~Yeah I’m going to oneshot that shit.~~
> 
> WARNINGS: This chapter has much darker dub con sex than the last. If you have problems with rape and aggressive sex basically I would advise skipping the end. It’s just porn, you won’t miss anything. I do not condone rape, this is a work of fiction. 
> 
> I apologize for spelling errors~

** Chapter 9: Thor Day One **

The next morning Loki woke to the shaking of his shoulder. It was cold and firm, a Jotun hand. He had the feeling Nuada wouldn't have woken him anyway, last night had been odd to say the least. His dreams had been empty, his sleep had been deep, and his arm might have gone to sleep at some point. He cracked his eyes open reluctantly and looked up into the face of one of the Jotun healers.

His name was Berhuir, Loki knew him from his youth. Berhuir was usually the one to tend to the royal family, and Loki knew he used to be close friends with his dam. There was usually an amount of mutual respect and silent acknowledgement between them, but this morning was not one he wished to share.

Was Nuada still with him? Loki sighed as he tried to sit up, and looked at the other side of the bed. It was empty, he was alone with the three healers. 

“Where is he?” Loki asked, voice thick from sleep before he cleared it.

“We removed him this morning. He isn’t allowed to mate with you today, it is Prince Thor’s day.”

Loki scowled up at Berhuir. “It’s morning, who says we’d mate, _again_? _This_ early?” Sitting up was not an easy business, every movement made it feel like there was a cock still up his backside, and his hole had a rather prominent heartbeat. 

“It’s not a matter of that. You may see him in public but you are not to be alone together until after tonight, or on the following day’s belonging to Thor. Now please, lie back, we must assess any damage.” Berhuir said frankly, and shoved Loki back into the bed by his forehead.

Loki huffed but stayed down, wiggling out his backside so he didn't put too much pressure on it. The two other healers were waiting with clothes and small tubs of what must have been healing salves.

“I’m not damaged.” he mumbled, debating whether to get up again. 

“Please don’t make me call your father.” Berhuir sighed. Loki pulled a face at them, but this was also something he couldn't escape. Irritably he pushed away the furs and lifted his knees, but kept them sealed. Berhuir muttered a neutral thank you and patted his knees, turning to his helpers for whatever equipment he needed.

Lying back down was a small relief on his back, he could feel a slight pull in it, but it was nothing horrendous. He stared up at the ceiling that he'd made new memories with, and tried to be patient and still as Berhuir started to examine him, doing his best not to blush in front of them.

“You're a little warm, but once you get out of bed that will cease...” Berhuir felt along his ribs and asked if he suspected he had any broken tissue or sprained joints. If he _had_ Loki wouldn't have been lying and glowering, it should have been obvious. Nuada had been extremely gentle with him all things considered, he truly had no room to complain. He didn't _want_ to complain, lest he receive worse.

“On your stomach.” Berhuir patted his thigh, and smiled at the reluctant whine Loki gave as he dragged himself over, turning to squint a glare at the other two healers. 

Berhuir had never been one to beat around the bush, Loki had always liked that about him. But it didn’t mean he liked _this_. He smacked Loki's thighs apart and probed for his no longer virgin hole. 

Loki inhaled with a squeak at the contact, unable to keep from clenching. Berhuir put a hand on the small of his back and scratched him lightly. Loki sagged immediately, a soft mewl escaping.

“Relax your body.” Berhuir pressed through his feeble resistance, sparking a faint throb from the puckered ring.

Loki grunted and he honestly tried, but once inside the finger slid smoothly, probably in Nuada's release, and the glide was appealing. He struggled to restrain his noises as Berhuir felt around, and finally withdrew to inspect the remnants.

“You didn't bleed, good. No, not yet—” Berhuir held him down by his lower back, giving him a reward scratch when he complied, albeit huffily. Loki pressed his face into his pillow and groaned into it, his face flushing as Berhuir started to clean him with a damp cloth. Nuada's release had leaked out of him during the night and dried around the back of his thighs and crease of his buttocks. 

“Do you have to do that?” Loki grunted, then yelped as Berhuir pressed hard against his hole.

“You can't be dirty and expect the salve to work.”

“But I'm not damaged.” ‘ _I can do this myself_ ,’ he meant to say.

“No, but you aren't going to get a reprieve tonight so we need to take the swelling down.” Berhuir didn't torment him for too long, but soaked out the excess seed into the rag before applying the salve. He didn't press it too far in this time, and when done he slapped Loki’s rump playfully, earning a hiss.

“There, all done.” He announced, chuckling as Loki scrambled to the other side of the bed.

“Thanks,” Loki said sourly, fighting with the furs to cover his shame. The salve tingled lightly, but he'd be lying if he said it didn't work. That salve was a miracle cure, only second to magical healing.

“Your father will be relieved.” Berhuir said.

Loki rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to answer that. After that Berhuir and his helpers didn't hover, they bid their goodbyes and wished Loki a good day. _And_ reminded him he was to get dressed and go eat breakfast with his family.

Lazily, Loki dropped back into the furs once again and burrowed into them, and contemplated the possibility of falling asleep and playing weak. His body felt fine, save for the odd feeling of being sated and the distant heartbeat present around his ring...

He had mated. He had mated with Prince Nuada. In his bed. The bed still smelled faintly like Nuada. Nuada had left his seed inside him. He had been mated. He had fucking _enjoyed_ that too. But he shouldn't, Nuada didn't care about him, he shouldn't give away the pleasures of his body willingly. He should have fought. Why didn't he fight? But there wasn't any pain, was that why he hadn't fought? Nuada's fingers felt like heaven against his skin, he wouldn't mind feeling that again. But he shouldn't, he wasn't a whore. He was a prince. A free prince. Yes, he was—

“Alive. Please tell me you're alive.”

Loki groaned into the furs as Thrym crept in, shutting the door when he watch the lump move.

“Thank goodness.” Thrym said, and crept around to where he thought Loki's head was. He hesitated, wondering if Loki was enraged, crying, or finally insane. “...Icicle?”

Livid, Loki kicked out a leg wildly toward Thrym's voice. “Stop _calling me that_!”

Thrym dodged the lame attempt, and relaxed slightly as Loki fought off the furs to glare at him, no sign of tears or insanity. “Ahh, you're okay.”

“Of course I am okay!”

“Okay, okay, I am just checking! Gods, don't you _want_ me to care?”

“Nobody _cares_ ,” Loki scoffed, sitting up. His back gave a slight pull but he ignored it.

Thrym sat besides him, linking his fingers. The action itself was annoyingly curious. “So...”

Loki stared darkly at him.

“...How was it?”

“Are you actually asking me that?”

“We're both adults now, now we can share mating stories! All the funny stuff. Did he do anything embarrassing? Was he endowed? Or...did he hurt you?”

Loki knew Thrym was trying to lighten the mood, but this was not going to be discussed. Not today.

Loki sighed and scowled, holding the furs to his crotch. “I am not talking about it. Even if he broke my back there's nothing you can do. I'm theirs until one gets lucky.”

Looking down, Thrym sighed too, but quickly looked up with another bright smile. “I spoke to Princess Nuala again.”

“Oh?” Loki failed horribly at faking his enthusiasm, but Thrym paid it no mind.

“Just after you and Nuada left. Apparently she had to leave too, everyone was talking about it.”

Loki frowned. “What—like— _leave_ leave? To Álfheimr?”

“No, to her room. Have you heard about that weird bond she has with her brother?”

“Yes, Thrym,” Loki droned. _He_ had been the one to mention it to Thrym first, but clearly his words were lost beneath everyone else's.

“If he bleeds, she bleeds, kind of thing? Well, the men were talking and there was a slight er...talk. On what happens to her when Nuada...you know.”

Loki flushed as he caught on, “What?”

“Yeah, some of the Asgard and our men were getting quite technical. You'll be proud to hear I broke two jaws and a hand.”

“You got into a fight?” Loki almost laughed, were it not so shocking. Thrym _never_ fought over potential mates, he was simply too laid back and apathetic. He’d have a whole line to choose from anyway when he became king.

“I just saved Nuada the trouble. They were saying she would feel the entire mate and get aroused herself, and that they should _pay her a visit_. As if. Father wasn't impressed but I think it'll get us a few smiles from Álfheimr.”

“…You got into a fight for the Elf?”

“Didn’t you?” Thrym smirked.

“You’re an idiot.” Loki snapped, then frowned. “… _Did_ she feel the mate?”

“I don’t know, haven’t seen her since last night. I suppose she would have felt _something_ , if she had to take suppressants.”

“She had to take suppressants?!” Loki went navy blue. How the fuck was he expected to have a marriage with a plus one? It was enough he had to go to breakfast now and look into Nuada’s face, how the Hel was he expected to do the same to Nuala if she felt her brother’s sexual enjoyment last night? What the _fuck_ was wrong with his life, where had it taken such a turn?

“Say it, don’t _spray_ it.” Thrym wiped his cheek, and shrugged. “They said something about ‘until they learn how to block it from each other’. I mean, it _would_ be weird for them, you know, climaxing at random moments.”

“ _You think_?” Loki hissed. Great, more humiliation for him. He hadn’t thought of this… Well today was Thor’s turn, at least he didn’t have the same problem. …Fuck today was Thor’s turn…

“…You okay?” Thrym asked softly.

“…No.” Loki whispered, honestly.

Lost for words as he usually was when Loki was depressed, Thrym resigned and focused on getting Loki dressed. It was more difficult than usual. Not because Loki refused to get dressed, but _because_ he got dressed so obediently. Thrym liked to focus on the positive, and Loki was a tough one, but whenever Loki was sad instead of angry it was a cause for alarm. He couldn’t help glancing at the bed as if the night’s activities would play out and he could find something to foul Nuada with. Unfortunately Loki looked to be in good shape, only his mood was suffering, and that wasn’t enough defence.

Eventually Thrym got Loki out the room, dressed in clothing in support of Asgard, and led him down to breakfast. The staring was more than even Thrym could handle and he shot the guards and servants glares, making half the palace’s population duck and turn the other way. Loki said nothing.

No longer were their halls crowded with visitors, they had left now that the entertainment was over. In the hall there was a large table set out, where Asgard and Álfheimr sat among the other Jotun royals for a civilized breakfast. If Loki was still himself Thrym would have cracked a joke, but he reined it in with great effort for the sake of Loki’s sanity.

They arrived and everyone looked up. Loki only noticed the chatter when it stopped, but left a piercing silence in its wake. Smiling painfully, because Loki wouldn't, Thrym helped Loki into a chair that was waiting for him besides Laufey, and aimed himself for the one besides it, sandwiching Loki between them

Thrym pushed in Loki’s chair and sat down besides him, and Loki realised he did ache a little more than he dared to admit. The urge to lean to the side to relieve the pressure was beckoning him, but he wouldn't dare show it and give them more to talk about. 

Making it worse he could see Nuada in his peripheral vision, and his face burned anyway.

From his right Laufey shifted and laid a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to look up. “Loki, are you well?”

Why didn't he try asking that in private where Loki could be honest? Greedy bastard. “Yes Father.” he said between his teeth. Everyone was looking at them, his skin would melt off any moment.

“What did the healer say?”

“I’m fine.” He'd rather choke on his melting skin and die before explaining at the table the results of his coupling. At least no one else was saying anything. When Loki looked away he noticed Thor and Odin were present too watching him silently. He didn’t see Frigga or Nuala.

Thankfully Laufey didn't pressure him to say more, and petted his cheek affectionately. Loki could feel the dare from his father to pull away. “Good, I am glad to hear that. Nuada, may luck be in your favour.”

Nuada nodded from across the table. “Thank you, your highness.” Loki kept his face directly to his plate.

“Thor, may luck decide equally between the two of you, may tonight be fruitful.”

“Thank you.” Thor said from his spot.

Loki froze at the word fruitful—he'd forgotten to take his potion! _Shit_!

No calm down, it was still early, he still had time. The potion was not very specific, he could miss an hour or so of his schedule. 

Quickly, the table slipped back into dreary conversation. Thrym took the responsibility of filling Loki's plate, sharing glances with Laufey over Loki's head.

Loki tried to force some food down his throat, but each time his backside throbbed he felt as if he had been filled enough. It stole away his appetite, but he needed a distraction to ignore whatever topics were being passed around, for they were pointedly bland and no doubt he'd be on the tip of their tongues in private. 

No one else said anything to him, and he was glad for it. Once he'd eaten enough to placate his father he mumbled an 'excuse me' and got up with the goal of getting to his potion.

Laufey grabbed him as if he was a prisoner trying to escape. A dozen eating utensils chimed as they stopped to watch. 

“Father,” Loki choked, bug eyed, and tried to pull his arm free.

Laufey seemed to realise his action and loosened his grip, and took to holding Loki's wrist. “Where are you going?” he asked calmly.

“To-to...I need a moment to...I...freshen myself.”

The occupants at the table glanced at one another, keeping their comments to themselves. One of Laufey's brothers coughed, and Laufey grudgingly released his son. He rubbed his arm in apology.

“Go on then, return when you are ready.”

Loki stumbled from the table, his face burning hotter, but he kept from meeting anyone's eyes as he hurried off.

Laufey frowned after him, and looked back to Odin and Balor. “I apologise for my son, he was never a social creature, it’s one of his few flaws.”

“He is shy, leave him be.” Balor said dismissively, and started up the table's chatter, while Nuada and Thor watched after Loki.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Loki took his potion as quickly as he could get to it and welcomed the simmering with open arms. He had to manually resist the urge to take a second now that he had been mated. He could _not_ forget to take it. But what if it didn't work? What if... There was no guarantee, but he was still very much counting on it. 

Leaning back against the wall in his room, he thought back to last night, and glanced at his bed with a blush. He'd never be able to sleep in there again without feeling Nuada's touches.

Nuada... He had done brilliantly; Loki had expected to be holding back cries of pain. Instead he'd be trying to hold back cries of pleasure. That had been one of the most intense peaks he'd ever had...Not that he should peak again, it was the doorway to babies.

In response to his thoughts his entrance gave a small heartbeat throb. His face burned for the umpteenth time and he glanced at the door before lifting his lower body away from the wall and slipped his hand back and into his clothing. He pressed a hand around his buttocks and carefully curled his fingers until he found his entrance. He pressed, half expecting Nuada's seed to trickle out. He winced lightly at the overly tender condition it was in. 

He didn't feel different, a little sensitive and softer than usual, but he was intact. He didn't know what he was looking for in the first place, and quickly stopped his exploring. He straighten his clothing and decided he needed more food to soak the potion in, maybe some wine if he could find it, but he'd go to the kitchens for that where the servants could be threatened to stop looking at him.

After poising himself he swung open his door and stepped out, and almost knocked into someone. “Oh!” 

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you!” the person squeaked, their tone friendly, and they held onto each other to stop from toppling over.

Loki mimicked her squeak. “Queen Frigga, I'm sorry! Excuse me. I…I’m still asleep. What can I do for you?”

Frigga smiled beautifully, clasping her hands. “Well, I thought we could spend some time together today? I know your mother passed when you were a child, so I thought maybe you’d like someone to talk to. I know I’m not your mother, but there’s a chance I am going to be your mother-in-law, and even if not, I should be here for you.” She smiled kindly at him, and he thought to Nuala and her apparent kind nature. He would have assumed all females were like that, were it not for that Asgardian female part of Thor's friends.

“…The realms often speak of your kindness.” he replied, and wondered just what she saw in Odin.

She stepped back to allow him to exit his room. “Shall we go somewhere? No other boys, no fathers, just us.”

Loki thought about the food waiting, but she genuinely looked eager and he could not turn down the Allmother. Perhaps he shouldn't eat more anyway, his nerves weren't very stable. So he smiled, offered his arm to her, and allowed her to lead him away. 

They didn't go far, and stopped at a balcony that oversaw the inner city of Utgard. It was a much grander view than what one sees when approaching from the Bifrost, and her awe proved it.

“My goodness, I have never seen this side of Jötunheimr.”

There was a cool breeze blowing, caressing his cheeks against the gentle burning in his belly. Frigga had on a small fur today, the temperature must have been lower. “Yes, it’s magnificent. Easy to get lost in.” he added, and looked around his land. The land he would have to leave.

“…My husband has always been a prideful fool.” she said softly, and Loki did a double take.

“Pardon?”

Frigga smiled with a special twinkle in her eyes. “But so has your father. King Balor might be the only mature king here, but don’t tell them I said that.”

Loki smiled authentically. “I won’t.” 

But her face fell, and she sighed. Loki's smile faltered, and he waited to hear what she dragged him away to say. “I am not here to sugar coat my son, Loki. I know who he is to your people and how he feels concerning the matter. He is scared too, and I fear you will suffer for it.”

Loki's brows popped up, and he tried not to look as concerned as he felt. He was definitely not eating again today. “…That is frighteningly honest.” he breathed.

“No, no, he won’t purposely hurt you for enjoyment, I have already spoken to him, but…he is not a patient man, not like Prince Nuada. You can see the patience in his aura, but I’m afraid those are traits my son has yet to gain.” she looked sheepish, sorry, _embarrassed_ even. “So just…don’t expect much. He is a good boy but…”

Well, this was unexpected. He nodded, and swallowed down the fear trying to creep up his throat. “Thank you for warning me.”

Frigga looked torn between the middle. She sighed heavily and rubbed his arm with only a second’s hesitance, showing no disgust or contempt. “He is very loving and protective Loki. But it might take a while to show around you. Odin sewed the seeds of distrust and hatred for your people into Thor’s heart from young. It is not fair to you or Thor now, and like Balor said, there is strength in your eyes. I don’t fear he will subdue you, but I fear the struggle you will have when resisting. Just be ready.”

Suddenly he felt much more exposed than he had that morning at breakfast. Frigga was certainly not joking and she was being honest, and the truth always hurts. Yes, he had expected so from Thor, but to hear it from Thor's own mother was unexpected. He tried his best to smile and look grateful for the warnings. “…Thank you. You’re right…I think you just spoke aloud my inner musings. Princess Nuala warned me too. She didn’t speak against Asgard, but she too thought to prepare me for Thor’s mighty might.”

“Nuala is a sweet girl,” Frigga paused, then laughed nervously. “I was about to say she would have made a good wife to you, but Odin and Balor have made it quite clear that you are not…well…equipped to be a husband that way.”

“No, apparently not.” He mumbled bitterly. Being confused at womanly parts, Loki might have put up with it if it meant escaping a man’s clutches. Maybe then he'd get respect.

Frigga glanced briefly over him. “You don’t agree?”

“Not particularly. But as you can see, I’m not built right. Even in comparison to Asgard men. Father says he’s seen many women from other realms and I am akin to them. No one calls the king _pretty_ , and I'm sure no one calls Nuada or Thor pretty.”

“You are not lesser than them.” Frigga said, gently. Loki looked up in surprise again. He hadn't expected such an observant answer.

“Apparently I am. Is your kind not treated lesser on Asgard? Do you not have to hold your tongue when your husband demands so? Yield to his will?”

“Yes. But it isn’t like that…It’s-….you’ll find your place.” She looked uncomfortable, like she didn't know how to explain something. 

Loki shook his head. “I may be Frostfemme but I am- …never mind. It matters not, my fate will be sealed and I have three kings who will see to it.” There he was again spewing out his opinions to family members of the princes. He couldn't do that, it could land him in trouble, but dammit these women were so easily getting under his mask.

“Patience will come, Loki. I was young too. I was scared and even unwilling. But you will grow and adapt. And when you become a mother you will find a better reason to adapt.” 

Loki turned back to her with a troubled frown. She gave a shrug and looked down into her palm, tracing the lines lightly in thought. “I didn’t love Odin. I was betrothed and I had no say in the matter. I was very young, as you can see my age to Odin’s differs by far.” Loki nodded, but kept silent. “‘I struggled for a long time afterwards to be the wife of the great King Odin and Queen of glorious Asgard. So much was expected of me. But then I grew round with child and soon after Thor was born…. He was fat and pink, angry little fists and thick blond hair. He was absolutely gorgeous.” Her face lined with nostalgia, enough so that Loki’s heart softened minutely. 

“It was then that I realised that I _could_ be a wife and a mother, I _could_ be patient and wise, I just needed a heartfelt reason. Thor was that reason. I became a woman only because he was my babe and he needed me, he was innocent. How could I not try for him? I learned it was easier to love Odin after I had made peace with myself. Maybe your peace will come after your child too, if not the man.”

Had this been anyone but Frigga he might have rudely dismissed their words by drowning them in the potion.

He smiled weakly, nodding falsely to her advise, knowing it wouldn't be needed.

“Loki, are you alright?”

Loki looked up, her tone confusing him. “Why do you asked?”

“You just seem...” As if he didn't feel exposed enough, she leaned closer and stared into him, as if watching the blood travelling through his very veins. “...odd.” she finished, confused herself.

“I'm fine.” Loki said quickly, then panicked when she frowned down at his lower body. Could she know about the potion? She _was_ the Allmother. But he was Jotun, what were the chances she knew about Jotun breeding?

He didn't want to take the chance. “I have to go, Lady Frigga. Please excuse me.”

He didn't wait for a reply before rushing away.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The day was an odd one for everyone. Laufey spent it trying not to get irritable by the fact that Odin and Balor were still around, while getting everyone back to work. The Asgardian guards spent it sparring with the Jotun guards under Thrym's supervision, and he did a good job of keeping the tension low, getting everyone from last night’s brawl in happy spirits again. The entire Álfheimr party were not to be seen, staying in their designated rooms and doing who-knows-what. Nuada and Nuala kept from each other in a silent mutual agreement. The Warriors Three and Sif roamed about with Thor, making his mood worse for wear.

“I am telling you Thor, food brings people together. Share a few meals with him. You'll see.” 

“How is it possible you find all your solutions from food?” Hogun asked, sharing a chuckle with Thor.

“I beg your pardon, do I _ever_ have any sort of problems? Any at all? No, because my solutions work.”

Sif pulled her lips with Hogun and Thor, none of them could deny that. “You put forth an unbeatable argument, Volstagg.”

“If eating solved all my problems I would agree.” Fandral said, shooting Volstagg a furrowed challenge.

“If it's women on the menu that will solve nothing.” Volstagg shot back, then nudged Sif, “Of course no offence, Sif. I mean the type of women Fandral attracts.”

“Those of taverns and tatters.” Sif added, sharing a laugh with the group.

“Oh, Sif stop your hating. I can arrange for a young woman for you if you'd like.” Fandral grinned. “After all if neither Thor nor myself can—” he cut off to the blade at his throat.

“Finish that sentence and I'll castrate you,” Sif said, calmly.

“Ooh, his life will be over then.” Volstagg laughed, and Hogun smirked, “I'm sure the brothels could do with another eunuch. Those poor boys are overworked seeing as they are in short supply.”

“I would much rather talk about food than Fandral working as a castrated whoreboy.” Thor crinkled his nose at the image, but it sent Volstagg happily back into his musings. 

“I speak nothing but the truth. Food will ease you into it. Jotuns love their meat, that already should bring you together!”

“Jotuns...” Thor hovered on the word, glancing at the servants that crept about their company. 

“If all else is unsatisfactory, just follow Fandral once he's asleep.” Hogun said, sympathetically. They all felt for Thor and the predicament of having a Jotun as a bride, and his sex life was one of the more pressing issues seeing as it would be technically a duty. They'd come to the solution that Thor continue to visit brothels for company every so often when he's reached a boiling point. Odin hadn't forbid it, so that was that.

“Assuming Loki doesn't freeze you to the bed so you can't escape for the night.” Fandral said.

“He doesn't strike me as a masochist,” Thor replied, “If he doesn't like me I doubt he'd want me around more than necessary.”

“Especially if the sex is bad.”

Thor rolled his eyes.

“Do Jotuns have brothels?” Sif asked, glancing at the guards walking about, “I haven't seen any pleasure servants. ...Not that we'd know, they're _all_ half naked and look alike.”

“Maybe Loki will bring personal servants to Asgard with him. Like a chef, and a hand servant. Maybe he'll bring his own whore to please him when you run off to the brothel. It will be a good arrangement for you both.” 

Thor grimaced, and Volstagg tutted. “Nonsense. Food can be useful in bed. Lather him in cream and strawberries and I promise you'll never get out.”

“I doubt Jotuns practice foreplay.” Thor chuckled nervously, trying to picture the image in his head, but all he was getting was a blue cock and a flat rune-lined chest. He didn't know if he was ready to lather about in _that_. “Thank you for trying, Volstagg.”

“How do you think Nuada did?” Sif asked suddenly, and the group's silence rivalled that of a grave.

Fandral was the first to open his gob. “Well, I heard—”

“I rarely trust what you 'heard',” Sif narrowed her eyes, “You never pass on the _actual message_.”

“Like that time he confused a donkey and a pony.”

“Shut up, Hogun.”

“If Loki was in good health so he couldn't have mucked about.” Volstagg said, shrugging neutrally. 

“Ah, but the Elves aren't famous for being exquisite lovers, are they?” Fandral said, “But I suppose it’s fitting, their men and women look similar, it must be quite a boring variety. Nothing gets their blood flowing. ' _Oh heavens, another beautiful tall angular woman—or is that a man_?'”

The group laughed, and glanced around guiltily should they have been over heard. 

“Do you remember Midgard's Elves?” Volstagg asked, “I wouldn't mind a few of those in Asgard. It's a pity they are so far removed.”

“I didn't like them, they had stiff attitudes.” Sif said.

“So do Álfheimr’s Elves.” Fandral quipped, and leaned his elbow on Thor's shoulder with a grin. “That Midgardian Elf king only kicked us out because _somebody_ here wouldn't pound him with his mighty Mjölnir—”

Volstagg laughed. “The Bitch King! I remember him. He thought I was a dwarf.” 

“He was ludicrous.” Thor grumbled, his cheeks red.

“I thought he was a woman,” Sif said seriously.

“And he thought you were a man!” Fandral laughed. “Again, Elves all look alike.” He shrugged, then scoffed with a dark undertone, and patted Thor’s arm. “You shouldn't worry about tonight, Thor. Nuada probably bored Loki to sleep, and with the regular Jotun cock walking around I'm sure Loki can take a good romp without being hurt. Nuada made no impression if Loki was so fine this morning. Honestly, I’d say Loki would _like_ a firm hand. So just do what you normally do. Maidens have no problem, he shouldn’t either.”

“It can’t be that simple,” Sif argued on Thor’s part, but looked around for back up. The males shrugged, looking at one another uselessly.

Thor didn’t find their words anymore helpful than his mother’s.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The evening came too soon, Loki wasn’t ready. He spent the rest of the day hiding and trying to calm himself, but trying only made him agitated and angry. Angry with his father, with his body, with Nuada, with Thor, with his father, with Thor’s grumpy wench, with his father, with his body. Just everything…it was easy to be angry.

After Nuada's miraculous achievements, Loki found he feared anything else. Thor was rumoured to be an excellent lover, but to women, and to women of his kind. Not Jotuns which he saw as an enemy. While he refused to outwardly admit it, it did not settle well in his stomach that he would have to see disgust in Thor's eyes as they mated. He would have to see that for the rest of his life if the potion failed him and Thor produced a result inside him. The Norns couldn't be so cruel, could they? His father maybe... The potion **had** to work.

Like the evening before, a Jotun elder watched the preparation process. A handful of Asgardian females worked around him, less jovial than the elven females. They didn’t hurt him out of spite or cringe from his touch, but they didn’t try to comfort him at all. Their auras were all tense and guarded, stern, they were just carrying out a duty. They brushed his hair back, curling it into a rope and slinging it across his left shoulder after massaging the oils into his skin. Any grime from the day had been wiped away, leaving him fresh and ready to be sullied by their prince. 

Maybe they were anticipating Thor dirtying and harming him, so much so that it would be useless to ever try to clean him again. They didn’t look like they were keen on doing it again though. Thankfully the ritual was only for his first night with each man, after that he could turn up covered in blood and guts.

The females didn’t stall and as soon as they were done they gave him back to Laufey who was waiting outside with a couple of his brothers. Loki avoided all their faces, cringing slightly when his father grasped his shoulder and led him away. The hallways to their rooms were significantly less populated, for which Loki was grateful. It would have been enough to give him some peace, were it not for all the guards openly turning their heads to watch him off.

“I believe you behaved yourself very well last night, Nuada was pleased. I trust I don’t need to advise you to do the same tonight.”

Loki’s face seared with a blush. He shrugged out of his father’s grip in an angry huff and stepped a foot away, but kept walking. 

Laufey sighed, “Loki.”

Loki ignored it.

Just as they reached the last turn Laufey grabbed Loki’s arm, and caught the other that aimed for his face. “You _must_ calm yourself.” Laufey stressed as Loki whined and pulled in his grip, trying to strike his father and escape at the same time. Laufey shook him. “Loki! Stop acting like a little child! You are grown and you will act like it! I’ve babied you for too long!”

“Just let me go!” Loki whined, twisting out of his grip. Laufey released him at an angle purposely to make Loki trip over his feet. Luckily there was no one there to witness it, and Loki fumbled against the wall to straighten himself. 

“This is not the time to fight with me. If you go in there angry it will do nothing to spite me, it’s only going to cause you pain. So save us both the pain and calm down.”

Laufey had a point. If he went in and gave Thor the same attitude he would most likely cause himself a world of hurt, it was not going to affect his father in the least. As if he cared…

“Please Loki…” Laufey cupped Loki’s chin and frowned at him, his brows furring further at the tears that had welled up.

Loki pushed him away, and hurried to his room for some privacy. He blinked away the tears fiercely. He didn’t look back and barged straight into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

He had not expected Thor to be there.

It felt as if all the water in his body froze into ice, forcing him to halt in mid step. They stared at each other in an awkward silence, wherein Loki noted Thor was there, large, and naked save for his red robe. 

His room would indeed never be the same again. 

Already fuming, Loki cursed colourfully in his head. Why was Thor here so soon? Or was he late? He hadn’t even been given a moment to think, or _breathe_ , didn’t these people know anything about privacy-!

“I've never lain with a man.” Thor said, bluntly. He fiddled with the opening of his red robe, making the ice in Loki’s bone prickle painfully. “But they say you’re not completely different to….” 

This was going to be difficult. This was…

Loki couldn't bring himself to answer. It was suddenly much more difficult to speak to Thor than to Nuada. He didn’t even try open his mouth, he just stared at the bronze of Thor’s skin, the yellow of his hair, the very alien of his being.

Quickly Thor realised he wouldn't get an answer. Loki would have moved back in the next moment were it not for the ice in his limbs. Thor sighed silently, his heavy shoulders and chest dropping with his gaze, and unfortunately, along with his robe. Loki would have fucked the robe if it had just stayed in place.

 _It_ was huge. There was no honest possibility of _not_ looking, who _wouldn’t_ take an eyeful if Thor Odinson had his cock on display. Loki thought he could handle looking at it after getting the nerve to look at Nuada's last night, but Thor wasn't even hard yet. It was thick and heavy against his thighs, littered with yellow hair at the base. Had Nuada had hair? He couldn't remember, he hadn't been able to think much beyond the sensations given to him. Jotuns didn't have hair, so it was an odd sight for him, and it was _yellow_ hair. Some part of him felt as if he should find it funny, but there was nothing funny here.

Then Thor moved back, making the fear inside him melt a fraction, and gestured a hand to the bed.

Loki looked at the bed. Then he tried to deduce how far from the door he was. Was his father still outside? Even if he wasn’t, there had to be guards there now to make sure no one interrupted Thor’s fucking. He _could_ take the chance, run out, faster than the guards could expect, but then he’d have a naked Thor stampeding after him, as well as all the guards. _That_ sounded like it was supposed to be funny too, but unlike his giggle in bed last night, there was not a tittle wandering in him tonight. The thought of being dragged back to the room did not sound appealing, and no doubt Thor would be pissed.

No, he shouldn’t fight, he would win in the end. Let Thor have this now, there was no shame in making it a little less painful for himself, was there? No, no there wasn’t…

Chanting it to himself, Loki swallowed his bile and headed over to his bed, his legs wooden. He worked his own robe off and kept his eyes clear away from Thor, he did not want to see those small eyes slit in disgust. When the robe met his feet he gave it a sad parting glance and climbed on the bed, flushing as those blue eyes burned into his backside.

Like everything else Thor didn’t bother taking his time and followed quickly after, making him shudder and feel sick.

Loki sat awkwardly as Thor kneeled besides him, and tried not to greet his crotch that was still showing no signs of interest. He gave a weak hope that Thor wouldn’t be able to get it up. That wouldn’t be _his_ fault—but then his father might tell him to _make_ Thor get it up, and there was no chance in hell he was doing _anything_ responsive other than opening his legs. 

“What position is comfortable for you?” Thor asked breaking through his thoughts, and Loki was forced to peek up at him with the least sassy look he could maintain. 

“…I haven’t done it enough to judge?” he stated cockily, sounding it like a question. What did it matter anyway? The only aim was to make a baby, nothing special needed, unless Thor had a secret fetish for Jotuns.

Thor blinked sheepishly. “Yes, of course, my apologies.” He then looked at Loki's chest, and seemed to be debating something. Loki sat quietly, awaiting the inevitable, and tried not to scramble off the bed from Thor’s mere gaze. 

“…Get on your knees.” Thor said eventually, and Loki had to breathe deeply before he could get his limbs to comply. It was a common position in Jotun mating of course, it provided easy access, but it was usually only for practised partners who had a strong bond and could mix love with the position that brought primal reactions—it was not for first time mating.

It was a degrading request for a Jotun, but obviously Thor didn't know that. What _did_ he know?

Loki reluctantly turned over onto his knees, but he had trouble leaning forward on his hands. He felt horribly exposed and vulnerable, Thor could kill him so easily. The thought made his chest tight; didn't his father care? Thor could get angry and hurt him and it wouldn't be taboo because he was _Thor_ , rival to Jötunheimr. Thor hadn't been present in a war against Jötunheimr as the wars had ended just before his and Loki's births, but it could only have made his desire to experience one all the greater.

And now that blood-lusting desire was climbing between his legs and lifting his hips so he had no choice but to lean forward. Then there was a wide palm on his back and it pushed down. The strength behind it made him shiver, and he grabbed a pillow and bunched it beneath his chest and rested down on it, feeling Thor's hand press him down until satisfied. Thor shuffled behind him and drew his knees closer together, sinking his back in towards the bed. His arse was hitched high and his legs spread just enough, meaning his cheeks were too.

The position was completely degrading and humiliating and Thor hadn't bothered to ask if it worked for him. He could have just _asked_ even if he was more experienced than Loki. Would that hurt? What was wrong with the usual position? It was practically expected that he would be on his back. Just because Thor fucked his Asgardian whores this way didn't mean-

Ah…but that's what he was...that was what Thor probably saw him as. A whore. A disgusting Jotun whore. Maybe he _did_ know the norm surrounding this mating position and purposely requested it just to humiliate him. And sadly, it was working.

Loki wished he could swing back and stab him in the fucking neck.

Thor placed his big hands on Loki's cheeks and looked down at him critically. Loki clutched tightly at the pillow as he fumed, and kept his face pressed into the furs so not to make a sound, breathing through his nose and trying to adopt the likeliness of a soulless doll. 

Loki was not near as curvaceous as Thor was used to in his women. Loki had the form of a man, rounded enough where it mattered below his waist, but it wasn't what Thor was used to, and of course Loki's chest was flat. No amount of Odin's words could paint this any brighter. Loki was a man, a _Jotun_ man. But on the bright side, Loki was small and petite unlike normal Jotuns, and his face was nice to look at if you bothered to notice. Having Loki in this position made it easier for him, simple aims and not urges to explore. Thor _supposed_ he could do this, at least his role in sex hadn't changed, or he would have drawn the line. Probably with Mjölnir.

Thor sighed, not sadly, but in preparation. He leaned back to squint at his target, which again was different to what he was used to. But now only because of Loki's skin, he'd taken women every way possible in his years. Loki’s skin was cold, not unbearably so, but like one who had sat outside for an hour in a cold draft. It made him feel silky though, it was pleasant.

Little thought was shared to the person flaming in embarrassment beneath him.

Holding his fingers up Thor spat on them a few times before bringing them back down and pushing them against Loki's fluttering hole. Loki jumped at the blunt contact and Thor slapped a hand down on his lower back to keep him still as if he expected a fight. Loki held still to spite him, his limbs starting to shake.

The last thing Thor needed was to have Loki try cause a struggle and escape. Nuada had been here already, Loki had little reason to resist. He didn’t _want_ to wrestle his way into this, no matter Fandral’s flip flopping advice.

Without waiting for Loki to get second thoughts Thor pressed in a finger and moved it around, pointedly holding Loki's hips in place. Loki was warm inside, despite what Fandral mused, and Thor pressed deeper curiously. The finger was as wide as two of Nuada's and Loki held his breath in dread of taking another. His muscles held snugly to Thor, presenting to him a dull ache that still remained from last night. 

Within moments Thor pulled out the finger and pushed two back in, and Loki felt the stretch. His back tightened and he clenched his thighs, but there was no slack to move from under Thor's hand. He noted unpleasantly that he was not even wet as Thor fingered him, the walls of his channel pulled back and forth in an uncomfortable dry manner. He'd been completely slick under Nuada's administrations, and now he could actually feel the difference. This night was going to live up to everyone’s expectations, he could feel it. _Literally_.

Unlike Nuada who had stopped and verbally calmed him when his tension rose, Thor just held him down a little tighter and continued to open him up, but Loki supposed it was the best he'd get. _At least_ he was being opened, Thor could have taken him dry if he wanted. His cock was flaccid and he wasn't tingling all over, but slowly inside he was responding to the fingers sliding into his heat and he did grow wet, to which Thor paused to inspect like the idiot he was. Thor knew nothing of Jotun mating, and it was humiliating.

Thor withdrew his fingers and rubbed them together, testing the slide of the natural lubrication from Loki’s body. It was incredibly surprising, but at the same time welcomed. He resisted smelling it, and decided he’d given enough attentions to prepare Loki. No one could say he didn’t _try_.

Now that he was wet on his own, Loki assumed Thor deemed him ready. He sensed as Thor took hold of himself, and tried not to tighten his anal muscles or all of the stretching would be wasted. Not that it was much to begin with, but it was more than expected, he could admit. Maybe Thrym spoke to him. Frigga said she had, but he doubted they discussed _this_.

The bed rocked slightly as Thor began to stroke himself to hardness, his hand still planted on Loki’s back. Loki bit his lip as he waited, and wondered who Thor was thinking about to get him excited. Probably some pretty female in Asgard, one of his wanton whores, maybe the female he brought with? Maybe all of them, every encounter he ever had, he probably needed a whole lot of help to get the blood hot right now.

Suddenly, Loki wished it were Nuada here instead, scratching down his back and sending his body into sexual ecstasy. He wanted that again, that was good…Now he would be taken with minimal thought or care, the way he initially expected…

When he was hard enough, which was an all time low for himself, Thor spat on his cock out of habit. He spread the moisture around before lining up with Loki’s entrance. He brought his extended hand back and rubbed it against Loki's hip in a manner that was meant to be soothing, while guiding the fat head of his cock with his other hand. 

The weight on the bed shifted towards him, followed by a large presence at his hole, and Loki held his breath despite knowing he would fare better breathing.

The entry wasn't as difficult as Thor was used to, nor as Loki wanted it to be. He popped in quickly, hearing a gasp from Loki, and in his wonder to the difference in welcome allowed himself to sink in as far as Loki could take him. Fandral had painted some pretty pictures for him despite it being odd, and now with the tightness wrapped around his cock those pictures looked a little brighter. With women there was a lot of stopping and starting and resistance when it came to his kind sex, but he sunk into Loki as easy as he would into an aroused woman's vagina. It was surprisingly pleasant, and he moaned before he could control himself, it was just too good for his expectations.

Beneath Thor, Loki cried out. Though his body took it, it still hurt and he arched his back out in shock. He lifted his head and jerked forward desperately to escape, but Thor caught him and tugged his body back, successfully ploughing in a couple more inches. A silent cry stole his breath and Loki clawed at the bedding, breathing harshly. Thor was definitely bigger than Nuada, without a doubt, but it was only fitting. Thor was a large man, how could he not have a large cock as well? 

When sunk to the hilt, and sure that Loki was not escaping, Thor let out an awed groan, and stared down in wonder at the point of connection. It felt better than he had thought it would, and he made a mental note to tell Fandral he was right—Loki was indeed built to easily take big cock. Loki was tight and warm around him, but he could feel that the capacity to stretch much further was there. And with a frost giant's cock, he should hope so. 

“You feel good,” Thor said as he squeezed Loki's hips, his voice thick.

' _Not my intention_.' Loki thought back sourly. He was thoroughly filled to the brim with cock and he almost laughed maniacally at the thought of having to take normal Jotun cock—how far could he open? He'd never been perversely curious enough to find out from anyone.

He felt Thor shift behind him, making the cock in him move uncomfortably. Then those large Mjolnir wielding palms clamped around his waist and the thrusting began.

Loki’s head dropped and he turned into water, and melted into the bedding. 

Instinctual responses meant his buttocks rose for welcome and his legs spread further, back arching in to give Thor more room. He was _just_ stretched enough that it didn’t burn intensely, but he was gritting his teeth and seething into the pillows, clawing at the furs. His responsive display was too clear to miss, and Thor squeezed his fingers into Loki’s sides. It made him jump, and Loki whined to himself for his body's betrayal, which Thor took as a needy moan, and he cried out again as Thor started to really saw into him with the sole intention of climaxing and planting his seed.

There were no pets, no whispers, no little attentions that made his heart skip a beat. It was nothing like Nuada’s mating, this was—was _fucking_. Honest and true fucking. Only the strong thrust of Thor’s pelvis into his backside and a bruising grip on his waist, nothing more.

Thor was fucking him the way savages fucked.

Anger fizzled in Loki's chest and he unintentionally clenched down as his heart sank, but this wasn't Nuada who slowed down or adjusted his angle, Thor ploughed through his tension and Loki tore. He screamed and tried to move away, but Thor held him down between his shoulder blades and continued thrusting into him, spurred on by the added wetness now seeping out of him. 

Loki clawed viciously at the bedding and cursed himself for not knocking Thor out the competition, cursed the Jotun warriors for failing, cursed his father for accepting, and cursed Nuada for making his expectations high. He swallowed thickly and willed his stomach not to chuck out anything and soil his bed. He couldn’t even reach the side of the bed, Thor was relentless. His rectum stung and each thrust brought a spark of red pain from his damaged inners. He wanted to strike Thor back but just lifting himself hurt, he couldn’t move other than to breathe.

Blue blood coated Thor's cock but the brute was too unobservant to see, and leaned over Loki as he fucked him in sharp jabs, resting his other hand on the bed. He started breathing heavily and his fingers found Loki’s neck, making Loki tense and sob all over again. Tears prickled in Loki’s eyes and he struggled to breathe as Thor weighed down on him, holding the back of his throat and giving him unwanted sexual pleasures. Each time Thor’s cock drove into his body it forced out his lungful of air, but now his breathing was constricted and he struggled to exhale as well, fumbling weakly. He was wet with Thor’s sweat and his own drool, matted down into the bedding as Thor pressed him into it.

The sound of Thor's balls slapping his own and the collision of their thighs quickly became louder and louder, but it didn't bring an erotic twitch to Loki. It stung at his ears instead, as it did his anal canal and he grit his teeth to keep his own sounds low. He didn't want to reward Thor for this, and tried to calm his clenching inners enough so that it would hurt less. He wished the blood would make it easier, but nothing would feel easier now that he was injured. 

But to the grace of the Norns, Thor didn't last longer than Loki dreaded and spilt his seed deep inside of him with a loud satisfied moan. His hips bucked in small jerks as he filled Loki, leaning over so his blond hair tickled Loki's shoulders, planting a hot pool in his gut that was eerily noticeable. Loki panted harshly but lay dead still, and waited a good minute until Thor pulled out of him. The bear groaned and rolled over to lie on his back to Loki’s right, stealing the side Loki preferred, and leaving Loki stuck in position. 

The air was thick as they panted for breath, their hearts racing. Loki was trembling all over, he noticed when his breathing calmed enough, and then realised he would get no help out of the position Thor stuck him in. His limbs were stiff and sore and it took an insane amount of effort to push his knees out and turn on his side so he could lie down decently. Pitiful whimpers escaped him in the process, and he ignored Thor when he looked over, as if curious. 

Too tired to be angry, Loki collapsed on his side with a whine and felt his body flush hot as Thor’s seed finally seeped out of him. Unfortunately his knees were pulled up towards his chest so if Thor saw it leaking out he said nothing. He pulled his limbs in to comfort himself and mashed his face into the furs, trying to pretend the man besides him wasn’t there.

_Yes, Thor had finished, got up and left. Yes, he was alone. He was just imagining that Thor was here. But he wasn’t, he wasn’t, he was gone now. Loki was alone in his bed. Thor wouldn’t want to stay away. He was gone, he was gone…_

Inch by excruciating inch Loki relaxed, arms wrapped around himself, turned into the bedding. 

Thor had never been big on words, he knew they were not his strong point, and for once decided against trying. Loki was whispering to himself, fingers digging into his sides as he tried to burrow into the bedding. He wasn’t _crying_ , at least, and Thor was glad for that. He may enjoy a bloody battle with a Jotun, but he had no secret enjoyment in raping one. He wouldn’t lie, the sex had given him one of the most satisfying orgasms he’s ever had, but it didn’t make him want to be with Loki any more than he was expected to be.

Once he was spent he didn’t _want_ to touch Loki, or _hold_ him, like his mother so subtly suggested. Loki had tried to squirm his way out more than once, and Thor had no desire to convince him to stay other than to complete their duty. But how would they be if they had to marry? Would each night be like this? Would each night have him holding Loki down? Or would he indeed visit the brothels, perhaps allow Loki to take his own lover if it worked for them. He would not beg a Jotun for sex, even if for a child, Loki would either have to learn to submit or get used to tasting the furs. 

Thor sighed softly, and spared the back of Loki’s head a sad glance. The thought was cruel, it didn’t sound as right as he wanted it to. He couldn’t help thinking back to that little blue boy who helped him steal apples off Idunn’s trees. They had laughed and played that day, he could remember if even if Loki didn’t… Now he was staring at Loki’s back, and the drying cum collecting on his skin as it oozed out from their consummation.

Thor thought a weak apology, and turned the other way to try get some sleep.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a few comments on this chapter but I think I talk too much *slips out of existence*


	10. Nuada Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nuada tries to create a bond with rickety pieces. Loki denies what might serve him best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>    
> After reading the comments from last chapter I realised the perfect solution for Thor. We can drop him in SatansSins’ fic Kaneez. Kaneez!Laufey is a little lonely now XD
> 
> And lots of kudos to RockGaara for figuring out it was Thranduil.
> 
> Please forgive spelling errors.

**Chapter 10: Nuada Day 2**

If there was anything Loki could have asked for that next morning, it was simply for more sleep. The minute the healers nudged him from his slumber he knew he didn’t want to get up. He _knew_ he would face the devastations of last night, and it made him tired all over again.

“...no, the other side...” Someone's voice made it through his blurred senses. _Berhuir_ , he recognised. He slowly felt the increase of movement around him, the air becoming cooler and cooler with each layer of fur pulled off him.

He lay limply, hoping he'll fall asleep and they'll let him, until he felt a sharp pain pull at the skin of his balls. He yowled and jerked away, igniting an entire collage of pain around his body in searing flares. He choked for a moment at the overwhelming bombardment, then sobbed as the aches from last night danced beneath his skin.

He heard Berhuir and whoever was with him yell but it was only noise. A heavy hand pressed him down and all movement stopped. He joined it gladly, panting through his teeth. He was on his back, trying to keep his bottom half away from prying fingers, but at the same time putting horrible pressure on his entrance. Thor was nowhere to be seen and Loki was extremely grateful for that, he could still _smell_ him, and that was enough. 

“Loki? Loki, are you awake? Can you open your eyes?” 

Loki whimpered, he didn't want to, there were tears waiting to spill. He shook his head and fumbled to remove Berhuir’s hand, but it didn't budge. He felt a hand press his hair back and the hand lifted from his chest, only to grab his thigh and lift it.

“N-no—”Loki choked, blinking his eyes open as he tried to keep his legs closed. 

His entrance was burning, his back was aching, and his thighs felt like they were void of bone. He remembered the moment he woke what had happened last night, he wished he had had the strength to clean himself up before falling asleep, but it was wishful thinking. He remembered how stiff and sore he felt, and if anything it felt twice as worse now. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, he had always been so well kept and neat.

But Berhuir wasn't having it and had a helper hold Loki's arms out of the way as he lifted apart his legs, finding the crumbling mess.

Loki shut his eyes tiredly, but opened them a second later at the disgruntled sounds that sparked from the three healers.

“Wh-what?” he asked, not expecting an answer. He felt another pull at his sack and whined.

“Cloth,” Berhuir said, and the spare healer handed him a cloth. The one holding Loki took the role of petting his hair, making his eyes threaten to close again.

“Be still, prince.” Berhuir said, and started to wipe at his skin. He started at the furs that were sticking to Loki's sack, and carefully loosened the dried strands until he could pull it free. The healers looked at one another, holding their tongues at the sight of blood and release caked over Loki's skin. Berhuir kept wiping, being gentle when Loki winced, then eventually came to a stop when Loki tried to squirm away.

“This has to be done,” Berhuir said, his face hard as he tugged Loki back in place and lifted his thigh a little more to reveal his swollen entrance. Loki whined and clenched instinctively, making himself whimper.

“Still, be still.” Berhuir murmured, and continued on with Loki's abused hole. 

The pain was a little too much to bear when feeling so vulnerable and Loki struggled more violently, forcing the other too healers to hold him in place. He was far weaker than them and he was left to pant angrily and clench his fists as Berhuir pressed and wiped, making it more sore.

“Y-you're hurting me!” he cried, his face burning with shame and humiliation when he finally caught sight of the cloth stained with his blood. 

“I am fixing you.” Berhuir said. He almost sounded angry, enough so that Loki stopped fidgeting and stared at him, wondering what he had done wrong. He had been good last night hadn't he? He let Thor have him, the evidence was clear. 

Berhuir stopped for a moment to fiddle with something, and when he returned his fingers were glistening with salve. Loki's body clenched and he slapped his knees shut at the thought of taking anything inside him.

Berhuir ignored him, forced his knees apart and found his entrance easy enough. Loki choked as a finger pressed in, and the tears finally fell, starting his pent up sobs. The healers holding him started to croon and pet him in an effort to distract him, but seemed to be weary of how fragile he was after his night. 

There wasn't much resistance and the first finger popped in easily. His ring was lose and still held wetness inside, which seeped out as Berhuir's finger slid deeper. Berhuir’s lip curled and Loki shrank into the bedding, his body going limp. But not even two seconds later he tightened around the finger in response to a sharp pain in his gut.

“Easy,” Berhuir said, his face softening. He spread the salve around inside gently, his own toes curling as Loki sobbed with renewed struggles. Berhuir replaced the one finger with the other before Loki could even notice, adding more salve, then finally focused his magic. He placed his other hand on Loki's belly, and with a tight-lipped expression slipped back in the other finger.

Loki screeched, but immediately felt the presence of magic, and a moment later it numbed him.

“There, there, easy,” Berhuir crooned, working his magic into Loki to heal the split skin. It healed extremely quickly thanks to the direct contact with the wound, and he let the magic spread around should anymore damage have been dealt. 

Loki panted, eyes wide, throbbing around Berhuir's wide fingers. He couldn't believe he was holding them without splitting, especially after actually being torn. The pain had subsided and he became more aware of a throbbing rather than a searing pain, and he moaned when Berhuir's fingers pulled out.

The closest healer immediately handed him a cloth and Berhuir gave him a last wipe from whatever seeped out, then wiped his hands. The healers released Loki and in return he melted into the bed. He had the urge to ask _is it over_ , but Berhuir had never left them injured before.

“You had a small tear,” Berhuir said, his voice blank, “To be expected, Thor is of questionable size and strength. You're healed now. You'll feel some aching but the salve will dull it during the duration of the day. You should be fine by tonight, you body will prepare in routine.”

Tonight? No, he couldn't go through his again. Not so soon? He could still feel Thor's hand pressing between his shoulder blades, and his cock ramming into his body. He couldn't go through that again, he was _sore_! 

“The servants will come and help you get dressed.”

Loki looked up, eyes wet. “Where's Thrym?” his voice sounded so pathetic, quivering and breaking.

“Thrym was called away, Utgard lost its commanding guard General, Thrym had to choose a new one.”

Thrym wasn't here? Loki never realised how much he needed his presence till now. 

“I'll dress myself.” he said firmly, and fought his way to the side of the bed. Berhuir helped him, ignoring his fighting, and helped him sit. “I-I mean it, I'll be fine.”

“Very well,” Berhuir didn't press the subject, and collected whatever they came in with. “I won't come anymore as you know how to clean yourself, but should you need me send someone to call me and I'll come.” Berhuir placed a spare cloth and bowl of water down for Loki to fresh up further.

Loki sat hunched, and stared at his knees until they left and the door shut. As soon as he was alone he let out a hard sob, and stuck his fist in his mouth.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

It was never a pleasure for Berhuir to see the royal family harmed in anyway, but seeing little Loki sticking to his bedding because of matted blood and seed was far from welcomed, even if to fix it. So when Laufey flinched he felt some satisfaction.

“But it was healed?” Laufey pressed, searching Berhuir’s face.

“Yes, your highness.”

Laufey frowned, shifting his weight. “Will he be able to mate today?”

Berhuir sighed. “Yes. I wouldn't encourage it, but yes.”

“Did he say anything?”

“No, he only wanted to be alone. He denied the presence of servants to dress him.”

“Very well, thank you, Berhuir.” Laufey patted him on the shoulder, and dismissed him. When alone he growled. He didn’t want Loki to be hurt, but he also knew how insulting and difficult Loki could be. He probably took his anger into the room, silly boy…Thor’s own temper must have clashed with his. If his dam was still alive he could have taught Loki how to use submission as power, Loki would have been saved so much trouble.

There was no doubt Loki would throw something at him should he show his face, so he headed in another direction first.

Today was the day Odin and Balor left, along with their entourage. Their sons would remain though, but at least his people could relax without the heavy intrusion. It would take time to form a stable merger, having Elves and Asgardians popping up around corners made many of the Jotuns nervous.

Laufey headed straight for the large chambers that Odin and Frigga occupied, and after the guard at their door prepared them, he entered.

Odin was in a seat, Frigga was standing by the window. At his appearance she shied closer to her husband, and stood by his side, looking equally curious and concerned. Odin raised the brow of his good eye. “Good morn, Laufey. Kicking us out so early?”

Laufey smirked inwardly at the satisfaction the words themselves gave him, but looked down his nose at the pair. “I've come to let you know the healers just finished tending to Loki.”

Odin remained impassive, it was Frigga that gave further attention. “Oh? Is there something to share?”

“Yes,” Laufey gave her an intimate gaze. Odin may not care so the direct jab would do nothing, even Thor would probably shrug it off, but females were sentimental over the welfare of the young, and her sentiment would be enough to bother Odin directly. “Loki bled quite a bit and magical intervention was needed for his healing.”

“Quite a bit?” she repeated, shifting. Laufey nodded grimly, his own fingers curling at the words.

“I would appreciate if you spoke to Thor before you leave today. I haven't yet seen Loki, but whatever he did to warrant such a result I'll speak to him about. Please do the same with your boy.”

“We-we will.” Frigga said, and bowed when Laufey departed. As soon as the door closed Frigga let out a loud sound and dug her fingers into her temple.

Odin watched her pace, sighing. “Are you going to peck at Thor for this?”

“He bled, Odin,” Frigga said, her voice a whisper. It got no rise out of Odin, but then Odin had never been in the position where he was held down and violated. She had enough of her own memories of Odin's youthful weight holding her down, making her bleed. He may not have been cruel, comforting her through it all until she was brave enough to respond, but she understood the fear of the experience.

“Bleeding is normal, Frigga.” Odin grunted. “And he is Jotun, he's not a doll.”

“He is not a grass-chewing cow either. I did speak to him but of course he wouldn't listen, Loki is young. They're _both_ too young to be handling themselves _and_ one another in such a match. Oh, I asked Thor to be gentle!”

“Frigga, calm yourself. The boy is healed, he is fine.”

“That's not the-...” Frigga shut her mouth, and turned away to the door. Men didn’t understand.

“Frigga, I wouldn’t—”

The door shut before he could finish his thought.

Thor’s chamber was right besides theirs, and she barged in without knocking, slamming it shut loudly. Thor was startled, half naked and flailed when he turned around and saw her.

“Mother!” He scrambled to properly set his pants, turning back away to do so. “I'm indecent!”

“Yes, yes you are.” Frigga slapped him upside the head, then punched his chest when he turned to stop her attack. “What is wrong with you!”

“Mother-! Just-! Wait-!” Thor half-heartedly blocked her smacks, not that they did anything to begin with. It was her expression that hurt more.

“I _asked_ you, Thor, I asked you nicely—”

“I didn't hurt him!” Thor cried, her tone making clear what she was speaking of, “Not purposely anyway! He tried to get away a couple of times and I stopped him but that's it! I didn't hit him or—”

“Oh, you _men_!” Frigga gave his chest one last pound with her frail hand and turned away in a huff. “Did he ask you to stop? Was he—”

“No, he didn't _say_ anything,” Thor grumbled, and folded his arms. Frigga turned to glare at him, and he shrunk. “Mother, I didn't...”

“He had to be healed with magic, Thor.” she frowned, folding her own arms. “You could have—”

“Mother, please,” Thor unfolded his arms and reached out for her, catching her after the second try. “If I hurt him it wasn't on purpose. I swear.”

Frigga's tension didn't drop, but she hadn't seen what had happened, and Thor wasn't one for lies, so she couldn't keep accusing him. Bleeding was indeed normal when starting off, but if Loki hadn't bled with Nuada Frigga had hope the same could happen with Thor. But it hadn't, and now there would be talk about many possible scenarios of what happened, and none of them would be nice for Loki to catch wind of. No doubt the men would say Loki put up a fight and Thor overpowered him, or that Nuada was inadequate whereas Thor was simply endowed. _She_ certainly didn't want to hear such talk, and she knew Loki wouldn’t either.

“Did he fight you? Did he provoke your handling?” she asked.

“He...” Thor sighed, looking away. He had awaked early that morning after a difficult sleep, and found Loki bundled up in furs, buried. He did see a steady rise and fall of his covered chest, so that was good. If he accidentally smothered Loki during the night he would have been in so much trouble. 

He sneaked out of the bed as quietly as was possible for him, and Loki didn't move an inch. Once he was out of bed he gave it a hard look, recalling the activities of the night before. When he bent to pick up his robe he noticed the blue smears on his cock, knowing well enough what Jotun blood looked like. He knew Loki had bled, he was assured even Jotuns could bleed when new to sex, but he hadn't thought _this_ much. He had thought Nuada hadn't done any damage, he couldn't have done that all by himself. Nuada must have left a problem that he aggravated...

Needless to say he hurried out, unwilling to be there when Loki woke up. He wasn’t good at waking up with lovers anyway, unless they had Fandral's promiscuous attitude that saved him from prying off clingy hands.

Frigga was looking at him expectedly, but he couldn’t explain the sex to her, even if that was what she was waiting for.

Eventually she gave up and turned to the door. “King Laufey requested you be gentler next time, and he'll speak to Loki about whatever he did to provoke you.”

“He didn't...I suppose I used more force than necessary.” he quickly continued when her face twisted. “I haven't yet learnt his strength to know his limits, he kept trying to move away, what was I supposed to do? The realms would laugh at me if he bested me.”

“And that one blight would ruin your entire name? Try think of someone other than yourself, Thor. You’re thinking just like your father.”

Thor’s face twisted this time and he poked his chest. “You think me selfish? Mother, I am only doing this for Asgard. To please Father. It’s what’s expected of me as a king, so I’m doing it. How am I only thinking of myself? If I were we wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have broken my nose a dozen damned times here in Jötunheimr and I wouldn’t have _bedding a Jotun_ to my list!” He paused, panting slightly. He dropped his shoulders, shaking his head. “I am doing the best I can.”

Men didn’t understand. “…Okay.” Frigga sighed, and reached to pat his shoulder to mark the end of the discussion. He embraced her lightly, neither saying anything to the awkwardness. They parted and Frigga left. She walked a quarter of the way to Loki’s chambers, intent on helping him face the day when she realised that Loki might not want to see her... She was the mother of the beast that hurt him last night, he probably didn’t want to see her. What on earth did he think of her? Of the man she raised?

Frigga turned back the opposite way in a rush.

Soon after the healers left Loki made sure to get up. With his under clothes on, Loki hurried to take his potion before he was intruded on. His heart was aching for Thrym, he had the strangest urge for a hug.

He was glad he took his potion when he did, for mere moments later the door opened again and his father stepped in, making his heart ache a little more than he could ignore. 

Laufey shut the door and approached Loki cautiously. “Loki? How do you feel?”

“…Fine.” Loki said after a second. He stood up straight, ignoring the crumpled bedding and the slight shake in his left leg.

Laufey sighed and grabbed Loki firmly, and shockingly, mashed him to his chest. Loki struggled for a moment, but he couldn’t deny the welcome tingle of affection. A few traitorous tears escaped and he hugged his father back after a moment, clinging to him like he did when everything was okay. He sucked in a few stuttering breaths, and blinked against his father’s body. 

“I don’t enjoy seeing you hurt.” Laufey murmured, petting his head, rubbing his back.

“But you let it happen.” Loki whispered. He knew if he spoke his voice would break.

“I’ve told you how to make it easy on yourself.” Laufey grumbled, relaxing his hold when Loki pulled away, sniffling. “ _Did_ you force his hand? The healers told me—”

“I didn’t _ask_ to be hurt,” Loki spat, struggling for words despite his articulate nature, “He just-he didn’t-he didn’t give me a chance to adapt! I couldn’t tell his intentions, I couldn’t see what he was going to do—He wouldn’t give me a moment! What if he wanted to hurt me? You didn’t care about that!”

“He knows his head would be served to his father on a platter should he truly harm you.” Laufey said calmly. He tried to embrace Loki again but Loki smacked his hands away.

“What about when we’re married and he owns me? When he hurts me because he can, what will you do about it then? What _could_ you do about it?”

“He won’t do that,” Laufey grunted, then grabbed Loki and examined him. “Did he hit you?”

“No!” Loki squirmed viciously, wincing at the pains below his waist. “Let go of me!”

Laufey grabbed Loki’s face and looked at it for bruising. “I never said mating won’t hurt. But if he hurts you otherwise—”

“Then what?” Loki spat, finally pulling free, “ _Then_ you’ll care? I pray I’m more of a parent than you are.”

The insult shocked Laufey more than Loki expected. They stared at each other in an odd silence for a few moments. Then someone knocked, and after a hesitated movement Laufey turned, woodenly. “Enter.”

It was Nuala. She stepped in carefully, something bundled in her arms. She bowed to them. “Good morning King Laufey. Prince Loki. I am sorry if I’m intruding?”

“No, we were just finishing,” Laufey said, avoiding Loki’s gaze. “What can we do for you, princess?”

Nuala held up the bundles in her arms. “Well, Queen Frigga suggested I come help Loki dress. She wanted to but…it’s Álfheimr’s day, technically. If that’s okay?”

“Loki?” Laufey turned to him stiffly.

Loki looked between them, but nodded for the lack of a better answer. He was touched Frigga had wanted to come help him, it was a little surprising considering the brutality her husband and son were her famous for. Perhaps Frigga wanted to apologize, she seemed the type. Maybe she had to since they wouldn’t.

Laufey grunted in reply, and in goodbye as he turned and left. Nuala stepped aside, head hung until he passed and slammed the door.

Another odd silence took control of the room, and eventually Nuala tip toed to the soiled bed and placed the clothing down right at the bottom where it was least disturbed. The fabric she carried was light, lacy and thin, royal Álfheimr fabrics

“Here are your clothes.”

“Thank you,” Loki mumbled. He struggled to take them, he was in no mood to put up appearances. He wanted Thrym to hold him, and tell him a retarded joke.

But as if sensing so, Nuala picked up the first item and stepped up to him, presenting the right opening for his head. He stared at her, his face long, and leaned forward as reluctantly as possible. Nuala slipped the fabric over his head, nothing but a gentle smile on her face, and helped his arms into their respective sleeves. When done she patted the clothing down, as if it was speckled with dust. He left her to her musings though, and his thoughts drifted to his day ahead.

It was Nuada’s day today. He immediately cringed at the thought of more sex. His backside was definitely _sore_ now, not a little heartbeat, and he fumed at the knowledge that Thor must have known he caused him to bleed. No doubt he went and boasted about that, he was doomed to humiliation at Thor’s mighty cock. How did his women handle that thing? It was a fucking club on its own! It was like—…what an appropriate weapon he carried.

As he silently fumed, Nuala dressed him up with little problem. She hurried to cover him, he was still a male to her, but quickly she was done and broke him from his musing with a prompt for breakfast. He had little appetite, the potion seemed to have burned it away for the moment, but he nodded again anyway.

Loki and Nuala arrived together, and Loki hurried into his seat before anyone could make a fuss over him. With the throbbing in his backside he would have made a fuss over himself, but no one needed to know more than what was already probably being whispered about. He sat besides his father as usual, and noticed sadly Thrym was still not present. 

Breakfast was a stiff affair for everyone it seemed. 

Odin and Frigga were glaring at one another over their goblets, and Thor was stabbing at his food as if it were alive and refused to die. He was also included in their glaring, but did a better job of acting oblivious than even Thrym could. He did not look Loki’s way, and he was glad for it, he didn’t think he could handle it at the moment.

Balor was engaged in some petty talk with whoever would listen, discussing his plans and aims for some little town in Álfheimr should Jötunheimr merge with them. Loki could tell Laufey couldn’t care less. Nuala sat besides her brother, who was watching Loki too much for his liking. When they met gazes Nuada didn’t smile, but gave a serious nod in greeting. Loki gave a jerky nod back and looked away before his darkening face could give him away. Shrinking in his seat was a horrible idea with the pain in his backside, but he couldn’t take the weight of his eyes.

Food was served and everyone stuffed themselves, passing insignificant pleasantries until Loki wanted to pull his hair out. He barely managed to nibble his food when his father ruined his appetite altogether.

“In five days we’ll have Loki checked by our healers. Hopefully there will be a result.”

The table murmured their agreement. Loki put down his fork and decided to let the potion burn his stomach away. He knew he was hungry, but he was too sick to feel it.

“Till then the quality time each day will do good to strength ties.”

Loki wanted to groan loudly. The fucking was one thing, but having to spend time with these men? Loki would prefer being bent over and becoming one with the bedding. He couldn’t _socialize_ with these men, he didn’t socialize at all! 

“Laufey, I have to insist to our departure, my general and court can only handle things for so long without me.” Odin said, gaining rather happy mumblings from his guard.

Laufey nodded indifferently. “Very well, I do have my own business to attend to as well. I think all our realms could do with our active presence.”

Loki would have been glad to see them all go, but he had to suffer through the formal departure first. Letters of re-attendance were created as the two crown princes said goodbye to their families, inviting the kings to return in five days time to await confirmation of a pregnancy. 

Loki stood awkwardly aside from everything as Thor embraced his friends, smiling as if there was nothing wrong in the world. His smile was bright, his eyes twinkling, his demeanour care free. It was insulting after what he had done. He watched them with a tight lipped scowl, but quickly broke it when Frigga approached him. His heart skipped a beat.

“Morning Loki,” she said softly, and hesitantly reached out for his hand. He gave it over after a moment.

“It was good meeting you, Allmother.” He said, agreeing that it was no _good morning_.

“I hope to see you again.” She said, but her face twisted and she looked down at their hands. “I mean, if it’s for the best.”

Seeing her again would mean going to Asgard, but that wouldn’t happen, not if the potion held strong. He understood her sentiment, but he’d rather never see her again if it meant a life time with Thor and his bed. 

“Indeed. Have a safe trip.” He cut it short and sweet. Frigga smiled at him and rubbed his arm, then returned to her husband’s side to bid her son goodbye as his friends lurked behind him.

A good hearted chuckle caught his attention. The happy tone to it made him angry, how dare people be jovial around him? He spotted King Balor with his children, Nuala in his arm as they hugged Nuada together, saying their own partings. They looked so happy together, as if they never had inner conflict, and his anger morphed into jealousy.

At the last minute Nuala caught his eye, and she waved at him, smiling benevolently. He nodded back, his face as blank as earlier. 

Laufey appeared besides him with a hand on his shoulder, “Let us bid our goodbyes.”

Loki groaned audibly this time, but only his father heard it. Laufey wisely said nothing, and placed a gentle hand around Loki’s arm to steer him. They made it toward the crowd of Aesir and Elves and Laufey smiled one last time. “It was good having you. I’m sorry Thrym couldn’t be here to see you off, he had wanted to but there was an urgent matter to be seen to. I look forward to our next meeting.”

Odin nodded, clanging Gungnir. “As do we.”

With that they all bowed to one another. Loki struggled to do so without wincing, and cursed them all colourfully in his head.

“Stay well, Laufey. Until our next visit.” Balor said. The last of their temporary belongings had been packed by the servants and arrived ready to go, and Laufey sent them off with a large entourage of his finest guards towards the Bifrost. Laufey waved them off, his thumb rubbing around Loki’s shoulder.

“I’ll be joining Thrym now. I’m sure you can handle yourself?”

“Yes.” Loki mumbled. A few feet away Thor decided to take his leave, giving none of them a parting glance as he disappeared down a hallway. Laufey squeezed him. 

“Fear not Thor’s presence, all the guard are aware he isn’t allowed near you today, and they will be on alert for any foul play.”

It wasn’t during public appearances that Loki needed guards. He nodded to please Laufey, and relaxed minutely as he departed. But he tensed twice as much the very next moment when Nuada took the chance to approach. Loki held his breath as Nuada bowed, then held out his hand.

“Prince Loki, would you mind giving me a small tour of the palace?”

“…Of course not.” Loki tried not to grimace, and slowly gave over his hand. Nuada took his hand and pulled him close to link their arms. Loki cleared his throat, and tried not to lose his nerve. “Where would you like to see?”

“Anywhere nearby. You need not exert yourself.” Nuada said.

Loki grit his teeth behind his lips at the mention. Yes, everyone knew. No doubt it spread like a blizzard, reaching everyone’s greedy ears. Was Nuada jealous now? That he hadn’t caused such attention? Maybe he’d try Thor’s tactic tonight, why shouldn’t he? This was a competition after all. Loki inhaled through his nose to keep calm, and led Nuada to the first place his legs took him. The library.

It was the public library, but a library all the same. It felt odd to be walking about with company, but the books might help give him strength. 

“I thought you might find this interesting, father says you can read our runes.” Loki said when they arrived, looking up at the array of literature. They were lucky to have tomes and scrolls from far away lands thanks to one of his passed uncles, he had been quite the explorer whereas Jotuns rarely left their realm for sport.

Nuada followed his gaze. “Indeed I can. I hear you are learned yourself. You enjoy the library?” he asked, but it was clear that Loki was stiff and standing unnaturally. He pulled back his arm, and smiled when Loki looked questioningly at the release. But Loki wasn't about to argue though, and folded his arms.

“Yes, I like to learn. We have an extensive range of books and scrolls, I like to spend my days reading them.” He wanted to make that known should he eventually _have_ to wed the man. If he was forced away from home he needed _some_ kind of distraction to keep him sane—reading would do well. At least…if he _did_ have to marry, if everything failed, then perhaps his dream of reading forever could still be possible. Read by day, endure a mate at night, then wake up and read more. …Until he had wailing babies to see to. Loki sighed.

“Knowledge is a good ally, dear heart.” Nuada said, and nodded his approval. He looked happy about that, Loki thought but the careful way he was going about was easy to notice. What was his opinion on last night? Was he perhaps taking pity on him? Poor little Loki ravished by Thor’s Aesir cock, now too fragile to be moving about. Maybe Loki should have taken him to the training grounds instead… 

Loki shrugged uneasily. “It’s only sensible to court knowledge, otherwise what are you? I like to know things, it is power.”

Nuada pulled an expression that said he was impressed, and he walked around idly, glancing at the books. “Are all Laufey’s sons as smart as you?”

Loki smiled before he could help himself, and blushed when Nuada looked back at him with a cheeky smile. “No, actually. They excel in other ways. My speciality is limited to about five of us.”

“Well then, you are extra special.” Nuada said, drifting back.

Loki looked away, rejecting the compliment. He knew he shouldn't have done that, it was rude, but it was difficult to just _converse_. But the point of this was to get to know these men should he have to marry either... But Loki didn't want to. It was pointless, to him, because there would be no baby. There would be no marriage. _If_ he was lucky...

Nuada closed the distance, glancing over Loki’s shoulder. When he spoke his voice was low. “Have the healers provided a salve?” 

Loki stiffened, his gaze locked into a thread on his clothing. He kept his face away as it darkened. How dare he bring that up? What did it matter to him? He was just going to rip him apart further tonight. His special stupid fancy mating would probably hurt tonight, good things never lasted. 

Loki couldn't see the sad frown etched over the Elf prince's face, nor his hesitance on what to say. But eventually Nuada backed off and quickly changed the topic. “Which book is your favourite? Do you have stories?”

“Yes,” Loki mumbled after a moment, and continued to try answer all the questions Nuada asked him. And in return, Nuada answered his unasked questions.

As it turned out, Nuada was a scholar as much as he was a warrior, a little like Loki. He knew of things from the far reaches of the realms and was well versed in Jotun history. He didn't seem to care very much for Asgard, and the very first weapon he ever wielded were silver daggers. He travelled often but this was his first time on Jötunheimr. Nuada liked to read about culture and history rather than stories, but as a future king it was expected, and by the time lunch time came Loki was significantly more comfortable now that Nuada turned out to have a conscious that had likes and dislikes, and not a cold prince set on fucking him to anxiety and then death.

They sat together for lunch on a balcony reserved only for the royal family, and Loki found his appetite had returned somewhat. The servants gladly brought them foods and drinks and Loki managed to eat a fair share if only to ward off the shaking beginning in his hands. They sat in silence for a while, overlooking a vast reach towards the mountains. Nuada found Loki staring off with distant eyes.

“…Have you ever been out of Jötunheimr?” Nuada asked, sipping a warm drink.

“No…Father says I'm too young and daring to venture.” Loki said. ' _And too valuable to lose_ ,' he thought grumpily.

“Perhaps he is right, but you are of age, you should be allowed to see the realms. If you feel up to it one of the days, I’d love to take you to Álfheimr for a day, show you our home. It's beautiful there and a change of scenery might do you good.”

Loki’s chest tightened in both excitement and panic. Going to Álfheimr? That wasn't as far away as Asgard, and it would be his first trip off world. He'd tried countless times to go travelling but not many Jotuns liked to travel out of Jötunheimr, and those that did Laufey didn't deem trustworthy with Loki's safety.

But maybe he'd let him go now? After all Nuada had beaten everyone and was clearly able to keep him safe. From everyone but himself and Thor of course... But the prospect of visiting another realm was too exciting to pass off, and he smiled a little despite the heavy weight on his shoulders. “Maybe.” he said, thinking on his father. “Thank you for the offer, Prince Nuada.”

Nuada smiled sadly. “You are young, you should explore.”

Loki looked at him with a light frown. He'd love to explore the realms, but that was a small possibility; his father hated when he was out of sight. He understood the concern, he wasn't _that_ proud to not be able to see he had enemies simply because he was Laufey's little Frostfemme. But unlike Thrym and their other brothers who could come and go as they pleased once they were of age, Loki didn't have the same leeway. Not to mention if he had a baby now there would be no chance at adventuring.

“...I'd like to. If father agrees.” he said, but the idea already seemed empty. He had no real plans of asking anyhow.

“If you feel up to it, we'll go to Álfheimr.” Nuada promised, smiling surely. Loki couldn't help smiling back a little. “I would offer to take you to other realms but it would be improper. Álfheimr will pose no threat and it's my home, so it's a reasonable adventure for you. Nuala would love to see you again.”

“Nuala is…kind.” Loki said, hesitantly. “She seems very nice.”

“Nuala is...” Nuada trailed off, and smiled down at the cup in his hands. Loki frowned and smiled at his expression, and wondered what he was trying to phrase. Nuada eventually chuckled and gave a shrug “She is the best part of my father and I.”

Loki smiled to say 'probably', and chuckled lightly when Nuada caught it and laughed too. Loki looked down at his own cup. “Well, it can't be that much of a stretch, you seem decent yourself.”

Nuada looked up at him, but Loki resisted meeting his gaze. He saw Nuada smile a little.

“I hope I can prove it to you one day.”

Loki didn't know how to—let alone _try_ to—respond. Frigga's words yesterday had wormed its way into the back of his mind even if he tried to ignore it. Nuada had given him a very good mate, there was no denying that. He was well mannered and matured, and now he was offering to take him exploring. He _did_ seem like a decent man, and if Loki was forced to be with him, would Nuada indeed prove to him that he was genuine? And not a Thor in disguise? Could there actually be a happy ending with this man? He sounded like he had convinced himself of the matter, could Loki find it in him to convince himself too? Would it take a baby to do that?

…Loki would never find out, he couldn’t allow that. He couldn’t take that chance.

Troubled, he looked up at Nuada, and saw calm eyes looking back at him. Nuada was handsome indeed, seemingly patient, and seemingly a good lover, unless everything was a farce. Loki wanted to be angry, but if it wasn’t Nuada then it would be Thor. While Thor was frightening, Loki didn’t particularly _want_ Nuada, he just—…maybe he would have been able to appreciate this Nuada better if it weren’t in this situation. If it weren’t that he _had_ to have a baby, if it weren’t that he had no choice of his own. He wasn’t Frigga, he couldn’t do it…

“There is so much to see in the realms.” Nuada continued when Loki failed to. “Numerous, _countless_ places to go.”

“Have you been to all the realms?” Loki asked to shift the attention from him.

“Not _all_ , but most.”

“Even Midgard?”

“Yes.”

Loki leaned in. “What’s it like? Do they truly worship-…the Aesir?”

Nuada nodded, and smiled patiently. “They do. Thor is quite famous there.” Loki cringed minutely at the mention, but Nuada grinned. “It’s rather funny, I believe they think he has red hair.”

“Red hair?” Loki split a small smile at the ridiculous idea. “Why?”

“Apparently it was a misconception. I do not know the full story but thanks to his friends the humans there stuck with it, so that’s how they depict him. Though one of Thor’s company has red hair, perhaps they mistook them for each other.”

Loki chuckled weakly, looking at his hands, but another question quickly bubbled up, more naturally than before.

“Are there truly humans there that live in water? With tails and no legs?” Loki had only a handful of books on Midgard, and curiously it was filled with the strangest stories he’d ever heard. His father believed his uncle was lying about all he saw and jotted down in his book, but Midgard was a realm full of mystery, backwards and hostile, yet teeming with its own life of sorts.

Nuada chuckled, and pleased Loki with a nod. “The humans call them Merfolk. I was fortunate in my youth to spot them whilst travelling with a friend. They were quite a sight. Until my companion thought his charms could possibly bewitch them.”

“Was their water warm?” Loki asked, “I know Midgard isn’t cold.”

“You’d be surprised, Midgard has many different lands of different kinds. They do have icy regions where Jotuns could flourish.”

“They do? How do the humans survive?”

“They have their ways. Humans are quite creative,” 

If Loki noticed a tinge of annoyance in Nuada’s tone he didn’t point it out. “And what of the flying beast they call a dragon? Do you know it?”

“Yes. I met them.” Loki’s eyes widened, and Nuada smiled humbly. “But only a few hatchlings. I came across them when meeting a fair queen.”

By the smile and nostalgia dancing upon Nuada’s face Loki immediately wondered if he had bed this queen. But he frowned soon after. “What was she doing around dragons? Did you save her?”

Nuada laughed, surprising Loki, and shook his head quickly as if it were unimaginable. “No, no. She was their mother. In a way,” he corrected at Loki’s pinched nose, “She hatched them. I do wonder how large they’ve grown by now.”

“I read they grow as big as halls.” Loki felt a pang of jealousy that Nuada had been all the way on Midgard, meeting dragons and queens and being so free and alive.

“Dragons are rare. They slumber more often than not, and usually when they come out the humans try to slay them, so their numbers drop continuously.”

Loki frowned. He’d thought they looked rather impressive, or maybe his uncle was just a flatterer in his depictions. “Why not breed them then? Like we do with our beasts?”

“It is not in the nature of a dragon to be tamed and commanded. And when a human cannot command something, they detest and destroy it. Capturing a dragon is not like cattle, and there is nothing a dragon has to offer but its scales and teeth. They fetch a handsome price the rarer they are, so breeding them isn’t done.”

“But one day they could all die out?”

“Yes, they could.” Nuada looked sadden by the fact, and Loki had the sudden urge to see a dragon before they all died.

“Unfortunately, Álfheimr doesn’t have as many fascinating creatures as Midgard does. There aren’t any dragons or Merfolk.”

“You have fae.” Loki pointed out. Nuada smiled at his knowledge.

“Yes we do. They’re shy, even to Elves, so I cannot promise we’ll find any if we take the day.”

Loki shrugged in a non committal manner, then looked around with a purse of his lips. “Jötunheimr doesn’t have many fascinating creatures either. Everything we have is big and hairy. And anything in the deep waters frightens children to death.”

“I won’t disagree there.” Nuada laughed. “But that means Jotun have the most beauty of the land.”

Loki’s face dropped a little. “…Don’t call me that.”

Nuada straightened. “I apologise. I just mean in general—”

“You can discuss my being Frostfemme with another,” Loki said sharply, “I can assume you’ve read up on that.” His tone was accusatory, and Nuada shifted guiltily.

“…I have. But not out of malevolence, my prince. Surely I should know as much as possible before engaging in something new?”

Loki’s mouth popped open. “ _Engaging in something new_?”

If possible, Nuada flinched and straightened even further, holding his palms up and shaking his head. “Not like that! I meant-I _didn’t_ mean-I meant... I always learn about anywhere I travel before going there, that’s all I meant.”

Loki was dark blue with blush. He looked away and took a heavy swing of his ale, hoping the cold liquid would cool his cheeks.

“…My apologies.” Nuada looked down, seeming almost genuine. 

The rest of their afternoon passed quickly. One of Loki’s uncles decided to join them at some point and distracted Nuada with talk, giving Loki an hour or so of respite. A short while later Loki managed to slink off to the lavatories, and hesitated for a good half an hour before his body forced him to relief himself. It wasn’t a very long activity seeing as how small meals he ate, and the pain he feared did not appear. He did his own magical check up afterwards but he was fine, Berhuir had done a proper job. But that meant there was no excuse to stop the mating tonight… 

When dinner time came around, Loki was more than happy to see Thrym had returned.

Like expected the man scooped Loki up in a hug and lifted him off the ground to swing him, chuckling welcomingly. “There you are! I missed you today.”

Loki couldn’t help smiling as Thrym squeezed him close the way he craved. “Thrym.” He said, happily.

Thrym pinched his cheek playfully, then smiled over his shoulder. “Nuada, how’s Jötunheimr treating you?”

“Like an old friend.” Nuada bowed lightly.

“Come, food has just arrived.” Thrym steered them to the table, where Laufey sat. The table was rather empty tonight, like it usually was, save for these last few days of trials. Laufey and Loki both did not like to be crowded, and no one really liked to suffer under their cruel tendencies so dinner time at the royal table was usually a quiet affair—besides when Thrym was present. Whenever Thrym was sure to be there the table would be significantly more populated. But tonight, thanks to Laufey’s cheerful bravado—that had all but rotted away the moment the kings left— and the foreign princes, the table was fairly vacant. 

Loki pointedly took a seat on the other side of Thrym, and ignored the look from his father. Thrym and Nuada shared a look but sat after him, Nuada opposite Thrym. The food was steaming and the jugs of ale over flowing, and it all looked delicious, but Loki had no further appetite from the nibbles from lunch. How _could_ he eat with what was going to happen soon? Sitting here and eating was not making him feel _normal_. 

“Prince Nuada, I trust you had a good day?” Laufey asked, cutting his meat.

“Yes, I did thank you.” Nuada said, taking his servings.

“Hehmer?” Thrym asked Loki to the side. 

Loki shook his head, and ignored his plate completely. Thrym cringed lightly, and nudged him. “C’mon, father will notice.”

“I don’t want.” Loki stressed softly, watching from under his lashes as Nuada and Laufey busied themselves in some petty talk. Nuada looked so damn comfortable, smiling at Laufey’s kin, discussing their choice of topics, he was like an ambassador. And what of Thrym, did he know of his night with Thor, or did he just make it in and have yet to hear the gossip? Surely Thrym would take his side…wouldn’t he?

“The servants said you still aren’t eating,” Thrym whispered, frowning in concern, “You’re worrying me.”

“ _I’m fine_.” Loki mouthed stubbornly, and turned to look away, only to shrink back into Thrym at Thor’s appearance.

“Please excuse my tardiness, King Laufey.” Thor announced, cape billowing out behind him, Mjölnir at his hip. Everyone went silent, and watched him to his seat, bothering Thor not in the slightest. Laufey straightened, and gave him a once over.

“Thor.” He greeted stiffly.

The prince of Asgard took a seat a few away from Nuada, and proceeded to ignore them all in favour of the food. Loki wanted to melt away, missing the way Nuada glowered at Thor with enough heat to do so.

Thrym seemed to notice them both, but said nothing to the either man. He plopped a chunk of meat on Loki’s plate anyway and nudged it silently _pleadingly_ towards him. 

The rest of the dinner was a solemn affair. Nuada had suddenly stopped being so vocal and left that to Thrym, who tried his best to keep the table from sounding like a funeral gathering. Laufey didn’t look happy or sad, shooting Loki looks over Thrym and the occasional one to Thor, who was eating a least four times the amount Loki was managing to force down. Loki couldn’t find comfort with Thrym’s presence, he was still near Thor and he was still going to have to bed Nuada tonight. Everyone looked miserable.

Lost in his thoughts and the same chunk of meat for an hour, Loki was roused by a hand on his shoulder, and another held out to him.

It was Nuada.

“My prince.” Nuada greeted, respectfully, and gave Loki a gentle prompt of his fingers.

Loki looked around the table and saw that nearly everyone was gone, even Thor. All that remained was he and Nuada, Thrym, their father, and the guards.

His stomach gave a small turn, then another when he caught his father’s gaze. 

_Get up, Loki_ , it said.

And so he did. Loki gave over a hand and let Nuada help him to his feet. Thrym watched them quietly, opening and closing his mouth a few times in a failed effort, but one look at Loki’s expression and he decided to stay silent. Nuada gave Thrym and Laufey a small nod in goodnight and led Loki away. He didn’t rush, he let Loki’s mechanical steps set the pace, holding his hand gently.

When they were almost there, Loki realised the prince knew exactly how to get to his room now. It felt a little intruding but at least it saved him from having to think. He just wanted to drift off for the rest of the night, like he had at dinner. He was becoming very good at that, as he was to ignoring the needs of his stomach.

There weren’t anymore guards stationed directly outside his room, but there were still many walking the corridors. Nuada didn’t look at him until they were inside the room, and shut the door after them. When inside he released Loki, and allowed Loki a few moments of silence, where Loki kept his back turned, leaving him to spot a few curious vials on the tables on either side of the bed. Neither he nor Nuada had been cleaned and wiped down with any special perfumes today, and he wondered if Nuada needed him to smell like an Elf to be able to mate with him.

Nuada saw his object of attention. “I have made a request for oils, they will aid tonight. I do not wish to aggravate your pain.”

Ah, so it was for lubrication. The thought made him shudder. He kept staring at the vials. ‘… _Then don’t do this_.’ He thought sadly. 

“It will help.” Nuada said and stepped up behind him. He embraced Loki from behind and kissed delicately along his shoulder, and slowly up the side of his neck. Before pulling back he dragged his teeth down, making Loki tremble. He sniffed Loki’s foreign scent now that it was not covered in perfume, and hummed. “Grant me tonight?”

 _Now_ he asked for permission? Loki wanted to turn with a backhand, maybe with an ice dagger and give him another scar on his sharp face, but doing so would make the prince angry. And if he was angry, _now_ , that meant the mating would be angry. And Thor was infamous for his stampeding rage escapades, so making Nuada angry and having him mate him the way Thor did was _not_ worth one blind shot. …Was it?

As if siding with Nuada, his body gave a chill at the longing for a good scratch, creating a ghost path down his sides from the previous night.

With silent submission, Loki nodded, and started towards the bed. The sooner they did it, the sooner it could be over with. 

On the way Loki undressed, dropping a trail as he went. When naked, he climbed onto the bed and sat in the middle, sideways, watching Nuada’s pale form in the corner of his eye as his own clothes came off. Loki wondered if mating was possible with clothes on, it might make him feel less vulnerable.

The bedding sunk when Nuada climbed on and immediately he reached for the vials. “Can you turn around for me to prepare you? I won’t take long.”

He must have known that Loki didn’t want to prolong this, and if he did Loki decided to just be grateful for his foresight and help along. He took a deep breath before turning over onto his knees, but this time he didn’t bend all the way over. He shifted his knees apart just enough for access and leaned forward on his palms. Before the position could cause him to stress Nuada pressed his fingers between his cheeks and rubbed his finger tips against his hole, straight to the point. 

The skin was still sore despite the salve and Loki’s back tightened, but he kept his teeth clenched and lips sealed. Then Nuada rubbed a hand up his thigh, squeezing experimentally, and when he repeated it he included his nails. Immediately it felt like there was fire beneath his skin sparking up, trying to light against the ice of his being. His body clenched again but this time in a good way, and he almost didn’t feel when Nuada slipped in a finger.

Quickly Nuada leaned over and slipped his arm around to Loki’s chest, and dragged his nails down towards his belly while simultaneously biting down along his shoulder blades.

Loki cried out at the sudden burst of sensation on both sides of his body and subconsciously thrust his hips back. Nuada’s finger pulled out briefly while he distracted Loki with nibbles and scratches, and when he replaced it, it was with more oil. He didn’t push his finger too far in, knowing Loki would lubricate himself with enough coaxing, but wiped on enough to assure easy passage.

He stopped sooner than Loki expected— _wanted_ —and lifted his hand to join the other in massaging and kneading Loki’s front. He rubbed his nose along Loki’s spine, and lifted his face up with a hard lick. He dug his tongue against the bone, and listened to the sweet sound of Loki’s moans. By now he was pressed up against Loki’s backside and Loki turned his hips up in response, wiggling instinctively against his hardening member. The contact made his desire grow, but he licked a little while longer, travelling down until he was nearing Loki’s cheeks-

But Loki pulled away. He turned over abruptly, looking a bit weary, and after what looked like a small debate dumped himself on his back.

He didn’t want Nuada’s face staring right into his shame. 

Nuada didn’t argue, and urged Loki to allow him between his legs. Loki complied quietly and moaned softly as Nuada’s long fingers kneaded his skin as he lifted apart his thighs. Loki’s chest was tingling from all the scratching and his back was actually burning from the oral stimulation. Again—what the fuck?

Looking calm whereas Loki thought he should look secretive or suspicious, Nuada lifted his hips and rested his arse on his thighs for easy access. Loki’s thighs fell apart easily this way, towards this body, and Nuada guided himself in without prolonging the moment.

Without resistance he slid in, but unlike the first time he went in little by little, glancing up and moving according to Loki’s facial expressions. By the time he was balls deep Loki was grunting in effort to stop reacting, but Nuada saw it as discomfort. So he rubbed his palm down onto Loki’s length and curled his fingers-

“N-no,” Loki quickly pushed his hand away, his face going navy. “No.” he repeated as sternly as possible, and settled for holding onto Nuada’s biceps so his hands weren’t idle. He dug his nails in as a warning, but lay still otherwise. Jotuns had the highest chance of conceiving during climax, and while he put all his hope on the potion, resisting an orgasm would pretty much ensure no babies. It was enough he had climaxed the first night.

Nuada frowned at him. He frowned back. Nuada pressed his lips together and didn’t try for it again.

They started a slow rhythm, and Loki was glad for it despite being impatient to finish. He was still hurting a little but he didn’t want to re-tear whatever Thor had. His hands were shaking, it made him blush harder, but slowly they found their way up to Nuada’s defined shoulders. As Nuada rocked above him he tried to focus on them, their shape, their colour, the feel of them as they rolled beneath his fingers—anything to distract him from the increasingly appealing sensations driving straight into his core.

The difference from last night was in complete contrast, this felt _too_ gentle, he almost didn’t know how to handle it.

But no matter his wish, he was Jotun, and he couldn’t resist sexual advances especially now that he was prepared. Between the oil and his own betrayal Nuada slid in smoothly without a hiccup, massaging and tantalizing the walls of his channel while forcing his cock to stiffen against his will. He forgot about the dull stinging and his hips rolled up despite his disapproval. 

“Am I hurting you?” Nuada asked, breathless. His thrusts didn’t stop, and Loki found it hard to speak when they were moving, so he shook his head and dug his nails into Nuada’s shoulders. Both scratching and receiving scratches felt good, like a release of some sort in the muscles, and Loki scratched again for a change instead of being scratched. It made his tension ease and Nuada wasn’t complaining, so he dragged his nails down Nuada’s chest and started to mark him. 

If anything, it spurred Nuada on. To _him_ it was a special kind of a marking, a marking he didn’t want to be doing, but it help him cope, and he didn’t care if Nuada was uncomfortable or not. He didn’t care if Nuada _knew_ it or not. 

The Elf prince leaned over him as he kept thrusting down into him, picking up the pace little by little. Little mewls escaped Loki beneath his grunts to keep inside the moans, and he flushed in shame when his cock stirred against his belly.

For the next while Loki tried to be as still as possible, doing what was expected, taking what was expected, but only after it seemed to go on for too long did he realise Nuada was waiting for him to peak first. 

He didn’t want to. Not only was it a welcome for babies but it was a defeat.

But Nuada was too skilled to win against, even in bed.

Loki panted helplessly as the coil within him tightened and tightened until each pump of Nuada’s cock was pure ecstasy. His body was burning with each thrust that hit harder than the last, his cock was leaking and in his primal state he wished it would never stop. He was bouncing beneath Nuada, clinging to his shoulders and listening to the sweet sounds of copulation. 

Just when Loki thought he had gotten a hold on himself Nuada dipped his head and caught him in a kiss, pulling back with a bite to his bottom lip. It did it for Loki, and he peaked hard beneath Nuada. His back arched and he pressed his front against Nuada as close as he could, crying out in bliss as his climax hit. Nuada took the moment to slide his arms around Loki’s back and lifted his body a few inches off the bed and against his front. Loki wrapped his arms around his shoulders and moaned helplessly as his head hung back into the pillows, twitching as Nuada buried his face into his neck as he thrust twice more before finally succumbing as well, and released his seed deep inside Loki, where he prayed for it to take.

Breathing harshly, Loki hung after he stopped his climax, his eyes drifting closed. Vaguely he noted his stomach as it gave an angry grumble, and Nuada looked up at him in response.

“…G-get off,” he breathed, well aware that his arms were locked around Nuada’s neck, his own flushed dark in shame and embarrassment.

Nuada gave no argument and placed him back on the bed first, then untangled his arms. Loki pulled them back as soon as he could, and watched as Nuada peeled himself off, a generous amount of sticky cum smeared and connecting their abdomens in a few strings. 

In a fit of deep embarrassment, Loki groaned and fisted a handful of the furs and scrubbed down Nuada’s body so he wouldn’t have to see it. Nuada was surprised but didn’t stop him, and waited until he was finished with them both. Loki realised he was lying on the damned fur, and to get rid of it he’d have to get up. It brought him to the fact that Nuada was still inside him.

In response to the thought his hole clenched and they hissed in union, and Loki jerked up, humiliated. He whined with an incoherent plea to be released and pushed against Nuada’s chest, starting to pant again as the shame overwhelmed him. The other prince moved back at his command, a little slower than he wanted but more carefully than he expected. Nuada’s cock was softening now and slid out easily, taking a trail of seed with it, tickling his skin as it cooled. Loki fought unnecessarily for personal space and quickly scrambled to claim his side of the bed. He didn’t notice Nuada remove the soiled fur, having forgotten and now focused on covering himself with the rest.

A small lump had formed in Nuada’s throat, and he too settled on his side, leaving Loki the majority of the bed. Loki ignored it, and curled up towards the edge of his side, bundled up in the furs until all Nuada could see was his hair, and the steadying rhythm of his breathing.

Nuada struggled for a good while on whether or not to bid Loki a good night, but by the time he decided not to, Loki was already sleeping.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Edit
> 
> I have accidentally given everyone the impression that Frigga has been living in a marriage of rape for years. It is **not** like that. Frigga started off unwilling in her marriage, but once Thor was born she settled in and hasn't been unwilling since. She bled her first few times of sex through a small injury aggravated. When Odin mentioned bleeding is normal, he had Thor's strength (and probable girth) in mind and that it was only Loki's second time being bed. 
> 
> Frigga is okay, she's been happy and safe all these years. Odin is a bastard but he hasn't been brutally raping her, and once Thor was born his reasoning for unreasonably-timed sex diminished, so she could pull the headache excuse. I apologise heartily for the misunderstanding!!!


	11. Thor Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki struggles through his day with Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I have accidentally given everyone the impression that Frigga has been living in a marriage of rape for years. It is not like that. Frigga started off unwilling in her marriage, but once Thor was born she settled in and hasn't been unwilling since. She bled her first few times of sex through a small injury aggravated. When Odin mentioned bleeding is normal, he had Thor's strength (and probable girth) in mind and that it was only Loki's (being reluctant) second time being bed.
> 
> Frigga is okay, she's been happy and safe all these years. Odin is a bastard but he hasn't been brutally raping her, and once Thor was born his reasoning for unreasonably-timed sex diminished, so she could pull the headache excuse. I apologise heartily for the misunderstanding!!!
> 
> And more kudos to RockGaara for pointing out Khaleesi ref XD
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I had a sick relative to look after when I wasn’t working, and when I sat down to write Thor and Loki were making it extremely difficult. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Warnings: Self-degradation, testosterone, and aggressive drunken sex.**
> 
>  
> 
> SatansSin I used that one line you used in a comment, I couldn’t NOT use it, Loki’s mind works that way 
> 
> I apologise for spelling errors. I’ll fix errors in time over the weekend.
> 
>  
> 
>  

** Chapter 11: Thor Day 2 **

Loki awoke the next morning in a sour mood. 

Prince Nuada was already gone when he woke up, leaving his scent and ruffled bedding behind. As Loki slowly crept into awareness he realised the room smelt like sex. It wasn’t overpowering, but it was faintly noticeable, and in their climate with cool air, smells were significant when regarding the source.

He lay still for a while as if moving would attract attention from his father, and let his mind replay on last night’s activities. He frowned in displeasure when he thought about how he gave in twice now to climax under Nuada’s hands, as if he was trained. What kind of dignity was he expected to have after spilling his own seed in pleasure under the hands of a foreigner? What did Nuada think of this? With his boasting on travelling far and wide he must have been proud of himself for _engaging in something new_. Everyone knew Thor bed women from different realms, his tales were common and often paired with some sort of point of his victory or petty humiliation that served for a silly laugh with his friends while drowning in liquor. His victories in bed had become nothing more than amusing stories mentioned for sport, but for the elf? He must feel pretty smug with himself for bedding a Jotun and making it undone by his hand. Thor held disgust, he could sense it and handle that, but the elf…

With a tight lipped stare, Loki shifted and aimed a hand between his legs, but felt a crumbling layer on his stomach catch his attention. It made him flinch lightly and he ghosted his finger tips over it for a hesitant moment, before scratching viciously. He grunted and sat up with more growls than whimpers and scratched away the dried cum, and when satisfied he spread his legs and cupped the area behind his balls. 

His cheeks were crusted with release and he started scratching again. The bedding beneath him became full of crumbled seed and he started to itch, and started to scratch the rest of his body. A particularly difficult itch to sate behind his back made him arch and his entrance pulled painfully in warning, and he slowed down like an obedient child.

But like all children his curiosity and temper got the better of him and he pulled up to his knees. He leaned forward on his left arm, watching the door, and slipped his hand between his legs again. He felt an odd feeling inside his gut at this angle, it felt like something was pushing up his spine. Then with more care, he poked at his entrance, then again when it proved plenty bearable. It was a surprise, it _shouldn’t_ be bearable…

His ring was swollen and sensitive. Hesitantly, he pressed in a finger, and grit his teeth as it sunk in without problem. He was wet inside, and soft and faintly warm. There was little to no pain, and he pressed in a second finger, and moved them about, trying to find the pain. He looked around the bedding and his body but there was no blood in sight. There was no stinging inside him, no sharp pain, but nothing else either. He stretched comfortably around his fingers as if it were a common thing, seeking whatever lay within, and he dug a little deeper in frustration when his fingers proved to be inadequate. He knew it was somewhere. Easy to find, two nights had proved it—

Abruptly he tore his fingers from his body and jerked up on his knees, and stared at his glistening fingers as if they had invaded him on their own accord.  
‘ _Inadequate_?’ He thought frenetically to himself. His entrance clenched in response to his thoughts despite his will to ignore it, and he sat back slowly down to the bedding on his calves.

“I’m a whore,” he breathed to himself, and swallowed thickly as fluidly trickled out of him and collected behind his balls before dripping into the bedding. It tickled lightly and he shivered, and looked back to his wet fingers, his climax from the night before drifting back into his mind as he finally felt his stomach burn in response to the scratching.

What had he been hoping for to find his fingers inadequate? He had only been searching for the pain that should have been present, not the physical recollection of his coupling. Not that spot inside him that felt so good to touch…not…

‘ _Liar, liar_ ,’ a voice said in his head.

“I was _not_.” He hissed back, and found the strength in him to swing angrily off the bed.

‘ _You’re liking it. Just look at the evidence_.’

“ _I hate it_.” he hissed, and viciously tore the furs from the bed. He threw them aside in the corner, they were filthy.

‘ _What do you think everyone thinks of your submission? Can you guess_?’

“It’s not my fault!” he cried through his teeth, bunching his fists up at his temples. There was a familiar red hot anger building inside him, crawling from his core. It felt desperate, angry, _hungry_.

He was hungry. Loki’s stomach gave a loud growl and he cursed loudly at its petty desires. 

‘ _Maybe you need some more cock to fill you up_ ,’ the voice teased. ‘ _then you’ll be full for a good few months just like everyone wants_.’

“I will sooner be a whore.” Loki swore, and with a swing of his hand blasted away the cleaning utensils laid down at the foot of his bed. The power behind it surprised him, he was only just learning offensive magic, but he was too angry to take note. He revelled in the crash as it hit the far wall and stalked over to his medicine. 

“You’ll see, I’ll show everyone. Show them. They’ll see.” He continued to mumble under his breath as he threw back is head and guzzled the potion, throwing the vial in the direction of the smashed utensils when he felt more seed seep out of him. 

His aim missed by inches a servant that had entered his chambers with surprising stealth. His anger kept him stoic and he remained crouched around the bed, glaring at the servant who lowered his hand that protected his face from the shards of glass.

“Prince, breakfast has been served, your father wishes to remind you to come down to eat.”

“I will come down after I’ve starved to death, go tell him that!”

The servant looked comically shocked, but surprisingly did not bother to contradict him and left. Immediately Loki’s mind wiped clean what he was just told and he pressed a hand to his burning belly.

For a small while Loki panted and leaned against the bedding as the potion settled inside him, spreading its warmth. He was getting used to its burning, it was becoming less of a burden and more of a privilege.

‘ _That was rude behaviour, you act as if Thor was the one to rape you last night_.’ The voice appeared from nowhere, frightening him to his feet. He stumbled and groaned, knocking his knuckles against his temple to drown it out. ‘ _Ungrateful wench_.’ The voice added, as if he ought to be glad it was Nuada who had him last night. 

“ _Shut. UP_.” He spat venomously, and in a fit of rage not unlike the kind he felt that day of his trial against Thor, he slapped himself.

Just as the hit landed solidly, someone else had entered the room, and they barked out in shock, and before he knew it he was restrained, his arms behind his back and an arm around his chest.

“LOKI!” he heard the voice yell, it sounded distant. He saw blue and smelt a familiar scent, and knew it was Thrym. His heart gave a sad thump when he remembered how he longed for his brother the previous morning.

“Loki! Loki what are you doing?” Thrym demanded angrily, and grabbed Loki’s chin to tilt his face up. “Why did you do that?”

‘ _Whore whore whore_.’ The voice sung. 

Thrym abruptly released his arms, and turned him to squeeze him against his chest. Where had this been yesterday when he needed it? Horrible timing.

“I don’t ever want to see you do that again. Do you understand?” Thrym growled, hugging Loki despite that he hung limping, staring off.

“Then don’t catch me next time…” Loki breathed, and Thrym pried them apart to shake him by the shoulders.

“What is this? What’s happened?”

What’s happened? Loki couldn’t say. Thrym either wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t be able to help, or wouldn’t care. Loki stuck with the first, as he couldn’t quite decipher his own problems in the first place. Maybe he _was_ being childish and rude. Maybe he was just tired of being touched. Maybe he was insane. Maybe he was a whore. Maybe he was in denial. Maybe he was terrified of his day ahead. Maybe he was angry.

“Loki, answer me.”

“I’m alright.” Loki said softly. “Just angry.”

Thrym frowned and looked over his naked body briefly. “Angry?”

“Yes.”

Thrym looked at him like he was indeed insane, and crouched just under his height. “Want to punch again?”

Loki thought for a moment, then shook his head. Whores didn’t punch, they didn’t fight. They took.

“…Then what do you want? What’s wrong? Did Nuada hurt you?”

Loki paused again, then shook his head.

Thrym made an impatient noise. “Then Thor? Is today worrying you?”

Loki gave no reply.

Of course it was worrying him, it worried him so much it became part of his subconscious that didn’t even need manual thought to fester. Thor would have him today, and he’d bleed for sure.

“…Loki you are tough.” Thrym said, after a small hesitance. “You will overcome this fear.”

How? He didn’t want to face this. Why did he have to face this? Any of this? What had he ever done to deserve this? He’d rather drown in these fears if it meant not facing them again.

“Wine.” He said abruptly. Thrym blinked.

“Wine?”

“Wine.”

“You want wine.”

“Tonight,” Loki said, still eerily blank.

Thrym frowned again, and held Loki’s hands in his. “You know you shouldn’t drink.” He said, hesitantly, as if Loki would break.

But Loki held together, a blank pillar of ice. He stared at his brother in the eye in a way he never had before, unnerving Thrym. “I need it.”

Thrym looked deeply troubled, and stood up. “Loki…”

“Please,” Loki whispered, “Just tonight. I _need_ it. Thrym, I need it.”

Thrym’s heart melted at the moisture collected around Loki’s wide eyes, and he eventually nodded, knowing and already regretting.

“I have a free morning, do you want me to loiter around?”

Loki nodded mechanically, and said nothing more. Thrym sighed, but gave Loki’s head a kiss and finally took note of the room. He petted Loki’s head. “Want us to eat here? But we have to go find Thor after.”

Loki gave another nod, and Thrym sat him down on the bed, before opening the door and leaning out to call the servants. Loki watched quietly as they removed the discarded furs and cleaning utensils, quickly replacing them and drawing their attention to the new stack of clothes placed in an idle cupboard. When the servants left to fetch their breakfast Thrym dug through them and tried to lift Loki’s spirits with a few jokes and ‘at leasts’.

After a quick clean, Loki took his time to get dressed and make himself look presentable, and not well fucked like he felt. Three days in a row now—it was starting to make his body weak. Or maybe that was the potion simmering within him. _Or_ the fact that he wasn’t eating. The last thought made his own conscious nervous, but he was far from falling dead. But hopefully it would help tamper with his fertility.

He was no longer given furs to wear. The tailors had made him quite a few custom clothing over the years based on pictures he liked from his books. Now he had to wear odd fabrics from Asgard and Álfheimr. It wasn’t as flashy as the trial-clothing though, so he dressed without complained. He slipped on a simple skirt, it hung at his knees, slit down the sides for better movement. It was a silky fabric, much too delicate for Jötunheimr. Stubbornly he left his chest bear.

The servants returned quickly with food, and surprisingly no blaring message from their father, so Loki deflated an inch. 

Thrym urged him on every few bites, complementing his own plate in an effort to rouse Loki. Loki’s eyes kept flickering towards the door as if Thor would suddenly barge in and demand his time. Or more specifically, his rump. 

At one point Thrym asked softly if he needed to apply any salve that came with the cleaning tools, but Loki ignored that until Thrym took the hint. 

After than hour of eating (Loki was surprised by how much he put down) and cleaning and dressing, Thrym hesitated to get Loki to leave the room, finding his heavy silence eerie compared to the fit of anger he had displayed earlier. Loki said little of consequence and followed along after him.

Loki was glad to have Thrym besides him, but Thrym couldn’t follow him tonight. But he ought to be grateful for any amount of his presence shouldn’t he? 

They left the room together a while after, longer than Loki knew Laufey would have liked, and headed in some direction. Thrym greeted the few they met on the way, until he stopped altogether. Loki was staring at his feet and didn’t see the person he walked into. He stumbled back, a cold shiver going through him, but it was just Helblindi. It relieved him more than he knew it should.

“Prince Loki, good morn.” Helblindi smiled, helping to right Loki. His hands lingered longer than necessary and Loki shivered again, an odd shiver that made his toes curl. Thrym stiffened as he watched the passing and glancing around for spectators. Loki technically wasn’t to be touched unless it was family or the foreign princes, it was no secret that Helblindi and a number of Jotuns were vying for Loki’s hand, not to mention the rebels. Trust could be placed in the wrong person, leaving Loki’s wellbeing compromised.

“Hel-Helblindi,” Loki got out, stepping back into Thrym when he was steady. He automatically rubbed at the spot on his arm Helblindi touched, it was tingling in the strangest way, much more than his stomach now that it finally had a full helping to soak in. There was a light flush to his body again but it was almost unnoticeable.

“Thrym,” Helblindi added, and they shared a small smiled, but Helblindi’s eyes quickly flittered back to Loki. The air was heavy with unspoken words, as if they had been engaged in conversation the whole time and met a strange crossroad. 

“Helblindi.” Thrym curled an arm around Loki, “Excuse us, we’re late.” With that he dragged Loki around Helblindi and kept them headed on their way. Loki looked back despite the clear tightening of Thrym’s arm, and watched Helblindi stare until a corner swallowed them. Neither sibling said anything about it.

Loki nearly thought they were headed to breakfast, but it was very nearly lunch time. He had wasted away most of the morning, it was surprising, but a relief. But Thrym quickly found Thor, rubbing Loki’s arms as they neared.

It was easy to know when a royal was approaching. The guards stood up straighter, the servants stepped aside and it usually went quiet. Thor chose to loiter on the balcony above the guards’ training ground, leaning on the fancy sculpted ice as he watched their routine, when Laufey’s favourite sons appeared.

He pushed off the rail and idled forward slightly to meet them. He couldn’t help his eyes falling to Loki first, who stood small and silent besides Thrym.

“Thor! Good morning.” Thrym smiled widely, and clapped Thor on the shoulder. Thor smiled and returned it.

“Thrym.” He paused and looked back at Loki. “Prince Loki.”

Loki gave a weak smile, it didn’t go further than his lips, and looked away to the side. Thrym quickly cut in.

“So, Thor, I have the morning off, do you mind if I tag along?”

“Not at all, please, do join us.”

“Good. Loki, what would you like to do?”

‘ _Go die_?’ 

Thor made a sound in the back of his throat. “You did promise me a spar, Thrym, perhaps I can take you up on that offer? And you can cheer for me?” he added merrily to Loki.

Loki looked up at Thor from under his lashes, his face angled low. It gave him a dark look, coupled by the shock of Thor’s words. Thor looked at Thrym nervously, as if Loki was about to attack him at any second.

Thrym nudged Loki gently, pleadingly, and Loki relented. He lifted his face a bit and strained to smile. It was a pathetic attempt and he just looked pained, but it seemed to placate them. “Sounds delightful.” He lied, sarcastically.

Thrym smiled—winced—and gestured for Thor to go first. They walked in silence out of the palace and to the side of the training grounds for the royal guards, and with a quick wave of his hand Thrym dismissed the men present. They didn’t argue, glad for the reprieve, but made sure to stare as hard as they could between Loki and Thor.

Within a few noisy moments the area was cleared, weapons stacked in their proper places, making the place look professional, and even a little beautiful with the background of the rolling misty hills.

Thrym then grinned and darted away, leaving Loki to panic besides Thor, and hurried to scoop up two weapons native to Jötunheimr, and threw one at Thor. Loki ducked angrily, already out of the trajectory, and just behind him Thor caught it with his own grin.

“I must warn you, I am good. I may not be the _famous Thor_ , but you'd be surprised.” Thrym gloated, throwing out his wide arms in a stretch, blade pointed out. Thor nodded as he looked over Thrym’s large form.

“Then why didn't you enter the trials?” Thor asked curiously.

“I did ask, but as king-to-be it would have been a disgrace to beat you to a pulp instead of making peace.” Thrym smirked.

Thor chuckled without malice, and looked down at his weapon. “That is true, wise,” He rolled it in his hands, and Loki struggled to stay in arm’s reach.

“Indeed, but here it is different.” Thrym spread out his hands to the grounds and gave Thor a challenging grin.

Thor mirrored it. “Don't hold back.”

“I might have to, can't have you too damaged to move.”

Openly rolling his eyes, Loki turned for the spectators’ seats, dropped himself moodily onto the row of chairs surrounding the little arena. He winced silently at the sharp jolt the movement sent up his core, and noted to _sit_ next time. He was a friend to himself, his only friend, he needed to look after himself… 

“No! No fair, Mjölnir _out_.” Thrym chided loudly, earning another laugh from Thor.

Loki frowned as he regarded them, Thor. His laugh was so light and cheerful, he sounded so _happy_ , it made Loki uneasy. How could such a rough man be so shining? He _looked_ like the sun, warm and bright, he looked like everything the people spoke of, but what Loki had experienced was not what was bragged of. It felt like a big lie. Frigga said he was loving and protective to those he loved, but did that mean was the reverse true? Did he then despise and torment those he hated? Why did he act so casual when clearly he did not want to be here? Here with Loki. Why _act_? 

Loki wasn’t sure what he was wondering. Did he _want_ Thor to act retched and horrible? Yes…maybe then he would see the real Thor, and know what he was capable of, rather than staring at this chuckling body and wondering how badly its hand would hurt him tonight. Yes…there were no surprises then, no false hope, no tricks, and maybe less humiliation. It felt as if Thor was pretending to be this man here, just so he could trick Loki at night with who he really was when no one was looking…

Loki didn’t like being tricked.

When he finally focused back on the scene before him, he frowned again, and held his tingling stomach. Just like immature boys, Thrym and Thor wasted away the rest of the morning by rough housing and making taunting jokes. Thor seemed to like Thrym, which was odd if not a farce as Thrym was the next king of Jötunheimr. What better way to influence Jötunheimr than to be friends with its king? Other hand having one of the royals as a wife. He could bet Odin ordered Thor to make friends with Thrym, which was ridiculous when it was _he_ who would be doing the bonding here, he deserved to be the one Thor’s trying to befriend.

Thrym in equal seemed to be enjoying himself, taking great pleasure in knocking Thor down. He'd always wanted to do that. They were loud and rowdy, changing weapons every few matches and falling on their backsides more often than not. Thrym had never had so much fun sparring, except with Loki. Loki was surprised he didn't proclaim love. But he noticed Thrym never went too far, and kept Thor's elation above his own. Thrym was learning.

A few times Thor would look back at Loki, especially after an impressive move, as if looking for praise or trying to catch Loki's reaction. But all Loki wanted to blend into the ice and disappear until it was all over. He was already dreading tonight, and to spend energy now pretending to support the yellow man was not appealing. He sat quietly, wishing he had brought a book, but watched dutifully, at least enjoying the show in general. More than once he wanted to bark out a snide comment in Thrym’s favour, specifically for him to pull out that pretty princess blond hair, but even that felt like a job. His anger from earlier had dissipated as soon as Thrym walked in, leaving him drifting into a lethargic state. It was almost as bad as the uncontrollable rage, but at least he wasn’t flinging weapons and responsible for Thor’s murder. He’d have caused the next war, and knowing his luck, he might he handed over to Odin as recompense, and that would _not_ happen. He’d sooner jump into Muspelheim’s volcanoes than have that fossilized cock near him.

After nearly three hours of trying to fake impressed expressions and half hearted involvement by requesting what fighting moves he wanted to see next, Loki was glad to see the men stop, panting and heaving, suddenly hanging all over each other like old friends. Thor pushed his damp hair out of his face, glistening in sweat. His shirt disappeared at some point, giving the brothers an unwanted eye full. Watching Thor get all sweaty and worked up was doing naught but tensing up Loki’s body in preparation for tonight, despite the appeal in the form of his body.

Thrym called for a bowl of water from the servants, but it soon proved too cold for Thor to properly use. The water was almost at the temperature of freezing, and with his body burning from the activity its contact was pure pain. Loki was infuriatingly irritated when Thrym brought the bowl to him.

“Care to lend a hand?” he asked, smiling slyly. Loki narrowed his eyes.

“Can’t a mage do that?”

“You are a mage.”

Loki pressed his lips into a line and glanced at Thor, who was wiping the sweat off his brow. The urge to leave the water ice cold and dump it on Thor was great, but he still didn’t have the energy. He sighed irritably and put his hand into the water. He jumped a little—it was extremely cold, how had it not hardened? Thrym raised a brow at him. He ignored him and worked on warming the water through his magic until it felt hot to his skin. He didn’t know what it would feel like on Thor’s skin, but he was not going to stress over it. 

“There.” He pulled out his hand and flicked it clean. Thrym winked. “Thanks.”

Loki sighed nasally and watched Thrym pass the bowl to Thor. Thor thanked him and looked over to give Loki a small grateful smile. Loki didn’t return it, and stared blankly as Thrym returned to his side and plopped down with him.

“He spars well.” Thrym said, impressed.

“I can imagine he kills well too.” Loki shot.

Thrym didn’t reply, and Loki felt a spark of satisfaction. They watched Thor soak a cloth in the water and wipe his body off, leaving an equal sheen behind that should have been attractive. His hair was tucked behind his ears, and both Loki and Thrym titled their heads to stare at the hair underneath his arms. They stared openly, it wasn’t often an Aesir leisurely washed himself in front of them, and Thrym lowered his voice when he spoke.

“If he had a leaner shape he’d have made a pretty Frostfemme.” 

Loki snorted, but didn’t bother to keep the image at bay. “Please. He can give it. I doubt he could take it.” 

“I’m sure there would be someone here willing to give him the practice.” Thrym murmured. Loki grinned sadistically, and looked to his lap. Thrym chuckled and gave him a playful nudge. “I know many who would do it just to pull that hair.”

Loki gave Thrym a dark pout, but it was not Thrym’s fault. Part of the allure of a Frostfemme was their head full of hair. Apparently their heads weren’t big enough to incubate heat in their climate, adding the need for hair. It was almost a rule that hair pulling would be part of mating with a Frostfemme. It was then he realised he hadn’t had his hair pulled, but he hadn’t been mating Jotuns. Hair wasn’t a rare trait for them, both Thor and Nuada had enough hair of their own, as did their people. 

“Nuada also has hair.” Thrym noted, near his train of thought, “But that hair looks like it could break by touching it.”

“No argument there,” Loki agreed with a purse of his lips, their eyes still on Thor. But that made him wonder, did the Aesir and Elves practice hair pulling? Or was it considered uncouth? Nuada’s hair did look rather frail, like aged linen, and he doubted the mighty men of Asgard let people pull their hair, despite how tough it looked. Maybe _he_ should do it to them, disgust them with some Jotun ways.

“…Nuada would make a pretty Frostfemme too.” Thrym said, quietly. Loki raised a brow at him, but before he could reply someone cleared their throat. They jumped up and turned at the appearance of their father. Thor looked up at their movement and noted Laufey, but continued when he was doing.

“Do I need to ask you both to refrain from such topics?” Laufey asked under his breath. 

“We weren’t speaking loudly.” Thrym said.

“Mistakes happen,” Laufey grunted irritably, glancing suspiciously at Thor. The three of them watched Thor, and Loki wished they’d come to their senses and call this whole thing off. But his father had other ideas.

“How do you feel?” Laufey grabbed him by the arms and looked over him.

“Sore.” Loki droned irritably. Laufey looked up at him with a raised brow. There was concern in his eyes, but the damage was done and he would not stop this, so it didn't matter to Loki. His father was half way through bartering him off.

“Are you using the salve?”

“Yes, but I won't heal properly like this.” Loki sing-songed with a bite, pulling his arms free, but Laufey just cupped his chin and shook it gently. 

“It's just a week until you can stop. You won't die.” He looked at Thrym, allowing Loki to break free again. “Why are you here?”

“Just helping to ease the tension.” Thrym shrugged, “Sparring. Loki was our support. Or well, Thor’s, sort of.”

Loki scoffed. Laufey gave him a pointed look.

“Did you support him?”

“No.” Loki snorted

Laufey smacked his arm lightly. “Then you'd best start. Thrym come, I won’t be here this evening, I need to visit the guard court in Utgard, you need to finish up my hearing now.”

“Very well,” Thrym sighed, and turned to hug Loki. Loki returned it reluctantly. “See you at dinner, Loki.”

Loki wanted to remind him about the wine, but Laufey was watching him like a predator waiting to strike. He held his tongue and allowed his father to pet his cheek, before the pair walked off. He watched them go, glaring at his father’s form. He folded his arms and slowly turned back to Thor. The Aesir was done now, dressed as they found him that late morning and approaching Loki with careful steps, as though he was prone to running.

Loki stood at his tallest, and kept his gaze firm.

“Has something happened?” Thor asked, glancing off behind him.

“Father needed him.” Loki said.

Thor nodded. They stood in an awkward silence for the next couple moments. Thor had more trouble looking at him than he did Thor, it made Loki feel smug, whether it was guilt or contempt. Thor had no problem looking at Thrym, Loki would’ve liked to think it was guilt, but that was unlikely. He probably just didn’t know what to do with him outside the bed.

“Shall we eat?” Thor blurted.

Loki frowned. 

“Lunch?” Thor added.

Having lunch? Well, at the very most it would keep Thor’s attention off him. 

Loki struggled to verbalise his agreement, and turned to the nearest lurking servant to fetch them lunch. They settled by a nearby balcony with its table mostly intact. There was rarely time for little romantic lunch breaks in the palace. Loki had never found a use for these spots before, no one ever used them. Apparently they were built on the palace because one of the queens a few millennia ago was obsessed with Vanaheimr, and their castles had these balconies that overlooked the best of their land. The queen had wanted the same. Jotuns were not particularly romantic to make use of them, and they were far too small to fit a handful of Jotun for lunch. But it seemed a perfect fit right now.

The servants must have been waiting for a prompt as lunch arrived in record time, Loki was grateful for the distraction. When he looked at the food he found he had no appetite, and looking back at Thor, he knew he wouldn’t attain one. 

Thor served himself well, he seemed to favour the meats and breads. He filled his mug with ale, and filled one for Loki. He passed it over, and noticed Loki hadn’t touched the food.

“Are you not hungry?”

“No,” Loki mumbled. He took the ale though, it was light and tasty, he’d sip on that to keep his hands occupied. Thor didn’t try to convince him to eat and dug into his serving enthusiastically. Loki chose to count the threads on his clothing. 

After devouring half his plate, Thor spoke up. “My friend Fandral says he’d gladly take my place if he could.” 

Loki looked up slowly. “I’m sorry?”

“You haven’t met them have you? The Warrior Three and Lady Sif. They attended the trials.” Thor said, almost happily. There was an attempt of a playful smile on his face, but it just made Loki frown more. “Fandral said he envies me.”

One of Thor’s men said they envy him? At what, having the permission to rape Laufey’s son? And the chance at owning him for the rest of his life? Oh yes, sounded very Asgardian. “…Is he the one with yellow hair all over like you?” Loki asked, his gut bringing up a particular face. Thor brightened.

“Yes! He was—how did you know?”

“Just a guess.” Loki muttered, and recalled those alien eyes filled with what was now definitely confirmed as lust. Disgusting. Sparring and fucking their whores obviously didn’t sate the Aesir, they wanted their victories squirming and reluctant, whether on the battlefield or bed.

Thor didn’t prompt for a better answer, and continued to shovel down the food heartily at a rate that rivalled the Jotun. Loki sipped slowly, thoughtfully, trying unsuccessfully to drift away for the remainder of the day. Thrym was gone, he was on his own. Laufey probably took him away on purpose. 

“My friends would like to visit some time, they’d be honoured to meet you.” 

Loki couldn’t help raising a slim brow at Thor, nearing sarcasm.

“They’re my good friends, and should we…should we have to marry, they’ll be good friends to you too.”

That was highly doubtful. One of them wanted to fuck him, the woman seemed to despise him, and the other two he couldn’t predict. Thor seemed to be trying to convince him though, waiting for some sort of reply, his smile wavering.

“Okay.” He said, and looked away.

Thor frowned, and looked at his food as if it would have a better answer.

“Sif wishes to spar with you.” He then blurted, making Loki jump. 

“Who?” Loki asked, frowning.

“Sif. My lady friend.” Thor amended, “She is a mighty warrior herself, she would be a fun spar. Thrym was a joy to challenge, I’m sure you could find a good match in Sif. She is far more skilled than expected.”

Loki frowned at the request. He really did not want to get to know Thor’s friends, he didn’t care what Thor or his wench wanted. And weren’t they involved in some way? Would Thor let his woman spar with a Jotun, warrior or not? If she got hurt that would be only her fault.

“Is that wise? What if injury is sustained?” Loki asked, seriously.

“It’s just a spar, there’ll be no need for blood drawing.” Thor chuckled.

Maybe not in the general sense, but with her clear hatred and his mood swings, someone might lose an arm. Maybe that was her reasoning for the request… Fine, but he was not going to be the one losing an arm.

“…Very well.” Loki nodded apathetically.

Thor smiled brightly, unaware of Loki’s thoughts. “Wonderful.”

They were silent once more. In the next while Thor finished off his helping and emptied his second mug, as Loki did his first. Thor belched, patting his stomach contentedly, and stared out at the mountainous side of the land.

“…I apologise for hurting you.” Thor said, suddenly.

Loki stiffened painfully, and watched him with narrowed eyes.

Thor continued, his eyes anywhere but Loki. “That was not my intention.” He said it as if it were the honest truth, as though if someone where to disbelieve him then that was their problem. Loki didn’t believe him. With all Thor’s stories, one would think he knew how to fuck without leaving a bloody trail of partners. 

‘ _You’re not a sweet little maiden_ ,’ the voice whispered. ‘ _why wouldn’t he leave you bloody_.’

Loki pointedly chose not to answer, and looked the other way.

Thor said nothing more.

***

Dinner was as horrid an affair as it was a relief. Laufey was still absent thanks to an emergency in the town due to the rebels. He left Thrym incharge, took his guard with and they went off to sort the matter. 

And being in charge meant he could order whatever he wanted, and that happened to be what Loki wanted.

Thrym's boisterous revelry chased away his other brothers and the members of the court to bed early from dinner, leaving him and Loki, and the two foreign princes left at the table. Thrym was in a happy mood, and filled the table with Jötunheimr’s finest drink, which Thor dove into with him. They laughed and spoke at top of their voices and made plans for the future.

“WHEN I'M KING, THOR, WE'LL PLAN ONE DAY A MONTH TO THIS—”

“AYE, BUT WHEN I'M KING, WE'LL DO THIS ANY DAY—”

Loki sat besides Thrym quietly and swallowed down as much drink as he could. With no elder to reprimand him and Thrym he drank as much as possible, and prayed to each glass before chugging it down that it helped keep away the babies and maybe knocked him out after two seconds in bed. Thrym hadn’t let him down, he was grateful, and made good use of the liquor. He drank even the bitter beer, determined to ruin his body and mind for the night.

His drinking ended up rivalling the others, and Thor grinned at him from across the table.

“Loki, I didn't know you could drink so well.” he said, swaying lightly as the foreign drink polluted his system

“We won't tell father,” Thrym said in a loud whisper, leaning towards Loki. In his state he leaned a little too far and Loki had to shove him away for space, but caught sight of Nuada a few chairs down, just watching him quietly.

Nuada didn't seem to be drinking with them. Instead he was picking at his food and sipping his tiny goblet of wine. He stared at Loki, making him uneasy with the heavy thought evident in his eyes.

Loki looked away uncomfortably, and threw back another mug. 

“This drink is strong.” Thor squinted at the jugs that still had liquid in them, his beard wet, his eyes going red.

“JUST LIKE US.” Thrym bellowed proudly, making Loki jump as he banged his fist on the table. Thor roared his agreement and they toasted loudly, knocking beer everywhere. Loki had to keep brushing the pooling liquid away from him, he didn’t want his bed to stink like beer more than it already would.

Unable to help it, his eyes strayed to Nuada. The Elf looked extremely irritable, and glared openly at the younger princes. They didn’t seem to notice, it was as if they didn’t know he was there.

Loki felt irritable himself, he was not one to be rowdy, but while there was still drink and no one was stopping him, he was going to indulge. He knew Nuada was watching him again, but he really couldn't care. He filled his next glass and threw it back, listening to Thrym and Thor roar their approval at his participation.

Nuada now looked sad.

Loki couldn't fathom why. Maybe he wanted to be the one to experience him drunk? Loki wondered what mating would feel like drunk. Maybe it wouldn't hurt at all. Maybe he wouldn't feel Thor manhandling him. Maybe it would feel good, like it did with Nuada? Why did it feel so good with Nuada? It should be Nuada's turn tonight...Always felt good with him… Lots of scratches, the scratches was nice…nice nice nice

“Prince Thrym, your father is returning,” A servant said, appearing almost from nowhere under the bustle.

Loki had never seen two grown men jump up so fast in his life. The table rattled and goblets fell everywhere, spilling drink to the floor. Nuada’s plate jumped half way to meet his face and Loki got a lap full of beer anyway. Thrym ordered for the drink to be sent away and the table cleaned of any evidence, calling for more servants and whispering loudly for them not to tell. Thor's beard with matted with drink and his eyes were on their way to becoming as red as a Jotun's, and on top of that they both looked like they needed a third leg to be able to stand still. The servants shared amused looks at one another but said nothing as they hurried to clean up.

“Loki,” Thor said, and Loki sunk in his seat as Thor appeared and leaned over him, “Let's go before your father finds us.” 

He didn’t give Loki a chance to reply and grabbed his arm and pulled him out the seat. Loki reached for another quick fix of wine, tripping around his and Thor’s feet, when he caught a last glance at Nuada, pity now displayed upon his face.

 _Pity_? Loki didn't want anyone's _pity_. 

With a snarl on his lips Loki looked around for Thrym, craving one last hug, but his brother was at the far end of the hall, and Thor was pulling him away. Thor had a grip on his wrist, his palm large and hot. It was uncomfortably firm but Loki was too dazed to complain. He gave up on Thrym and ignored Nuada, and trudged along after Thor. They both swayed, though Thor did so with a practiced step as he tried to seek out their destination. Loki kept silent, looking around at the wandering guards they passed with tired eyes. Thor got lost at least twice before they made it in the right direction, but there was an obstacle.

It was Helblindi.

When he didn’t move out the way Thor realised he wasn’t a guard or a servant, and took a moment to look into his eyes. Loki pulled lightly to free his wrist, staring at Helblindi as well. 

The giant glared at Thor for a few strange seconds before turning his eyes on Loki. Loki swallowed as if on command and stepped a place back, feeling a little heavier with Helblindi’s gaze.

“Please move.” Thor grunted, gesturing to the side.

Helblindi snorted at him. “I don’t take orders from you.”

“ _Move_.” Thor repeated as if Helblindi were stupid. The Jotun bristled, glancing at Loki. He looked at him up and down, and it was evident where his thoughts were. Loki suddenly felt twice as vulnerable.

A beat passed and Helblindi remained. Thor growled, and let go of Loki to push at Helblindi’s chest. “I said—”

Loki shrieked as Helblindi grabbed Thor by the hair and hit him into the wall, dropping him with disgust straight after. Thor hit the floor with a loud grunt, and swore colourfully, but he was too drunk to retaliate, and rolled onto his back as he held his forehead. Loki’s eyes were wide now and he staggered back, but Helblindi caught him and he shrieked again.

“Be quiet, Loki!” the Jotun stressed as he drew Loki towards him, “Do you _want_ this beast to touch you?” he asked angrily, cupping Loki’s chin. 

“Let go of me!” Loki choked, and squirmed violently. Helblindi matched his efforts and pulled him away from Thor, trying his best to cover Loki’s mouth. Loki struggled as best he could until Helblindi clamped a hand on the back of his neck and forced him to lean over and stare at the floor. A sharp jolt of fright and arousal shot down his spine and his legs shook, and Helblindi took the chance to lift him off the ground. He spun Loki and dropped him over his shoulder. The move knocked the air from his stomach and he gasped for breath, then screamed as Thor came hurtling at them. By some luck he managed to evade any of Thor’s bulk and slipped off Helblindi’s shoulder as they went down. He scrambled back to his feet and took off running in a random direction. He didn’t get far before he knocked into a group of guards, who obviously heard his screaming.

As soon as they saw the two brawling the guards shouted and rushed to separate them. One guard remained with Loki and took a short look at him. Loki just managed to recognise him as Hrímnir, he’d been a faithful guard since Loki’s childhood.

“My prince, are you hurt?”

Loki was still panting for breath, so he shook his head before taking a moment to actually find out. Hrímnir moved in front of him as the guards broke up the fight, dragging a spitting Helblindi away. Thor was on his feet again, looking far more pissed off than Loki wanted to see him. He almost wished he let Helblindi carry him off.

“Loki is here,” Hrímnir said as Thor looked around for him. Loki shot Hrímnir a glare he didn’t see, and steeled himself as Thor marched over and grabbed his wrist again. Thor had a red mark on his cheek from their brawl, but otherwise he looked fine.

“Come.” Was all he said before dragging Loki off, his steps far more steady now as if he had been playing drunk. Loki threw the guards a pleading glance but they could nothing.

Without ceremony Thor pushed him all the way to the bed, making up for his shaking legs. He resisted slightly but his limbs were heavy and he staggered forward, falling hands first onto the bed. Thor grabbed his thighs and with no effort lifted him onto the bed. Loki failed to crawl forward enough with his hands and collapsed down onto his chest, his arms trapped beneath him as Thor shoved his lower body onto the bed and climbed on behind him.

The introduction tonight so impersonal and callous it actually stung. Nuada had been nibbling on him before they reached the bed, and made sure he was settled before taking his pleasure.

Pity... _Was_ it pity he saw on Nuada? If he cared so much why didn't he just make it stop? If Nuada cared so much why didn't he just _help_? Why didn't he just leave him alone at night too? Why did he bother to make the mating bearable? What was he trying to accomplish? What even why oh gods his head was spinning.

The world was swimming and his head started to ache, but not worse than his stomach that was full of nothing but alcohol. It tightened and Loki moaned sickly into the fur, and looked back tiredly as Thor pushed aside his skirts and fumbled with his pants. His big hands slipped more times than he was successful and he grunted irritably before managing to release himself, already hardening. He leaned a hand on Loki's backside as he swayed and started to stroke himself. His thumb ended up crammed between Loki’s cheeks but it didn’t seek out his hole, he was far more focused on preparing himself.

Still watching, though it hurt his neck, Loki tormented himself and stared as Thor spat a few times thickly into his hand and smeared it over his cock until it glistened, thrusting into his fist, rubbing the head with his thumb until he was stiff and throbbing. The sight was horrid knowing that thing was going to tear him up, but perverse as well through the influence of the drink. Loki's own cock twitched but he was too drunk to be aroused, and he didn't stiffen.

Thor however, thought his panting and groaning was arousal, and pushed his cock between Loki's cheeks and started rutting the same instant, but the angle was awkward. He lifted Loki’s hips and tried again, quickly finding his way. He forced through the tight ring and Loki screamed, and as quickly as the pain was there, it numbed—until the next jab. Each thrust hurt until Thor was pressing his pelvis against his cheeks. Loki groaned loudly in the back of his throat and jerked forward out of instinct, fumbling weakly to pull up his hands, but Thor pressed his palms into his lower back and lost himself in a good drunken fuck—which he was _very_ good at.

Loki supposed it was easier for him too, to be intoxicated and let your body dictate your actions. The pain subsided faster this time, whether from the drink or from his body finally becoming used to being invaded, and he lay limp as Thor held his hips up and ploughed into him like he was nothing but his hand. With the heavy weight holding down his body it was easier not to resist, or to even think it. Loki couldn't think. He couldn't see at all now thanks to Thor's rocking, he was too tired to see.

Slower than when Nuada took him, he grew wet from the glide and it aided the thrusts substantially. Thor seemed to notice and groaned his approval. He was making the most obscene sounds, making Loki shiver beneath him. Loki couldn’t see, his eyes were closed now, but he could hear Thor above him, humming and moaning around the clapping of their hips. He could only imagine what he’d see if he was on his back, and decided it was best Thor took him like this, from behind.

Then Thor grabbed beneath his thighs from the back and lifted them apart so his knees angled outwards. Loki's hips dropped and Thor's cock popped out, making them both moan at the feeling and the sound of it slapping up against Thor's belly. Thor pushed his own knees out to lie on top of him, his own limbs shaking from the adrenaline. He leaned on his elbows, circled his hips until the head caught and snapped back in.

The position, to Thor, reminded him of his rendezvous with his Asgardian lovers. Loki was pressed down so Thor didn't have to instinctively look for those missing breasts and his backside was round enough to fool Thor's drunken mind into genuinely enjoying himself, feeling the taunt flesh jump with each snap of his hips.

Loki struggled to breathe as Thor laid over him, fucking the air from his lungs and compressing him so he couldn't take in more. The position made it more difficult to remain relaxed even with the alcohol, Thor’s forehead was on the back of his head, his beard scratching at his back. It was a little too close for Loki to endure, he felt like he was going to suffocate. Thankfully it didn’t last much longer, Thor seemed satisfied and lost himself in the sensations until he came hard, pushing his member in as far as it could go and splashing Loki’s insides.

They moaned together, panting in equal measure and everything became less frenzied. It was easy to feel when he was released into, and after the frenzied fucking Thor's cum was hot as it coated his intestines, seeping in, searching deep…

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> There are two more nights before the test for pregnancy arrives.


	12. Nuada Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki explodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thanks to the sweety that anon messaged me on tumblr, whoever you are. I am fine thanks, I’m back, and thank you for caring ^_^ <3 <3
> 
> I heartily apologize for errors.
> 
>  

**Chapter 12: Nuada Day 3**

When Loki woke up the next morning, his foul mood rivalled that of the previous day. 

He woke on his side, drooling into his pillow. His mouth tasted foul, his head was heavy, and his stomach uneasy. The slightest shift sent pains up his entrance and throughout his back, his thigh muscles vibrating minutely. He moaned thickly as he tried to squirm onto his back, his left shoulder asleep. Eventually his eyes creaked open, and he greeted the ceiling with disdain.

After a delayed moment he looked besides him with fleeting dread, but for naught as Thor was gone. And if he thought the room smelt like sex yesterday, today was even worse.

Loki swore under his breath as he fought to sit up without aggravating the pain in his backside. He adjusted himself a few times before he could sit without putting painful pressure on his entrance, and shifted apart his legs to scratch away the bits of release dried to his skin. He brushed aside his skirt, having forgotten he still had it on. He blinked wearily at the door, and wondered what time of morning it was.

His scratching came to an irritable stop as his temples pounded with a horrendous headache. His stomach was doing flips and no amount of digging his knuckles into his temples cured it. He felt sick, tired, and weak. Yesterday he could’ve sworn the drink was his best solution—he wasn’t sure anymore.

Fuck Thor. Fuck the drink. And fuck Thrym. And fuck himself for joining them.

Oh wait, Thor already did that.

And fuck Nuada and his looks, as if he felt sorry for him. Was it pity, or had he been disappointed? His maybe-Jotun queen drinking himself into a haze like a cheap commoner and going to bed with the Odinson. Maybe he wanted class from a wife, delicate polite gestures. Maybe he could just go fuck himself.

“Fucking fucked up fucking shit…” Loki trailed off angrily, turned to lie on his side again. He curled up among the furs, and spotted the cleansing tools on a nearby table. His skin itched on queue, and his stomach added its opinion with a needy grumble, both begging in union for him to get up and see to them. If he wasn’t so stiff and angry he might have, but spite kept him like dead weight, staring off blankly as he inhaled Thor’s scent from the bedding. 

He didn’t know how long he lay in bed, it could’ve been a few minutes, or a few hours. His hunger never decreased nor did his anger wane, and he remained conscious, staring, thinking.

Eventually, some time later when the door finally creaked open, Loki was glad that Thor had taken him with his clothes still on. He was clothed, so remained where he was rather than scrambling to cover his filthy body. Jotuns didn't bother for much clothing but they did show some thought to their nakedness after mating. His skirt covered anything dire he felt. Or at least it better, because he couldn’t care right now.

He cracked open his tired eyes to glare at the intruder, then cracked them wider when Nuada peeked in. Immediately Loki wished he had grabbed the furs, but he couldn’t understand why.

The Elf prince hovered at the door as he looked at Loki carefully, and entered slowly, closing the door before he was properly inside to keep anyone from walking past and getting an eye full of Loki's bare thighs and the shape of his backside.

Nuada approached cautiously, clasping his fingers as he neared the bed. “Loki, are you well? Your father sent me to rouse you.”

It must have been late for Nuada to actually seek him out, how long had he remained in bed? Why didn’t Thrym come? Was this a punishment? Why couldn’t they wait? Where could he run off to? They were now invading his room during the day, he was losing every bit of freedom and personal space he had. What was next, bending him over the dining table?

“...Am I supposed to apologise?” Loki replied thickly, and ignored the pain as forced himself to sit up.

Nuada frowned. “For what, dear heart?”

Oh Loki just wanted to punch his calm facade. Punch that face and give him a few more scars and just- _just_ -ARGH. “Father could have sent a servant, he could have sent Thrym, he could have come himself, but he sent _you_ , clearly to pass a subtle hint. What do you think it is, _Prince Nuada_? It is barely midday and he's sending you into my room. You want to fuck? Huh? Does he want you to fuck me? Well come then! I'm already soiled and bedridden, that should make it easier!”

Loki's hard voice ended in an enraged yell, breaking at the end. He was seething, frothing at the mouth and leaning forward with grit teeth. His reaction seemed to have startled Nuada and he stood frozen, his mouth open in silent words. Loki took the gap to continue pouring his frustration and pain out on the only person he didn't realise he felt safe to do with. “Well? What? Come fuck me! Get it over with so I don't have to spend the entire day dreading it! I just want to fucking rest!” 

He didn’t want to, but Loki started to cry, enduring angry tears that hardened down his cheeks. He was panting furiously, starting to sob miserably as the pain and hunger finally got to him. He wanted to lie back down and cry until the pain stopped or he died, but he also wanted to give the bastard a piece of his mind. All of them!

Then Nuada tried to reach for him, swallowing. Loki kicked his legs to ward him off and pushed himself further up the bed, raising a warning hand.

“Don't touch me! Don't-! ...Don't touch me.” he rasped through his teeth.

“Loki, I am so sorry.” Nuada breathed, and stared down at Loki as if he waiting for him to attack.

“No, you're not.” Loki said, firmly, and made sure to stare down the Elf with an unnerving look. He was shaking, leaning back on his right palm. His legs were parted, his skirt gathered between them.

Nuada placed his hands on his chest. He looked concerned, but it could very well be false for all Loki knew. “I _am_. If Odin hadn't—…this was supposed to be so different, _so_ different. But you must be strong.”

“Don't talk to me about being strong!” Loki screamed. He looked at Nuada in shock—how could he talk about being strong? What did he know? “You are not having your life ripped from you every night! Like you mean nothing.” he broke off into a sob, but tried to stifle it by biting his lip.

Despite Loki's repellence Nuada stepped closer, his face contorting with hurt, and his chest welling with anger at Asgard. “You mean everything.” he said as convincingly as he could.

Loki couldn't argue. His face crumpled and he finally gave in to the need to collapse. He turned on his side and lay down, immediately moaning as his muscles relaxed, and continued to try stifle his crying. He was just so angry, so sore, so trapped, and if he was punished for this he couldn't give a damn, he was already hurting enough. His stomach continued to grumble, making him feel nauseas once again.

With a heavy heart Nuada got down on his knees besides Loki's bed and hung his head. He wanted so desperately to reach out but each movement he made sent Loki jumping in fright.

After a while of silence, Loki had calmed down, and watched as Nuada appeared to lament. He took a deep breath through the nose.

“...Come, do this now. I want to sleep later.” Loki mumbled irritably. If they did this now in the morning—or midday he honestly was taking guesses—he could maybe sleep tonight, a full night without fresh aches. Not that Nuada gave him any, but still…

Then suddenly Nuada was on his feet and backing away with a thoughtful look in his eyes. Loki leaned up a little to frown at him. 

“...I can sacrifice one day for you. And I will leave you to your privacy.” Nuada said and turned to leave, but panic choked Loki.

“No!” 

Nuada stopped, and looked at him sadly. Loki swallowed, regretting, but if his father heard about this, he’d never hear the end of it in return. He could suffer through Nuada. “Father won't allow it, he'll send you back.”

“Then we don't tell him.” Nuada said simply.

“He'll know! Someone will tell him.”

Nuada shook his head, and looked uncomfortable. “I do not wish to take you like this, it is wrong.”

“Just because I didn't push you off before does not mean I was willing. I have no choice. My father— _our_ fathers—took that from me. It's been wrong since that first night.”

“...You never cried then.” Nuada said, and left.

Loki stared at the closing door, but didn't try to call him back.

He sat for a few disbelieving moments, until he was sure Nuada wasn’t tricking him. When it became evident he was truly alone, he glanced at the cleaning utensils, and decided to clean up. He didn’t _want_ to be covered in Thor all day, and cursed himself for not doing it earlier and wasting all that time.

With great concentration Loki summoned a double, and flicked his wrist lazily. “Bring that to me.”

The clone obeyed without hesitance and brought the tools to him. The clone placed the tray on a table besides the bed and immediately soaked the cloth in water before squeezing it out and handing it to Loki. Loki took it and wiped his face, humming at the cool feeling. He wiped his face and neck clean, before edging off the bed entirely and allowing his clone to remove his clothes. For the next while they worked together silently, stripping him of all the dirt. He applied the salve today, after subtle prompting from the clone.

Once redressing and feeling a little more energetic, Loki found himself wondering why Nuada just hadn't taken his offer, when with a frantic squeal he flew to where his potion sat hidden. He still had no idea what time it was and gulped it down desperately. Had he taken it too late in the day? There was no taking chances or speculating, and in a fit of panic threw down a second. His stomach burned ferociously for the next while to the point that it worried him, but it was worth it. This was all worth it. He'd be free...he would...wouldn't he?

Loki cursed himself for not getting up earlier, and had the clone remove the bedding before crawling back on and curling up. As he sunk down, the clone disappeared, and he moaned into the bed and relaxed. He curled into a foetus position and hugged his middle tightly as the burning spread, and remained as such for the remainder of the day. Loki slipped in and out of sleep every so often, dreaming eerily of chains and green waves.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

There was little Nuada could do to pass the time that didn’t involve shredding the air. There was no one to speak to, his link with his sister was not quite direct enough, and entrusting a Jotun elder was still too early a possibility. And talking to Laufey was definitely out of the question, Loki would probably skin them all, if Laufey didn’t skin him first. 

He hadn’t known such tension resided in the relationship between Loki and his father. That would do nothing but make the situation worse. Loki’s outburst had him wishing to seek counsel with another, and being unable to have it felt a little dampening to say the least. Thus he could only imagine how Loki felt being unable to speak to his own father about everything he was going through; Nuada’s blight was a wisp in comparison. At the very least Loki had Thrym, which was a small miracle.

Consoling Loki was something he’d have to do the next time he saw him, or at the very least, getting him to express properly what he felt. He had a few ideas, but Loki was unpredictable yet.

It was late in the morning when he stopped his idle practicing. It wasn’t distracting him well enough, but he hadn’t the patience to sit down and read the material he brought with. A Jotun servant gladly aided him in freshening up and putting right everything that was used. He was sure he gained a few sultry looks too, but kindly remained oblivious.

He was headed back to his rooms when he came across Thor. 

Just what had the bastard done to Loki last night? It wasn’t his place to interrogate or scold him, but his temper wasn’t going to hold forever. He wasn’t sure he could keep a conversation without passing an insult.

The Aesir was leaning over a table in a common room, mumbling to himself. He was occupied with a mug and a fat jug that smelt of beer. Mjölnir sat on the floor at his feet, and if she could have a mood, Nuada thought she seemed put-off.

He slowed as he passed by, and Thor looked up. He straightened somewhat when he recognised his company, and seemed to think twice of hiding his drink. He had a slightly surprised look on his face.

“Prince Nuada.” 

“A little early to be consuming, is it not, Odinson?” 

Thor snorted. “Not if you’re Asgardian.”

Nuada reined in a sneer. “Yes, so wondrous are the limitless revelries of the Aesir.”

“Why aren’t you with Loki?” Thor asked bluntly, obnoxiously, before taking a swig.

“That would be our business.” 

“Then so is my consumption.”

Nuada raised his brows in silent amusement at the shot and looked to the side to declare his surrender. In doing so he spotted Mjölnir, and looked up at Thor with his eyes. He cocked a sassy brow. “May I?”

Thor stared through him for a few heated seconds, and gave him a once over, then a grudging nod. “…Treat her with care.”

Not needing to be told, Nuada leaned over and grasped the firm handle, then relaxed his fingers and felt along her shaft, tracing out her designs. He paused before lifting her up into the light, Thor watching his every move as if he intended to break her—which was impossible anyhow. “I am sure by now you have seen that I treat all I behold with care. This is a well crafted tool, made by the dwarves, yes?”

“Brokkr and Sindri.” Thor confirmed, sipping idly now.

“I half expected you to have forgotten their names, so insignificant is all compared to you,” Nuada muttered, and ignored the frown. He gave a few light swings. “She is weighty.”

“Not to me.” 

“Evidently.” Nuada placed Mjölnir down tenderly, giving her owner a sharp look. “I should hope the reverence you show her is shared amongst your neighbours. It is easy to hold that which we already desire, that is no success.”

Thor stared at him for a moment, before raising his own brows. “Are you passing hints at me?”

Nuada placed his hands behind his back as he turned and walked away. “Seeing as no one else wishes to pass anything at you, I thought I might. Good day.” 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Loki successfully managed to remain in his quarters all day. That evening Thrym finally arrived, and he frowned worriedly as he slipped in the room and stood over Loki. 

“Loki? Are you okay?” 

Loki stared wearily at him, and took long enough to answer that Thrym placed a hand on his forehead. Loki swatted it away half heartedly. “No. ...What do you want?”

“Father said he saw Nuada training on his own today, who apparently said you needed time alone. It's almost dinner, you missed a whole day with Nuada. Balor won't be happy.” Thrym looked down at Loki with careful eyes, tracing him for the injuries. 

Loki glared up at his brother. Where had he been all day? Laufey probably sent him off again, on purpose. “...Does awkward conversation create a child?”

“...No?” 

“Then you can all back off. I haven't skipped out on tonight, have I?”

“No, but you need to get to know these men. It might decrease the awkwardness. Now get up, let’s get some food in you.”

The idea of food made his stomach peak with interest, but it had been burnt to ashes and tightened painfully. Still, he knew he needed to eat or his father would have him embarrassingly force fed. 

“Where were you today?” Loki asked grumpily as he got up, batting away Thrym’s hands. He struggled to get off the bed, and looked away with burning cheeks when Thrym had to lift him and place him down.

“Utgard,” Thrym said shortly, frowning rather as he felt Loki’s skin. “Loki, you’re hot.”

“I’m fine,” Loki said distractedly as he pulled away. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, look at me,” Thrym pulled Loki back, and cupped his chin. Loki whined and turned away, his stomach giving a loud rumble. “What happened with Helblindi yesterday?”

Loki stopped squirming and looked at him. He hadn’t even spared a thought to that, he hadn’t remembered it at all until now. What _had_ happened last night? What had Helblindi been trying to do? He hit Thor, and tried to make off with him, surely he was in trouble now. What could have made him do that? Anger? Desperation? Would he try such a thing again? Why did he even? 

“I don’t know.” He breathed honestly.

Thrym looked concerned, and gave him a last look over. “Helblindi’s been sent to serve in the town’s guard until you—…until this is over.” Thrym then took his hand, and led him out.

The thought somehow didn’t make Loki feel any safer like it was supposed to. Helblindi was probably upset about his mating with the princes, enough so that he would try sabotage it, and against Thor too. Helblindi would probably mate him the first chance he got, but a little voice kept whispering ‘ _Wouldn’t it be better_?’ 

If he mated one of the warriors he wouldn’t have to leave home, he wouldn’t have to endure strangers’ using his body, and life would return to almost normal. It was hard not to admit, but maybe mating to Helblindi would be best, babies were inevitable but at least he’d be surrounded by his family and people. By familiarity.

Loki was conflicted.

At the dinner table, Laufey didn't look happy to see him. Thor looked quieter than usual and Nuada looked distracted. There were a few of Laufey’s brothers present, and everyone took their turn to stare through Loki. Thrym greeted them and led Loki to his seat, where he sat quietly and ignored his father’s glare. The chatting started up again and Thrym did his best to cheer the air and keep the attention from Loki as they took their food.

But Laufey was king of their land, and when he spoke, everyone shut their mouths, including Thrym. 

“Nuada, I trust you are enjoying your stay?” Laufey asked, staring down said prince with a hard expression. Loki sipped his warm broth slowly, staring into the bowl and wondering if it was possible to drown in it. His skin pimpled from an internal shiver as the table’s occupants looked between him and Nuada.

Across the table Nuada gave Laufey a sure smile, the action reaching his eyes. “Exceptionally, your highness.”

“Loki has been hospitable?” Laufey asked, pointedly, and Loki looked up immediately. He was guilty, he knew it, and made it clear by his reaction. He fought to avoid his father’s gaze, but it was no less difficult to stare at Nuada, waiting for his damning words.

But Nuada bowed his head lightly. “With the utmost grace.”

Loki’s shoulders fell slightly, but he continued to stare, now with a small frown.

“Good. Are you feeling better Loki? Do you need another healer?”

Loki stared openly at Nuada, his face blank with confusion. The Elf stared back, quietly—it seemed Laufey was ignorant to Loki’s row that morning. Then Nuada inclined his expression in a way that asked for an answer. Loki hesitated, and glanced at his father nervously. “I'm fine. It's just fatigue.”

Thor never said a word as multiple eyes fell on him. He ate his food with more care today, looking stiff and bothered. No one said anything to him, and Loki wondered then if Laufey also didn’t know about their liquor escapade last night. Thor didn’t acknowledge him either, but he preferred it that way.

Then suddenly Thor was on his feet, striding away. The table stared after him, and Laufey put a comforting hand on Loki’s back. He then petted the back of his head, a forced movement. “Very well. And should a situation like last night with Helblindi happen again, you need to alert the guards.”

“Okay…” Loki mumbled, and went back to tending to his stomach. The broth was nice and soothing.

“Nuada, why wait until your middle age to take a wife?” Laufey asked, clearly trying to make up for Loki’s lack of conversation skills. Again the table looked up for a reply, for it had always been an odd concept to Jotuns who bred earlier rather than later.

Loki peeked up at Nuada, studying his face for signs of age. If Nuada was truly that much older than them then it was no surprise why he didn't act the way Thor and Thrym did. Nuada was a man, while they were all just boys, Loki included. It gave him the strangest combination of feeling vulnerable and yet monitored, _almost_ safe.

“It was my father’s doing, at first. He made sure I stayed focus and mastered what a man needs to before dallying in such topics. On Álfheimr a husband's worth is determined by his skills and accomplishments, not his strength or his status. While I am already a worthy candidate as crown prince it's only right I excel in everything I can before taking a bride, that way I have more to offer. That's why Álfheimr and Niðavellir are the skills centre of the realms, it is our custom.”

“I am impressed,” Laufey said, sounding very much so. The table murmured in agreement.

“The only thing I am not very good in is magic.” Nuada continued. Loki looked up from his broth again. “I am not blessed with magical inheritance.” Laufey looked pointedly at Loki for a response, a praise, _something_ , but Nuada saved him from mouthing like a fish. “But we can't excel in everything, everyone has weak points.”

“I wonder what Thor's weak point is.” Laufey wondered out aloud.

“His confidence.” Nuada murmured softly, but without a bite for it would cause trouble. The table chuckled their agreement.

Laufey snorted into his drink, “Can't argue there.” He then hummed in thought, making Nuada look up. “How are you and Thrym getting along? I hear he and Thor are doing well, considering Thor's attitude.”

“Thrym will be a good king one day,” Nuada said thoughtfully, smiling kindly at Thrym. “His playfulness will calm, it will not disable his ability to rule. I enjoy his company, when there is no drink flowing by.”

Laufey laughed, seemingly oblivious to the night before, and Loki quietly caught Nuada’s gaze. Being a _man_ , Nuada must have been irritated by the childish acts of Thrym and Thor. Loki was too, but he would have been more so had he not lost his conscious with them. Thrym shifted nervously, probably regretting his decision, but Laufey said nothing condemning. 

“Good, I'm glad there is no strife. The realms are too far for petty feuds.”

Loki resisted rolling his eyes, and focused back on finishing his broth. A full stomach would be good tonight, it might ease the pain and give him strength.

“I couldn't agree more, my king.” Nuada said, and they toasted to it.

After a small while longer of political conversation Laufey led them away from the table. “Well then, Nuada, Loki, allow me to escort you to bed.” 

Laufey purposely slung his arm around Loki and pulled him along so he couldn't stall. Thrym gave Loki a sad smile in parting, remaining where he was. The walk was stiff and uncomfortable, Loki supposed his father wanted to escort them safely to bed. Safety this, safety that. The true safety had already been compromised.

Laufey kissed Loki on the forehead when they reached his room. “Goodnight, child.”

“G'night.” Loki said, softly, and turned into the room. He saw that the room was clean, and even smelt clean again.

He heard Nuada say his good nights and then the door closed. Without waiting to be prompted, and so that he didn't have to hear Nuada speak, he pulled off his clothes and threw them aside. He wanted this to be over quickly, Nuada knew that. Once he was naked he made for the bed, but strong arms circled around his waist and pulled him back into Nuada's chest.

The second Nuada curled in his finger nails Loki elbowed him hard in the ribs and spun to glower at him. “How do you do that?!”

Nuada looked shocked, stuck between rubbing his chest and reaching out. “Do what?”

“How-! You know every inch of my body, how to manipulate it-how do you know so much? Thor can't even get me to—...” Loki choked off, and felt his skin burn. Nuada was watching him carefully again, then his handsome features twisted curiously.

“You don't climax with him?” he asked. Loki shifted, blinking hard to keep the frustrated tears away. Eventually he shook his head, wanting Nuada to spill his guts. Surely he had some dirty secret tucked away that was aiding him in his perfect sex. There had to be a catch. 

“...Then why are you angry at me? I'm trying to please you as best I can-”

“I don't want you to!” Loki cried, exasperated. “I _want_ you to neglect me! Hurt me! I don't want it to please me! Thor takes his own pleasure and leaves and I can live with that! But _you_ -! Forcing me to react...!” he trailed off, panting heavily. His fists were clenched and hovering over his breast as he tried to get across his emotions. 

Uncertainty showed on the Elf and he looked down. “...I thought you would appreciate it, Loki.”

“I don't want it. Just do it and let me sleep.” Loki ordered, and was about to turn and bend over the bed when Nuada grabbed his arm.

“Loki, Jotuns have little chance to conceive if they do not climax.”

Loki stared, gobsmacked. He hadn’t known Nuada knew that.

“I have to make you peak, that is how a child will be conceived. I'm sorry...” And he truly was.

This made sense, at least. No wonder Nuada bothered to make him climax too, he knew that was the key to babies. There was the catch. But that meant that Thor didn't know...

“I wasn't going to bother you tonight but your father truly isn't blessed with subtly.” Nuada said, cringing. When Loki still said nothing, stuck in his shock, he pulled Loki closer and rubbed down his arms. “Loki, speak to me. This is not how I wanted to court you. It pains me when I think about Thor coming to you at night.” He was starting to breathe a little harder, and anger flashed in his eyes. Those older, wiser eyes...“...I suppose we are the same to you. I hope I can prove to you one day that I am not looking to hurt you. I am sorry, Loki.”

It was so hard not to believe him. Nuada was holding gently his hands now, kneading his skin and looking desperate to be believed. Loki didn't know what to think, at all. 

“...I don't want to like it. I want to be angry at you, I want to hit you and Thor and my father.” Loki mumbled pathetically.

“Would it make you feel better?” Nuada suddenly said, loudly. He released Loki and tapped his face. “Hit me.”

Loki flinched. “What?”

“Hit me, Loki.”

“I can’t-”

“Loki, hit—”

“I can’t!” Loki shrieked, laughing maniacally as he jumped away as though Nuada burnt him.

“I will not strike you back.” Nuada promised, his face more alive than it had been since he got here.

“I am not afraid of that! I almost beat you in the trials!” Loki hissed stubbornly, but Nuada held his face out equally as stubbornly.

“Then hit me. In any fashion you wish. Hurt me like we’ve hurt you.” he said, and got down on his knees.

Loki gaped down at him. The offer was too shocking to just take up. What mighty prince would just offer that? He stared at Nuada like he was mad, but Nuada looked completely sure and waited for the blow Loki couldn't land. “…I can’t. Father will punish me, it could start a war—”

“Loki no one will know. I humble myself to you. I am putting my well being in your hands like you’ve placed yours in ours. You need to rid yourself of the feelings locked away. _Hit me_.”

That was an order. Loki did not have to obey it, but he was shaking again, and this time he couldn't tell why. Anger? Fright? Excitement?

Slowly, he reached out and touched Nuada's face. It was hard and smooth, and he traces his family lines delicately. Nuada was handsome, he had a calm aura, he was definitely king material. Nuada made no move to back off, and watched him with a burning determination that kept Loki touching him in a far away awe at the possibility of actually hitting him. 

But for once Nuada showed impatience. He took Loki's hand and slapped his face with it. Loki gasped through his nose and jumped, but Nuada held him tight. He tried to pull his wrist free, but Nuada denied him. “I can handle it.” Nuada said, and repeated the action.

Loki's palm stung as the second slap was harder, and he watched in horrified awe as Nuada brought his hand down again, and again, and again over his sharp face, barely flinching, but the effect was evident in the reddening of the left side of his face and the burning in Loki's hand. He forgot that he was completely naked, and Nuada didn't look like he cared either.

Adrenaline began to animate Loki and just as he started to allow himself to move with it, Nuada released him and he slapped him on his own. His heart was pounding up into his throat, his shoulders were tense and his knees buckled as Nuada murmured an encouraging “Yes, Loki.”

Loki steeled himself before he could lose his nerve, repercussions be damned. It was now or never.

He whipped his hand back and slapped Nuada as hard as he could, grunting in effort. Nuada's face turned this time, but he looked back the next second and Loki swung his hand again.

With each slap he grew more and more angry. It travelled from his core all the way to his finger tips, burning beneath his skin, making him feel as though he could fly.

He thought of his father selling him off.

_SLAP_

He thought of Asgard for interfering, even though he wasn't siding with Álfheimr.

_SLAP_

He thought of his failure at eliminating the princes.

_SLAP_

He thought of Thor raping him.

_SLAP_

He thought of Nuada forcing his body to react against his will.

_SLAP_

He thought of his helplessness.

_SLAP_

He thought of his blood and tears and demeaning resorts to foil the kings' plans because no one cared enough to ask his opinion.

Curling his fingers in Loki brought out a hefty punch, successfully breaking Nuada's nose with a satisfying _crack_. Blood splattered down his chin and he fell to one hand, his hair falling like a silky curtain.

Then Loki stopped, and he stared at the red blood dripping onto Nuada's artistically shaped hand. A hand so unlike the Jotun, a hand seen as feminine—

Loki’s body turned back into ice in a flash.

“Prince?” Nuada asked gently, swallowing back the blood in his throat as he turned back up.

“…I’m sorry.” Loki breathed, and stumbled back in horror.

“Do you feel better?” Nuada asked, his lips and chin streaked red.

Loki felt sick. He held his stomach and willed himself not to vomit. “…Your sister.” he choked out.

Nuada's face twitched, and he shook his head, climbing to his feet. “…She will understand. She won’t feel my pain, just the results.”

“No, no that’s not fair on her.” Loki hissed, and backed up until his legs hit the bed. He fell back, but didn't bother to get up. He sat and looked up with watery eyes as Nuada wiped his lips. Then Nuada pressed his fingers against his nose on either side, and with a sharp _snap_ forced the bone back into place. Loki moaned thickly as his stomach swirled and he swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat.

Nuada smiled kindly at him, and continued to wipe away any blood. “You are strong for your young self.” he said, pulling a smirk, but Loki couldn't feel proud about it with Nuala on his mind.

Loki shook his head regretfully. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. Do you feel better?”

Did he? Yes, actually, his chest felt less tight, he wasn't angry anymore and he felt like he just let off some steam as he usually did by sparring. But he didn't have to be honest. “A little.” he mumbled.

Nuada then sat down besides him, leaving a small puddle of blood on the floor. “I don’t mean to be depraved, but you can continue when we mate? You remain far too docile for a Jotun during mating. Hurt me back when I hurt you, emotionally or physically.”

Loki wondered just how much Nuada knew of Jotuns, it seemed there was nothing he could hide. Nuada's familiar attentions during mates were now not such a surprise, Nuada obviously studied well before coming here. As he said, he excelled in as many areas as he could so he could have more to offer his bride, maybe this was one of them. Maybe Nuada just took pride in what he did, maybe he didn’t have an agenda…

 _His bride_...

Tentatively, Nuada cupped Loki's cheek, and just looked into his face. “...You are so beautiful.” 

“...I am male to you.” Loki mumbled, his fight gone and imprinted into Nuada's face. It was a weak argument, but the only one he could conjure in his muddled state.

Nuada smiled like he had a secret. “Yes, but who says I don't find that just as beautiful as a woman?”

Loki hadn't thought of that. He wasn't familiar with the sexual practices of the other realms, all he knew that there were females for the other men of the realms.

“...Why?” Loki asked, helplessly. The question made no sense. He didn't know what he was saying anymore. And Nuada sensed it. Instead of answering he brought Loki's face to his and kissed him gently, kissing his lips in a gentle motion. It made Loki's breath hitch in his throat and very cautiously, he kissed back as Nuada’s fingers curved behind his skull. 

Nuada tasted like wine, blood and midnight. Loki held onto his wrist as Nuada pulled his face closer, and he let go a little more. His tongue wandered out to taste more and Nuada quickly obliged him, sucking briefly on his lips and teasing with his tongue. Nuada’s fingers squeezed the side of his face and they continued until Loki was tense again, and for yet another reason.

With Nuada's words in mind, Loki raked his fingers into Nuada's long beautiful hair and abruptly pulled his head back. The prince grunted, and Loki noted to himself that Nuada’s hair was stronger than he thought. The action sent an odd thrill through him, and he climbed straight into his lap and glued his mouth back onto Nuada's. The other's hands slapped onto his naked hips and kneaded, pulling him close so his cock rested on his stomach. Nuada was still clothed, and Loki decided he wanted to keep it that way. 

Roughly he grabbed a handful of Nuada's shirt and pulled him forward, deepening their kiss and pressing his hips down. His legs were spread perversely and he started grinding, angrily kissing his way into arousal as the nerves around his lips were simulated. Nuada swung an arm around his waist and fastened them as close as possible, then reached back and grabbed hold on Loki's one cheek. 

He was already spread and Loki made a sound in the back of his throat with a pointed roll of his hips. Nuada's fingers moved barely a few inches and they were at his opening, pressing but not entering. The contact made Loki's cock jump and he ground it desperately into Nuada's clothing in the tight grip Nuada held him in. Nuada aided by moving up against him, and pulled back to attack his neck. 

Loki growled angrily at the manipulation, but he tilted his head and pulled tighter on Nuada's clothing, ripping through the fabric. His skin flamed as teeth and tongue assaulted it and he shivered wantonly. Nuada's member was pressing up against him, and he wiggled back against the fingers pressing bluntly against his hole. 

“You make me so angry,” Loki snapped, turning to bite at Nuada's lips.

“Show me how angry.” Nuada dared, biting Loki back. Fresh blood seeped onto their tongues but they didn't bother to find out whose it was and Loki snarled. He stuck his hand between them and pressed it against the bulge in Nuada's pants.

“Take it out.” he ordered.

Nuada didn't hesitate and released himself without a pause. His cock stood proud besides Loki's and he tried to grind them together, but Loki pulled up and leaned on his shoulders as he caught the head behind his balls. Nuada moaned openly and cupped his hands around Loki's buttocks. 

It was too gentle for Loki's mood. Nuada thought he was too docile? He’ll show him.

He grabbed onto Nuada's neck and hoped dearly Nuala didn't feel the sensations, but the results he could live. He leaned over and nipped Nuada's jaw line and used his other hand to scratch down his neck, sending primal thrills through his limbs. It pooled in his belly and he started sitting down, his hands and thighs shaking with his breath. 

Loki moaned his approval when Nuada brought him down a little faster, his entrance leaking and ready. He was so hyped up there was absolutely no pain, he was running on pure adrenaline and ferocity, the need to mate driving his hips down and making his insides soft and pliable. Nuada pushed through smoothly and took Loki's moments of immobility to dip his head and lick at his nipples. He hadn't done that yet, and the result was potent.

Being a Jotun his nipples were as sensitive as a female’s, unlike Aesir and Elven men, and the feeling of Nuada's hard tongue dragging over it sent him screaming. His hips bucked on their own accord, shooting pleasure through him and automatically raising for another thrust, starting a vicious cycle where he rode the prince willingly. 

Nuada held him steady as they were perched on the edge of the bed and suckled on Loki's swollen nipples. One day soon they would grow and fill with milk, and Nuada hoped it would be for his children. The thought urged him to thrust his hips up, but Loki was rocking them both, grunting in short breathes as he took everything offered. His breath was escaping him in the feelings he chased, and one look down at the man feeding off his chest sent his whole being peaking higher than the mountains.

He cried out a voiceless gasp as it overwhelmed him and he bucked desperately into Nuada's lap as he came, ruining Nuada's shirt in the process. But Nuada couldn't have cared less, and suddenly turned and pressed Loki into the bedding.

“You are perfect, Loki Laufeyson.” he breathed, and found purchase before thrusting between Loki's spread legs.

All Loki could do was moan. With his high fading and his body limp, he rocked lightly under the Elf and watched him with small eyes. Nuada stared down at him in return, trying to control his breathing as he snapped his lithe hips. Loki's body took it gladly until he could feel his muscles again, and found them thrusting his hips up. His body started to flare again and he moaned unhappily at the built of another orgasm. He thought a humoured thanks to his earlier self for taking double the potion this morning, as if he had known. He didn't know if it would help anymore than it was or wasn't already doing, and he held onto Nuada until he came hard again, this time feeling warmth coat his inners. Nuada groaned against his chest, holding himself deep in an obvious attempt to strike pregnancy.

Not if Loki could help it.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N One more night before pregnancy test
> 
> Here anyone can lift Mjölnir as Thor was never banished. Whether or not Nuada could lift it under Odin’s enchantment is personal opinion, you can decide that, though probably not with his attacks against humans. I do spazz knowing Cap can lift it though.


	13. Thor Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor tries to see past his nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone should write a WWE Avengers fic. I don’t know what of, comedy drama whatever, but that needs to be done. Or at least picture manips or something. Coulson can be a referee, Fury is the big boss. Thor is the main star, and Cap. Natasha’s the female heavyweight champion. Heimdall should be there too. And Clint. And Bucky and Sam. Tony’s a commentator because that SASS. Loki too. Gonna put this on norsekink I need this a lot
> 
> I do not own these characters, and I apologize for errors and whatever one may thinks sucks.
> 
>  

Thor tries to see past his nose.

Someone should write a WWE Avengers fic. I don't know what of, comedy drama whatever, but that needs to be done. Or at least picture manips or something. Coulson can be a referee, Fury is the big boss. Thor is the main star, and Cap. Natasha's the female heavyweight champion. Heimdall should be there too. And Clint. And Bucky and Sam. Tony's a commentator because that SASS. Loki too. Gonna put this on norsekink I need this a lot

I do now own these characters, and I apologize for errors and whatever one may thinks sucks.

**Chapter 13: Thor Day 3**

For the first time in a long time, even before the nonsense with the other princes, Loki woke up feeling relaxed and at ease.

He didn't know what woke him, but looked up just in time to see his chamber door close, a pale hand disappearing at the last second. Loki craned his neck to squint over his shoulder, and found that he was alone. He put his head back on the pillow and lay quietly for a few moments, staring with small eyes at the wall, before stretching his legs out and arching his back in the most delicious stretch he'd ever enjoyed. His back popped pleasantly and he pointed his toes, swirling the muscles along his legs.

After a few experimental twists and turns, Loki gave up trying to find pain. He had a few small aches but they gave him a filthy twinge in his belly, striking the pleasure rather than alarm bells in his head. He lay afterward enjoying the softness of his bed and the quiet of his room, and thought back to the night before. He clenched his hand and poked at his palm with his fingers. Did Nuada have a mark on his face? He couldn't particularly decide if he wanted it to, he was actually feeling very mellow. Calm. A little confident if you squint. Maybe even secretly curious.

' _After that amazing fuck who wouldn't feel like this_.' That voice whispered. It didn't have sarcasm to it, so he huffed and let it go. "Wasn't that amazing." He mumbled stubbornly as an after thought, and proceeded to actively avoid thinking of it as he dragged himself out of bed to begin his day.

But it easily disappeared when he realised he would be spending the day with Thor.

Loki made a beeline for his potion.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The Crown Prince of Asgard was feeling lonely.

He missed his friends, he missed his room, he missed Asgard, he even missed his parents. He missed talking and laughing with someone, he missed eating with a group of familiar faces and he missed having someone to make jokes with. He missed being liked.

No one in Jötunheimr seemed to like him. Besides Thrym, but as the Crown Prince of Jötunheimr, he had duties and couldn't always be around, Thor understood that. Though he could understand why the people didn't like him, he didn't like them, but it was starting to get suffocating when they began to gossip about him. It wasn't petty babbling the maids did in the kitchens, it was dark grumblings in corners, guards and servants and royals alike.

They were all complaining about his relationship with Loki.

He didn't hover to hear what they were saying, but it was getting to him when every second person snarled at him. Mjölnir was constantly gravitating towards his hand. It made him mad, he didn't _choose_ to be here. It was his father's and Laufey's glorious plan. And to make it worse the hostility from Loki was quite surprising. The little Jotun rarely said much, nor did he actually fight him when it came night, but the pent up hostility in his march made his feelings quite clear. At first Thor thought that if he ignored it and followed through with the duty it would become manageable, but if this was how they would spend the rest of their lives, Thor wasn't sure he could handle it.

But when the anger reached a boiling point his mother would pop into his head, and in relation the notion that Loki was just as trapped as he was. Loki clearly received no thrill from their nightly activities and he hadn't tried to kill him in his sleep (Thor had woken up every couple hours to spy on Loki, but the man had been fast asleep in the exact same position, exhausted). Loki was angry because he was unhappy, he came to realise, and he could relate to that. So maybe a little common grounds was the key to striking a working partnership. He'd never had to think about things like his, all women were interested in him, there was very little chase, and men wanted all to be his best friend. It was hard not being liked, and it was hard figuring how to court Loki's friendship. They'd been friends once, sort of, for a few days, as children, surely they could work up some agreement. A marriage this tense was not on Thor's to-do list, he'd go insane.

The sex wasn't horrible either, he honestly thought he'd be repulsed by bedding a Jotun, but Loki was becoming a strange pleasure he wasn't sure if he liked or was simply growing accustom to. Loki didn't seem to like it much, but that was probably because he was angry. Once he became receptive it would get better, surely.

Thor had been musing it all to himself on the way to breakfast, when he came across hushed voices. He immediately recognised Thrym, and sidled carefully against the wall to peek through a column where Thrym was talking to another Jotun. Thrym looked uncomfortable, an odd look on him, and Thor realised his company was one of the royal brothers.

"What must I do? I can't just steal Loki away, where would he go?" Thrym said, strained.

"I'm not saying that, but he isn't going to make a satisfactory bride at this rate. Loki's never seen eye to eye with any of us but you, and oddly enough neither has Thor."

"Yes, well, I'm gifted." Thrym sighed, sounding regretful.

"Father rants about how stubborn and selfish Loki is, but where does he think Loki inherited it? This fancy contest is only making things worse. Loki is starving himself, that Aesir beast is damaging him and the people are becoming angry. Loki is a little brat but he is the baby of the family. It's in his Frostfemme nature to have high standards and a superiority complex. The people don't like what they're hearing, you know how the servants talk."

"Byleistr, I know. I _know_. But Loki is eating again and I think he's giving Thor as much as he gets. Father says they'll learn to get along."

"Father also said he's fucked a Muspelheim demonness, but clearly his cock is still intact. My point is, it won't only be the rebels giving trouble when Thor breaks Loki completely. There are a number of parties that had been waiting patiently for Loki's hand to be offered. I don't doubt Loki is durable but being bred each night by these foreigners is going to have consequences in numerous ways. What happens when they find problems and return Loki to our door step? Father will blame Loki, he'll be punished, when it's him and those brutes."

Thrym winced. "They're good men. At least Nuada seems to be careful…I know Thor is difficult but—"

"He is using Loki up without putting anything back. Even whores and those peasants mated off to feed their families get affection and treasures in return from their partners. _Appreciation_. Thor is your big buddy, speak to him before someone puts his head on a spike and starts a war. Heblindi already lost it, soon it won't be spur of the moment attacks, they will be planned. Norns know Odin would steal and defile Loki to make a point, and again, Loki will be the one taking the fall."

Thor couldn't handle anymore. He turned and walked away, his mind thrice as troubled.

When he made it to breakfast, the table was decently filled. He spotted Nuada immediately in his peripheral vision thanks to his pasty colouring among the others, and spotted Loki besides Laufey. Loki didn't see him coming, he was curiously busy looking at Nuada from under his lashes as if spying, lifting his spoon a hand length too far to the right to aim for his mouth. Nuada was clearly trying to focus on his food, and Laufey was looking particularly jovial.

For the next twenty minutes Thor caught nothing being discussed. He was usually excluded from chats at the table, he didn't particularly mind that, but his mind was swimming over everything he had just overheard. At least he had a bigger idea of why the people were looking so irritable with him, but he hadn't strangled and beaten Loki for stars sake. And Loki hadn't exactly offered himself over easily either, it wasn't _all_ his fault.

The more he thought about it the more he realised maybe he could have slowed it all down a little, taken a little more time, and maybe he could've avoided making Loki bleed. He was starting to feel bad about that, maybe that was adding to Loki's anger. He could try slower sex, but then it would drag it out and he didn't know if Loki would hate or prefer that. Asking him seemed a little like wishful thinking, but maybe he ought to just focus on today. After all, his friends were coming.

It had honestly been a moment of weakness, and the minute he sent the letter he felt bad. But he was thanking himself again, he needed the company and support.

The table soon started clearing (he was still surprised the Jotuns didn't fight around the table each morning and night) and he caught Loki staring Nuada off as the man took his leave. There was no expression on Loki's face, nothing to judge by, but he hadn't seen Loki staring at them at all. Usually it was just stolen glances.

Then surprising him, Loki rose with him when it was time to leave. He mumbled a reply to his father and Thrym, the latter who had been quiet all morning, and followed his hesitant prompting.

"Loki," Thor said, coming around to his side.

Loki nodded lightly, "Prince Thor."

Receiving no sneer or dirty look, Thor gestured, and waited for Loki to go first. Quietly the male took off, and he followed. They walked quietly from the hall, _peacefully_ , so much so Thor wondered if this was actually Loki. The usual tension between them seemed to be rising solely off of him, perhaps Loki had calmed down? Maybe today could actually be good.

They were half way down the hall when Thrym came running after them. Loki turned to frown at him.

"Thrym?"

Thrym smiled convincingly at them. Thor couldn't help thinking about what he overheard. "Loki, Thor. How is my little brother?"

Loki looked somewhat confused. "Fair."

"Good. Er, Thor, may I have a word?"

Thor smiled tightly. "Of course, excuse us Loki."

They took a few steps away, smiling apologetically at Loki's roll of eyes.

"Thor. Look er, I just thought I'd see how you and Loki are doing?"

"Better than the start, there's some progress." Thor said carefully. This was clearly about what he overheard.

"Oh? Well, that is a good thing! I just—"

"That is why I'm going to try speed it up."

Thrym paused. "Huh?"

Thor shifted, and kept his voice low. "Our relationship. Things haven't been easy for either of us but I think it's about time we bond more, before anything permanent happens. He seems to be in brighter spirits today, I hope to add to that."

"Really? I mean, that's wonderful! Perfect, that's er, that is what I was going to suggest."

"Already done, my friend."

"Talking about friends, I heard two of yours are coming to visit?"

"Aye, I thought some activity and new people would entertain Loki."

"I can't say Loki likes meeting people, but if he ends up marrying you, your friends will be his."

"Exactly. Thank you for you concern."

"Good luck then. See you later, Loki!" Thrym waved to Loki before he left, his demeanour back to normal. Thor let out a breath he'd been holding and turned to Loki with a smile. There was still no hatred in his eyes today, if anything he looked weirdly disinterested.

"I thought he was going to ask to stay." Loki said as he watched Thrym disappear around a corner. Thor understood his longing, he wished so too.

"I'm sure he has duties to see to. Besides, two of my friends have agreed to visit."

"Your friends?"

"Lady Sif and Fandral. They're eager to meet you."

Thrym was right, Loki didn't look too keen. "…Today?"

"Aye. Don't worry, Fandral is very friendly. Sif is a little…hard, but she has a good heart. They're loyal friends."

Then Loki surprised him further, making his face red. "Is she your woman?"

"My—? No, no, she's my friend. Come, they-they'll arrive soon."

**XxXxXx**

Meeting Thor's friends was not something Loki was looking forward to. Thor looked happy about it, and he looked to be extra careful around him today too. Loki supposed he could turn down the meeting, but he didn't want to give Thor more incentive to be a bastard. He was feeling good today and he didn't want to lose that. What was the worst that could happen?

"Thor! It's been years! You grew again!" Fandral exclaimed loudly as he gave Thor a heavy hug. Thor returned it happily, clapping Fandral on the back. Thor then embraced Sif, and Fandral smiled charmingly at Loki. He held out his hand with a courtesy bow. "Ah, Prince Loki, it is an honour to finally meet you."

Loki forced himself to give over his hand. Fandral gave it back after a small squeeze. "Thank you."

Thor turned back to Loki's side, and gestured to Sif, who was dressed in her warrior attire. It was an odd sight for Loki, she had been the only female (real or fictional) he'd known to dress so. "Loki, this is Sif. Sif, Loki."

Loki inclined his head minutely. "Lady Sif."

"Prince." She replied curtly.

Thor beamed. "Thank you for coming, my friends."

Fandral waved a hand. "Well, let's not stand about, let's do something!"

"Loki, what would you like to do?" Thor asked, giving Loki all his attention.

Loki frowned at the action, and question. "Um…"

"What of some sport? Do you spar Loki?"

This Fandral looked too calm for an Aesir meeting a Jotun prince, it was slightly unnerving. At least the woman was being predictable. Loki looked from blond male to blond male, and answered cautiously. "…Yes."

A pleased noise escaped Fandral, and he wiggled his eye brows. "May I challenge you?"

No one caught the light roll of Sif's eyes. When Loki failed to reply Thor cleared his throat. "You can say no. I'll take him in your honour."

Loki then looked at him for a moment, something flashing in his eyes. "A spar will be good."

Fandral made another queer noise.

**XxXxXx**

Once in an empty training yard Fandral shed his cloak and played idly with his sword as if he were a little boy. Sif and Loki shared the expression of being annoyed, but it didn't bother him. Fandral was used to acting silly for the amusement of his friends, especially Thor who clearly needed the smiles.

"So, who dares challenge me?"

Thor and Sif looked to Loki, and Loki gave a defeated smirk. "I." he said, and shed his tunic. It felt good to be bare-chested again, and he pretended not to notice the Asgardian's curious looks. He picked up a spare sword from the weapons pile and gave Fandral a sideways gaze as he approached, suddenly looking nothing short of dangerous. Fandral grinned in excitement.

On the benches to the side, Sif settled besides Thor and nudged him. "How are you?"

"Still alive." Thor said softly.

"How does he treat you?"

"I think the issue here is how I treat him. The Jotuns aren't being quiet about their repellence to my being here."

"Well how _are_ you treating him? Do they expect you to kiss his feet?" she snorted, and they smiled as Fandral yelped. Loki was good with a sword, but Fandral had better practice. Not that this spar was proving that, Thor could tell Fandral was playing. He made it look so easy.

The mood Fandral was creating was just what Thor had hoped for when he wrote to invite them over, but the whispers between Thrym and Byleistr had settled like a mould on his shoulders. "I suppose I overestimated his strength. …Don't Jotuns—…I was lead to believe they mate like beasts, now I hear whispers on every corner of my abusing him."

Sif watched him carefully, as Thor watched the spar. "… _Are_ you hurting him?" she asked after a moment.

"…Not purposely. But it's not like bedding some foreign maiden. I can see he doesn't want it either, that doesn't make it any easier. How do you seduce a Jotun?"

It quickly became apparent Loki was enjoying himself, and seeing Loki spar for sport was different to the desperate animal during the trials. He showed a lot more form and different attempts, many of which Fandral couldn't dodge even if he tried. Loki didn't touch him more than necessary, whether out of him being a stranger or to avoid accidently giving him Frostbite, using his sword and swings to throw Fandral off. Fandral was clearly having a ball, but never struck Loki out of range of his sword. Whether or not Loki's sharp wit knew that was unclear, but they seemed to be getting along that that was good enough for Thor.

When Sif replied, he jumped, having fallen into a trance. "Maybe he senses your reluctance and it's rubbing off onto him. Look at the way he holds himself, he is a proud being. He's not going to feel responsible for your reluctance. He's not going to beg you to want it and frankly I can imagine he thinks you feel the same."

"…Well…I _don't_ want it." Thor mumbled, grumpily, but without the dark undertone.

"I know, but you may have to start trying or they're going to start saying you're raping him."

"…"

"Are they?" Sif gave him a sharp look. Then a sharp frown. "Did you?"

Thor winced. "I…It's not…I warned father, I didn't—…I am trying…"

A slightly awkward atmosphere settled over them on top of the mould. She shifted quietly, before rubbing his arm. "…I can see."

On the court, Loki ducked a swipe and kicked in Fandral's right calf, sending him sprawling onto his back, sword clattering away. His blade was at Fandral's throat before they could blink, and Fandral held his hands out.

"I yield! I yield!" he cried, laughing breathlessly. Loki waited a moment before stepping back. Fandral got up with a smile on his face. "You are good."

Loki shrugged, as if bored.

"Sif! Would you like a turn?" Fandral offered, and they swopped places.

Fandral fell besides Thor, and caught his breath as Loki and Sif took a few practice rounds. "Very soulful local tail you got there."

"This isn't a trip, Fandral." Thor said, smiling softly.

"Come on, don't look so unhappy. He's smart and passionate, can't you see it? And he's gorgeous up close, I don't see how you _can't_."

Thor gave him a glare. "I did not invite you here to take the Jotuns' side."

"Oh? Well sorry, but you need to wake up. He is a winner, anyone can see it."

It had to just be Fandral's wide standards talking. The man had only a few limits to his sexual orientation, Thor hoped it would start rubbing off onto him. Maybe if he tried to think like Fandral things would get easier.

Unlike the male, the Aesir woman was quite a competitor. Loki knew the male was being easy on him, no one smiled so much when being put on their backside repeatedly. He didn't particularly care, it was a good spar and the exercise was welcomed, and it was a distraction from Thor. Perhaps it was a distraction for Thor from him. It worked both ways, he wasn't about to argue.

This Sif though, she didn't like him, he could tell. She wasn't glowering at him like he was a piece of dirt, but considering they were supposed to be striking neighbourly bonds, she was painfully elusive. But her sparring was challenging. Loki was just slightly bigger built than she was, and that brought their techniques into a common place. They were both fast and agile, and when it became apparent they were equally matched in skill, it came out that so was their determination.

Sif spared him no mercy, and he allowed himself to return the favour. There was no blood lust in her eyes, nor his, they weren't stupid, but they both knew what it felt like to be underestimated, and fought to achieve the same victory. Loki found a sliver of respect for her, and realised a woman like this couldn't be Thor's. She did not submit.

Thor and Fandral started shouting support and advise as their spar grew more heated, spreading their words equally. Neither of them obeyed or listened to those words, but they could still hear them.

"Beautiful! Next time you should spar naked for us!" Fandral hollered, and Thor's laughter followed.

Loki faltered for only a second, but it was enough to give Sif an opening. She caught him in the ribs with a punch and knocked the sword from his hands when he flinched, and kicked his legs out from under him. He hit the ground hard and winced, and opened his eyes to find her standing above him, sword pointed.

"I win." She stated, panting lightly.

Loki pulled a face. "I got distracted." He said, and saw Thor punch Fandral for it.

"Have you ever faced three opponents who taunted you with what they'd do to you once they beat you?" Sif asked suddenly, "You learn to avoid being distracted."

Loki had no reply.

She stepped off of him and put down her weapon, wiping her brow. Loki slowly got to his feet, and Fandral clapped loudly from the seats.

"Aww, better luck next time Loki. Bravo Sif!"

"Shut up you fool." Thor laughed.

Sif turned back to Loki when he was upright, and gave him a nod. "Good match."

Loki returned it. "Indeed."

"My turn!" Thor smiled broadly and rose up to join them.

Loki felt a twinge pull in his stomach. He stepped back and shook his head, trying to look neutral so not to raise attention. "I'm tried, I need a break."

Thor dropped it immediately, and turned to Sif. "Of course. Sif?"

"Come and get your beating." She smirked. Loki wondered how long these particular two had known each other to be able to share such easy intimate smiles. She didn't look like she smiled much, and he couldn't see how he courted her company if they weren't bedding, she was no swooning maiden.

The change left Loki to return to Fandral's side. He put a seat between them when he sat, and leaned back to relax his body. The burning from the potion had been strangely calm today, along with his attitude. Or was his attitude calm because the burning had been?

As Sif and Thor started their spar, Fandral closed the space between them in an exaggerated manner, sliding across the seat as he looked straight ahead. Loki didn't know where to be amused or annoyed.

"So…"

"…"

"How are things with my friend?"

"Fine."

"You could be more convincing." Fandarl snorted.

Loki took a double take at him. "Excuse me?" he asked softly, carefully.

Fandral gave an easy shrug, his eyes forward. "You don't have to like him, but it's expected you act as so. Oh, but it's not your fault! No, no. Thor is being an unreasonable child." Fandral said it as if it was the most normal and inevitable thing there was, derision lacing his tone in a manner that made Loki exhale in quiet agreement. "If you come to Asgard you're going to need better company than him around keeping up the pretence. At least a couple days a week."

Loki frowned at him, then suddenly they were locked in a tight glance.

"You're the prettiest Jotun I ever seen."

Okay, if this wasn't awkward, Loki didn't know what was.

"If you don't mind my saying, of course. If you come to Asgard and Thor keeps letting you down, just know I'll be there. Thor can be quite an oblivious idiot. I've been told my nightly skills are only second to Thor. Just putting my name down should you ever need attentive company." Fandral sounded pleased with himself, and very confident. He had on the most arrogant smile Loki had ever seen, and that included Thor. _Included_.

It took a few difficult moments for his shock to make way for the anger, he was that appalled! How dare this Aesir brute throw such disgusting hints, as if he would ever qualify as a _lover_. And he was Thor's friend! Didn't this man have any conscious? Did Thor know about this? The gall!

"If your skills are even half of Thor's pathetic attempts you can take your _skills_ and shove them up his arse. And stop looking at me like I am some common cunt. And if you tell anyone my words, I am going to tell all my big brothers you tried to rape me. So kindly remove your eyes from me or I'll cut them out."

Fandral said not another word.

Sif and Thor had been oblivious to their little spat, and after their spar Loki decided to take Thor up on a round to get away from his friend. Thor accepted, looking a little surprised but pleasantly so. Loki's heart was beating hard in his chest, he'd quite seriously threatened the man, but there was not a thing he could do about it, nor grounds to defend himself, and it added to the confidence and strength that had been hovering inside Loki since that morning.

It wasn't a physical strength obviously, Loki knew he wasn't suddenly a match for Thor after punching Nuada's very willing nose out, but if he could do just a little to Thor he might find tonight just a little more bearable. Already he hadn't brooded on the topic, maybe he was growing a defence against it. Or maybe his weird mood was just making him slack.

It turned out Thor was fair with a sword, but not as good as the rest of them, Loki included. He swung the blade too fast, accidently; he wasn't used to the lighter weight of the tool. Loki realised Thor's offensive skills were incredibly limited, especially in comparison to Nuada's, and even his own. He hated that he was making comparisons to Nuada now but it was the only way he could think of it. Thor handled most of the situations the same, relying on his bulk and resistance to win him a match instead of adapting his style. Thor was still stronger than him, and made a point of taking him down with it, but today Loki wasn't shy to air his displeasure and retaliated in the name of sportsmanship.

The only problem was, Thor didn't damage easily. He was like a big pink rock, and he blocked the worst of Loki's blows. No blood fell from him that day.

Thor seemed to enjoy himself nevertheless, and was all smiles and laughs by the time they were done. Loki calm again by then, and almost surprised when his friends left at lunch. Thor looked surprised, a little disappointed too, but Fandral insisted so and Sif was looking at Loki strangely. Loki didn't bother trying to hide his amusement.

Once they took off Thor suggested lunch, and Loki welcomed the next distraction.

"You are fast, that is where you beat me." Thor said, around his food. They sat outside devouring a meal brought by a servant. They'd both sparred quite a few times, and after that and last night, Loki was famished despite having breakfast.

"Nuada is fast too." Loki said, and looked up when silence followed longer than necessary. Thor's face was suddenly hard, chewing his food as if punishing it.

"I do not trust him." Thor explained, when he acknowledged Loki's gaze.

"Oh? I'm sorry to have mentioned him." Loki looked down at his thighs, and stuffed a piece of meat into his mouth. There was slight pang in his chest, and he swallowed hard to squash it before it could confuse him.

"What did your mother look like?" Thor suddenly asked. Loki looked up in surprise.

"…Are you asking if he was like me?"

Thor looked down at his body, and gave a shrug. "Yes, I suppose. It does seem fitting at least, for the queen of Jötunheimr to be like you."

While Loki had always been slightly annoyed at his troublesome difference to his race, Thor made it sound completely alien. Not all queens had been Frostfemmes, many of them had been slaves for their use, but they were preferred for the throne. Hearing it from Thor immediately gave it a negative connotation.

"Oh." he said, wishing Thor would just choke and spend the next hour coughing.

"It would look odd for someone like Thrym to be a queen," Thor added with a laugh.

Loki's calm mood threatened to bid him goodbye this time. He didn't understand how this idiot could actually keep igniting his anger over and over, did he not know anything?

"And what of the rest of Jötunheimr? Everywhere Jotuns _like Thrym_ are birthers." He asked.

"I know," Thor said, unsure as he watched Loki's face contort, "Just…for a queen. Queens especially are supposed to be pretty and such."

"Good thing I'm not pretty." Loki retorted. Thor just looked at him, and Loki scolded himself for feeling offended when Thor didn't bother to contradict him. Nuada would have.

_NO stop the Nuada stuff, dear Norns…_

"Apparently we were betrothed as children." Thor said instead, looking thoughtful. Loki shifted uncomfortably.

"So I've heard. But your father ended the plans. I believe my mother made them."

Thor nodded slowly. "Yes…we could have been friends by now if he hadn't."

"Or married…" Loki said. He tried to imagine how things would have been if Odin hadn't turned them away. Would Thor have grown to like him? Thor insists they'd played as children, he seemed cheerful whenever mentioning that, perhaps they could have made good friends. More, at the age they were now. Maybe Asgard wouldn't be adverse to them by now, and they in return.

"Yes." Thor said, emptily. He stared at Loki, something on his mind. Loki raised a brow to prompt him, and Thor blurted out. "Do you feel anything?"

"Sorry?"

"Do you think you're pregnant?" Thor asked, sounding more curious than eager. Like he was asking Loki if his pet had shed its first coat.

"I really can't tell." Loki said, with no regret. Thor nodded, and gave up the subject quickly to jump to the next.

"My mother likes you. She said so before she left."

"And I like her. She is indeed the Allmother." Loki said, honestly.

"Mother says you are sill too young to be a…a mother." Thor looked hesitant. Loki pulled his lips.

"My father thinks the opposite."

"What do you think?"

Loki looked away and shrugged. What was he supposed to say? To Thor of all people. He would rather be telling this to Frigga. "It's not sport. A baby is no toy." He said, pointedly.

"Well, I think you'll be fine. It's instinctual for a mother to know how to care for her babe, is it not? Can't be that hard?"

Thor sounded much too unsure to be convincing anyone. How would Loki be expected to have a baby with this fool? He obviously knew nothing of children, why should the Crown Prince? He'd be no help whatsoever, if anything he'd probably avoid it directly. Thor sounded worried too, and Loki wanted to laugh. It was easy for him to speak and pass it off as a meagre task, _he_ wasn't being bred to be a mother. Being a birther meant significantly more responsibility when it came to children. It was an equal job, of course, but children naturally sought out their dams for comfort and for food and for the little cut on their finger— _it was the end of freedom_. It would be hell. But on the bright side, Queen Frigga was a dam, she would be there, maybe she'd be of help to compensate for Thor's absence.

"May I ask something?" Thor asked, wiping his mouth clean.

Loki cocked a brow at him, and nodded.

"How er…Father says you'll grow breasts when you become with child. So you can nurse."

Loki stared at him. "…What is your question?"

"Um…is it true?" Thor was blushing, swallowing his food with difficulty.

"...Yes," Loki said. He didn't feel like lying to tormenting Thor at the moment, why waste today's energy?

Thor looked pleasantly surprised. "I have never seen a Jotun with breasts. Actually…I don't think I've seen Jotun children."

"Those that are pregnant or nursing don't roam far from their homes when there is trouble afoot, same goes for their children. And there aren't children in the palace unless they belong to father and his brothers. And…mine or Thrym's."

"What of all the workers here who have children?"

"Their dams and children reside outside the palace, there is a special sector for those that work here day and night, so they can return to their families without hours travel."

"It works similar on Asgard," Thor added. "Do you have younger brothers?"

"How young?"

Thor raised his hand to indicate the height of a child, though Loki couldn't be sure of the age as Jotuns were quite a few heads taller. But it made little difference, he was one of the youngest in the family, and those younger than him were all past the first passage into adolescences.

"None still children."

Thor nodded, then blurted out his next question.

"Do you get monthlies?"

"Do I get what?" Loki squinted.

"You know," Thor hesitated, trying and failing horribly to explain his question physically. "Do you…when a woman reaches-when she becomes a woman, or—well, able to have children, she bleeds every month from her..."

Loki's jaw slowly popped open to follow his gaze. "What in the Nine for?"

Thor blinked owlishly at him.

At dinner that evening Laufey reminded them that Loki would be tested for pregnancy the next day. Everyone seemed interested for the outcome. More than once Loki found the table's occupants throwing glances at his stomach as if a bump would magically appear and wave to them. Odin and Balor would arrive for the test and Loki couldn't wait to see the disappointment. He tried not to look suspicious as his mood was brighter than usual at the table, and found himself trying actively not to catch Nuada's eye. The Elf had been completely unseen the whole day, no awkward sightings. He could tell there were words on the tip of Nuada's tongue, but the man respected that it was not his day to steal Loki's company, and settled with silent glances, which Loki was slowly becoming used to catching. _Too_ used.

Despite his upcoming round of sex with Thor and the test tomorrow, Loki was still feeling fairly calm. He _knew_ the potion had worked, he just knew it had, and he wondered how the mating would be tonight seeing as Thor spent the entire day trying to smile even when there was no reason to. His good mood, whatever brought it on, had better rub off onto the mating or he'd give Thor a great big sign.

After a few blessings from his father and the court, and a dozen mental eye rolls from him, Loki departed with Thor. He folded his arms as they went. Thor was quiet now, but Loki could hear the wheels cranking around in his head. He left Thor be, he didn't care what he thought, and they made their way into his room. He was going to need a brand new one when this was all over, that bed was forever ruined.

Again, Thor was quiet but his silence was loud, pregnant, troubled. Or maybe Loki was just looking for things that weren't there.

The atmosphere quickly became awkward. Thor's undressing sounded louder than usual, and so did Loki's breathing. The ruffle of clothing seemed so scratchy and continuous, and Loki found himself getting nervous at the thought of being touched. Thor's touch meant pain, he had half a mind to demand a gentler touch. If Nuada could do it, why couldn't Thor? The man caressed his stupid hammer all the time, clearly he wasn't ignorant to the idea. But demanding so would seem as though he gave mind to the mating, and he didn't want to appear weaker than it was already thought.

But maybe he didn't have to _demand_ anything.

Thor was barely done untying his pants when Loki made a rude clicking out with his tongue, one used at horse and flung one of the vials Nuada had brought their second night. Thor caught it a second before it could smack his face and held it up.

"What's this?"

Loki rolled his eyes openly. "Use it, and be quick tonight, if you will."

Thor stared, dumbfounded, and Loki turned his back to keep his nerve. He threw off his tunic and slipped off his skirt, feeling Thor's eyes burning into his body. He acted oblivious, and climbed into bed.

Thor watched him until he was settled, apparently still shocked about something, but quickly made up for lost time by hastily kicking his pants off and uncorking the vial. Loki nonchalantly avoided looking at Thor's nether region and found interest in a small cut on his leg.

When Thor didn't climb onto the bed Loki looked up, and quickly looked away again. His heart jumped into his mouth but he kept steady as Thor lathered his cock in oil. He stood off to the side, stroking his cock to hardness. The movement started to make slick sounds, and Loki felt his cheeks burn.

But Thor did as he bid, and was quickly climbing on besides him, his brawn bare and bronze. Loki dared to look up into his eyes, and Thor pressed a hand against his shoulder. Loki allowed it and fell back against the bedding, but when he realized Thor meant to climb between his legs he shot back up and slammed a hand into his chest.

"No." he added, but gave Thor no time to question him and turned around on his knees. He pushed a pillow beneath his chest and opened his knees a little, and gave Thor the prompt by exhaling as a finish.

A moment passed before Thor continued, taking hold of his hips and spreading his cheeks.

He didn't want to think it, he knew it could turn into something obsessive, but he couldn't bear to lie on his back and stare up at Thor as he fucked him. As well as suffocating, it would taint the position Nuada had placed only good memories in. And he didn't want Nuada to take him from behind lest Thor's tactics somehow infect him. It was already difficult, he didn't need to make it worse.

Self preservation and confidence was creeping back into his decisions.

Thor's fingers found their way into him with noticeable ease thanks to the oil. He worked them in for a few short moments, then stalled no longer, as Loki requested. Loki grit his teeth as the thick head pressed until it popped in, but gave into the groan that escaped. Thankfully Thor's was louder, and he didn't hear it. Loki sucked in a lungful as Thor drew him back until their hips met, gave him a moment of respite, and started to drive into him.

The activity was astoundingly different from the other times thanks to the oil, but as well as lessening him pain, it seemed to heighten the pleasure, for them both.

Before a minute was through Thor was ploughing into him loudly, their thighs and balls slapping obscenely accompanied by the barely concealed grunts coming from Thor. Loki only managed to withhold his own through pure horror as his channel clenched sweetly around the movement within him.

It was feeling good.

No. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. He just wanted to lessen the pain and speed the process. Why was it feeling good? It never felt good. It wasn't supposed to something was wrong it shouldn't be like this no no wrong not right **wrong**!

He hadn't known when he started to thrash, but he heard Thor's voice calling at him to calm down, and felt is strong hands struggling to hold him in place as he twisted and squirmed. Pillows went flying as he panicked, bucking and kicking his legs, aiming for any direction away from Thor.

For a moment he managed to escape Thor's grasp and his cock popped out, but he didn't make it far before Thor was using his weight against him, yelling questions he could no longer understand in the frenzy. But then something happened and his body decided to understand it just fine, and he gave a violent twitch before going still.

Thor shook, staring down at the side of Loki's face, a hand around his left arm, and the other around the back of his neck. Loki went still in a most disturbing way, but it wasn't worse than his sudden fright. Thor tried to catch his breath as Loki did the same beneath him, staring off with big unseeing eyes. He was almost too scared to move in case it sparked another struggle. But it soon became evident that the hand on his neck was holding the path of the night too.

Thor had no clue what to make of it, it was probably just a Jotun thing, but gave it praise anyway as he slowly and carefully drew Loki back to his knees. The smaller male made a few peculiar noises, as if unable of speak, and fumbled into the position he placed him in.

"It's…it's okay," Thor said, unsure if Loki understood him or not, or if it would make any difference. "Be still, just a minute more."

Loki said and did nothing, unlike Thor was growing used to, and he had the decency to be unnerved. But his gut told him to hold onto the control, and so he did. He pushed Loki's front back down into the bedding and made a quick job of entering him again, a fully fledged moan escaping the little Jotun this time. Thor chose to ignore it, and kept his grip constant for the next minute of sex, aiming solely for release. Loki panted hotly beneath him, fingers curled into the bedding, entrance clenching and thighs twitching until Thor couldn't remember what he'd been arguing with Fandral about in the first place.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	14. Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No explanation needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready to find out how horrible I can be?
> 
> I do not own these characters.
> 
>  

**Chapter 14: Results**

"Rise and shine, Snowflake…come on, don't give me that face...Loki, wake up already…"

Burrowing away from the poking, Loki hid his face deeper into his furs. "Hng…no…" Thrym had been sitting by him for a few quite minutes before he decided to finally wake him up. Loki had been half asleep when he arrived, and kept up the pretence. He had been drifting in and out for a while, determined not to face the day, but he was still impossibly tense from the night before (as well as disgusted) and remaining in that spot for eternity was his next plan.

Thrym sighed and shook his arm. "Come on, Odin and Balor have already arrived."

At this Loki shot up, hair dishevelled. He blinked his weary eyes and looked around as if the men of topic were in the room. "What? When?"

"Half hour ago." Thrym studied him with an odd expression, then cupped his chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Thrym usually woke him in some silly manner, why was this morning different? Thrym was rarely serious.

"It's your testing day remember?"

"…Yes." Loki nodded a jerky nod, his eyes drifting off as his worries returned. "Yes…."

From the moment Thor struck gold inside him the night before, fear after fear that had been momentarily forgotten came crashing down on him with each vile plunge of Thor's cock. As soon as the pleasure started he knew there was something wrong, and all the cockiness he felt that day melted along side his strength.

Mating with Thor never felt good, he hadn't aimed for that when he suggested use of oil, he didn't want it to feel good! It was enough that Nuada got him to writhe and moan the way he did, but he did _not_ need to go through that with Thor. His only consolation was that Thor hadn't gotten him to peak, and it truly did end faster than usual. Thor had cum quickly after his struggle, but powerfully, his tone that of awe. Thankfully he hadn't thought to (or desired?) to increase Loki's pleasure by stimulating his cock, and Loki managed to hold out his own peak. Thor filled him and left his cock stiffening into the bedding, but it quickly died away with each second that Thor's seed sat inside him, increasing the possibility of pregnancy.

His erection died twice as quick as Thor's fuck.

After that he lay wide awake, thinking of all the horrible possibilities he could imagine to get rid of the lingering sexual pleasure dancing in his veins. He didn't want the slightest chance of it deciding he should accept the seed and have a baby. It made him feel sick, trembling quietly into the bedding in dread of the next day. Was he pregnant? Or had the potion worked? If he mixed it wrong he was definitely pregnant. If there was a strict timing regime to follow he was definitely pregnant. If he knew his luck at all, he was pregnant.

He had a terrible night's sleep, dreaming of being dragged to Asgard.

"Hey, it's okay. We'll all be there. I'll be there." Thrym was rubbing his arm, looking worriedly into his face. The nausea from the night before returned to Loki and he looked at Thrym, his face miserable.

"…No, you won't. I'll be sent away."

"I'll always be there." Thrym shifted closer and cupped his neck with both hands, petting with his thumbs. "Don't be scared. I'll visit you all the time, write letters, send you your own hehmer to breed and have them cook for you. And force whichever prince to eat it with you the way you like it." Thrym tried to smile, but Loki was now in tears. It put a knot in Thrym's stomach and he sighed, trying to be firm. "Come now, this is a beginning, not an end."

"I don't like when you try to be mature, it's frightening." Loki sniffled. This was it. He was finished. He would be tested and he'd be full of babies and his father would wrap him up in a fur and hand him to the fathering prince and they throw him over their shoulder and strut all the way back to their land and celebrate their victory with their people and he'd be alone _truly_ alone all alone all theirs all empty all full all gone why had he never appreciated his family why

Thrym tapped his cheek lightly. "Because I speak the truth."

Today came too fast, he hadn't worried about it enough. Weren't there a few more days left? It came too fast. He wasn't pregnant, he knew that. Didn't he? But he also wasn't a healer so how the fuck would he know… No no no no no _no_

His demeanour must have portrayed his feelings. Thrym rubbed down Loki's arms in concern, but there was nothing he could do that would make him feel better. "You don't have to be scared. Calm down, Loki. You survived the mating didn't you? Now all you need to do is let them test you, and it's over. I will personally bug father to pass a big suggestion that they stop touching you now that you're pregnant."

"I'm not—" Loki couldn't help flinching at the idea spoken aloud, but he had to choke off to keep from blurting anything that would reveal his secret. He'd have to take that to the grave, and he certainly couldn't have it revealed now. There was still a chance it could have worked, he was just being paranoid after last night. Yes, paranoid. He wasn't pregnant, of course not. "I don't want to be pregnant."

"You are Frostfemme Loki, you'll make a better dam than any of us." That didn't calm him at all, so Thrym sighed and gave a hesitant shrug. "Granted Nuada seems like he'll make the better father, but try give Thor a chance, for your own sake. Maybe…he's another baby you have to bring up into a good man."

"That is not my job." Loki spat, his voice shaking. The anger and panic was drawing back into his chest, but he couldn't find strength from it like he normally did. He felt vulnerable and twitchy. "What in the Nine did Frigga teach him all those years? Father flogged us for behaviour like that."

"Well, there isn't a hundred Thor's are there? Something rare and alone is always treated special."

Loki blinked miserably at him. "…You mean like me."

"Like you both, I guess. Thor is pampered as an only child. And Father always did more for you than the rest of us."

Loki slapped Thrym's hand away and shifted to the side angrily. "Oh, oh don't you even throw that at me! Look where it got me! That's _only_ why he did it! So I'd _repay_ him in this bed—!"

"Calm down!" Thrym threw his hands up in surrender as he got to his feet. He dropped them with another great sigh, and gestured to the cleaning tools brought in. "Now, get dressed, I'll get food, and we'll have something to eat before we go down."

Loki watched with narrowed eyes as Thrym walked out, acting like a different person. What was with him? He seemed ready enough to prepare him to be sent away, that seemed to be all his family wanted. He regretted scorning other brothers…

' _So alone_.'

Loki jammed his knuckles into his temple to get rid of the voice.

"It worked. It worked. It worked…" With that mantra, Loki made a quick job of cleaning himself and getting dressed. Not because he was eager to be tested, he was downright dreading it, but because his hands were shaking and he didn't want to be caught looking filthy and ravaged if someone came in to look for him. There was no pain when dabbing his entrance, but if it meant no baby he wished he were bleeding.

He quickly pulled on his clothing that consisted of a fur made tunic, which felt somehow too warm, and fought with the covers to hide any dried over wet patches. When satisfied, he headed to the door for Thrym, but tripped up when he made a violent turn for his potion. Two seconds forward he stumbled again, indecisive. Does he take the potion today? Would the healers find out? Could he take that chance? Maybe he could take the potion right after the test. But maybe he wouldn't have to be bed tonight? Surely they'd allow him the night alone if he wasn't pregnant? No…he'd still have to take the potion anyway, he couldn't risk it.

He turned back to the door and opened it quietly, peeking out as if Thor would jump out from a corner. He was just in time to see Thrym, and opened the door for him to enter. Thrym had a large plate of delicious smelling food, Loki could feel its heat wafting. Thrym set down the food and sat besides it, giving him a small smile and hinting for him to join.

Loki did so, and sighed inconspicuously. "Thrym?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I'll have to be bed tonight?"

Thrym looked up from his bread. "…It would seem expected the victor take you to bed in celebration, yeah, but it's not a duty you can't deny them after this past week. I think you're safe."

Thrym definitely did not sound like himself, it made Loki feel unsure. He nodded worriedly, and decided to definitely take the potion. And check his stock. "…I need a night off."

"Well, I'm sure you can insist on the rest of the pregnancy off." Thrym gestured to the food again, and Loki grit his teeth (he was _not_ pregnant) before forcing himself to take a piece of bread.

"Is your Elf here?" he asked for the sake of changing the conversation.

"Who? Nuala? No, just her father and his help."

A short silence followed and Thrym stared into his face as he looked off, both chewing. Thrym then sighed again, this time with a flare of emotion. "Please believe me, Loki, it will be okay."

Loki scoffed bitterly. "For everyone but me."

"You knew this would come someday." Thrym raised a hand, but Loki slapped it away.

"To a warrior! To our people! I knew _that_! I knew I'd be put in Helblindi's arms the first chance he got, not shipped off across the realms! Jotuns don't do that, other realms do that." Loki wanted to stand. He wanted to jump to his feet and stomp them and kick something and run oh Norns he needed to _**run**_

"Yes you'll be the first foreign bride from here, and that's why they _have_ to take extra special care of you or there will be Hel to pay. You think they'll risk their reputation in the realms by hurting you?"

Loki dropped his bread back into the plate as if it were rotten. "Oh, you think they'll care? You think they'll let it get back here for you all to hear?"

Thrym looked annoyed now, "Get what, Loki? What are they going to do to you?"

"Rape me? Beat me?"

"Loki don't—…that won't happen. Mating is a pleasure, tell me it isn't. Tell me."

Loki stared defiantly. "…It's not with Thor," he got out with some trouble. And it would never be, and he didn't want to prove it. He just couldn't be pregnant. _Please please please anything but that_

"And Nuada?"

"You are missing the point!"

"So are you!"

This time Loki stood up, fists clenched. "So that's your final verdict? I must let this happen? I thought you were on my side."

"What can you do to stop it?" Thrym asked. Loki felt his tears return. He was alone. He wished it didn't hurt so much.

With his stomach closing in on itself, Loki pressed it to fend of the nausea, he'd rather have it burning than churning. He waved a shaking hand at the food, and then at Thrym. He needed to be alone. The sooner he got used to it the better. "…I'm not hungry."

"Loki you must—"

"I'M NOT!" Loki turned with a steaming rage, and swatted the plate from the bed. It clattered to the floor loudly and Loki barely resisted the urge to kick it. He swallowed his anger enough to rasp, muscles twitching. "You're just like them."

While Thrym's attitude had been far too reserved and quiet to be normal, this time his face darkened and he stood up, slowly, shaking his head. "Don't say that to me, Loki."

Loki blinked angrily, fat tears falling over his cheeks. "You are." His chest was aching so bad, he wanted to hug and punch Thrym at the same time.

"Don't, Loki. Don't push me away. You'll have no one then."

"I'll have no one when they take me away." Loki managed to hold his voice to the last word, sucking in a sharp breath as the sobs threatened to over take him. Thrym watched him, his face clouded, until he turned and walked out.

"I'll fetch you when it's time."

When the door shut, Loki fell to his buckling knees besides the mess, his chest hollowing out in sobs.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Odin and Balor had indeed arrived early that next morning. After being fetched by a silent Thrym, Loki was handed to their father. He stood quietly besides Laufey as the man rushed around servants to see to little things so they would have more time that day to possibly celebrate a pregnancy. He was in good spirits, worlds more than Thrym. Loki followed him around, keeping to himself, and enduring the pain of having an empty belly. He didn't even have the potion in there today, but strangely it started to burn as if he had. He grit his teeth to keep from reacting to the pain, as well as the nausea and shaking of his hands, and remained stoic as he watched the other kings embraced and lather their sons in attention.

Balor seemed so much more heartfelt than Odin did, grabbing Nuada's face with a large smile and prattling off on how much Álfheimr missed him. It was nice to see, and Loki glanced jealously at his own father. Odin looked happy to see his son, and spent the morning talking to him in corners. Loki thought it suspicious, but he wasn't about to alert his father.

When he seemed to have a gap Laufey turned to him. "Loki, how are you?"

"Fine."

Laufey made a tired sound. "Is this the way you want to part with me? You're already giving Thrym the cold shoulder. Are you siding with your princes more now? Love-struck perhaps?"

Loki almost scoffed, but being cold would bite his father more. "Whores don't love."

He was right, and Laufey grabbed his arm in warning. He yelped and a few people looked up. Laufey seemed to care about the audience, and loosened his grip enough to remove the threatening body language. "Say that word again, and I will have your lips sewn shut." He whispered angrily. "You are a prince, soon-to-be queen, stop your bitching. I know you're giving the princes a hard time, but I've let it slide. I am always letting things where you are concerned slide, but you never appreciate it."

"Say _that_ word again, and I'll throw up."

"Loki!" His voice rose and he growled, looking around at the eyes watching them. Loki felt an odd curiosity and comfort that Laufey wouldn't strike him in front of the visitors. Laufey grudgingly released him. "So help me..."

Loki smirked despite his shaking inners. "What? What could you possibly do? I don't think the princes would take too kindly to you hitting their wife." Loki taunted, his expression mimicking Laufey's. He was his father's son, he could also be a bastard.

"I never hear the end of how cocky I let you grow. Now I am paying for it." Laufey actually sounded helpless, but Loki couldn't find a thrill in it. His heart was in his gut, struggling to beat for him. All of this would mean nothing if he was pregnant, his father would win everything.

"Not as much as I am." Loki breathed miserably.

Silence took over and Laufey gave his attentions back to work. Loki tried his best not to notice Thor and Nuada watching them with their fathers, he couldn't guarantee his manners would hold if they approached. This was all their fault, horrid perverted bastards.

Finally when the proceedings began the servants came around with drinks and snacks as the healers gathered and prepared for the test. Laufey kept up small talk, trying and failing not to sound as hopeful as he was. Thrym appeared at some point with a small Asgard-sized plate filled with food, and Loki took it gratefully. He brushed his fingers against Thrym's hand in thanks, but he couldn't find the strength to speak. Thyrm smiled softly, and Loki knew all was forgiven.

For the next while Loki stood quietly as he forced down the food, thinking up possible reactions from everyone when it turned out he was not pregnant. And his _own_ reaction _should_ he be pregnant. Laufey passed him odd looks as he swallowed the food whole, but Loki knew what he was pegging his ravenous behaviour to.

Before Loki was ready, before he had even wiped his mouth, Laufey escorted them to the healers as soon as the last of them finished their drink. Their crowd consisted of the two foreign parties, a few of the court and the healers, and a few guards in case a fight broke out over Loki. Everyone present waited in a room adjacent to the actual examination room that Loki was taken into, where Berhuir stood with two other healers. The man had fixed many of Loki's injuries since he was born, it gave comfort as well as fear seeing as he was usually attentive. His secret couldn't get out.

"My king," Berhuir bowed. Laufey nodded at him, and placed a hand on Loki's shoulder.

"We'll be waiting." Laufey said, _threatened_ , and left the room. Loki flinched minutely at the sound of the door closing, and turned his weary gaze on Berhuir.

Berhuir didn't look as nervous as he was, and gestured calmly to the overly large table set out. "Come Loki."

Loki would much rather have run out and gone to hide, but he took a deep breath and climbed onto the table. There was no avoiding this. He sat with his legs hanging, now thinking only of the potion being revealed. _It couldn't_.

"Excited?" Berhuir asked as he dipped his fingers in a strange oil brought from the other healers. Loki stared, horrified, and pressed his knees together tightly. Berhuir didn't sound as if he expected an answer, he was asking simply out of duty. But when he spoke again it was out of nostalgia. "I remember all the times your dam came in here when he was expecting. Such a fussy little thing, any injury brought him in here. Never too careful with his babes' lives."

"…I miss him." Loki mumbled to his knees. He didn't like to think of his dam, it just made him sad rather than comforted. He was gone, before Loki could properly appreciate him.

"He would be proud of how strong you've grown to be."

Loki took in those words with an expectant smile, and tried to focus on what was happening. His heart was speeding in fear of being caught, but it had been worth the try. It had been worth it. All worth it.

"What will happen?" he asked, his voice squeaking guiltily. He eyed those large fingers reluctantly, but Berhuir waved for him to lie down, and when he did he rubbed the oil over his belly, rather than between his legs.

"Just a simply searching of finding a life force inside the womb." Berhuir's fingers prickled with magic to back his words, and Loki shivered.

"S-so with simple magic?"

"Yes. Lie Still."

For the next few minutes, Loki lay stiff, barely breathing, barely blinking. He was terrified that Berhuir would find the potion in his body, it almost outweighed the fear of being pregnant. His heart was in his mouth, his gut was clenched unnaturally and his toes were curled. Twice the other healers tried to calm him down with useless words, but they were clueless as to his new worry. They crooned around him, making him want to cry and scream and cry some more. This was so unfair.

The test seemed to go on forever. His anxiety only increased as Berhuir tried for a third time. Loki recognised the same hand motions, and tried to watch as the magic portrayed a pretty white haze above his belly area. Berhuir mentioned it was his life-force, and if he were pregnant, it would have a tiny red or blue scatter right in the middle that belonged to the life within him. While all eyes were on stomach area, his were jumping from Berhuir's face to the haze and back again in case his secret showed up in some way.

He prayed quietly to himself, begging the potion to stay hidden.

But eventually, Berhuir stopped and the magic dissipated, and he looked humbly disappointed rather than disturbed. Loki let out the biggest breath of his life.

"It seems there is nothing, child." Berhuir said, and squeezed his arm. There was a certain other look in his eyes, but Loki didn't want to be so hopeful as to think it was relief. His heart pounded in his chest in his own bout of relief and he worked on uncurling his tense body.

"Wait here, I will deliver the news." Berhuir said, and Loki sat up violently. The healers jumped, and Loki just managed to keep from jumping off the table with a babble of guilty excuses. He had to stay calm, the potion was still a secret, and it wasn't unknown for pregnancies to _not_ happen, for Norn's sake. Calm calm calm fuck he wasn't pregnant oh thank fuck gods he could die

"Get him some fresh ice to chew, he's in a small panic." Berhuir said, and a healer rushed to do so. Loki wanted to deny that, but he couldn't find his voice and was panting heavily. Maybe it was best to just stay as he was before drawing more attention.

In the waiting area, the men grew restless. Laufey was about to intervene when Berhuir emerged. He didn't look as positive as Laufey hoped, and Laufey felt his hope drop.

Behur bowed as everyone stood. "My kings, princes, court."

"Berhuir. And?" Laufey asked impatiently.

"…I am sorry to say, Loki is empty. There is no babe."

A small hum of reactions passed through the room, but Berhuir ignored them in favour of enduring Laufey's pathetic disappointment. "…Are you certain?

"Yes, my king."

"Nothing?" Odin asked, frowning with his one eye.

"Are you sure?" Laufey stressed.

Berhuir sighed. "I've triple checked. Loki is empty."

Laufey nodded as the information sunk in, and slowly turned to the kings and their sons. He hesitated, then stood tall. "I apologize."

Odin reacted first and waved a hand, looking less concerned than all of them. "It's no matter, Loki may be young but the first children are always the hardest to conceive. Especially when you are waiting on them." Thor nodded, completely ignorant on the topic, but unwilling to be singled out for an explanation.

Laufey shared a tense smile with Odin, but Balor was looking unsure, and turned his near blind gaze to Nuada. "Has Loki denied you?"

"No Loki did nothing wrong." Nuada said too quickly, but he didn't change his tune even when a dozen brows rose. Thor kept his mouth sealed.

"Perhaps the foreign of your blood is the problem?" Thrym asked from a corner.

"Possible yes, but it's happened multiple times before. Perhaps give him a fertility potion?" Odin suggested.

Balor made a noise of protest before anyone else could. "No, then the one who has him next could almost certainly impregnate him and I can imagine you will not give us that chance without a fight."

"We'll keep it natural, fertility potions are not healthy on our bodies. We are fertile enough." Laufey said, eyeing Odin and Balor who were starting to glare at one another. Odin relented much too easily than they were used to and mumbled an agreement. Thor looked uncomfortable, Nuada was frowning at the floor and Balor was glaring at everyone.

Laufey gave a great sigh, and looked up as if tired. "Another six days we try then?" he offered, and the kings murmured their agreement. Thor blew the air out of his cheeks, and Nuada lifted his gaze to join his father in glaring. The court started discussing the decision, but there was nothing else to be done. Thrym was usually vocal when it came to individual cases handled by the court rather than boring kingly duties, he liked to handle issues involving people rather than taxes, but he didn't make a peep.

Odin and Balor looked to be openly snubbing each other, much to the Jotun court's amusement, and Laufey loudly suggested they all depart to get some air. He gave Thrym a look for his odd behaviour, and eventually went in to see Loki.

He was met with a large-eyed puddle of nervousness.

"I am sorry, father." Loki blurted as soon as Laufey opened the door. Laufey ushered Loki in, a hand on his shoulder, and gave the healers the cue to get out. When they were alone Loki started to babble again, and Laufey raised a hand to pat Loki's chest.

"Hush, I am not mad."

"I'm sorry. I'm trying. I am. I let them, every night—" It was the truth, as well as a lie, but he was terrified of both, so the whole situation was easily concealed. He wasn't sure why he was apologising, he just knew he couldn't be caught out. If his father wasn't mad then Berhuir truly did find nothing, but he didn't want any suspicion on his part while he was still a wreck of nerves. And what happened now that he wasn't pregnant? Anything was better than being pregnant though, he had already decided it would all be worth it.

"Calm down. I know. Nuada came to your defence. This _is_ your first mating, and they are not Jotun, I suppose a delay is to be expected." Laufey said, and brought Loki to his chest where he hugged him. Loki tried to nod, but he was shaking rather violently. He could feel his father was disappointed but he couldn't care less. Trying to calm his nerves was top priority. It was all okay, _it was okay_.

When he managed to get a good permanent lungful of air, he tried to speak. "…Wh-what now?"

Laufey released him and rubbed his arms thoughtfully. "Now you try again, another six days."

That was to be expected. He could manage. He could. He was learning. He could.

"…Yes father."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

After the test, Odin and Balor were to leave. Odin masked his reactions much better than Balor, who seemed to have no shame in grumbling all the way out for all of Jötunheimr to hear. Odin seemed indifferent, and somehow the Jotuns were bias enough to still be more offended by him. Thor and Nuada bid their fathers goodbye, taking their time, and eventually they were escorted back to the palace by a group of guards. When they arrived the guards took their leave, and Thor shot Nuada a light chuckle.

"Better luck next time, ey?"

Nuada hummed. "Aye."

They stood together for a moment. Nuada was staring off at the misty mountains, his face troubled, but far calmer than his father. Thor couldn't help staring at him, _into_ him. He was confused.

"…Why are you here, Nuada?"

"To marry Loki."

"Even now after I've had him too?"

"That will haunt us both, I believe."

Thor paused, frowning openly. He shifted on his feet, and followed Nuada's gaze as if he was staring at the answer. "…Truly, Nuada, why? I wouldn't be here it not for my father. What is your motive?"

"To gain a queen for my throne, Thor." Nuada said, as if Thor had asked the question a dozen times.

Thor pulled a face as he looked at the Jotuns about. "But why Loki?"

"Why not?" Nuada said, with a laugh. He looked at Thor, and scoffed at him. He sobered after, and became serious. "The only other princess available is in Vanaheimr but she has not yet had her blood, she is far too young."

"I've heard the Elves practice incest. And wouldn't that make Nuala the only other eligible princess in the realms?"

Nuada stared back at him, but chose not to answer that. "…I chose Loki because I desired a strong partner. Someone to match me. Someone special. My father and I examined each realm, and found Loki was the best option. Smart, skilled, proud. Utterly…magical. He is beautiful."

"…I see." Thor mumbled. Nuada had little hope that he truly did _see_. He folded his arms curiously.

"And you? Thor. Why are you vying for Loki?" _Why is Asgard vying for Loki._

Thor shrugged, hunching over like a guilty child. "Just following orders."

Nuada's lip curled. "And should you win, will everything from there continue to be just that? Orders?"

"I'm hoping not. But Loki is…difficult."

"Perhaps, but it's nothing a little patience won't fix."

"What of his skin?"

"His skin?"

"His…his race. You don't care that he is a _prince_? …A Jotun?"

Nuada couldn't help but laugh. He knew exactly what was bothering Thor, what he was hinting to, but he had heard so many stories he hadn't thought Thor would have such a problem here. He was neither hoping nor dreading for Thor to show a positive manner towards Loki sexually as each affected Loki's wellbeing, but with all the tales one would think all Thor was content with was a basic hole for his cock. "Are all your exploits of ravishing around the realms false?"

"I am just used to maidens."

Nuada nodded in confirmation. "Understandable. But I would've thought you were experienced in all manners of passion."

Thor shrugged again, looking off, and the smile that sprung upon his face was definitely not one Nuada cared to see. "So did I. But Loki is teaching me new things."

"…Loki deserves the best." Nuada growled.

Thor looked back at him, flaring suddenly with the Odinson arrogance. "And who would that be? Asgard is leading in the realms, isn't it?"

Nuada dropped his arms abruptly, enough to alarm Thor into a defensive step back, and sneered. "Thor, your priorities are sickening. Look at me and tell me to my face that there is nothing wrong with what you just said."

In a flash Thor was staring, mouth agape, exuding confusion. He was so clueless it _hurt_. Nuada bit back his anger and shot him a dirty look, and stalked off past him with his fists clenched.

"You don't deserve him."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Surprisingly, Loki was granted that day and night to himself. The old healer suggested giving Loki's body one full day and night without activity so it might produce better results the next time. Laufey and the kings agreed to that, and Loki had never realised how much he loved the gift of solitude. He was just so happy and relieved he almost couldn't contain it, despite the foolishness of it as he would have to breed for another six days afterwards. three more nights each. Six more nights. It was nothing if it would eventually mean his freedom from them, it was nothing as long as his trick didn't get caught, and so far the test hadn't pulled up anything. He could manage another round, it was going to be okay. He didn't get caught and he wasn't pregnant. _He didn't get caught and he wasn't pregnant_ _fuck he was happy_

Maybe the fates were favouring him after all.

Having a day to himself was more enjoyable than Loki remembered. He had no obligations, so he made a turn straight back to his room. He decided to take his potion anyway, just to be sure, and spent a few hours to himself, just _being_. The silence and solitude was glorious, he had huddle on his bed just trying to calm his nerves. At one point he was genuinely confused that he _wasn't_ pregnant, then became ecstatic at the notion. He shifted between awed and giddy multiple times that day, enough to encourage him to leave the room in search of food.

Thrym was apparently busy with their father, but Loki felt a little guilty for taking off at him so he was glad. Thrym didn't deserve his wrath. When leaving his room, he snuck about so not to catch attention, he didn't feel like company on his little private celebration. The servants in the kitchens were mostly dams, many of whom watched him grow up, and allowed him a nibble of everything as he passed through. They even sneaked him a glass of wine, and he left with a happy glow.

But on the way back to his room he was intercepted.

It was Hrym, and he bowed pointedly.

"Prince Loki, good day."

"Hrym," Loki acknowledged. He looked past Hrym's figure, he wanted to go curl up in bed, maybe with a clone to keep him good company.

Hrym didn't seem to care and folded his arms in a scolding manner over his broad chest. "All of this could be avoided, prince."

Loki blinked. Then pressed his lips together. Then scowled; there went his good mood. Briefly he looked around in case Helblindi had somehow gotten back in the palace, then turned his glare back at Hrym.

"And that would happen, how, exactly?" he snarled.

Hrym didn't disappoint in his answer, and spoke as if exasperated. Like Loki _asked_ for Thor and Nuada to be here. "You could just let Helblindi have you."

Loki snorted angrily. "That is not my choice to make." That was the truth too.

"Isn't it? There is nothing you can do?" Hrym dropped his arms suddenly and stepped forward. Loki's expression faltered and he stepped back instinctively. "Helblindi would kill for you, die for you, you shouldn't have run from him."

Guilt trips didn't work with him, not when he truly didn't care. He wasn't called the Ice Prince under muttered breaths for nothing. "He was going to—"

"He would have saved you from this humiliation."

"He wants to fuck me."

Hrym backed him up against a wall. His face was calm, but held a certain darkness to it that started to make Loki feel uncomfortable. Hrym poked a finger gently in his chest. "To _mate_ you. And you should let him. You _should_ let him. You could be under those aliens for months without conceiving, is that what you want? Do you enjoy it, is that is?"

Loki balked with a hot tinge to his face, and slapped his finger away, but it wasn't enough to make him move back. "No! How dare you—!"

"No, how dare _you_. Helblindi has been waiting centuries—"

"He could have come and told me that himself. Told my father."

"He has—"

"By doing what? Staring at me from afar, imagining all the things he could do to me? I don't know everything about mating and courting, but there is much more to it than lusting from afar." Loki panted, full of anger. He paused, staring up defiantly as he watched the thought whirl in Hrym's eyes. "I don't want anyone, Helblindi included." He added firmly.

Hrym took another moment to answer, shaking his head. He looked disappointed, almost upset. "You are making a mistake, Loki. Helblindi will make a good mate, I have known him since childhood. We know you are young, we understand but—"

Loki wasn't hearing this. "Fuck off." He spat, and slipped past him, intending to stalk all the way to his room and now maybe have a brawl with his clone. But Hrym caught his arm and yanked him back roughly, squeezing his flesh to get his attention. Loki winced and pulled, but Hrym wasn't humouring him. Loki kept trying, clawing determinedly at his large hand. "Let go."

"Helblindi isn't the only one either. Your father has robbed a lot of us of you."

With an escalating heart beat, Loki began to struggle worriedly. "I am not his mule to give away. Let go!"

"Yes, you are. And the sooner you accept that, the better this will be."

Loki felt the wall again and winced as his arm started to throb. He had never been a match for his people. He was good, but if it came to life and death, he knew he would lose. And he had no doubt that pregnancy would become a much realer fear if one of them fucked him.

With that in mind and Hrym's increasingly disturbing proximity he panicked and started to struggle violently. It was a waste though, Hrym was solid and pressing him into the wall. Hrym grabbed his chin and turned his face, and buried his face into his neck. Loki's breath hitched and he endured a vulgar shiver at the hot breath that wafted over his skin.

Hrym's mouth opened over his neck. "Loki…"

Then Hrym was gone with a grunt, and Loki fell against the wall, looking up at a back. Hrym was backing up, glaring at the new comer.

"Take a long walk off a short cliff before I shove you off." It was Byleistr, and Loki had never been so happy to see him.

Hrym reluctantly took off without even a glance at Loki. It was no loss to Loki, who heaved against the wall, rubbing his bruise. Byleistr turned back to look down at him, and suddenly Loki felt like a child again. He swallowed guiltily and looked up with wet eyes, holding on the tears. He pushed himself up straight.

"…Byleistr, thank—"

"You do know you are only making things harder for yourself, yes?"

Loki flinched. "…I don't—I don't know what you—"

"I know you don't like this, not all of us do, but you need to stop thinking like a child. You need to stop, Loki, you and Thrym. This is happening. You are in a position to be a queen, queens are clever. They don't hide behind childish schemes to postpone the inevitable. I am not blind to your worries, but you are too smart to waste this opportunity to have Asgard under your foot."

What was Byleistr saying? Loki didn't want his brothers telling him such things, it only made me feel more alone. But Byleistr wasn't finished.

"Would you _like_ to be stuck here all your life? Breeding for Helblindi? Being his good little mate?" Loki flinched again, and Byleistr pointed in the direction of the gates. "Is conquering Asgard or Álfheimr not a more rewarding path? Mother conquered father, not the other way around. Stop letting them conquer you, Loki. Learn to be a queen, learn to command, and you will find richer schemes to pursue."

Loki was gaping openly now. What was Byleistr talking about? What did he know? Why was he saying these things? Did _no_ one want him anymore?

Byleistr reached up and petted his hair in a manner Loki had long forgotten. "I am not siding with father, but I do care about you, and this is what our dam would've said. Think on it when you've come down from your smugness."

Then Byleistr petted his cheek with surprising fondness, and walked off. Loki stared after him, his entire mood splattered across the floor.

He was lost.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No just joking.
> 
> But I postpone that statement. Sorry for the boring chapter, but life isn't always exciting. Loki needs some rest. Nuada day next chapter.


	15. Nuada day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki fights with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Back to the grind stone.  
>    
>  _I apologise for errors_

**Chapter 15: Nuada day 4**

The next morning found Loki rising on his lonesome. It took him a moment to realise that there was no mating aftermath to clean up, and no Thrym or servant prodding him awake. He hummed in delight and stretched out his toes, pointing them as far as they could go and drew up his arms and shoulders, arching his body in the most delicious stretch he'd had in a couple of days. There was tension lingering from his anxiety yesterday, but otherwise he was relaxed and limp.

And he wasn't pregnant.

Thinking over his luck yesterday, Loki dropped his stretch with a good humoured chuckle. He sighed contentedly into the bedding and snuggled in further, then started full out laughing. _He wasn't pregnant._ Oh, one day he will make a generous offering to Vanaheimr for their help in bringing that recipe to Jötunheimr. How funny things worked, what would he have done without it?

Loki shifted onto his back and ran his hands down his stomach. He had never felt such relieve in his life. The potion had worked for him. It had worked. All his stressing had been for nothing. Well, not for _nothing_ , but it had worked after all. He was still free.

… _Lies…_ said a miniscule voice in the back of his head. Loki ignored it and pushed it down, far away, and rolled out of bed. He sat up lazily, stretching his limbs and moaning softly at the pops. The entire bed was ruffled, like usual, but this time it was purely from him dominating it. Soon it would be like that again.

' _Until Helblindi takes you._ '

"Shut up," he said this time, the voice annoyingly louder, and pushed off the bed. There were cleaning utensils already brought in, waiting at the foot of the bed. He looked at the door, and wondered why no one was here badgering him. Maybe they were all disappointed with him, maybe they were giving him the silent treatment, maybe this was a punishment. Oh this was heaven.

With a smug skip in his step, Loki set his lips in a determined manner and cleaned up for the morning. He spent the good half of an hour doing so, until he was feeling fresh and clean and for once, unsullied. He dressed in his usual Jötunheimr garb, knowing Nuada wouldn't dare say a thing, and set his hair right the way he liked it. It was getting a little thick and frizzy though, which was odd. The last time his hair had gotten poofy and unruly was when he visited Asgard as a child, his father used to say it was the warmth in the climate. It wasn't nearly as bad now though, but it was odd. He made a note to keep track of its condition, and jumped as two knocks rang through the room.

"Come in."

It was Berhuir, the healer. Why was he here? Loki straightened somewhat, and tried to keep the influx of guilt from showing.

"Good morn, Prince Loki. How are you fairing?" Berhuir stepped up to him, raising his brow just enough to make Loki want to fidget with his fingers.

"I'm fine. I am well. Well rested, thank you for suggesting to my father that I have a night alone."

"The health of the royal family is my job."

Berhuir ended there with a strange smile. Loki waited for him to continue, but he seemed to be enjoying making Loki's toes curl. Loki smiled somewhat impatiently and shrugged. "Is there something you need of me?" Gods if he knew about the potion…how bad would he feel if he killed this man…?

"I made you something," Berhuir lifted his fist. There was material peeking out around his thick fingers, but nothing Loki recognised.

Still, Loki grudgingly opened his palm and took whatever it was. There was a small weight to it, and Berhuir encouraged him to take a look. Loki did so with the utmost reluctance purely out of respect for the man.

It was a vial of liquid, wrapped in the furs.

"…What is this?" Loki turned it over, but he couldn't recognise the brew. His heart stuttered, and he glanced up beneath his lashes. Did Berhuir know? Did he know, and this was a stronger potion? Berhuir had always been good to him, maybe he was on his side? Maybe he lied to everyone yesterday? An ally would be a tremendous help right now, Loki wanted to kiss him. …But if this was what he thought, why was Berhuir doing this and what did he expect in return? No one was that selfless…ew.

"I understand you are having problems, this will help."

"Help? …Help _how_?" Loki really hated the way this man avoided the point.

"It's a light aphrodisiac."

Loki blinked. And blinked again. Twice more.

"It's not a fertility potion, do not fret. This is made with natural mixtures from our bodies, it will help you easy into the mating rather than you struggling. It's meant to be smelt, so just rub a little under your nose before you go to bed and it will become much easier."

Loki wanted to cry. He really wanted to, and scream and rant, but he wouldn't. His heart sunk and the vial suddenly felt like a bolder. Berhuir watched him awkwardly as if waiting for some anticipated reaction. Deep down Loki didn't blame him, he was famous for being difficult and wanting things his way, but he would not satisfy today. Instead he swallowed the lump in his throat and lowered his hand, raising his face carefully.

"Thank you."

Berhuir stared into his face, unashamed of looking suspicious. Loki put on a smile just to annoy him. "You are thoughtful." He added.

"Yes, well, I don't like seeing you upset."

"I'll be fine now, thank you." Loki all but pointed at the door, smiling all the more wider as he rolled the vial in his palm. Berhuir stared at him, but he couldn't stare through him. The old healer nodded, and bowed.

"Very good, little prince. Enjoy your day."

"I shall."

Berhuir left without stalling, leaving Loki to sigh loudly, dramatically. He turned around in a circle, throwing aside the material the vial came in to lift it into the light from his window.

"Such a vile vial," he chuckled to himself, turning it this way and that. The liquid was clear with a soft lilac hue, it looked pretty enough, _convincing_ enough. "Vile," he repeated with a sneer. Yeah he would not be using this. Over his dead body. They'd have to hold him down and shove it up his nose first.

Having seen and felt all he needed to, he created a replica on his table among the few Nuada had requested for. It stood out, the vial was smaller than all the others, but he could easily keep up the pretence by removing some of the lilac hue each day. No one would know, unless the servants or someone paranoid decided to take a sniff themselves.

He couldn't help himself though, and popped off the corked curiously. He lifted it and took a cautious sniff, but almost immediately his hair stood on end and a sharp pull of arousal jumped in his gut. He hissed and corked it again, rubbing his nose. A heavy shiver descended through him obnoxiously, ending off with a heavy water of his mouth. A hot wave followed, forcing him to literally shake himself as it all pooled tightly in his gut. His nose twitched, sparking memories of that time Helblindi had rubbed something on his li…-

That bastard.

Loki snorted humourlessly, and turned to his window, where he whipped his arm and sent the vial flying. It soared an impressive length before descending and shattering across the icy rocks beyond the wall, giving Loki a small sense of satisfaction at the distant sound of glass smashing.

But with that vial gone, he quickly turned to see to his other. He dug it out of its hiding place, finding a three day supply left. That wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, but he definitely had to make more. He would have to slip away at some point in the next day or so to make it. Yesterday had been the perfect day and he let it go to waste. How stupid! He could have taken a moment from his celebrating and brooding to mix up another supply, it wasn't a long process. Maybe he would have, if Hyrm and Byleistr hadn't ruined his mood. No, can't enjoy one day to himself anymore, someone always needs to add their bit in no matter what.

Talking about adding bits, he was back to mating tonight. He took a potion, bringing its number down to two, along with the familiar warmth inside him. The liquid itself was cold like liquid usually was on Jötunheimr if not frozen, but once it found its way inside him it seemed to react and simmer as though he was a pot. It didn't seem as hot now though, he'd grown used to its warmth, and somewhat dependent.

Loki gave the remaining vials a loving pet for their help, and stashed them away again. Dressed and defended, he stood awkwardly and stared at the door. This truly was weird, why wasn't he being pulled out his room? If everyone else was busy, where was Nuada? He'd come into his room in the morning once before, what was the problem now? Granted last time Loki broke his nose that evening, but he didn't think he prince was scared of a repeat. Maybe he was expected to come out on his own to show he was sorry for the failed results?

Byleistr and his words crossed his mind, making him scowl. He didn't want to take the initiative to be responsible and well behaved like they all wanted, he wanted to be dragged from his room to preserve the notion that he was not agreeing with this. Did they think he would feel bad about not being pregnant, and come out himself to do his _duty_? HAH. _Oh h_ _e wasn't pregnant oh thank the Norns he still couldn't believe it…_

No, in fact, he _would_ go out today, just so he could see their faces, especially his father's. Maybe subtly draw attention to his flat belly. Pity he couldn't literally rub it in his father's face, the old goat.

With that motivation beneath his heels, Loki sucked up his nerve and left the room. There was no one waiting outside for him, save for the guards posted here and there, so he made his way slowly but surely down to breakfast. He could tell he wasn't too late, he was usually an early riser and recognised the morning rituals the servants were doing. Along the way he was watched openly, so he lifted his chest and nose to make his point, gaining attention to his flat belly and unfortunately, his ass.

But no one stopped him, no one taunted him, no one said a thing. He made it down to breakfast with a rather confused expression on his face, which deepened when he saw neither Thor nor Nuada amongst his people. Even Thrym was missing. His father was there though, among a few elderly members of the court. Loki quietly found his way into his usual seat besides his father, and made sure to scrape his chair a bit so to signal his arrival.

"Good morning," he added when Laufey didn't look up from the scroll he was writing on.

"Loki,"

Well, this was awkward. He was sure his father wasn't angry with him, but what else could be going on? The others around the table didn't look particularly scandalous or secretive so it was unlikely the princes had killed each other. It would've been welcomed though, perhaps Thrym was preparing a funeral, it'd be fitting seeing as he had made closest friends with either prince than the rest of them, Loki included. Or maybe they were all having an orgy somewhere. Either way, the reprieve from being stared at and touched was highly welcomed.

With an even lighter mood Loki took his helpings enthusiastically, eating in the same manner. The food settled the simmering in his stomach, but he hardly needed it anymore. His eating caught the attention of his company though, and half way through Laufey decided to put down his quill and take a proper look at him, taking a swig of his drink.

"I see you've your appetite back."

Loki shrugged apathetically. "Just needed a break."

"So I keep hearing," Laufey muttered. He reached over and petted the back of Loki's head affectionately, but Loki chose to act obliviously. Laufey lingered for a few moments, apathetic in return, then went back to his half eaten plate.

"Are you not curious as to where your Álfheimr prince is?" Laufey asked casually.

"Yes." Loki replied in the same tone, much more interested in the sweet breads available. How had he forgotten food was actually a delight to eat?

"Do you want to know where he is?"

"Yes."

"Back on Álfheimr."

Loki looked up sharply.

"What?"

Laufey smirked, now interested in his own food. "Oh, he left quite early back to Álfheimr."

Nuada was gone? He went back to Álfheimr? This was more surprising than Thor trying to be couth. He hadn't thought it would come this soon. What had sent the Elf away? Did they decide they'd waited long enough? Was Loki no longer a desirable target? …Had Nuada had his fulfilment? If the latter, Loki had a realm to burn. Nuada had better not have just up and left, had his fucking and decided he'd had enough like Loki was some common whore. Loki was a prince! He may be subject to degrading duties, but it was all towards a title, like his father loved to say.

…No…why did he care? Why should he care? If Nuada was gone he had one less prince to worry—…but that left Asgard. And if there was no longer competition, that meant he was Asgard's by default…

No.

"…Have they pulled out?" Loki asked, sounding a little too nervous than he intended. Fuck no, that was why his father was looking so at ease! The bastard! "What happened?" he asked louder.

Laufey looked back at him, surprised. "Oh, you actually heard me?"

"Father!"

"Balor is ill," Laufey said suddenly, his tone serious. Loki faulted in surprise and misplaced relief. Laufey sighed through his nose. "Balor is living on borrowed time, he's older than this damn palace. He's going to die soon. Álfheimr sent word he was quite unwell, and Nuada didn't want to miss his father's passing."

Loki stared at him, unsure of what to say. He didn't quite feel any smugness or spiteful enjoyment from hearing such a thing, but he didn't know what he should be feeling either. "He's going to die?"

"Perhaps. If so, the crown will pass to Nuada, and there will be a large event to mourn Balor's passing, and Nuada's crowning. He'll have his entire realm to carry through Balor's death, Elves are oddly woven into their realm's nature and the nature in theirs. Apparently he'll have both people and trees crying around him. It will disrupt our schedule for a child, but with all that sorrow and stress he might choose to forfeit."

Loki shifted uncomfortably, and felt the weight of eyes returning. "…And…Asgard…?"

"Will take you as Thor's bride." Laufey said, clearly trying to conceal his approval on the topic. He studied the look dawning on Loki's face with a conniving edge. "Is that a problem?"

 _Yes_ , Loki wanted to bark, _yes it fucking is_. What use was his potion if Asgard would have him anyway? Balor did indeed look frail and ancient, it _was_ likely he would die at any moment. And seeing as Nuada had his dear sister and a whole realm to care for, why would he come back to beg Loki to be his queen, let alone fuck? He could easily find a wife in his realm, why would he come back after how Loki had treated him? Anyone who cared so for his family had to have a good heart, and thus be offended by the treatment Loki had dished out. … _What a lovely time to acknowledge such a thing. Loki you are so brilliant_

Loki pressed a finger into his left temple to push away his inner voice, and gave a shaky reply. "N-no. No."

"If that comes to pass, I've been advised to invite Queen Frigga back to prepare you. She was a foreign bride as well, apparently, she'll know how to guide you. And I know you're less likely to spit and snarl at her than anyone else."

Loki dived back into his food to escape his father's penetrating gaze. He stuffed his mouth full of bread, and looked around worriedly for Thor, in case the man strode in out of the blue with plans to carry him off.

"That being said, Nuada should arrive back at some point this afternoon if his father still lives. Until then, do me a small favour and at least try put some positive thought into which prince you prefer, maybe then you'd conceive. You know I'd take Asgard but either would be a miracle with you. So take your pick, at least."

"Then why didn't _you_ marry Odin instead of fighting with him?" Loki muttered.

Cutlery screeched around the table and Laufey choked. "What?" he balked, but Loki was eating again.

No wonder no one had come to bother him this morning. It was Nuada's day and he was off world to his father, and despite him being gone it did not give Thor permission to be in Loki's company. In fact, it sounded as if he had the day to himself…

"…I can spend the day alone?" Loki asked softly when the tension died down, staring at his plate.

"Yes, take your rest. And do try be sympathetic if Nuada returns."

He had the day alone. He could make his potion. Things seemed a smidgeon brighter.

After enduring the rest of breakfast, Loki headed off to brew. He sneaked into the herbs storeroom and easily got what he needed, then did the same with the few he needed from the kitchen. Once he had everything he returned to the place he had brewed before, and set up his activity. He reread the instructions a few times, but there was nothing out of the ordinary, nothing he had missed or misread. He was still genuinely surprised it worked, and deeply relieved.

…But if Nuada did not return, he would be taken to Asgard and any protection he had was gone. He would be wed to Thor and Thor could bed him whenever he wished, but he wouldn't have the potion's protection to ward of babies. …Nuada needed to come back, they needed to both give up at the same time, otherwise he'd be pushed to either man. Fuck…it was more unstable a balance than he realised.

If either man dropped out, he would simply marry the other, so all his bitching was really just tipping the boat. He needed them both in order for this to work…how ironic, how dangerous. Perhaps it's best he hadn't punched Thor the way he had Nuada, Thor wasn't said to be a very even tempered man, not to mention he was a spoilt brat that would make a fuss if not given what he wants. …Not that he seemed to even want this, which was bearable as Loki felt the same. Nuada though…

How did his dam do it? Byleistr's visit yesterday gnawed into him, but he didn't want to give it thought. He knew his dam had apparently been just like him, or the other way rather, but they were still very different people. He didn't want to conquer anyone, he just…but what was freedom, really? Freedom was just a wish, something he would never know. If it weren't Thor and Nuada, it'd be Helblindi or another warrior. Byleistr may not be close with him, but the man knew him and what he disliked. But his advice was conquering Asgard. Could that bring him freedom? Yes a queen was the second highest ranking in a realm, but she still had to obey her king, and having to obey Thor was not on his list.

" _Mother conquered father, not the other way around_ _."_

…Perhaps it really was all just about manipulation. Could Thor be conquered? Could all that arrogance and power be pliable with the right leverage? And it certainly wasn't strength that could conquer such a man as Thor, or Laufey, nor was it a simple beautiful smile or words. Loki knew what it was, paired with the right words of course, but could he sacrifice his pride and dignity to turn Thor into his smitten bitch? Men went to wars over females, they were possessive and protective over the fairer sex, did Byleistr expect him to weave the princes into the same mindset for him? Apparently Helblindi already thought that way, and he hadn't even mated with him.

If only his dam was alive, Loki would have asked him so many things. _Did you love father? Did father truly love you? How do I do this? How did you? Is it all worth it?_ _ **How do I do this**_ _?_

Loki put the thoughts of his dam away, they just made him sad. He focused on his brewing, and instead imagined of leaving everything behind, and going somewhere where no one would know him as Laufey's special little son, but where he could make another name for himself. Maybe to Vanaheimr, he could learn glamour and shape-shifting to change his appearance and live among them. They weren't quite like Asgard, or at least they hadn't been for a long time, favouring parties and magic and beauty over war, conquering and shows of dominance. And of course, they had provided him with his potion.

Or maybe Svartálfaheimr, since Álfheimr was now too risky as he could be caught. Who's to say he wouldn't fall into those mushy areas they called swamps and the nature wouldn't somehow get it to Nuada that he was there under their noses. It was a silly idea, but that's the picture that's been painted of them over the years. So maybe Svartálfaheimr, but it lacked anything interesting…

Oh but wait! Midgard! Nuada spoke of Midgard, and his tales backed up the few books Loki had on that realm. Perhaps he could go there instead, among the mortals. With their puny life span, he could end up living a dozen lives among them. Maybe even become a ruler-! Oh…oh that would be good. He'll have strength and magic, surely that would grant him power over the mortals? How strong could they be? Yes, he could settle there, become a king. Or even a deity, his life span alone could fool the mortals. So, realm check, position check. Partner?

 _Would_ he take a queen? Probably not, he had little interest in tending to romance, not to mention _that_ … As soon as he inspected a female top to bottom, maybe then he'd give it thought. But until then a male harem wouldn't hurt, depending on what Midgard had to offer. Surely it had some sturdy men that fucked other men? Unless Midgard had strict views? Asgard loved to throw around the _ergi_ word as an insult, was Midgard the same? Oh well, who cares, as king he could order what he wanted, maybe even eradicate the sexist view. Anyway it would be for _his_ pleasure, so it was no loss to his pride if he had a harem. And after all Nuada had done to him, he had a few good instructions for the harem…

"Already making a harem? Is that not whorish?"

Loki jumped, his spoon clattering to the floor. He looked up to find himself, a clone, sitting besides him as if he'd been there the whole time. The clone raised a patronising brow, and Loki wondered if everyone felt as annoyed as he did right now when on the receiving end.

"Yes, but I won't be the one whoring. I'll be king."

"You have nothing to prove, you know. Insisting on being king says there is something wrong with being queen. You don't believe that, do you?"

Loki scowled. "No, I could make as good a ruler whether as king or queen."

"Then? Why do you need to separate them so?"

"Because everyone else will respect the stature of a king more than a queen. I didn't make the rules, but I am sick of being told I am beneath someone because I can spawn little bastards of royal bastards."

The clone tutted. "It's not the little bastards' faults, don't blame them."

"I won't because there won't _be_ any." Loki gestured to the pot in an exaggerated manner.

"Accidents happen. You could end up getting pregnant on Midgard, then how will you keep your kingly title?"

"Stop ruining my fantasy!"

"Not to mention their shock at a man falling pregnant."

Loki slumped back, and glared at his annoying clone. "I heard the Elves can change gender."

"Have the Midgardians?" the clone retorted. Loki scowled again, he really needed more information on Midgard. …But for now he would enjoy his fantasy.

"Fine then, I won't become a king or queen, I'll go and…" Loki looked around, his eyes passing the window when a thought struck him. "Dragons! I'll go find dragons, and be a dragon…erm…"

"Are you always this articulate? You're putting us to shame—"

"Shut up! Rider, tamer, whatever. Dragon king."

The clone rolled its eyes dramatically. Loki threw his spoon at it.

"War might happen if you leave." The clone said, suddenly very serious.

Loki sobered instantly, and felt a small twinge in his gut. That thought had been sitting far in the back of his mind, never acknowledged. Trust his clone to pull it to the surface.

"That would be ridiculous, the realms value me no more than they do this wager. That is what this is, a wager. I bet Odin and Balor placed bets on who can seed me first." Loki huffed, nabbing his spoon back to stir the brew. "Thor doesn't like me, I don't know why Nuada pretends to like me, and—"

"I think Thor likes us a little, he's been trying to court you."

Loki snorted like a boar. "Oh he's already caught me, what else is there to catch? Wait that's a good one," Loki snorted again, "Court and caught. Beautiful. And if that was Thor trying to court me, he's horrible at it."

"Didn't seem so, the last fuck he gave you."

"I will stab you with this spoon."

"Maybe Byleistr is right," the clone ignored him, and looked down, away from him. "But then everything will change."

"…Which is why I'll be going to Midgard. Now kindly shut up or leave."

Oddly enough, the clone disappeared, and Loki felt a strange sense of loneliness. He continued working on his potion, and tried not to think of all the voices arguing in his head.

He wondered how things were going on Álfheimr. He hoped Balor was still alive, as odd as it felt to hope, as it bought him time. But if he does die it might show Nuada's true colours, maybe he'd give up on this quest now that he was without his father directing him. So much for all his sweet talk, Loki knew just how deceitful and two-faced people could be. At least Thor was up front about everything…

Once the potion was done, Loki filled his vials, stuffed them away in a pouch and cleaned up all the evidence. He left in much the same way as he arrived, quietly and secretively. He managed to sneak about undetected, and sought out Thrym. As it turned out, Thrym was actually with Thor, taking him on a tour of Utgard. Apparently it was 'good for the future kings to bond'. So what the fuck did Loki need to marry Thor for if Thrym was sidling his way into Thor's good books anyway? Why was Thrym even trying so hard? It was unlikely Laufey had to force him to do this, Thrym was usually friendly out of his own. Maybe Byleistr spoke to him too, he mentioned his name yesterday.

While he didn't like it, Loki couldn't deny the logic of it all. Still…

After dawdling around for a while, trying to eavesdrop on the court members for news, ignoring the looks from the servants and actively avoiding bumping into Byleistr, it was dinner time. And still no Nuada.

His father had little to say, in fact he seemed coy, and Thor and Thrym returned laughing like old friends. Loki was by then a miserable lump, and the princes were smart enough to catch onto it and leave him be. He supposed Thrym was just compensating for the lack of interest he showed, and considering he could actually start a war by disrespecting Asgard (wars had been fought for less), he supposed he couldn't blame the future king of Jötunheimr for working to avoid it.

" _See? You're not fit to be a king. Proper kings avoid war. "_

Fighting against people was enough, but fighting against yourself is just as difficult. Loki returned to his room that night with just enough in his belly to keep him from feeling hungry, but his conscious was horribly conflicted.

Then to make it worse, and in a way better, Nuada did return that evening.

And the prince's first action was to apologize.

"I am sorry."

Loki leaned back against the bed rest as Nuada looked into his eyes in earnest, as if he had truly done something wrong. …Which he had, but Loki knew that wasn't what he was apparently apologizing for. The Elf stood before his bed, looking lost as to how to stand for a change.

"For?" Loki prompted snobbishly, right leg laid out, the other pulled up against his chest so it leaned on the right. He had been lying and fretting over whether his father would burst in and announce he was Thor's, and yet as soon as Nuada showed his face, he couldn't stop the attitude and cold exterior from showing over his relief.

"If you had conceived you wouldn't have to endure any more mates." Nuada said, sounding regretful. Loki raised a brow, and wondered if Nuada would actually not touch him again if he had conceived. The man just sounded too good to be true, no one was that nice.

"Pity. Maybe I am not physically ready for a child."

"Conceiving can take a while, but the stress you're under cannot be helping."

While Nuada no longer looked as malevolent or intimidating as before, Loki sighed in a new realisation. Was it possible to be feeling indifferent? Bored even? Now that he knew his potion was working, and Balor was most likely alive, he just wanted this all to be over already, including Nuada's sweet words. They were too sweet, no one was that sweet…

"…Can we just get it over with?" Loki asked, trying not to sound irritable. Nuada already looked distracted, probably because of his father, and admittedly Loki didn't feel sadistic enough to add to his troubles by being particularly difficult. He was obviously fretting his father would die and he'd be left to face Asgard alone, so he probably wanted to mate again and feel like he was making progress. Otherwise he wouldn't be here. It was actually surprising he returned, maybe he did actually want this. …Best get it over with.

Nuada didn't argue against his suggestion, and patted his palms together in thought. "Perhaps a different…" he started, watching as Loki grudgingly lifted his butt to slip off his loincloth. "…position would be more fruitful?"

Loki rolled his eyes and kicked the clothing off the side of the bed. He pulled his knees up anyway to hide himself until Nuada joined him, and gave a callous shrug. "If the traditional isn't working how will another?"

Pulling off his shirt and tossing it aside, Nuada went around to his usual side of the bed. "Perhaps…on your hands and kn-"

"No." Loki said, harshly, alarming Nuada. "…Thor likes that." He said, so Nuada knew not to ask again.

Nuada pulled a face at the thought, but nodded. He started fiddling with his trousers, but his efforts were half-hearted at best. Loki refused to acknowledge the fear of a bland and painful mating with him.

"…Well, we could-"

"Just do the usual." Loki sighed, his skin starting to crawl. But out of everything that could have happened, Nuada stopped undressing and looked sadly at him.

"I'm sorry. Would you like to talk first?"

"Talk?" Loki repeated, dryly.

"Or possibly punch me again?"

Loki tightened his lips and looked away in a nasal huff. He looked back with a frustrated wince. "Why are you trying so hard?"

"Because I care."

Loki laughed, and gazed up at him with a venomous smile he hoped was ugly. "Why do you care?"

"Because I should. I have to care even more now with Thor ruining this, and I have to care because you matter. We could—we hopefully—will be married and as your husband I should take care of you and make sure you are well." Nuada said. This time he tried to climb on the bed, but Loki got up without thinking and kneeled before him. He held a warning hand out, and blurted words he knew he shouldn't say.

"I don't want to get married! I want to be free!"

Nuada had the audacity to look frustrated, but it was so unlike him Loki couldn't be angry, but darkly amused and interested. The prince raised his hands over his chest in a heartfelt manner. "I will not lock you away, Loki! Give me a chance, allow me to make this as endurable as possible. Even if I weren't here, Thor would be. Don't torment yourself by resisting. I had planned on spending all these days here with you trying to win your heart as well as your hand with affections instead of children. But I cannot avoid that now, it will give Thor all the chance of winning you. I will be good to you Loki, give me a chance."

…Loki just couldn't. Nuada was right, his words were again sweet and promising, but he was also wrong, and Loki did not want to acknowledge the part that was right. He couldn't. He just…everything would change.

"…You'll take me away from my home." He whispered as he pulled his hand back, to which Nuada had no answer. "…I don't like children." He added, meekly.

"Marriage is a partnership, you will not be alone. And you may visit Jötunheimr often, and write, and have visitors. You may bring all your personal comforts—"

"Nuada…" Loki shook his head, and sunk down into the bed. He looked up, and realised he was no longer livid with the man, but tired. "…I'm sure you'll make a great husband. I just…" How did he phrase it? If Asgard hadn't butted in and Nuada had indeed tried to win him with affections he just might have been impressed. He just might have encouraged it. He just might have toyed with the idea of being a foreign queen to the handsome Elf stranger. But he was forced into this _caught_ ship and passed back and forth without even being asked if he supported it. He'd always known deep down he would be made to marry someone his father chose, but he was Loki Laufeyson, he was different, in mind and body, and this hurt him.

"Please let's just finish tonight." He said eventually, and moved aside for Nuada to join him. And for the first time during mating, Nuada looked as sad as he did.

When the other failed to get on the bed, Loki shot him an irritable glower. Nuada shook his head in return, but climbed on and leaned in pleadingly. "Allow me to court you."

Loki couldn't help but laugh. He laughed, good and long, until the pain on Nuada's face sobered him into bitterness. "Court me? I am a little sullied for that don't you think? Do you want me to bend over and prove it?" Nuada looked away, and Loki continued smugly. " _Court_ , such a pretty word. Do you know what I hear when someone says that? That decent noble word? _Trap_. You're trapping me, cornering me—you're _catching_ me. **Caught**. _That_ is what I hear. You've already _caught_ me, Prince Nuada."

Unexpectedly Nuada leaned away. "…Would you prefer Thor?"

Loki groaned loudly and threw his hands out. "No! He is worse than you! And I am not complimenting you, I'm just—"

Nuada manoeuvred his way next to Loki and slipped a hand around his face to cup his cheek. Loki allowed it, and Nuada gazed into his face passionately. "Help me, Loki, tell me how to appease you."

Now with the opportunity, Loki was reminded just how handsome Nuada was, how exotic he was. And how fucking good at mating he was. A shameful flush ran through his body as their breaths mingled, but he didn't try to stop it. He smiled, shrugging in an apathetic manner. "That won't happen."

"A chance, Loki, I beg."

Loki pulled out of Nuada's grasp and leaned away, but kept eye contact. He narrowed his eyes, and lifted his face to peer at him. "…Will you destroy Thor and send him back to his father broken and without his wielding hand?"

The silence that followed was almost funny, as was the look on Nuada's face. He obviously hadn't been expecting that. So Loki continued again with the first things that came to mind.

He leaned forward, seductively, a leg folding over the other in a manner that did not fail to win a glance from the prince. "Do that, and I'll let you catch me. Then you can mount me as often as you wish."

Nuada had trouble keeping his eyes on Loki's face, but he was clearly no idiot. "…In return for war with Asgard?"

"I was under the impression that you hold disdain for them as well."

"Perhaps but that would not be a kingly thing to do."

Loki leaned away as punishment. "I disagree. Asgard has gotten away with it."

Nuada sighed. "Many, _many_ years ago. I cannot do that."

"Oh? Not even for me? Whom you and Thor have gone to such great lengths to _caught_?"

Raising his palms, Nuada cringed lightly. "I understand, you wish us both gone—"

" _No_ , you most certainly do not understand." Loki snapped, and slapped away his hands.

"Loki we all must do things we don't want to, that is what life is about. Life cares not for fairness. But it does give us everything we need to survive."

"…Yes, it does." His potion was helping him survive. And as long as he had that, he would be okay. Sniffing, Loki shifted away a bit and lay back, sporting the most reluctant tone he could. "Fuck me and be finished."

To Nuada's defence, the man took a good few minutes struggling on whether to strip or leave. But he stripped anyway, all the while looking as if _he_ was the one being used as a broodmare. When he turned to the vials he noticed the new one, and curiously reached for it. He jumped when his fingers went through it, proving it to be some kind of illusion. He waved his fingers through it a few times, and looked at Loki.

"Don't ask." Loki muttered, throwing an arm over his eyes. He lifted his knees and bumped them together lightly, both wishing Nuada would see he didn't actually want this, but wanting the whole endeavour to be over as soon as possible.

' _Not that there is anything to endure here…'_

"Shut up!"

Nuada looked up in surprise, in the middle of pouring oil into his palm. Loki stiffened, realising what he'd done. He chose to act oblivious and cleared his throat awkwardly, leaving Nuada to try stare through his arm.

The oil begun to overflow and Nuada swore softly when it hit his thighs. He put down the vial and held his hand over the bed so to save the bedding. He glanced worriedly at Loki, but the younger prince refused to relent. Nuada took the moment to coat himself, trying not to rock the bed whilst forcing an erection.

It took Nuada another good few moments to get in place, hesitantly nudging Loki's knees apart. Loki wasn't much help, his limbs stiff and his mouth set in a rather petty pout.

Nuada sighed. He increased the strength behind his movements and hooked his hands beneath Loki's knees. He pulled Loki towards him as he spread open his legs. Loki made a surprised noise in protest and glared up at him, already sticking his hands against Nuada's chest. Nuada parted his knees further and slipped Loki's thighs over his own so the younger had some leverage. Loki allowed it, but kept a small pressure on Nuada's chest as he was adjusted.

Part of Loki wondered if he should have just kept the vial Berhuir had brought him. It was no lie that the mating would be easier and possibly faster, even more enjoyable, but he didn't want to enjoy it, or seem as if he wanted this. Enjoying it was a signal to his body that a baby should be made, and he was not going to play the exotic whore for these men.

' _Would it be so bad? You're getting used to it. See, that feels good. Something so good can't be bad,_ '

_No no no he couldn't enjoy it that would be betraying himself he only had himself to rely on he couldn't let himself down it wasn't good no no no_

While Loki had his internal argument, Nuada took to rubbing his hard palms up and down Loki's body, tracing the curves and dips until he lowered and captured Loki's breast in a wet kiss. It brought Loki out of his thoughts and he moaned involuntarily. Nuada's tongue was warm and wet, pressing against his nipple as his hands dipped around into the small of his back, their cocks making contact. The proximity sent a filthy thrill through Loki and he moaned again, tired of resisting something good. It was too easy to enjoy.

"Let me have you," Nuada whispered, mouthing at the other nipple, scratching as he pulled his hands back. Sparks shot through Loki and his body twitched with interest. He could feel Nuada's cock pressing against him, hot and heavy, coating his with oil.

Then Nuada suddenly captured him in a kiss, slapping their bodies together. Loki jerked in surprise, his first instinct to fight. He pushed against Nuada's shoulders as the man coerced his tongue into a fierce dance. Unlike him, his body didn't feel quite so adverse and bucked against Nuada, his hands pulling, his legs tightening. The kiss soon grew desperate to the point it was angry. They panted heavily together like wounded animals, and Loki started scratching back.

Instantly Nuada broke their oral contact to hiss, and Loki felt wetness at his finger tips. But Nuada initiated another kiss in record time and started rolling his hips, so Loki dug his fingers harder whether or not it was bearable.

Nuada stuck it out as Loki clawed at him, lapping and pawing at Loki until Loki was hard too, then took a moment to guide himself in. Loki grunted, his reluctance far greater than the tiny inkling of pain brought on. As usual there was no problem taking Nuada, he was slick and ready, so Loki pulled back his hands and held onto Nuada's biceps, determined to remain passive now for the actual deed.

But then Nuada took his right hand and stuck two of his bloodied fingers into his mouth, and stared thrusting as he sucked the blood off. There wasn't a fire's chance in Jötunheimr to keep Loki from reacting. Loki spluttered out a mixture of awed moans and curse words, wanting to stop this but at the same time lifting his hips. Then to make matters worse Nuada grabbed his cock with his spare hand and started to work it, keeping up the smooth thrusting into Loki's body. The sounds that left Loki's mouth left his skin navy blue.

There were far too many sensations. His whole hand was burning, his cock was aching and his hole was pulsing, all working on driving him over the edge faster than he thought possible. His eyes fluttered and rolled back into his head, his neck arching back out. Nuada was balls deep now, Loki could hear and feel them slapping against his cheeks beneath his embarrassing calling. He sounded like a wild beast, like the ice wolves that roamed the reaches of the mountains when they were in their mating season. Their shrieks and howling could be heard all the way to the castle, making for amusement among the residents. Loki had always been annoyed by it, but he now knew to be in this state of primal influence was not something to be controlled or tamed.

Fighting was lost to Loki so he held on awkwardly, stiff but twitching as wave after wave of pleasure lifted him higher and higher and _higher_ until he came with an angry shriek, ripping his fingers from Nuada's mouth and scratching bloody welts into his chest. He endured a long orgasm, hating it and loving it all at once, scratching off his attacker whilst bucking his hips for as much cock as he could get.

Nuada leaned over with a few last angry thrusts, his eyes closed in what Loki could only imagine was pain and pleasure, hissing out his own release. A small gasp found its way from Loki as he felt the warm seed settle inside him, and for the first time, Loki felt the strangest sensation of a tightening in his core, one not from a release.

"G-get-o-off—" Loki panted, pushing weakly as the feeling descended closer to Nuada's cock. Panic of the unknown overwhelmed him in his helpless state and he let out a single loud sob. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he pushed harder, imploring Nuada to move away before the tightening reached him. Loki didn't know why or what it meant, but it felt important to him. It almost felt familiar, like a feeling that begun before but never ended. "P-please, _please_ —"

And in a second, Nuada was off of him, and Loki inhaled deeply as if he'd been suffocated. The tightening continued until his hole contracted painfully, sending a tight pinch into his core. He winced and curled over onto his side as it receded. It was gone before he knew it, and he let out a long breath, tired and worn in what could only have been a few minutes.

The blankets found their way over his shoulder and Loki opened his weary eyes. Nuada was petting the furs down over him, tucking them in the corners. His hands were sure, but his face was troubled. Loki watched him quietly, catching his breath as Nuada tucked him in. He remained curled up, his release drying over his stomach. He couldn't feel Nuada's seeping out though, and but he would be alright…he had the potion.

Nuada settled besides him on his back, and gave the ceiling a great sigh. They lay quietly for a while, Loki watching Nuada, Nuada watching the ceiling. Loki was genuinely surprised Nuada wasn't trying to snuggle with him seeing as this was the first real time they lay awake together, but he wasn't the only one the man was worrying about at this moment.

"…How is your father?" Loki asked softly.

Nuada blinked, but didn't turn to look at him. He hesitated before speaking. "…He still lives."

Loki didn't know what to say, again he didn't know how to feel, so he remained silent, and closed his eyes for escape in sleep.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be, or not to be~
> 
> Loki wants to be free as that is what everyone always thinks they want, but he kinda knows he won't get that so being in charge is the next best thing. But we all know Loki is a sub at heart, he'd be much more in his zone being a queen than a king, but he doesn't yet see that. He's yet to learn that about himself, he's too offended atm by sexist views and unfair commands.
> 
> And if you're confused about the end of the sex, it will be answered eventually.


	16. Chapter 16: Thor day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds a new Thor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rather enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you all enjoy reading it~
> 
> Please forgive my spelling errors.
> 
> I do not own Marvel stuff.

**Chapter 16: Thor day 4**

Thor's fourth day in Loki's company brought a new Thor. Loki wasn't sure what had changed, or when it had changed, but there was a new glimmer in Thor's blue eyes which could definitely be seen as appealing if, he wasn't such an arrogant dick.

In the morning, Loki tried to covet as much sleep as possible. He hadn't had a very good night, despite drifting off to sleep quickly. He woke up periodically, tossing and turning, fighting with the furs and eventually feeling the seed seep out of him. It tickled as it dried across his skin, making him feel dirty and irritable. But no matter how many times he peeked at Nuada during the night, he couldn't bring himself to spitefully interfere with the man.

This was the first time he lay awake besides one of the princes, his body refused to allow him peace that night. And he wasted the opportunity. Not that he could actually do anything to either of them without starting war. Then not to mention Frigga and Nuala would probably make personal vendettas against him. _And_ his father, all around the inevitable war. His hands were tied. But deep down, Loki knew he wouldn't hurt Nuada so. He had no true motive for that…

Loki tried his best to remain asleep, but unlike the day before, there was someone nudging him awake. It was Thrym.

Wearily Loki cracked open his eyes, and found Thrym leaning right over him.

His brother smiled cheerfully. "Morning Loki."

"…Hng." Loki grunted, and turned over in the space available to burrow into the bed. He held the furs tighter around him and sighed heavily, ready to ignore the world and elope with sleep.

Thrym was silent for a moment, before speaking hesitantly. "Come on get up, I didn't come here to have a conversation with the back of your head. …I just thought I'd come see you… If I'm not welcome just be a man and say it. You don't have to pretend—"

Loki groaned beneath him. "For the love of…shut up! I'm up, fuck…" Thrym grinned triumphantly as Loki shuffled back around and up a little. Thrym was horrible at manipulation, but in being so it was annoying and worked just as well. Loki scowled tiredly, and leaned back against the bed rest with his furs close. "You're like a child."

"Speak for yourself." Thrym snorted, and sat beside him. He poked Loki's leg. "How is Loki?"

Loki let out a stifled yawn and stretched half heartedly. "Loki is fine. And Thrym?"

"Can't complain."

"Yes, with you spending all your time with Thor, I bet."

Thrym smirked. "Jealous?"

"You all wish. Do you actually get along with him?"

"He is quite a sport when he wants to be. I can envision keeping peace with him one day, so long as I can keep a friendship going. He's as temperamental as you are, but more of a sport."

Loki pursed his lips sourly. "Just because I don't find it funny being drenched in random mugs of ale doesn't mean I'm not a sport—"

"You only find that funny when its not you."

"Can you blame me? I'm the one who has hair to manage. And it's silly and messy."

"All part of being a sport."

"So childish." Loki made an irritable sound. Thrym laughed, but said nothing more and sat content with squeezing Loki's calf idly. Loki watched him, whilst his thoughts strayed. He pushed the furs from his neck and continued to stretch. "…Did Byleistr say anything to you?"

"Byleistr? No. I saw him the other day, but he was busying handling the trades through Utgard. Why?"

"No reason."

Thrym frowned at his hands. "…Loki what is on your fingers?"

His fingers? Loki cut his stretch short, earning a slight pinch, and curled in his fingers—they were dried over with red blood. "Shit—" he stuck them guiltily beneath the furs and between his legs, but Thrym had already seen them, and didn't seem to be unseeing. "It's nothing. It's nothing, don't er…it's nothing." Thrym still didn't look convinced. "I just, got carried away. Might've…attacked him."

"What? Who? Nuada? What did he do now?" Thrym asked, slightly exasperated.

Loki fidgeted guiltily. "…Nothing, I just…it was during mating…I just…"

"He looked quite distracted this morning when leaving. I do hope his father is recovering. Poor Nuala. She looked quite attached to King Balor."

Loki fidgeted even more guiltily. "Nuada went again?"

"Well he's got nothing specific to do here all day, so he might as well go spend it at his father's side. I bet the old man is just hanging on until it's confirmed you're pregnant. So either he's going to go peacefully, or miserably. Because if it turns out to be Thor's, I don't think Balor will—"

Loki raised a hand at him. "I get it. I get it… Just who do you want me to be with Thrym? Asgard or Álfheimr? You like Thor, but you like your Nuala too."

Thrym smiled naughtily, like a child that got away with stealing the treat and promised more. "See, father put it this way, if you marry Thor and bind Asgard to Jötunheimr, one day I can marry Nuala and bind Álfheimr to Jötunheimr. It's rather smart, that way we're all connected, it'd be the union of the entire history."

Loki couldn't help but pull a face. Thrym gave him a 'just give it a chance' expression. Loki shook his head, and cocked his unimpressed brow. "…Do you think Nuada would let you marry her?"

"Sure, why not?" Thrym frowned. Loki squinted at him, at his logic, but Thrym broke into a smile again. He was too carefree, no wonder their father had a headache with the both of them. "And I found a spell the mages can perform to bring me down a size or two for when we need to procreate." Thrym wriggled his eyebrows. Loki let out a tired laugh at the idea.

"That poor Elf. I best warn her before she falls to my fate."

"Hey, I'll look after her. I look after you."

Loki patted his hand patronisingly. "I give you some credit for trying."

"How kind. If you saw me and Thor yesterday you'd give me more. At the rate you're going, you'll have three children and still call each other by formal titles. I'm easing Thor in for you."

"He's eased himself in enough." Loki muttered.

"You're just being hard-headed now. Come on, food awaits." Thrym smacked Loki's thigh as encouragement and got up.

Loki shifted slowly towards the edge of the bed, feeling the dried seed scratch at him. He glanced at the cleaning utensils. "Come back for me in fifteen minutes?"

"Sure."

Thrym didn't linger, and left Loki to drag himself out of bed. He wasn't feeling quite as jovial as yesterday, but at least he wasn't miserable. Not like Nuada seemed to be…

With the cleaning utensils, there was an outfit laid out for him. It was clearly one that represented Asgard, made of fine linens and colours of red and gold. He had worn his fur yesterday, but Nuada hadn't been there to see and comment on it. His father had though, he could imagine this was one of his subtle prompts. Loki sighed, and cleaned himself up. During his clean his fingers lingered by his entrance with the thought of the strange sensation from the night before. What had that been? It felt as if everything was closing, like a muscle pinching and gathering. But it ended so quickly there was no time to remember much about it. His instincts screamed against it though, so he'd have to keep a weary eye out.

With his skirt on (he rather did like the way it swished when he walked) and the wide vest over his chest, he quickly took his potion, saying a little prayer this time. By the time he was done, Thrym returned.

Breakfast was an odd affair. Thor, unlike all his other days, looked, well…happy. Laufey looked content, the court was content if he was, and Thrym was shining too. But considering the fact that Nuada's father was possibly about to die, Loki didn't see why there was so much happiness going around. At least pretend to have sympathy. His father was a damn hypocrite.

"Loki, good morn." Laufey said as he and Thrym took their seats. Thrym sat across from Laufey, Thor across Loki. It was the closest Thor had ever sat to Loki during a meal, he was surprised by the progress.

"Good morning, father." He returned, but Thor was willing him to look at him, and he gave in curiously.

"Good morning, Loki." Thor said, instantly.

Loki nodded. "Thor."

The table had already served themselves so Loki and Thrym filled their plates, sharing a look at the welcomed presence of a rare meat they both liked. Thor had a good helping of it, much to Loki's annoyance despite there being plenty. Loki enjoyed a light mug of ale, though it seemed to increase the burning within him, and filled his stomach should he need to bring it up on Thor. A few minutes passed with meaningless chit chat before Thrym intervened.

"Oh! Father, one of the days, I wish to accompany Thor to the north side mountains. May I go?"

Laufey studied the pair that looked nothing short of mischievous children, and gestured lightly to Loki. "Is Loki not invited?"

Loki frowned irritably at his father, and turned to watch as Thor and Thrym's faces went blank. They started babbling like idiots until Thrym made some pathetic progress. "It's not that he isn't-! But Thor wanted to hunt an ice wolf. I was going to take him up the mountain to their nearest clan. I didn't think Loki would be allowed to accompany us."

Laufey nodded. "After hearing that, certainly not. I'm not sure I want you to go either, a king needs all his limbs."

While Loki enjoyed a trip (not that he had been allowed on one for years), he felt no loss at not being allowed to go. He didn't want to trek around with Thor, or have to be put in the position where he'd have to save the man's life because muscles made men reckless. Hundreds of Jotuns died trying to prove their power and masculinity, and it sounded as if the other realms had such instances too. And knowing Thor…He wouldn't be able to live it down if he saved Thor's life.

Thrym however, wasn't happy. He whined. "We'll take a team with us then! We'll be fine. And Thor has Mjölnir!"

"I swear no harm will come to your son. We'll bring you back a trophy." Thor promised.

Loki sighed inconspicuously and went back to eating idly, glancing at his father for a follow up.

Laufey hummed in thought, but eventually nodded, pleasing the princes. "Very well. Just be cautious, you both. Odin will have my head if anything happened to you, Thor. _After_ your mother, of course."

Thor grinned as if he just won the universe. "Noted, King Laufey."

Thrym cleared his throat and sent Loki an awkward shrug. "Sorry, Loki."

Loki stared apathetically. "…I'll survive."

"Are there no wolves on Asgard to hunt?" Laufey asked.

"Not the kind we're allowed to hunt. We usually hunt wargs, Svartálfaheimr and Midgard are full of them."

Loki's ear peeked at the mention of Midgard. Laufey hummed again. "You frequent Midgard often I hear."

"I used to in my youth, with my friends. I'd bring back pelts of all kinds. My mother's rooms are filled with pelts. It's been a small while since I revisited, I've been trying to do more duties."

"You must be excited to be crowned."

"I am. I'll be as good a king as my father."

Loki mentally rolled his eyes until they popped out. Besides him, Laufey turned and gestured a hand. "Loki, have you anything to add?"

He _hated_ being forced to participate. Couldn't Thrym's participation just be enough, Loki thought helplessly. Everyone was looking at him for an answer. What had they been talking about? Something about Midgard, and Thor being as good a king as his father. Well, fuck the latter statement.

"…Did you hunt dragons?" he droned at Thor. Everyone turned his way, and Thor looked surprised.

"Dragons? I've never even seen one. I've never met anyone that has." He looked slightly uncomfortable for a reason Loki couldn't understand, but quickly hushed it away with a charming smile. "But I would go and search, if that is what you wanted."

"…Alive."

Just as everyone was about to continue eating, they looked back at Loki. Thor blinked, half way to his fork. "What?"

Loki kept his back straight and his nose inched up. "I do. And I want a living dragon. Not a pelt."

The expression on Thor's face was almost as funny as the silence that followed. Thrym was looking at him as if he was crazy, and Laufey looked both impressed and alarmed. He quickly reined it in to nudge Loki. "Loki you cannot keep a dragon like you can a wolf, where would we fit it?"

"I'm sure Asgard has the space." Loki replied curtly, staring Thor down into his seat. He'd never seen the man look so shocked. The amazement was tangible around the table, sending sparks of confidence and smugness into Loki's chest. He kept his eyes fixed on Thor, determined to make the man look away first.

Laufey frowned disapprovingly. "The dragons are either scarce or dead, don't send Thor off on fruitless pursuits—"

Thor cut him off, gazing fiercely at Loki. "No, it's fine. It will be my wedding gift to Loki. I'll go to Midgard and bring him home a dragon."

Loki's excitement bubbled and he felt his face blush at the implications, but held his ground to see what more he could get. "I want to go with."

This time Thor remained stoic, their gazes locked. It was Thrym that intervened, hesitantly. "…You'll be pregnant, Loki, I don't think that is sa—"

Laufey cut in, his tone alone stealing Loki's attention. "No, it's not. Loki, you won't be travelling before the child is born. And if dragons are the fire breathing beasts I've read of, you will not be near it whilst it's captured. We're frost giants, not fire giants."

Loki pulled a face. "But—"

"He's right, Loki. Midgard is dangerous, their wargs alone are deadly enough, not counting all the other beasts it has." Thor said.

Thrym made a wondering sound. "I wonder how the Midgardians survive."

Thor mimicked it. "I'd say overpopulation, Midgardians breed a lot. So, their numbers don't fall drastically."

"Sounds like us."

The table spilt into laughter. Loki did not join in, and looked sadly at his lap. His father noticed once the joke wore off, and reached over to pet Loki's cheek. Loki glanced sadly at him, finally remembering how to use his big eyes.

"Can't Thor get you another prize? A dragon is a little exorbitant, thinking about it."

"Am I not worth anything?" Loki mumbled.

From all his bitching he had expected Laufey to dismiss him, but he sighed and glanced at Thor. "…Thor what else does Midgard have to offer as a good pet?"

"Um, well they have many kinds of horses. Horses make good pets. Some have wings, some have these long horns on their heads. They have huge ginger cats with exotic markings, standing as height as this table. And they have direwolves too, and those you can tame if you know how, and they make loyal pets. They also have these small jumping things called rabbits, very fluffy. But you don't want to come home with that pelt, that's would be humiliating. Midgard has too much to name. They have much more than our realms."

Laufey nodded, sharing a 'do change your mind' look with Loki. "Life changes quickly on Midgard, in a way they are blessed."

"In fact! I have this odd story about one of our trips to Midgard, we were camping…"

As Thor prattled on about some story he obviously enjoyed telling, Loki found his eyes drifting, looking for that missing person. Usually Nuada was present, engaging in boring political conversation that gave no one room to dislike him. He was a pleasant man to be around. In fact, besides the mating, Loki couldn't find a reason to dislike him either. And even the mating was pleasant… But he was on Álfheimr now, probably sitting besides his dying father. Suddenly Loki wanted to bow his head and feel ashamed for not taking his father's advice and showing sympathy yesterday.

Across the table Thor didn't seem to share the sentiment, detailing his story with arm movements and passionate expressions. It felt cruel for him to express such joy while Nuada was at such a disadvantage. Loki almost couldn't manage the odd emotion of feeling bad.

"And it swallowed him! Swallowed him whole. We woke up because this thing was at our feet convulsing— _thrashing_ around! We thought the beast was dying, but Fandral had actually woken up _inside_ it!"

"That's disgusting!" Thrym cried.

"So Hogun slit open its belly and we pulled him out. He's been much less enthusiastic about Midgard now, not even its maidens can lure him back."

"That thing must've been powerful."

"I can only imagine how fearful the mortals must be of it. We took it home though, we thought it'd be a funny token to tease Fandral with. We had it stuffed and now it's lining the dinner hall, we even named it. Jörmungandr."

Thrym smirked stupidly. "Now I want to go to Midgard. All I hear is wild beasts and wild maidens."

Laufey looked up, amused. "Now, now, don't let that get to Princess Nuala."

Thrym flushed, and Thor laughed at him. "Oh, right. I'm just jesting."

"You'd best make a move, my friend, Princess Nuala is the only princess of age in the realms at this moment. You'd best hope no body else notices her."

All the amusement drained from Thrym's face and he looked around worriedly. "Truly? …Father—"

"No, Thrym."

"But—"

"Not _yet_."

"But—"

From there on Loki blocked them out. Thrym continued to try convince his father why he ought to court the Elven princess sooner than later, leaving Thor and the court highly amused. Loki hoped, for her sake, Laufey refused. She'd be stuck in Jötunheimr breeding until she died, the king out of all of them was expected to produce many offspring. There was power in numbers, Jötunheimr was a strict believer in that. So unless she was up for it, she'd never enjoy her body as it was. And he could only imagine the toll it would take on an Elven body, they weren't said to breed much, and looked far more fragile than Loki ever cared to be.

Suddenly he felt a little stronger, remembering all the children his dam managed to have without a problem.

After the food was demolished, Laufey stood and gave Loki's shoulder a light squeeze, and a pointed glare at Thrym. "I'll be off then. Thrym, you've lessons with your uncle."

"How could I possibly forget…"

The king ignored the sarcasm and left with a group. Loki watched him go, but Thor quickly stole his attention. The Aesir stood and came around to his side of the table. Loki sighed and got up too, too tired to stall and make a spectacle this morning.

"Loki, shall we?"

Loki flapped a hand at Thrym. "See you later, Thrym."

Thrym smiled encouragingly. "Have a nice day."

Thor gave Thrym a smile back seeing as Loki cared not for the niceties. He then took a hold on Loki's wrist and started to lead him somewhere.

"Where are we going?" Loki frowned at him and wondered what activity they'd be doing today. He couldn't judge by the direction they were going, but Thor seemed to have something in mind, and tugged him along.

"Seclusion." He said, simply.

Loki tried not to let the answer bother him, and continued to follow Thor off. But his frown burrowed to new depths when Thor led him into a small room upstairs that was, to his mortification, used for quick-fix mates. Frantically he thought a thousand deaths to whoever told Thor about this room. But wait maybe he was jumping to conclusions.

As soon as the door shut them in Thor grabbed his arms with an intimate caress. "Father suggests we start trying twice a day, in the morn and night. And I was told this would be a good place to…slip away."

Nope, may that person be swallowed by the ground into a fiery pit, and Odin with them. Well…at _least_ they weren't in his poor room.

"Oh." This had become his own trials, he realised. These were his battles. But it was worth it, taking the potion and forcing each mate to be fruitless. It was worth it. He'd show them.

"I am sorry, but I wouldn't ask if it weren't an important duty." Thor said, and Loki suddenly wanted to grab his facial hair and just pluck it out. Important duty? Somehow, it stank like lies to Loki.

Thor looked…hesitant? Loki stood still and watched him wearily. Then slowly as if gathering up his courage, Thor pulled him closer and rubbed up his arms. He thumbed Loki's blue skin and frowned in concentration, looking over him as if studying him. He then reached up and touched Loki's face, gently, and traced his finger thoughtfully over Loki's family runes. Loki tried not to shiver as Thor explored him.

"Nuada thinks you are very beautiful." Thor said at last.

"And you don't?" Loki retorted, glancing into Thor's blue eyes. And despite his hard heart, it still skipped a beat hearing those words from Thor about Nuada. Did they talk to each other about him? …Did they ever fight over him?

"I am still on two minds, to be honest." Thor said, evenly. He slid his hand back and cupped Loki's head, raking his fingers into his black hair. "But you're different compared to the normal Jotuns."

Loki blinked hard. Compared to the 'normal Jotuns'? He may be different but be was not _abnormal_ for fucks sake. Just what did Thor think he was? Deformed?

"…Unfortunately." He ground out.

"I was worried when my father first told me. I didn't know if I could bring myself to touch a Jotun like this. But he was right, you're something else." Loki grit his teeth and stared forward blankly as Thor pulled his hand away in favour of holding onto Loki's waist. He could feel the anger simmering beneath his skin, his heart taking off to a quick step.

"I'm glad I please you, prince."

"What do you think of me?" Thor asked, pulling his hands back to Loki's arms. Loki did a double take at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I must be just as odd to behold for you. Do you think me…ugly?" Thor asked it as if it was an absurd notion, and Loki almost lied, but the increasing presence of Thor's proximity was starting to make him nervous as well as angry. He shifted uncomfortably.

"…No. Not ugly. Just…different."

"But surely I have more appeal than Nuada? I am almost as large as a Jotun so you have that to relate to. Nuada is almost half my size, twice that for a Jotun."

"…It makes no difference to me, you're both yellow."

Thor laughed. "True."

"But Jotuns don't have hair on their faces." Loki said, just to tick him off seeing as Nuada didn't have a beard.

"Nor do they on their heads." Thor retorted smartly, and Loki leaned back, feeling offended.

"…It's part of me being…not normal."

"I like it, reminds me you're not that different." Thor said, and drew him back. Loki stumbled and put his hands onto Thor's chest for space, but Thor seemed to think he just wanted to touch him and smiled. "Father also says maybe I am not stimulating you enough, that I should pay more attention."

Loki's anger dissolved into worry. He made a funny noise that confused them both and quickly shook his head. He then tried to smile as convincingly as possible. "No, you don't have to." But Thor didn't look convinced, and started pawing at him.

"Maybe I do? Maybe your body isn't responding because I'm not doing it right? With Asgard women it's simple but…well, it can't be that different?"

"I wouldn't know." Loki breathed, and tried his best not to show fear or reluctance as Thor leaned in as if to kiss him. His large fingers pressed into his waist, keeping him close.

"…You _are_ sort of pretty. Your face is sharp, unlike Jotuns."

"Like a woman?" Loki asked, growing incredibly irritable over his shaking nerves.

"Yes. It's nice." Thor said, as if there was nothing wrong about everything he'd just said. He then moved Loki abruptly and backed him up eagerly into the wall where he started to run his hands over his body. The sudden stimulation of his callous hands made Loki shiver, and he watched in mild fright as Thor groped him as if he was his brand new lover. Then Thor lifted his skirt and reached for his penis.

"No." Loki intercepted his hand.

"Why? Maybe that is what I'm doing wrong?" Thor tried again, but Loki pushed him away.

"It isn't, its got nothing to do with conceiving." He said hurriedly.

"Then what does?" Thor asked, finally sounding frustrated. _Fuck_. Thor frowned heavily, looking as if he was at a loss, and Loki didn't blame him. He could imagine Odin was behind Thor, telling him to do a better job, and do it before the Elf did. But Thor was a man who got what he wanted, and Loki didn't want to start peaking with him too.

"…I need to climax to conceive." He said carefully, desperately thinking up a cover at the last minute. That was the worst thing he could've said, but if he didn't he could bet his father would. The easiest way to hide the truth was to wrap it in lies, not lie entirely.

Thor frowned suspiciously. "…Women don't need to."

"I think that's what's wrong." Loki continued, ignorant to the workings of a female.

Thor frowned at the news, and at the guilt for never realising that might be the problem, and at his previous reluctant for even wanting to think of that, and started to size Loki up. "Okay, then father was right. But if you won't let me touch your—"

"It's not that. I mean, it's a different peak—internal." He insisted, and to his relief Thor's face lit up.

"Oh? Then it's like a woman's." he said happily, and Loki just nodded to keep him happy. "Okay, what pleases you?" he said, and rubbed his hands down Loki's clothed chest.

Loki swallowed, and desperately tried to think of a good enough answer that wouldn't have him writhing like a whore. Maybe he should have thought a little longer before opening his big mouth. Thor didn't seem to mind waiting for an answer, leaning into him with firmer fondling until Loki's breath picked up.

"Um…" he licked his lips, staring up as Thor bore down on him, his breath wafting in his face. "…Just..."

"Yes?" Thor breathed, pressing his forehead down on Loki's.

It quickly became hard to breathe, and Loki found Thor forcing his arms around his neck. Next thing he knew his feet were lifted off the ground and Thor hooked his hands around his buttocks under his skirt, and fastened his legs around his waist. He was pressed up against the wall with little option of escaping and before he knew it Thor's mouth was on him.

The very first thing that came to mind was _how the hell did women enjoy their men hairy_? Thor's beard scratched at his face and reminded him who was propping him up and currently ravaging his mouth. Thor was experienced in this field however and despite his reluctance, Loki responded to the sucking of his tongue and the wide hands around his rump squeezing his cheeks. It was arousing for him to be manhandled and moved about by a big strong man, by a regular Jotun, and Thor seemed to be more than able.

His legs tightened around Thor's muscled body and he realised Thor would easily catch on if he continued on this path. He couldn't risk that, or Thor would take great pleasure in making him into his whore. He may have taken his body, but his will was still his own.

Loki pulled his mouth free as soon as he could. He panted and twisted as Thor tried to reclaim his lips.

"G-gentle." He breathed, and Thor's brows furrowed against him.

"Gentle?"

"Be gentle, it-it will help."

Thor looked amused, and his lust overrode it. He pressed Loki's lower body against his hardening crotch. "I thought Jotuns liked it rough."

"I'm Frostfemme, we're too small for rough." Decent logical excuse, and it was a lie. Frostfemme brought out the lust in everyone, leading to many rough hands getting hold of them to be the ones to claim them. They were built to be durable and handle rough. He watched Thor carefully, hopefully—and thankfully Thor's face twisted in surprise.

"I hadn't…thought of that." He said, sounding ashamed. Loki quickly shook his head.

"It's okay, just start now." He suggested, sounding a little more receptive now that he had convinced Thor to be gentle without losing his dignity.

"Aye, I shall," Thor said, grinning impishly. Loki shivered, and grunted as Thor reached between them and released himself. He then shifted Loki and moved aside his clothing before bringing him back down on his cock. Thor had gotten hard in record time, and Loki did not like the development.

As Thor moved him down with exaggerated slowness, he didn't dare try to remind him he wasn't properly wet yet and could do with some lubrication. It might prompt Thor into doing more, so he pressed his lips together and bared the slight burn. But he was Jotun, he was becoming experienced, and accepted Thor easily. Once seated, Thor adjusted him a little, and captured his lips back in a kiss when he started to thrust slowly.

And _slowly_ did he thrust.

His kissing was fevered though and he squeezed Loki's cheeks enthusiastically, pulling them apart as if he couldn't go deep enough. The combination was pleasant and Loki moaned, and shuddered as his cock was stimulated through his clothing between them. Thor felt his hardness appear and pressed closer, but focused on the deep gentle thrusts of his cock that were making Loki moan sweetly. It was just as new to Thor as it was to Loki, and he slowly sped up, but kept a careful hold on Loki and kissed him until he was utterly breathless.

Unhappily, Loki found he was getting aroused. He'd too quickly grown wet from the natural prompt of a cock inside him and for once with Thor it wasn't blood. Each time Thor speared him on his length the sensations grew stronger as his body acknowledged them, instead of trying to block it out like he normally did. Thor never pulled too far out, leaving Loki always full of his member and stretched deliciously around him.

But as good as it was starting to get, Loki was honestly getting aroused, and that was bad. He didn't want to come, and he shouldn't anyway, but Thor's gentle handling _was_ having an effect, even without the scratching and biting Nuada gave to him. Thor was rolling his hips up in a manner Loki didn't think possible for the brute, sinking in deep while putting warm pressure on Loki's cock. But this was Thor, it shouldn't feel good, his body should know better! He was beginning to think his body was just becoming so used to this that it was expecting it, and reacted favourably just to get it over with. Maybe it was. Or maybe he was genuinely enjoying Thor fucking him. Maybe he was a whore already.

Loki panicked, and started to fidget helplessly. He pushed on Thor's hard shoulders, and when Thor looked up at him, he breathed, "I'm close."

Thor didn't ask questions and frowned in concentration, and started bouncing Loki with new vigour. Loki moaned authentically and remembered not to stop himself, Thor needed to believe he was peaking. Loki put his pride away and bucked for the last few thrusts and clenched himself around Thor, dropping his mouth in an honest wanton cry that bounced off the walls and went straight into Thor's cock. He ground his head back into the wall and went still, shaking strongly as he pretended to peak whilst actually fighting to keep it at bay, and tried to mimic how it was with Nuada. Thor jerked him down for a final time and held him there as he gave in to his own climax, one that he'd been holding in for the first time.

Though it was a small victory wrapped in shame, it was a small victory nonetheless.

Squashing him into the wall, Thor breathed loudly, his cock twitching every few breaths. His beard scratched at Loki's neck as they hung, panting against one another. Loki was genuinely surprised Thor's legs were still holding, the man was moaning out the most embarrassing sounds as if …as if he enjoyed it.

Then they shook and Thor tightened his grip around Loki, as if they weren't close enough. "That…that was something new…Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine." Loki breathed. He _would_ be as soon as Thor got off him. His cock was stiff between them, trying desperately to embarrass him. With that in mind, Loki started to fidget, and Thor took the initiative to release him. Thor lifted him first, off his cock, leaving an odd sensation of emptiness behind. Loki quickly found his feet, but one step away from Thor and he stumbled against the wall. Thor jumped to steady him, and forcefully led him over to the chair that sat by the window. There was a cold breeze blowing in, helping to cool down the fire inside their bodies.

Loki collapsed back on the furs and cushions with a loud sigh, and quickly drew up his knees to hide his erection. Thor dropped besides him with a groan, tucking himself away with a funny look on his face. Loki looked away from him to save his dignity when he felt his hole ooze of release. His cheeks flamed dark blue and he held still so not to aggravate it, but he wasn't wearing fur, he could only imagine the stain there would be on the damned skirt.

They took a while to catch their breaths and cool down. The breeze from the window was Valhalla; Loki couldn't remember when last he felt so normal and cold. Thor didn't seem to be put off by the icy air either, lying limply, his knees miles apart and his hands in his lap. Loki almost dozed off when Thor startled him and spoke. "Was that good for you?"

Loki stared out the window, willing his erection to keep dying. "…It was fine."

"You seemed to enjoy it this time. Thank you for the direction, I'm sorry it hurt before."

"Okay." ' _Sorry'_? What had Thor been drinking? Loki was too tired to swipe that stupid smile off his face. It was a mixture between satisfaction and gratefulness, it just looked all wrong. The whole fuck was all wrong, there should be blood sweat and tears! And this was more demeaning, he didn't _want_ to enjoy it, even physically. But that way seemed to be over, perhaps his body just got used to it all… Hello, new trial.

For the next while, Thor didn't torment him and lay back quietly, his eyes studying the room. Loki managed to cast away his stiff betrayal and tried to ignore the cum seeping into his clothing. The pleasure in his veins ebbed away eventually, but it didn't stop his eyes from straying to Thor. _If_ the mating was always like that he supposed it was bearable, _if_ he ended up stuck with the man. There! He admitted it! And the same went for Nuada! Byleistr would be so proud.

But it didn't mean Thor was a good man, or Nuada. They cared about their own people and their own families, they could easily turn around and hurt him. Yes, they had flaws that would turn around and bite him. Definitely Thor, probably Nuada…but definitely Thor. The man was just content now because he got a satisfying fuck, he was probably like that with all his women. Just how many did he have? On that note…

"…How many children do you think you have on Midgard? You must have some, if you've fucked so many women."

Thor turned to look at him, his brows jumping in surprise. "I don't think I have any. Mother would be upset if I did. I mean, I hope I don't,"

"…How many women have you been with?"

"Too many to count." Thor said instantly, pride in his tone. Loki stared blankly, unimpressed, so Thor cleared his throat and continued. "Though there was this one Elven king on Midgard. He was not subtle about wanting me. Fandral would've taken the honour but kings don't go for second best. He did make a spectacle of caressing Mjölnir though, Sif and the men still laugh themselves sick to this day."

"So I'm the very first man?" No wonder Thor was so horrid at mating at first. Just what did females possess that could handle Thor's brutality? Suddenly, Loki found an added respect for them.

"Yes…" Thor said, his expression dampening. He fidgeted now. "I was reluctant at first, I might've sworn my father…but it could've been worse."

Loki blinked blandly. "You mean _I_ could've been worse?"

Thor chuckled awkwardly. "Well I could've been stuck with Thrym, imagine that."

"You get along with him."

"As friends. Lovers…it'd be completely odd. I can admire your shape now. I just needed to…open my mind."

Loki snorted softly, and turned his face away. "As I my legs…"

Thor blinked, and surprisingly shifted closer. Loki shot him a raised brow, but Thor ignored it. "…Did you have a love interest?"

"A love what?"

"I'm just wondering…you seem so angry, princesses fight for the chance to be queen. I thought perhaps you loved someone, and this was taking you away from him. Is it that Helblindi character? The one that—"

"No, it's not. There is no one."

Thor didn't look convinced, but let it drop anyway. "Alright."

"What are your plans for Asgard once you're king?" Loki asked quickly after, crossing a leg over the other so he could lean away from Thor's body. The man was becoming too familiar all of a sudden, fucking egos.

"My plans? Just to, I suppose, run it as well as my father. With less war, of course."

Loki folded his arms. "I thought you like war, you used to come here all the time to fight."

"That was childish sport, and your people never failed to humour me. But for my kingdom, Father says I have to stop those kinds of things. I must think of the people. They wouldn't appreciate war as I or my soldiers would. A king must think of his people."

"Wise words." Loki ground out, reluctantly. But they were Odin's words, Thor had a long way to go to think such things out of his own.

"Words I'm trying to learn. Hopefully I'll have my coronation soon, but the closer it gets the more I realise I could use another year learning."

Loki blinked. "…You won't be king straight away if we get married?"

Thor shook his head with an embarrassed smile. "No. You'll be wed to me, but the crown won't pass same time. Father knows when it will be right, I've learnt not to pressure him anymore." Thor paused, and gave Loki a penetrating gaze. "Did you ever want to become king? You've so many brothers, I know there can be much jealousy about the throne."

Loki frowned, now trying not to lean away as Thor leaned in, obviously to intimidate or fluster him. "…No, I just…I don't know."

"Can I ask something?" Thor asked.

Loki cringed. "What?"

"Your mother, what happened to…him? Father says he doesn't know, but I think he's lying."

Oh, like that was such a common topic! Loki scowled and shifted pointedly, leaning the other away. "That is no business of yours."

"My apologies." Thor mumbled. The Aesir prince remained where he was, frustratingly close, until suddenly he dipped in and captured Loki's neck in a kiss.

Loki squeaked and jumped, giving Thor the opportunity to slip his hands around him and pull him close.

"Th-thor, what—" Loki's breath hitched as Thor licked up to his ear, climbing on top of him and settling his weight down. His big hands weren't shy and roamed to their hearts content, rubbing and squeezing Loki's flesh. He noticed Thor particularly liked to squeeze his waist and the junction between his thighs and his butt cheeks, digging his fingers into the grooves as he mouthed at Loki's neck until he reached his mouth.

Loki mewled helplessly as Thor kissed him, coercing his tongue into things he didn't want to do. No amount of pushing on Thor's chest was getting the weak message across, he couldn't even give him frostbite, and when Thor crooked his fingers between his cheeks, Loki felt his traitorous legs spread. Thor wiped his fingers in the moisture collected there before casually slipping in a finger, smirking as Loki broke the kiss to moan.

"I think this was also a problem," Thor breathed against him as he pushed in a second finger, "you not being wet." Thor circled his fingers as he moved them in and out, eliciting a brazen cry from Loki.

All at once his blood boiled and his cock threatened to rise. His body seemed to have no qualms about this and if anything, he felt the sickening desire to have Thor mount him.

' _Yes, let him mount you_ ,' a voice whispered.

"I like you wet," Thor whispered.

' _You want to be fucked_ ,'

"Let me make you come again…" Thor stuck his tongue in Loki's ear, sliding his fingers deep.

' _You know you like it. There is no stopping it, so enjoy it._ '

"Loki…"

' _Moan for him. His ego will love it._ '

"N-no," Loki panted as soon as he got the chance, his hole clenching tortuously around Thor's thick fingers.

' _Imagine how good it will be to come on Thor's cock…_ '

Loki let out a frustrated whine and twisted desperately. His cock was stiff again and there was a burning ball of heat in his gut, any hotter and he was going to start feeling sick. Thor was not helping with his own body heat, enveloping him, kissing him, sucking on him, fingering him, squashing him.

"I want you…" Thor said, and started to pull down the hem of his pants.

That was it for Loki. He knew any further and he'd be fucked long and hard into the sofa, loving every bit of it. He struck out with the heel of his hand, cracking Thor's nose and sending the startled man tumbling over onto the floor. Loki gasped for breath and sat up. He spared Thor a quick glance, who was whining and holding his nose, then scrambled over the back of the chair. He tumbled over the back rest much like Thor had and fought to get to his feet. His skirt caught under his foot, ripping straight up his leg in the process.

Loki ran the rest of the way out, uncaring for his erection, his wild hair and his torn skirt. Thor remained on the floor, trying to evaluate where exactly it went wrong.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

For the rest of the day, Loki spent it alone, praying Thor did not seek him out. As far as he was concerned, he had a hole dripping Thor's cum and that was enough to warrant him time alone. He fled back to his room after his incident with Thor, and scrubbed himself clean. He changed his clothing back to his usual, and had to manually keep away from a second potion. There was pleasure thrumming in his veins, taunting him, along with the whispers in his mind. They were dangerous, so he sat his traitorous arse on his bed and endured boredom and a hungry belly until his body was punished, and his father intruded.

He stood by the door, his face a mask of expected disapproval. "Loki?"

"What?"

"Watch your tongue. Why are you lazing around without Thor?"

"I need my space."

Laufey rolled his eyes. "You had two days of space, Loki."

"I just got rutted into the wall I think a few hours alone before tonight won't kill anyone!"

"...You've another week to conceive, I'm glad you're trying a little harder. But you're perfectly fertile, it must be something else wrong. Are you peaking?"

"Yes." Loki ground out, humiliated. Laufey didn't believe him. He stepped in with a warning.

"Loki don't lie—"

Loki sat up to attention angrily. "I do! Nuada did it the first damn night!" he cried in a huff, pausing for effect. "…I had to teach Thor, like you said."

Laufey stared down at him and tried to find lies, but Loki was being truthful. Though he wished for once he wasn't… Mollified, Laufey huffed.

"Very well. Don't be late to dinner. You need to eat more. You're too thin."

Loki envisioned Laufey getting chopped in half by his door as he exited. "Yes, father."

Dinner as it turned out, was bearable. No one said a word to Loki, but they were looking at him. And Thor's inflamed nose. It was obvious he'd been bleeding, but one broken nose was surely nothing to the mighty Thor. And thankfully, considering Laufey would have bitched, Thor paid his nose no mind and engaged Thrym in cheerful conversation, taking turns to retell their journey to Utgard. If Laufey suspected Loki was the blame, though it was painfully obvious, he said nothing, and left Loki to sulk in his seat as everyone silently accused him. Thor did not mention it nor anything about the day they shared, and for that small miracle Loki was grateful.

He was ravenous by now and put away a good helping of food, feeling more nervous as the minutes ticked by. What was he so afraid of? Thor hadn't proven to be violent towards him, and the mating had become endurable, but now he was back to day one, dreading bed time. His anxiety had him packing away more food than normal, leaving him feeling full and lethargic.

Thor said nothing to him the entire time, but when it was time for bed, Thor had them settled in no time at all. By the time Loki caught up with his surroundings Thor was already undressing. He was much too eager, this whole situation hadn't made a turn for the best. What suddenly made him so cheery? Was it because he thought he got Loki to climax? Or just because his competition had a strong chance of dropping out? Whatever it was, Loki didn't like it. At all.

But his body loved it.

"Was that your first climax today?" Thor asked, casually. He looked pleased with himself. He probably felt smug and he wanted to bring Loki to that mewling state again and boost his already overflowing ego. Thor impatiently urged him onto the bed, acting as though their earlier incident never happened. Loki's heart was in his throat as Thor's hands roamed his back, and he tried to keep his voice steady.

"My first in a mate." He lied. He lay down on the bed by default, but only after Thor climbed between his legs did he realise his mistake.

Thor looked down at his body curiously, as if seeing something new. "Was it pleasurable?"

"…Yes." Loki forced out. Thor looked pleased. He reached back to take hold of Loki's knees and prop them further open, but Loki took the chance to squirm awkwardly over onto his front. Thor let him, helping him pull over his legs, and gave Loki a curious cock of his brow. Loki pulled a face, though he wasn't sure what he was conveying, and lifted himself a little so he was kneeling. He did _not_ want Thor over his face during this, he would suffocate, _and_ be embarrassed by an erection.

Thor didn't seem to mind and leaned over for a random vial, just missing the illusion. Loki lowered his chest to the bedding to relax, ignoring his pride as his cheeks spread further. He fidgeted with the bedding as Thor lubricated his cock, already grunting. This was not a change for the best.

Then there was a finger at his entrance. Loki tried not to fight as it slipped in, stretching again the muscles from their earlier use. Loki had dug out as much cum as he could, but his tunnel travelled quite far up and his fingers weren't that long. Whether Thor expected to find his own seed was a mystery, but he took his sweet time fingering Loki and petting his back until Loki's hole was pliable. It was an enormous difference from their first couple experiences, Loki could guess Thor was feeling rather proud of himself for the progress.

It quickly became obvious Thor was enjoying himself. The man's cock was rock hard and smacking against Loki's backside as he moved his arm, scissoring his fingers and making Loki struggle to keep quiet. He was breathing heavily, swallowing every few breaths, and damn near trying to bury his whole fist. When it became too much Thor pulled out his fingers and instantly eased in his cock, moaning loudly. Loki's face burned at the union and he hunched his back with a grunt, but Thor just took the movement by wrapping his arms around Loki's waist, and proceeded to fuck him into the bedding.

Loki turned his head up so to be able to breathe as Thor bared his weight on him. The position left Loki unable to move besides sucking in air, but there was little need to move as Thor sawed away his sanity. A long drawn out moan fell from Loki's lips, and as a reward Thor bit into his neck.

Loki suffered another night beneath Thor, but this time he fought against the pleasure threatening to subdue and trap him.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to keep up the record:
> 
> Nuada 4 nights
> 
> Thor 4 nights
> 
> If anyone is interested, I'm posting a new fic. Its been sitting in my folders for a while now, and I decided to start posting it. I won't be as long or detailed as this one, but it will be Loki x Nuada. ...around other stuff, coz I is slut, and Loki is masochistic. [Mischief That Cannot be Managed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1902825)


	17. Nuada and Thor Day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am shoving two days into one chapter. Felt too lagging and filler-ish if I kept them apart. Want some action now dammit
> 
> I apologise for errors

**Chapter 17: Nuada and Thor Day 5**

_~Nuada~_

The first thing Loki thought when he woke up was the fact that he had three more days after today. Just three more days. He could do this. He could. Wake up, clean up, take potion, try to eat, then endure some mingling and fucking. He had survived this long, he could survive a little more.

Though the mingling now seemed would be mating where Thor was concerned. Whoever that man was yesterday, Loki didn't know him. He was decent at mating, Loki had to admit, but that was only because he suddenly felt like it. Maybe someone told him how Nuada mates, and he got jealous? Or he too just wanted to get this over and done with?

…Would Nuada wanted to mate twice a day too if he found out Thor had two rounds? The thought of it was less painful than Loki thought it would be, but it still bothered him. Being forced to receive a massage was still dubious consent no matter how good it felt. It was the damn thought that counted, not the coerced feelings. Like when he used to cry as a child, and Thrym tickled him. He may have laughed, but it was not the real thing.

Thrym was absent in the morning again, but any anger or irritation Loki harboured dampened into sadness, and he dragged himself through the morning. His hole was throbbing, giving him an unwelcomed reminder of Thor. He kept shuddering too, a hot flutter in his belly at the strangest times. He tore the bedding from the bed and threw it across the floor with half a mind to pee on it so the servants were sure to take it away, he wanted a clean bed tonight. He almost did pee on it too, but he couldn't bear for his disgust for Thor to be turned into something like "Oh poor Loki was so frightened he wet himself". No. Hel no.

With his body cleaned and his potion consumed Loki dressed reluctantly in Álfheimr clothing that was laid out. When ready he left and drifted down to breakfast where everyone was seated, and he was surprised to see Nuada back. Honestly, it was a shock he was back at all, if Loki's luck had anything to do with it.

Thrym was there, discussing his plans with his father for the hunting trip he and Thor were taking that day. Hopefully Thor would get eaten by a wolf. Then that wolf gets crushed by a rockslide. Then swallowed into a crevice. And a rock can crack on Thrym's head too.

Besides Thrym sat Thor aiming pointed looks now as if they shared a special connection. Loki did his best to ignore it, smiling stiffly because his father was addressing him at the same time.

Then there was Nuada. Quiet remote Nuada. Loki never realised before, but whenever Nuada wasn't talking he had that far away look, as if he was across the realms where Loki only wished he could be.

Loki sat through breakfast like the tired miserable lump he left, jumping only so high when his father ordered. The rest of the way Laufey could shove him, Loki was tired after fighting off the night's climax. His whole body was thrumming as if he exercised all his muscles, he was surprised he wasn't walking odd. Around him Laufey helped Thrym set up a proper team for their trip, saying little to nothing to Nuada. Loki heard not a thing about Balor, and Nuada didn't seem in a hurry to say anything.

And despite Loki feeling slow and idle himself, the morning was moving on, and breakfast soon concluded. Loki drifted along, not realising until afterwards that he hadn't given a goodbye to his father or Thor and Thrym. Nuada had a hand on the small of his back, walking him out the hall and into a corridor with no clear destination in sight.

After a few moments of wandering Nuada stopped to lean over. He tried to gain eye contact, pulling back his hand.

"Have I done something to upset you? Besides our nightly meetings?" he asked.

Loki looked at him with an exaggerated sighed. Somehow, he had been waiting for something like that. "No." he said, and gave a cheek spreading smile.

"I do not desire your fake smiles, Loki." Nuada said. Loki's entire face snapped into alarm, and Nuada stepped closer. "I wish I could be someone you can speak to… I apologize anyway for anything I have or will do to upset you without meaning to. I will never harm you intentionally."

Why couldn't that include mating? Nuada knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew it. But then again, Nuada technically never did _hurt_ him. Not in the way anyone cared about. Still Loki was tired, and he felt sad, strangely. He didn't have the strength to argue and debate. Loki shifted uncomfortably and scratched the back of his head, avoiding Nuada's gaze. "…It's not you. I'm fine. I am. I'm just…fine."

Nuada looked sceptical, and fished anyway. "Did Thor hurt you? Upset you?"

Well that was a quick guess. Loki blinked. Nuada was looking at him fiercely, as if waiting for word against Thor so he could turn his obvious animosity into actions. Nuada knew what he was doing was wrong and unfair, so why didn't Thor? Loki couldn't decide which bothered him more. But now with Thor named, Loki realised why he was feeling so down. He hadn't wanted it to bother him, but it stuck anyway…

"He didn't lift a hand to me." Loki said stiffly. Nuada just raised a brow at him to continue. After a moment of uncomfortable staring, Loki did so with an embarrassed sigh. "He called me 'not normal'."

Loki knew it shouldn't bother him coming from Thor, who cares what Thor Odinson thought? Did he even _think_? ...But it still hurt.

Nuada's face twisted in confusion. "He called you 'not normal'?"

"In comparison to _normal_ Jotuns, yes. So, I'm not normal. I didn't need reminding." Loki growled, glancing at the floor. Usually he was good at hiding his feelings, but either he was more bothered than he thought, or Nuada was more perceptive than he thought.

"The lout is ignorant, pay him no mind." Nuada said, and rubbed up and down Loki's arms.

"Hard to when he's in your personal space. And then some…"

Nuada sighed, then smiled mischievously. It made Loki cock a brow. "…If I win you, I hope he charges me."

Loki screwed his brows up. "What? Why?"

"So I can have a justified reason without starting war to beat him into the ground. We came first, you and I should be wed." To this Loki raised his brows high, and Nuada chuckled. "Yes it sounds selfish but I cannot imagine Thor's presence has been a pleasure to you. Were you all mine you would not be jumpy like this, holding back tears…And I would not have made my presence known at night until you could look me in the eye without seeing an enemy. This competition has done you no good. I wish could make you feel better…" Nuada trailed off, indecisive of how to continue.

Loki didn't know what to say to that. It made his heart flutter, but how could he know Nuada meant that? If his father couldn't care for him, how could a stranger?

Before he could dwell on it Nuada changed the subject, a bright smile on his face. "What would you like to do today?"

"Anything that doesn't involve my underside." Loki joked seriously.

"Would you mind showing me your magic?"

"My…magic?"

"If you feel up to it? It's a fascinating skill, one my blood line does not possess."

"…Okay." That was new.

With a small lift of his mood, Loki led Nuada to a work room that was restricted to the higher class only. It contained all of the equipment needed for things such as writing, crafting, and magical practice. It was a large room where four people at the most could practice or work without interfering with each other no matter their practice. It was usually empty though, but today there was a teacher and a student practising advanced runes. They insisted on giving up the space though, and hurried out to give them privacy.

When Nuada was perched happily in a seat, Loki started off with small illusions, making objects invisible and influencing the shadows and lighting in the room. Then he changed the appearances of objects and changed the colouring of Nuada's clothing to a green hue he only saw in books. It was his favourite colour, but it was alien to Jötunheimr's blue wastelands.

Nuada was impressed and asked all the right questions, and Loki grew confident enough to demonstrate offensive spells he had been trying to perfect, before his father found out and took away the books. In the process he accidental blew up a wooden cupboard, but as he and Nuada rushed to salvage the tools that burst from it, Nuada got an idea and gathered up the pieces of wood, and after an hour of carving and using Loki's magic to bind the pieces, he created the form of a horse, an animal used on many realms, except Jötunheimr and Muspelheim. Loki knew what it was, and in his bubbling emotion waved an effect into the wood and it came to life, and pranced in a predictable circle and neighed in a faded sound every fourth step. It had been a while since Loki had seen a horse, but they were too beautiful to forget.

They watched it trot about and laughed together. Loki had to swallow back his too-wide a smile. His earlier sadness was almost forgotten.

"That is amazing, Loki, utterly amazing." Nuada praised, petting a finger over the horse's back.

"It's quite cute. You are very talented." Loki said in return, peeking up to smile at Nuada for his handy work. It was an impressive figure for a quick make, it even have visible hair lines, and seeing as they'd made it together quite successfully, Loki couldn't help beaming. Everyone in Jötunheimr could sculpt ice so the novelty wasn't much, but wooden sculpting was difficult for their big hands. Loki had never bothered to try though, but seeing this, he wondered what other beautiful things could be made with wood.

"As a boy I created gadgets all day long, when I wasn't training." Nuada said, looking thoughtful.

"You're exceptional at both. Which do you prefer?"

"That's a question I haven't had yet… dear… I do love my tinkering and crafts. I _must_ train, but I do enjoy it. The crafts I suppose I enjoy a little more. What about you? Magic or reading?"

"Without reading there'd be no magic. I must read, but...reading."

Nuada smiled brightly. He looked incredibly handsome with that expression and it made Loki feel...not uncomfortable...but strangely obliged. As if he had to play along and be grateful, be _good_. He almost felt bad. Ridiculous.

"What?" he asked, trying but failing to hold Nuada's glance confidently. He looked away in case his secrets were revealed through his eyes alone.

"…You are most magnificent." Nuada breathed, never tearing away his eyes.

Loki blushed despite feeling worse. "…Thank you?"

Nuada laughed and released Loki from the gaze. The horse's magic had run out and he picked it up to toy with idly. They fell into an empty silence for a few moments until Nuada filled the space with a rather formal tone. "Would you like to accompany me to Álfheimr on our next day?"

"For the whole day?" Loki asked, stupidly, looking up in surprise. Of course it'd be for the day. Going to Álfheimr? The excitement didn't wait, and spread throughout his body like a child given new toys.

"Just for the day. You may bring guards with you if you'd like, not that anyone could get passed me. Or would try to. I will take you to our most beautiful sights near the palace. Nuala might even accompany us."

A trip off world? With the knowledgeable unbeaten Nuada? To Álfheimr? It sounded doable, his father might agree, and it definitely exciting to go visit a different realm. Surely he'd be allowed to go? He couldn't imagine any ferocious beasts lurking on Álfheimr, at least not around the palace? And he wasn't heavily pregnant or such so he could protect himself enough if anything went wrong. Surely his father trusted Nuada to keep it a safe trip? He couldn't be certain, so Loki tried to press down his eagerness and smiled to the side. "…I'd like to."

"Thank you." Nuada said, in earnest. Then his expression twisted deviously as he put the horse down on a work table, making Loki laugh nervously.

"What?"

"Your doubles, that magic, can I see it?"

"Oh," Loki almost grinned. "That trick I stole from Vanaheim's teaching. It just came naturally to me. I had the inborn ability, but that magic isn't a primary Jotun practice, so father let me study foreign magics to form it and use it. It's a lot more difficult to produce solid doubles though, it drains energy fast."

"But you dared use it in the trials?"

"If I could get an advantage I wouldn't have to hold them for long," Loki shrugged, "It didn't work as well as I'd hoped."

Nuada smiled, as if sorry, then gestured lightly. "Can I see them again?"

"You want to?" Loki asked sceptically.

"Yes," Nuada said, and stood up. He offered Loki his hand, and before Loki realised it he offered over his hand. Nuada pulled him up and stepped back, waiting eagerly. Loki chuckled, uncertain, but when Nuada didn't show any signs of being less interested, two more Loki's appeared on either side of Nuada.

He looked back and forth between all three of them, comparing every little detail. The doubles looked amused, and Loki tried not to laugh.

"Are they solid?" Nuada asked, looking at the one to his left.

"Do you want us to be?" the clone asked.

Nuada looked at Loki briefly before reaching out and touching the clone's shoulder. It felt real, cool and soft. "Amazing."

The second clone pulled at his sleeve. "I don't like to be ignored."

Nuada turned to it, his expression stuck between amusement and admiration. "I'm sorry."

"Only words." The first said, stepping closer. The second imitated the move in an identical manner, and turned its gaze on the first with a snarl.

Loki pulled a mock face of alarm and Nuada laughed.

"Speak for yourself," the second clone said, and turned to Nuada with a tilted gaze. Nuada tried and failed to look away, finding the clone's gaze so much more intense than the kind Loki ever shared, the kind Loki was certainly capable of. The clone smirked, and placed a hand on Nuada's chest. It felt so solid to Nuada, the feel, the pressure, but it was ripped away as the first clone shoved the other back.

"Back off."

"Oh, boys," Loki said in mock seriousness, "Let's behave."

"He started it."

"No, _he_ started it," the second countered, shooting a glare at Loki that made Nuada worry for a second, "Three of us in one room is just asking for trouble."

"Three against one." The first clone added.

"How about two against three?" a third voice said. Nuada nearly jump out his skin, and Loki snorted. He curbed it into a grin as everyone turned to find another Nuada behind the original.

"Oh, you are good Loki, you are very good," Nuada said as he looked over his own clone.

"I'll say," the second clone said, and stepped up to clone-Nuada. They gazed at each other, both smirking deviously in a way native to Loki. Loki's clone tilted his head attractively, his eyes half lidded, then pressed his fingers to clone-Nuada's forehead and pushed him back. The first clone laughed and grabbed the second, and they held onto each other in a way that made both Nuada stare openly.

Then suddenly their forms shook and then they were gone, and Nuada laughed, and turned back to Loki with a grin.

"You must have fun with those."

"I'd had some interesting conversations with myself." Loki chuckled, and realised with a heavy blush the _other_ things he could have chosen to do with his clones. The sex escapades he could enjoy alone were countless, unimaginable. How had he not thought of doing that? …All this mating was influencing him badly…

"You should make a clone of Thor when he's drunk and confront him with it." Nuada said, and Loki burst out into laughter. He slapped a hand over his mouth but the giggles didn't stop, and Nuada looked overjoyed to hear them.

"You have a n—" Nuada started, but he stopped himself, listening to the trickling of Loki's laughter. He shook his head when Loki prompted for him to continue. He didn't want to push his luck, even if it was a compliment.

Loki cleared his throat after, blushing for openly enjoying himself.

"You have a lot of potential," Nuada started, looking around the room, "A lot."

Loki's mood dampened somewhat. "Father won't let me learn anything offensive. Or rare." He added, with a snort.

"I can't teach you anything about magic, but Álfheimr has access to many things. We can arrange for you to have tutors in magic if you wish, if…if all works in our favour."

Loki stared, unsure of what to say to that. He picked up the toy and scratched at it. "…Any magic I wish?"

"Well, provided you won't use it to deliberately hurt anyone," Nuada chuckled.

Loki flushed. Nuada smiled, "The queen gets what he wants, but no one is above the law. So you may do as you will, Loki, as long as it harms none."

So he could study all the offensive spells he wanted, as long as he didn't attack people? He could do that, and just pray to be attacked so he could use them. Maybe provoke someone, he was good at that. Or he could even go hunting and use them on beasts. Elves didn't breed a lot, one baby and he could take time to go kill something, maybe send Asgard a boar carcass called Thor to put next to their stupid Midgard snake. Or maybe a mortal savage woman, name her Thor and ship her to Asgard, so finally Thor could go fuck himself.

Wait what

"Dear heart?"

Loki blinked back to reality. "What?"

"You've froze the horse."

Loki jumped; he had forgotten about it. The wooden horse now indeed frozen, covered in a layer of prickly ice. Loki mused briefly that it reflected his emotions, but gave Nuada an apologetic wince. It really was good craftsmanship.

"Sorry, I didn't realise."

"No harm done," Nuada smiled at him, and took the horse back. He felt around the ice, as if it were a curious thing. It led Loki to his own curiosity.

"How is it you can't be burnt by us?"

"Most Elven races have a natural defence to extreme elements. We're closer to nature than most other races, thus we've a closer bond. Not to say I could survive falling into a lake of fire or days in a Jötunheimr blizzard. But…it's handy, like now,"

Nuada took Loki's hand, putting the horse down, and held it firmly. His hand was cool, Loki noted, much like his own. Thor was still quite warm, even in prolonged exposure to their climate. Loki watched him quietly, and Nuada shook their linked hands.

"Try to burn me."

It came to Loki's attention that Nuada was using his right hand, and seeing as he was right handed, it would be a terrible shame should he lose his hand. He'd lose all his acquired skills, life would change drastically. Loki had enough conscious for the man to hesitate. But during the trials he had tried to burn him and nothing happened. So Loki hoped for his sake it still held out, and urged out wave of frostbite from his hand.

Nothing happened, just like before.

If anything, it was an odd reaction Loki hadn't noticed before. It was almost as if it met a barrier, stopped, and sent a message back that it was a dead end. Usually ice was sent out in waves, over the first frostbite that latched onto the target and sent to cover more surface, another layer flowing over and past the first ones until it was stopped. But with Nuada it wasn't given a chance to start, the process stopped automatically.

Was that maybe one of the reasons Nuada was so calm? Because he knew Loki couldn't hurt him suddenly with his ice?

Both curious and annoyed, Loki kept trying, but no matter the force or tactic, or emotion, it remained the same.

"That's just odd." Loki said when he gave up, awkwardly pulling his hand back.

"Not as much as Thor promising to find you a dragon," Nuada snorted.

Loki stilled, and looked down at his failing hands. His mind threw at him the traitorous sex from the day before, and again the question of if Nuada would ask for two tries a day crept up on him.

The look on his face must have alarmed Nuada. The Elf prince sobered and straightened, and connected the tips of his fingers in a respectful manner.

"I just meant…I didn't—"

"No, it's okay. I don't expect him to. I just…I remembered you speaking of it, and I've read of them…just wanted to give him a difficult task. Maybe he'd run off…"

Nuada visibly relaxed, and looked thoughtful. "Would you actually want one? If you could have one, would you love and care for it?"

Loki looked at him, sarcastically amused. "I thought dragons can't be tamed, or caught," he blushed, remembering his rant about the word _court_ , "I was just…mocking. I know he won't be able to find one. And if he does, who knows, it might swallow him."

Nuada looked comically alarmed for a moment, then smiled it away. "But if you could acquire one, would you want it? Or is it just a scapegoat to send Thor on a wild goose chase?"

"I…" Did he? Dragons looked like beautiful, magnificent beasts. Huge, strong, rare…but they breathed fire, and he was very vulnerable to fire. And if a dragon cannot be tamed, there'd be no sense in keeping one, especially if it could kill him with one snort. His father would stand over his ashy grave and throw in runes that said 'I told you so'.

"It wouldn't be possible anyhow…I'm a frost giant, not a fire giant," he repeated his father's words, then rolled his eyes, "But I'm no giant either, as Thor loves to point out. Whoever thought up our name might as well have called us Frost _females_ , stupid old idiots..." Loki trailed off in a sulky manner, examining his feet. He only realised now they were still bare, and felt better for it. Shoes just made him feel more uneasy.

"They were just immortalising your beauty, I'm sure no insult was meant. Look at Thor's lady friend from Asgard, if we come out of this without war I'd very much enjoy challenging her in a spar. She has power _and_ beauty. I assure you, females are not all submissive, or delicate. And clearly you are no woman."

"Still," Loki pursed his lips. He'd never had a problem with the word before, but this whole business just turned his _small-but-deadly_ image into some weak-dependent-husband-doll.

"If it makes you feel better, many Elves possess features of the opposite sex. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish man from women. Makes for a rather equal society."

"Jötunheimr would be too, if I didn't exist."

"If you didn't exist Jötunheimr would be a far less alluring place."

Loki blushed and shook his head, looking off. "You don't have to keep trying to compliment me."

"Then I suppose poetry is out of the question?"

Nuada laughed as Loki swiped at him.

Then as if he was slapped, Loki realised he'd forgotten about a rather significant fact to do with the Elf.

"Your father," he blurted, "How-…how is he?"

A resigned look came across Nuada face. "He still lives."

"Yeah…you said that."

"But that isn't why I want to take you to Álfheimr," Nuada said quickly, "It's just an unfortunate coincidence."

"I know… I hope he is well soon." Loki said, honestly.

"As do I. I think seeing you will cheer him up a little." Nuada smiled that dashing smile, leaving Loki to fall beneath another heap of guilt. He shook it off, as everyone did his feelings.

"I'll put on my best smile." Loki chuckled falsely.

But despite it all, he really did want to go see Álfheimr. He'd see grass and trees again, feel them, and _smell_ them. Would his hair go frizzy there, like on Asgard? Maybe it wasn't so hot there, he didn't know their climate. What would he be able to see? Who would he be able to see? Would the Elves like him? He really could put on a good smile, but something told him Elves were not easy to fool with trickery. But what did it matter, it's not like he'd ever go back.

The rest of their day followed well. Nuada told more stories, Loki told a few of his own, they both thought up imaginative ways for Thor to get hurt on his hunt and Loki made it through the day without being fucked into a surface. It was almost peaceful, Nuada was subtle and interesting enough to fool even Loki's nerves.

Only when dinner came did Loki start to feel strangely nervous about the upcoming mating. It was nothing new, so what was he getting all tingly for? It had never even hurt with Nuada. Thankfully, Thor and Thrym were back, and distracted everyone with their loud tales of victory. They had indeed brought back a trophy for Laufey, a humongous wolf, whose fur was now draped over his chair, fresh and soft. Loki made it a special point to look incredibly unimpressed, whilst trying not to laugh at the exact same expression on Nuada's face.

Thor did get hurt, he had a rather large three-clawed scratch on his forearm, but otherwise he was fine. The wound had been seen to and would heal until it dimmed into another scar he would probably boast about. Until he got clawed by a dragon, as apparently Thor _was_ actually going to searched for him a dragon if they wed. Nuada couldn't control his eyes, and in so neither could Loki his giggles.

The day flew by quickly for Loki, and soon he was back in his bed, grunting as Nuada leaned over him, gnawing and pawing at his body until his petty nervousness washed away, and he gave himself over to the activity with a defeated sigh. There was no resisting Nuada's attentions, and the sooner they did it the sooner he could sleep.

As if it was their first night Nuada handled him with extra care, and Loki had to give him credit for that. He left no stretch of skin without pampering, spending a fairly long while on the activity. It gave Loki a good while to study the other man, from the alluring lines on his face to the ashen skin pulled tightly over his sculpted body. He was so beautiful in his own way, even without the bulk of a Jotun. Still he seemed to try make up for it, tonight taking the chance to stroke Loki's cock as he kissed him deep until neither of them could breathe.

Idly, as Nuada suckled at his tender nipples, his defined shoulders rolling, Loki wondered again what their children would look like. He had the strongest feeling they'd end up large thanks to the Jotun blood. Where there any large elves? Any Thor's size or bigger? He may be Frostfemme, but it was more likely he'd have regular sized children, even if they were interbred. He tried to imagine sons, large and strapping in size, but with Nuada's skin. And his black hair, surely they would have hair between the two of them, even if they weren't technically Frostfemme. Would the Elven females find them attractive? Or would they be shunned? Elves weren't known to interbreed often, but maybe seeing as they would be royals it would give them attraction by default. He knew what it was like to be set aside because he was different, he wouldn't want that for his children… And what about facial hair—? No wait that's Thor.

Around his inner musing, it was clear Nuada was much more enthusiastic this night than the last and, Loki found shockingly, that he was too. He took the initiative to roll his hips just a little for his own extra pleasure, he arched out his neck pointedly whenever Nuada's mouth was near his chest, and found that holding onto Nuada's hips as the man thrust into him held an incredibly arousing element. He'd done it without thought, simply to stop clawing at his arms, but he ended up back to clawing, this time at Nuada's hips as his arms moved in sync. The more he moved his own body the better it all felt, the more sensations and desires he received; he wondered how he missed that before.

Maybe he was just finally getting used to it, like a job. An inevitable job, one you had to do, even if you didn't want to. You learnt the tricks of the trade that made it easier, shortcuts and clever substitutes. The final part was acceptance. Would acceptance to the job come next? No, he wasn't giving up just yet, not even for Nuada and his stupid smiles and stupid sick father and stupid mating and stupid conversation…he couldn't. He wasn't ready…not yet. Not yet…please not yet…

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

_~Thor~_

Thor's fifth day brought an awkward start. Loki honestly couldn't recall exactly when he'd fallen asleep the night before, so waking up pressed into Nuada's side was quite distressing. He stiffened against the warm body, trying to remember if he initiated this or not. Nothing came to mind, so it must've happened in their sleep. But it definitely couldn't be his doing, that would be silly.

It was difficult to squirm away, he didn't want to wake Nuada and have to explain why he was suddenly moving away, he didn't need the added guilt. He was _not_ the wrong one here, he shouldn't be feeling bad at all, no matter how kind or gentle Nuada was. Cuddling was something special only avaliable with consent, and definitely not needed for procreating. Nuada hadn't earned that privilege and he wouldn't be getting it, so cuddling was not on the agenda. Loki struggled out of his embrace and shifted a few spaces away, where it was cold and noticeably less comfortable. Nuada carried on sleeping, until Loki drifted back off, and woke again when he was alone.

Thrym wasn't there to wake him, and Loki realised he missed him again. In fact, he felt upset again at Thrym's continued absence, he was the one always saying he was 'there for him'. _Nonsense_ , the only one there for him was his potion. He didn't know what Thrym was doing, important or not, but it still felt like betrayal. Fine, that's fine, he'll be fine.

Loki grudgingly dressed in Asgardian robes, wondering if he'd have to wear them all the time if he went to Asgard. Would he be allowed to bring his own clothes? No, he most likely would not. And along with that, would he have limitations? Nuada had said as queen he could do what he wanted, so long as he hurt none, but would Asgard give him the same speech? Did _any_ of their brides get that speech, or were they bound by rules upon rules and practices? Queen Frigga honestly looked like she consulted an inner script of instructions before acting, he didn't want to live by instructions. He didn't want to have to learn Asgardian mannerisms and all their rules. Just thinking about it made him not want to leave his room. Asgard was a militant nation, similar to theirs he supposed only they were far less formal about it, and he would be an adversary bride on their territory, he suddenly didn't see how he could _conquer_ anything there. He'd probably be lucky if he could voice his opinion at the dinner table.

For the rest of the morning, Loki fell into a state of melancholy.

Breakfast however, brought a small uplift thanks to Nuada's appearance, giving him a reminder. He would be going to Álfheimr tomorrow. He had something to look forward to, at least, and decided to focus on that to get him through the day.

Thrym was absent from breakfast, Laufey said something about him at the training grounds. Thor was present, quieter without Thrym, and funny enough, visibly bothered by Nuada's presence. Nuada was not as subtle as usual and shot him glares whenever he wasn't looking, leaving Loki and the court to silently enjoy the competition.

Loki didn't get much down once he realised Thor would be having him today, and managed to nibble down a quarter of his initial plate. But even that stopped when he felt Thor toe at his feet beneath the table, sporting expressions that promised action in private.

Everything passed in an uncomfortable blur from there.

He could hear Thor speaking, he could feel his hands on his body, but he couldn't hear what he was saying. His mind was jumping from Álfheimr to their previous day, in which Thor said he was not normal. Thor only made it worse by taking him back to that room and bending him over a table.

"You look nice in red," Thor praised, lifting Loki's skirts.

"I'd prefer green," Loki muttered, his words either unheard or brushed off as Thor bunched the fabric on the small of his back. The golden prince cupped the soft flesh of Loki's thighs and manually parted them further, lifting him momentarily off the ground. Loki's centre of gravity decreased and he ended up on his elbows, glaring at the ugly wooden surface of the table.

How much wood would he get to see in Álfheimr? All the wood in Jötunheimr had been imported many years ago, and had long lost its scent and true colour.

Thor's fingers were inside him before he knew it, making him grunt. Thor leaned on his lower back with his free hand, obviously watching closely as he sawed in two of his fingers. The fingers were wet, but the act was abrupt and for once Loki didn't feel like holding his tongue. He was about to complain but the words caught on his tongue, a delicious rotation of Thor's fingers being the culprit. They pushed deeper, then he removed them just as suddenly.

Then to Loki's shock, Thor spread his cheeks with his hard thumbs and bent over behind him, until Loki could feel his hot breath on the wet exposed skin. He stiffened painfully, staring with a furious blush at the opposite wall as he waited for what Thor planned to do.

The wait wasn't long, and Thor spat twice at his hole. Loki flinched, enduring a deep shudder as Thor used his fingers to spread it and press it in. Thor quickly got back up and fiddled with his clothing, releasing himself, before he leaned over Loki and purposely pressed his cock along the crack of his ass. Loki whined audibly at his weight, and Thor held an open palm to his face.

"Care to share?" he asked, a deep chuckle vibrating through his chest. Loki could feel it on his back, giving him a dirty cheap thrill.

Loki almost refused, why make Thor's pleasure more? He wanted pain anyway. But he compromised at the last second, and spat once to please his subconscious in a petty determination to balance the pros and cons.

Thor took it without question and coated his cock, adding more anyway. Loki shifted grumpily to get comfortable, his face still burning from having Thor's face nearly pressed up his backside. Then Thor was pressing in, and they moaned together.

The Asgardian prince seated himself balls deep before stopping entirely, and decided to let his hands roam. Since faking his peaks and participating that little bit more, it got Thor off his case (and body) much quicker than usual. But Thor seemed to be much warmer to him now, if you could call it that. And worse, Thor had taken a liking to touching him often. Loki could recall Thor had physical contact with him the entire way here, putting a hand on the small of his back, pulling his arm, nudging him along—he really didn't like the change.

It seemed to take action now again, and Thor mapped out the curves of Loki's body, sliding them beneath his clothing and fiddling, finding, tracing—Thor explored him. And Loki might have enjoyed it, had it felt like anything but exploring. They were not caresses, or pets, or strokes, it was for Thor's pleasure, for his peace of mind. Thor was trying to get used to him, it was becoming painfully obvious. And the amount of effort was offensive, considering what he truthfully must think of him. Why would Odin force Thor here? It was obvious he didn't want to be!

The ranting flew out of his head as Thor circled his hips, starting a slow thrust. He had a hand on the base of Loki's neck and the other digging into his hip, using them to tug Loki back, keeping his head down and rear up. It was an incredibly dominating position, one that both frightened and aroused Loki to the point he couldn't control the sounds coming from his mouth. Each time he worked up the effort to say something, anything, Thor sped up, flexing his fingers and pulling him back harder. It eradicated any articulation and Loki dug his fingers into the wood for something to hold onto and ground himself.

Then Thor leaned over, hands on either side of Loki's head, and breathed into his ear. "Am I doing it right, _Loki_ …?"

It was as if Thor was deliberately trying to annoy him, his voice deep and full of arrogant implications. He gave Loki no chance to answer, slamming up into his body with enough force to rock the table. It was not painful, but it had the potential to be, and so shook Loki with dirty shivers as he worked his channel hectically. Their balls were slapping loudly, the glide in smooth now that Loki's body was responding. His cock had stiffened somewhat, bouncing painfully against the wood through the clothing.

Thor smirked against him for rendering him speechless and said no more.

Within a couple minutes Loki realised his body was working up to an orgasm, one he was spurring on by clenching his hole and arching his back in. He hadn't meant to, he didn't even know he had until he evaluated himself, but no amount of will allowed him to cease it. He struggled against the peaking point, bombarded by both their pleasures and commotion. He couldn't come, he would have a very curious Thor on his hands, and more molesting. And not to mention the possibility of a child, he knew the potion wasn't completely foolproof. Their children would no doubt be big and large…

But he peak continued to climb and Loki started to panic. He tried to stop Thor, he tried to rise up and interrupt him, but Thor would just press their bodies closer and grunt into his ear, making him weak in the knees all over again. It felt _good_ , it was so tempting to just let it all go, and he knew it was bad. He couldn't find his voice, he couldn't move and he was losing control by the second. Loki sobbed in defeat, clawing at the wood angrily, ready to accept his humiliation. Then suddenly a sharp crack went through the air and he heard Thor yelp. The man dropped on top of him, crushing them both, before falling right off onto the ground.

Loki remained where he was, squashed into the wood, clinging on and staring wildly at the opposite wall. Then he realised he was leaning on something blue. Ice. He'd covered the table in ice. ..What had he done?

Slowly, reluctantly, Loki got up and peeked around. Thor was on the floor, blinking as if he just woke up, a hand at the back of his head. There was no blood, he looked intact, so Loki looked back at the table with a loud laugh. Thor had slipped off the table from where he was leaning, his hands couldn't find purchase on the ice, not like Loki's skin could. Loki laughed again, and laughed some more, until Thor made it back up, blushing, looking embarrassed and confused.

 _Good_.

Needless to say by the time Thor continued, Loki's peak disappeared and he made it through without a climax. Thor still believed him, which was stupid, and offensive when you thought about it. If Thor actually cared he'd try make sure his partner climaxed, wouldn't he? Nuada made sure… He almost wished to somehow let Nuada know that, tell him he was a better man than Thor in nearly everything... _than_ Thor, not in general. …Maybe one day…

After the sex, Thor had ordered for drinks and snacks. Loki was glad for it, it'd keep the man occupied, but it didn't quite work this time, Thor seemed to have things on his mind.

"If I cannot find you a dragon, can I bring you back a wolf? Midgard has incredibly beautiful ones, especially in the snowy areas."

"Can't I come with and choose my own pet?" Loki grumbled, chewing moodily on bread. It was becoming a pain to force away his erection, especially seeing as his body _wanted_ to find release. It was incredibly unfair.

Thor frowned apologetically. "I wouldn't have said no, but your father has a point. You'll be pregnant."

"Yes, not _dead_ ," Loki shot him a glare.

Thor blinked. "…Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem…moody." Thor said carefully, then his eyes widened. "Do you think you're…?"

Loki snorted at the idea. "No. A couple days pregnancy can't create mood swings."

"Oh…did I hurt you—"

"No, Thor!" Loki hissed, scowling off.

The blond remained quiet after that. They ate in silence for a while, until Thor spoke again.

"This is not fun for me either."

Loki looked up at him, slightly alarmed, as well as offended. It wasn't _fun_ for him either? _Him_ who had just fucked so enthusiastically?

Thor continued, ignoring Loki's twisted expression. "But I'm trying to make the best of it. At least the se—mating is better now, isn't it?" Loki couldn't bring himself to answer, he was comically stuck between two emotions so he stared. Thor sighed. "Look, your father agreed to this. Thrym is friendly and we're doing well. I endured quite a humiliating conversation with my father about Jotun mating and I even asked Thrym for advice on how to please you. But he's right, you don't seem to like _or_ want most of it and I don't know what else to do other than my duty. I'm sorry if you hate me. But I'm doing my part to make this work. If you're not going to work with me…"

Oh, oh Thor just had to turn this around on him, didn't he? He was going to punch Thor, one of these days. "My _father_ agreed to this, _yes_. Not _me_. And I hate all of you," Loki added spitefully. He got up and stormed off, leaving Thor to blink at his retreating figure.

Stupid Thor, stupid Thrym, stupid father and stupid fucking Nuada for making him wish it was already tomorrow. If he could hate anymore he'd crumble out of pure emotion.

This time Loki fled to the spot he made his potion. No one ever went up there, so he sat alone against the wall, allowing himself to imagine what Midgard and Álfheimr were like. He only managed to keep from shedding a few angry tears by reminding himself it couldn't last much longer. Asgardians were impatient, and once Balor died Nuada would probably give up. Maybe if Asgard gave up, and Loki stated that he didn't want a union, Nuada would give up too. Somehow, in the grand scheme of things, he could believe that. Nuada would let him go if he asked…

' _Thor says he's trying, it's something._ ' His inner voice whispered.

"It's too late."

' _You don't say that when he's fucking you._ '

"I can't say _anything_ when he's fucking me."

' _Admit it, he could be worse. He started off worse. He can only get better._ '

"After he owns me, he'll have no reason to. He's just trying to get me pregnant."

'… _Good point._ '

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Hunger drew Loki from his hiding place. It was towards the afternoon. He had no idea where Thor was, or anyone of significance, and crept inconspicuously towards the kitchens for a nibble. But like any child sneaking about, he was bound to be caught.

"Loki, I want to talk to you."

Loki flinched, and turned sourly to meet his father. "Yes?"

Laufey raised a brow, arms folded. He had scrolls in one hand and a rather irritable look on his face, Loki wondered if Thor had run to rat him out. He didn't peg for being a tattle-taler, but only Laufey had actual grounds to command Loki.

"Nuada came to me today." Laufey said instead.

Loki blinked. "…Oh?"

"You know, if you were upset that you couldn't go hunting with Thrym and Odinson you could have just come ask me and I would have made a plan. You didn't have to get Silverlance to opt to take you Álfheimr."

"I was not _upset_ ," Loki laughed, bitterly. "And what would you have done? Sent Thor and I on a brunch on the nearest hill? You stopped letting me camp a long time ago—"

"For you own safety! There are countless hungry eyes in our realm. Would you rather have me let you go off wandering and get raped by the masses?"

"You sent them with a team yesterday! Why can't I have that?!"

"Because once you're mated off you won't be travelling at all! It's called counterproductive. You'd be far unhappier being used to prancing around the land whilst stuck in your home with your children. I know you think me cruel but one day you'll understand."

Loki grit his teeth and shook his head. He was ready to have this argument as many times as it took for them all to give up. "I don't see why having these children right now is so damn important—"

"You know full well why. You're a dam material, Loki, and a prince, it's perfect for—"

"And I did not _ask_ Nuada to take me anywhere, he _offered_. I said yes because I know you'd want me to play the obedient bitch."

In a second Laufey had him by the arm, lifting him until he was on his toes and pulling feebly to escape. "Don't think I won't put you over my knee." He hissed angrily.

"I don't think my arse belongs to you anymore." Loki spat back at him, ready to kick his way free.

Laufey dropped him roughly, and nudged him into the wall. "You will show me respect."

"I thought you hated when I lied." Loki retorted. Laufey's entire demeanour twitched angrily, giving Loki the opening to grin nastily. "What? Are you going to send me to bed without dinner? Are you going to hit me? Are you going to throw me in a windowless cell? All of these things will be bad for baby making. Oh, what do we call it…oh, it's called counterproductive."

They remained locked in heated gaze until Laufey eased back. "…I think that settles it then. You will not be going to Álfheimr."

This made Loki hesitate, and Laufey turned away back from the corridor he came. Loki stepped after him. "What? You can't deny him, you've gone through all this trouble—"

"As king I do as I please. When he is king he can do the same, and until then he'll bow to my decree, as you do."

No going to Álfheimr? No that couldn't happen. He wanted to go. Loki rushed after him. He grabbed his arm, but Laufey brushed him off. "…No, father, wait! He _wants_ to take me."

"Well that is too bad. You have no manners or respect, you'll disgrace Jötunheimr should you go, and I will not have that."

Loki ran around in his path, forcing him to stop. "I will behave! You just make me angry!"

"You're an insolent little shit," Laufey spat, poking Loki in the chest. Loki stumbled back, watching him with apprehension. "I can make you livid, mad, _murderous_ —it matters not. You owe respect to me whether you hate me or love me _or_ couldn't give a damn about me. _That_ is the silent rule of politics. And should you marry Thor, I am going to laugh as Asgard falls on its backside with you two fools in charge."

Loki flinched back, hurt. He embraced himself and shrunk back. "…I am no fool."

"Maybe Nuada will knock some sense into your head if he marries you, Norns know you need it." Laufey hissed, "How can I trust you to go to Álfheimr without doing something stupid?"

Loki fought to keep his eyes from watering. "I'll be leaving all the stupid here with you and Thor."

Laufey's eye twitched. "Do you hear the things you say to me?"

"Do you?!" Loki barked. "…I want to go."

Laufey scoffed, and shoved Loki aside as he walked off. "Maybe I'll think about it."

Loki remained where he was, leaning into the wall.

He'd ruined it. He wouldn't be allowed to go to Álfheimr now. He couldn't bet on his father's good graces to be enough to let him go. Could he really refuse Nuada? He should've swallowed his pride. Why could he never do that? He should've known it was too good to be true.

' _You're the one that ruined it_ , _fool_ ,'

" _ **SHUT UP**_!"

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nuada 5 nights
> 
> Thor 5 nights


	18. Álfheimr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tries not to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lateness, here is what I was doing:
> 
> -Worked some HECTIC overtime, siriusly I am so fucking pooped I could use some Odinsleep now
> 
> -Added somewhat to this chapter coz you guys inspire me
> 
> -Wrote Loki x Jotuns oneshot
> 
> -Wrote Loki x Laufey oneshot
> 
> -In the process of writing a cracky smut fic of Loki x various Marvel males with copious funny Mpreg in which Victor Von Doom suffers the outcomes because Loki decided to use his place to crash and nest.
> 
> I hope this fic is still intriguing to you all, and maybe my other fics will serve to entertain as well. Also 600 kudos? asghdfgas thefuckness thank you.
> 
> _I apologise for errors!_

**Chapter 18: Álfheimr**

Loki knew he was cursed when he woke up when Thor was still around. His only saviour was that he didn't alert Thor to his presence. He opened his eyes wearily on instinct as sleep dissipated, automatically wondering if he was already late to breakfast. But he was met with a far more pressing issue, namely Thor's buttocks as he stumbled out of the bed, bending here and there to grab his discarded clothes. A hot flush went through Loki's body and he shut his eyes immediately, going stiff so to remain inconspicuous. His entrance clenched just enough to bring to his attention the slimy residue from the night that was waiting to drip out of him.

Thor's movement must've woken him. Loki wished he could just genuinely fall back to sleep, but he was left to suffer and listen to Thor's morning groans and shambling. And to top it off, he was lying on his front, his left leg brought up besides him and covered as he had the fur bunched under his chest and neck, but the rest of his back, arse and legs were bare and stretched out. It was dangerously tempting to pulling in his body, but he had a feeling Thor would leave him be if he just kept dead still. He felt like cornered prey, flattened against a stone as he tried to blend in lest the big bad wolf see him. Norns, he had just woken up and he was already pissed.

Despite ranting to himself for being stupid with his behaviour he remained under the guise of sleep until Thor left. A good few (and difficult) seconds after the door closed Loki jerked and ripped the furs over his body before quickly settling down as if it never happened. He lay for a while longer, chastising himself and inventing ways to kill Thor, until a knock at the door sent him fake-sleeping again.

"Loki?" The door opened. It was Thrym.

Loki kept still, indecisive in how to respond. If he recalled, he was mad at Thrym.

"I can tell the difference between your sleep-breathing and your pretend sleep-breathing." Thrym shut the door and walked in, making Loki snort.

"Why bother? I won't be here for much longer, then you won't have to pretend-care." Loki pointedly avoided giving Thrym his gaze as he slowly sat up, pursing his lips.

Thrym stopped. "…What is wrong, Loki?"

"What is wrong?" Loki repeated angrily. The bed smelt like Thor, the room smelt like Thor, his fucking hair smelt like Thor. Or maybe it was just his upper lip. Either way it was all pissing him off something terrible, and unlike before, he didn't feel safe telling Thrym so. And that made him angrier. "Why aren't you with Thor? He'll be all alone today, he'll need someone to hold his hand."

"…I am going to ignore this because I am in a particularly good mood. Come on, up time."

"Why don't you just stop, okay?" Loki fought him way to the other side of the bed, dragging the furs with him. He had little problem with nudity but he had much problem with being nude and soiled. "Just go back to your duties of making friends with Asgard, and leave me to fight this battle on my own."

"Maybe you wouldn't have to fight if you just accepted it!"

"Accepted it? Did you just say that?!" Loki gaped at him. He felt the rejection even though he tried not to.

"Loki, Loki look at me," Thrym marched up to Loki, crouching to catch his gaze. Loki turned away defiantly. "Loki… I have to take father's side, the princes' sides. Do you think I'm doing this to hurt you?"

Loki sneered. "No, that would imply that you actually bothered to think of me."

"Don't be ridiculous. I know we can't expect _you_ to play nice with the princes, _you_? I know we can't, so I'm trying to help you! Do you think Thor will dare hurt you, or even think of it, with me cosying up to him? Don't you think he'll second think it? He may not be able to handle you, but he's not going to hurt you when he's meeting with me for drinks the next day. Can't you see? The more you push them away the more I have to compensate!"

"I never asked you to do that!" Loki shouted. There were tears in his eyes, it took all his strength not to shake. Could he believe Thrym? Was that really his reasoning?

"I'm your brother! You don't have to!"

Loki swallowed a sob. He shook in anger, hopelessness, heartache—it felt like his heart had exploded and became a waterfall, gushing out his life-force. Thrym was scowling at him, an expression so unlike him. It shook Loki further, he didn't know if he wanted to hug Thrym or hit him.

He was just so angry, he wanted to burst!

Then Thrym was shaking him by his arms, kneeling in front of him. "We have to make the best of this! We can't stop this Loki, so we have to make the best of it!"

Was Thrym's voice breaking? Loki sobered and stared at him, a warm feeling fluttering in his chest. But while Thrym's care and concern warmed him, his words left him hollow. Thrym thought the battle over, he was making preparations for the outcome.

He had never said he would help Loki escape this, but hearing him actively giving in made Loki feel weak. Was it truly time to settle in and make the best of where his life was going? Was the battle over?

Loki started crying.

Thrym was around him in a second, crushing him to his chest as he cried. Loki balled his fists against Thrym and shook violently, crying out loudly in an angry frustrated sound, then choking in a breath as he sobbed out the pain that dwell beneath it. He gasped against Thrym's chest, allowing him to pull him over into his lap as he settled besides him. Thrym rocked him back and forth, a hand cradling his head and the other wrapped around his body until all Loki could register was Thrym. He cocooned Loki in warm and blue and murmurs until Loki calmed, sniffling against his chest, tears spit and snot coating them both.

When Loki was silent once more, staring blankly into Thrym's arm, Thrym squeezed him and nodded at the dried mess over him chest. "I'll tease you about that next week."

Loki replied in a disinterested groan and burrowed further into Thrym's arm.

Thrym kissed his head. "Come on, Icicle. You're going to Álfheimr today, time to get dressed."

Loki's heart skipped a beat. Despite wanting to remain brain dead and even more difficult, Loki shifted and looked up, wiping his nose as a beat of excitement filled him. "I-I am?"

"Yep. Father told me, he said he was going to surprise you. Probably after making you cry himself."

Loki scowled and shifted quickly off Thrym's lap. Thrym let him go, an awkward flaky bundle of fur and tears. Loki stumbled around the furs as he pulled them with him, making sure the cleaning utensils were there before he coughed and glanced at the door. "Could I have some privacy?"

"You won't do anything stupid?" Thrym asked wearily, "I know you're distressed—"

"If I _do_ do anything stupid it won't be today," Loki sniffled, wiping his nose on the furs. "I'm not missing out on this trip."

It pacified Thrym and he nodded sadly before leaving. Loki waited patiently until he was gone to let out a huge breath and smile in awe and hesitant excitement. He was going to Álfheimr! He was really going! Suddenly the day seemed so much brighter, it all did. His mother had always said that anything could happen tomorrow, you just had to have the patience to wait, and the strength to hope.

This was a good thing, this was a small victory. Or at least an aid to keep him sane. Maybe Álfheimr will even give him ideas for his future, he couldn't yet give in, not until he was still free to fight. He still had his potion, Thor was easily put off and Nuada would surely hit the road if he demanded. It was really just all about timing. And realising that, Loki saw just how dangerous a rope he was walking…

But he was going to Álfheimr, fuck everything else.

Unlike any of the other days Loki gladly cleaned up and got dressed, making sure any trace of Thor was gone and that he was exceptionally neat and tidy. He took his potion with a happy bounce that only increased the closer he got to the door. He removed a little hue from the mirage vial on the table and made sure there wasn't a smudge of dirt or a knot in his hair that he missed. He was going to Álfheimr, and the Elves were very finicky, he didn't want to show up looking like he crawled out of a mating den.

In his excitement Loki didn't feel the burning in his stomach that morning, and hurried out down to breakfast. Idly he wondered if Thrym would be at the table or returning to his room to fetch him, then wondered how to face his father. Did Laufey know that he knew? Must he act surprised? How grateful did Laufey expect him to be? And in front of company too…

The guards were left with amused and raised brows as for the first time since this whole ordeal Loki ran past them, his face alive again. Loki scurried past everyone, nearly bouncing on his heels as his mind shot straight to Álfheimr. He made an effort to control himself as he entered the dining hall, but couldn't stop the smile when he saw Nuada.

The prince must have been waiting for him, watching the entrance. He returned the smile, a twinkle in his eyes.

Loki quickly found his place besides his father. He was saved from an initial awkward 'good morning' when Thrym walked in, pursing his lips playfully when he spotting Loki. Loki smiled softly, his usual mischievous smile, then looked at his father with just a slight effort of trouble.

"Father."

"Loki, sleep well?" Laufey asked, sipping casually from a goblet.

Thor made his presence known by shifting and smiling when Loki looked up. His body automatically clenched, reliving last night's activities. He passed a fake smile back and looked down at his empty plate, nodded towards his father.

"I did thank you."

"Thrym told you then?"

"Yes," Loki tried not to smile. He felt like his whole world had suddenly lifted out of the darkness, if only for just one day.

"Thank you for making yourself presentable." Laufey said, teasingly. The table shared a chuckle and Loki blushed, but held his tongue against his usual retorts.

"Thank you," he mumbled instead, looking at Nuada who was now drinking from his glass.

"I trust you'll represent Jötunheimr dutifully and maturely?" Laufey asked. Loki could detect the seriousness of his tone, but he had no intentions of resisting when it could still be pulled from under his feet.

"Yes, father."

"Thank you. It will be educational and neighbourly. Perhaps you should visit Asgard too."

Loki didn't know quite how to react to that, so he shut his mouth and nodded.

Breakfast seemed to take forever. Loki ate properly, excited and nervous but still he seemed to maintain his appetite. He would need the energy and he wanted to be unhindered from any problems so he could enjoy the day. Thrym was smiling at him again and he returned it, like they used to. Thor seemed to sulk off to the side. Thrym really ought to hold his hand.

Finally the wait ended and Laufey decided it was time for him and the court to get to business. Both Loki and Nuada on their feet seconds after Laufey. The king sent off the court and turned to Loki, petting his hair down.

"I trust Nuada and the Elven guard will look after you, Álfheimr isn't too dangerous a place." Laufey looked over Loki's shoulder, Loki could feel Nuada's presence. "Just keep an eye on him, Loki has a tendency to do risky things."

"He'll be fine with me." Nuada chuckled. Loki tried his best not to scowl.

Laufey drew Loki in for a hug and nuzzled his hair. "Behave." He stressed.

This time Loki scowled lightly. "I will."

"Go on then, be careful. I want him back."

Nuada gave Laufey a bow and placed his fist over his heart in promise. Loki wondered what kind of trouble Nuada would get into if he sneaked away and disappeared for a while.

"Nuada," Thrym called, taking Laufey's place as he left. "Take care of him. I will greatly lament losing my favourite brother."

Loki blushed as Nuada slinked an arm around his waist. "My gain will not be your lose, my friend." Nuada smiled, giving Loki a squeeze.

"Enjoy yourself, Loki." Thrym added. Loki smiled happily.

A group of guards escorted them out towards the Bifrost site. Loki struggled to control his eagerness, he didn't want to seem too happy and have Nuada take advantage of it, and nor (for some reason) he didn't want his people to feel hostile toward Nuada for taking him away while he looks so enthusiastic—it was suspicious. One would think he wouldn't be returning, especially seeing as it was _him_ , and he was Laufey's precious Frostfemme. Loki would have dismissed the guards, but he noticed the way Nuada glancing around cautiously, but Loki knew it was not for naught. There were still many Jotuns who were against the idea of merging with a foreign realm. Nuada was skilled, but he would not be able to fend off an avalanche of Jotuns if things got out of control.

The pathway to the site was not populated however, and they made it without incident. It wasn't too long a walk but Loki was happy for the freedom and stretched his legs, feeling his skirt sway in the breeze. With each step his smile got wider and a bounce threatened his steps, and then they were standing in the seal to be transported. It wasn't his first time off world, he had been to Asgard those few times, but he had been too young to remember much. When Nuada fastened their bodies together Loki grabbed onto him with itchy fingers. He looked back at the guards who looked quite worried, and the palace beyond.

 _'Goodbye_ ,' he thought unsympathetically, and held close to Nuada as they left in a flash of light.

Unlike what he remembered, the journey wasn't all colours and wind. There was a sharp jolt and the sensation of falling, only it was up. There was a clandestine light all around them, but it was too bright for his eyes no matter how small he squinted. The sudden terror of falling out the loop struck him and he clung to Nuada's neck, taking comfort in the thought that if he did somehow fall he would drag Nuada with.

Then gravity was present once more, there was something solid beneath his feet. Loki held his breath as he looked up from Nuada's shoulder.

Green.

That was the first thing he saw. Green. There was so much green. Green and brown. And swirly blue. But so much _green_ , and some gold on the brown! Wait trees were green. Grass was green—or were the trees brown?

Greedily Loki twisted his head and gawked around the landing sight which he realised was what they called a garden. He stumbled out of Nuada's arms and looked around excitedly, finding a variety of green plants with colourful flowers on them. He had only really seen these in scrolls and books and faded memories he failed to hold onto, but now they were real.

The air was warm, he noted, enough to notice it, but it was not hot. He touched his hair as if he would be able to feel it reacting strangely to the climate, but nothing happened. It actually felt comfortable, and he looked up sharply at the sky. It was a faded gray—where was the yellow sun? Surely with all this green there needed to be sun. But perhaps no sun was good, heat wasn't a Jotun's friend.

He looked back around, and realised the gold and brown belonged to the face of a humongous monument behind them, which was the royal castle, and the blue he'd seen was water. They were on the edge of a cliff that overlooked an ocean, a transportation site situated in the midst of a garden. The tides licked kindly at the pediment of the land below, but they were safe and very high up. There were trees inland away from the cliff-side, but the transportation seal was surrounded by little miniature trees, little plants and there was even what looked like benches sit on.

There was so little of the grey and blue he was used to, it just felt completely alien—but it wasn't unpleasant. When he finally remembered he had company he turned back to Nuada, and saw a group of guards approaching from the wooden structure. He drifted back to the other prince, who embraced him comfortingly around the waist as the strangers approached.

"Prince Nuada, are you well?" The head guard asked. He was an Elf too, much bigger and broader than Nuada himself. If anything he was Thor's size, and he seemed to be the only guard there with such a large figure. They all had the same pasty skin, but their hair ranged from white blonde to a deep brown.

"I am most well, Egill. Meet Loki Laufeyson, I will show him Álfheimr this day."

Immediately the guard bowed to Loki, who had to hold back a childish smile, the other guards following after.

"Prince Loki, Álfheimr has been waiting anxiously for word of a union."

Loki sobered immediately. All the Elven men were staring at him, but not in an unkind manner. They looked like they were waiting, waiting for something to be said to quell their hopeful expressions. They were waiting to hear if Loki was pregnant.

 _All_ of Álfheimr was. In fact, all of the realms were awaiting that monumental day when the healers would announce to Laufey he was with child, and whose it was. People everywhere were actually thinking about it and waiting patiently for that day, for the outcome to decide which wedding they would be attending, and the Elves expected him to come live here with them, as one of them.

…Awkward.

But at least none of the guard was sneering at his blue skin, he didn't want to go to Asgard if he'd receive that.

"There is no promise yet, Loki is just visiting." Nuada said. He kneaded his fingers into Loki side and Loki leaned in, grateful to be saved from babbling pointlessly. But at the same time he wanted to pull away and punch him in the jaw, and the rest of the men gathered. Then run wild as they and Laufey chased him. And probably Thor with Odin on his back.

"Shall we escort you to the king, your highnesses?" Egill asked, and Nuada accepted.

Egill bowed gracefully for his size and turned, and led the way into the huge wooden palace. The guards spread themselves around Loki and Nuada and walked them up to the palace, but the air itself felt benevolent. The Elves weren't shy about taking their visual fills, leaving Loki stuck between blushing furiously and feeling pressured, but Nuada seemed perfectly at ease. Surely Nuada would've chased them off if they posed a threat or made him uncomfortable.

The royal palace was made of stone as well, stone, wood and gold. Not as much gold as Asgard, nowhere close, but the lack of it only heightened the effect where it was used. Despite being made of wood primarily, and not ice, the structure looked plenty strong and Loki admired the earthy colours. It even looked warm. There were images on the walls, graven in with coloured stones, but it was shiny and smooth despite all the cracks. Loki couldn't tell what it was, but all the small pieces together made beautiful portraits of Elves whose names he did not know. There were quite a few sculptures too, mostly of females, made of a strange white stone. It statues were boring, if Loki dared voice an opinion, even though well done, standing in dreary poses and doing nothing.

As they went, Loki fastened securely against Nuada's chest and looked shyly around at the Elves they soon passed. There were men and women, royals and servants, and guards and even a few children. The children—they were _tiny_! Tiny and weak looking little things. They were fast and agile though, servant hands unable to catch them as they ran about clearly up to mischief. Jotun children were large, born large, and grew quickly into stocky little devils that could knock down anything when excited enough. He had been knocked down by mere children more than he cared to admit, leaving him with a repellence for them. But now that he had others to judge by, all the Elves were of small statue. The women especially were tall and slim, their cheeks hollowed and their waists small. They dressed in fine linen and soft fabrics that fluttered in the lightest breeze, much like the outfits he had been brought to wear. Loki didn't think the men looked all that different, in fact he almost could not determine the gender of a few of the Elves, just like Nuada said. Most of the men could easily be Frostfemme if they painted themselves in blue and put on a little weight.

In return, the people looked extremely surprised to see him and even overjoyed, but Egill damped their hopes by shaking his head and saying in a strange language the same short words to all who stepped forward looking like they were going to congratulate Nuada. In response Nuada smiled at his people, almost in apology, and Loki found guilt bubbling into his throat.

Unlike the Asgardians no one pulled a face or glared at him, instead he received many admiring glances. He could only imagine how awkward this could have been if it was Asgard he was prancing into, he'd suspect them all of being insane. Would he really enjoy a trip to Asgard? He didn't think he could handle scowls and taunts from them right now, or even forward sexual advances, like with that Fandral.

Up a large flight of stairs, they turned down just a few corridors before coming to a room filled with plants and books. The guards bowed and left them alone, and the thing that attracted Loki most was the smell of earth and the array of colours. Jötunheimr was terribly bland in comparison.

But it was the king in a seat by the window that attracted Nuada. He pulled Loki over, and they bowed together. Loki tried not to show emotion, and pressed his lips together when the old man spotted him.

"Father, are you well?"

"Yes, my son. Loki," Balor smiled widely and reached out for him. His hand was shaking an effort, bone thin and frighteningly frail. Loki feared he was an animated corpse, and that hand was aiming his way.

Loki's heart skipped a beat, and with subtly prompting from Nuada he hesitantly put his hand in Balor's. "Good to see you, your Grace."

The old man gave him a pat, his own hands cold enough for Loki to acknowledge, and looked up happily, but not hopefully. He knew a proper meeting would have been called if Loki turned out to be pregnant. Laufey would not just left him go permanently without formal means. "What is the occasion?"

"I am taking Loki on a small tour, a day out will do us good I think." Nuada said, and Loki bubbled in eagerness again. Despite trying to focus on Nuada's father he couldn't help glancing around at all the colours, it was just so beautiful. And yet, so bland to those that saw them each day. He was sure the king wouldn't mind, he doubted he could actually see through those milky eyes anyway.

"Indeed. Go on then, young ones. Enjoy yourselves." Balor said, and waved a hand to dismiss them. He looked happy, Loki saw, but it made Loki sad.

Nuada gladly took the pardon and led Loki straight to his private chambers, where Loki struggled not to run his hands over everything like a hyperactive child. So much brown and beige and green—oh he loved the green. It was most odd not to feel and see ice everywhere, but the place seemed fine without it, and Loki wasn't having any troubles himself. The wood was warm beneath his feet and everything just looked soft. Anything would seem soft after all the ice.

"How about a change of clothes?" Nuada asked through his trance, heading over to his wardrobe. Loki followed after him absentmindedly and tried to stay focused.

"Okay."

Nuada turned curiously. "Not if you don't want to?"

Loki gave a delayed response. "Yes, it's fine."

Clearly the little prince was in his own little world so Nuada turned back, and dug through his clothing until he located and pulled out black trousers and a gold dusted shirt. He threw them over his arm and led Loki over to the dressing screen where he put the clothes on the table available, and ghosted his fingers over Loki's waist to pull at the hem of his skirt.

"May I?" he asked, looking up at the distant male.

Loki was contemplating mating right there on the floor. Maybe on his knees, so he could claw at the warm wood and smell its earthy scent, rub his face into it and get covered in soft warm stuff. Then he could look around the room some more and maybe if he was leaning up on his arms he could stare out the window at all the beautiful green—

"Dear heart?" Nuada touched his cheek, and Loki instinctively turned his head where he nipped at his thumb. It wasn't a painful nip, but Nuada pulled back in surprise, and Loki jumped back, equally as surprised. His whole face went hot in response as his zoned back in with a twitchy jaw, and he rubbed his hand over his mouth as his heart hammered in his chest. _What the fuck was that_

If an Aesir or Vanir had pulled that move, and definitely an Elf, that it would have been awkward, or even offending and insulting. But to a Jotun it was a show of attraction and foreplay for mating—and Nuada knew this.

And Loki _knew_ he knew.

He was blushing so hard; he didn't know where to look. The earthy features surrounding him were not helping either, it had to be the weirdest turn on he'd ever suffered.

"I'm sorry." he said, muffled behind his hand. His cock twitched at the bite, where had those sudden sexual thoughts had just poured in from?! He was so humiliated it hurt.

For once, Nuada looked just as speechless. The prince was trying his hardest not to smile and turned away with his head lowered.

"I will let you dress yourself then," he said, and headed around the screen so Loki had privacy. Loki just breathed for a long moment. As soon as he got control of himself he got dressed in the odd clothing men of the realms usually wore. It felt odd to have fabric clinging to his legs, but when he looked down at himself, he looked good. It felt like there was too much clothing, but it was the same kind of clothing Nuada wore and it looked fine on him. Only Nuada wore shoes, and he was still barefoot. He didn't have the confidence to inquire for shoes so he left it like that, maybe the Elves wouldn't mind.

When he was sure the blood had drained from his face and his eyes were steady again, he stepped out from around the screen and waited for Nuada's verdict.

The blush almost crept back with a vengeance. "You look…" the Elf started, and looked him up and down with an elated expression. "Incredible. I'm glad they fit, we're about the same size."

The thought of wearing Nuada's clothes made Loki's skin tingle and gave him the weirdest urge to sniff the material. Instead he winced and offered a silent smile, not in the mood for such compliments after the stunt he pulled. He glanced in distaste to his consort-labelling clothes on the changing table and fiddled with the sides of his trousers. "Don't you want me in skirts?"

"I think you've had enough of skirts these days. Unless you prefer them?" Nuada asked, opening his palms.

"No." Loki quickly shook his head. The pants were odd, but he wouldn't get another chance to wear them. He highly doubted Thor would give him the same option.

"Well, you'll need pants, we'll be walking and climbing. If you can." Nuada added, and glanced down at his body. Loki grit his teeth at the reminder of his night with Thor. He looked away uncomfortably and changed the subject.

"I'm fine. Is your sister still accompanying us?"

"Yes, unless you don't want her to?"

"She can come, I'm sure she misses you."

Nuada smiled dismissively and reached out for him, and they started off. Nuada seemed to be holding him more often than not lately. "It's not a problem. Because of the link it's as if I'm always with her."

Loki hesitated, but he had the courage to ask now after all he'd been though, "...And during mating?"

One look at Nuada's usually collected expression told him the man was embarrassed, a rare sight. "It's under control, I've learnt to quell it enough so that it doesn't intrude on her."

"Ah." Loki flushed, and he didn't press for more. Did Nuala know when Nuada was getting hot and bothered in the bed? Could she feel those urges and desires from him, like with his injuries? Could she tell when he was climaxing perhaps, seeing as it was the results she got? Dear gods Loki had second thoughts on facing her now.

But there was no choice, for her room was directly adjacent to Nuada's. Loki choked down the humiliation and tried to blend in with the background as Nuada knocked on her door, letting him slip back.

When the wood swung in and Nuala peeked out, her big eyes brightened and she squeaked excitedly, rushing out to hug her brother. "Nuada! I thought I was imaging your presence." she said, giggling as he swung her around once.

"I dressed Loki first." Nuada said, gesturing to Loki's clothing when he put her down. Nuala paid it little mind and grabbed Loki's arms instead with a wide smile.

"Loki, it's wonderful to see you!"

It was hard not to smile back, she was beaming and exuded an innocence that Loki hadn't even had in his youth. "And you, princess. Would you still like to accompany us?"

"I'd love to. Give me a moment to attire properly?" She asked.

Nuada gesture for her to go back into the room. "Of course, sister." With that she grinned again and hurried back in to change. When the door clicked shut Nuada hummed thoughtfully. "Nuala really likes you, she smiles at you the way she does me."

"She smiles at everyone." Loki chuckled.

"Not this way. Nuala is very intuitive, she can see easily into one's heart." Nuada said, and Loki found himself on the receiving end of a very penetrating gaze. If that was so, he was now surrounded by two Elves that were extremely perceptive (and linked), he felt as if he'd suddenly start vomiting the truth of everything.

When Nuala returned, she was also wearing pants. They were a dirty beige colour much like most of their clothing and made of soft loose linen rather than the hard smooth fabric the trousers were made of. She hurried over and attached herself to Nuada's left arm, and simultaneously the twins looked at Loki who was to the right. He blushed but obliged them, and linked his arm in Nuada's right. Nuada looked positively ecstatic, and together they left the confines of the palace.

Loki was extremely surprised when no guards insisted on following them. Nuada declined their casual offers, and led the way to what turned out to be the royal stables. Loki's keen eyes sought out one of the most beautiful animals he'd read about, and he was not disappointed.

"Are those horses?" he asked softly, excitedly.

Nuada squeezed him. "Yes."

"Are we going to ride them?"

"Yes, we are."

Loki was bouncing.

"Choose a horse, they're all well tamed, and we'll take a slow ride out."

For the first few moments Loki just stood in place and fiddled with his fingers. He looked around at the many boxes that housed the royal horses, a few pretty heads poking out now and then. He watched the twins first to see which horses was theirs (or which they wished to covet), and when it was clear they had their picks he hurried to the nearest stall, grinning further at the peasant feel of his trousers as he moved. His day was going to be good, he could feel it.

The white horse of attention was watching him, standing near its gate. Loki slowed so not to scare it, and crept closer.

"Hello."

The horse just stared at him. Loki greedily took in as much as he could, committing it all to memory—until the horse in the next stall poked its head out. It was pure black. Loki couldn't find the space to feel bad as he abandoned the first and rushed to the second, taking in the differences and taking a moment to smell it. The third horse he spoke to a bit more, testing commands but was left disappointed, and the fourth horse he initiated physical contact, it was softer than he thought possible. The fifth horse licked his face much to his disgust and the sixth almost chewed off his hair as he stood staring at the seventh horse who seemed to want nothing to do with him.

Wandering on, regardless of how much time he was using up, Loki came across the strangest horse he had ever seen or heard of. It was munching on a barrel of hay, ignoring Loki, swishing his tail happily.

"Loki?"

Loki jumped. Nuada appeared besides him. Loki quickly looked back at the strange horse. "This one has eight legs."

"That is Sleipnir. He's quite unique."

"I can see that."

Nuada chuckled to himself. "…We were once going to send him to Asgard as a gift to Odin, as a joke. But while our jokes would remain at the dinner table, it was more than likely that Sleipnir would be mistreated for the circumstances. So he remains here. He's a very strong stallion."

"I should hope so, with legs like that." Eight legs. Thrym would never believe him. Loki bit his lip. "…Is he safe to ride?"

"He's a bit of a challenge when he's excited, but he's not dangerous. If you think you can handle him…?"

"I can." Loki said a little too quickly. It had been a while since he'd ridden, but he couldn't dare pass off the chance. The last time he had ridden on the back of a beast was quite a few years ago when he still used to go exploring. He was sure the skill was still there, and he hoped so. There was a look in Nuada's eye that told Loki he was worried, and yet he said nothing. Laufey had made it clear he wanted Loki back in once piece, not trampled by a horse with eight legs.

Oh well.

"I want him." He said eagerly. Sleipnir was a dark grey colour, his tail and ears pitch black. His legs were thick and strong, his mane and tail long and silky. He was absolutely beautiful. Different, but beautiful.

"Then you shall have him," Nuada gave Loki a bow that made him blush, and called for the stable boys hiding nearby to ready his and Nuala's horses as he himself readied Loki's. The stable boys were young and naïve looking, whispering amongst themselves as they peeked at Loki every chance they got. When Loki caught one of them blushing, he felt a little less bothered. It was better than leers and much more flattering. Nuala seemed to think it funny, giggling as she watched the boys stumbled about, surrounded by such royalty. Nuada paid them no mind as he opened Sleipnir's door and clicked his tongue.

Sleipnir looked up, immediately coming over and sniffling along Nuada's face.

"How have you been, Sleipnir?" Nuada asked, petting the horse. The horse snorted and nuzzled up across his shoulder until he saw Loki, and started forward.

Loki took a careful step back, but steeled himself as the beautiful beast met him and immediately started sniffing at his face, his wet mouth leaving a trail. Loki cringed and held still, until Nuada came to his rescue and guided the horse's head away.

"He's a bit of a handful, but a good horse."

"Does he ever feel left out?" Loki asked, wiping his face.

"No, I don't believe so. Animals are kinder than we."

Loki frowned, and reached out to pet his side of Sleipnir, wiping his hand clean at the same time. He hoped it wouldn't ruin Sleipnir's pretty coat. "I like him." He said with finality. He knew what it felt like to be different. Then a thought came to mind, and he made sure Nuala was still away before asking, blushing. "Does he have a mate?"

"No," Nuada frowned, "The mares don't mind him, but his legs do make that matter difficult. He becomes rather awkward."

Loki laughed, but gave the stallion a sympathetic look.

"We're ready!" Nuala called.

Nuada gave Loki a charming smile and turned to quickly attach Sleipnir's saddle and reins. Loki stood back, ignorant to the workings of the contraption but watched intently, committing it to memory as well. Nuada was fast with his hands and done in half the time the stable boys had.

"Thrym told me you can ride, but horses are different to the cart animals on Jötunheimr, and this is Sleipnir." He smiled wirily, "So try be careful, my prince."

"Slow ride out." Loki repeated, and hurried over to the spot Nuada gestured to.

"Put your left foot there, hold this, and pull yourself up."

Loki did as instructed and hoisted himself up onto the horse, settling himself on the saddle. His feet were held nicely in a nifty clasp and the reins to hold were sturdy and well connected to the animal, it made him feel safer than he hoped. He wriggled to get the feel of it while Nuada circled them and made sure everything was strapped in properly.

"All set to go," Nuada said, patting Sleipnir's hide. Loki smiled, looking down into his lap to escape a prolonged glance. He had already embarrassed himself once today, he didn't need a repeat.

Nuada led Sleipnir out his stall and towards the other two horses where Nuala was already seated, smiling at Loki.

"He suits you," she said, leaning over to pet Sleipnir's head as they passed.

Besides them Nuada was up in his own saddle in two seconds with shocking agility. Loki almost thought he lost a minute of his day there. Nuada saw his dumbfounded expression and grinned, leaving Loki with an unspoken _thank you_ to Nuala on his tongue.

"Shall we?" Nuada suggested, directing his horse towards the open gates.

"Yes!" Nuala exclaimed, nearly bouncing in an excitement that matched Loki's.

Loki couldn't help smiling and nodded, looking off to the open stretch of land beyond the stables. The stable boys were standing by the gates, waiting to close them, leaving them to the open field and the green forest beyond. All Loki could see was green. He was in love.

Nuala was the first to head off, leaving them behind as she galloped. Nuada chuckled and shared a smile with Loki, and squeezed his feet and initiated a calm trot. Loki did the same.

It took only a small while until Loki got the hang of it, the reins were incredibly useful, as where Nuada's tips. All the while Nuala was running circles around them, her horse enjoying it as much as she did. Twice Nuada's horse tried to follow, much to Loki's amusement, and he found out they were actually a mated couple with foals. Loki made a note to ask to see them if they had time.

Finally Loki felt experienced enough on a horse to pick up speed. Sleipnir was indeed strong, Loki could feel the capacity to go so much faster, but the horse surprisingly obeyed his needs. Nuada rode on his left, allowing Loki to set the pace.

It was the most uplifting experience he had ever had. His hair shot back in the wind, his skin felt the cool breeze as they sped up and his body worked with Sleipnir's, he felt like _he_ was running. His eyes were wide open, taking in it all. He noticed the twins had their eyes squinted somewhat. It was against the wind, he realised, then acknowledged the fact warmly that his eyes were well equipped to handle cold winds thanks to Jötunheimr.

Before Loki was ready to stop they reached the line of trees into the forest. He wanted to turn back and run around the perimeter, but Nuala and Nuada had a destination in mind, disembarking before he could pluck up the courage to ask. He climbed down from his steed obediently, and gave him a pet for his good work.

"Where are we going?" he asked Nuada.

"Just a small walk to a lake nearby, it's rather beautiful out here."

While he wanted to run, he had no qualms with exploring the green. They left the horses were they were (Nuada seemed at ease doing so, perhaps there were no predators or thieves in the area to steal them), and headed into the trees where Loki couldn't contain himself. There was too much to take in, but he tried.

The twins were patient and let Loki explore everything he wanted to, even if it was trivial to them. Nuala followed after him and explained everything he wanted to know about everything he came into contact with as if she could see the exact thoughts from the wonder in his eyes at every moment. The trees were green and yellow and brown, and some were smooth while some were prickly. The ground was soft and pliable, so unlike Jötunheimr, and it was filled with little wriggling creatures that Nuada chased Nuala with. And the _smells_ , Loki had never smelt so much life before. Everything was filled with a warm rich scent, and everything was different, even the trees smelt different from each other. But too much smelling left Loki with a sneezing fit, his nose wasn't used to so many scents and flavours. Nuala quickly remedied his blight with a strange little pill for him to chew on, chirping on about something called pollen.

Then there were the animals. Little fuzzy creatures that lived in the trees, and birds with colourful wings, and big things called moose. They reminded Loki of horses but their large odd horns made him cautious, but Nuada demonstrated a careful way to approach one. Loki applauded his success with Nuala laughing and telling him a funny memory, but he still refused to go near one, he was content with petting the plants. Everything was so unlike Jötunheimr.

Then they moved on, and started to climb a rocky mountain side. Loki was no stranger to climbing and neither were the twins it seemed. The mountain side itself wasn't very high, but it was enough to be labelled an adventure. Nuada went up first, checking the path he led them on for lose rocks and anything dangerous, then climbed down and manually helped them back up. But as he did, Loki realised it was more in a show of manners and respect as Nuala's legs could lift her just fine, but Nuada held out his hand and lifted her half way, and she let him and thanked him graciously. It was just a custom, Loki realised, and it was very different to Jötunheimr. All Jotuns could climb well, even Frostfemmes, and Loki instinctually felt the need to point that out.

But Nuada probably already knew that, and he was clearly just being a gentleman. So Loki let Nuada help him up to his heart's content, he didn't want to ruin his day by being bitchy, but he could see the hidden concern in Nuada's eyes. Loki didn't know if he knew Thor was taking him twice a day, but he could imagine everyone knew that once was enough to leave an effect. But thankfully there was no pain or discomfort lingering from yesterday and he stretched his legs fine without a problem. He'd grown accustom to the mating.

Once they reached the top they turned to face the cliff's edge and showed Loki the wide sea, and the palace facing it, and they were able to just see the town just beyond the palace grounds on the other side.

It was breathtakingly beautiful.

After another short trek they stopped by a large lake where Nuada shed his shirt with a mischievous grin. He slipped a slim dagger from one of his pockets and with a goodbye wink that made Loki blush, he ran and dived straight into the water.

"Come, let's gather some wood." Nuala said, smiling fondly. Loki glanced after Nuada as they breeched the tree line again, and wondered what it felt like to swim. Jötunheimr was too continuously cold to allow shallow water to accumulate, and wherever it did, it wasn't even close to safe. His one uncle had been swallowed by a beast with three black eyes and daggers for teeth; no one wanted to follow his example.

A successful picking led to a warm fire. Loki sat back and watched curiously as the princess created fire with only the wood, sticking the longer branches into the earth to lean over the small fire to make a prier. She looked like she knew what she was doing, but he didn't bother to ask.

"So, are you enjoying your day, prince?"

"Your land is truly beautiful. I couldn't lie even if I tried." he said, folding his legs beneath him as he and Nuala sat around the fire.

"You must be quite practiced." She said vaguely, poking at the fire.

"At what?"

"Lying." She said, as if stating the condition of the weather. He sat up straight abruptly, but she shared a kind smile with him. "You're hiding a lot from everyone, it doesn't take a special talent to see that. I won't pry, but I hope you don't have to live the rest of your life lying. That would be no life at all."

No, no it wouldn't. How did other realms do it, marry off to foreign realms and live happily? Or was it just a big lie as he was experiencing? Did none of the brides have the fight Loki had to resist it? Or were they just wiser to know to accept it…? Everyone wanted him to accept it. Loki's early morning sadness threatened to return, lingering in the back of his mind.

"…No one will understand." He mumbled.

"I could." She said, and pacified his raised brow with a raised hand. "Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"I have a gift, one Nuada doesn't share. I can feel what you feel, understand what you can't explain with words."

That was something he'd never heard of. He looked back and forth between her hand and her face, and debated whether to let her in. He didn't know how it worked, but maybe it would let her understand the heavy feeling constantly residing in his chest. Suddenly he _wanted_ her to feel what he felt, for someone to feel it, to just _know_ since he couldn't go around complaining about it. This seemed to be as good a chance as any. He first glanced back to make sure Nuada wasn't on his way back, and cautiously brought up his hand to Nuala's.

Instantly she gained afar away look in her eyes and stared over his shoulder. Her hand was warm compared to his, but she didn't flinch away, and he took the chance to feel a great wave of entrapment. His heart skipped a beat when her face showed understanding. Excited by the prospect, Loki felt more feelings towards her, watching inch by inch as her face fell and contorted.

Anger, rage, disappointment, abandonment, worthlessness, dread, helplessness—he gave it all. But he wasn't in a foul mood, and despite wanting to drown her in his depression he couldn't help showing her his excitement of finally coming to Álfheimr, to another realm. Her face lifted as if the other emotions hadn't just passed by, and they locked gazes and shared a giggle at Loki's attraction to everything green. He thought about the green, the beautiful Elven people, and the wide freedom of this exploration. Then he jumped back and tried to think of something good of Jötunheimr, but all that made him smile there now was the smart little pot-

Loki ripped away his hand like it burnt, swearing in a Jotun slang. "Oh!" Nuala jumped and pressed her hands to her lips, "A-are you oaky?"

He leaned back from her and breathed harshly, and searched her face for any sign that he'd given his secret away. She looked worriedly at him, but there was no accusation in her eyes.

"Sorry. I-I…I got overwhelmed." He choked, hiding his hand in his chest. Her face softened.

"I'm sorry." She said, bringing her hands down. Her face was now troubled again, and she looked as though she wanted to tell him it was alright, but knew saying so would be a lie. "You are so caged… You are not alone Loki." She said, but Loki could hear the helplessness.

He looked away. She couldn't help even if she understood. "I said you wouldn't understand. I'm fine. I'm coping."

"But you genuinely did want to come here today." There was a smile in her voice.

"...I was excited."

"And Nuada has been confusing you? Or is it frustration?" she frowned and tilted her head as she felt through the emotions she got from him.

Loki sighed through his nose and glanced at the water, watching it ripple. "Both. More frustration, I suppose. It's hard to be angry at him."

"He is a man full of honour, he is going to try make you as happy as possible." Nuala said, following his gaze with a fond expression. It made him feel like he didn't know Nuada in the slightest, as if he should be sharing her view by now. "You don't have to feel guilty about enjoying his company. You're only giving yourself more stress by telling yourself you shouldn't accept him."

And there was that acceptance speech again. _But acceptance brought an end_. If he gave in, he might never be able to get up from it again, he'd be trapped forever, not for a few weeks. "…If I give in I'll just be—"

"Not give in. _Accept_. Coming to terms brings peace, Prince Loki."

There were a few arguments waiting on his tongue to lash out at her, but Nuada splashed out of the water and staggered towards them with three fish mounted onto his blade. Nuala smiled at him so not to give away Loki's distress and squinted a teasing eye at him.

"You took longer than usual."

Loki on the other hand, was trying not to stare so openly at Nuada, who was pushing his wet hair back from his sharp face as water dribbled down his chiselled chest.

"The fish were strangely elusive, but I caught enough." He said happily, and crouched down on the pads of his feet as he started to gut the fish. He looked between his sister and Loki, catching a content smile from Nuala who widened her eyes for emphasis as Loki struggled to find his smile again

"Loki, have you eaten fish before?" he asked.

Loki inspected the fish visually, having read about them but never seen. "No, we don't have much liquid water, and the creatures that live in it aren't very appetizing."

"They are good, you'll enjoy it." Nuada promised, and spiked the fish on the longer branches of wood Nuala had set aside.

"Loki, how is the temperature treating you?" Nuala asked.

Loki rubbed his arms and looked around. "It's fine, actually. I expected it to be warmer."

"You may have a room covered in ice if you wish," Nuada said, settling down with his legs folded too. "If you come here. In case you need it. Prolonged exposure to warmth might make you ill."

Was Nuada for real? Loki couldn't tell anymore. He looked down with a half hearted smile. "Thank you."

Nuada smiled despite his obvious drop in mood and sooner than Loki expected he passed around the fish, which was at first disgusting to smell, but after a giggling fit from Nuala, he tasted it, and was surprised by the flavour.

"This is good. The flavour is odd, but rich." Loki said around mouthfuls.

"It's healthy for all, especially the young." Nuada said, eating his the same way Nuada did, in what seemed to be an Elven fashion, breaking off small pieces with their slim fingers and eating a piece at a time. Loki just pulled off chunks and stuffed them in his mouth. Maybe it would put Nuada off and he'd stop trying to be so nice and wasting his stupid efforts because he was _not_ going to give in…

"I like it." he said anyway. They ate in silence, the twins making casual comments on the state of the land, which brought Loki back to a thought.

"Your father, is he well?" he asked. He remembered hearing that the land's welfare was influenced by the king's health, but everything looked fine to him. He expected the land to be dying if Balor was, but nothing looked suspicious. Green meant life didn't it? Everything was green here, and Balor was still moving his limbs.

"Yes, thank you for asking Loki." Nuada looked pleasantly surprised. "Our father is well, he just had a small downfall. He has recovered."

"…And your mother? Did she pass?" In all the time since this nonsense started there was not one mention on a mother to Nuada. Not a peep or a hint, and in his grievance Loki hadn't bothered to even think about that.

The twins looked at each other, and Nuada gave a sigh towards his lap. "Our mother passed after birthing us. She went to sleep and never woke up. There was nothing fatally wrong with her, she got to hold us and bless us. But she slipped away under everyone's nose. No one knows why."

Loki looked down. "I'm sorry."

"I've no doubt she watches over us." Nuada said, looking off in thought. Loki nodded, and hoped to the side that it wasn't at night.

"Your mother passed too?" Nuala asked.

"Yes. The…the rebels. They captured him. Father couldn't make it in time." He said woodenly, allowing the memory of his father's grief to bite at his chest. It had been a traumatic day for them all, Laufey had never quite recovered. Then again neither had he.

Nuada must have known the story already and just looked saddened, but Nuala gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. "I am so sorry."

"It was a quick death." Loki insisted, thoroughly glad his dam had not been tortured before death. "He gave them too much fight to be kept as a hostage. They already hated my father so getting rid of the queen was nothing to them."

"I've heard there have been attempts made on you too." She said, looking scandalized.

Loki chuckled. "Yes, but I'm still here."

"By the grace of the Norns." Nuala said, looking at him in deep relief.

"Are there no rebels on Álfheimr?"

"There are those that seek a life of criminal activity, but there aren't those that ban together to overthrow the king. We have different ways to that of Jötunheimr and Asgard, dear heart," Nuada smiled, "Peaceful by nature, and only seek out destruction when we are threatened, not for gain."

"That sounds like Jötunheimr and Asgard." Loki agreed, regretfully. But at least Asgard was in the wrong too. Perfect Asgard wasn't so damn perfect.

"We all do what is in our nature." Nuada said, and shrugged it off.

Loki frowned at him. "You do not mind our nature then? To court a union?" If he had heard correctly Nuada wanted this as much as his father did, but it was still a strange concept for Loki to grasp. No one liked Jötunheimr.

"Jotun nature is not defined solely by aggressiveness, Loki, it is a reaction developed from centuries of oppression by neighbouring realms. It has become a second nature and it is unfortunate but there is no reason a merger cannot work between us if done properly. For every narrow minded Jotun there is, there is one who is willing to welcome us."

"And what of the Elves?" Loki asked, looking at Nuada nervously, "Surely not all care for this union?" Could the Elves truly welcome him? All of them? How deep did this attempt go? How selfless was their nature? It was almost frightening, he could never return it, his _people_ could never return it...

"It is not the people's choice whom I marry. But they know to be able to trust our judgement to handle our choices. My father waited a long time before deciding whom to approach for this."

"Why didn't he just find you a woman from here? …Or a man?" Loki could hear the accusation in his voice but he couldn't suppress it. He knew he face gave him away too, but it was unfair that he had to be forced into this because Balor woke up and decided he should. Still he cringed, feeling somewhat regretful for saying it out loud, and all Nuada did was smile softly, but it was clearly strained.

"Who else would bother to form a merger with Jötunheimr and be able to appreciate its beauty more than the Elves?" Nuada said, and with a twinge Loki realised he was right. Asgard would never truly appreciate Jötunheimr, and nor would Vanaheimr. Muspelheimr's very nature was opposite to Jötunheimr and Midgard was not included in the business of the realms. The remaining realms rarely married outside their lands, but Álfheimr, with their peaceful influences and high tolerance, perhaps they were befitting after all.

"…No one." He said eventually, and gave Nuada a smile.

Nuada beamed.

Once the fish was eaten and Loki had had his fill of the surrounding area, Nuala suggested visiting the town square. Loki was as nervous as he was eager, but eventually agreed to go. They returned to the horses, who were surprisingly still there, and road through a sparse area of the woods that lead back to civilisation. Loki guided himself between the twins' horses as they entered the town from the dirt road.

Instantly they drew attention. Seeing the royal siblings accompanied by their prospective queen from Jötunheimr who was riding on an eight legged horse was no doubt something to stare at. But Nuada seemed at ease, as was Nuala, and slowly Loki's fear eased as the Elves met them with smiles and bows and simple greetings. The children were less conservative, pointing and whispering until their parents smacked their hands and reminded them to be polite, telling them who he was so their little faces lit up in awe. There were guards here and there, giving them bows as they passed.

The people were still an oddity to behold, no matter how many times he looked at them. He'd gotten somewhat used to Nuada's features, but there were other Elves that did look different. Both the men and women were beautiful, Loki suddenly felt ordinary in their presence. On Jötunheimr his beauty was made into a palaver, as was his petite size. But here the only thing casting him out was his blue skin. He had the right size, right hair and right face.

But none of it mattered, he wouldn't be coming back, and they probably didn't really want him. Nuada wanted him, Balor wanted him, but that didn't mean Álfheimr wanted him. He was no Elf.

They came to a stop where they dismounted and Nuada tied the horses to a stand. Nuala wandered besides Loki and gave him a warm nudge with her elbow as if to remind him he wasn't alone. Nuada stole him back as soon as he was done, taking a gentle hold on Loki's hand.

"Shall we? It's always fun to visit a foreign market."

Loki followed excitedly. Nuala wandered off towards a group of Elven females she obviously knew, leaving Loki to Nuada's company. The market wasn't huge, as it turned out, but Nuada assured him this was just the upmarket area where the more rare and desirable goods were traded, there were bigger markets elsewhere. Loki was about to pout and mope as he cared little for gold trinkets and fancy weapons and all the things considered rare, when he realised that _rare_ and _desirable_ meant very different things here than on Jötunheimr or Asgard.

The market held everything Loki could ever want, from all corners of the Nine Realms. One stall had a collection of odd plants. Quite a few were poisonous or dangerous but they were stunning, meant to be kept to look at. The strange colours and shapes of them made Loki squint, he had to keep his idle hand against his stomach to reframe from touching.

A small stall had a collection of herbs and ingredients for many potions Loki had learnt, but on Jötunheimr they would wither away and so no one bothered to import them unless to be used right away. The stall attendant gave his excited greetings and kissed Loki's hand. Loki's reaction, though private, was odd. Only Nuada had ever done that to him, but now another had. He felt almost violated, but the Elf kept his hands and eyes to himself afterwards.

A stall on the far side with a bunch of giggling females sold linens and furs of many colours, Loki fell in love with the greens and crimsons, and a beautiful colour called silver. The females babbled on about which colours would suit him best, pulling up whites and reds and already arguing over wedding colours. Loki left them to their debating, he could imagine he wouldn't have much of a say anyway.

There was a stall for books, with all the stories and adventures Loki could ever want. Nuada stated he had all the time in the world if he wanted to browse. And browse he did. He found three books he couldn't quite let go of, but in the end he did. Nuada tried to press him to take them, but he politely declined. He didn't want to owe the man anything.

Another stall had ready made potions and the one next to it boasted a range of beauty products. The females gathered were ready to move aside for Loki to take a look, but he quickly declined on the reason that the products would probably not suit his skin. Nuada agreed with him, and whispered in his ear that he was already perfect, accenting it with an intimate squeeze. Loki forced down a filthy shiver with a self scold and wave of shame.

There was a stall selling fresh foods from the ground. Loki didn't recognise most of them and they didn't look very appetizing despite being fun colours. He kept his opinions to himself though, and accepted a sugary cake from Nuada from a small stall next to it.

One of the last stalls held jewels. Loki was enamoured far more than he wished to be. But it was not the gold that drew him in, it was all the pendants with precious stones in them. He had a sudden desire to own a throne, just to shower it with every kind of gem he could get his hands on. They were so beautiful! He committed it all to memory as well. He took as long at this stall as he had by the books, reading all the names to the stones and occasionally dipping his fingers in the trays and swishing them around. He was particularly taken by the red Rubies, orange Sphalerites, blue Zircons, and Emeralds. They were gleaming, enchanting him into a scary place, one intensified when Nuada held out a heavily jewelled necklace. It was made of white gold and encrusted with emeralds that tried to lure Loki in.

"I think this would suit you," Nuada mused, holding it up to Loki's neck.

Loki shrugged away awkwardly. "Yes, it's beautiful."

"Waernas," Nuada called the shop keeper, turning to him with the necklace held out.

Loki turned back and grabbed his arm with a growl. "No."

Nuada and Waernas blinked. "No?" Nuada repeated.

"No, I don't want it." Loki pulled his hand back into himself, glancing reluctantly at the shimmering beauty.

Nuada frowned the object. "We can choose another, I didn't mean to say you _must_ have because I chose it—"

"I just don't want it, Nuada." Loki said between grit teeth. He glanced at the shop attended who hadn't the decency to turn away, then turned himself and left.

"…Shall I send it to the castle for you, my prince?" Waernas asked softly. Nuada sighed through his nose and handed over the necklace, managing a smile.

"Yes, please." It would make a beautiful compliment on Loki's chest, perhaps he could keep it as a wedding gift. But he'd need something more impressive to flatter Loki, something as unique as he was.

Once paid for Nuada hurried after Loki. It wasn't difficult to find him standing besides a tree, leaning on it as he watched out over the land to the sea beyond.

"…I apologise for offending you." Nuada said after a moment of peaceful silence

"I don't want you to waste money on me."

"It's not wasting. I wanted to get you a gift. I don't expect payment."

"You'll expect _something_ ," Loki shot back, but he hadn't the strength to shout and bitch. He felt more sad than angry now. Nuada kept doing nice things for him but he couldn't return it. He couldn't, or that would be the end of his will to resist.

"Then can I at least buy you those books—"

" _No_." Loki hissed, folding his arms moodily. "I don't want your stuff."

Nuada gave in with a sigh.

With the mood broken it seemed it was time to get back. Nuala noticed the change in atmosphere without much surprise, Loki could almost see her exploring Nuada's feelings through their link. He steeled himself against her wrath, but hoped she would understand his side of it. In the end it was the weather that forced them to head back. The clouds had rolled over and it started to rain, leaving Loki with little ice droplets forming on his skin. It was a funny sensation and successfully brightened his mood. The rain brought a welcomed flush of coolness to his body after all the activity.

He would've stayed in the rain, it rarely rained on Jötunheimr, but Nuala's clothes were thin and Elves were modest, so they rushed back to the castle. They made it to the palace just as the rain poured down, and were met with servants holding trays of food and drink and taking their horses. Loki said a sad goodbye to Sleipnir, for he would never see him again. Or the green, or the flowers, or the people.

For a short quiet while they sat together on a balcony and ate as they watched the rain fall over the land, feeding all the glorious green.

It was one of the most beautiful things Loki had ever seen.

Nuala bid her goodbyes to Loki then, who suspected she didn't want to steal anymore of her brother's time with him, and hoped to see him soon. Loki gave her a tight smile and faked enthusiasm when she hugged him, as she would most likely be emotion-snooping. She announced she was going to spend the afternoon with their father, and left after a few more hugs.

Once she was gone and Loki had finished his snacks Nuada escorted him back to his rooms to change from their damp clothes, a calm silence settled between them. Their hair was wet too and Loki had to paw at it as the water hardened, leaving crushed icy prickles over the floor. Nuada didn't seem to mind though, and pealed off his clothes with a content expression, rubbing his hair between a cloth. Loki turned away as he did so as well, and took off his own with a fond feeling for them. Maybe one day he could dress like this again. Chances are…he doubted it.

He turned to ask for more clothes when suddenly he was turned by the waist. He dropped the clothing and took in a sharp breath at the proximity of Nuada's face. Nuada was looked into his eyes with a burning gaze, making his insides and resolve melt. Nuada leaned into him so their noses were a couple inches apart. They breathed against each other long enough for Loki to wonder why he just didn't pull away.

"…Would I be pushing my luck for a mate here?" Nuada breathed, his voice nothing but a whisper. Loki made a small noise in the back of his throat and licked his lips, recalling his earlier thoughts about the floor. His eyes strayed and he glanced down at the strong contours of Nuada's chest as they dipped into his firm stomach, leading into an attractive point that presented his manhood. It made his toes curl, and he felt the wood beneath his bare feet. It was warm, and soft compared to the ice.

Nuada leaned over and licked off a small crystal that cooled on the side of his cheek bone. The contact, warm and wet, made Loki shudder, and again out of instinct he turned his face in a primal effort to reciprocate somehow, and this time Nuada caught him in a kiss. He moaned in surprise but there was no stopping it. His fingers found their way around Nuada's neck and he dug them in and leaned back, pulling Nuada over him. Firm hands dug into his waist and bumped them together abruptly where the contact provoked their erections in seconds. Nuada responded almost aggressively and kissed him harder, his hands sliding to cup around his cheeks and squeeze them hard. They parted at the mercy of his long fingers, their cocks colliding in a disgustingly appealing manner.

Loki squealed and broke the kiss with a wet pop, and panted lightly against his lips.

"Mate with me?" Nuada breathed, and Loki groaned loudly. Damn him, damn the stupid knowledgeable Elf. Why did he have to call it mating, why not fucking? Was there no form of manipulation he was not familiar with? Nuada kissed the side of his mouth and nipped his lip, making his cock stiffen painfully against their legs, "Please?"

"Hnng," Loki grunted, and pressed his groin forward shamelessly. He licked his lips continuously and looked up from under his eye lashes, where unbridled lust burned in those mysterious auburn eyes.

"Please?" Nuada begged, and Loki whined angrily.

"Stop asking and just do something." He hissed, panting against the other's lips.

Nuada almost toppled them in his eagerness. He lifted Loki to straddle his waist and started off for the bed, but Loki wanted the floor. It was a completely weird desire but he wanted to feel the wood beneath him. He kicked his legs and wiggled off. To save his dignity, when he dropped to the floor he pulled Nuada down with him so he didn't have to look up and grovel like a lonely whore.

Without needing to be asked Nuada leaned over and started scratching down his flanks as he lapped over Loki's breast. He aimed straight for where it mattered most and circled his tongue around Loki's nipples, sucking when Loki bucked his hips.

The feelings were exquisite. Hot desire pooled in Loki's gut and he wanted nothing more than to lift his legs higher and wider than he ever had and take a good hard fuck. It was overwhelming, the need running through his veins. It was intoxicating. Nuada knew just how to handle him, and he didn't remember what it was like to try to resist.

Was _this_ acceptance? Was this what Nuala meant, what everyone meant— _wanted_? He would find peace if he just accepted it? Had he accepted this? Would it be SO bad if he accepted this? His earlier thoughts of mating were not provoked by Nuada at all (or so he guessed), and lately he resisted very little if at all. Mating with Nuada no longer made his heart sore, but was that good or bad?

Suddenly he was turned over by strong hands on his hips. His breath hitched as his chest met the wood and he looked over his shoulder as Nuada lifted his hips. Then without a warning he ducked down and bit Loki's left cheek. Loki squeaked breathlessly and dug his fingers into the lovely smelling wood. Nuada was holding apart his cheeks obscenely and turned to bite the other in a painful nip. And it _was_ painful, Loki was surprised he'd do that, but at the same time it made his cock slap up stiff against his belly, and he sunk his body to the floor to push out his rump.

Nuada leaned back to assess the two bite marks forming and smirked, and gave Loki's cheeks a shake. Loki moaned helplessly and found that too much clawing was actually ripping up pieces of the wood, but if Nuada was so perfect at everything he could just bloody well fix it later.

Admiring Loki for a few moments, Nuada leaned back over and licked a long strip up the back of Loki's left thigh to his bite mark, then he did the same to the other leg while digging his nails into the mounds of flesh. Loki was panting and just barely able to keep still, but he shouldn't be keeping still—Jotuns were active lovers.

With a result in mind, Nuada spread Loki as far as he could and pressed his tongue into his hole.

Loki's eyes flew open and he gasped sharply and tried at first to jerk away, but as Nuada held him down and slid in that warm rough tongue, his body demanded more. He whined angrily, for too many reasons now, but pushed back brazenly so Nuada didn't stop. Shards and splinters were clumping around Loki as he tore at the wood in his frenzy, and he yowled as he was suddenly entered. It wasn't Nuada's cock, he could feel the difference, but clenched down greedily anyway to show his need and demand satisfaction.

Loki absolutely wet. It was incredibly easy to arouse him. It made Nuada wonder just how badly Thor treated him to fail at making him peak. It was both funny and alarming. Loki was simple to please, it was just his nature, and for Thor to fail was extremely questionable.

He moved around the taste of Loki on his tongue as he spread in two fingers in the slick heat, producing obscene squelches as he did so. His own cock throbbed in anticipation, and Loki pressed positively back against him in need. But he wanted Loki to show some assertiveness.

So he pulled back his attentions and watched as Loki cried out angrily, and flopped over onto his right side. Loki looked over his left shoulder with small grumpy eyes, ironically full of lust. Smirking deviously, Nuada lifted Loki's left leg and slung it over his shoulder. He pressed his stiffness between Loki's blue legs, and bit his calf as he did so. Loki gasped and bucked into the contact, but he gave no more and held Loki's hips still until the male was grunting and struggling.

There was a wet sheen coating Loki's cheeks and the back of his balls, enticing Nuada worse than ever before. But he grit his teeth behind his lips and ground against Loki's cock until Loki lashed out and grabbed his cock to stop him.

"Stop it." Loki snarled. Nuada bucked into his hand with a needy moan. Loki groaned in the back of his throat, his eyes clouded with desire, and finally Nuada released his leg. Loki released him in return and turned on his back, but Nuada had other plans and pulled him up to his knees as he lowered himself to sit on the floor. He forced Loki clumsily into his lap.

"Ride me."

"No." Loki breathed, and ground his cock into Nuada's stomach.

"Please." _Nip_

"No." _Thrust_

"Please, Loki." _Lick_

"I said NO." Loki barked, and slapped Nuada across the face. He panted harshly and watched Nuada turn back to him with a dazed expression. He snarled before he could bother to worry about his action and made it up with a forceful kiss. Nuada opened up for him and Loki started to rut harder until his breath hitched and the peak neared.

But Nuada pushed him back, severing the delicious contact. "No. Loki. You must peak with me."

"I don't care," Loki ground out and tried to press back. He was so sick of trying to hold back his pleasure while the princes took their own.

"Let's do this properly so it's not for naught," Nuada stressed. Loki just barely kept from blurting the truth about the potion. He bared his teeth and shot Nuada a dirty look, but reached down anyway and pressed Nuada's cock to his entrance. Nuada hummed in surprise and approval and held him tightly as he sunk down.

He was so wet there was no halt until he was sitting on Nuada's thighs, his own spread obscenely where just the thought of it all made his eyes roll back. "Happy?" he breathed against Nuada's lips.

"You are so beautiful." Nuada stated, for what felt like the millionth time. He started rocking his hips up and guiding Loki down, and it wasn't long before Loki peaked. He bounced desperately for as many thrusts as he could get in as he came over their stomachs, writhing as Nuada held him down as he came too, filling his insides with warm seed. Loki bucked helplessly as his body shook with pleasure and sought out whatever last bits he could, and leaned on Nuada's chest, his eyes closing tiredly...

One small nap later Loki awoke to the mouth-watering scent of foreign food. He had no idea what it was, other than it was meat, and sat up sleepily with Nuada sitting besides him.

"Food, dear heart." Nuada said, brushing the hair from Loki's eyes. Loki mumbled incoherently and fought with the blankets to get his arms free so he could sit up. Nuada placed a tray over his legs when he was settled. Loki noticed he was in Nuada's bed, surrounded by fluffy warm things. On the plate there was a small assortment of Elven food and a mug of something golden. The food steamed and he leaned over to smell it as he rubbed the sleep away.

Nuada rubbed his knee through the blankets, looking clean and dressed. "Eat, we'll return to Jötunheimr when you're done."

"Thank you," Loki dug in without a pause. He was famished from all the activity of the day even with the snacks and chewed angrily on the white meat covered in herbs. "What is this?" he asked for the sake of it, trying to will his mind awake.

"Quail. It's a bird, it's tantalising when cooked right."

Loki hummed in agreement, then shoved a piece of garlic bread in his mouth, and downed it with the golden drink.

He could see Nuada watching him but the will to care at the moment was non existent, and he curiously tried some of the green foods on his plate that smelling nothing like the vegetables on Jötunheimr. It was all fantastic.

The prince got up and left him to his food, settling at a desk where he pulled out a fresh scroll and started writing. Loki enjoyed the silence and ate in peace, taking in the fine details around the room. He glanced over the bed to the floor, meeting the clawed wood with a light glare. The silence went on, save for his munching and the scratching of a quill.

In the end Loki couldn't help himself. "What are you writing?"

"A small request to a friend. They have something I need."

Loki's brows twisted as his mind went dirty places. He laughed and cast it from his mind, setting aside the now empty plate, his stomach giving a gurgle. Nuada smiled softly at him, and gestured to the nearby table as he continued writing.

"Your clothes are there when you're ready."

Loki's very first thought was " _Why can't you bring it here_?"

There were a dozen reasons why, he scolded himself, and forced himself out of the bed. He had a short gown on that he could never imagine Nuala in, and found he was clean of any trace of their mating. Even his feet were cleaned from their outside exploration.

Loki reluctantly pulled on the clothes he arrived in, and sighed at the thought of going home. The day went by too fast, he shouldn't have fallen asleep after the mating, he could he asked to see more of the palace or something. Who knows when he'd be allowed to leave Jötunheimr again? But perhaps it was for the best…

The remainder of their time on Álfheimr was rather dismal and down. On the way out, they stopped by Balor who blessed Loki and wished to see him soon, for good next time. Loki forced a smile and gave a false agreement through grit teeth. The Elven folk seemed to all know he was here by now and they gathered to wave their goodbyes with excited smiles, making him feel guiltier for his actions against them, and Nuada. Nuada looked proud despite their little tiff from earlier and held him close as they left back to the transportation seal. Loki tried not to look like he was cringing as hard as he was.

Jötunheimr welcomed them back in a sharp gust of cold wind. Blue and grey, everything was blue and grey. Loki suddenly felt trapped.

Their welcome back was in the form of many guards that escorted them back to the castle. A few of them commented that they were glad he had returned safely. Some didn't to care at all. Loki couldn't care about any of it.

They had made it in time for dinner, but seeing as they had already eaten they both settled for a goblet of ale.

Laufey of course made sure to ask about his day. Nuada left most of the story telling to him, seeming content with his view on it. He told the truth too, there was little reason to lie as everything _had_ been beautiful. The only things he left out were the moments and topics of conversation and the mating.

Thrym asked about Nuala. Laufey asked about Balor. Thor asked if he could speak to his father about planning his own trip. Loki ignored him in favour of describing Sleipnir.

When it came time for bed, Loki panicked inside as Nuada followed him away. They had already mated, would they do so again? Great. He had spent days silently hoping it wouldn't come to that, but it had anyway. He was now being taken twice a day by both of them.

Rather than anger, Loki felt sadness. He had cried out his anger that morning. But he didn't turn around and say no. He didn't turn around and chase him off. He didn't turn around and demand to be left alone. He didn't know why he wanted to turn around and cry instead of fight.

In the room he undressed stiffly, staring at the wall blankly as he did so. He jumped when Nuada came up behind him and hugged him around the waist. The male leaned over and kissed his ear, moulding their bodies together. Loki was naked, he could feel Nuada still wearing trousers, his smooth chest bare.

"Wear this," Nuada suggested, lifting the silk in his hand. Loki took it silently, sparing it a frown. Nuada left him and he slowly put it on, taking a peaceful moment to admire the texture of the fabric.

Better get it over and done with, he advised himself for the millionth time. He turned back and headed for the bed. Nuada caught his arm. "Wait."

"What?" Loki shot irritably.

Nuada reached in and tied the clasp of his gown for him. "So it doesn't pull off."

Loki frowned tiredly at the new fetish for mating. Nuada still had his trousers on and he looked like he was going to jump into bed with them. Mating with clothes on? Loki had pondered on that before, but he didn't feel less vulnerable like he thought he would. He just felt more used, like a toy to dress up and handle into the desired position for further satisfaction.

Sighing to himself, Loki crawled up onto the bed, the gown just long enough to cover his rear, and claimed his preferred side of the bed. He'd need to sleep peacefully at least. He lay down on his back out of habit, but tensed anyway when Nuada got between his legs. He sighed again, and this time Nuada looked at him for an explanation. He shook his head wearily. "Just don't take long. I'm tired."

In fact, he had half a mind to turn over and let Nuada pull a Thor on him. He was in no mood to be nibbled and brought to panting ecstasy, despite his lovely day. What was wrong with him? He wished he were back riding Sleipnir, free on the fields to roam as he pleased, diving into a crevice full of jewels and starlight.

Nuada hummed in a manner that said he agreed and captured his lips in a chaste kiss. Again out of habit Loki reciprocated, but only just. Nuada leaned over him, his hair around his neck and hanging over his left shoulder. The kiss was slow and intimate, coercing Loki's participation further and further without his permission. It was sensual and was successful in making his skin tingle as their tongues met. But not tonight…

Not this night.

With determination Loki broke the kiss. "Move," he muttered, pushing against Nuada. Curiously Nuada moved for him and Loki turned over onto his knees, trusting Nuada would take the hint and get it over with.

But some part of Loki wasn't surprised when Nuada started nibbling down his back. And that part snapped.

"Fuck! Could you just stop the niceties and finish?!" He cried, twisting back and throwing an uncoordinated smack. Nuada defended himself half heartedly and frowned, leaning heavily over Loki. He then sighed loudly.

"If you stopped assuming I'm going to mount you like a broodmare maybe you'll get a massage."

Loki blinked.

Nuada raised a sassy brow. "Now can I continue? I won't touch you, Loki. We already took care of that."

…Well how was he supposed to know? Loki's cheeks flushed and he lowered himself back down. Nuada immediately starting tracing out the contours of his back, finding the stress knots with ease. _He should know, he played a part in putting them there,_ Loki thought.

But as the administrations grew more pleasant Loki felt this heart harden. He jumped on board a stubborn whim, and squirmed onto his side. "Stop."

Nuada leaned away with a sigh that was clearly impatient. It made Loki hesitate. "Loki?"

"It's okay…I don't need it."

The silent ' _I don't want it_ ' hung heavily in the air, enough for Nuada to hear it.

"Very well."

Loki's eyes widened as Nuada climbed off. He sat up, confused, having fully expected to throw a punch, at the very least an argument. The Elf just sidled in besides him and pulled over the furs. Loki lay down with him slowly, watching him for tricks.

"Can I at least hold you?" Nuada asked softly.

Loki nodded after a very long moment.

With his gown and Nuada's trousers as a barrier Loki relaxed down against him, facing away from him so Nuada lay behind him, moulding against the curve of his body. They wriggled until Loki's head was under Nuada's chin, an arm curled around his waist and his knees into the bend of Loki's legs. Nuada was warm against him, solid and constant. It took a while for Loki to relax entirely, but it came easier when he thought back to the day he had. The day _Nuada_ gave him.

Loki sighed again, and pressed back into Nuada's embrace to placate him seeing as he knew a sighing Loki meant problems. Nuada seemed to _know_ him somewhat already.

"…Thank you for today." He mumbled softly.

Nuada caressed a hand over his belly. "I am glad you enjoyed yourself, love."

A sensation of safety fell over Loki and he continued to relax until his eyes grew heavy and he actively fought off sleep in favour to think. Nuada initiated a slow inconspicuous circle with his hand, a firm but gentle movement in a predictable and safe manner. The contact never drifted or slowed or stressed him, blending in until it lulled Loki to sleep, where in his dreams he struggled to remind himself why he should be angry at Nuada…

Because what if he forgets altogether…?

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello? Emergency? Yes hello I'd like to report that I pulled this version of Álfheimr out my ass and I'd like to turn myself in.


	19. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor's last day. Laufey's last nerve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS. Hello yes hi. LOOK HERE. This chapter contains non con/rape. I mean it.**
> 
> **So trigger warning for sensitive people.**
> 
> _I apologise for spelling errors._

**Chapter 19: Desperation**

Loki awoke the next morning to the pleasant feeling of kisses around his jaw, trailing around his neck and below his ear to a very sensitive spot he hadn't know existed. There was a warm pressure on top of him, it was Nuada, he could tell. His legs were already spread, clinging lazily to his sides as he was kissed to consciousness. His skin tingled pleasantly as Nuada nibbled on the spot below his ear, bearing his weight down on him so Loki could just _feel_ it.

Loki brought his hands up and held onto the other's biceps, sighing as he enjoyed the attention, sighing as he knew he was going to stop it. He was sure by now he had a clear policy of 'Don't do nice things for me because I won't do nice things for you', but Nuada never seemed to get it. Lithe hips rolled into his, the blatant contact making him grunt, his gown creeping up and leaving him bare. His cock met Nuada's in an equally pleasant glide, leaving him in a lustful state. His knees rose with each moment, clinging tighter and closer until he was rock hard, rolling his hips up as Nuada mouthed at his neck.

 _This should stop_ , he thought. But why bother? He was lethargic and comfortable and a little on the horny side.

But it should stop, he may not be able to stop the mating but he could still show his reluctance, and this was not showing reluctance. It was unfair, he had to suffer through forced pleasure and then deny himself the release. Although that wasn't entirely true, not with Nuada.

Loki sighed, and cracked open his eyes to give Nuada a hard look that would make him feel bad for coercing him in his sleep.

But it was not Nuada on top of him.

Loki jerked in shock as he stared at himself, his clone smirking back down at him. He frowned heavily and glanced around, his hips slowing. Nuada was gone, and his cleaning tools were here. He had never called a clone in his sleep before, this was new.

"You look surprised." The clone commented in a snarky tone, thrusting his hips harder to regain Loki's attention. It made him hiss and his cock throb harder, and despite the confusing wake up he gave his participation back gingerly.

"Why?" Loki croaked, realising he enjoyed the rutting. He moved a little more passionately, successfully throwing himself in the line of a climax.

His double showed an expression of pleasure, one he probably did whenever he was in pleasure. It was attractive, he could admit, and admired his own face lewdly as they panted together.

"Let's start your day off good, yes?" the clone grunted, thrusting down against him harder. _Yes_ , Loki thought, before Thor bent him over some surface and took his own pleasure. Maybe it wouldn't feel so hard to resist climax later it he came now.

"Thank you," he replied, to himself, his clone.

"Wouldn't you do anything for yourself?" the clone asked, and leaned forward with parted lips. Loki opened his mouth automatically, tasting nothing but concealed magic as the illusion fooled him quite enough to excite himself. The solid magic incarnate could tell exactly what he wanted when he wanted it, biting at his lips and clawing him hips as they rut on and on until Loki peaked, whining out his pleasure as he shook and spilt between them.

The clone slowed then until it stopped, stuttering out of existence as Loki collapsed back, tired as the moment he woke up. He moaned lightly as a pleasant afterglow lingered, a faint throbbing of his entrance trying to betray him. He glanced at the door as he repositioned the furs, wondering if he could get in another peak, this time with penetration. Being it a clone he could have it mate him just right, just as he needed it, the pleasure would be unimaginable…

And hence he had stooped low enough to fuck himself.

Loki sighed, and cast the idea away. He couldn't think such things, he was not a whore. He didn't need to do such base things, it was all the princes' faults. They're the ones that should be fucking themselves. Or better yet the clones, Thor definitely wouldn't know the diff—

…The clones.

Loki stared at the ceiling in self disappointment for a very long time before dragging himself out of bed. He was such an idiot.

He went straight for the cleaning tools, wiping off his morning release. He was infinitely pleased there was nothing leaking _out_ of his body for once, and hurried to finish the job. He had probably wasted enough time already.

And he was right. He was miserably right.

He had just finished pulling on his skirt when someone knocked. He guessed it was Thrym, he _hoped_ , and called for them to enter.

It was Thor.

"Loki, good morn." Thor smiled, his blue eyes bright like the gems on Álfheimr. Loki straightened awkwardly. This was his room, his (barely) space of privacy, it was beginning to feel like a trading port. Just now Thor would want to move in.

It was then Loki realised it was Thor's last day to try impregnate him, it was no wonder he was here so early. _It was the last day._ It made Loki wonder why Nuada just hadn't fucked him last night, it seemed kind of important now.

Especially as he hadn't yet taken his potion. Fuck fuck fuck fuck

"Sleep well?" Thor asked, glancing at the ruffled bedding. Now Loki really wished Nuada had fucked him, he could at least smell his scent if Thor took him over the bed. Maybe it would even disgust Thor if he found evidence of their coupling. Maybe he shouldn't have cleaned up from his round with the clone.

"I did."

"Good. And did you enjoy Álfheimr?"

Thor looked neutral enough, but Loki heard the opposition in his voice. The Asgardians were such a proud competitive bunch, always trying to be the best, no matter the cost.

"Yes, it was beautiful." Loki said, clasping his hand benevolently. He stared at Thor with an equally neutral expression, hinting with his body language for Thor to just get the fuck out. He hadn't even finished dressing, he needed to take his potion and he had the slightest burn in his stomach already, but whether it was hunger, worry or phantom effects of the potion he couldn't tell.

"I contacted my father, he welcomes you to a visit. We can go right now. I'm sure there will be far more alluring things for you in Asgard compared to the Elf land."

So Thor had come to take him to Asgard. Loki hadn't thought he was serious. But it was their last day, he should have suspected it. Thor's jab at Álfheimr was also to be expected, but it still made Loki offensive. "…There was nothing wrong with the Elf land."

Thor pulled an unimpressed face. "I've been to Álfheimr, it's boring. Besides its maidens. Asgard has far more exciting adventures to adhere to."

"…That is your opinion." Loki ground out.

Thor looked at him, unsure, before he spoke again, his voice careful. "I can swear Asgard will entertain you more. The Elves are prudish and without humour. They're concerned for only their own affairs. Asgard is lively, you will enjoy it."

"I will enjoy what I say I will enjoy," Loki challenged, "And so far nothing you have given me I have enjoyed."

The last one bit, Thor's face gave him away. But he brushed it off with a scoff. "So the Elves bowed to worship your feet? They're good liars, Prince Loki. Elves are cunning and always whispering, it's dishonourable and cannot be trusted. At least Asgard does not hide their animosity, as neither does Jötunheimr. They probably lied to your face, it's easy to pretend you like someone."

"I disagree," Loki laughed bitterly, giving Thor a dirty look for effect. But the words had chipped at his confidence and his heart started to race at the accusations. What if he was speaking the truth? Had the Elves disliked him? Were they simply smiling because it was expected of them and hoping amongst themselves they'd never see him again? Was it all a ruse to please their future king? Humour the king with his Jotun wench? Or was Nuada in on it? No…that didn't make sense, Nuada wasn't lying to him. Nuala hadn't lied to him. Álfheimr was real. The land, its people, it was all real, wasn't it?

But wait, what did he care?

"I am merely suggesting you come to Asgard," Thor continued, sounding grumpy. "Mother wishes to see you and I think you might decide you like it if you see it."

Loki refused to answer him. He left Thor standing like an idiot, waiting for a response that would never come. Thor just stared at him, until he sighed through his nose and shifted onto the next subject.

"…We've only today left." he hinted.

Heroically Loki fought the desire to create a clone to stab him through the chest and eat his heart. So, he couldn't get Loki to Asgard, might as well get him on his back. He took a deep breath to calm his voice before speaking. "Yes...we do." And if he was lucky— _he had to be_ —it would be the end. He had gave Thor a hard enough time, as well as his father, and he was getting to the point where he was confident he would be able to tell Nuada to just leave already. He wasn't worth fighting longer for, Jötunheimr wasn't worth it.

And as Loki expected, Thor glanced at his bed. "...Shall we?" The beast would fuck him in the same aftermath Nuada had, he had no more care, it seemed.

This was _ridiculous_. He hadn't even come down for breakfast! Did Thor not care, _at all_? He could have still been in bed when Thor walked in, would he have just climbed on top of him and fucked him in Nuada's leftovers? This was going to be a bad day, clearly his subconscious had known.

"…Does it _have_ to be twice a day? Nuada only asks for once." He tired of being treated like an object. If Nuada could at least _try_ to treat him well then why couldn't Thor? How could he expect Loki to submit if it would mean spending eternity by his side with that attitude? He was fucking in over his head. It was the last day, if he wasn't already pregnant then he wouldn't be, Thor should just give up!

"Maybe he doesn't want this enough." Thor said. Loki's shoulders hunched.

"Or maybe he cares about what I think."

Thor looked on two minds. "…Is it too much?"

Loki paused. He did not want to get into a heated fight with the oaf, his chances of winning were not high, but if Thor could back off first he'd back down too.

"I'm just tender. I don't get a reprieve." he said, dryly, just to get Thor off his case.

"Sorry." Thor said, frowning at his body. Loki shifted uncomfortably, wishing he had pants on.

Another round of staring and silence followed. But Loki was the one to break it before he could sort through his words with some sort of filter. "…If fates chooses you, can I have a private room of ice for myself?"

"A room of ice? What if it melts and floods the room?" Thor asked, looking extremely confused.

"…Prolonged exposure to warmth might affect me negatively. I might need the room."

Thor blinked. "Oh. Oh, well then, of course! Your comfort is important."

"Thank you." Loki said, but the look on Thor's face was questionable. Thor aired it right after.

"Are you still afraid of me?"

The gall of Thor was amazing. Loki stared at him, his gaze colder than ice, his shoulders a mile high. "What?"

"I won't harm you. You don't have to fear speaking to me, Loki. You're not a solider, you're not an enemy to me. I know that. And I won't treat you as one."

"So what, you'll treat me as a what? As a woman? I don't have to be afraid of you? I am not afraid! I am angry." Loki spat, taking a step forward.

Thor threw his hands out to the side, frustrated. "As a subordinate, yes. I'll protect you and keep you well. Whatever nonsense is being fed to you about me ignore it. I respect that you might become my wife and I'll look after you, I won't hurt you."

"I can protect myself!" Loki shouted, "You think me weak that I cannot protect myself?"

"You do not think it's an honour being protected?" Thor asked, now angry, "You don't think it's an honour that I would fight for you? Risk my life to protect you from all who wish to harm you?"

"Not when my protector thinks he's doing me a gigantic favour! I am not weak!"

The octave of his voice was alarming, even for Loki. It made Thor stop and raise his hands, seeming to rethink his situation. "Loki—" He started again, trying to remain calm.

But Loki couldn't hold back what came next, he was just so _angry_. Yesterday he had a taste of freedom, and today he was back in chains. "Shut up! You think so damn high of yourself! You think for no one _but_ yourself! I was and never will be afraid of you! I am Loki, _Prince_ of _Jötunheimr_. I am _not_ one of your loose Asgard _whores_ —"

"I didn't say you were!" Thor roared back.

"But you want me to be! And I will NOT!"

"But you'd be for that Elf?!" Thor taunted, the accusation rife in his voice, laced with jealousy. Loki exploded.

"THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM!"

"OF COURSE NOT, IT'S ABOUT YOU. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT _YOU_!"

There was no more holding back, they were screaming in each other's faces.

"I will not live my life serving only to please you when clearly _nothing_ pleases you!" Thor bellowed, looking as dangerous as the tales said. "Those loose whores are easier to satisfy—!"

Loki whipped his hand around and slapped Thor across the face. It was the exact moment that Laufey barged in, finding more trouble than he expected from the guards' warnings.

"LOKI!" he roared in shock, reaching forward in time to yank Loki away from the shocked prince. An ice dagger formed in Loki's hand, lusting for Thor's blood. Laufey just managed to hide and crush it before the Asgardian prince could see, too busy holding his face in surprise from Loki's strike.

"YOU WILL NEVER SATISFY ME!" Loki swore in a murderous rage. He was struggling wildly, only feeling the grip his father had on his hair when it pulled from the roots. Laufey had an arm around his waist, holding his face up and in Thor's direction.

"Apologize. Loki apologize this **instant**!" Laufey roared. Loki snarled and renewed his struggles, blinking tears down his cheeks as his hair pulled out.

" _ **No**_!"

"LOKI—"

"FUCK YOU!"

Laufey looked up abruptly to where Thor stood silent as the grave, no longer nursing his red cheek but staring blankly at the wild creature. Quietly Laufey tightened his grips to the point where Loki could not move an inch without crying in pain, and spoke to Thor in an even voice. "Prince Thor I am sorry. It appears Loki needs a lesson in manners. Please excuse us. I need to talk to my son."

The Asgardian prince didn't hesitate to leave, glancing back to find Loki visually spitting his way. Thor was sure the fires of Muspelheim were summoned behind Loki's eyes. As soon as he was out the door Laufey shoved Loki roughly into the nearest wall. He took advantage of Loki's stumble and towered over him, grabbing his arm.

"How could you say those things?!" he hissed.

"How can you sell me off like this!?" Loki screamed. Laufey slapped him, his head turning to the side with a painful pull in his neck. Laufey yanked him back, and grabbed his chin to lock their gazes.

"I am giving you a sure way to be a queen. You will be revered, and live in luxury. And yet you turn it down. You are ungrateful, your dam would turn in his grave." Laufey glared down with a stony gaze that didn't falter when Loki's face twitched, and broke into tears at the jab at his mother. "You will stay in here and wait for Thor to return." Laufey stated, and released him.

Loki stumbled to hold his footing, leaning against the wall. He pushed off as soon as he could, and glared after Laufey's figure. "No."

Laufey stopped by the door, looking over his shoulder. "Yes, Loki. Yes you will. I will have you chained down, don't make me."

"I hate you." Loki stated, without emotion. Laufey flinched. Loki quickly spoke again, in a whisper. "Mother did too, that's why he courted death."

The king's fists clenched and he stormed out before he could damage Loki further. The door slammed shut loudly, and in a horrified second Loki dashed madly for his potion. He sucked in miserably breaths, trying to keep it together long enough to drink his protection. He threw things out of the way in his haste, crying in relief as he grabbed and uncorked a vial, gulping the contents desperately. After he sucked out the very last drop he flung the vial angrily out of the window, kicking closed his little stash and burying it untidily beneath his other belongings.

_It was the last day. It was the last day. It was the last day, he could manage one last day._

But what would he do afterwards? His father clearly did not love him, he really wanted to send him away. Maybe he belonged here as little as he did anywhere else. He had no home. What did that mean for him? He had known he would one day have to settle with a mate, but respect was always a sure fact as he was a prince, so he pushed it to the back of his mind as there was little to fear and dwell on. But this…mating to a foreigner, it scared him, for nothing was certain. Live in luxury? Gold jewels across his chest meant nothing if the hand that put it there was the same one putting bruises upon him. He didn't want this, but what could he do? Even if he won this little trick, what would he do afterwards, sullied and marked by alien hands and in such a disgust to potential mates, forever a failure to his father, a whore in the eyes of his people, a mere used memory in the minds of the princes…

 _What would he do_? The thought was utterly terrifying. What had he been thinking? Loki let out a huge sob into his hands. His body wracked and he cried and cried, standing lost in his room. Suddenly he wanted to fling _himself_ out the window.

He might have too, did Thor not reappear, his face now hard but appearing calm.

Loki backed up frantically into the wall and sniffled to quell his sobbing. Thor approached the bed slowly, dropping his cape on the floor as he started to undress. He appeared unaffected by Loki's crying, but Loki couldn't tell if he was glad for it or not.

"Are you going to join me?" Thor asked, not looking up.

"No." Loki got out as clearly as he could.

Thor was quiet for a moment, ridding his chest of clothing before he looked up. "Loki. Please."

"No."

Thor stepped toward him. "I am not angry—"

"NO!" Loki screamed, then screamed again when Thor suddenly barged over to him reaching out. He ducked under his arm to escape to the door but Thor caught him, he was a trained warrior after all, and shoved him back into the wall, face first. The collision hurt, and Thor pressed a hand on his back to hold him there with frightening strength as Loki struggled to find purchase.

Then sickeningly Thor started to fiddle with his skirt.

"I won't climax to rape, there's no chance of a child. _There never was_." Loki spat with as much loathing as he could gather. His skin pimpled in a most alien way as horror shot through him, a horror that felt different to every other night with Thor. Somehow this felt different.

Thor said nothing in return, a surprise, but clamped a hand around over Loki's mouth, and a second later the world swirled. Loki inhaled the toxic scent of Jotun pheromones in his panic to breathe, and panicked further as it swam straight through his body. Thor pressed the cloth over his airways hard, forcing him to take in the scent until his very finger tips were tingling. He was being forced into arousal.

It wasn't new, but it was. It was different to how Nuada did it, Loki thought frantically, it was different. _It was different._

Loki struggled but Thor caged him with his body and held him still, giving him no room to land a blow or break free. Too soon Loki's limbs grew detached from his immediate direction and the nagging sensation of arousal infected him. When his struggling was demeaned weak enough Thor pushed up the remainder of his skirt and bundled it at his waist. Loki desperately willed it back into place, his body was creeping into enemy territory, and he cursed wildly as the forced arousal sparked through him. The cloth Thor had against him found its way between his lips, he could taste the scent on it, worsening his state. A state from a method that could only have been given by his own people. By his angry father who threatened to chain him down so Thor could rape him. Thor certainly wouldn't know how to pull this off on his own, Laufey gave him this method.

Loki started to cry. He couldn't help it, his body was not his own to control. His emotions poured through his mask as his arousal did, leaving him bare and vulnerable to Thor. When Thor threw aside the cloth he started to babble obscenities, threats and incoherent sobs, but he couldn't hear himself, he couldn't hear anything over his heart beat, and it did not stop Thor pulling out his hips and impaling him abruptly.

He screamed a scream he had never made before, a scream he had never made with Nuada.

There was no place to escape to and Thor thrust up in harsh snaps, moulding him against the wall. He kicked open Loki's feet further and pressed his right forearm across Loki's back to hold him there, and dug his left hand into Loki's hip to use to piston forwards.

Loki gave up. He cried quietly into the wall and tried to will away the wetness forming generously inside him, and the increasing filling of his cock. He didn't want to be receptive to this, to this blatant rape. He wanted to fight until his last breath but each thrust in forced out more of his will and replaced it with primal acceptance. His cock was rising rapidly and too soon for his dignity there was a wet slap as Thor entered his channel. His stomach was taunt and his body clenched down on the invader in a mindless need to mate, to fuck, to procreate, and no matter his begging, his body betrayed him.

The skirt seemed to be in Thor's way for he ripped it off, leaving Loki naked as he threw it aside with an angry undertone. Thor thrust in a predictable rhythm when he noticed the wet welcome and leaned over Loki and closed his eyes, grunting softly in his ear. The vocal sound did nothing to help Loki's reluctance and it made his skin crawl as Thor used him. Over and over and over and _for what_. The thrusts were slick and deep, but they were wrong, so wrong he wanted it out he want Thor out gone gone stop please just no more

Loki peaked hard in the next few minutes. But like everything else, this peak _wasn't normal_.

It started deep inside, a tightening of his passage. As he came against the wall it descended within, travelling until it reached Thor's cock. It closed around the pressing length. He heard Thor grunt and knew he could feel it too; he wasn't imagining it. Thor continued to thrust though, causing him pain as he rammed through the persistent tightening of his channel until it stopped at his entrance, unbearably tight. Loki cried helplessly, shuddering as he clenched snugly around Thor as the man pressed hard into his wet heat, moulding their bodies together as he released his own pleasure into him with a loud moan in awe. They shook together, Loki more so as his knees threatened to give out as the orgasm made his limbs floppy. His forehead rested against the wall, Thor's against the back of his head, breathing into his damp hair.

There was a question in the air, Loki could feel it, but he was far too horrified to do a thing about it. Whatever cheap explanations and distractions he had thought he would be able to muster if he ever accidently climaxed with Thor vanished before they could make it to the front of his mind. All he was thinking of was his weird peak and what it meant.

It was the same sensation he had the day after the first results with Nuada. It was the same day he had smelt the aphrodisiac, made from Jotun pheromones. It was the same scent Helblindi had rubbed on his lips when he was still virginal.

It was a peak only obtained by a Jotun influence.

Taking advantage of Loki's silence Thor pulled out. Without a word, a snide comment, a glare, without anything but a blank stare Thor grabbed him around the chest and physically manoeuvred him to the bed. Loki was boneless and barely able to move his feet as he stumbled along. His thighs connected with the side of the bed and Thor bent him over and kicked apart his legs. Loki sucked in as much air as he could, his fingers automatically finding purchase in the furs.

Thor spread his cheeks apart and pressed his cock between them. Loki gasped and jerked, sensitive and sore. Clearly Thor didn't share the dilemma. The beast was still half hard. Loki was wet and loose enough for Thor to sink right back in, grunting as he did so. He squeezed at Loki's hips to ground himself, watching as his own cum leaked out around his cock. Loki's hole twitched violently around him, far more lively than Loki himself who laid on his front, breathing into the bedding around his sobs.

Thor began a new rhythm. It took Loki a while to get back some control of his limbs other than clinging, and he tried to reach back to push at Thor's chest.

"Ge-get o-off," he panted, rocking with Thor's pace. Thor just pushed his arm away as if it were a fly buzzing too close, staring at their point of connection. Loki blinked away his tears, and took a moment to access his body seeing as he was trapped for the moment. His throat was sore from screaming and crying, he had a pounding headache, his scalp was burning and so was his stomach. He was hungry, no wonder he was shaking so. His hole was slick, he could feel the wetness seeping out of him, a dull ache around his ring under the abuse.

And despite his efforts, he had peaked under Thor's hand. There was an intense hatred burning into his back, he could feel it as clear as a sheet of perfect ice. Each thrust jolted him forward, pushing more and more hate into him. Suddenly the fear of a child struck him. He wouldn't be able to bear a child conceived from such emotion, he wouldn't be able to handle it. A child bred out of such hate, such aggression…

No it would be okay, he had taken the potion, even the odd peak wouldn't work. He would be fine.

"Just stop it!" Thor barked. Loki flinched. He had been trying to push Thor away again without realising it. He winced as Thor grabbed his arm and stuck it beneath his chest, doing the same with the other one, ripping his fingers away from the comfort of the furs. He then leaned forward with both hands on Loki's back and picked up the pace. Loki could do nothing but take it, crying silent tears as he was too squashed to draw in a full breath to scream. He just managed to keep on his feet. Not to aid Thor, but to aid himself. The more his hips drooped the more painful the jabs became, Thor seemed to have no problem fucking him despite the angle. A hand on his neck soon became part of the action and Loki yowled, his head turning up and squeezing Thor's hand as it squeezed at his neck.

"You will be tamed, Loki." Thor growled, thrusting for emphasis, "Asgard is no place for wildlings. You're right; you're no woman, nor weak. But you choose to act like a savage so I will treat you as one."

The golden prince didn't seem to be joking. Their skin was smacking loudly, accenting the penetrating depth to which Thor had sunk. This time he came sooner than before, grunting obscenely as he spilt inside Loki. Loki panted into the bedding as the movement gradually stopped, and Thor's weight lifted, the hand trailing from his neck in too gentle a manner.

"I did not wake one morning and choose to come here and ruin your precious little world," Thor said, quieter this time as he pulled out. He let Loki sag against the bedding, a heavy stream of wet dripping out onto the floor sloppily. "But I've tired of your conceitedness."

Loki had never felt so afraid of such calm words.

**XxXxXx**

There was a buzz going on that morning that Thrym found extremely suspicious. On every corner there were whispers and angry looks passed about, hushed quickly after. It wasn't often Jotuns gossiped, so Thrym knew there was something very wrong when no one shared with him the news. It was on his way to breakfast when he noticed it. He was late, and perhaps the fates meant him to be.

He turned back before he made it to breakfast and headed to where his gut directed him. To Loki.

And making his inners squeeze there were four guards posted at his door, glaring off as the echoes of Loki's crying soaked through the door.

Thrym made forward worriedly, even though they stopped him.

"Let me through!"

"We can't." They blocked his way, reluctantly doing so.

"What is happening in there?!" Thrym pointed angrily.

"The king has banned Loki to his room for the day. With Prince Thor."

Thrym gaped, out of words. All five of them flinched as Loki shrieked, followed by Thor's angry voice.

Thrym had to be dragged away.

The angry prince made his way straight to his father.

"Are you insane?" Thrym hissed as he barged into Laufey's office.

Laufey stood with two court members, all three looking scandalized. Thrym ignored the others in favour of glaring at his farther.

"How could you do that to Loki? Thor is hurting him!"

Laufey sighed through his nose, his expression falling to one of intolerance. He waved the court out, and waited until they left to speak.

"We provided Thor with an aphrodisiac for Loki, there will be no pain."

"Father," Thrym said, exasperated, throwing his hands out, "Loki doesn't want this. There will be no swaying him."

"He seemed to enjoy Álfheimr. Maybe he'll enjoy Asgard, we'll have to wait and see."

"Enjoying the land is not going to be enough if he hates his spouse. And he'll hate Thor now more so than ever!"

"Loki went wild. He hit Thor. He openly insulted him. He swore me in front of Thor. He acted like a rabid warg, not a prince. Disobedience is treated with punishment, especially as he likes to play the child."

"…And you think this will stop Loki from repeating it if he lands in Thor's hands?" Thrym asked, his fists clenched. Laufey looked at him for a long moment before looking away with a sigh. Thrym sighed too, angrily, and ran a hand over his face. "Father, please,"

"Loki will be fine. The aphrodisiac will ensure his enjoyment in the act," Laufey turned from his gaze.

Thrym frowned at his father's back. "…But not of his troubled heart."

Laufey said no more.

**XxXxXx**

Loki hated his room's ceiling. It was ugly and marred and useless and he _hated it._

He was on his back, legs splayed out and bent somewhat at the knees so Thor still had a helpful angle. The golden prince was on his fifth round, thrusting in a manner that showed he was as tired as Loki was. The tempo had visibly slowed by the fourth time. Thor leaned over on his elbows rather than his hands, his head hung to the left of Loki's as he moved. He had a hand twisted in Loki's hair, unintentionally but still successfully aggravating Loki's primal reaction.

But by now Loki was sore and exhausted and spent, his fingers holding limply to the bedding around his waist as he waited for the hours to mark the end of Thor's day.

He had climaxed four times already and he was over the idea of being able to avoid the next one.

Each climax had enraged the knowing look in Thor's eyes. The lie was revealed, and clearly not appreciated one bit. But rather than beating him (or rather, _only_ beating him), Thor forced upon him sexual affections, biting his neck, squeezing his flanks, scratching his back. He did so angrily, as if trying to prove he could have done it all along. But to which of them Loki couldn't tell.

The humiliation of being fed a lie about Loki's climaxes drove Thor into a frenzy, one he seemed to plan to rectify by making Loki cum a many times as he could, as if to make up for all those days lost. There was definitely embarrassment and humiliation on Thor's face, when he wasn't snarling and glaring at Loki's body parts seeing as he couldn't meet his eyes. He had no strength to revel in the shame he had caused Thor, not today, not on this horrible day.

And when those emotions weren't present, pleasure was. It was honestly disgusting for Loki to witness. It was worst in the position he was in now, on his back, forced to catch at least glimpses of Thor's brows creasing and his mouth parting in a soft 'o' as he moved, enjoying the tight warmth he was invading. It made Loki feel sick, sick enough to dull away his climaxes until the very last moment where a bite or a scratch would set him off. That at least was purely physical, and he was sure his face explained it.

During their third round Thor attempted to speak, slowing down and mumbling what might have been apologies and compromises. Loki managed to break his nose, hearing nothing but his own hard breathing. It left Thor with a red nose and a harder glare, but nothing fiercer than Loki's.

And making Loki angrier, his body wouldn't stop with the weird clenching. His fourth climax left him tighter than ever before as if he was having a prolonged orgasm, giving Thor all the pleasure in the world and making it more difficult for Loki. And worst of all, Loki's mind started to run.

He would get pregnant.

This odd climax had to play some important part in baby-making, and his body had surrendered four times, and four times Thor had emptied inside him. This wasn't good at all. He was terrified, it was all he could come to think of as the world swirled and drifted away, taking Thor and their bodies with it. the weird climax had almost happened with Nuada but he had stopped it. He had stopped it…maybe he shouldn't have, now Thor had all the odds.

He would get pregnant.

His only hope was the potion, but even that was a huge gamble. Everything was a gamble.

Why was he gambling in the first place? What was he gambling for? To remain on Jötunheimr in the castle with his _family_? His brothers cared little for him, Thrym was the only one to really give a damn. And his father…? No, he was the one that put him here. His father didn't want him. So why was he trying so hard to remain here. He didn't want anyone's pity or charity, nor he didn't want to be an unwanted burden.

What was he going to do?

Images of a future with Thor flashed through his mind. Stuck in Asgard, sticking by Thor's side because who knows if the rest of the Asgardians would treat him fairly. Stuck in Thor's chambers, his bed, where they would say he belonged. Stuck heavy with child after child to continue Thor's lineage and make history in the realms. Stuck in a realm his father, his people, his very history hated, and expected to be the one to make peace. Why _him_? He was the last person to care about making peace for the sake of everyone at _his_ expense. Why did _he_ have to get saddled with this? Why _him_? He couldn't do this!

But no matter how much he screamed it internally his hips still rolled up, stiffly at the every least, taking everything Thor gave him, working against him to doom him forever. The aphrodisiac had done its job, but Loki wished he were drunk so his mind would be lost too.

He should have just stayed on Álfheimr, ducked away into a bush and hid until he could escape all eyes and run away, far away, where no one would demand anything of him. He could've taken Sleipnir with, his strong legs would carry them far.

…Or maybe he should just accept the fact that he was going to be someone's queen. And soon, judging by the next load deposited within him. Loki's heart sank.

Thor groaned into his neck heavily, shifting up a bit as his back arched, both their bodies slick with sweat. It brought to Loki's attention the fact that he was hot, so hot. Sickly hot. They had been going for hours and Thor's mass was like a burning mound, smothering and simmering. And he still hadn't eaten all day. It did not agree with Loki's body one bit.

Helplessly, without much chance or will to articulate for Thor to move off of him, Loki twisted his head and jerked as close to the edge of the bed as he could before he vomited, tears and saliva stained over his face. It wasn't nearly close enough and he soiled the bed, but he couldn't find the will to care further than fearing if Thor would be so base as to fuck him in it.

Thor's reaction was quite the opposite though. The man leaned up on his hands and stared at the vomit with a shocked expression, one he turned to Loki after a long moment. His brows knitted in what was definitely worry, and he mouthed his mouth a few times but clearly had no words.

There was bile in his throat and a foul taste in his mouth but Loki swallowed it back just to be able to breathe, breathing shallowly. He stared up blankly at Thor, feeling his lips and the side of his cheek soiled. His chest rose in weak pants that he wished he could control, but Thor had fucked everything out of him, strength air and will. He felt he could sleep for a century, and maybe never wake up.

He was still hot though, his inners were churning in a sickening manner and he started to squirm, fearing they had turned to mush. The need to vomit again was already rising, as was the need for water and ice and snow and _Jötunheimr._ He wouldn't survive as Thor's queen if this is what would await him, he would literally die. He was doomed, so doomed.

Then suddenly Thor was bounding off the bed, stumbling on his well-used legs as he hurried around, tripping to his knees twice. Loki blinked wearily as Thor kicked his pants on, ripping back on his clothing all the while mumbling to himself as if crazed. Loki used the last of his energy to hold his head up to watch, simply confused as to what the Hel the brute was doing all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry," Thor then blurted incomprehensibly, wiping a hand over his face as he did so. He looked as if he was struggling for words, his state worsening each time he looked at the state of Loki on the bed. Loki's legs were still spread and bent, his hole swollen, lathered in white foamy cum and on display, his underside wet from the smearing. The bedding with filthy, and so was their bodies. Loki hadn't moved an inch besides his head, which he dumped back to scoff weakly in disbelief.

"I—" Thor started again, walking back and forth, indecisive, until he made a strange noise and stormed out altogether, leaving Loki alone with naught but his aching body and the ugly ceiling.

Loki hated both.

**XxXxXxXx**

"Hrímnir, make sure this is delivered to Asgard and Álfheimr respectfully." Laufey handed the guard two scrolls. In it contained the schedule that Loki would be tested for pregnancy in two days time. It also gave permission that the winning prince were allowed to take Loki home that day to present as a bride to their father for the sake of old customs, as to why the kings weren't invited to the testing. But of course Loki was to be returned the next day until a big wedding ceremony was made to celebrate the occasion and hand him over officially. Despite Loki's grievances he would one day be thankful for Laufey making sure he did everything officially, one day he would understand. Laufey was sure of it.

"Berhuir, please make sure you are prepared for Loki's testing," Laufey said to the healer, "and a little praying won't hurt."

Berhuir bowed. "Yes, my king."

Laufey hadn't been too keen on waiting two days for the test, but he had been ganged up on. The court itself remained on his side, either out of fear or neutral opinions, but those closer to him had other words. Besides Thrym, Byleistr had approached him and suggested giving Loki a day or two to calm down and think on it all. Berhuir sidled up soon after with the reason that Loki's body needed a little longer to ensure a late pregnancy would be found. After their hinting Laufey gave in, agreeing that maybe Loki could use a rest. The boy _had_ been doing his duty, no matter how reluctantly. And he felt guilty for striking him, despite it all.

A guard then entered, his expression already annoying Laufey. "My king, Thor has left Loki's quarters. But…"

"Yes?" Laufey prompted impatiently.

"Thrym is going to confront him."

Laufey swore, and waved a hand frantically. "Go and stop him then! Bring him here! Go, GO!" He closed his eyes in a forced manner and exhaled slowly to calm himself before he lost his temper. The guard hurried out, but he was only replaced with another one.

"Your majesty," the new guard said, out of breath, "Your presence is demanded in the main hall."

"What now?" Laufey grunted rhetorically, getting up anyway. "Did Nuada pull a fit as well?"

"It's Helblindi."

Laufey broke the nearest shelf.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both princes have had 6 nights each, the test is next on the agenda.
> 
> And now you know where and why the weird Loki orgasm comes from. What will happen to our poor Loki?


	20. Respite and Respond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I was getting lost in some Hydra Trash Parties (coz Bucky whump is second to Loki whump) and playing Amnesia The Dark Descent with my bestie (which nearly killed me, physically, not accounting for how many times I died in the fucking game good gawd it's scary as shit maybe I need to write some lokixmrface…), had some family problems, but most importantly this chapter was difficult to write. I just feel bleh about this chap so please forgive if it sucks I dunno
> 
> _I apologise for errors._

**Chapter 20: Respite and Respond**

Nuada was a morning person. An early riser, as well as an early sleeper. There is nothing better than getting a proper sleep and waking to face the day at your fullest. Of course staying up late tinkering with his newest creation or watching the stars with his sister was more of a priority in his younger days than going to sleep, but he learnt the value of good rest and it had served him far better than he ever gave his father's scolding credit for.

And rest was something he knew Loki was not getting enough of. It was saddening to see the state he and Thor had brought Loki to, that angry bitter creature that looked like he wanted to close his eyes and keep them that way, but he still had cause hope that perhaps it was the presence of a child aggravating Loki's demeanour. _His_ child.

He wasn't one to gloat but he felt confident with the success of their nights. There was no guarantee Loki would have allowed him in, there was no guarantee Loki would have felt anything for his touch, there was no guarantee Loki would climax, but by the grace of the Nine he had. Loki had done beautifully, and though the ever-changing glint in Loki's eyes was incredibly slow and fragile, it was a godsend. Loki was suffering, he had no space to rest his mind, body, or soul but he was still fighting ahead and Nuada wanted nothing more than to put him at ease. But Loki was proudly independent. He wanted to get by on his own, tear his own path. Nuada could respect that, it was a comfort to see the fire in Loki's eyes, in his actions.

So being informed by the gruff guards that Prince Loki was **not** to be disturbed for the next day it left him with an automatic query. Jotuns were gifted with the ability to hide their emotions through their hard facial structures and centuries-grown defensive attitudes, but Nuada could immediately sense the tense atmosphere. While many of Laufey's guard did not care for him, it highlighted the fact that today's hostility was not directed toward him. The guard issued him a stiff summary of the scroll that was shoved into his hand before leaving him to read it. It explained Loki was to be tested in a days' time, and that it was time for all to wish for the best. The rest was instructions and schedules that seemed far too petty and formal considering the suspicious residue dripping from the page. Nuada could almost smell tension off the scent of the guards, or maybe it was on the scroll. Either way he left his room that morning with caution.

**XxXxXx**

Receiving a visit from Berhuir was almost welcomed when Loki woke up.

He couldn't recall when he had drifted off, but he woke in much the same position as Thor left him. It had taken him a long time to fall asleep after the horror. All he could do was lie and stare at the ceiling through wet lashes, breathing as calmly as he could to encourage the heat beneath his skin to leave until he was shaking from the shock rather than the sickness the heat brought on. He must have been tired for he fell asleep without knowing so, waking up as he had when he fell asleep. The humiliation burnt deep, spread eagle and covered in remnants of their couplings, but he was far too exhausted to react. So he lay still and tried to think of nothing as Berhuir worked over him, nudging him into a more dignified position. The healer was alone this time, and Loki spared a moment to be grateful.

Nothing was said between them other than Berhuir asking if it hurt here or there, but Loki was hurting everywhere. He allowed his silence to act as a 'no' and kept his gaze away as Berhuir felt around with gentle fingers. When he was done he passed along the message that there were no broken bones, nothing severe, besides for a little swelling in the obvious region. Berhuir said little else to nothing, and it somehow gave Loki a little relief not to hear gasps at what might be his broken body. He saw no blood whenever he peeked and he saw no alarm on Berhuir's face, so he allowed himself to remain blank.

Or as blank as he could be.

Berhuir remained long enough to tell him he would tested for a babe soon, and that he must use the time to rest and recuperate.

The moment he was alone again Loki shed his tears. He couldn't stop them no matter how much he tried to lie to himself, fool himself, pretend it would all pass— _for it wouldn't_. He was a great fool, his father had been right, he was a fool. He had been _such_ a fool. He was a fool to think he might get out of this. He was a fool to think his father would have mercy on him. He was a fool for hiding behind potions and tricks when Thor was gaining his victory as victory always had and always will be gained. By force and pain.

He had been a hopeful fool.

Of course it would end like this. Of course.

Of course.

**XxXxXx**

The manner of expression concerning the tension seemed unanimous. Everyone Nuada passed in the hallways had an odd look in their eyes that he could just barely notice. Guards and servants alike. It was definitely there. But no one said a thing, no one was gossiping, no one looked at him either, as if they _couldn't_.

And knowing the ways of the laws, Nuada could imagine they had been ordered into some form of silence.

It was a painful walk down to breakfast, he prayed Loki were there. Glaring at him, sneering at him, stabbing his thigh with a knife— _anything_ , as long as he was there and well. It was painful each day that he had to reframe from intruding on Thor's time with Loki. It was painful to know he had put Loki in this spot. It was _painful_ to know it was because of him Loki was suffering Thor's advances.

It was painful to see a suspicious air at the table.

He seemed to have missed the usual crowd. Laufey was there, Nuada wished it were a good thing but it wasn't. The king was barging off with his court, aggravating the so oh obvious tension in the air as he stalked, shoulders hunched and not a good morning in sight. Nuada didn't bother to say anything, and waited until they left to approach the table. Thor wasn't present, and unfortunately neither was Loki, but Thrym was there, alone now, and he stared at the table with an intensity that could burn a hole straight through it.

Nuada glanced at the guards at the doorway as he walked, silent on his feet as he usually was when cautious. He kept a calm air and sat down in one of his usual seats, one nearer to Thrym. The other prince was finishing off his meal with great difficultly, his fork hovering at his mouth a few moments before he managed to push it in his mouth and chew it as though it tasted like shit. He looked tired too, drawn, it was almost too obvious. And by now Nuada had a fair take on Thrym's usual state to be alerted.

The reasoning could be simple though, a fight between father and son. It happened all the time. But again, it didn't seem usual for Thrym, not for something petty. Not this kind of tension. Though he wished it was, he truly did.

With care Nuada attempted to calm his racing fears and tried to fill a plate, but each moment that Thrym blatantly ignored him sent his heart reeling. He wished more than ever everyone was present, glaring holes into one another, just so he _knew_ what was going on. The ignorance to the matter was killing him, and he was a _very_ patient man.

"…Thrym," Nuada called softly from across the table.

Thrym frowned at his plate, but said nothing. He was paying special attention to the last scraps on his plate, stabbing them with stiff jabs.

Breathing through his nose Nuada glanced at the guards here and there who didn't seem particularly interested further than glare at the area across from them. The table was empty save for them, and while Nuada enjoyed solitude this wasn't one of those times. He slammed his fist on the table, rattling the entire array of cutlery, the Jotun with it. "Thrym!"

The way Thrym jumped made it seem as if he was genuinely surprised to see him, and he stared in shock. The guards looked over but everything was still as the two future kings stared into each others' faces.

But still Thrym gave nothing, his lips sealed tightly as he leaned away, as if guarded.

"…Thrym, what has happened?"

The Jotun prince then looked extremely uncomfortable, squeezing the fork until Nuada heard it snap. It took a long moment of staring until Thrym gave in with a guttural sigh, ending off in a snarl that sent the hair on Nuada's neck standing.

"Loki..."

The name sent Nuada's heart spiralling and his face twisted into his own snarl. He lowered his voice so not to include the guards. "Loki?"

Reluctance made itself present across Thrym's face and he slunk back in his seat. He shot the guards a careful look, and Nuada straightened as casually as he could while waiting for Thrym to continue.

"...He had an episode yesterday. With Thor."

Nuada cringed sadly and shifted, putting all his efforts into remaining calm. "What?" he rasped, hunching his back toward the guards.

"It…it's…" Thrym shook his head, looking away.

"Thrym, please," Nuada leaned forward. Whatever was happening had Thrym jittery and without words, the two things that were most definitely _not_ Thrym-like.

The younger man struggled for his words, throwing glances at the guards in a way that made it clear he shouldn't be speaking of it.

"…Father caught him. Yesterday. Disrespecting Thor." Nuada tensed up. Thrym shrugged helplessly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "He said Loki went wild. So they...so father—he suggested—..."

"Thrym," Nuada started, softly, dangerous, "What did they do to him?"

Thrym's face crumpled. "...You should go check on him. I'm not allowed to. _No one is_." Thrym added thickly, eyes darting again, but it was answer enough for Nuada. He shot up in a flash and kicked back his chair viciously. It snapped over sharply and collided with the floor, shattering in several places. Thrym had to wave down the guards who moved to follow Nuada as he stormed off, in the direction toward his own rooms rather than Loki's so not to make it as obvious as the boiling heat bubbling in his chest, enough so to melt the icy hallways.

Whatever happened between Loki and Thor had stirred quite an atmosphere, the air was heavy with it. Elves were always the first to notice change, it was a terrible privilege. From the servants to the guards it was obvious. And it was painful.

As expected Loki's door was guarded. Nuada didn't bother to argue or fight his way in, it would make trouble and he did not want to enrage a group of already pissed off Jotun warriors. He sneaked around and until he found the nearest balcony, and with practiced skill climbed his way across the ledge to Loki's room. The castle had many broken and protruding chunks of ice, as well as old architecture that were large enough for a man his size to comfortably climb along. He was as fast as possible and no one down below spotted him.

But when he climbed into Loki's room, he was still unspotted, for Loki was not where to be seen, but a still figure buried beneath a fur.

The state of the room was confusing, but clear. He was met with a huge whiff in the face of sex. Dank stale sex. Loki's scent was especially potent, heady and by now stale, he could almost taste it, but it wasn't alone. Thor's was mixed up in it. Disgusting and strong and prominent. That didn't include the ripe smell of fear and horror that seemed almost out of place. The room itself seemed to be in order, but the smells alone told the tale of what transpired.

The figure seemed to know he was there for it jerked and stiffened, so he approached slowly, fearing what he would find. He could see and smell no blood, a small miracle, but when he finally saw Loki's flustered tear-stained face, his heart broke.

"…Oh Loki."

In his bed Loki let out a helpless sob in reply. He was bundled up in his fur so that only his face was visible, his eyes big and wet as he cried out as much as he could in his facial expression as his body failed him.

Nuada was off the floor and on the bed in a second and started to gather Loki up as if he was in pieces. "Oh, Loki, dear heart, I am sorry." he breathed, pulling Loki to rest against his chest. There was no struggle or protest as he rocked them, petting Loki's head as the younger sobbed into his chest, filling him with anxiety. "I am so sorry…"

"D-don't..." Loki mumbled against him, curling his fingers into the material of his shirt.

"Don't what, love?" he asked gently, nervously, and leaned over to see Loki's face so he didn't have to exert power talking.

"Not today…p-please not today." Loki begged, seeming to pull away but tugging Nuada's shirt with him. Nuada grit his teeth to hold back his own tears. He nodded and pressed Loki down to his chest to rest so he could feel it.

"I won't Loki, I won't. Rest, you rest, love."

"I hate them…I hate everyone." Loki's body shook with each silent sob now, and he curled into Nuada's side despite the words he started blubbering. "I –h-hate you…"

"I am sorry…" Nuada kissed his head, holding him tightly but not in a constricting manner. Loki didn't seem to mind and burrowed closer into his side where it was safe, fisting handfuls of his clothing.

It was difficult to control the burning in his palms, Nuada didn't think it was possible to feel such _anger_. The bubbling his chest intensified so much he thought Loki would be able to feel it.

At least he was feeling something, unlike that _pig_. How _dare_ he? Did he have no heart at _all_? Nuada was not fooled, he had no doubt that Loki showed little participation when bedding with Thor, but there was still that tiny consent given. Given so they could nurture it and built it, and now Thor had broken it in the worst way possible.

It was almost funny, in a most dark cryptic manner. What could _possibly_ be derived from this? There was no possible way Laufey did not allow this seeing as the entire castle appeared to be forced into submission on the topic, a feat only possible by the king. It was sickening to think about, but Nuada had to, because he just couldn't fathom it. What had they hoped for? To force Loki into utter submission as well? What kind of partner did Thor think he'd be taking home after that? What son did Laufey think he'd have left? What stability did they think they would create by breaking Loki and forcing him down to where they wanted him? And judging by the shaking lump in his arms, any hopes for the best were dwindling.

But then this shouldn't be surprising, this whole thing was about what Laufey and Odin wanted. Had he just been free to pursue what _he_ wanted Loki might have been happy right now, maybe pressed against him by choice and desire. It appeared it didn't matter what happened to Loki as long as it was in what those old fossils wanted. It was clearer now more than ever that Laufey favoured Asgard, even after everything. They had a horrid relationship, one that wouldn't ease if the people kept their frame of mind for yet another generation. But perhaps they deserved each other, to knock their heads, Jötunheimr and Asgard were one and the same.

It just shouldn't be over Loki's pain.

A sudden urge to wage war and sate the fire in his chest assaulted him until he shifted impatiently, lowering it enough to aim a little more logically, like where Thor was at this moment.

His fidgeting caught Loki's attention and the male looked up at him with angry eyes, pushing at his chest to keep him still "What?" he asked irritably, his voice thick.

"I'm going to kill Thor." Nuada said, and moved again, this time with more conviction as his voice brought to life the idea.

Loki made a panicked noise and grabbed him back, leaning his weight on him with a shocked expression.

"You can't do that!" he choked.

"I want to," Nuada hissed, his chest tightening at the trails of crystallized tears down Loki's cheeks. He had yet to move out from under Loki, but he didn't have the heart to untangle his desperate fingers. Those little fingers that were clinging for some form of safety, reassurance. Safety from _him_. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to hold him and cuddle him until he was pushed away, but he also wanted to break down every door until he found Thor and beat him into the ground with every object he could find.

But it was _his_ fault Loki had fallen into his nightmare, it was all his fault. Loki blamed him, he knew it for he would— _did—_ too. What husband would he be if he didn't avenge his queen? He had done wrong too, he knew that, but he would never have done _this_.

"You can't!" Loki shouted, his voice weak and broken from screaming. "Father will punish _me_. D-don't…"

Nuada had never before felt so murderous. This was not the Loki he had come to know. There were dark circles under Loki's eyes and gauntness to his cheeks that had somehow crept in. Were the rumours of Loki not eating true? It was a terrifying thought. Having little food and little rest could kill anyone, and it could most certainly hinder the possibility of a child. And if not pregnant Loki would just have to try again, repeating the days. This could become a dangerous cycle if not broken. Laufey would have to be desperate if he knew this and yet continued.

And no wonder the coward hadn't been present at breakfast. Thor was hiding ugly his face. Disgusting, he needed to be taught a lesson, a lesson he wouldn't soon forget. But if he attacked Thor it would be a personal attack and a violation of the terms for Loki, and Loki would no doubt suffer under his father's hands further before being tossed into Asgard. He believed that now. He hadn't believed it, that Laufey would be capable of making such a choice because of old quests, over his _son_. But he had been proven wrong. How could Laufey allow this? This was just brutal, Jötunheimr was past their own dark ages, such treatment was not supposed to be allowed. The realms had advanced, hadn't they?

They lay in silence for a while as Loki calmed, still holding onto his shirt like a lifeline but with a calmer air, his body heavy rather than tense. Nuada relaxed back against the bedding and pushed thoughts of Thor away in favour of aiding Loki now. Thor could wait, tomorrow was soon.

"...Would you like to vent on me? I've spoken to Nuala, she understands." It was all he could offer at the moment as he tried not to bury Loki away in a safe place and go about slitting the throats of a few people. His hands were shaking, hot with lust for blood, but gently rubbing his hands up Loki's back calmed him, perhaps as much as it did Loki, which couldn't be much.

"No..." Loki breathed into his chest, wiping away his tears. Loki was too tired to make a distinction that he should be pushing Nuada away instead of pulling him closer, but each second in Nuada's warmth only made him wish for the moment to last forever.

It didn't mean he wasn't angry though, he was furious. But it was so overwhelming that he couldn't grasp it, and cried it out the entire morning until he was one more exhausted. Nuada brought back its flames by visiting but this wouldn't be one of those times punching Nuada would make him feel better. This wasn't a tantrum. Thor had raped him, repeatedly, there would be no feeling better. He didn't even know why Nuada was here, he could assume he wasn't allowed here either seeing as where he entered from.

Along with that he kept thinking about what Thor said about the Elves and if it was true, and of course the fear of getting pregnant. Álfheimr had been so beautiful, so open and colourful, but it felt like a distant dream, something he had read of rather than experienced. What he had experienced yesterday was real, that was reality, not Álfheimr. He was _such_ a fool, why had he bothered about anything? He should have just…

"Loki you should before you lash out again at the wrong people."

This time Loki punched his chest with the ball of his hand, but it was barely a little smack as his energy failed him. "Why?" he asked irritably. " _Why_?" His anger flared again as Nuada threw that kindness at him. He hated it too. The kindness. Nuada. Thor. His father. His room. His body. _EVERYTHING_

"Why are you—! Why are you do you care? The people who I do want to hit don't even care what I have to say. And here you're—! _Why_?" Loki trailed off into a small sob, and wiped his eyes again. Nuada lifted Loki's face and leaned forward to bump their noses together, searching deep into those watery red eyes.

"Because this is the Nuada you will remember for ever. These first moments are the foundation of what we will be and if I can't care for you now how will I for the rest of your life? You'll look back on these days when you were strong but felt helpless. And while I do not bring you comfort now, you'll find solace knowing you weren't truly alone. I am here for you, Loki. I am only here for you."

Loki couldn't find the will to reject his words, they sounded so promising, so benevolent that it made his gut clenched at the thought of having to become Thor's. He couldn't. He just couldn't.

"…You should just do it."

"Do what?" Nuada asked softly, tucking in the furs neatly beneath Loki's chin for something to focus on that didn't involve tearing his own heart out and offering it over.

"Fuck me."

Nuada did a double take. His eyebrows screwed up and he looked back and forth between Loki's eyes as if to find what went lose. "Loki…?"

"He did it." Loki said, resignation in his tone. He even shrugged, his face threatening to crumble even as he tried to seem neutral. "He did it. He made me peak. All day."

Nuada let down a long breath through his lips and tugged Loki closer, squeezing him to stay grounded. "…Our chances are better."

"Still—" Loki whimpered, his strength wavering again. "I can't-I won't. I can't. Just do it. Just-help…just…"

Loki didn't know what he was asking as he certainly wasn't asking the Elf to impregnate him, but Nuada seemed to understand anyway. He did not oblige his delirious rambling and rocked them again until he was calmer.

"…I can't be his forever."

Nuada squeezed him in a manner most possessive, Loki could almost feel it working against Thor's seed and savoured it. Berhuir had given him a quick clean but he still felt filthy, and there was still seed leaking out of him, as well as dried seed all over the bedding. He wondered if Nuada could smell it, and automatically wanted to dissolve into the bedding and disappear.

"You shouldn't be. Odin threw it in Laufey's face years ago, it was quite a gossip topic in the realms."

"How do you know?" Loki sniffed, and looked into that face that had never made him cry like Thor had.

"I was there." Nuada said, brushing Loki's hair from his face.

"Why haven't you married yet?" Loki asked, softly, _personally_. And Nuada answered so.

"I wasn't ready to care for another. I was young and ambitious and moved around more than I stayed still. It's not very good traits for a husband, is it? But that is how Thor is now. Young and immature. Selfish. He will not do for a husband."

Loki rested his head back down on Nuada's chest, and stared at the wall. He wasn't ready to belong to another.

"…He's taken me twice everyday…What if…?" He knew he was taking the potion, but seeing as how fucked over he was he wouldn't be surprised if the potion failed him and he turned out pregnant, and from Thor too. He felt void. Void of hope. Void of love. Void of safety. Void of choice. Void of himself.

Nuada grit his teeth inconspicuously and squeezed Loki. "…Let's hope not. Hope is a powerful thing."

"...Hope didn't save yesterday."

A hard breath escaped Nuada. "I'm going to murder him."

Loki growled. "Just stop it."

Guilt poured over Nuada, but it was well earned. Loki could rub it in until he died and it would still be well earned. This was all his fault, and he would never be able to make up for it. "I am sorry…please believe me."

"I'll kill him myself." Loki said instead.

Usually Nuada would have tried to veer Loki's thoughts from such a troublesome thing but he shared the sentiment, and doing so would be hypocritical. But killing Thor would be worse, it would only create a havoc Loki was too young to have any experience of. Things could _always_ get worse, even when you think you couldn't fall any further.

"With my bare hands," Loki continued, staring off blankly, "His soul can forever reside in shame in the halls of Valhalla. Strangled by a little Jotun…"

"…I don't think he deserves a spot in Valhalla," Nuada snarled softly.

Loki scoffed sourly. "You're mistaken if you think raping a Jotun is going to change his perfect Asgardian status. In fact it might have even boosted it…"

Nuada petted his head. "Rest, don't…—"

"Don't what, Nuada?" Loki asked, exasperated. Nuada wished he could find comfort in it but he could hear the cracks in Loki's voice, and the grip on his clothing was still desperate. Loki would no doubt jump at the first sound. His anger was just a mask. But then that's all he had been this whole time, hadn't he? A mask.

"Don't think? Don't harp? What? What more mustn't I do?"

"I'm sorry."

"If I'm not pregnant and Thor gives up you must give up too," Loki suddenly blurted— _ordered_.

Nuada didn't answer that, he didn't know how to. And he wished it didn't cut so deep.

"Just…just go. Just stop it. All of it. You don't need me. You don't need Jötunheimr, Álfheimr looks just-just fine…Everything is fine, your people are fine." He was rambling again. "Just go back to your sister and your people and you'll all be-be f-fine. You don't n-need me, they don't w-want me…"

To this Nuada sighed and cringed. "My people have shown nothing but welcome to you, love."

"Lies," Loki whispered, "just…it's all lies. If anyone knows a lie, it's _me_."

Nuada just held him closer.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The moment Thor opened his eyes he knew he had to leave. He had barely slept a wink, tossing and turning, full of drink and confliction. The night was a horrible one, one his conscious knew Loki was sharing.

As soon as he escaped Loki's room he grabbed the first alcohol he could find, scaring the kitchen servants in the process. He must have looked crazed, he felt so, and bit off the corks as he marched away, guzzling down the drink to burn away his throat and consciousness as strange emotions bubbled up his pipe. There was a heavy rock sitting in his stomach beneath it, festering what he knew to be guilt. Guilt, beneath the frustration and anger.

And the emotions multiplied when he met with Thrym. Or rather, when Thrym met with him.

He had been on his way to his room to rest and hide when Thrym came barrelling towards him, shouting and pointing a massive finger. Thor had never realised just how big Thrym was. But his words were lost to the Aesir prince, the drink, the whirling in his head and the other shouts from the guards muffled it out. He didn't even know how to react, and stood dumbly as Thrym was intercepted and dragged away by the palace guards long before he could reach him. And though Thor knew it had to be about what he did, his mind just couldn't fathom the reality of it.

So he staggered back to his room like a drunk, ignoring or maybe just oblivious to the multitude of scrunched faces. He fell into his room, throwing back gulp after up. He was hot and sticky, reeking of sex and _Loki_. It was as if he was back in that room, back with—back on—…

Home was calling to him, Mjölnir was singing, twice nearly soaring into his hand with the urge to fly home, fly straight through the damn realms. He was tired of this battle. He wasn't winning this battle. He didn't know how to win such a battle. He wanted to go home. Nothing felt certain anymore, he could feel the tangible change in circumstances, almost as if the fates had suddenly shifted far off course. He wanted to go home.

But he couldn't. He couldn't dare face his mother like this, she would know. Everyone would know, and if they didn't, his drunken tongue would surely reveal his nasty doings. …Nothing that Heimdall surely hadn't seen though.

With the battling fears and desires of going home clouding his actions he fell into bed, wondering if he would be drunk enough to numb the pain if an angry Thrym dared to barge in and crush him. But he didn't understand it, in his haze. Laufey had aided him. Laufey had shown him. Laufey had explained. Laufey had given him Loki. Laufey wanted them to marry. Laufey Laufey Laufey. _Laufey_ wanted this.

After hours of a tossing broken sleep, Thor got up, kicking aside the discarded bottles of drink and reached out lazily for his hammer. She flew into his hand instantly and he stood for a moment rubbing his eyes, trying to clear them before taking his leave. It was still dark outside, for a morning on Jötunheimr, but he had no desire to spend a whole day here after what he did. It sank deep into his belly, an odd curling tightening around his gut at the thought of it. He didn't understand why it bothered him so. He had never forced a maiden on her back, it had never even registered as a possibility. But Loki was no maiden, and he was making things as hard as he could for Thor, so why did his actions feel so…out of place? Loki brought it upon himself, Laufey said so.

Without warning or goodbyes he climbed out the window and flew to the Bifrost site. The Elf had done it countless times, there was no reason he couldn't either. And with the amount of seed he put in Loki (now that he learned about the damn orgasm disaster) it was more than likely Loki was his. If the fates hadn't already chosen the Elf. So no one would say his leave left his duty unattended.

The second he set foot on the seal a flash of light greeted him, and soon followed the familiar and welcoming sight of Heimdall and Asgard.

Still hazy from the night's drink and lack of sleep Thor stumbled forward, giving Heimdall a tight smile that said he wished not to elaborate. But the Gatekeeper was never one to be coy.

"I am curious," he started, his patronizing tone alone making Thor stop to sigh tiredly, "To which you feel you excel in. Making love, or making war."

"You ought not to watch when I bed my future queen, Heimdall." Thor droned, grumpily, looking up at the Gatekeeper with red tired eyes despite feeling a foreign emotion to the word 'war'.

"No. But it is hard to ignore the distressed pleas of said future queen."

"Loki is uncooperative. Something had to be done."

Heimdall smiled without humour, looking off across the galaxy. Perhaps he was looking at Loki.

"Something." He repeated softly, sounding it an awful lot like an accusation.

Thor sighed nasally and looked away with a hard swallow. "It's what they want." He said, lifting his hands out helplessly. "It's what they want."

"The king is awake in his study."

Thor sighed again, wishing Heimdall were playfully taunting him like before, rather than this cold shoulder. But there was nothing to be done, and Thor flew his way straight to his father. He rubbed his eyes one last time before entering through the balcony, straightening in a last attempt to look more decent than he felt.

"Thor."

Thor let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. His father was seated in an arm chair, a thick book in his hands. A candle was burning, the light of the sky just beginning across the horizon to mark the new morning.

"Father. You should still be asleep."

"I haven't been indulging in much sleep lately," Odin closed the book, looking over his son with his sharp eye that made Thor feel naked.

"Neither have I." Thor admittedly, shifting awkwardly. "I don't think anyone has."

Odin regarded him stoically, his face giving away nothing, as usual. Thor had always hated that side of his father, being able to look so bloody blank even when outraged, he could never tell what he was thinking. And infuriatingly he had learned that Loki had the same mannerisms.

They were quiet for a hard moment in which Thor found it harder to hold his gaze. His father was obviously waiting for an explanation to his odd visitation, but all he wanted to do was beg to remain home. But Odin's hard expression made him feel weak for thinking such a thing, and he eventually he gave up the gaze and looked at his feet.

"I...if this doesn't work out, what then?" As a leader and a warrior for Asgard Thor learned it wise to have some sort of plan, but he had pointedly neglected to sort one out for this one. He had thought the less thinking he did the easier it would be. He couldn't have been more wrong. He was more convinced now than ever that this idea was going to fall apart. He knew what he could do to bind it, he could repeat what he did until Loki was most certainly pregnant, chain his wrists and drag him home whispering threats to keep him behaving. But he was supposed to be gaining a queen, not a slave.

Odin answered with a sure tone. "It has to."

Thor snorted, unimpressed, his eyes darting in frustration. "We don't know that."

"We do, because we will do what we can to see that it happens."

Thor swallowed as Laufey crossing his mind, then Loki. "…Asgard will never unite with Jötunheimr."

This time Odin frowned deeply, giving him a warning look. "Not if their one-day-king thinks like that."

"It's not just me," Thor shot, the drunken lingering fading off with each sentence. "Everyone thinks that. And they're right. I can't—" Thor huffed, wiping a hand down his face as Loki's face refused to fade along with the hang over; it only grew more vivid. "I can't do this! The prince—…I can't."

Odin frowned again, but it was softer, as was his voice. "What happened?"

Thor was now digging his fingers into his temples, hearing Loki's voice. His _distressed pleas_. His face went red, and again he wondered why he was feeling guilt. Loki did not bleed, he did not break, he had been as wet and giving as he had ever been. His peaks were the most pleasurable sensation to be wrapped in, Thor would never forget it and he knew it was something he should think to boast to Fandral with. And despite it all Loki was just a Jotun, an angry little creature that looked just about ready to kill him, why was this guilt attacking him? Loki had attacked him first. Loki had...it was Loki that…

"Thor?" Odin stood, already fully attire. He set the book down properly on the table besides him, Thor just caught the title _Ljósálfar_.

"Loki isn't going to work," Thor blurted as Odin approached, and looked around as if said person were going to jump out a corner wielding a blade. "Not…I lost my temper. And Laufey…"

"Did he hurt you?" Odin asked immediately.

Thor laughed. He couldn't stop it, nor could he pinpoint the source of hilarity, but he laughed, staggering off as he did so. He shook his head, dusting his abdomen off idly as his mind wondered to the day before. Odin followed him slowly.

"Son?"

Thor breathed deeply for a moment, staring down at the gilded floor. "…Laufey had me drug him. It made him he—…compliant." His voice was like stone, his eyes rivalling its level, rivalling perhaps even his father's. "But he had never been more unwilling."

Odin leaned back when he caught on. But two seconds later he was besides Thor, placing a hand on his shoulder and urging him around.

"We do what we can." He repeated. "What we _must_." Thor looked up at him, unsure. "Laufey bid it, and you are doing your duty. It is by far time Loki did the same."

If possible Thor looked even more conflicted. "I—"

"Loki is grown and matured. Rebellion earns punishment. He surely knows the consequences of his actions."

"I don't think he does." Thor argued, feeling like a child himself. He shrugged awkwardly, "it's just all—too fast—I don't—He won't make for a wife like this. He's got this rebellious motive, this—I don't know how to—"

"Time dampens all fires."

Thor nodded, wanting to feel comforted. He then backed away, fearing his father could smell that he stank of sex and drink. He wiped his hands together, ignoring the phantom feeling of Loki's skin. He just wanted it to all go away, he was tired of the whole mess.

Odin smiled stiffly, as if he could possible empathize. Suddenly Thor felt sick. "But let's not tell your mother."

"No." Thor agreed, shaking his head at the idea, shaking his head at other ideas.

"It will turn out fine." Odin promised, "If not like this, then somehow."

Thor was too tired to ask for a proper explanation, but his father always had a reason for the things he did. He was older and wiser, he surely had a plan, some solution. How many times had Thor been advised to just do as his father bid? But it didn't stop him from feeling the first tendrils of fear concerning a war. "I still think we should at least prepare for—I just—"

"Is Laufey angry?"

"No?"

"Were your forbidden from leaving?"

"No."

"Why did you come back?"

"I…I just…I wanted to be at home. Until the test, tomorrow."

Odin nodded, looking satisfied. "Then stop worrying. Go rest before you fall over. I will think on it. Go on."

Wiping his knuckles under his nose nervously Thor nodded, and gladly took reprieve.

Little did he know Odin had already thought on it. He had a lot of time to think over the past two weeks. Laufey looked all too happy to slip in the golden doors of Asgard, it had been quite the surprise. Prince Loki on the other hand looked like he was ready to gnaw off his own arm if it meant escaping his father. Laufey may want the unity, and that was a big advantage for Odin, but if Loki refused to play along it would be one difficult union. He had no doubt controlling Loki with the right pressure was possible but the fact that such manipulation would be necessary to such an extent to keep him obedient would pose a problem. Asgard could not have a wild queen set on clawing her way home, it just wouldn't do. It would set their people on edge rather than assuring them they now had peace. Loki was too honest for one claimed to be a little liar, Odin had expected to gain a Jotun queen that he would have to keep a sharp eye on.

But it was a little too late to back out now, Laufey would be furious after all the trouble and Loki's despoiling, and Asgard would be the scandal of the realms. Perhaps Frigga had been right, he had been hasty. He had expected too much of Thor to believe he would be able to succeed in such a task, perhaps Laufey thought the same of Loki.

But it wasn't too far gone, it could still be remedied. Odin would just have to do this the smart patient way. Balor was the one living on borrowed time.

Odin watched his son leave, turning once the door closed to the table where he pulled out a scroll and quill, and addressed it to the wilting king of Álfheimr.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

At some point during the morning Loki fell asleep again, cuddled into Nuada's chest. He didn't give a damn anymore, he was sleepy and Nuada was warm and his stomach was burning but it was a good burn, it was a comfort, his comfort, his last hope, and he drifted off to wake up with a large hand on his shoulder.

Immediately he could tell it wasn't Nuada, and immediately he feared it was Thor. He jerked away from it with a cry and headed the opposite way, blindly climbing his way. But hands caught him and yanked him back, shoving him down into the bed and holding him there until he recognised the loud voice of his brother, Byleistr.

"Loki! Look at me!"

Loki panted, and made an unintelligible sound in acknowledgment.

"Look at me," Byleistr repeated as he sat back down next to him, easing his grip as Loki's weary eyes focused on him. "There, slowly…"

Loki looked besides him to the empty bed, and suffered a jolt of panic that he couldn't explain.

"Where is he?"

"Thor's gone to Asgard."

"Not him, Nuada!"

"…I don't know, in his room? He and Thor were ordered not to approach you." Byleistr frowned. "Why?"

Loki tried to catch him breath, unable to keep from looking suspicious. "No—…nothing…" It still took a moment to grasp what Byleistr said. Loki stilled. "…He…he's gone back to Asgard?"

"Don't get your hopes up, he'll be back tomorrow for the testing."

Loki shifted up to sit against the wall, wiping his nose with the furs out of habit as he thought about the next day. The next test.

"…What is going through your mind?" Byleistr asked, despite it being obvious.

If the test was positive Loki wasn't sure what he would do. Or rather, he wasn't sure what he _could_ do, he would be given away and made another's. Made _Thor_ 's… He couldn't be with child, he couldn't grasp it enough to even _try_ accept it, it was too frightening. Maybe being pregnant from Nuada was the next best thing he could start hoping for. Anything but Thor.

He started to breathe heavily again, pressing his hands in as his stomach began to churn. He threw Byleistr a pleading look as the tears returned. "…I can't do this."

"I wish you didn't have to."

"I can't, brother, please. I _can't_."

"Thrym and a few others have tried to argue your case, but…father is adamant. The gain to be had is…"

"Is worth more than my loss," Loki finished, sobbing back a scoff. He shook his head, determinedly. "I can't. I have to…I…"

"You shouldn't leave either." Byleistr said, knowing Loki well enough. "If you do, where will you go? They're recognize you. Even if they don't, what do you think they will do to you?"

Byleistr was right. What was he in a world full of bitter Jotuns? He would never survive on his own, not for long before he perished by the hand of the land, or the hand of another Jotun. He would not do for work, he would not do as a mate, he would not do as anything more than a liability to those that found him. He had never worked a day in his life, and he was now sullied by foreign hands, and he knew his personality alone with earn him continuous beatings; he would not do to even keep as a slave. He was his mother's child.

"…I should've married Helblindi." He whispered.

If he had none of this would have happened. _None_ of it.

Byleistr answered after a short pause. "Yes. You should have. But it was father's mistake falling prey to promises of interrealm mergers. Had he just put you in Helblindi's care you might have found happiness, even if it's not everything you think you want."

Fat tears rolled down Loki's cheeks as he blinked them away, bundling the furs to his chest. "…What must I do?"

But to this Byleistr had no answer.

Loki sniffled, accepting the doom with a nod. "I'll go to another realm." He didn't know to where, but it was a start.

"Alone?" Byleistr frowned, "You know that is a bad idea."

"Then tell me what I must do? What is going to happen tomorrow if I am pregnant? You'll let them drag me away? _Him_? And if I'm not?" Loki paused to suck in an angry breath, "You'll let them keep raping me? Until I bear a child out of hate and revulsion? Listen well—" Loki paused to lick his lips, a feral look in his eyes. "Should that happen, I will dedicate my remaining breaths to making their lives _Hel_! I will _not_ be the puppet father wants! I cannot!" Loki's voice broke at the last second. He panted shallowly, blinking over his tears. "…I cannot…I can be more than a broodmare, he just…he's never let me."

Slowly, as though Loki was a wild animal, Byleistr shifted closer and drew him into a rare hug. Loki automatically embraced him back, throwing an arm around his neck and sobbing.

For he no longer saw an end.

There never was. He had lied to himself as much as he had everyone else. What was he anymore? The beautiful priceless prince every Jotun in the realm wanted to have? No, he was nothing now. He had never been grateful, and now he had lost his status. The only way he would keep any form of dignity and respect after this was by keeping a title, but the two offered to him he couldn't bring himself to take. One was a death sentence, and the other was surely just a farce, though he was already stuck in both, wasn't he?

"You can still win this Loki," Byleistr started, but Loki pulled away.

"You're still saying that! _How_? How do I even _survive_ this?! Nuada maybe—!" Loki paused in surprise, feeling just how easy the idea sounded. "…But…Thor…no. He's…"

"He's a young man that lives for the battle, and for sex that he goes home to. Control his comforts and you control him—"

" _He is never touching me again_!" Loki spat, moving an arm's length away as disgust and anxiety crawled its way into his belly at the thought of it. "I will scream this entire structure down next time. _Every_ time. So you can all experience it with me!"

Loki didn't think he could handle another week, he would lose it. And he'll take them all with him, maybe word will get out into the realms and he could tarnish Thor's name straight from his bed. Yes…he would work on that.

"…And if you're pregnant?" Byleistr asked angrily, "Loki, think bigger— _lie_! For fuck's sake!" Loki jumped, it wasn't often he had seen Byleistr speak so heatedly. "You're the best liar in this family and yet you sit here being a victim. I told you to take charge, even if that meant lying through your teeth until you had Thor infatuated—"

"I am not some heavily-chested woman!" Loki cut him off harshly, "I am not some difficult _princess_ he will love forever once he's wooed her. He will never see me as an equal no matter how many times I smile and bend to his will! I am just a savage to him, he said so himself! I will not play the good wife just so one day he can tire and decide to treat me as he _actually_ sees me. When it is too late for me to escape. And you are cruel to ask it of me."

"…You are not thinking this through." Byleistr shook his head sadly, "You're making a mistake. You're digging yourself further into this hole—"

"Well it's my hole. Just for once can it be _mine_?"

Byleistr lowered his eyes. They shared a moment of silence where Loki looked out of the window, wondering briefly when and where Nuada had slipped off to.

"Father is going to regret this." Byleistr sighed. Loki chuckled sourly.

"Good. I should hope so."

"I think we all will. Just try to think, please—? Loki, look at me. Please?" Byleistr cupped his chin. "Whatever the results tomorrow, just remember you can _still_ make light of this— _listen_! …If you're pregnant, from Thor, know you'll have the babe as a start to tear Thor down with. Every man has a soft spot for the one that bears his children. Lie, lie as you always do, smile a pretty smile and take care of that babe. Take care of it until everyone questions whether you're the same savage Thor spoke of. Until Thor questions himself and comes to you in hopes of forgiveness and to ease his own regret. You will have the _King_ of _Asgard_ on his knees begging to make you happy. Can you see that, Loki? Can you envision that just for a moment?"

…Yes…Yes he could.

But the _path_ there was the problem, not the destination.

"And Nuada. A man like that who oversees the needs of many will be hard to manipulate, but he needs no manipulation, does he? I hear no complaints about him."

An uncomfortable tug formed in Loki's belly. "…He pretends to be nice. I can't…if it's a lie it's a good one…"

"That could be a problem. Thor is straightforward, but you've seen the worse of him, all you need do now is draw out the best. But the Elf is cunning, he could be utilizing the opposite strategy. Win you through an abundance of false care, only to drop the pretence later."

The thought made Loki sick. It dragged away kicking and clawing that small part inside him that drew comfort from the unspoken idea that Nuada might just be the lesser evil.

"What do I do with that then?" He asked softly, coughing to keep his voice steady.

"Make friends." Byleistr smiled when Loki raised his brows, expecting the response. "The king, his sister, Lady Frigga—make friends with _other_ queens. The guards, the people. Down to the stable boy. Ensnare them until they would grow bold enough to stand with you again their king. No one likes to see someone they care about get hurt," Byleistr petted Loki's cheek, making him look down. "So should the day ever come that Nuada betrays you, you'll have _his_ army to use against him."

Loki laughed hollowly, the idea seeming so far fetched and yet so concrete when spoken by Byleistr's hard voice. Why couldn't he just do that with his own people against his father? Oh right, because he had gone around insulting and making people trip over magical ropes rather than being like Thrym. He had never been very pleasant to anyone, that's why he was alone now.

"I do love you little brother," Byleistr's face fell, "but I cannot protect you from this. Nor can Thrym, he is in a lot of trouble. You have to be strong and make mother proud."

"Would he have done this?" Loki asked shyly, trying to remember his dam's personality.

"He would have been able to seduce Odin if forced to. Because he knew the benefits of sacrifice."

Loki's face screwed up at the idea and was once more grateful he wasn't suffering _that_. He sighed heavily, then frowned at his lap.

"Is Thrym okay? What did he do?"

"Besides raging like a lunatic and blatantly disregarding a king's order? Or, order _s_ , rather. Nearly started a fight with Thor. Started at least three with father and still destroyed half of father's office."

Loki blinked up owlishly. "He…he did that for me?"

"Yes. But it was stupid, he's in great trouble now and you'll miss his presence because of it."

Loki smiled weakly, leaning away with a small sigh. "Thank you for coming."

"Thank you for hearing me."

"I'll think about. Tonight. Now." Loki promised, a strange new feeling settling into his chest.

"Good. Think it over, and decide how you will handle tomorrow. Don't think only for today and tomorrow. Think for the future. And I'll call for some food."

Loki nodded in thanks, shifting back to lie down and think.

And think he did.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

As if trying to keep two foreign kings happy wasn't difficult enough, the people of Jötunheimr decided to share their own very passionate opinions. Laufey was drowning in arguments and debates. Word had somehow spread of what transpired between Thor and Loki, that Thor barged in on Loki and took him violently against his will, knowing nothing of the aphrodisiac that Laufey himself had provided. And while aphrodisiacs were common, they were not a love potion.

The people were very upset to hear that Loki's screams were audible down the hall, full of helplessness and desperation and _shame_. They had all turned a blind eye at first, bowing to their king's decree. _First time mating can be daunting_ , they said. _Mating an Asgardian will take courage_ , _Loki is being so brave_ , they said. _He will get used to it, the Elves and Aesir mate nearly as similar as we do_ , they said. _He is a proud prince, he'll become a foreign queen and bring glory to Jötunheimr. He will love our praise_ , they said.

It was all false hope to keep away these arguments Laufey was trying to put down. But now he had factions of all kinds demanding his audience in response to Prince Loki's blight. No Jotun wanted to hear about Thor Odinson holding down one of their own and making him scream, least of all little Loki. Not even the rebels, not to Thor Odinson.

The only relief that day was that neither Prince Thor nor Prince Nuada showed their faces, he hadn't the energy to deal with them, _or_ protect them from the angry groups.

As Laufey moved from person to person shouting back explanations at them, he realised he was heavy with guilt. He felt as if he should be the one going to the king and demanding an explanation on what was being done to his boy. And like them all he had turned away, telling himself Loki would fall into place eventually. But like Fárbauti, Loki was as stubborn and hard as a rock. Once Laufey had said Fárbauti would without a doubt love the imported berry cakes from Vanaheimr because he knew his tastes, so Fárbauti made it his mission to actually change his taste in treats. In the end Laufey truly believed he wasn't faking it anymore, Fárbauti had even fooled himself. Fárbauti hated being told what to do, he hated being read and assumed of. He wanted things to be done because he decided so, not because it was assumed by others that he would want it so. Though while Fárbauti hadn't been married to him under duress his personality was trickling out of Loki and sadly in this situation. Fárbauti had already been queen when Laufey learnt of his difficult ways, and as queen he was entitled to being difficult. But Loki was not yet there, he couldn't afford to go all Fárbauti on them just yet. Not yet.

He didn't even want to imagine if Fárbauti was here…

Now Laufey had to dwell in the knowledge that Loki screamed beneath another. Berhuir assessed that there was no physical damage, the aphrodisiac had done its job, but the light in Loki's eyes was dwindling. Laufey wished it was because Loki was realising where his place was, but the same wish was making him feel bad. He wanted this union with Asgard, or Álfheimr if not Asgard, but he didn't _want_ to hurt Loki over it. If only Loki had been not so…Loki. Loki was not acting like a prospective queen should, and it was becoming painfully obvious. He could no longer hide behind the excuse that Loki was nervous. No, the people were now under the impression Loki was difficult because he was being hurt behind closed doors and Laufey found himself slipping further into guilt at every thought of its truth.

And just like rabid beasts the people took advantage of the weakness.

The court remained loyal to him, but it was a quickly growing agreement that Loki was not going to submit, and they eventually expressed concerns as well. It would benefit no political hope if the situation continued as is, and if this course of action did not have Loki submit they would have a problem on their hands. An irreversible problem.

One of the last groups to visit Laufey was the warriors and their angry parents that were once in line for Loki's hand. Their feelings on the matter differed slightly to what he had been hearing all day, and though clearly one-sided greed, it still grudgingly made sense.

"You cannot expect the poor boy to shame himself for those outsiders. I would fight too if I were him, having those filthy enemy claws taint him. He is too young and too precious to spoil. Not that you haven't tried!"

The speaker was a wrinkled elderly dam, pointing a crooked bony finger at Laufey. He happened to be a Frostfemme. And he also happened to be Helblindi's grandmother.

Laufey cringed lightly at the accusation, glancing around at the group. Helblindi and the others stood behind their parents, glaring openly at the king for the treasure they were robbed of, for the shame all the Jotun were feeling. The guards hovered, as irritable as everyone else after an entire day of grumpy visitors to the king. Laufey didn't even want to hear their opinions.

"What has been done can be seen as an act of duty and merit if you just stop this now and wed Loki to one of our own." A father said, a hand on his son's shoulder.

"More like a boon to Asgard." Someone muttered bitterly.

"He clearly doesn't want to be bonded to these men." Another answered.

The Frostfemme scoffed. "It's not that he doesn't want to, it's that he _can't_. It must feel all wrong. Imagine the struggle for one inexperienced to lie with one not Jotun? The smell the look the touch—everything is wrong! His body is telling us this is wrong."

One of the warriors hummed. "It's happened many times before—"

Helblindi's father growled. "Never with a Frostfemme. They're meant to breed exclusively with our people, not outsiders."

"I don't think he being Frostfemme makes it more difficult. He's just frightened, he's at Odinson's mercy for stars' sake!"

"This has taken a turn for the worst."

"Loki deserves a proper mate, one who will _properly_ care for him." A murmur of agreement went around, along with glares from warrior to warrior as to _who_ should be that mate. They were all selfish, Laufey thought, like himself. Like Loki. Their entire realm was selfish.

Laufey sighed, sagging in his throne. "I am well aware of this. But wedding Loki to either realm puts us in an excellent position in the realms. He will be queen, he will have sway and influence, Jötunheimr has much to gain!"

"Fuck those realms, we can get along just fine without them, like we always have. Look what they've done once more! We must be the laughing stock. You've let them turn the prince into their personal whore!"

At this Laufey sat up straight and growled, banging his fist on his arm rest. "Enough! Loki is trying for a babe under strict order and circumstances, he is no whore! This is for the good of all."

"And what of the good of my grandson?" the Frostfemme said, "He had all the right to believe Loki would be his, and you tore that away."

"Enough with that, Helghar, Helblindi isn't the only one standing here!" another barked sparking the next argument over which son was most worthy.

Swallowing for patience Laufey sighed nasally and stared at them, still as a rock. Two of the fathers stepped forward from the rowdy crowd, and bowed.

"Your majesty, what we're trying to say is that it is not too late to fix Loki with a marriage to one of ours."

"And which _one_ is that?!" A dam screeched, breaking from the group to glare at the two and the king, "I am tired of games, my son is worthy of a Frostfemme and he will get one."

"Greedy much? Did your dam fuck Odin and pop you out?"

Laufey sighed again as an enormous fight broke out, the poor guards once more jumping in. One of the two men was still standing and gestured for them to leave.

"May we talk?"

Laufey got up reluctantly.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like, damn. Results next. What the fuck is going on anymore I mean it's like world war z who is writing this shit like wtf
> 
> GUYS HALP PLEASE. My bestie is trying to write a Thorki fic for me. She is fucking good at plot twists and content, she is just worried on Loki's personality. She doesn't quite click with him and she doesn't want him to be horribly OOC.
> 
> Is there anyone willing to beta read for her? Someone/s who can point out if Loki is being OOC, while understanding him in canon and the AU she has put them in. It's a fantasy dark!vampire!Thor. It's not some cliché mysterious guy next door, it's out in the woods with Loki as Odin and Frigga's real kid. Possible Mpreg and stuff. PLEASE she is really worried but the story is way too good not to be posted here because of Loki jitters. DAMMIT LOKI.


	21. Foreboding Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old emotions, new problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys guys gais 700+ kudos, wow. Thank you so much! I never expected this, but I am really proud and grateful for all the love and support you guys have given me. Thank you all who hopped aboard to share this with me, it made it all the more special~! 3
> 
> I _might_ write a oneshot where Loki gets super revenge on their asses. But I have already five other fic ideas hounding me to be written. But if anyone would like to write it for me I would be forever grateful? I have plot ideas to lend and it only needs to be a oneshot, and I really can't promise I'll get around to writing it myself. It's emotionally challenging enough to keep track of this version lol.
> 
> Now let's see if Loki is pregnant. If so, whose is it? Ehehehehhe
> 
> _I apologise for errors._
> 
>  

**Chapter 21: Foreboding Peace**

The evening after Byleistr's visit had Loki feeling sick. His door was locked, he could hear commotion and activity outside but it was difficult to make out anything coherent. It opened once more that evening for a servant to deliver him food and a sympathetic glance, one which he hadn't the strength to sneer at. He didn't know how he was supposed to be anymore.

Nuada did not return, so Loki assumed he had slipped out when Byleistr came, but his chambers were too heavily guarded to slip back in. Or maybe he was just busy. …Or maybe he was finally listening to Loki's wishes and decided to just stay away from him. Either way, Loki spent a great deal of time trying to think, even though it hurt, as he promised his brother he would do. But he missed Thrym, he wished he were here too, holding him and making a stupid joke. The thought of Thrym yelling at their father for him was distracting, but he tried to be good and think. He didn't have much time left.

Does he accept this, or not?

His first response was **not** , he felt validated for thinking so, but that path had only led to his pain so far. Was accepting the other path the better choice? The _right_ choice?

Byleistr made it seem so easy, as if pretending to be someone you're not for half a lifetime was not a depressing challenge. His words made perfect sense, but Loki was not the heartless little Ice Queen he pretended to be. He had feelings too, he had wishes too and he most certainly had fears. Maybe it was his own fault for acting so distant and independent, maybe he had given off the wrong image and his father overestimated him.

But it was too late now. He had to decide what he was going to do if it turned out that he was carrying a child.

Thor came to mind first. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand and prickle, his shoulders hunch in defence. Their last meeting had been shockingly violent, unexpected even through his opinion on Thor, and he had no desire to find himself bound to Thor's bed for the rest of his life, false or not. He would need a lot of liquor to get through that until he at least got used to it. It would kill him, but maybe he could do it. Just turn off his conscious and lie pretty lies, how hard could it be? But that would only come through having Thor's child inside him, and that was another problem. Could he love that child? Could he stand to even look at it? Would he have a choice? Again Byleistr made it sound so simple, and for the first time in years Loki wished again it was one of his brothers that had been born the Frostfemme, not him.

Having Asgard on their side would be a great boost to Jötunheimr, he would make history of the realms if he wedded Thor Odinson. It all sounded so fancy and desirable, so _golden_. All he had to do was play puppet and be patient.

But the thought of having Thor bear down on him again, between his legs, caging him with those thick arms made him feel sick to the point he had to stop trying to convince himself he could do it. It wasn't working, so he thought about riding Sleipnir across that wide field, enjoying the wind whipping through his hair in a manner similar yet exotic to the Föhn winds they had on Jötunheimr.

But his reeling mind couldn't be distracted for long, even when he tried to think of Thrym, and he grudgingly brought Nuada to mind. His confusing Elven prince.

Loki still wasn't sure what his angle was, but the sex was good, the conversation was decent and he would be lying if he said he didn't want to go back to Álfheimr. There was little to complain about besides having to mate under duress. But that was the problem; _it was too good to be true_. There was no way he would be fortunate enough for Nuada to be the charming man he acted like. There had to be a catch somewhere, but Byleistr had already gone over that, as if it was all so damn easy.

Frankly he was feeling annoyed with Byleistr's _advise_ , it was feeling more and more like just the more well-put version of his father's desires. Byleistr didn't give him any options for getting _out_ of this. Thrym might have…

But if he turned out to be pregnant from Nuada, would it be better than with Thor? 'Of course' was his answer before he even finished his question, but he shouldn't fear Nuada any less for not sporting the bulk and temper Thor did. Physical torment wasn't the only form of torture out there, and Loki was not keen to find out if Nuada was part of those silent sadistic types that loved sick mind games and false comfort. He knew he wouldn't take it silently, he would fight back, but he did not want to be bound to a mate like that. He didn't want to be married without the chance of having it annulled (never could a queen choose to annul her marriage to a king), stuck with a helpless unwanted infant from a partner that took joy from tormenting him, or simply didn't care enough about him to care if he was well.

Maybe he was just thinking of it wrong…maybe if he tried enjoying their company he would be better off? Nuada was alright to speak to, and not too touchy, so that was good, right? It wasn't particularly hard mating Nuada, and if he was lucky it wouldn't change. He could work with that, if he put his mind to it. And Thor…? He had a playful disposition when not angry, and he seemed to be a simple man, if not a bit selfish in his own ideas and desires. He could work with that too, if he just let his fears go and gave his life over, make himself vulnerable and just let it all go. Surely Thor would allow him a drink or two before sex, he'd probably guzzle it himself. Maybe they'd find common grounds like that

Maybe the baby would steal his heart, maybe he would love it. Maybe he would love it so much that he would no longer care about the princes. Maybe, if he was lucky, he would love it and be content enough to raise it and be happy. Raise it to be his little prodigy, yellow hair or not.

Maybe Thor would change. Maybe Nuada was real. Maybe he would eventually be happy.

Maybe.

The next morning Loki chose not to take his potion. He could feel phantom effects of it lingering, scaring him that it would be somehow noticeable by Berhuir. Hopefully he wouldn't be mated tonight, if he wasn't already pregnant, but he could always try slip into his room later to take it. The morning was busy and not very private. He was cleaned and dressed by servants, his hair brushed and his body oiled, as if the test had already been done and he was indeed pregnant, ready to be given away.

Food was brought for him, he had to eat under the supervision of guards and a servant, who waited patiently for him to finish. He ignored the looks they gave him. He didn't manage much, he was still feeling sick from last night and the ghostly burning was making him more nervous. He forced down as much as he could without ruining his form with food, then he was spruced up one last time before he was told he would be led to the testing.

There was still no Thrym, not even Byleistr, just insignificant faces Loki recognised but had no names for.

He tried to keep his cool as he was taken from his little space of ruined privacy. He walked stiffly, looking at no one, acknowledging nothing until they reached the royal healer's room. He would have been able to keep himself akin to a statue, were Thor and Nuada not present.

The two princes were standing outside the room, accompanied by a few guard. There were a few court members to act as witnesses, and to start celebrations should the test be positive. They all looked so hurried, so ready to hear the news and continue his life for him. Maybe he ought to just let it go. Just let it go.

"Prince Loki,"

Loki almost didn't hear the greeting, so lost in his own thoughts. He looked to the right where the princes were, standing equally as stiff. Nuada was bowing to him, one hand behind his back and the other across his chest. The formal greeting made Loki's skin crawl, he felt like he was stuck in a surprise wedding ceremony. He just stared, wanting to fade away into the wall and become just another broken corner.

Nuada looked disappointed not to receive any kind of response other than his staring, but he tipped his head in what seemed to be understanding and stepped back in place beside Thor, whose arm muscles were twitching. His arms were folded across his chest, twitching and straining as he tried to keep as blank as he could. He didn't bother to give a greeting, and Loki didn't want one. Thor should have just stayed on Asgard then this would just end sooner.

Then there was a sudden presence beside him and he jumped, looking up to find Thrym. His inners softened from their clenching and he longed to sob and force his way into Thrym's hold. It wasn't hard to resist with all the eyes surrounding him, and the fact that Thrym wasn't looking directly at him or trying to engage physical contact. He just stared forward, stoically, his own arms straining at his sides in an attempt to act calm. But then he nudged Loki's side with his hand, once, meaningfully, and Loki felt safe again.

As his own tension dropped with Thrym's needed presence, he allowed himself to peek from the corner of his eye at the other princes. They were not very secretive about their contempt, lips curling and eyes narrowed. And funny enough, Thrym was included into the loop, using his height to glare dangerously down at the foreigners in a way Loki had never seen him do before. It felt liberating to be the one Thrym was siding with, that it was he who he was pulling such a face to defend. Their huddle was so unlike their first meetings. Awkward and full of dry humour and childish tension. That was nothing compared to the palpable strain that Loki feared he would actually trip on.

Quickly after Thrym's arrival Laufey made his, curling an arm around Loki as he started the moment. Everyone else followed after them into the room, standing in what seemed to be designated places judging by the old scribe pointing and muttering about formality. Thrym was the only one to disobey, going to stand across the room where he folded his arms moodily, acting like a child and not the next king of Jötunheimr. Loki almost wanted to ask him to just calm down, he didn't want to be denied his presence for too long.

"Greetings all. Today marks a fortnight of effort towards a glorious unity. A glorious purpose, to which my son, Loki, is burdened with. His sacrifice will forever be praised throughout our land, throughout the generations and throughout the realms."

The only ones not nodding in the room were all four princes. And the only one of them doing his best not to grimace was Nuada, who had his head bowed for a reason Loki didn't want to acknowledging.

"It is most prudent, more so now than ever, that a bond is made to unify the fragile pieces of our realms."

Loki wanted to vomit.

"Mistakes him been made, but the only thing to be done is to mend them. With patience and time, and with strength. I wish good luck to you both," He nodded at Nuada then Thor, then looked at Loki with a frightening intensity. "Let us hope for the best."

Then he looked away, but it left Loki rooted on the spot more so than ever. Was that… _nervousness_? On his father's face? For what? Or was it desperation? Maybe it was best not to know. It made Loki feel suffocated; not even staring as hard as he could in Thrym's area made it even remotely okay.

A few more words were passed, then _he_ was. They led his body into the examination room, leaving his mind afar. He ghosted along, accepting that this had to happen. He could try to run but it would only stir up more attention, more problems, more hurt. Maybe Thor would hold him down again. Maybe his father would make Nuada do it this time.

"It's alright," Berhuir said, closing the door behind him from the waiting clan. He lifted Loki to sit on the examination table. They were alone, and Loki allowed himself a tiny intake of breath. It sounded much like a sob, and Berhuir petted his face.

"Be strong, little one. Be strong."

Strong. Be strong. Byleistr made being strong seem like it was easy. Laufey made being strong seem like it was supposed to be easy. Loki couldn't remember when last he had truly felt strong.

"Lie back." Berhuir guided him verbally as he neglected to show any initiative of the happenings, until he was lying quietly as Berhuir worked his magic.

Unlike before Loki had a heavy feeling of dread hanging above him. There wasn't that excited dark knowledge that he couldn't be pregnant, that he had foiled his father's plans. There was no giddy fear. There was no hope. He didn't want to hope. He didn't want to care anymore. No one gave it to him as an option, and he was losing hope of getting it.

Hope was an empty lie, and Loki burned the phrase into his mind as he lay still.

Time seemed to pass slower than usual while Loki and the healer were gone. Thrym went back to glaring at everything, initiating Thor in the process and so followed murmurings between the witnesses to sooth their king with weak assurances, but not without their own intolerant glances the princes' way.

But then Berhuir remerged.

And everything was for naught.

"I am sorry."

That was all Berhuir said. Three simple, apologetic words. Three words offering an implication.

Three words, was all it took to create an uproar.

Immediately Laufey bombarded the poor healer with a loud interrogation, his own calm façade crushed by the news. Everyone started talking loudly at once as if Loki wasn't currently just a door away listening to them argue crudely about interspecies sex and the possible problems.

"No, no, this isn't about that!" Thrym barked at someone, pointing an angry finger as he joined the rising commotion.

Nuada stood where he was, trying to keep some form of order and formality but Thor joined the chaos with a snort and turned to storm out. He was nodding darkly as if he had expected the answer, knocking two Jotuns out of the way as he shoved the door open.

It was his disrespectful expression that made Nuada follow.

In the room Loki could barely keep from vomiting, suffering a mixture of disbelief, relief, and fear. The noise lasted a few moments before the door burst open, startling Loki a foot in the air, and Laufey came striding in, still yelling at Berhuir.

"Is there something we aren't doing? How hard is it to conceive?!"

The healer panicked under his gaze, mouthing silently at the impossible question. Loki took the moment to slide off the examination table to his tingling feet, clutching at the bedding for some form of grounding. He was trying not to laugh or cry, two things which were threaten to bubble past his lips in a crazed manner. He could not believe his luck, but unlike the last time he was more terrified than he was glad. Maybe it really would be best to just accept wherever fate sends him rather than enduring another week of this madness.

"He just isn't catching, your majesty. It does happen. May-maybe he needs more time, not everyone—"

"He is Frostfemme! He should have been pregnant the first week!" Laufey exclaimed, then turned to Loki, "Have you denied them?"

Loki choked, too overwhelmed by his own emotions to be dealing with his father's, backing up against the bed. He wished he had just stayed on top of it, and tried to crawl back up weakly with failing legs. "No!"

Laufey got closer. "And did you peak each time?"

"Yes!"

"So help me, Loki—"

Loki hit at his father's chest, earning a bit of space through surprise, and continued to back away. "I did e-everything you wanted! I _took_ everything you wanted! What more must I do?! Ride them down the _fucking_ _Bifrost_?!" He didn't care that the door was open, he didn't care that there were a dozen eyes and ears listening, he didn't care that the princes were listening—he just didn't _care_.

"My king, let's take a moment." Berhuir said, trying to get between them. Laufey recognised the look in his eyes, as if he would beat Loki, and growled at it, then at Loki.

The king breathed deeply through his nose to keep his calm, staring away from Loki. The noise outside had died down in favour of listening to their huddle. Then Laufey pressed his hands to his head, and gestured his face to the doorway. "Out. Get out before I lose my sanity."

Loki was only too happy to leave. The order did not specify his name but he wasn't stopped when he dashed out. He tried to ignore the communal aura of pity and frustration as he ran, aiming to run straight out the palace. The fancy clothing pulled and waved as he ran, his eyes glistening with tears. But then he was distracted by loud voices coming from the throne room, blocking his way out. There were servants huddled by the archway as well as guards as they too tracked the noise. Loki slipped into the room, recognising those voices.

It was the princes. They were near the middle of the room, gaining a fat audience with each second.

"Back off." Thor growled down into Nuada's face as they had their long awaited stand off. Loki could almost see the satisfaction in their demeanour, beneath the dark promising.

" _I will not_. Your arrogance is astounding and surpasses what I thought possible, even for you!" Nuada screamed, his eyes murderous.

"Watch your tongue, _E_ _lf_ , or I will rip it out."

"How dare you—?! I am not your age, _boy_ , you are—"

"I care not for your—!"

The men were near about to tear each other's throats out, invading each other's space and snarling in a dangerous game of power and dominance, seemingly oblivious to the crowd outside their own world. Loki wandered closer, able to slip between the many bodies accumulating. He wanted to intervene and stop anything fatal, but that the same time he wanted a front row seat as he _wanted_ blood to be shed. He shook, in fear and anticipation, his hands trembling as he watched the princes snorting like wolves.

"It is _your_ fault Loki cannot conceive—!" Thor boomed, throwing his arms out as if he was the victim to the situation trying to gain supporters.

Nuada's face twisted like a demon that crawled straight out of Hel. "My fault?!"

"Asgard and Jötunheimr have bred together far more often than your people have!"

"I am not the buffoon who thinks making him cry and forcing him to his knees will conceive a child! You know nothing of being a man or a carer and it shows in your actions! You are unfit! _Unfit_ -! The Allfather has made it a requirement for you to have a queen because you'd make a lousy king with no one to stand besides you! You are ungrateful, Odinson, arrogant and ungrateful!" Nuada was past the point of political masks and so was Thor. The younger then lashed out in response in the only way he knew how, and so begun a raw battle.

It was almost unreal to Loki. His body froze as he watched Thor throw the first swing, missing by barely an inch. The blow could have been bone breaking, nothing like the sparring at the trials. The sparking emotion was almost fluid in the air, tangible and nerve singeing as Nuada retaliated with a cry. The fury was unrestrained from both men, a collision of tempers let lose now that the falsity had dissolved. They collided like stampeding beasts, arms swinging and chests thumping—it was something Loki had once fantasized, but it was purely terrifying now.

Once the initial surge of power deflated the princes faltered in their throws, blinded by anger, and finally landed their blows with hard thuds and sharp slaps of battle worn flesh. The audience stood to watch whereas Loki thought that they should act to separate them before someone died, but the guards only watched, revelling in sadistic amusement. Thrym was there too, and perhaps it was through his enjoyment they found permission to just stand by.

"BREAK HIS FUCKING NECK—!" Thrym barked, stalking along the sidelines of the crowd as the princes fought. To whom the order was throw at was a mystery, but it riled them both up, swinging their bloody fists. It was like a frenzy, there was no order, no form, no gracefulness to either man that Loki had once secretly admired. They battled like rabid dogs, aiming low and playing dirty. Thor's cheek was split down into his facial hair and Nuada's nose was definitely broken. Their hair, or what was left of it, tangled and matted.

They would kill each other like this.

But no one seemed to care, and Loki wondered why he did. But there was no time for an answer. He saw Thor reach out and the familiar ringing of Mjölnir's call filled the hall.

It was then Loki felt the surge of panic that made him snap and bolt from his spot, his eyes on Nuada.

"No!" he screamed, just as the hammer broke through the large doors of the main hall, ice and stone bursting into the room. The combined noise heightened with voices when the others realised he was heading toward the battle. But he was too fast, and they were too late. He swung his arms in desperation knowing only that Nuada would die if Thor used that weapon.

The princes hadn't yet seen him coming as he aimed for Nuada, planning to knock him off their battle field and away from the hammer. The interruption would be enough to snap Thor from his berserking rage and for the guards to act.

But then Laufey called. Loki heard it over the noise, loud and panicked. _Devastated._ _That_ certainly had to be unreal, but it made Loki falter away and he missed a vital step, putting himself straight into Thor's aim.

Loki was struck by a hit Nuada managed to side step. It was by Thor's fist rather than his hammer, but it was a tiny miracle. He hadn't been paying attention to their moves, he could've met Mjölnir if he had been two seconds too late, it had all happened so fast. The shot landed solidly and he spun and hit the floor a few feet away, his face aflame. Everything swam and up became down, his hearing deafened by the cries from around the room as they erupted into a horrible blare. A large cascade of blue feet and shadows crowded him, blocking his view as he tried to regain his swirling vision.

"Loki!" Nuada called frantically, scrambling up as he tried to get to him, but there was now an army of Jotuns blocking the way. Thor stood in a daze as if he didn't know what just happened, and looked back and forth from his fist to the spaces between the multiple legs of the crowd where Loki sat holding his face, looking equally as dazed.

"Out. Out. Get OUT. Both of you _GET OUT_!" Laufey screamed, pushing past the guards to personally shove the princes towards the door. He grabbed them by their scruffs as if they were dogs, for once exhibiting his own physical strength.

"Until your fathers send a formal apology I don't want to see your faces. Thor you will pay dearly." he promised, and sent them stumbling one last time before turning with a snarl back into the hall. There were a group of guards approaching, promising a more than willing retribution if they didn't comply.

Thor rushed out the structure without being asked twice. The guards called out curses and derogatory insults at his retreating form, no doubt having been held in these past weeks, and aimed their bulk Nuada's way until he finally steadied himself enough to do the same rather than rushing back in to Loki. He pushed away from the palace, limping slightly from a fierce ache in his left knee and horribly bruised ribs.

But it didn't stop him from swiftly locating and attacking Thor from behind.

In the distance the guards stood laughing, watching them continue the brawl in the icy rocks. Thor had no patience left and didn't even seem surprised, striking back and taking full advantage of his damaged knee. Nuada gasped sharply as Thor kicked it from the side, throwing him down onto jutting rocks that tore at his clothing and scraped his back. Thor rose and loomed above him like a night-wraith, his fingers tensing over the handle of Mjölnir to make his intent clear.

Nuada made his by breaking Thor's nose with a loose rock. The Aesir went staggering to the side, screaming in frustration as the bone crunched. He reared back, hammer high at the ready, when the Bifrost opened and he was transported away.

Still on the ground Nuada held his breath for a few painful moments, waiting for either Thor to return, or someone else to come try finish the job. But no one came, so he hurried up to his feet, needing to make it to an official transportation seal as Álfheimr didn't have their own fancy gatekeeper. He wanted more than anything to go back to Loki, just to see what damage that bastard inflicted then see that it was healed, but with his current injuries and the ban placed, he would have to leave.

In the back of his mind he realised there was a strange tug coming from Nuala's side, frazzled and hurt. His heart broke further when he realised she must be surrounded by healers trying to mend her sudden blight. Her health was enough encouragement to turn away from Jötunheimr, if only for the moment.

**XxXx**

Thor's landing onto Heimdall's station was far from his usual swagger. He stumbled like a drunk, his ankle fucked and a few toes broken, not to mention his nose, his cheek and his hair was forming a bird's nest.

"Why'd you do that?!" he shouted, swirling back to the portal's entrance.

"Killing Álfheimr's Crown Prince will do no more good for Asgard than your striking of Jötunheimr's Loki."

"It was an accident! He shouldn't have stepped in! Now take me back!"

"Your father awaits you, Thor. Take your frustrations to him." Heimdall kept his gaze straight over his head, hands clasped over the sword in a protective manner. Thor snorted like a bull and stormed past, in no mood to argue with the Gatekeeper's stubbornness, especially against his father's orders.

He marched into his own palace, frightening the servant hands and guards alike with his appearance. He could imagine what they were thinking, he could imagine them rushing to the windows to see if Jötunheimr had finally declared war even when their prince was trying to prevent it. He could see the foolishness of them _all_.

Odin was indeed waiting for him, as was Frigga, in the main hall where realm matters were usually attended to. Thor seemed to be interrupting something, something not quite important enough as Odin waved them away, immediately hurrying to his side. There was a look of significance on his lined face, of urgency, and Thor knew immediately that he knew what happened.

Frigga was right behind him, her glistening eyes finally dropping the tears that must have been lingering there.

"Oh my boy," she gasped, pulling him into a hug, fussing over his face. Odin stood stiffly behind her, much as Thor did in her arms.

"Tell me what happened."

Thor's eyes, despite being darkened with bloodlust, wavered and darted around as he actively tried to avoid Frigga's gaze, but not knowing how to face his father. He didn't quite want to verbalise it, especially with Frigga looking more and more like she was oblivious to the matter. He shifted awkwardly in her personal space, his hands sticky with blood and still thrumming with a battle lust. It felt strange to hone around her peaceful delicate aura, he almost felt diseased and suspect to infect her.

Unable to handle the mothering he stepped back, holding up a hand to keep her at bay, and finally gave Odin his gaze.

"We had a fight. The prince and I." he said stoically, his tone one that of Odin's.

"Not you and Loki?" Frigga asked, a hand to her stomach in horror.

Thor's gut clenched and the first thing his mind brought up was the memory of Loki screaming beneath him during their last day. It was threatening to spill up his morning's food, but he shook his head at Frigga while he and Odin shared a knowing look over her shoulder. "No. No. Nu-…Nuada and I. Loki is…he isn't—the test…so we fought."

"By the Nine! Well is he _alive_?" Frigga gasped, looking back and forth between her son and husband, their calmness grating her.

"Yes. Heimdall—…yes. Laufey told us not to come back until he gets an apology. But I'm not going back. I won't."

"Oh Thor…" Frigga took him again in her arms, his size far beyond her ability to embrace, but she tried anyway. Her concern was more than welcomed, but the guilt that welled up afterwards poisoned it, and Thor felt sick. Whether his father felt the same was a mystery to him.

"Go to the healers, I will sort this out." That was all Odin had to say on the matter. Thor waited a few moments, wanting to hear confirmation that he wouldn't have to go back, or that it would be okay. Whenever his father 'sorted' something out it did not by any means it would end well for those involved.

Eventually it was the warm and constant pressure on his back from his mother that sent him off. There were a handful of servants waiting outside the door, jumping to aid him.

When he was gone Frigga buried her face in her hands and sighed loudly. Odin gave up his tense stance and turned away from what he knew was coming.

"I had wished… _wished_ that this time you would indeed be right. I had truly wished." She said, muffled behind her fingers before she looked up, suddenly looking aged. "I wished a lot of things, but against my better judgement I left it to fate, and you. And look where _you_ have landed us. They fought! Odin. Will there not be a war now? The Elves don't take kindly to violence."

Odin didn't need to be told. He sighed, feeling an old shame sliver back. The shame of having raised an arrogant hooligan.

"I should have intervened. I should have—oh Odin look at this mess!"

"Please, calm down," he grunted, her shaking voice making his hair stand.

"I can't calm down, Odin! We are far worse now than we started off! Do you think Laufey is going to take kindly to this? He has gambled that poor child of his on this stupid contest and all that has come from it is a newfound feud with Álfheimr! That poor boy, Odin. _Clearly_ he and Thor did not bond, this was a failure. It was always meant to be, I warned you—"

"Frigga enough!" Odin shouted, scowling at her, the floor, the throne, his feet. She shut her mouth and glared at him, blinking more tears down her face. Odin struggled to remain calm, but it was difficult with her yelling out aloud all their problems, making them so much heavier on his shoulders. He was getting too old for this, he should have tamed Thor a long time ago.

"…That poor child, Odin. Do you not think he and Laufey are going to be absolutely furious if Thor does not return?" she stepped closer, her voice calmer now as she wiped away her tears. "He cannot simply choose not to go back. Not on this, then all the effort will be in vain. I would be extremely offended if I were Loki. At the very least he is going to have to apologise."

"The prince would rejoice if Thor does not return. His contempt for us is clear as day." The whispers of Loki being a nasty rude little beast were not farfetched, Odin thought. The rebellious nature of the boy was plain to see as was his attitude, even under his political mask. He would have made a fine ally, but Thor had been the wrong choice to recruit him. Loki was indeed no princess to be wooed or dominated, he was a Jotun, no matter his size.

Odin had made a mistake. But he'd be damned if he admitted it.

"What are we going to do?"

"I will contact Laufey and Balor and appeal for a calm hold on this. Boys will be boys, I am sure they will understand. Loki isn't yet pregnant, frustration is bound to creep on them." But Loki should have been pregnant by now, Odin hadn't predicted this as a possible problem. It just _shouldn't_ be. Had Loki just been pregnant that first time he'd be here now, under their supervision and learning to get along with Thor. It _would_ have all been fine had the boy just did as expected and conceived. It was most certainly frustrating, and thinking it out, _definitely_ suspicious…

Frigga didn't seem placated, but turned on her heel and left the hall with pursed lips. He let her go, turning away as well to head toward his study. He sent away those that came for inquires in favour of doing as he said he would. Laufey would be furious and Balor scandalized, he needed to dowse the fire before it spread. Granted it was a fire he was responsible for, but he wasn't going down for it.

**XxXx**

It had been a very long time since Laufey felt his heart racing, especially in such horror. He shoved his guards out the way as hard as he could, snarling at their uselessness to—at the very least—keep Loki safe. Once the princes were disposed of he hurried back to Loki, and picked him up with a gentleness he'd somewhere forgotten to apply to him.

"Loki?"

"I'm okay..." Loki whispered, honestly more in shock than _okay_. His face throbbed now from Thor's fury and he felt it burn under his fingers, reminding him of the usual burn in his stomach.

Loki was surprised when Laufey lifted him gently, helping him to his feet and growling off their ashamed audience. It was hard to resist leaning into his father's arms, he wanted to curl away and hide forever in the safety offered, but each urge shattered, for this was his father's doing. Where was Nuada? Where was Thor? Was his head still even attached?

"I am sorry, they will kiss your feet for this." Laufey promised, his hands so warm and comforting and suddenly overwhelming. He shouted for Berhuir as he led Loki away from the ruined hall, his guard shadowing them.

"I'm okay." Loki repeated, without feeling. He couldn't stop holding his face, but he was too disorientated to see the shame on Laufey's face. But he had a feeling that his father more upset about their reputation than him.

"I'd like to see what excuse the Allfather will have for Thor, perhaps it is best he declined those years ago, perhaps the fates knew. Come, son."

Loki allowed himself a small hope that finally he would be freed from this nightmare.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Prince Nuada!"

Nuada groaned in response to the frantic guard that stood waiting for him. There was a surprise celebratory team standing by in good hopes that Nuada would have returned any moment with Loki over his shoulder, banners and fairy dust and drinks at the wait for the couple. His disgruntled bloody appearance caused an instant stir among the many happy faces, and the guards rushed forward to aid him, shouting for healers.

"What happened?!" Egill the guard demanded, using his superior height and strength to take most of Nuada's weight as they aimed into the castle.

"Just a fight with Odinson," he grunted, moving as fast as he could. He was grateful for their help but their element of surprise was a horrid find, it meant they did not know anything, including Nuala's condition.

"Prince—"

"Find Nuala! Find her!" he shouted, panicked and angry. It wasn't their faults but they took his temper loyally, helping him to the nearest room with decent seats. Those that weren't helping him scattered to find their princess.

"I take it there will be no heir to dote over?" Egill hinted, helping Nuada lift his damage knee.

"No," Nuada said reluctantly, his heart twisting further at the memory of Loki being hit. That was the last thing he had ever wanted, he wished he hadn't let his anger get the better of him. If he had seen Loki coming he could have—he would have—maybe—…

A young female slipped in the crowd gathered around Nuada, none of who were yet healers, to his chagrin. "The king is in his chambers, he requests your presence, my prince."

Nuada groaned at the thought of moving, but he couldn't expect his father to walk all the way here. The guards eased his trouble by easing him up themselves, spreading the word for the healers to be sent to the king's chamber instead.

They made it there without too much trouble. The king was in his bed, looking frail and terrified, a frightening combination to witness. His bony hands reached out, helpless as he watched through fading sight as Nuada was brought in. They helped him down into a chair pushed closer to the bed for the king's benefit.

"Nuada—Nuada—"

"Father, I'm fine. I'm…fine." He was, his injuries could be healed, it was Loki and Nuala he was panicking about. The moment that followed had the healers dashing in, looking worried.

"Fisonna, Nuala—" he started, but the elderly woman cut him off, taking tools the younger women held.

"She is being tended to. Now sit still, let us see. Sylthal get off his shirt, I can smell it from here."

A short time was spent on healing the damage dealt. King Balor rested against his pillows, frowning and staring off in thought as the women wiped and rubbed at his body. Lady Fisonna's healing was unrivalled in their kingdom, she had an incredible instinct for it. A little magic, salve and herbal tea later and he felt good as new, save for the dull ache in his knee and ribs. The tea would numb it as it sunk it, but it was nothing compared to the broken ribs. Eventually he could breathe without wincing and stood, testing his knee for them just to be sure.

"It seems fine, more than fine, thank you my Lady."

"Foolish child." She retorted, tapping his cheek in a scold. "I thought you would have more sense than to brawl with a bear."

"I couldn't help it." he admitted, rubbing idly at his chest. "Where was Nuala?"

"In her bathing room. She fell and hit her head, from the knee injury I expect. She was still unconscious when they found her."

The guilt must have been clear as day, sprawled messily across his face for she smiled sympathetically, allowing Sylthal to collect their tools. "But she is fine. She's your sister after all, strongest pair of Silverlances there ever was."

Nuada kissed her hands in thanks.

It turned out Balor had fallen asleep during the healing process. Nuada situated himself back on the seat, too troubled to bother doing anything else, and stole his own nap.

He awoke some time later to a warm meal and his sister's concerned face. His father was awake again, and had resumed his disturbing expression. Nuala sat as close as she could, arm linked in his as she urged him to eat, fussing as though she hadn't too experienced his attack.

He explained briefly what had happened up till he came back, earning his father's disapproval.

"You went after him. Twice, Nuada."

Nuada cringed, and Nuala petted his arm. "I know,"

"We cannot afford a quarrel with Asgard!"

"I have tried my best to keep my patience, father. But Thor—"

"You do not triumph an enemy by stooping to his level so that he may beat you with experience," Balor's voice was full of disappointment, so much so it surprised Nuada. The old man made it sound as if he was tired of repeating the line, as if he was always making the wrong choices.

"I thought you were ready for this."

"I _am_. But you don't know what that bastard did. He—" How did he phrase this? How did he phrase that Thor raped Loki barely two days ago and bred him like a common mare, not like the prince he was. How did he phrase that Thor showed no regret, no guilt, and still had the audacity to barge out upon hearing the news as if he had any right to complain that his time with Loki wasn't leading to anything. How did he phrase that Thor Odinson raped Loki Laufeyson, and that he wanted to rip off his head for it and throw it at Odin.

Nuala's presence suddenly felt too close, too deep, too overwhelming. He didn't want to say such things in front of her, he was glad for the control they developed over their link. It still took extreme self control not to let those thoughts seep into hers. But his father was old, he would need clear and direct words to understand.

Nuada sighed, frustrated, and shifted awkwardly besides Nuala who was trying her best to pry out what was bothering him. "Father I am sorry but Thor is completely brash and cruel! He is disrespectful at the worst times and hasn't the least bit of compassion to change his ways. He provoked me."

"I do not want you to fall to war with Asgard." Balor said, softly. His bony face was drawn and now sad as he watched his children. "I will not be able to rest should I die knowing you both and our realm are not safe. I had hoped to avoid this, not court it…"

"…I am sorry." It was his doing, and Nuada felt bad. He was banned from Jötunheimr now until they apologised, and he was sure Odin was throwing a fit. He had brought the chance of war upon his people with Asgard, maybe even with Jötunheimr, for the queen he had hoped to procure. But perhaps it had always been heading this way, perhaps it was what Odin had planned all along. Asgard loved their wars, they won their wars, they were _good_ at wars. Perhaps this was the outcome Odin wanted when he forced his way into the matter. Perhaps…perhaps it would amount to one of the basest outcomes there ever was: the realm to win the war gets the princess. It was so Asgardian and obvious it _hurt_.

"We should send that apology." Nuala piped up, rubbing his arm continuously as the ache in his chest rose.

"To Laufey _and_ Odin." Balor agreed, and lifted his arms. "Quill and parchment, Nuala."

Nuala hurried around the room, collecting the utensils. She sat besides their father and started taking down his words, a job Nuada had always done. It made him feel worse, a failure, and he couldn't help but wonder if he had done something wrong with Loki too. He had tried his best, without being too extravagant too quickly, to bring Loki pleasure and thus bring forth a child. He was certain he had done all the right things, in the mating matter at least. It must have been working too, for Loki relaxed little by little each time they met to pass the hours.

But Loki had revealed his true feelings. Loki did not _want_ him to keep trying. He wanted him gone, he wanted Thor gone. It was a small comfort knowing Loki did not favour Thor over him, he had tried his best for Loki whereas Thor had not. But Loki did not want his efforts. Loki seemed grateful though. Loki certainty gave him more trust and chances to bond with him than he seemed to give Thor. That meant something. Nuada was sure they were getting along, as best as could be expected in the situation, but it was probably too much for Loki.

Asgard ruined everything.

"My king? A letter from Asgard."

Nuada made a high pitched frustrated noise.

Nuala got up to retrieve it from the servant, closing the door after her. She took it back to her father. "Shall I read it?"

"No, let me." He lifted himself unnecessarily to take it from her, gesturing for a candle to aid him. Nuada sat stiffly, awaiting confirmation of a declaration of war, knowing he could not regret it. Loki deserved to be avenged.

An absurd amount of time passed in which Nuada nearly lost his mind, on the edge of his seat and ready to go start the war himself. Nuala stood quietly at the bed, head hung and awaiting news. She too was eager for the news, the suspense was painful, but she did a far better job of hiding it as she didn't have adrenaline still lingering in her veins.

"All is well."

The twins looked up abruptly.

"What?" Nuada asked, rather rudely.

"I said _all is well_." Balor responded, mimicking is tone. Nuada dropped his head in shame and apology.

"…The Allfather is not declaring war?" Nuala asked softly.

Balor put the letter down, it looked extremely long and detailed, Nuada wanted to rise up and grab it. The old king shifted weakly in the bed until Nuala helped him to a better sitting position, patting his back when he started coughing.

"…What would you have me do?" Nuada asked, trying to catch his father's gaze as if he would find the contents of the letter.

"Go and clear your head for a day. Odin and I will meet."

"What?" the twins asked, identical from expression to tone.

"Discard our letter, Nuala. We shall write a new one."

Nuada watched, put out as Balor ignored him in favour of guiding Nuala into writing a new letter which welcomed Odin into their home for a 'meeting'.

"I will be here when Odin arrives." He decided, getting up to indeed go clear his head, but Balor shook his own.

"That will not be necessary. Thor will not be coming, and you needn't be there. Now go, I will have Nuala summon you back when we are out of stormy waters."

It was the most polite dismissal he would get. It still hurt though, drenching him in failure and rising anger. Nuala gave him a helpless smile of apology, of promise to keep him updated, and he took his leave as calmly as he could. He redressed himself, grabbed his sceptre and knew exactly where he would go. The timing was a little out but a visit wouldn't hurt.

**XxXxXx**

Trips to Middle-Earth were usually quick and easy, and this time was no different. Nuada expected to fall off course and get lost simply because he felt like a whirlwind of turmoil, out of control, but he reached his destination without trouble. He landed on his feet, the left over aches in his body numbed by medicine, and swung off the landing site. It was covered in rock and creeping vines of green, tattooed with a newly marked seal. It had been obviously unused for a while, the mortals wouldn't think to keep it clean and sacred as the other realms visited them less and less over the years.

The sky was bright with the blaring sun, clear blue skies that seemed to go on forever. The air was clean but smelt of the distinct flavour of humanity. A taste he honestly did not like, save for the few exceptions he had met. His current conquest, for example.

His arrival was noted, the landing site close to the established city. But by the time the guards came to investigate he was long gone, sailing over their walls and defences. He tried his best to keep to the shadows and corners but there were people everywhere sporting dark skin and darker hair. He stuck out, unintentionally scaring a group of children in the process, and gained quite a bit of attention until he located his destination, now running, dodging two mortal weapons as he made a dramatic show of grabbing the woman, swirling her in his arms until they were face to face. She looked beyond startled, about to scream something, when she saw who her captor was.

"Prince Nuada?"

"My silver queen."

After ordering down her army of loyal protectors, which was very impressive Nuada had to admit, _Daenerys_ scolded him for such an entrance that could have cost him his head, but he kept to himself that he was too fast for her warriors. She looked glad to see him, and took him down to a beautiful site overseeing a large blue sea, her tent welcoming them in a homely manner.

They sat together in the cool shade, smiling coyly at one another until she chose to speak first. "You look weary."

"I feel it. You look well."

"I feel it. What is the occasion?" she asked, even more coyly. He answered so, stretching his arms lightly.

"I just needed to clear my head. All is not quite well in my world."

Dany opened her mouth to inquire, but paused as the tent flap opened and Missandei, her servant, stepped in. She bowed her head for interrupting, but could not help looking curious.  
"Missandei, come. This is Prince Nuada, the one from beyond the moon and stars that I told you about." At this Missandei looked up slowly, her eyes growing wide as she took in their guest. Acknowledgment dawned across her oval face and she tipped her head again, face in awe. "I am honoured." He tipped his in return, something that made her smile wider than must have been normal for her. "My lady."

Giving her blushing servant reprieve Dany looked back at Nuada. "Not yet king?" she asked, a tease in her voice as Missandei poured them a goblet each of wine as elegantly as she could while being swift. She was listening intently, and Nuada wondered how good a servant she was for her queen to share with her such stories of their past and his shared adventures.

"Not yet," he said stiffly, looking off. He didn't feel quite like elaborating each painful detail, he wanted just to pretend he could relax, and to his luck she didn't pester him. Rather, she sat quietly, thanking the beautiful mortal servant for their drinks as she folded one leg over the other, looking far more mature than he remembered her. It had only been a few mortal years, and yet she now had the aura of a queen, not just the robes and words.

"You've changed." He said, smiling wistfully.

"You haven't." Dany retorted, chuckling into her drink.

A heavy beat of wings stole their attention and they all followed it to see one of her dragons soar by the landing, the tent shaking from the force of the wind. They were far larger than the last time he saw them, it was a surprise enough to leave him gawking, and Dany smiling.

The women shared a giggle at his expense. He smiled widely, leaning over as he watched the beast dance across the sky. Loki would have been running out to see it, he thought sadly.

"I am glad they made it this far."

"It wasn't without trouble." She said in the tone a mother would use, but he could hear the dark accent beneath it. He could guess exactly how much trouble she would have had keeping them safe from others, while keeping others safe from them. _Three_ of them, still, he assumed.

"May they keep prospering, my queen." He toasted, then glanced around for the sake of it, "No king?"

"Not yet."

"But many grovelling suitors." Missandei said, shyly, making Dany sighed in mock frustration at the thought.

She and Missandei shared a mischievous look, chuckling over some shared thought. Nuada didn't pry, and instead gave a great sigh as he leaned back into the seat, forcing his limbs to relax. He didn't mean to draw attention but they looked concerned anyway.

"Would you like a bath?" Missandei asked helpfully, already a step out the tent.

"No—"

"Yes he will have one." Dany commanded, "And _if_ there are any willing women—"

"No," Nuada jumped up in his seat, startling them. He swallowed and shook his head, gently wiping away the idea with his palm. "Not this time."

Missandei bowed her head in understanding and left, leaving Dany to give back her attention. She shifted shrewdly, smiling behind her goblet.

"Are you so smitten with this intended you wrote about?" she teased.

"Stressed, more like." He sighed, refilling her goblet and then his. Then he glanced up curiously. "Did you…?"

She glanced to the table nearby stacked with scrolls and parchment where his letter might lay, pursing her lips thoughtfully. "It was an unexpected request, I had almost thought you wrote just because you missed me."

Nuada smiled guiltily as she turned a playful glare to him. She then laughed. "Is she so difficult she leaves you stressed? Does she even deserve such a gift? If you can call it that."

Nuada sighed again, glancing out the flaps of the tent toward the sea. "It's not like that. My intended is…I just wish to bestow a sentimental gift rather than blind jewels that mean nothing. My intents are…mistaken as malevolent, I hope this will show otherwise."

"She doesn't trust you?" she asked, as if it were ludicrous.

"It is…complicated. I will explain it to you properly one day."

"…My men are close to finding it." she said after a disappointed pause, trying to see through the wall he put up. She nodded to the grateful smile he gave her, but gave him a warning look in return. "Just be certain you know what you are doing. Once it's here it's yours. I cannot keep it."

"I understand. Thank you, Daenerys. Thank you." He inclined his head, and she smiled.

The tent door lifted open and Missandei appeared holding towels, two wide eyed women peeking around her. She looked sheepish and frustrated, but it wasn't quite her fault. Nuada's arrival hadn't been as secretive as he hoped. A handsome stranger bathing in their midst meant one thing; a naked wet body. The women looked more than willing, in awe at his foreign appearance, barely contained behind Missandei's faltering calm.

"The bath is ready, your Grace." she said, trying to stand taller in a last attempt to block the women, her cheeks a shade darker. Daenerys just smiled, a giggle pressed down between her lips.

Nuada chuckled despite himself, mainly at the embarrassment on Missandei's face and the women's excited whispering, and got up anyway.

"I will send for more wine," Dany called playfully after them.

**XxXxXxXx**

Things after the princes left were odd, to say the least. Loki was seen to by Berhuir who healed up the swelling and deemed him fine, and was taken back to his room as if he was some prized jewel. It was a little too late for that. His father seemed to be on edge, _guilty_ even, but he had Loki taken to his room and left there, under heavy guard, as if it made it all okay.

It would never be okay.

Loki sat alone for a long while, his fingers tracing the small stubborn bruise on his face. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. He was scared of Thor. If Thor owned him and ever chose to beat him he would suffer greatly, and combining that with rape…Loki was scared.

He started crying again, for the lack of freedom to do anything else, and laid down holding his empty belly. He thanked it for remaining so, he thanked the potion for aiding him so, and he thanked himself for persevering.

His conscious told him it would be better now. Thor's action was caught in public and surely his father could now see for himself what a brute he was trying to marry his son to. He couldn't deny it now, everyone was a witness. Maybe this was good, maybe Thor would never be allowed to come back, and he could be alone again. He was glad that he got to tell Nuada that he wanted him to leave if Thor did because things seemed to be heading in that direction. Thor would be banned, and Nuada would forfeit. His father might not like it but it was the least he could give him to try make up for everything he put him through.

 _But Nuada had fought for him_ , his conscious also whispered. Nuada fought Thor for him. Nuada had said all those things to Thor in front of everyone. He looked so angry, so…genuine. Did Nuada truly _truly_ care for him? Were his intentions pure? Would he truly be a good mate and not a demon in disguise? Did Nuada truly want to care for him? The words he shouted sounded honest, they sounded deep and full of conviction and truth.

Maybe Nuada _had_ truly just come to Jötunheimr to court him and make him queen of Álfheimr.

Maybe Nuada was real?

Maybe it was too late.

Hours of crying later earned Thrym's presence. Loki didn't know how or why and he didn't care, but he sunk into Thrym's chest, squeezing him close as his brother rocked him sweetly, whispering reassurances and encouragements of strength. His bed felt so much more welcoming with Thrym in it, his body warm and large and firm. Grounding. Real.

Later when Loki was spent from sobbing he allowed himself to doze off on Thrym's chest, enjoying the hands petting his flanks and face and holding him close.

"What has Byleistr been saying to you?" Thrym asked eventually, in a whisper as if not to spook Loki.

Loki stared ahead wearily, unsure of what to say. "…Why?"

"He never has small talk. What did he want from you?"

"…Just…just to…do as I should." Loki shrugged against him, wondering what would happen next, and if Byleistr would come with more _advise_.

"…I almost got involved." Thrym admitted. Loki didn't need him to elaborate to know he was talking about the fight.

"I'm glad you didn't. You wouldn't be here now, father would've…he would've punished you."

"I think I am tired of being treated like a child."

Loki smiled softly. "I think he would be glad to hear that."

"Not if it's to stand against him."

Loki's face sobered, and he turned his nose into the crook of Thrym's arm. He smelt like activity and musk, as if he had indeed been part of the scuffle. He also smelt distinctly Jotun, something Loki hadn't realised he grew able to distinguish from the princes. The scent gave him an automatic sense of safety and calm, more so that it was Thrym's. He snuggled closer, clinging to Thrym's side like a flea.

"The people are angry too."

Loki gave in and allowed the news to give him hope, even against his better judgement.

"I think they are going to appeal for father to end this. There have been quite a few important people here, I overheard here and there. Lots of talks and discussions about what to do."

"Really?" This made the hope jump up, and Loki found his sleepiness creeping away.

"Yeah. Father won't hear me, but the people are standing. Soon he won't be able to ignore them."

"I hope so…"

"Loki?"

"Yes?"

"I am sorry for everything you've had to do."

"…It's okay."

A quiet moment passed. Then Thrym grumbled in an exaggerated manner. "Nuada didn't get to break his neck."

Loki giggled sadly into his chest.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Despite the unbelievable outcome of the test, life did go on for the next two days.

After much cursing and brooding around the palace Laufey did receive his letters of apology. They were impersonal and distant, but they were there.

Balor received his visit from Odin. He arrived with only two guards, and Balor allowed him to speak. It was a quiet meeting, only a selected few were aware of its existent, but only the kings knew of its contents.

On Jötunheimr there was more commotion now than ever. Everyone wanted to know what was happening, and if they could, influence in their own opinion. The other realms were writing, sending spies and delegates to find out the juicy news, find out what exactly was going on. Laufey and his court waved around the apologies they got from Asgard and Álfheimr, especially Asgard (they almost did not expect one), but from there Laufey was bombarded with questions that demanded answers. Everyone wanted their solution to be the one he chose, but he no longer knew which solution was best. He was being criticised for letting Thor lay a hand on Loki. He was being criticized (even though it was first support) for allowing this competition with foreigners. He was being questioned, prodded and poked until he threw a Thrym-tantrum, earning his space for a few hours before it started up again.

Loki remained hidden away, hearing nothing about what was to happen. It was frustrating, but even Thrym couldn't find out what was happening because nothing _was_. Everything was in chaos, nothing was settled and Laufey was just about taking a trip to settle things.

The time in his room when Thrym wasn't around gave Loki the chance to think about what _he_ would do. He took his potion, he chose to stick with his own choices, and decided he would fight if he was forced back on Thor. His cheek was healing but his heart wasn't, and he wouldn't leave it vulnerable again. He would not let his father give him away without a chance, and soon he would speak up and tell them all how he felt whether his father liked it or not. The kings themselves were scheduled to arrive, and Loki would voice his own opinion.

"What could be taking them so long." Laufey grumbled. If he had hair Loki was sure it would be grey like Odin's. He had been complaining for a while now about what could possibly stall his meeting. He wanted a verbal apology, and he wanted to settle the matter of what would happen next.

They all stood in the throne room, a large group of sour moods. Thrym was at Loki's side, both dressed as the princes they were. There were scribes and guards and servants at hand waiting to aid and record, as if Loki needed more seals on his imprisonment.

Breakfast had been in a hurry, Loki hadn't bothered to eat anyway, he was too nervous. Odin and Balor would come and complain about the trouble their sons were enduring, and probably demand them to try again. Or perhaps they would come and apologise like his father wanted, then apologise to _him_. Maybe it would be a grand thing, maybe Thor would have to go on his knees, and indeed kiss his feet.

Maybe.

When Odin and Balor finally arrived, together, which was curious, it was apparent they were just as stressed as Laufey was. It felt like the first meeting all over again. Loki stared at them dryly, wishing they would all just explode into dust. Balor looked like he was having trouble on his feet, held up by two small Elven women. Odin looked the same as ever, and Loki wondered if he had been born grey haired. They both had a large group of alert looking guards. Loki recognised Egill, and lowered his eyes when they locked gazes simply because he couldn't yet pull the nasty look from his face. He must be someone of importance to Nuada, or at least a high ranking guard, and he didn't want to personally offend him. The part of Byleistr's advise of gaining friends refused to dissipate, he knew it was a weakness of his, lacking friends.

There were also two elderly women present, one from each realm, he saw, but couldn't the spot the princes. He wondered if Nuada was okay, if Thor had caught him and gotten to beat him with Mjölnir.

"Kings. This took long enough."

They were over the pleasantries it seemed, for Laufey felt entitled to be openly rude.

Odin looked tired and impatient, leaning on Gungnir. "Laufey, as I stated in my letter I am truly saddened and sorry for my son's actions. Loki needn't have suffered. Perhaps this was a bit ambitious of a task to ask of Thor. He is clearly too young to handle such a responsibility as marriage to one he sees as an enemy. A thousand apologies, Laufey."

Laufey huffed, a dozen eyes on him expecting different responses. "Yes, well, Loki is fine. But we do expect direct apologies from the princes as well when they return."

"Actually, I have forbad Thor from returning, Laufey." Odin said, stirring everyone present. Eyes darted around silently, and yet Loki felt the room was loud. He himself did not know how to react, he wanted to jump and laugh and cry all at once.

Laufey raised a slow brow.

"Oh? Then how—"

"I _am_ sorry, Laufey, but this match has been a failure. I had much hope for this unity, but it seems there is too much willing it otherwise." This brought all eyes to Odin, Jotun Aesir and Elf alike, whilst Odin's shrewd eye drifted to Loki, as if he _knew_. Thrym stiffened further besides Loki, as if he knew something he didn't. Loki had hoped Thrym would pass him a sly smiled or nudge to say everything was okay, but Thrym felt cold and hard. Laufey was shifting foot to foot, his current mask finally cracking.

"Loki isn't accepting either of us, and it is causing more adversity than unity. I do not wish to be an enemy to either of you and now our sons are at loggerheads, the future kings. It is not right, they are supposed to be creating peace, not war."

"Then they should have handled this maturely, not battling like Bligesnipe." Laufey argued, becoming increasingly agitated.

"Yes...they should have." Odin said regretfully, but his expression never changed. It was unreadable, remorseless. His shifted _Gungnir_ and sighed. "I am sorry Laufey, but Balor and I need confirmation."

"Confirmation of _what_?"

"That Loki can conceive."

Laufey's features twisted angrily and he threw a hand out in dismissal. "Of course he can." He was angry, he was tired of the humiliation he was sinking them through for these old bastards.

But Loki was panicking. His entire body froze and he stared, wide eyed like prey caught in a corner. No one seemed to notice, not with Laufey prowling.

"He hasn't produced before so you cannot be sure. Please, we need confirmation. We have healers of our own," Odin gestured to the women, "Lady Eir, and Lady Fisonna from Álfheimr. May they and one of your own check Loki together?"

It took Laufey a few moments to decide, whilst Loki silently preyed his father denied them. But he didn't. "Fine." Laufey spat through grit teeth. He had their group shrink into equal numbers, those of most importance following him to the royal healing chamber.

Loki struggled to walk without tripping or running. His heart was beating harder than ever before, and from the looks he got from Thrym he could assume he could hear it. He was sure he would sweat at any moment.

When they _finally_ arrived, thanks to Balor, Berhuir looked surprised, but Laufey was definitely in no mood to beat around the bush.

"We need to recheck Loki."

Berhuir glanced at their company with narrowed eyes, "For a babe, my king?"

"Be still for the healers to check you." Laufey grunted as he pushed Loki impatiently towards the healer.

"For what?" Berhuir repeated a little louder as he took hold of the stiff prince with gentle hands.

Loki prayed. He prayed as hard as he could for this to stop right here. He prayed and hoped for his father to chase the kings away.

But Laufey stood his ground, and looked away with a growl. "Fertility concerns."

He was so fucked.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know anymore fire whoever wrote this siriusly
> 
> Sorry for GoT crossover scene? I couldn't help myself, thought it would be fun to see Nuada on his small trip rather than summarizing it. Should I tag it? Maybe I should


	22. Hope Was Never Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Sorry for the wait, work towards the end of the year is always maniac and its hard to write when exhausted.
> 
> So that statement in my A/N that I postponed on Chapter 14 now comes into effect…
> 
>  **Basically, all the warnings for this chapter. RAPE. Be warned.** I'm sorry.
> 
> Also guys almost 800 kudos goodness thank yooo _OOO_ _ **OUU**_ and im sorry…
> 
>  _I apologise for errors._ And the hurt. Just, very sorry right now.

**Chapter 22: Hope Was Never Real**

For the first time in a long time Loki was legitimately afraid that his lying skills would fail him. He felt like a tiny person among giants, naked with all his secrets and lies wrapped around him as clothing for all to see, waiting to be picked at and torn to pieces. There was no getting out of this, he would either be caught, or be extremely blessed. If the latter, he would need to _make_ a way out of this permanently, it was getting too close.

All eyes were on him, Jotun and foreign alike. If they stared any harder his mask would surely crack and reveal it all. His skin prickled, his stomach twisted, and his heart sunk. He was alone in a room full of bodies.

 _Shouldn't have taken the potion, shouldn't have taken the potion_ , he chanted uselessly to himself, staring wide eyed as the two female healers shared words with the kings and his father. He couldn't hear what was going on outside his chaotic thoughts, nor could he feel the circle Berhuir was rubbing into his back.

"We will be outside then." Laufey said, looking as though he'd rather grab Loki and strap him down on the table himself. Odin and Balor exited first from the doorway, then Laufey followed, shutting the door after them. Loki tried desperately to catch sight of Thrym but failed, and shrunk reluctantly into himself.

A silent moment passed in which the women shared a look with one another, then Berhuir and Loki. The Asgardian woman then looked around the room, and gestured lightly. "Shall we begin?"

"We might as well." Berhuir replied grimly, glancing down suspiciously at the back of Loki's head.

"Before those crusty titans turn to rocks." Fisonna added, despite her own multitude of crow's feet. She took the initiative to walk by towards the table, grabbing Loki's arm on the way and tugging him with her. "Hurry up child, your father is already upset with you."

Loki made a funny noise, wanting to pull away but feeling cornered, and stumbled toward the bed. Fisonna flapped her hands at him to get up onto it, and shot Eir with an order to find her a stool to stand on, being quite short and hunched from age. Both Eir and Berhuir shared a look but commenced working around her. They urged Loki to lie back, still, arms at his side and to be calm.

All Loki wanted to do was hyperventilate and run.

It quickly became obvious that Loki was terrified. Berhuir seemed to smell it, frowning disapprovingly at Loki as he searched his face to find the reason. Gritting his teeth helped to keep his expression schooled, at the very least, but it didn't stop his trembling hands. Eir and Berhuir seemed more concerned than Fisonna appeared to be about Loki's big watery eyes and heaving chest. More than once Berhuir tried to placate Loki despite being worried himself, even Eir looked about to say something despite her word likely to mean little to the Jotun prince.

"Goodness child be still," Fisonna eventually chided, but her tone was soft and had an undertone of concern, petting idly at Loki's forehead as Berhuir explained and performed a quick check to prove Loki's failed results as best he could with Loki's emotions affecting the magic he performed. "He's warm," she interrupted, squinting into the haze of his life-force as her bony hand tapped around his forehead. "I have never heard of a warm-skinned Jotun."

"How warm?" Eir asked, reaching over to feel for herself. Loki's toes curled and his fists clenched, it was just enough to keep him from shedding his anxiety tears.

Then Fisonna placed a hand directly on his belly making him squeak and he hurried to push her hand away. It was so abrupt and almost violent that, considering her age, Berhuir rushed to grab his hands and yank them back, looking as alarmed as Loki. Berhuir was now looking down at him and Loki could tell he knew Loki was hiding something. It was another stone on his grave.

"…We're not here to harm you, prince." Eir said after the shocked pause. Fisonna was squinting accusingly at Loki, but put her hand back, and he could swear she would be able to feel the burn of his belly through his skin. He hadn't known his forehead was hot, but he knew his belly had means to give away his secret.

"There is something off here," Fisonna said loudly, in the casual way elderly people did about embarrassing things, and it made Loki panic all the more.

"Be calm, Loki." Berhuir grunted, holding his arms down as Eir joined the elder woman. There was a rise in foreign magic in the room that made Loki distressed, whereas he would normally be intrigued and eager to study it. Unlike the tests for a child this magic reached over his entire body, seeping beneath his skin where his secrets were.

This was it, his secret would be revealed. His father would no doubt be livid, as well as Odin and Balor. But it had been worth it. They wouldn't bother to try again for a baby, they'd be too angry, wouldn't they? It was a childish spiteful thing to do and they'd declare him unworthy, maybe finally Thor too. Nuada was the only one here with some honour. But it had been worth it, he would be left alone. Their scorn at his disobedience would be worth it. He was used to scorn, he'd have no friends or allies to miss.

As the healers eyes widened at their finds, Loki repeated it: _It was worth it_.

Laufey was at his ends. If he had hair he was sure it would be greyer than Odin's. The gathered guards from all three realms watched nervously as he paced around the room in a frenetic manner, one that was clearly annoying Odin, who was, in Laufey's not-so-humble opinion _too damn calm_. It was as if he had some trick up his sleeve waiting patiently to spring out. Balor just looked upset, and Laufey could agree with it, shifting continuously in his seat and throwing glances towards the private room, his two maids standing quietly at his side.

There was so much unspoken tension in the room that Thrym was almost certain a fight would break out if there was any slip in chivalry. He eyed the guards wearily, making sure their own guard were prepared. His father looked like he was about to burst, and for once Thrym wondered if maybe it would be for the best. His thoughts were with Loki, and he had no hopes for Loki getting any better. This had to stop.

When the doors finally opened again and two female healers reappeared everyone leaned forward. They shut the door behind them, with purpose? It looked so. Balor sat up straighter, straining his eyes in a pathetic desperate manner, but not more pathetic than Laufey that crowded the women, disregarding the way Eir stepped back worriedly from his bulk and the Aesir guards jumped forward. The Elf was frowning at the floor and shaking her head, but her short height made it difficult to initiate eye contact, not to mention her indifference to Laufey's presence.

Laufey turned his narrowed eyes back to Eir and prompted her. "Yes?" He was almost about to shake her, but he lost all mobility when she spoke, her tone regretful, but firm.

"Prince Loki is dry. He is…he is infertile."

Laufey's world stopped.

The entire atmosphere shifted drastically, no one dared speak or move. The shock was audible, blaring away not only their ears but their nerves. "No." he said, as if he knew for sure. The Aesir female lowered her gaze, unable to change their findings simply because he wished it so. Fisonna totted away back to Balor who was mouthing in distress, his words failing. Eir moved too but Laufey stopped her, gaining another step forward from the Asgardian guards.

" _How_?"

She regarded him for a moment, leaning back from his palpable rage. Everyone was tensed but couldn't help listening closely. Thrym dared to move forward should he need to intervene and act like the king he was supposed to become.

"…There are traces of a contraceptive potion, King Laufey. I believe it has roots in Vanaheimr, and possibly Muspelheim, if I'm not mistaken. I believe Loki has been taking it to prevent being made with child. We haven't told him of its consequences."

Balor made an outraged sound, stiffly pushing to his feet before his maids could scramble to aid him. "An infertility potion? How—! This—!"

He wasn't the only one to be upset but he was the only one able to verbalise himself. Thrym's jaw was nearing his feet. The Jotun guards were just as disturbed, _far_ more than the foreigners that were still trying to focus on an impending brawl, uncomprehending of just what this meant. The lengths Loki took were far more shocking to the Jotuns than Asgard or Álfheimr could ever fathom.

As the old Elf king ranted loudly, raising more weapons, Odin looked straight at Laufey with that infuriatingly calm expression, his stance formal. He took one step forward, Gungnir to his right. "...Then the ties for a union no longer stand, Laufey. King Balor and I have agreed to wed Thor and Princess Nuala should something like this be the case. I am sorry. But clearly your son was just as unfit as mine."

Everything from there passed in too fast a blur. Laufey was left to stand in his own thoughts, shell shocked and still as a statue as Odin departed swiftly with his entourage, Eir and the Elven guards urging out their ranting king in fear of the third king. Thrym couldn't find his voice to speak, nor his limbs to move, and it appeared neither could the guards.

"…Did you know?"

Thrym looked at his father. "What—"

"Did. You. _Know_?" Laufey ground out each word slowly, his teeth clenched around them so much so that Thrym felt the bite. He struggled to answer, twice as bamboozled as he tried to fathom what Laufey was suggesting.

" _I asked you a question_!" Laufey shouted, startling Thrym back into motion.

"No I didn't!"

"Pray that is no lie." Laufey spat back curtly as he turned and barged into the healing chamber. Loki was on the bed, Berhuir was leaning over him and speaking softly, and they both jumped when he appeared. Berhuir immediately moved.

"My king—"

" _Leave_." Laufey ordered, the unspoken 'or else' shooting throughout the room like a blade. Loki whimpered and got off the bed to put more space between them, and Laufey found a small compensation at the fear in those wide eyes.

Berhuir tried again to speak to him so Laufey grabbed him and physically shoved him out of the room and into Thrym.

"Go, both of you, make sure those alien pigs are off my land. If they aren't, kill every last one of them."

With that he slammed the door in their faces, and turned to his see not his son, but a traitor.

It had been impossible _not_ to hear Balor's outrage, followed by Laufey's. Loki was feeling hotter than ever, he was almost certain he was going to sweat. He stuck himself as far from his father that the room could allow and braced himself for a few blows, reminding himself that it would be _worth_ it. His heart was near beating out of his chest he was so anxious and he was certain it could be heard judging by the look on his father's face.

A glimpse of Thrym's shocked face was all he got before the door shut, leaving him feeling more alone than ever. ' _Kill every last one of them_?' was his father insane? That was an act of war, what was he thinking? Why would he say that? How was it their fault if he took the potion? Not that he cared, but he hated not understanding.

After a good moment of silence and awaiting a swing, Loki realised there was nothing but shock plastered across his father's face. A blank expression that did not suit the king, an expression of aghast, one so unnerving it made Loki feel sick enough that he wished Laufey would just beat him instead of looking so honestly and truly _appalled_. As if what he had done was his worth nightmare.

Maybe it was.

"...Father?"

"…How could you..." Laufey breathed, looking Loki up and down as if he'd be able to find visual evidence of his deceit. It made Loki shift, but he was unable to hide no matter which way he stood. "…You took a potion? You took a drying potion? After hearing a million times that such interference to our bodies do more harm than good? Why do you think we only stop having young when our bodies _naturally_ stop producing?" He didn't give Loki a chance to reply. "Because trying to dictate otherwise is _dangerous_! ...You are infertile Loki." Loki couldn't help it when inhaled sharply though his nose. "You are barren. You are dry. You killed your worth as a Frostfemme and our chances at a union with Asgard and Álfheimr. Do you realise what you've done? You've disgraced us, Loki. You've disgraced us— _Jötunheimr_ —for all the realms to see. The princes are never going to return, you've shunned them in the most degrading way and it worked. I hope you are happy."

Infertile? That— ...That was not good. That was _not_ a common ailment to Jotuns. He hadn't-this-this wasn't what he expected- _wanted_ , and it wasn't quite a change for the better. Was it? No…infertility was…it was sometimes— _usually_ —incurable. He didn't know how to feel. His father looked hurt, he _actuall_ y looked _hurt_. His voice was barely a whisper, and the way he looked down at him was unsettling, as if he didn't know who he was. Loki started to shake as the gravity of the situation pulled at him, whether it was aided by his own fear, or his father's.

"I..."

"Odin and Balor have severed ties with us concerning a union. They're going to unite Thor with Balor's daughter instead."

Loki slapped a hand to his wrenching gut and he swallowed so not to be sick. "What? No...no she..." _No no no no_ this couldn't happen what was that what _was_ _that_ Thor and Nuala? No Nuala was innocent, it was he who pulled the trick, why punish her? Thor shouldn't be allowed near her ever no never this—

"...I have never been so disappointed." Laufey said, calmly, as if he was past being angry, and it _terrified_ Loki.

He panicked, his blood felt like it was becoming icy to the point of freezing, clashing horribly with his hot skin. He suddenly couldn't inhale enough air, and it didn't look like his father cared. "I w-was afraid! No one cared—! No one would listen! I didn't mean to— ...I didn't..." _Infertile…_

"You are infertile, Loki. Do you realise what this means?" Laufey's voice was like ice, and for once Loki felt its sting, feeling soft and warm and vulnerable.

"I didn't mean for that! I just wanted to avoid getting—"

"And you have, congratulations." Laufey spat, looking at him as if he was nothing. Loki burst into tears.

"It c-can't be permanent...?" he choked, feeling a rising panic at the thought of being forever infertile. He shifted on his feet, at a loss of what to do.

"…Stay." Laufey said, as if he could tell, and barged out of the room. He shut the door with enough force to make Loki's bones jump, leaving Loki to breathe out his panic alone, slumping sideways against the wall.

This was not supposed to happen, all of this, it was all wrong! His father was supposed to curse and rant and smack him around and tell him he is never to leave Jötunheimr. The potion shouldn't have made him infertile, that's why he had to take it every day because it wore off! Right? And his escaping marriage with the princes was _not_ supposed to lead to Thor and Nuala's betrothal. It was all so _wrong_.

When he tried the door it was locked, but he had no desire to scream and shout. He was scared. And suddenly…he wondered if it had been worth it.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"What are we to do?"

"We shouldn't have let them go! They must _pay_!"

"The mess lies with Loki."

"No, Berhuir has lost his touch."

"The great fool!"

"How did Loki get his hands on such a potion, he had to have had an accomplice!"

"King Laufey! What happens now?"

Laufey was bombarded by his court. And brothers, and friends, and numerous other upset Jotuns. He was still reeling, far from being able to think clearly, and his crowd took advantage of it.

"King Laufey, let us not chase after them," an elderly council member suggested, "We never have and never will stoop to begging. We can still make light of this."

"Make light of this?" someone else snorted, "Those bastards came and enjoyed using Prince Loki for a romp and decided to drop out and we must make light of this?"

"Prince Loki is at fault, he ruined—"

"How could no one have known!"

"We should have known, Loki should have been pregnant after the first week. Unless he wasn't properly climaxing, how are we to know?"

"What is Loki's reasoning, my king?"

"His reasoning be damned, this was not the way to go about it!"

Laufey ground his teeth as another argument started, listening half-heartedly to everyone's opinions on the matter. He was still stuck on the fact that _Loki had been playing them with a drying potion_. _And now, he was infertile_.

"Here he is!"

The crowd shifted as Berhuir was brought forward, growling at the accusing touch of his peers. They guided him to Laufey who had yet to say anything. Thrym arrived on Berhuir's tail, moving besides his father with a guarded expression.

"How did this happen under your nose?" someone asked Berhuir in place of Laufey.

The healer looked disgruntled. "I was searching for a child, not a sign of infertility. It's not as simple as seeing one if you cannot see the other. Especially not with foreign influences. I am a healer for us, for _our_ people, I was not expecting to guard against potions from across the realms. I did not think to be suspicious."

"How did Loki get even acquire it?"

"How long as it been in his system?"

"Is it reversible? There is always a chance, not all drying potions are the same."

"Even if it is, what do we do then? Loki is far from pure, and far from marriage material."

"Far from sane as well."

"How dare you!"

Another argument started, this time with Thrym barking down everyone who wanted to put all the blame on Loki. The room was full of bodies shoving at one another and throwing out accusations, but it was getting nowhere. The damage was done and they were all to fault. They knew it, but they were indeed too proud.

"Laufey! What must we do?"

Laufey looked up, finding many eyes on him. He breathed through his nose and slowly, dangerously, moved his eyes to Berhuir.

"…Berhuir, is it permanent?"

The healer hesitated. "…I don't believe so. Loki is young, his body may reset itself with enough encourage. I believe he has been peaking, at the very least, and it might just have kept his womb from burning out entirely. Hopefully it kept his system well enough to be able to…function again."

"What kind of encouragement?" Thrym growled.

One of his uncles grunted. "One problem at a time."

"…Can we blame _them_ for this?" someone asked.

"Unlikely, Loki taking the potion does not benefit them. Other than our shame."

"Then there is no choice but to take the fall. There is no avoiding the talk that will go on."

"I can think of someone a little more important than our reputation," Thrym added, glaring at the councilmen. He was paid little mind, his years of holding onto his childhood had sabotaged the respect he needed to be heard.

"That someone sabotaged and humiliated us all before the Nine Realms. We can still shift the story, it was well known the situation wasn't to everyone's tastes."

"Loki was unhappy and took the potion to escape the dogs, simple explanation."

"Maybe, but it shows incompetence and weakness on our side for allowing it to happen under our noses."

"Loki is well known as a trickster, he fooled us. It is done. The more pressing issue is how we are to deal with it."

Thrym shifted unhappily, Laufey shifted to attention, _needing_ a solution to arise and save his wavering sanity.

"My king, if I may," a sly looking Jotun said, shifting his writing utensils, "Settling the situation sooner rather than dragging it out even for retribution might prove more fruitful to your name. And of course, Loki's."

"Settling?" Laufey repeated dryly.

"We shall handle the talk of Asgard and Álfheimr when it comes, we are no stranger to being left out—"

"A habit I was hoping to break, not _settle_ ," Laufey muttered.

"But for now…we need to fix Loki. If we fix his mess it's a good foundation to move on from. We may never be able to hide this, but we can deal with it properly, at least. Bring back a sense of normality, create a…solid story.."

Thrym was looking back and forth rapidly, hating the expressions both men wore.

"I have been speaking with Helghar, your majesty, and the others that were once in line for Loki's hand. And we've…come up with a plausible and fair solution. It's not ideal, but it will help to neutralise and settle what has happened. Let Asgard and Álfheimr have their union, it is no concern of ours. Our concern is Loki, and keeping our people happy."

Everyone looked intrigued, save for Thrym. Laufey had listened to the proposals put forth by the warriors and their families, but it did not address _who_ ought to take the now _duty_ (instead of honour) of taking Loki was their bride. But if a decision had arisen he was all ears.

"I'm listening."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Storming through the Asgard's palace grounds, Nuada allowed his sister to draw him near like a magnet. Usually they tried to create some distance between one another especially now that they were adults, but when she suddenly cried out for him and pushed through the link her troubles Nuada marched straight through the realms.

His departure from Middle-Earth was abrupt and left his host concerned, but there was no time to be explaining. He couldn't explain anything, it was all so muddled and not at all like he had planned. He almost wished he had never started this whole mess. Maybe he shouldn't have, because now it was two people were to suffer at the hands of Asgard.

It was difficult to travel and stay calm while Nuala let through broken ripples of emotions, sending him mental pictures and echoes of voices that belonged to Odin and their father, and of Thor Odinson.

He didn't think he could get any angrier.

Despite all the additional guards marching about Nuada slipped by them. They were far too busy watching the boarders for signs of Jötunheimr waging war because of the sudden turn of events. The same turn of events that had Nuada swinging his weapon before he realised he had done it.

Whilst the guards were oblivious Thor's friends were not. He rounded a corner and almost walked into them. The woman reacted first, inhaling sharply when she saw him and immediately throwing out her blade as if he had been heading to attack them. He couldn't blame her for the alarming surprise, he knew just what his expression looked like. He defended himself on instinct, meeting her blade and pushing it out. He side-stepped a swing from the blond friend, and heard him grunt in surprise and urgency.

"What is he doing here?!" Volstagg blurted, stumbling out of the way as Sif and Fandral took the lead.

"Why don't you ask him!" Fandral retorted, ducking with Nuada was Sif swung her blade in a wide arc, grunting angrily at the miss.

Nuada spun on the pads of his feet, knocking over Fandral with his sceptre then rolling a decent distance away. There was little reprieve before the dark-headed man was upon him, testing his skills as well as patience.

"I did not come here for you!" Nuada shouted around their spar, exerting far more viciousness than he usual did.

"Well you certainly didn't come in peace," Fandral noted, standing back with Sif and Volstagg. "Did you?"

Nuada didn't bother to answer. He caught the Asgardian— _Vanir_ —with a sharp upper cut and spun him over heavily. He didn't linger as he threw the man to the floor, he was not here for a petty fight, he needed his energies for _Thor_ , and Odin. He dashed away as the three remaining warriors jumped forward to help up their friend, Sif taking to following him again. He didn't _want_ to hurt her, but he would if she got in his way.

Sif's pursuit came to a halt as Nuada nearly collided with another body. He had barely a second to register who it was and twisted to avoid them rather than barrelling in. And he was glad that he did.

It was Queen Frigga.

"Prince Nuada? What are you doing here?" she asked carefully, looking as if she would lash out with a hidden dagger, or possible her magic if his answer was any less than satisfactory. Already their greeting was tense, spurred on by the skidding steps of Sif and the Warrior's Three.

Panting, Nuada held his weapon out to the side, blade toward the marble floors. "I am here for my sister, stand aside." He growled, stalking past her with one last glare at the four warriors.

"Your sister?" Frigga repeated, as if confused, turning to follow him. She waved the Warrior's Three and Sif down as she did so, lifting her skirts so she could keep up. "Prince Nuada!"

"So much for being a match for him," Volstagg threw at Fandral, who smacked him.

"We need to find out what is happening," Sif hissed, watching the Allmother disappear.

Nuada ignored the new tail and continued until he could feel Nuada's phantom pulse speeding behind a set of double doors, then angrily threw it open to find her, and her forsaken company. It was an office, maybe Odin's? He couldn't quite tell. Everybody of consequence was now there, Nuada noted with a quick scan. Odin and Thor, and his father and Nuala. And he'd brought Frigga along, they might as well settle it formerly. His arrival seemed to be unexpected, and judging by the brief look of discomfort from the Aesir royals so was Frigga's.

"Nuada?" King Balor asked, his face quickly twisting unhappily as Nuada abandoned the door step, "You are not to be on Asgard—"

"Is it true?" Nuada barked over his father's voice, and stalked toward to the three men. Thor stepped forward in front of the elder men, as if protecting them, and glared down with an equal hatred. To the far side Nuala sat mute, either forbidden to speak or in no position to defend herself against their higher word. He could tell she wanted to cry, hands stuffed in her lap, fingers pulling nervously on a thread. That wouldn't do, _at all_.

"My son, please—"

" _Is it true_?!" Nuada shouted, now face to face with Thor whose muscles bulged in effort to remain still.

"It is," Odin said, stepping around his son and forcing him to step back. Odin was unhappy, but his face revealed little and he carefully kept from his wife's gaze.

"Nuala will not marry you." Nuada stated, staring up at Thor with unwavering defiance. Thor glared back down at him, saying nothing for once in his life, but the shift in atmosphere was palpable. Nuala sniffed softly in the background, battling both relief and fear, and then there was Frigga. She marched up to Nuada's side, searching Odin's face.

"What? What is this?"

Odin spared a moment to look uncomfortable, apparently Nuada ruined his secrecy. "Balor and I have discussed a future. Jötunheimr is a lost cause. A merger of our people will be none the less fruitful. We have no daughter to offer, but Balor—"

"Marriage?" Frigga repeated, looking back and forth between the men and Nuala.

"Not _even_ when I am _dead_!"

"Nuada—" Balor implored.

"Nuala will _**not**_ marry _you_." Nuada said, pronouncing out each word with significance, straight at Thor. He could skewer Thor right now, Frigga was a space away for him to have room to exert enough power to impale the bastard. But Odin stepped forward further as if his plans were written across his face.

"That is not for you to decide, _Prince_ Nuada." Odin said, gruffly, fingers flexing over Gungnir's length. Nuada finally turned his glare to the Allfather, seeing not the Allfather but a ruthless king. The king the Jotuns saw.

"Odin, why is this the first I am hearing of this?" Frigga growled, placing a hand on his shoulder to force his attention. Nuada laughed coldly besides her, and threw Odin a malicious grin.

"Your son is a brute," he boasted, arms thrown out. The Aesir tensed but had no time to stop him. "He brutally raped Loki on their last day together and now you wish to place him upon my sister?" Nuada laughed again, a hollow malevolent sound, and the room went painfully silent as everyone grew horribly stiff. Thor might have even flinched, but Nuada was too distracted staring down Odin to see. "I think not. While I still draw breath that shall never come to pass. This I swear."

It was hilarious, the expression on Frigga's face. Nuada took a moment to enjoy it after staring down Odin, wanting to push her into her beloved son's arms and rub it in her face what kind of a man he was. Odin's face was twisted furiously now, hand clenching over his staff. Nuala was trying to remain calm as she suffered the backlash of Nuada's hatred, their link far more connected than normal. Nuada could feel her frantic heartbeat, her fear, her new horror on hearing what Thor had done.

Nuada always knew he would scrutinise inside and out the man she married, but Thor did not deserve even a chance. Not after this, not this.

Balor hobbled over to the other side of Thor, the three of them facing Nuada, leaving Nuala shaking to the left, and Frigga fuming to the right. He reached out. "Nuada, this is for the good of Álfheimr—"

"NO, FATHER," Nuada shouted and shrugged off his hand, alarming Thor into a defensive stance. Frigga stepped back slightly, her chin up in caution, gaze flickering to Nuala who had eyes only for her brother, who was at the end of his string. "You will not sacrifice her! Where is your honour! I am the one to make the sacrifices, not her! I will _not_ allow this. _This_!"

"Again, that isn't for you to decide." Odin snapped.

Nuada glowered at them, but turned at the last moment to Nuala, reaching out his hand. "Nuala, come, we are leaving." She sucked in a small gasp of air, eyes filled with hope as she leaned forward, but not quite getting up.

"Nuada!" Balor cried, outraged. He tried to reach out again but Nuada smacked his hand away and marched over to his sister, waving his free hand.

" _Come_ ," he hissed, heart clenching at the watery eyes looking up like they always did when he pulled her from trouble. But today he couldn't reach her in time, and Thor yanked him back roughly by the arm.

"You will obey our fathers—"

Nuada cried out in a blinding rage and with all his might swung his palm, striking Thor across the face. He heard Nuala scream, and he heard cries from Balor and Frigga, then a blinding light, and everything went black.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

What was going to happen?

Loki couldn't stop asking. He asked the walls. He asked the ceiling. He asked the floors. He asked himself.

He never did get an answer, but he couldn't _stop_.

Loki was a wreck, hiding in the corner of his room. His room that was in tatters after being ransacked by the guards. They found his stash, and Laufey ordered for everything to be taken away. His clothes, vials, his books, even the little wooden horse Nuada had carved. He found an odd sense of grief seeing it bundled up with his books and carted away.

The room was bare, empty tables and drawers left open and knocked over. It felt like he was in a graveyard, in a hovel of ruins. He huddled into the wall, hair wild, eyes swollen from crying, his body shaking. If possible he felt _more_ hot, but this was from the stress, he could tell.

Loki was left alone for many hours after being thrown in. His father couldn't look him in the eye, but rather than empower or satisfy him, it just made Loki all the more fearful. The guards were now sneering at him as they did the other princes, looking down at him as if he was diseased. The door closed and didn't open again for the longest time, enough so that Loki was sure one day turned into another. He was terribly hungry, and his stomach was sore and burning again, needing its destructive cocktail.

 _He was infertile_.

Yes, it was a warning that he knew of, but for it to happen was unbelievable. Here all this time he was fretting over the princes impregnating him, forgetting the danger the potion posed. He knew the burning couldn't have been _good_ , but he just hadn't thought that…not this…not…

At some point Loki fell asleep through sheer exhaustion, his mind conjuring nightmares of Nuala coming and blaming him for her fate, Laufey coming and disowning him while unable to look him in the eye, and Berhuir coming and ripping out his useless womb. Berhuir had asked him a couple questions just before Laufey walked in but surely none of it mattered anyway, he was barren. He'd never be able to have a family, even if he wanted one. And after this he would either never be able to leave, or he would be banished as punishment. Either way loneliness would be his next path.

Sleep brought a small dose of escape and rest, but he was awoken too soon, groggy from his crying and being hungry and stiff. He woke to the prodding of hands and voicing, urging him to his feet. He struggled to find his strength, blinking wearily as faces became names, and he shrunk when he saw his father.

The guards yanked him until he was standing on his own two feet, swaying to the side he had been sleeping on. He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his numb shoulder and trying not to let it get to him how unsafe he felt. Surrounded by his father and the palace guards, and yet he felt like he would be beaten to death. Things would never be the same, he had created a monster.

A long moment passed where Laufey ignored him in favour of talking in hushed tones with a few people that came in and out of the room hurriedly. Loki did not recognise them, but he wished he did because he did not like the calculating looks they were aiming at him.

"Drink this." Laufey shoved a goblet under his nose suddenly, holding a second one at the ready. The guards released Loki and he leaned back a little.

Loki looked at the cups nervously, trying to guess if it were poisoned. "…What are they?"

"Fertility potions. They can't do more damage than you've already done." Laufey grumbled, and a guard tapped his arm for him. "Come, drink."

Loki's shoulders dropped a little. He stared at the potions. Yes, he'd seen the warning in the book about infertility, among the list of other manageable outcomes, but he'd been so desperate, what were the chances? Infertility wasn't easily cured, but maybe they caught it early? Maybe they could fix it? He didn't _want_ to be infertile forever, what legacy would he leave behind one day? He hadn't wanted _this_ , just a temporary way out…

Reluctantly Loki took the first goblet and held it in both hands, shoulders hunched and nose down. He sniffed at it before drinking a little. It tasted sweet, unnaturally sweet, making him wince.

"All of it,"

"I'm trying."

Loki forced back the rest, his stomach immediately wrenching as the potion settled coolly in his belly, a strange contrast to the burning he'd grown used to. The taste grew more disgusting with each second, and he coughed unhappily when it was over. A quiet part of him hoped it worked, but the rest of him was in fear of if it did.

"...They're not coming back?" he asked as Laufey gave him the next goblet.

"No." Laufey said, as if he were stuck in some meaningless meeting.

Loki finished his second potion quietly. This one tasted a little sour, but with hints of flavouring from the first. He'd never tasted anything like them, he couldn't place the ingredients.

"Who made these?" he asked, giving back the empty goblet. As he wiped his mouth one of the lower level healers crept in, giving Laufey another small goblet. It felt as if the potions were being made as they spoke, and delivered soon after.

"That is of no consequence." Laufey took the third cup and passed it to Loki, and snorted at his cringe. "Don't start complaining now, I'm sure you're used to taking these."

It was far from the same thing but Loki held his tongue. He downed the third potion, vaguely recognising it over the potent taste already moulded over his tongue. Laufey snatched the cup back as soon as he was done and started shouting out toward the door.

Loki looked up at the guards who had their eyes averted, expressions stony. Laufey's was far worse though, and Loki found himself blubbering out he words before he knew it.

"I'm sorry."

It made Laufey pause, looking down at him like one does when looking at a petulant child. "I'm sure you are." Laufey then grabbed his arm and steered him out.

The corridors were empty, purposely, Loki could tell. He stumbled along with his father, who was talking longer strides on purpose, but suddenly they felt extra wide and Loki's shorter legs didn't seem able to comply.

Around a corner two other healers came up, almost knocking into them, and held out to Laufey a tiny vial. The king took it without a question and paused to give it to Loki.

"Drink."

Loki looked back and forth now, feeling exposed and a creeping hint of dread, but the squeeze on his arm urged him obey. He quickly sniffed it, but Laufey growled and lifted it to his lips. "Stop wasting time, boy."

Whining silently, Loki threw it back, gagging at the foul taste. Laufey ripped the vial away and tossed it at the healers, then shoved them out the way as he dragged Loki away again. It was all so rushed, but Loki caught the look of sadness from the two healers. Or rather pity. It must have been pity, it looked like pity...

Loki was just about to try to find out where the Hel they were going when he felt a spark inside him, and suddenly he was burning again. His heart jumped into his throat and he slapped a trembling hand to belly, fearing he _had_ been poisoned after all, but the burn started at a small simmer and seemed remained so. He focused hard, making sure it was not getting any worse, barely noticing that his face and abdomen was flushing warm, but his limbs were cold, leaving for a most uncomfortable sensation when he stopped fearing the burn.

On top of that, his legs were definitely not keeping up. Loki tripped and the world swayed unnaturally. No amount of blinking cleared it until he was upright, Laufey tugging him forward.

The liquid weighed heavily in my stomach, his body fluctuating in temperature and his head spinning. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his forehead, feeling it damp. "Father...I don't f-feel right..." he said, and fully expected his father to tell him to stick it through because he deserved it. But Laufey said nothing. _Nothing_.

They continued walking and Loki realised again he had no idea where they were going. When he finally looked around to see, he was too disorientated to recognise anything. He felt like he was in a dream where he knew what was happening or where he was, and yet his mind kept locked from his obvious information that would fall into place the moment he awoke.

"Wha's happening?" he slurred, hearing himself in an echo. He must have slowed down for Laufey tugged on his arm again, "Father?"

Only when they were in another room did Laufey finally face him. Loki stumbled when he was released and used the nearest wall for support. His entire body was burning now, not just his belly, and he was sure he was going to vomit. Everything felt bigger than usual, his father, the guards, the doorway, the blocks of stone in the walls. Or maybe he just felt smaller.

"Where are we?" Loki asked, panicked now as he tried to see through the waving world. He must have looked blind, eyes wide and searching but seeing nothing.

"…You are useless now to the princes. Even if they did have affection for you they wouldn't want you now after your sabotage of their attempts." Loki turned his face away at the reminder and groaned, feeling all the guilt he'd developed for Nuada hit him in one go, dancing vigorously with the need to vomit. Suddenly he longed for those gentle hands.

"You're going to remain here," Laufey decreed, staring down at Loki with hard eyes. "and as punishment you will produce twelve children by our finest warriors. One for each night you deceived us all."

Loki's body jolted. He grabbed and clawed at his stomach as he tried not to retch. "No…n-no…" but there was no joke on his father's face, no lax, no mercy, no second warning, no- …no father. "No! No! Father please! Father! _Please—_ "

"They will be become the next generation of leaders for Jötunheimr, and if it comes to it one day they will lead our warriors into—"

"You can't do this!" Loki screamed.

Angrily Laufey grabbed him and jerked him forward, and Loki finally found he in a room covered in furs and chains. His voice disappeared again with a whine.

"If you're lucky Helblindi will still want you as a mate and wed you. You've shamed me Loki, you've scandalised Jötunheimr, and now it's your turn."

No no no no no no this couldn't be happening. This was an old style mating room, one that had been last used in Laufey's father's day, and not since. Towards the middle the floor was covered in soft pelts and furs as bedding, and there were long chains on each four corners on the room depending on where the birther was wanted.

Unable to handle it anymore, Loki turned back, hanging over in his father's stone like arms and vomited onto the floor. He gagged violently and threw up twice more before he started to struggle again to get out the door. But he was weak, he was seeing in doubles again, and Laufey was through with him. Laufey faced him back towards the furs and tossed him onto it. Loki landed and tried to get up as fast as he could but the potions where confusing his senses, left became right and he became a tangled mess of limbs. Laufey leaned over him, his lips pressed into a disgusted line and he shoved Loki over onto his back.

Loki choked on his foul tasting spit and tried to pull his wrist free as Laufey clicked a cuff around it. "F-father! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

There was no mercy in Laufey's eyes. There was _nothing_ in his eyes.

Laufey closed the other chain on his corresponding wrist and allowed Loki enough space to scramble back against the wall, looking like a wild beast forced into a corner. His wet eyes were large with fright, his jaw was chattering and just the clinking of the chain made him jump. It did not _please_ Laufey to see his own child like this, but his betrayal would now forever be a part of Jötunheimr's already shameful history.

"You could have been a queen," Laufey started, locking gazes once last time. "And now you'll be a whore."

Loki choked in a breath, and screamed into his legs.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Why are you fighting me all the time, Frigga? After all these years?"

"All these years you have never pulled something like this!"

"I am not _pulling_ anything."

"Why didn't you speak with me about this?"

"We did not have time for pleasantries, Frigga. I did not think you would fight me on gaining Balor's daughter as our son's bride. She is as fine as any princess we could search for."

"As usual, you miss the point."

Nuala stood silently, trying not to listen as the royal couple of Asgard had a spat. She was trying not to cry, it made her father grumpier, it made Odin huff more and it made Frigga fight with Odin. Not to mention it was difficult to close off the link now, and she knew her sadness was distressing Nuada. But she couldn't help it when her stomach twisted with melancholy and longing to go back home and hide in the comfort of her room.

But she couldn't— _shouldn't_ —be humouring those wishes. She was here on Asgard for duty. For her father. For…for Thor. She ought to focus and be prepared for what was expected of her next. That was what a good princess did. She _ought_ to. …But she still looked across the land toward the Bifrost, and wondered if she would go home again.

"And how do we know it's not a mistake?" Frigga asked loudly, her voice echoing from the office. Nuala bowed her head, leaning against the balcony. She was waiting for Frigga, the queen promised to settle her into her room personally for the night. It was a cold evening for Asgard, not that it affected her, but it made her think of Loki. …And Thor. And what Nuada had said about them. It seemed to be as much as a surprise to her as it was to the queen, and she was glad Frigga was not dismissing it.

"Nuala is your concern now, not Loki. He barely ever was."

"And Laufey just, what, just relented? Odin speak the truth, are we at risk of war?"

Nuala turned slightly in their direction.

"…We are always at risk of—"

"Odin!"

"I have Heimdall keeping an eye on the army and anything concerning the soldiers. If he plans to attack, we will be informed. I am not going to play their games and waste anymore time. Balor has agreed, Loki has denied us, that is all there is to know."

"…Have you had words with Thor?"

"About what?"

"Do not patronise me, Odin."

Nuala turned away, hugging herself. She couldn't hear the rest of the conversation as their voices fell to whispers, but she didn't think she wanted to.

"Nuala."

Nuala turned, and reached out automatically to embrace her father. He hugged her tighter than usual. Their handmaidens were just behind him, looking at her with sympathy that she tried to ignore.

"Why are you still out?"

"I am waiting on the queen. She is speaking with the Allfather."

"They best conclude, you need to rest." He said, fussing over her as if she was a little girl. She smiled weakly, for he knew the position he put her in, and yet he couldn't bring himself to take her out. He was desperate, unnecessarily, but she didn't dare say so.

She rubbed his arms gently. "As do you, father. I'm sure it won't be long now."

"Yes. Goodnight then."

"Goodnight." Nuala kept her smile well set, nodding to the handmaidens as they helped her father off to his designated chamber. When they were out of sight she sighed heavily and turned back, just in time for Frigga to appear. Her face was drawn, but as soon as she saw Nuala she took set a convincing smile on her face.

"Apologies. Shall we?"

Nuala took the arm offered, wishing she could truly enjoy the maternal care offered to her, and let Frigga lead her away. It was all quiet as they went. Nuala tried to take a moment to admire the Asgardian architecture, especially in that of her room. Especially if she would have to see it forever. It kept her eyes drier and her breath calmer. But Frigga wasn't oblivious to the shadow over Nuala, though she struggled to approach the topic.

Eventually when she had done all she could to make the princess feel welcome she sighed and turned in a way that made Nuala sit straighter in waiting. The bed was soft, but it didn't offer the safety of her own.

"…I want you to know that should you join my family, I won't let anyone hurt you."

Not trusting her voice, Nuala dared a smile as best she could and turned her face down, hoping it looked to be in respect and agreement, hands folded in her lap.

Frigga waited a hesitant moment before continuing. "If anything is…if anything is brothering you, or anyone…come to me. It would—…I would like you to do that. Please."

The distinct tone of shame and desperation was unexpected, and clearly reluctant. Nuala saved the queen her shame and nodded surely, keeping her eyes averted. Clearly Thor and his…incident were the topic, but Nuala didn't know how to react. Nuada had not being lying, she could feel it, and it would explain why everything had gone sour with Jötunheimr so suddenly. Nuala knew Thor was a young arrogant man, perhaps a little bias against Jotuns, but she hadn't thought him capable of _rape_. Nuada had not been lying, but perhaps he was lied _to_? Perhaps…maybe he was misled? But something told her—women's intuition?—that it was true. Loki was difficult, Thor was forceful, it only made sense.

And now Frigga was telling her to report any _less-than-decent_ behaviour from Thor toward her, as if she didn't trust her son. Had Thor always been something so horrid and it had never been made public? Or was this something new Thor was doing? Or was this perhaps all just an exaggeration, a misunderstanding, a lie…? Nuala didn't quite know how to respond yet.

Frigga didn't stay to wait.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

This could not be happening. Loki couldn't will himself to believe it, but the longer he lay in the dark against the wall, the more it sunk in. He looked at his cuffed wrists, securely connected to thick chains from the walls, chains his own father had put him in. His magic was hindered, whether by the potions or room or chains he did not know, but he was stuck.

None of this was supposed to happen.

And now, he sat in dread, and near vomited again when the door reopened.

The warriors had come.

The potions had done a wonderful job of rendering him helpless. The burning had stopped but it left him wobbling and unbalanced. It wasn't like the normal burning, this one felt worse, and yet it was supposed to help. He leaned heavily against the wall to keep from swaying, and any fast motion had a double to it.

The door creaked and light flooded in. He automatically tired to back away, but there was nowhere to go, and the chains clinked ominously. He was thoroughly trapped, and two Jotuns stepped in.

"G-get away." he slurred, and tried to make himself as small as possible against the wall. His feet slipped on the furs but he pulled them back, trying to tuck them in as much as possible. He was so vulnerable it hurt, and it would hurt more. His heart was beating its way into his throat making it furthermore difficult to breathe.

"Be calm, Loki," the one said, and Loki knew him to be Hrym, "We will ease you into it."

Loki shook his head stubbornly, risking the dizzy spell that followed, "N-no—"

"Shh," Hrym crooned, kneeling down onto the pelts. "Helblindi tighten the levers," he said, and Loki made a vicious sound. Out of all of the warriors Helblindi wanted him the most, and now he would finally get him.

A loud cranking sound filled the room and the chains suddenly became restricted, stretching Loki's arms out. He gasped and pulled back but his strength was no match for the chains or Helblindi's. He screamed, angrily, and kicked his legs as Hrym crawled towards him. He had no doubt of the wild animal he must have looked like, and screamed louder when his ankles were caught and pulled. He struggled to free his legs but Hrym was much larger than he was, he was one of Jötunheimr's finest after all. Loki didn't know which of them in the trials faced Thor and which faced Nuada, but he wished he were back there before all of this horror, for _this_ felt a lot more permanent a disaster than that with the princes.

"Be calm," Hrym repeated, but only alarmed Loki further as he tore off his clothing.

"Stop! I said _stop_!" Loki screamed, and turned away as Helblindi knelt besides him. Hrym settled between his legs and threw aside Loki's skirt, leaving him painfully bare. Then there were big hands on his thighs and he shuddered.

"You are so soft, child." Hrym murmured, and leaned over to nuzzle Loki's chest. Without hesitation he started licking, and Loki choked on the sensations. It felt a hundred times more intense than usual, and suddenly it was obviously he had been given an aphrodisiac.

It made his back arch, and he moaned involuntarily. The Jotuns tongue was wide and warm, rough and bumpy so that every inch of skin it covered was assaulted with fiery sparks.

"Did the aliens do this for you?" Helblindi asked softly, and reached down to touch his face. Loki turned his face away and clenched his fists as he tried not to react. But when he was licked again he still moaned raggedly through his teeth, and felt the potions simmering in his blood.

"They didn't make you peak did they? That's why they couldn't lay you with child." Hrym said, and started scratching up his thighs.

Loki grit his teeth. He wanted to tell them everything Nuada had done for him, how good he had done it, but he feared they would try to out do him. He pressed his lips together and tried his best to focus on his heartbeat, on the wall, on the air, _anything_

"Good thing too," Helblindi grumbled, "Loki is a gift for Jötunheimr, not the other realms."

"Get away." Loki hissed, and glared up—but his expression cracked completely at the massive cocks exposed. Thor could only dream of having one that big.

Hrym saw his alarm and caressed his jaw, "Don't be afraid, it will not hurt. You are equipped to handle much more than the Aesir. If done right, of course."

Loki shook his head out of his grasp, his eyes filling with tears. No, no, no this wasn't supposed to happen! Where had he miscalculated, these men would still have had to battle for him! Not share him!

Hrym looked at Helblindi, "First?"

"Please," Helblindi gladly took Hrym's place, and Loki took the moment to try scramble back. Helblindi caught the groove beneath his knees and tugged him back. His hands were hard and thick and Loki choked a cry in panic at the sight of his stiff cock.

"I've always wanted you," Helblindi breathed, and leaned over to lick at his face, "So beautiful."

"S-stop-!" Loki squealed as his legs were lifted up and opened, a thick finger probing between his cheeks. It was huge, near that of a cock, he was dry it would hurt—!

"N _Ooh_..." the sound left his lips before he could stop it, and his gut clenched as the finger slid in. His thighs twitched and he started to pant in denial.

Hrym placed a hand over his cock and rubbed it with his stomach, as if comforting him, while easily provoking it to rise. In return his hips responded and he bucked onto the finger where it curled and circled, stimulating every nerve in the area. He was moaning, gods he was moaning and he couldn't stop it.

That's when he realized he was wet, he could feel the slick slide of the finger within him. His concentration only heightened the sensations and he grunted into his arm.

"Don't stall," Loki heard Hrym say and the finger disappeared. He was shifted and took the chance to kick out again desperately.

"I don't want this! Leave me _alone_!" he screamed hysterically. That was what all this was about, the fact that he didn't want what was being pushed on him. And still no one would listen. Maybe...maybe they really didn't have to. Maybe he had been fooling himself. Maybe he was right, hope was non existent.

"Hush, you will find your place. Our king spoilt you too much." Helblindi said as he held apart Loki's wiggling legs, using them to lift his lower body.

Loki's ankles met the giant's shoulders and he bucked away as the thick cock was pressed between his legs.

' _No, no, no, no._ ' this couldn't happen. He had no potion in here, he couldn't defend himself, he couldn't pull away, he couldn't ask for space, he was completely at their mercy. At least with the princes he'd had some form of liberties, but here he was completely incapacitated. And the whole point of this was to coax his fertility back—mate him until he was pregnant.

He'd be pregnant after all.

" _You could have been a queen. And now you'll be a whore_."

Helblindi sunk into him before he could come to terms with everything— _anything_ , and pain flared around his entrance as he stretched. He cried out in fright, the stretch was _far_ wider than he had experienced and he feared splitting. Helblindi grunted and wrapped his hands around his thighs, and watched as Loki's body arched.

Hrym leaned over and started to lick at his chest again and Helblindi gave a thrust. Loki screamed as his inner walls widened and he wrapped his hands around the chains for something to hold. His stared, unable to shut his eyes, and watched Helblindi's face contort in pleasure as he reared back and gently sawed back in, watching the place of connection.

Loki couldn't move. It was too big, it was much too big, squashing his insides and making any movement feeling frighteningly dangerous. He had never felt so fragile in his life, now he knew why Frostfemme were well watched and not given to just any Jotun. His body shook in fright, he barely dared to breathe as slowly the timed thrusts formed and went deeper and deeper, past where Thor or Nuada had gone.

Hrym lacked onto his nipples, reminding him of his presence, and nibbled skilfully, forcing Loki to arch and impale himself further on the invading cock. Loki's breath hitched and he choked to remain calm. Hrym grabbed his cock and started to stroke it, and Loki threw his head back, tears falling down the sides of his hot face.

"There we go," Hrym breathed encouragingly, looking back lewdly as Helblindi started to thrust properly. Helblindi placed Loki's legs around his waist, which were stiff like his body, and leaned forward on his arms to look down at his beautiful face as the mating commenced. Loki panted harshly, staring at the wall behind him.

All he could think about was the probability of becoming pregnant. All he could think about was the twelve children he'd have to bear this way. All he could think about was how stupid he was. All he could think about was where his father stopped seeing him as his child.

Against his will, his body responded quickly with the influence of the potions and his hips twitched up to meet the massive length. He couldn't clench down on it like he would with Nuada, he was already stretched to the brim. Slowly the dangerous feeling inside him fell away as his body accommodated and the uncomfortable stretch disappeared. He was getting slicker by the moment and each suckle on his sensitive nipples made his cock jump.

"No..." he breathed, but his panting was obscene and he actively thrust down for more as if it were Nuada. …Nuada...he would have stopped if he asked

Helblindi suddenly pushed his hands beneath Loki and wrapped them around his back so his hands came up and clamped around his shoulders. He parted his own thick legs to lower himself and leaned over so he pressed down directly onto Loki's body but still had the means to move. The position constricted Loki's movement and every breath could be felt by the other, but it sent a primal spark of desire through Loki at the constriction and his legs fell apart further. The forced invitation was gladly accepted and Helblindi fucked his long awaited desire into Loki until the combination of his thrusts and the friction on Loki's cock forced the smaller the peak.

"Ah, yes, you feel that Loki? That is the highest entryway of a child being conceived…that is a feeling only we can— _ahh fuck_ …can bring you..."

It was nothing like with either Nuada _or_ Thor. All his body could do was throb and squeeze around Helblindi's length, at complete mercy. The compression and his peak signalled the other and Helblindi came loudly and obscenely, planting seed deep. It was not hot like Loki had become used to, he felt little other than pressure rather than temperature, and when Helblindi pulled out it followed. Helblindi was panting in satisfaction, a disgusting sound, and quickly lifted Loki's hips to work against gravity and pressed two fingers into him to stop the seed from running out.

Loki lay limp. He couldn't catch his breath nor could feel his limbs. His eyes fluttered in relief when he was empty once more, and he felt his release drying quickly over his stomach. Then there was movement by his legs, and he lifted his head tiredly to find Hrym settling between his legs. That was when he realised Helblindi had two fingers pressed into him, and groaned when his hips were lifted again and the fingers slipped out.

But more cock filled its place, and Hrym pushed it back into his abused hole, deep and penetrating as some of the seed oozed around his cock. Loki cried a breathless shout at the sensation of being filled so soon and pulled at the chains, but there was nothing he could do as Hrym immediately pumped down into him. There was no need for carefulness and Hrym scratched down his body every few thrusts, forcing him to moan out brazenly. He could hear his voice carrying through the small room and his whole body flushed at the sound, and it spurred Hrym on until his large sac was slapping against Loki's wet cheeks.

Loki couldn't comprehend his thoughts into words anymore, or acknowledge anything on a coherent level, but there was no denying the delicious penetration of his body to such a point. His toes curled and he bared his neck, to which Hrym gladly bit into and marked with dark navy welts. His whole body was rocking as they mated, on and on it an enthusiastic manner. Hrym was panting loudly and littering his body with strong nips and scratches Loki had only ever gotten from Nuada, but Hrym was not afraid to bite hard and scratch deep, and it only made Loki's body respond further. His cock rose quickly after his peak and while sucking a claiming mark onto his neck, Hrym massaged his length in time to his thrusts.

To the side Helblindi watched, his lust rising again, and glanced to the door where two more Jotun approached, ready to wait in line for the small prince.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Pointedly ignoring his visitor, Nuada paced in his Asgard gaol. It had a rather decent chair and surface to rest on, and its barriers were walls of strong magic acting as glass. The other prisoners looked interested in his presence, and envied the prison he was given compared to theirs. But a gaol was a gaol, no matter the gilded bars. They could probably recognise his status by his clothing too, and surely everyone knew about him around all his mess. It was only confirmed by the appearance of his father.

"...Why?" Balor asked, looking tired as he leaned against the safe area around his cell. "Loki is lost to us. He betrayed us. We need Asgard."

Nuada disagreed on the 'We need Asgard' part, but it was the Loki part that he felt compelled to point out first. "Loki was frightened. He was scared, Nuala felt what lies in his heart—"

Balor scoffed and looked away, but Nuada knew it was in shame at Nuala's mention. "He disgraced us all, Nuada. Please, apologize to Thor and Odin and let us move on. For our people."

Nuada veered sharply towards the magical barrier and snarled at his startled father. "Nuala will not marry Thor. He hit Loki, he brutalised him, and you want to put Nuala in that—"

"Thor is not a barbarian. He can see clearly Nuala is a lady. He has much experience with them and I doubt Thor would ruin his reputation by harming Nuala. Loki was not a lady. He wasn't helping matters either. Things happen for greater reasons than we see."

Nuada looked away, frustrated, and rubbed his hands over his face. He wanted to go to Loki, but he also wanted to go to Nuala, especially now that he was imprisoned. He couldn't protect her in here, neither of them, and Odin had incapacitated him before he could cause any fatal damage to Thor. Oh it would be a cold day in Muspelheim before Thor touched his sister. Thor was far too young and immature, and christened with Loki's pain. He couldn't bear the thought, he didn't know how his father could either. But the old man was set, and Nuada struggled to find balance on how to get through to him. His father had always been a great man, when had he fallen?

"…Father, do not give her to Thor. He is not ready to—"

"Then what else must we do? Prince Loki is unfit now to be a queen to us from Jötunheimr, unless you are prepared to wed one of his brothers."

Nuada hissed, but said nothing. His father was not thinking clearly, he was acting as a man desperate. Clearly this was not just about finding Nuada a queen to share his inheritance of Álfheimr with, Balor believed they _needed_ some form of merger, even if it meant as the offering land.

"I am sorry, son. I know you wanted Jötunheimr, I did too. But Prince Loki does not want us. He is lost to us. Please, come make an apology and we can move on."

Nuada stared down at his father for the longest time. He looked more aged than ever, more stressed than ever, more _desperate_ than ever, but Nuada couldn't soften his heart to the old man. "No."

"Nuada, please, for our realm."

"I will not give this my blessing. Nuala will not suffer for my failings. Father if you love her, do not do this."

Balor left with his head low.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Where is he?! Where is my brother!"

More guards rushed to restrain the prince, but without an order yet they could do little else to control him. Thrym twisted angrily, resisting the dozen hands on him trying to keep him calm. But Thrym could not be placated, and fought off as many guards as he could in his search for Loki until Laufey appeared, already looking upset.

"Where is he?!" Thrym demanded, struggling.

"If you don't calm down you will not see him again for a _long_ time. Don't test me on this, Thrym. Your presence around him has done nothing but fuelled his actions! You will see him when I say you can."

"So you're going to keep him locked away like a prisoner? Like an animal?"

"You would too if you understand the gravity of the situation. When you do, I'll know you're ready to be king. Take him to his room, lock the door."

Thrym started another round of fighting as the guards dragged him away, shouting for as long as he could.

Hrímnir, one of the guards, watched the scene in acquiescence. "…King Laufey, might I suggest a guard in the room…for Loki?"

Laufey stared straight ahead, watching Thrym off with an unmoved heart. "…No."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no dont look at me im sorry
> 
> I am genuinely surprised no one called the Loki part. Though big kudos to XxamoremortexX for predicting the Thor/Nuala aspect XDDD


	23. Salvage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> So, lost a few readers, disappointed more and scared the others. Good times
> 
> More **rape** warnings for this chapter. Just a bit. Rest assured it's the last chapter containing it.
> 
>  
> 
> _I apologise for errors._

**Chapter 23: Salvage**

Loki needed air. He needed some water to drink, and air. The air in the room had quickly become stagnant and stifling with all the hot breaths that came and went, and of course the smell of masculine musk and sex. He didn't know exactly how long he'd been in there, but he had a feeling it was two days, judging by the four feedings he had received since being locked up. Along with the food he received more potions, two or three at a time. They made him feel sick, hot then cold, then sick again. It was too much. He promised never to take potions again, even if he was dying.

He was on his knees, leaning over limp as Gunnar rocked his body from behind. He focused on breathing in each lungful the mighty cock forced from his body and drooled onto the furs, which were matted and filthy. They needed to be changed, coated with bodily fluids and at least two small stomach-fills of vomit.

The potions kept his internal temperature higher than it should be, and the almost constant onslaught of mating kept him active, making him drool out the water naturally collected in his body, bringing him back to the need for water. He was becoming dehydrated and the nibble of broth he was forced did not rehydrate him.

And now Gunnar was taking him harshly. Gunnar didn't like him, Loki knew that, and fucked him like Thor did. He did like pulling on his hair though, clutching the strands and using them to pull Loki's body back, tugging him on his cock until he found his own peak. Loki couldn't tell when he was peaking anymore, he was now stuck in a constant flux of climaxes, it didn't even register as pleasure. But he could tell now that he was literally full to the brim with seed, and it seeped out more than it stayed in. His thighs were crusted with it and the pelts were full of crumbled dry seed, but they didn't stop, only forcing more on him.

When Gunnar pulled out Loki allowed himself to sink towards the pelts, and whined softly as his muscles ached.

"Are you done yet?" someone grumbled, and Gunnar got up and grunted something too soft for Loki to hear. His knees were killing him, and his neck was sore from being turned to the right, so he focused all his efforts to tipping his hips to the left so he could lie down on his side. But a pair of strong hands caught him.

"Whoa there, you can sleep just now." It was Gyllir, and he was kind. Loki jumped at the chance for mercy and twisted to keep trying for the floor. "Just me left for today."

"H-hurts." He breathed desperately, but unable to topple over as Gyllir's knees were in the way on either side.

Gyllir caressed his thighs and looked down at him with genuine concern. "What hurts?"

"Knees." Loki pushed his hips a little harder, causing seed to dribble out of him. Gyllir noticed and wiped it away before it could harden, and moved apart his knees and helped Loki settle on his side between them. Loki winced at the relief and swallowed thickly.

"'M thirsty…" he clawed at his throat, and Gyllir leaned over to pet his face. For a Jotun to be thirsty was a sign for alarm.

"Someone will bring you water just now." Gyllir soothed, and Loki shook his head. He needed it now!

Gyllir leaned over and started licking at his throat, in a repetitive manner as if cleaning him. He did it each time before mating and Loki found small comfort in it, purely out of instinct. It didn't last long this time, maybe because he smelt, the room really needed to be cleaned.

A soft kiss burdened his lips as Gyllir turned him on his back and entered him, and he breathed in as the sensation of being filled stole his attention. Breathing during mates was so much easier now with the continuous practice. How much practice had it been? How many days? Was he pregnant? Had he had any babies already? Was Thrym his uncle or his brother?

Their mating lasted short minutes and Gyllir lay him down gently afterwards, and turned him on his side so he wasn't spread eagle. Loki just panted and wondered if they could bring more air too. If the potions weren't doing a good job of incapacitating him the lack or water and air was doing the job. He felt so _tired_ , desperate to sleep. And sleep forever.

Thrym sat on the edge of his bed, poking aimlessly at the food on his plate, balanced in the palm of his hand. Were Loki here he would have made some sarcastic comment about him not eating, it was quite a shocking development. He just wished Loki were here to be proven right. When the guards brought him his food Thrym did not expect the overwhelming feeling of _not feeling hungry_.

" _I haven't been okay, if it's escaped your notice. Unlike some I can't eat when disturbed_." Loki had said, to which Thrym replied: " _Eating heals one is disturbed_."

How wrong he had been. The sight of the food was unappetizing, he couldn't bear to eat and fill his belly whilst Loki was locked away in a cell, beyond his reach, alone and punished. He was far too disturbed to eat, eventually he threw the plate aside, resuming his pacing. He was being kept in the dark, his father was doing things so fast and secretively that it was painfully suspicious. Thrym was getting more panicked by the second, but no amount of calling persuaded the guards to obey him over his father's word. He supposed he couldn't blame them, his father was not one to cross when he was upset. _And_ he was king.

Still, it didn't stop Thrym from trying.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"I guess it's not all bad," Fandral reasoned, tapping his spear hand to hand. "Some would even say it's an improvement."

"It's not an improvement if the Jotuns are going to come knocking down our walls," Sif countered, juggling between her pacing, glaring at Fandral and frowning at Thor. After Thor told them of the new marital arrangements and what had transpired on Jötunheimr his friends valiantly tried to cheer him up, despite being worried. Fandral did it the best way he knew how, focusing on women. Thor hadn't felt even a smidgen of excitement or relief upon hearing he was to wed Nuala. It just made his recent affair with Loki feel incredibly undervalued after what they'd put up with together. Not to mention his last night with Loki was now common knowledge, and he couldn't bear to be in his mother's presence, nor Princess Nuala's. Sif and the boys were doing a good job of avoiding that topic, but it soured his mood, and they didn't dare approach it even to make him feel better.

He didn't deserve it in any case.

"Why would they come here and fight? If Loki did take those potions then it's no one's blame but their own. They tricked _Thor_. So really we should be the ones starting war. Not that I think we should of course. It's all just…it's all just a big…" Volstagg trailed off, waving for words.

"Fuck up," Thor grunted moodily.

"Well if there is war, we have Álfheimr on our side?" Fandral offered.

"We have Álfheimr through Balor, and he is in no position to be leading an army. And the one that could is currently vacating a cell, which I have no doubt he will try to find a way out of." Sif said, folding her arms.

"He was pissed." Fandral recalled with big eyes.

"I didn't _ask_ for his sister," Thor growled, "He came barging in here like that, what did he expect would happen? I thought he was the mature one. I wasn't even provoking him, he got into that cell by his own doings."

"No one is blaming you for that," Sif frowned at him. "But he can't be in there forever. What is going to happen when he gets out? I hate to say this but…Balor isn't going to be around for much longer. Nuada will be king soon, he can take Nuala and leave if he chooses. He could even be the one to declare war. We can all feel it waiting in the wings."

"You know, after hearing how enamoured he is with that Loki, I could bet a few coins on that."

"Let's not, lest you jinx it." Hogun shot disapprovingly at Fandral who held his hands up.

"I'm just saying."

"He could also declare war as king after Nuala's marriage and when Balor is dead." Volstagg added helpfully.

Thor hung his head and groaned.

The group held their tongues for the next moment for Thor's sake, but the silence was interrupted by a guard. "Prince Thor, Heimdall requests your presence."

The group shared varied frowns. Thor sighed and looked up at him as if wished he would just explode into dust, but got up, giving his friends a parting grimace as a smile. "I'll be back. I think."

"We'll be ready if you need us," Sif promised.

For the life of him Thor could not guess why he was being summoned. Heimdall had not forgiven him for his behaviour lately and he wasn't yet ready to ask for forgiveness, he was patient enough to let it blow over instead. But it worried him why Heimdall would call for him all of a sudden. Thor had enough troubles buzzing through his head as it was.

"Heimdall, you've called for me?" Thor greeted when he arrived, having the decency to do so without his arrogance. It seemed to placate the newfound disgruntlement Heimdall had with him, or perhaps at the moment he did not care. He was frowning lightly, already it was odd. "…What is the matter?"

Heimdall remained silent, hands on his sword staring down at Thor though his sight was far away. When he returned, he heaved a sigh.

"Loki is being restrained and bred, Thor."

Thor's eyebrows nearly shot off his face. He stepped forward, shoulders hunching as the message ignited a strange anger in him. "What?!"

"They are feeding him numerous fertility potions in hopes it will undo the damage he did. As punishment Loki will bear a child for each night he sabotaged."

Thor mouthed, out of words. He looked back and forth between the stars and the palace, wishing this was _not_ happening. Heimdall was silent as the words sunk in, watching him diligently.

"Does…does my father now? Does anyone know?"

"No, I have told you only."

"Why?" Thor blurted, but the look on Heimdall's face made him stop and look back towards the stars. He hadn't been the best of people towards Loki, but he got to know him enough to know that Loki would not have agreed to such a thing. He was being _restrained_ , and that was enough to it clear and make Thor's guilt return twice fold. He did what he did for an outcome, an important one, and he put effort into making it endurable for Loki through all his spitting and fighting, but this…this was degradation. He had called Loki a savage, he regretted it even though he didn't say it, and now it was eating him further. Now Loki was being treated like one, all because Loki tried to escape him— _them_.

"Prince Nuada is currently detained. I felt perhaps you were the next best person to inform, don't you think?"

The silent 'aren't you' rang loudly. Thor frowned around as if the platform would provide him answers, but he kept ending back into Heimdall's gaze.

The Gatekeeper thought him the next best thing? Perhaps, but Thor knew the real reason. He was not as dumb as people thought him. Heimdall was offering him a chance to redeem himself. He could have sent the message straight to Odin, and Thor was saddened to admit that he knew his father would brush it aside. He had to go to his father and plead Loki's case. Or try, he was not good at politics, he didn't even know how he would begin.

"I am," he croaked, running worried fingers through his hair as he turned away. "I am."

Heimdall watched him leave with the same expression he wore when he had entered. "Walk carefully your highness. The kings are in dark places at the moment, all of them."

**XxXx**

Frigga was worried. Her husband, Odin, was grim and that was never a good sign, and it usually happened when things weren't going his way. Old King Balor was weakening and needed his servants constantly. Thor was unusually withdrawn since being kicked off Jötunheimr and avoided her presence, and Princess Nuala no longer had a twinkle in her big doe eyes.

It was Nuala that worried Frigga the most. The child looked to be the rock her father leaned on, smiling even when it was dark and giving inspiring hope. But not today. Not anymore. Not since it had been announced she would wed Thor. She went by quietly, obediently, and did as she was told. And without Nuada by her side, she looked lost and deep in troubled thought. It added cracks to Frigga's already broken heart.

"Is there anything I can get you, Nuala?" Frigga asked as they strolled aimlessly through the palace corridors, arms linked. Frigga hadn't the heart to let Nuala sit fretting alone in her room, she wanted to distract her, even if only on the surface. Nuala had an automatic smile for her at the ready. It didn't reach past her cheeks, and she shook her head, her pin straight hair dancing.

"No, my queen, I am quite alright."

Frigga kept her face stony and rubbed Nuala's hand. "I am here for you."

Nuala chuckled under her breath, eyes on their feet. "...That is the same thing we both told Loki, isn't it?"

Frigga stopped, her expression cracking. "…" Frigga was ashamed, she did not know what to say or where to start. She honestly didn't know what to say to make Nuala feel better. The realms were abuzz with the fall out with Jötunheimr and a dozen stories went around about how Thor raped Loki in his frustration at failing to produce, leading to Laufey kicking him out. And that was just the most tame of rumours. When she confronted Thor after Nuada was imprisoned Thor did not deny the most primary fact; he'd raped Loki. But apparently Laufey had pushed him into it. Frigga did not know where to look that day, and she was glad to know Thor had felt the same. He ran from her after that and all she'd seen of him two days later were flashes of his cape as he made sure to escape her path.

But as usual, Nuala was an angel, and shook her head as she petted Frigga's hand back. "It is alright, Allmother. I am more worried about my brother… Nuada is longing to hear word of Loki, it's weighing heavily at the back of my mind."

Frigga smiled weakly, glancing away. "Sounds like he truly cares for the little prince."

"He does. And Loki did like him too. Thor frightened him…but Nuada..." Nuala trailed off, sorting through the emotions she'd reaped off Loki that day in Álfheimr. She remembered almost seeing into a secret he kept but she never would have guessed he'd be sabotaging the mates. She felt a bit responsible for not figuring it out and alerting someone, but after Thor's dark moment she did not blame Loki for his actions. Maybe there truly were things happening behind closed doors, the rape could have been the least bad thing done.

Frigga sighed sadly. "Prince Loki is still just a boy. I am almost not surprised he pulled such a trick. I wouldn't be so angry if it were up to me. He was scared, like you say. I could see it in his eyes. Norns, anyone could..."

"Nuada believes that too." Nuala said. She paused, but when she began again someone rounded a corner at great speed, nearly knocking into them. They yelped in surprise and the person grunted, an all too familiar voice and face.

"Thor," Frigga said, then repeated it slowly. "…Thor."

"Mother! I—" He looked at Nuala then back to Frigga, then back again, then again at Frigga, all the whilst looking as if he had seen a ghost. Seeing as how he had been avoiding them both Frigga smelt a rat and untangled herself from Nuala's hold. She stepped up to her son, resisting the old urge to reach out.

"Thor, what is wrong?"

Thor breathed heavily through his nose, rubbing a hand up and down his face as he shifted foot to foot, looking up at down, turning left to right. Nuala stepped back a little, veering behind Frigga who looked just as concerned.

"Thor, spit it out," If he was here for an apology he was doing a lousy job.

"They're torturing Loki." He blurted out, his hand covering most of his face, muffling his voice. But enough was heard, and Frigga straightened.

"What? How do you know this?"

"Heimdall," Thor said hurried, looking far too panicked for _Thor Odinson_. "He saw this, now, when he gazed. I—we—Loki—they're…they're having him. As…as a broodmare."

Nuala let out a small horrified " _Oh,_ ", turning away as she pushed her fingers against her lips. Frigga's face was frozen, Thor couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, and even jumped back when she grabbed for him.

"Let's find your father," she ordered, fisting a hand in his cape, the other on Nuala's wrist.

Finding Odin did not make her feel any stronger or reassured. One look at Odin and Frigga felt an avalanche of guilt descend upon her. She'd never felt the need to dictate Odin's choices as a king, he usually did well one his own. But the one time she felt she should she abandoned it against her better judgement, and allowed the destruction of an already lonely and out-casted child. She was as much a fool as her husband was.

"Frigga?" Odin was found leaving the throne room, two guards at his stead. His stony face softened when he caught sight of her, and he reached out to her as if he didn't see either Nuala or Thor. "What is wrong?" he looked critically over her for harm, then at Nuala, and finally gave Thor a look that promised words had he fallen into some kind of trouble.

"Odin, we must speak, all of us." Frigga demanded, drawing Nuala to her chest as the princess sniffled. Odin looked worriedly between them, lingering on the sobbing princess. Frigga wouldn't have been shocked if he blamed Thor for the invisible harm, she would have too. Thor shifted awkwardly beside them as if he could tell.

"Balor too?" Odin asked, taking Frigga's hand to squeeze it.

"It's Loki." Frigga blurted, and watched his face go blank. "...They're…Odin…." She couldn't formulate what Thor told her back into words. Nuala made little sobs of distress, and shook her head in denial.

Odin frowned, and glanced at Thor briefly. "What is it and how do you know?"

"Heimdall informed me," Thor said, "I was nearby. They're…they're punishing Loki for his deeds."

"As they should."

"No. No they're…" Thor struggled make himself say it. He started to see Loki beneath him, as if it were yesterday, as if it were now.

"They're raping him." Frigga grit out, tears in her eyes as her thoughts drifted towards Thor's. "As punishment. So that he will bear children as compensation."

As if what she just said wasn't worth his worry Odin's face returned to its hard mask, and he looked away. "What Laufey does to his child is no concern of ours."

"It _is_ our concern when we started this whole debacle."

"We started a union. They started a catastrophe."

Frigga ripped her hand away. "I cannot believe you're going to stand here and not take responsibility—!"

"It is out of our hands! I have no say in this, Frigga."

"Odin, he is a _baby_!"

"…There is nothing I can do."

"He is suffering because three old fools couldn't think further than their own gain! What about the boy? What about him now?"

"If he tricked us, he can trick them. I believe it is time for bed—"

But Frigga was already walking away, pulling Nuala with her. Odin shared a look with a very hesitant Thor.

"I-I'll see them safely to their rooms," he said, and rushed after them. Thor ghosted the women until Frigga put Nuala back inside her room, promising to return, before she walked back, and frowned angrily when she saw Thor hiding behind a pillar. He hurried over to him, looking around for guards and servants in a very non-queen-like manner.

"Thor, we have to do something."

His face contorted. "What of father?"

Frigga widened her eyes in a scary manner, and yet managed to narrow them at the same time as she poked him in the chest. "You tell me you care nothing for Loki?"

Thor's expression softened immediately and he looked away. "I do care, but he caused this for himself—"

"And you had _nothing_ to do with it?" she spat, grabbing his chin when he tried to look away. "I will never forgive you for what you did to that boy—"

Thor's face crumpled. "Mother please, it's not—"

"No, shush. I don't want to hear your version, or your excuses. We've both made mistakes, your father too. Now we need to do something to fix it."

"…I don't…I don't know if—but father—"

"Thor Odinson so _help me_ —!"

Thor jumped and waved her voice down. "Mother!"

" _Thor_!"

"What will you have me do?" he hissed, looking down the corridors. "Convince father to…what? Appeal for Loki's pardon? Why would Laufey even give a moment to hear us? Father wouldn't allow it, he'll say we have nothing to gain. And who's to say Loki wants our help? I mean he…he wouldn't…"

"He wouldn't want _this_. Loki may have fought you and Prince Nuada tooth and nail but—"

Thor frowned as Frigga stopped mid sentence, and looked worried over his shoulder as Frigga stared, eyes far away. He touched her arm lightly as if she'd turned into stone, then jumped when she let out a shaky breath, and blinked towards the prisons.

**XxXx**

Thor had never been more nervous in his life. Facing the Jötunheimr warriors was sport. Facing Nuada was a challenge. Learning to deal the realm was a duty. Bedding a small angry Jotun prince had been a new bizarre experience, but slinking down to the jails to see Nuada this night was not something he wanted to do.

He could have turned around at any point with some made up excuse, but his conscience wouldn't let him.

He glanced around carefully and tried not to look as suspicious as he felt while descending into the bowels of the palace. With each step the grudge he held against Nuada dissipated and he realised just how childish he'd been. He hadn't wanted a union with Jötunheimr as his father and Álfheimr had and it showed in his actions, but Nuada... Nuada had been trying. And he had come in the way of that. Thor found himself siding with the overall gossiping going around the realms: Odin should not have intervened. Others said Laufey shouldn't have accepted, but it was all the same now. And Loki _was_ suffering for it. Yes he had taken the potions, but Thor could admit to himself that had he been a better man, perhaps Loki wouldn't have felt the need to.

After hearing what Heimdall said Thor would have thought he might have been inclined to be much less worried about it, but during their time together Loki hadn't shown the least bit of interest to the Jotun men either. It wasn't as if he had been sabotaging the union because he had his eye on some Jotun man, he just...he just did not want it.

But Odin didn't think the same thing. He didn't think Loki's opinion mattered, all that mattered was that Loki would find his place when told to. But Loki very much had an opinion, and he certainly did not _find his place_. Loki hadn't agreed even with his own father's choices, nor was he one to be tamed. Frigga had been right; Loki wasn't ready. Maybe he never would be. And maybe Thor wasn't ready either, so he hadn't bothered to stop and think that Loki might just need more comfort in the situation than he did... But Loki was Jotun, he was blue and savage and...scared. Frigga had said he was scared, and Thor didn't want to hear it, because then it would be Loki that was the victim…and not him.

His heart was pounding harder in his chest the closer he got. His mother warned him that Nuada might already know of Loki's punishment through the link he shared with Nuala, and Thor wasn't sure if he wanted to face a knowing or an oblivious Nuada.

"My prince!"

Thor jumped a foot, and tried not to look alarmed as a guard rushed towards him. "Yes? What?"

"The Elf prince is being unruly, my lord, he yells for his father."

Well, shit. A knowing Nuada it was. Thor cringed, but gave a clap on the shoulder and a reassuring smile. "I'll see to it. Thank you." The guard bowed and left, and Thor continued on to the cells, where as he dreaded, Nuada was pacing across the front of the cell, looking nothing short of bloodthirsty.

"Let me out of here or I will murder you." was his greeting, and Thor's shoulders slumped sadly. Frigga hadn't given him a straight answer of what he was supposed to be doing here but he had a pretty good idea, and by the looks of it so did Nuada.

"...Nuada—"

"LET ME OUT!" Nuada shouted, and punched his fist into the barrier. Thor jumped back as it sparked and faltered, covered in a smidgen of blood from Nuada's knuckles. The other prisoners were crowding in their cells to watch, probably hoping for a fight.

"I didn't know!" Thor said hurried, "I only just found out! I don't want this for him either."

"Then why isn't your father doing something?" Nuada spat, his nose a hair's length from the barrier. Thor had no doubt he'd be at his throat the second the barrier went down.

"He said it is out of our hands. Loki turned us both down, he lied to our faces, he made us fools before everyone—" This wasn't what he was supposed to be saying, but they tumbled out and he was glad when Nuada cut him off.

"They are going to break him, mind and body. Loki is strong but that will only make their actions stronger. This is a savage punishment laid to rest years ago, Loki will not survive it."

Thor went cold; he was torn between the middle. He was sore over his humiliation and all that uncomfortable effort gone to waste, but this was no longer a contest, and he was no longer ignoring the truth. He threw his hands out helplessly. "Then what do you want me to do? Go to Jötunheimr and ask for them to hand him over?"

"No, unlock this cage so I can do it."

Thor blinked. He frowned, then shifted. "..I can't—"

"Thor please." Nuada said, suddenly calm. It gave Thor the strength to listen. "I will fight you another day for our disagreements but right now Loki is suffering, he needs our help. Let me go to him."

The words stung at Thor's chest, and he winced. "What is your plan? Fight through a hundred Jotuns and steal him away?"

"If I must. Laufey is no father to allow such horrors to befall his child."

"True words but Laufey isn't going to have some sudden change of heart because you wish it so. It's done, it's happened, he has no reason to stop now."

"He will. I will offer marriage to Loki as he is. It's the only offer to which Laufey will let him go. He and my father will have their union, children or not. I can make other arrangements." he added softly, and for the first time in his life begged with his eyes. "Loki is alone, more so now than ever. Nuala felt his pain and in connection so do I. He needs someone. _Let me go to him_."

Thor stared at Nuada for a long time.

"...Then I will help you."

Nuada frowned angrily at him. Thor looked away. "I know what I did was…it was towards a purpose. I didn't mean...If he is infertile then there is no need to do what they're doing. It's the least I can—"

"The very least."

"…the least I can do for him. But…I don't think marriage is the solution. After what we've all done, do you believe Loki will accept that? I know he took to you, we all do but—"

"Perhaps not, but to get him out of there he will have to. If I have all the claims to him then I may release him too should I choose, and then give him freedom. He will accept that if nothing else. … _We_ don't deserve anything else."

"…Let's leave, now."

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Loki was holding on for dear life. He rested his chin on the mound of Vörnir's shoulder, his legs splayed out limp on either side of the giant's body. Large hands around his bottom cheeks were moving him up and down in a sharp rhythm, his feet bouncing. His cock rubbed enticingly on his partner's chest, but he was too spent to get hard again, and watched with blank eyes as Helblindi, Surtr and Baugi fought in the background. He couldn't remember how it started, but the mates were becoming frantic, as if they blamed him for having to share him. The four of them had come in, looking as though they were rushing, and when they couldn't decide who got to take Loki first a fight broke out. Vörnir was the lucky one and quickly took him as the others fought.

Vörnir bit down on his shoulder as he spilt his seed. Loki only grunted, and waited for Vörnir to lay him back before turning on his front. His mouth still tasted like potion from the last feeding and each time he breathed in it made his entrance twitch. Loki forgot what it was like to _not_ be aroused, not stretched open and wet, and wondered if this insanity would actually fix him, and if it would even be worth it.

There was no reprieve for him as Helblindi lifted his hips before Surtr could get to him, shoving Vörnir out of them way. They all wanted to be the one to fix him. They were supposed to take equal turns but it was growing unbalanced, but words turned to incoherent gurgles in his mouth and the most he could do with his hands was hold on.

The only time Loki found himself again was when the potions wore off towards the night. The effects wore off but they did not disappear, and he was no match for the door or the magical seals on it.

It sadly left Loki to the horrible devices of his thoughts.

_Why had he done this to himself?_

He knew what he had done was destructive and dangerous, but he also knew he always had a reason for his actions, and he _wanted_ to trust himself for his choices, even if those actions had landed him in here. In here, being bound and raped by the very men that lusted for him for years.

He had no strength to cry or scream or dread the prospect of waking up with a child in his belly, what would it do? Thor was gone, Nuada was gone, his father hated him and he was most likely pregnant anyway with the amount of mating he'd been through in these short hours. It was over. It felt as if his Thread of Life had been cut and he was held down only by the manacles around his wrists. It was over. He tried to tell himself in the few hours he was alone, curling in an attempt to sleep amidst the ruffled furs, that he'd done what he had for a reason, even if he couldn't remember all the details.

But one thing seemed to haunt him more than the others...Was it still worth it?

Loki wasn't sure.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Sneaking out of Asgard and back into Jötunheimr was far easier than Nuada hoped for. The night guards around the lower area of the palace were lazy and wouldn't have seen a Jotun if it trudged by in its sleep. He was almost sure he'd have to find a way to force open the cell, but Thor was honourable—surprising—but honourable and released him after their deal. The other prisoners moaned their own imprisonment as if it were unfair, and Thor had to distracted the guards to get Nuada out of the dungeons seeing as there was only one path into it. On the way out Nuada grabbed his lance and armour and threw in on as he went to the site they chose to meet.

Thor was suddenly too determined to be faking it, but it didn't matter for he was letting him go, helping him, and that spoke many words. But of course it could be a trick to land him in more trouble with their father's, but with Frigga and Nuala there Nuada doubted they'd let him do such a thing, not whilst Loki was being… Even Thor could understand the seriousness of this. There was hope.

But he could barely think of Loki right now without feeling sick. Loki was too independent and defiant for what his father was asking. When compared to Thor's warrior friend, Sif, it wasn't that much different, but she was lucky Asgard's customs allowed her enough freedom to be as much a warrior as her friends. Being what he was Loki had expectations, and expectations demanded obedience, one thing Loki was not. It all made sense now why Loki hadn't tried to assassinate either him or Thor, he had a quiet back up plan for himself, one that would send them away without causing trouble for himself with his father, as if _they_ were the problem. It was a pity his plan was discovered though, he might have gotten away with it. Now he was suffering.

"The Gatekeeper?" Nuada asked as he landed silently from the balcony above, finding Thor exactly where he'd said he'd be.

"Heimdall will know we are coming. He's the one that told me."

Nuada nodded, and together they hurried through the shadows and to the Bifrost.

As said, Heimdall had been waiting for them.

"Princes. Might I suggest stealth when heading to Prince Loki's area?"

"I'll do it," Nuada said quickly. He was faster and lighter on his feet than Thor, but more importantly he just didn't want to have Thor near Loki. Not even for this. Loki would be distraught enough as it is, the last thing he needed to see was Thor barrelling in.

"I'll cause a distraction," Thor offered, Mjölnir in hand.

"Prince Loki is being kept not too far from the dungeons. He is under guard, but they will not expect a shadow in the night."

"Not if I make enough noise." Thor nodded, and gave Nuada a firm gaze.

Nuada grit his teeth and gave it back, and within moments they were back in the frozen land of Jötunheimr.

Heimdall transported them to one of the further out Bifrost seals. They needed the element of surprise, and just moved faster toward the palace. They said nothing to each other as a heavy awkward silent descended upon them, almost enough to stop them completely. Nuada was almost surprised Thor hadn't yet turned around and tried to kill him.

When the palace came into view they slunk down, slowing to a creep. The palace itself was still rather damaged from old wars and the lack of care to fix it, so there were no real walls to keep people out.

"I'll fly to the south side and get their attention. They won't expect us both so Loki's cage might be unguarded when you get there."

"You will be in trouble for this." Nuada had to say it, he couldn't believe Thor was here out of the goodness of his heart.

"I can handle Jotuns." Thor snorted.

"I meant your father."

Thor sighed, frowning around uncomfortably. "Whatever punishment he could throw at me is nothing compared to Loki's. I helped put him here. …I will help pull him out."

"If you are truly not tricking me—I _will_ kill you if you are—then be prepared to return to Asgard alone. I'll take Loki straight to Álfheimr. And I'll send my men for Nuala shortly after."

The awkward silence returned. Thor looked at him strangely, trying his best to get his eye contact. Nuada refused and let him stew, mapping out which path he would go once Thor left.

"…I didn't want that, just to be clear. I did not ask for Nuala and I would never—"

"Don't." Nuada whipped around, digging his blade into Thor's throat. "…Don't say that."

Thor stood stiffly, blinking down cautiously. "…I _wouldn't_."

"But you _did_!" Nuada hissed, ripping his blade away. "Loki _counts_!"

"You're not any better!" Thor retorted, but his voice held petulance rather than bloodlust. "You cannot tell me that he invited you into his bed with open arms. You did the same things I did! You just—you just _prettied_ it up! We don't believe in that, in Asgard. We face the truth as it is. No tricks. No deception."

Nuada shut his mouth and turned away, squeezing the handle of his sceptre. "Perhaps I did. But I was nothing but sincere."

"If Loki cared about your sincerity he would have endured you without that potion. Whether my frankness or your sincerity Loki—"

"What is your point? Why are you here if you're _still_ going to blame Loki?"

"…I am not blaming him. I'm trying to say that I don't think Loki will be happy to see either of us. So don't expect his gratitude. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to kill us."

Nuada paused. "…And yet you still came?"

"I need to at least try before I can ever sleep well again."

"Very well, just don't feel the need to make an appearance. I'll handle Loki."

"You always did handle him better than I." Thor sighed, and started to swing Mjölnir. "I have something else I need to do here. When you get Loki leave."

"I plan to." Nuada promised, just short of snorting. Whatever trouble Thor would get himself into would be Odin's. Laufey would probably raise Hel when he finds out he took Loki, so Thor and his endeavours couldn't worsen things any more. In fact, Nuada would have to prepare for war once he gets back home.

Thor took off then, and Nuada took a deep breath in preparation, and set out on his own mission.

The broken ledges and rocks were easy to climb over. He was much too silent to be heard by the guards that were on duty, especially after there was a loud bang across the vicinity. The guards on duty were instantly drawn to it, and it took little effort before he was back in the castle. He knew the halls like the back of his hand now, but he didn't know where they were keeping Loki.

Well, he'd just have to find out.

He caught an unsuspecting servant near the storage rooms. The Jotun looked worried already, probably from the escalating noise outside. A couple of well timed kicks sent the unsuspecting servant falling into a room. He hurried it and shut the door after them, swooping in to press his blade to its throat before it could rise.

"Where is Loki?"

The servant babbled and shook his head, "I—I can't-"

"I **will** _disembowel_ you if you don't tell me where he is _right now_!"

The promise in his tone was duly noted and the servant stuttered his answer. Nuada had to take his word for it, and knocked him out before he could try anything or alert the guards.

He slipped back out the room and crouched low as he ran through the shadows. Jötunheimr was horribly dark at night, but there was enough light to aid his Elf eyes. Not even a brush of his feet could be heard as he ran down the endless corridors, down towards what must have been the dungeons. It wasn't though, close but not quite, it appeared to be more like a safe house, and he almost missed the corner to turn into.

He slowed down at the feel of life nearby, tuning in to the small amount of nature magic he'd learnt to use, and followed it. He stopped when he saw two guards, and withdrew his lance. He kept around the corner, and took note of the closed door they were guarding and were they keys were.

Nuada took a deep breath, and proceeded to take them down with as little noise as possible. They didn't even see him coming, he took them by surprise out of the shadows and struck them down without mercy, there were no games to play. He sliced through their throats before they could figure out what was attacking them. They hit the floor heavily, and as if fates were with him the keys clattered towards his boots.

Feeling nervous now he hurried to unlock the door, making a little too much noise with the keys as he did so. He all but forced the heavy door open, glancing around impatiently for traps. But he couldn't stand there for a second longer, for there lay Loki. It had to have been Loki, all he could see from the door were skinny limbs tangled in furs and black hair.

He took in a shuddery gasp and quickly hurried in, but kept enough wits to shut the door and lock it from the inside. The moment it clicked he dropped the keys and his lance with a loud _CLANG_ , and leaned toward the little body breathing softly.

Now that he was here, he couldn't quite make it the rest of the way. His nervousness seized his muscles, fuelled further by every breath he took. Loki's punishment was _real_. It wasn't a nightmare, or a threat, or a joke. It was real. The room's air was thick and rancid with sex and breath. His feet felt like logs when he tried to move them, his hands shaking.

What would Loki think of him? Thor was right. Loki wouldn't want to see him, he'd blame him. Loki hadn't wanted his affections or protection but he'd failed him anyway, he failed to keep him safe, regardless of their relationship status. All his words and efforts were for nothing now, Loki was beyond brutalised and he'd never look at a man the same way again. Nuada was rescuing a child here, not a bride.

The matter of time was the only thing that gave him a push and he climbed onto the bedding, and took a good look over Loki. He looked like he was in once piece, no broken bones or bloody gashes, but he was covered in Jotun claiming marks, and Nuada didn't have the strength yet to check between his legs. Loki lay on his side, his face peaceful in sleep, even in the aftermath. His arms were curled under his chin and his knees were pulled up to line with his waist, where random ends of furs weaved in and out.

Nuada grit his teeth to hold back the tears and lowered himself to his calves, and slipped his hands beneath Loki. His hands were shaking so hard that by the time he had Loki in his arms Loki was awake, and looking up with mild interest. His beautiful lips were chapped and his skin was hot. It was wrong, and Nuada looked around for water, surely they'd allow him that, but there was nothing, and everything was dry and hot, made unnaturally so by the magic buzzing in the walls.

"Nuada..." Loki breathed, his voice nothing but a whisper. He wriggled in Nuada's arms and looked up at him with a growing smile. It was fond and just the type of smile Nuada always wished he'd receive, but Loki's eyes were far away and he chuckled dryly as if a joke past. Outside there was another loud crash in the distance, but Loki didn't seem to hear it.

"Shh my love, save your strength." Nuada said gently, and held him close to his chest. He petted Loki's greasy hair back and feathered kisses along his hair line, but his tears over flowed and dropped into the black strands with a shaky gasp. This was his fault.

Loki hummed softly, and let this Nuada hold him. It was nice for once to be held without being taunted or judged or hurt. He watched Nuada cry. He wanted to sit up and wipe those tears away and tell him that kings didn't cry, but he was tired and much too comfortable against the chest. He even smelt like him. This beat the breeding any day.

"I'm so sorry, Loki."

It felt as if Loki would fall apart at any second. Nuada obsessively kept readjusting his grip, trying to keep together the pieces as his sobs escaped. Loki didn't seem to mind and stared up at him with too much content than was natural for him. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm going to take you away, where it's safe…" Then Loki's brows creased and he lifted his hands to touch Nuada's neck, and grip at his clothing. When an ice blade (not that Loki could even create one at this moment) did not pierce his throat, Nuada shuddered and suck in another breath, thumbing Loki's cheek. "...I'm sorry. I should've...should've...I couldn't...I didn't know..."

Loki was unconscious again before he could manage a coherent reply. Nuada struggled to contain his breathing and rocked Loki until a loud bang startled him into alarm.

From the other side of the door was Laufey's voice, accompanied by another angry bang on the door. "Nuada! What are you doing in there! Open this damn door!"

Nuada's face went blank, then hard. How _dare_ Laufey come near Loki? If he had no chance of rescuing Loki and escaping, he'd settle for slitting Laufey's throat.

On second thought, that would be his back up plan. If he's going down, Laufey would join him.

With a tender look at Loki Nuada pressed him back down into the bedding and stood, wiping his face dry and marching up to the door.

"Not until you agree." he called, bending to pick up his sceptre and the keys.

"To _what_?" Laufey asked incredulously.

"To give me, sir, what is rightfully mine."

No, he had no rights to Loki. He couldn't even imagine the look Loki would give him had he heard this. But right now it mattered what Laufey heard.

There was a pause. " _Excuse me_?"

"I've come out of my own to ask for Loki's hand. I have the right without my father."

"Why? Loki has destroyed himself."

"The only one destroying him is _you_." Nuada was seething. His hair was sure to fall out, and he waved his lance distractedly as he started to pace. "I will not let this pointless destruction continue. You will give him to me or I will take him."

Laufey was quiet, then answered in a growl. "He is my son. _Mine_."

"I offer a full match." Nuada called loudly, over Laufey's voice. "Full advantages and no catches. I come out of my own, all I require is Loki himself. You'd be foolish to turn down this offer over someone so broken. Surely you can gain more from the union than you would by ruining him in here?" There was nothing for Laufey to turn down. It was a harsh thought but his father would soon die, and Nuada would be king, so he couldn't waste time trying to make his father happy when he would die soon anyway. Loki had many years to go, he needed a chance at life, Balor had come to his time.

"You think he'll mate willing with you for saving him?" Laufey scoffed. Nuada didn't blame him, but that was not his intention. Thor had brought up a good point and he would not forget it. He just hoped Loki would accept his help if nothing else.

"…No, I think I can still salvage what is left of him. I've no interest in finding if your potions have worked, I just want to give him refuge."

"Loki disobeyed me. He—" Laufey didn't sound livid or intolerant, he just sounded like he wanted to be difficult. He was a prideful king, no better than Odin.

"I repeat, I offer a normal union. For you it will be as if Loki never delayed and Álfheimr won."

Then Laufey was quiet again, and Nuada prayed to the Norns for his co operation. Loki hadn't moved a muscle and were it not for his shallow breath Nuada might have feared him dead.

"...And your father?" Laufey asked softly. Nuada's ears were sharp and he caught it.

"He cannot say no. He believes Álfheimr needs this so he will relent, provided you fulfil your sides of the merger." It was then silent, and Nuada gripped his lance should Laufey and his guards force their way in. "…I am soon to be king, Laufey, it is _my_ word you should heed at this moment."

"Will Asgard still unite with you?"

"No. Not if I can stop it." Nuada smirked bitterly, staring blankly at the wall. He thought about his sister, and it made him even more determined to make it out of here. For her sake, and for Loki's.

"Is that so?"

"Thor is unfit to be a husband, my sister should not suffer that." he spat honestly.

Laufey growled. "And yet you bring him here to cause trouble? I was told by Odin him that he was forbidden to return."

"He came of his own will for his own desires, I am here for Loki. Unless you wish to be my first target as king I suggest you comply. I am the one here with more to lose thanks to my sentimentality."

"So you can take Loki and poison him again me?"

"You've done that all on your own. This is madness, futile. He may never bear, so let me take him like I came here for! _You_ let Asgard in! When you should have turned them away. Loki's pride and honour would still be spotless now. I will repair what I can and we can pretend this never happened."

Only a selfish man would have agreed to such a selfish claim.

"…You swear that you accept Loki as he is?" Laufey suddenly asked, stressing the last three words. There was a loud ruckus of commotion from what must have been the guards but Laufey quickly shut them down.

"I do." Nuada said calmly, and stared at the door.

"Barren, pregnant, or fertile?"

"I do."

"...So be it. I want a formal union, in writing."

Nuada's heart leapt in his chest, but only when he was safe on Álfheimr would he relax and rejoice. "We will discuss the technicalities later, I wish to leave."

With that he hurriedly scooped up Loki. There was no sight of clothing for the naked prince so he hastily made do with one of the furs to wrap around his body. Loki didn't seem to be ready to wake again any time soon, lolling limply. Then, glancing at the door with eyes ablaze, he held Loki close and without jostling him too much shoved the right key into in the keyhole. He turned it and it clicked open, and he used his food to swing it inwards.

His welcome was a dozen angry faces, Laufey's the most prominent. The stony gazes that wandered over Loki made Nuada tighten his grip and he looked pointed at Laufey. The king glowered.

"I do not appreciate you slipping into our home uninvited, but I will let it slide under the conditions of your _marriage_." Laufey sneered, as if what he had done was any better. Nuada kept himself composed, despite his racing heart.

Laufey continued. "He is going to be affected by the potions for a couple of days to come. He is going to be delusional and aroused, you'd best see to it or his internal heat fluctuations will kill him."

"I'll see to it." Nuada muttered sourly, but fully intended to do so. "Please escort us out?" It was sickeningly calm and false, but Laufey seemed to desire the value of the union just a little more than ripping Loki from his arms and killing him.

The guards looked less thrilled than Laufey did but Laufey waved them back. Nuada accepted the sign to move and wasted not a second in leaving. His body was excruciating tense the entire way—this was a flimsy plan, of course. Laufey could change his mind at any moment, or any of the Jotuns designated to impregnate Loki could barrel in to rid him off he face of the realms. He was good, but he couldn't fight off hundreds of Jotuns and carry Loki off to safety at the same time.

But then someone blocked his path, and he prayed.

"What is this?" It was Thrym, out of breath and looking alarmed.

"Now how did you get out?!" Laufey growled, too close for Nuada's comfort.

"Nuada?" Thrym growled down at him, but the contorted lines on his face disappeared as he looked further down into the bundle to Loki. He ghosted a hand over his brother's form, his large fingers shaking. Nuada held his breath, praying Thrym wasn't pissed at him, praying no one stabbed him from behind, praying Thor would fly in and distract them so he could just leave already.

Then Thrym made a strangled noise, shifting his weight in a threatening manner as he held a hand to his mouth, wiping his nose. He could smell what Loki had been through, the scent covered the blanket with horrid determination. And if that wasn't enough, Thrym looked around as if he saw for the first time where they were.

" _This_ is what you did?" Thrym asked Laufey, stepping back in shock. "This? This—you…" He gestured around wildly, his voice cracking to the welcome of tears. He pointed at Loki too, scrubbing a hand down his face as he started to chant the painful word _**no**_

"Thrym we will discuss this, calm down."

If anything Thrym grew more and more upset. Nuada moved aside silently, like wide-eyed prey caught in a corner, until he was backing into a wall, and Thrym was being surrounded by guards.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" He roared, exploding into Laufey's direction. The guards just managed to block him before he reached his father, a whole six of them. Thrym was running on emotion, and emotion could do extraordinary things.

Laufey looked utterly shocked, stumbling back from his enraged son.

Slipping further away from the brawl Nuada thanked Thrym for his distract and turned to leave, only to nearly be knocked over by more guards.

"King Laufey! Thor is trying to steal the Casket!"

What followed could only be described as chaos. The hallway, while large to accommodate Jotuns, became far too crowded and dangerous. Thrym had killed two guards in the blink of an eye and he was still screaming at his father. Everyone was shouting and pulling. Were it not for the necessity to contain Thrym Nuada might not have made it out at all. There was so much anger, he would surely have been targeted were Laufey's life not threatened.

So he slipped away and ran for their lives.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**


	24. Safe or Siege

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else watch Agents of Shield
> 
> Does anyone else ship Fitz and Mack
> 
> Does anyone else jsfsdhfsdhfjhdjfh
> 
> _I apologise for errors._

**Chapter 24: Safe or Siege**

When Nuada arrived back on Álfheimr he realised he had never been more grateful in is entire life for the servants' constant presence and quick service. Loki's weight was no burden but the present servants came rushing forward anyway as he hurried into the castle, shouting down the corridors for more help.

"My prince! What has happened?!" Their incoming must have made things clear or the servants might have stood aside blushing, thinking their prince had stolen away his new lover in the dead of night. But Loki was unnaturally limp, their huddle lacking the sweet aura of a couple in harmony. There was a brief fear that Loki had died, but had that been the case Nuada was certain his own heart would have given out.

"Ari, please, wake Fisonna and the mages, have them at my chambers immediately." he said, keeping up his stride. Ari bowed and disappeared off, so Nuada looked to the next servant that was rushing besides him. "Water, please, fresh water, and Alais's soup."

"Right away, my lord." the servant hurried off too, leaving Nuada with a small entourage of servants who were confused and worried. They opened whatever doors were in his way and removed all obstacles until they were barging into his room. He headed straight for the bed, but the servants stopped him.

"My prince, we should remove those, they smell."

Nuada looked down at Loki, having forgotten about the rancid furs. He was sure he stunk himself now. He nodded his agreement. They asked no questions about it and carefully pulled out the furs from around Loki. Nuada adjusted his grip as they worked, refusing to put him down on the floor. Then Loki was naked and Nuada cradled him back to his chest, still finding no signs of rousing despite the movements. He grew more worried if possible, and felt the healers weren't coming fast enough.

One servant carried off the furs in disgust and the other patted out an area on the bed to which Nuada gladly lay Loki down. There was a knock at the door that made Nuada breathe in tight relief, and a servant rushed to let in the healers. It was Fisonna and Sythal. They had equipment in their hands and already looking alert, Nuada made a note to reward them all for their generous and swift aid.

"Please," he said, and stood back for them to crowd Loki.

"My dear boy, I thought Jötunheimr rejected us." Sythal woman said, feeling Loki's face. "He is hot."

"Much too hot for a Jotun," Nuada agreed, then looked at the servants. "Where are the mages?"

"Th-they'll be here soon my prince!"

"There is magic in him," Fisonna said, running her hands up the lengths of Loki's arms, then over his chest.

"They drugged him with fertility potions." Nuada said sadly, and watched as a servant brought in a bucket of water and clothes. Fisonna ordered for the servant to add a few vials of herbs to the water.

"The rumours that travel are never accurate, which version is true? Is he naturally barren, or did he really...?"

"There is no time to be asking questions now." Fisonna scolded the other, but Nuada answered anyway. He _wanted_ it to be known Loki was not to blame.

"Loki made a mistake out of desperation." he muttered shortly.

The woman bowed her head and asked no more, and started to wipe Loki's body clean. Nuada couldn't relax enough to sit down in one spot, he was still full of adrenaline, so he paced around the bed and watched Loki as if looking away would cause him to fade and die. As the panic subsided it left his veins burning, sparking fires that threatened to burn back into rage.

The cloths used didn't even have to be wrung out until damp rather than dripping, Loki's skin hadn't the power to affect the water. They worked quickly but deftly with hands that have seen to such things, and worse, before. The other servants hovered, waiting for orders, and finally the mages arrived. Nuada sighed gladly and met them halfway to the door. It was a man and a woman.

"Arandron, Yaereene, I need cooling crystals." he said immediately, but their gazes were over his shoulder.

"What has happened?" Arandron asked.

"I will explain, first help me. I'll need many, for the bed and many for the bath."

"Of course, my lord." They hurried off to obey and Nuada went back to Loki's side where Sylthal and Fisonna were working.

"Is there any damage? Any bones broken?" he asked warily. It was quite enough what Loki had just endured, but broken bones and internal bleeding would have sent Nuada right back to Jötunheimr to get comeuppance. He was back to being angry now and he wanted to up and leave, charge through Jötunheimr much like Thor would.

"No, he is well." Sylthal said quickly, pressing against his ribs as proof, "He is fine physically. Just a bit warm but that is the potions trying to encourage fertility. He is a little dehydrated too."

"What about the—..." Nuada grit his teeth, jaw flexing, and gazed down Loki's body. Sylthal and Fisonna shared a look.

"We're still getting there, dear." Fisonna, said, scrubbing Loki's calves.

"Can I help in any way?" he asked, and gladly took the cloth offered.

"Do his feet for us." Fisonna suggested, and Nuada hurried down the bed to do so. Only Fisonna would dare making a prince scrub another's feet, she had always been a refreshing person to be around. It helped to sooth his rage was he took Loki's feet into his hands, being careful as if his every bone was broken. But soothing the rage just made the guilt and panic return, and he couldn't decide which emotion he'd rather suffer.

All that was left to clean was the area between Loki's legs, and a report could be given. The water in the bucket was becoming blotched and grey with various filth and the servants replaced it quickly.

"We need to turn him over." Fisonna said, and Nuada took Fisonna place for this. His hands shook lightly but he helped to roll Loki over, and turned his face so he could keep breathing. They looked carefully over Loki's back but it was fine. There were scratches and bites present but none were call for alarm, it was just how Jotuns mated. The thought made Nuada livid all over again, at himself and those bastards. It must have been apparent for Fisonna loudly shooed him out the way to examine Loki.

The younger servants turned their backs and Nuada felt the need to do it too, but settled for watching Loki's face. Fisonna squinted in the light just a little too dim for her aged eyes and felt with her trained fingers. She held her other hand over his lower back and invoked her magic to access what she couldn't reach, and eventually made a small sad noise and started cleaning again. Sylthal took the motion to continue and helped, looking over Loki with pity.

Nuada looked between them, agitated. "And?"

"The prince will not die, far from it." Fisonna said, focusing on her task instead of his face, "He does have a few internal fissures that will need healing—we'll make a salve, dear—but otherwise he is fine. A little over worked and swollen but it will go down to normal with a few days rest. Jotuns are durable creatures, it will take a lot to damage him irreversibly."

"They certainly did try." Nuada growled, but the relief was overwhelming. It didn't dampen his anger or guilt though, but he rejoiced in the small miracle for Loki's health. He would have massacred them all if there had been fatal damage, they couldn't expect Loki to bear children if his bones were broken, especially by their hands. Or locked up in that room. While Nuada respected that every realm and its people had their own customs, the old Jotun customs of breeding were barbaric and demeaning, not to mention dangerous. Times had changed and new knowledge found, one would think such customs could be left in the past where they belonged.

"Try?" Fisonna scoffed, "They drowned him. I'm going to have Jotun seed in my nails for weeks."

Everyone in the room either cringed or blushed, and Fisonna chuckled darkly to herself. They did a quick job of cleaning away the crusted fluids off Loki's skin and they let Nuada turn him back over and cover him with a sheet for modesty and comfort. Sylthal felt around Loki's neck and his palms with the back of her hand.

"He will be fine." she commented surely. Nuada nodded, but he wished he could believe it. Loki was such a temperamental creature, he knew there would be damage to his heart worse than his body, and there was no salve that could fix that.

Said male seemed to have no intention of waking, and Nuada had no plans to force him. His breathing was steady and according to Fisonna so was his heartbeat, and that's what mattered at the moment.

"I must warn you, I believe he will be a little dizzy—" Fisonna wound her crooked finger around the side of her head, "—until the fertility potions wear off. He's highly drugged and his judgement won't be the best. He may have sabotaged your nights together consciously, but put in this primal state…"

"I know, I will be prepared." Nuada nodded hurriedly. Loki might be all instinct for the next few days, even to the point of initiating sex thanks to the potions. But then maybe he'd be able to distinguish that Nuada was not Jotun, and that might put him off. Otherwise, he'd have to keep Loki distracted in another way.

"There is no immediate danger. If he wakes and desires to move about, allow him the stretch. Of course exercise caution if he is persistent sexually," Fisonna somehow managed to look down at Nuada from her shorter height, "Don't let him strain himself. Aid him, but don't let him exert himself for a while until he's healed inside."

Nuada flushed and looked down. "Yes, my lady."

"We've done all we can. Come Sylthal." Fisonna said, and they round up their equipment. Luckily most of it wasn't needed as Loki was fine, and Nuada escorted them out. The servants arrived soon after with jugs of drinking water and a bowl of the most nutritional soup on Álfheimr. It would have to wait though, and they left the bowl on a heating crystal to keep it warm until it would be eaten.

Before Nuada could work up the nerve to lie down besides Loki the mages returned with cooling crystals. They were very cold, Nuada was glad he didn't have to specify that, and he personally pressed them all around in Loki's side of the bed so it would help to cool him down. The mages asked no questions this time, but it was something he would handle when he himself had had some sleep. They left them be, and he gladly returned to Loki's side. The bedding was already cooler but it made little difference to Nuada. With his age things such as temperature now had little to no effect on his body, as was a pro to being an Elf, which made more sense of his union to Loki than Thor's would.

Now that everything had been seen to everyone took their leave to give them privacy. He caught the last servant.

"Please, tell Egill to gather his guard and fetch Nuala from Asgard. The Gatekeeper will allow them in, and Thor is for now on our side in this. Sneak her out if they must, I don't care what Odin or my father says."

The servant looked incredibly unsure, but nodded and hurried off. The order could start quite a fight between the royal houses, but no one wanted their princess stuck in the middle of it. Nuala had always been gentle and soft, the perfect princess. To have her stuck in Asgard with those that put strength and power above all else was frightening to them all.

It made Nuada truly question his father's sanity. His vying for Jötunheimr had already caused much discussion in their ranks. The Jotuns were no better than Asgard, but it was Nuada that would be facing it, not Nuala, and the people could live with that. But not Nuala, not in Asgard, not with Thor.

 _Thor_ …He had done a courageous thing. Nuada couldn't bear to think about what would be happening now if Thor had not released him from the cell. Thor kept his word, and now Loki was safe. It wasn't going to make up for all his actions, but Nuada supposed it was a start towards a civil relationship between their realms once they were both kings. Unless Thor had a hidden agenda and set him lose for his own gain…which was fine with Nuada, he could also play dirty. He wished he could make Loki's state public knowledge, show all the known realms of their universe what was done to Loki so that Laufey and Odin could suffer under the judgement, but he couldn't expose Loki so, he had suffered enough already.

As he lay he resisted the overwhelming desire to shift closer and squeeze Loki to his chest. It was unlike anything he'd felt before, he wanted to wind his arms around Loki and hold him close to his heart where it was safe and warm, caress the back of his neck as he kisses his forehead. He wanted to so badly. But he couldn't…he had started this mess, and ruined Loki's life. He did not deserve Loki, nor his forgiveness or trust, not even his acknowledgement. He brought this upon Loki. He did not deserve to hold Loki.

Loki did not wake at all in what was left of the night, and for that Nuada was grateful, grateful to shed his secret tears, and prepare his spirits for when next Loki laid eye on him.

And many hours later, Loki did wake.

**XxXxXx**

Thor just narrowly escaped Jötunheimr with his neck. The warriors' reactions were particularly funny when they realised he was trying to steal the casket, and he took them on a long goose chase, and giving himself a needed thrill. It did stop being thrilling though when he bit off more than he could chew. The Jotuns were far more frightening when filled with bloodlust rather than mutual childish folly. They were trying to _kill_ him, and he supposed he couldn't blame them.

He stumbled into Heimdall's observatory, panting and slightly roughed up, but he looked up for word of the other two.

"I almost left you there had you held onto the casket." Heimdall greeted, frowning. " _That_ was not part of the plan."

"I had no intentions to keep it." Thor grumbled, "They needed a bigger distraction. Did they make it?"

"They are in Álfheimr as we speak. But the job isn't done. Prince Nuada is sending his men to retrieve his sister. That I am afraid will not be as easy."

He was right, Nuada's escape would tighten security, and their grip on the princess. Though, that was _if_ they knew Nuada was gone. Thor honestly had no desire to force Nuala into a marriage, it was somehow worlds more uncomfortable than it had been with Loki.

"They should just leave," Thor muttered, "Balor, his daughter, this is all madness."

"I don't advise using that as your reasoning."

It was still night time on Asgard, perhaps nearing the early morning. It was still quiet and calm, but that did not stop Odin from sensing that there was something wrong. Thor was heading toward him when he found his father marching toward the throne room with a handful of soldiers. Thor steeled himself, looking very much guilty of his offence.

"Thor, Nuada has escaped—what has happened to you?"

Thor felt shame at the prospect of hope in Odin's voice, _begging_ Thor to not be involved, to not be to blame. After all these years, Thor realised a bit of blame would have taught him a lot.

"Thor."

"I released him."

The guards bristled, glancing at one another as Odin's face grew grim. Thor stood tall.

"Where did he go?" Odin asked, his one eye narrowed suspiciously. Thor just tightened his lips, and Odin knew.

"You fool, this will start war!" Odin barked.

"War? You think we have not already started war with your doings?" Thor growled.

"Fetch Heimdall!" Odin shouted over his shoulder, shooting Thor back a glare.

A guard rushed in then, "My king! There are Elves approaching!"

Odin scowled heavier, if possible.

Then to make matters worse Nuala came hurrying down the corridor, a handmaiden at her tail shouting for her to stop. The men straightened at their arrival and she looked between the royals, breathless.

"My-my brother—he's—"

"Escaped, we know. Thanks to my son." Odin said, and Thor rolled his eyes petulantly this time.

"No, no, he's on Álfheimr, I have to go to him."

"My king—" a guard had only a second to warn before a troop of Elven warriors came up from another corner, armoured and on a mission. The Asgardian guards tightened their stances, waiting on their king's word.

"Egill," Nuala said in relief, and ran forward to greet him, throwing her arms around his neck. Thor would have missed the blush in Egill's expression had he himself been the slightest bit interested in Nuala. The Aesir stood awkwardly, at no official authority to deny her the right to her people.

"Your Majesty," Egill greeted Odin with a curt nod, eyeing Thor strangely. "I have come by order of Prince Nuada to retrieve the princess."

"Princess Nuala is here with her father to discuss betrothal, leaving Asgard is fruitless and a waste of time around more important matters." Odin replied, much in the same tone.

"Nevertheless, Prince Nuada demands her return."

"That shall be decided by King Balor, not Nuada. He should be here in confinement, not in Álfheimr giving orders."

Egill glowered, tightening a hand around Nuala's arm. He did not look intimidated in the least, and the newfound wisdom Thor was sucking from the universe had him jumping in before the Elf could bury himself.

"Let us discuss this at a table before it gets out of hand. Heimdall is on his way."

"Out of hand? He is part of the problem! All of you, conspiring behind my back." Odin snapped.

"You didn't specifically order Heimdall _not_ to stop Nuada," Thor pointed out. "And it was not for naught, it was for Loki."

"Why would you help him?" Odin asked suddenly, squinting suspiciously again. "What compelled you to go all the way down to the dungeons and release him? After he attacked _you_. Why?"

"I guess I grew a conscious." Thor muttered, avoiding everyone's, especially Nuala's eye.

"Silence. You two, wake King Balor. You, wake Frigga." He ordered to the guards.

Nuala's handmaiden made herself noticed suddenly, the guards pausing. "King Odin, with all respect, you cannot awake our king now. He needs as much rest as possible."

Odin snorted lightly. "This matter needs to be seen to now, not later."

"A few hours won't kill anyone." Thor argued, then paused sheepishly. "I don't think."

"We shall wait for the king to rise, but we shall remain with the princess." Egill stated, daring Odin to argue.

"And if Balor allows it she may leave. It's a decent compromise." Thor then added quickly. "She can always come back. Nuada just wants to know she is safe."

"She is in our hands, what could be safer." Odin grunted.

Egill however, just fell short of a nasty sneer. "The Jotun prince was in your hands, and he was far from safe."

"I think it's time we go our separate ways." Odin said blandly, but Thor knew that to be his angry tone. "I hope you will understand that we will have men guarding the door, should a second… _escape_ ensue."

"We will gladly wait, Allfather." Nuala agreed diplomatically as she pushed on Egill's chest. "Thank you for the generosity."

The Elves followed their princess away to her quarters, shadowed by a few Aesir guards. Thor and Odin were painfully silent as they left, a tense atmosphere falling. Thankfully, Heimdall made his appearance, and Thor breathed a little.

"My king." He greeted calmly.

Odin glared at him. "You have a few things to answer for. For now, tell me. Any sign of war from Jötunheimr?"

"No, my king. The throne suffered a small siege, Prince Thrym has risen to a high level of influence. The Jotun are fighting amongst themselves."

Thor barely managed to contain his relief. He hadn't expect Thrym to be among the warriors chasing him, and he had never _ever_ seen Thrym as enraged as he was. There was little time to explain the situation, explain that he was just buying time for Nuada to save Thrym's little brother. And it was only that that cleared Thrym's berserk enough to hear him out. That and being conked on the head by the casket. Thrym was possibly the most amazing Jotun Thor had ever known, and if anyone should be the one in charge there, it was him.

"And Loki?"

"Safe in Álfheimr with Prince Nuada."

"Does Laufey know his son is gone?"

"Yes, he authorised it."

Odin frowned, then turned away sourly. "When Balor awakens there will be a meeting, you're both to be present."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

The first thing Loki noticed when he awoke was that the air wasn't thick and humid. He could breathe, right down to his stomach, and not just those short breaths that only left him gasping for more. He could _breathe_. The second thing he noticed was colour. So much colour. Familiar colour. The only place he'd seen so much colour lately was…

No, it couldn't be. Loki blinked his tired eyes repeatedly and lifted his head, and realised he was on a bed, in a familiar room. Browns and golds and were those legs-? Soft breaths quickly became pants as he followed the clothed legs up to find their owner. He knew deep down who it was, he recognised the trouser style, but he just didn't- _couldn't_ say it to himself. It was a dream. An illusion. A nightmare. A memory?

It _was_ Nuada. What the fuck? Loki looked away from the sleeping figure and sat up abruptly, his chest heaving. He winced at the pain that shot up his backside and grabbed at the sheet covering him. He was naked, but he was clean, much cleaner than before, and in Nuada's bed. Nuada, why what how why what? His father said he'd never see him again. He hadn't expected to either, he disgraced them and they knew what he did and he was damaged and they tried to fix—

…He made himself infertile... They tried to reverse it, with potions, and mating—rape... Lots and lots of it. Of both. All day along, that's why he was never clean, that's why he couldn't breathe. Then…his dream of Nuada hadn't been a dream, he'd been there...

Nuada had _seen_ him like that, used and filthy and full of—

Violently Loki's stomach clenched and sent hot bile up his throat. He choked and threw himself over the edge of the bed and vomited. There was nothing solid to come out, just the remnants of whatever broths and potions had been fed last, and bile. He choked a cry before throwing up once more, waking his company. The bed jerked as Nuada sprung to life in hazy bewilderment, and he hurried to help Loki back up from the side of the bed.

"Loki! You're awake, thank the gods." he squeezed Loki's arms carefully, trying to gauge his reactions, and slowly helped him back into the bedding when he was done. Confusion was clear as day on his face, and Nuada didn't like the way he was looking at him, as if he was going to hurt him. He didn't like it, but he understood it, and he was grounded by the predictability. "Loki, it's okay, you're safe, you're on Álfheimr. I swear on my life you are _safe_."

Nuada was here, he'd come to Jötunheimr and got him. But how? Loki strained to remember all that transpired, and what he did made him feel sick. "Why? How...I was..."

"I know. I came to get you. I am sorry it took so long. I was imprisoned and I only learnt of this days later when Nuala did. Loki I am sorry."

Nuada came to his rescue? He had been imprisoned? Nuala— …Nuala, she had been matched to Thor thanks to his actions. He shuddered, forcing back a thick ball of anxiety and more bile. "...Nuala, is she—? Thor—...I'm so sorry—"

Nuada silenced him with a caress to his cheek. "Hush. They are not married yet, and now that I've secured our match I will make sure they won't have to be."

Loki wanted to feel relaxed, he knew he should. He had longed for Nuada's careful touch but there was so much he didn't know, so much that had happened, and he hated where he was stuck now, not knowing, feeling lost in time. Nuada looked calm enough but did his father know Nuada took him? He'd be so mad! Not to mention the other men. Oh gods…memories of his short days in that room were ebbing into the front of his mind and he clutched the sheet closer as he trembled. He tried to focus on what Nuada was saying instead of the horrible images drifting to the surface.

"...Our match?" he repeated, not understanding, just parroting.

"Do not panic, dear heart. I have gotten your father to agree to allow us to marry. No one will hurt you again without my repercussions." Nuada promised-no, _vowed_. He saw Loki's face twist in alarm and quickly held his hands up in a surrendering motion. "I don't expect children or love from you, Loki. You've been hurt and I will spend this marriage trying to fix it."

This was a dream. It had to be a dream. He was still in Jötunheimr and being held down and raped by his own people—this couldn't be happening. He was no longer a prince he was just a used breeder he was so used and tired and a liar and a fool- _a big fool_ , he should have known his father would—his _father_ … The tears he tried to pretend weren't forming overflowed and dribbled down his cheeks and he shook his head frantically. "...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry—"

Nuada jumped to comfort him, and cradled the sobbing thing to his chest. He braced himself for Loki's backlash, but he couldn't help from trying. "No, shhh. Don't apologise. I understand, I understand…"

Explanations could come later, Loki supposed, right now all he wanted to do was cry into Nuada's chest. Those warm arms encased him and he couldn't find the energy to push them away.

" _Shh my love, save your strength._ "

" _...I'm sorry. I should've...should've...I couldn't...I didn't know..._ "

" _I'm so sorry, Loki._ "

Those words were real, and echoing loudly in Loki's head. Nuada had been real. He'd smelt real because he was real, he'd felt real because he was real. And he was here now holding him, safe in Álfheimr, where there were colours and warm and green and pretty gentle Elven people. Yes, he had reason to relax, but he kept crying, whether in panic or happiness even he didn't know, and near screaming into Nuada's chest as his body ached dully from its trauma. The Elf prince didn't seem to mind and only squeezed him closer, and started to rock them.

"…I am sorry, Loki. You're safe now, no one will hurt you."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The next hour had gone well. At least, Nuada thought so. Loki ate his soup like a starved man and gulped down the water without needing to be begged. It was a good sign. He swayed off balance every now and then and his thinking and movements were sluggish, so Nuada convinced him to take a nap once he was done. Loki made no argument, having said little and looking like he would prefer to go to sleep and not wake up.

When Loki did wake he was energised thanks to the sustenance, and the potions were rearing their ugly head. Nuada was awoken by a shake of the bed and a loud thud. He hurried over to the other side and found Loki fumbling on the floor. Nuada tried to be calm as he rushed to aid him, but Loki was like putty in his hands and flopped on his back the first chance he got, much like a cat in a romantic mood. He was hot despite the cooling crystals and panting heavily as if he'd been thoroughly pleasured, and by the looks of his erection, he was hoping to be. There was a dazed look in his eyes and when prompted for a verbal sign that he was conscious, Nuada accepted that he wasn't.

His Elven presence didn't seem to repel the primal-Loki either though, contrary to his pondering, and it didn't stop Loki from trying to pull him to the floor with him, legs spread like warm butter. And just like the comparison it was highly tempting, but there was no chance for Nuada to even think like that. Not for himself at least. But Loki _needed_ that contact, his body was forcing this reaction and its remedy was a sexual peak.

As if supporting the fact Loki made little needy sounds in the back of his throat and lifted his hips for friction. When he caught a grip on Nuada's shirt he didn't let go, and used it to pull himself up against the warm body since he couldn't manage to pull it down, ripping it at the seams.

There was little other choice, this was bound to happen, just like Laufey and Fisonna said.

Loki let out a raw moan and clung to Nuada when he lifted him. Nuada pulled him back up onto the bed, but Loki had a goal in mind and forced his way into Nuada's lap. His sheet was tangled and forgotten, leaving him bare, and he started pulling at Nuada's clothes, looking at them with a confused frown on top of big empty eyes. Nuada watched him sadly for a moment, his pulling too uncoordinated to move the clothes out of place, and petted his face in a silent apology for his next actions.

He leaned up and wrapped his arms around Loki, his left hand on his lower back and the other on his neck. Immediately he gave a good scratch in both places and Loki went heavy against him. Nuada quickly turned them over and pressed Loki down into the bedding, earning a soft gasp. He hooked those willing legs around his waist and reaffirmed his grip, and buried his face into Loki's neck before he started rolling his hips into Loki's.

Loki cried out as the pleasure started and clung like his life depended on it. His cloudy eyes stared up at the strange ceiling as he rolled his hips in motion, using little conscious to do so. He bucked desperately for that peak that was sure to come, it had to come, and pressed up into the hard body above him. There was something missing, something not there that usually was, but it wasn't stopping his peak from mounting so he didn't seek it out.

Nuada listened as Loki's breathing picked up and tried desperately not to become aroused himself. Loki's cock was throbbing into his stomach through his clothing, enticing him more, but he grit his teeth and focused on helping his little Jotun prince. He would have loved to be leaning over Loki and watching his face, but he didn't want to see those empty eyes staring up at him and not understanding. It would also bring Loki's peak quicker if he wasn't starting at Nuada's face and trying to figure it all out, all he needed was the constant contact and he'd be fine.

And like clockwork, Loki cried out in passion and spilt between them, panting loudly in Nuada's ear. He pulled tightly on his hair and clothing as he peaked, and remained locked until Nuada felt he was calm enough to pull away from. But Loki had a steel grip locked on him, so Nuada lay nuzzling into him until Loki was asleep again. He untangled the blue limbs gently and first made sure Loki was asleep before he wandered off for a quick wash. He disposed of his clothing, they smelt of the disgusting room they'd kept Loki in, now sticky from his release. He washed himself off quickly in the bath in his private bathing quarters and hurried back before Loki could wake up alone. But Loki was where he left him, and didn't wake again until the afternoon.

When he did, he jumped away from Nuada in shock, and looked around wildly for a second before remembering where he was. Nuada leaned away carefully as well to give him space, but Loki settled and looked at him warily.

"…Nuada?"

Nuada smiled kindly and lay back down, and resisted reaching for Loki. "Dear heart."

 _Dear heart_ , Norns how he'd missed hearing that. Loki lay back down cautiously as if something would jump out and attack him, then looked around again. "I'm really here."

Nuada nodded, "You are safe here."

Safe? If he hadn't been safe in his own home how would he be safe here? But... Nuada was here. Nuada had never _hurt_ him. Nuada was different. It was Nuada his thoughts drifted to when the princes were sent away. It was Nuada that came back for him and stopped his pain.

"...You actually came back for me." Loki said, softly. He searched Nuada's face for any sign that he was wrong, but there was nothing but sincerity and content. Did he know what had happened? He must have, Nuada was no ignorant fool. And he was cleaned so Nuada must have seen all the—

He wasn't clean.

Loki's shaking hands ghosted over his stomach where some remnants of recent release stuck. He scratched at it and looked blankly at Nuada for an answer, still too shaken to have felt any relief to be scared again.

"You woke up earlier in a needy state," Nuada explained softly. He looked a lot less guilty than Loki thought he should look, but clenching his rectal muscles gave no sign that they had been used. Still, Loki narrowed his eyes into a highly suspicious squint at Nuada and lifted the sheet to his neck to hide his body. He stuck his hands between his legs and probed for evidence of another's release between his buttocks, but he was clean and dry.

"I will not take you," Nuada said sadly, and offered an apologetic smile as he fiddled. Loki blushed before he could stop himself and looked down at his stomach.

"You did something." he complained, light heartedly. He couldn't remember it, but he could feel the ecstasy of release simmering in his blood. He couldn't find the strength to be angry though, _not_ releasing made him feel ill and sick. But it did remind him of what they had done to him…

"Here," Nuada leaned away, and turned back with a glass of crystal clear water that stole every fraction of Loki's attention, "Drink, and we'll go give you a bath."

A day ago he was begging for water, and now he would be submerged in it. Loki took the glass quickly, but spared a moment to look at Nuada. His eyes were so patient, so wise, so full of non threatening qualities it made that familiar anger at him spark again in Loki's chest.

But this time he let it go. It was _time_ he let it go. Nuada was helping him, Nuada was kind and Nuada was here for him when no one else was.

Hadn't he asked himself why he pushed Nuada away? Hadn't he wondered what it would be like if Asgard hadn't interfered? Hadn't he longed for Nuada's calm hand? He shouldn't be resisting Nuada, Nuada rescued him from his father's punishment, he should be grateful.

But that brought up another topic: the punishment. What if the fertility potions worked and he was pregnant? Wouldn't Nuada be upset? Wouldn't he himself? Could he handle being pregnant, like this? Bred by the warriors like a beast? Nuada wouldn't want a reminder of that, and neither would Álfheimr, he could imagine. Was it better to be infertile or pregnant? Suddenly he couldn't decide, for he doubted fate would grant him his fertility back without a price.

His thought showed on his face and Nuada gave an encouraging glance to speak, but Loki just shook his head and gulped down the water. Gods it was good, revitalising his body almost instantly. Along with the water, he pointedly sniffed in lung-fills of clean air, feeling a level of gratefulness he didn't think was possible for simple things like air and liquid ice.

Glad that Loki was not too damaged to glare and be himself, Nuada turned away and got up. He already had a cold bath waiting. Loki would be small and warm enough to enjoy it without turning it into a block of ice. He draped a couple towels over his arm and walked patiently to Loki's side of the bed where he sat watching, wiping the water from his mouth.

"Shall we?" Nuada asked, and offered a hand. A smooth, slim, elegant hand. So unlike the ones that have been all over him.

Loki put the empty glass the bed beside him and slid his legs over the side of the bed. He gave Nuada his hand because he was asking for it, and clutched hesitantly at the sheet as he rose. Was he supposed to be naked? Nuada had seen everything before, it probably didn't matter. Loki let the sheet drop and watched Nuada carefully, but the man's gaze did not fall from his face, and he smiled reassuringly, and pulled him to a joined room.

Cold, the room was so cold. It was worrying to notice. It felt good though, and he looked around at the wash room. Nuada led him over to the large dent in the floor filled with water, glorious water. Nuada dropped the towels on the floor and gestured a hand to the water.

"Our healers have provided healing bath salts that will make you feel better."

Loki didn't know what he was feeling, but curious was definitely one of them. He baby-stepped with Nuada, who never lost his patience, and looked down at the water as if it would jump out and bite him. He'd never had those experiences called _baths,_ but apparently theywere enjoyable.

When at the edge he steeled himself and lowered in a foot. At first he jumped at the sudden shock of cold, but it felt nothing but welcoming. With growing excitement he dipped his foot back in and gasped in relief. Nuada helped steady him until he was seated on an edge submerged in the water, and he rested back against the rim with a loud sigh. It was so cold, a little colder than the air of Jötunheimr but it made his body ease at the familiarity. His blue skin was such a contrast to the crystal clear of the water, it was almost beautiful if he thought so himself.

"The water smells odd." He noted after a few cleansing breathes. They went right down to the bottom of his lungs settling a cold tinge at the base.

Nuada dripped his hand in and sloshed the water around. "It is filled with natural oils from our gardens. It might make you drowsy."

Loki looked up sharply. If his eyes didn't show his alarm his expression did. Nuada petted a hand on his head. "They will aid healing, dear heart."

He sounded so sure, so patient. Loki didn't reply and looked back to the water, cupping it in his hands. Behind him Nuada took advantage of his passiveness and scooped up the water in his hands and poured it on his head so it dribbled down his hair. Loki pulled his legs up to hold his knees, and allowed himself to relax as the water rained down his shoulders like little vines of relief. He was starting to feel better, _inside_ , like he was supposed to. Normal.

Nuada seemed perfectly content in his small chore, and after a few minutes of tense silence (for Loki that is), Loki shifted his gaze minutely to the Elf.

"…Aren't you angry?" he asked, in resignation. He was just afraid to hear the hard truth.

"...I am angry. At everyone but you." Nuada said, giving Loki a slight scare. Loki looked around with confused eyes, boarding forced anger.

"I caused this." He said, just in case Nuada did not quite understand everything. The last thing he wanted was to be accused of deception again, he wasn't quite able to defend himself at the moment.

The Elf prince sighed and leaned on a palm, meeting Loki's eyes calmly. "You protected yourself because no one else would. Your healers are also to blame, they should have realised the first time what you had done and it could have been handled with even tempers instead of rash decisions and anger."

Yes, that sounded about right, but how were they falling from Nuada's mouth, why _his_? Loki nodded slowly, his brows furrowing. "...You came back for me. Why?"

"I want to love you, and you look like you need someone to love you. And I say love, not lust. They are two very different things."

Loki's heart clenched painfully. ' _You're a very different thing._ ' He thought, and sucked in a miserable breath. Nuada was too good for him, he deserved a grateful princess that would worship him, not a little rebellious beast that landed him balls deep in trouble, causing shame for his people, himself and two other realms. What did the other realms think of this? He couldn't even begin to wonder, did they know what his father had done to him? Did they know yet that Nuada had gone and fetched him-? …Nuada returned for him, and left with him. How did he do it? How did he get Laufey to agree? Or did Laufey really not care about Loki like he used to…? Did Asgard know? Did King Balor know?

Where had it all gone so wrong

As the thoughts swirled Loki started to panic, and ignored Nuada's attempts at petting him. "N-Nuada, what if I'm infertile? I can't give you heirs—"

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes." Nuada said, almost as if it angered him. "You are my ward for now and it will stay as such until you feel ready to be a wife and queen." Nuada watched him carefully, as if he was about to splash out wildly and run, "Unless you would rather go off on your own? ...I can try hide your somewhere, perhaps another realm—"

"No, I don't want to go—" Involuntary tears streaked down Loki's face and he started to cry. He turned, clumsily, and grabbed onto Nuada as if doing so would make him feel stronger. How could this man be so selfless? It hurt to think about, it hurt to see, and it hurt to accept. He felt like a stupid child compared to this man.

When Nuada hurried to lean over and embrace Loki back, Loki felt a large amount of satisfaction and relief. He'd done this man as much wrong (possible even more) than he had done him, and here he was consoling him. All those times Loki vented his frustration on Nuada because he didn't fight back, he should have been thanking him, and fighting with those that weren't here now. He was a horrible person.

Cradling Loki's head to his chest, Nuada held him close and pressed soft butterfly kisses to his wet hair. "You're strong Loki, so strong. I'm here. I'm here, little one."

"Wh-wh-what if I'm pr-pregnant?" Loki blubbered into Nuada's chest, finally allowing himself to feel _and_ enjoy Nuada's warmth.

"Then you're pregnant. We'll just have to raise—" Loki's cries cut him off, and he just hugged Loki tighter while hiding a grimace. He hated Loki like this, he missed that lively little hellion, that testy person that _was_ Loki. This wasn't Loki, and Laufey was to thank for that.

"Shall we have the healers check you later?" he asked softly, and waited patiently until eventually Loki nodded.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Father he was gone by last night. If he was dead or started war we would have known." Thor reasoned, and looked around the table of royals and councilmen. He swallowed thickly, feeling tired and judged and every bit the child Nuada accused him of being, under the scrutiny of a dozen eyes. "…I trust he handled it like a king."

The only thing that was making him feel better was the way Frigga and Nuala looked up at him, their eyes shining with emotions he really didn't deserve. He may have helped, but he had no doubt he gave Loki nightmares, and would probably be slain by him if the chance arose. Still, having their pride and support kept him standing, exposed.

His words didn't seem to comfort Odin or Balor at all, both of whom were shaking their heads and had been for a while now. Odin sighed. "Handled it? Thor your lapse in judgement—"

"If my lapse in judgement served only to save Loki then I do not regret it." Thor snapped. "I _had_ to—…we had to." They had put Loki there, they couldn't have done nothing… Thor gave Frigga a short meaningful glance, grateful for her push. She smiled at him.

"Heimdall, what was the bargain agreed upon between Nuada and Laufey?"

"A full match as long as both sides keep their terms."

Everyone looked around, frowning, as if it were asinine. Being a jerk, Thor could tell what they were thinking, that Loki was damaged products and in no way fit for a proper royal marriage. And so did Odin.

"Does Nuada know Loki is...?"

"The prince is well aware of Loki's infertility, and possibility of pregnancy. As long as Laufey carries through all agreements which were originally placed on the match and completely relinquishes Loki, the match will be fulfilled, despite Loki's predicaments."

"Nuada..." Balor looked down at his plate, but besides him Nuala looked overjoyed, blinking away sweet tears that were far too full of emotion for Thor to look at for too long. She clearly loved her brother, as Thrym loved Loki, and suddenly he wondered what it felt like. The desire was painful though, so he focused on being grateful that Nuada's head wouldn't be on their doorstep, nor possibly Loki's.

Frigga leaned to give Balor a gaze of admiration "Your son is a great man, King Balor."

Balor looked strangely surprised, but Odin ignored them. "And still no sign of war from Jötunheimr?"

Heimdall shook his head. "No, but Laufey awaits Balor and Nuada to come settle official arrangements for Loki. The Jotun will stand with the choice to give up Loki for the union, but they want nothing to do with Asgard. I would advise we leave Álfheimr to settle any and all matters left."

The table looked at Thor who flushed, his casket business having made it into the open.

Balor stood hurriedly, Nuala jumping faithfully to help him up. "Then we should settle this."

Odin almost looked outraged did he not look so patronising, eyeing the way Nuala held her father up, the way he couldn't see past his nose. The councilmen glanced around, peeking at Odin for the obvious question on everyone's tongue.

"You approve of this union?" Odin asked before Balor could stop away from the table. Nuala's face sobered and she looked down, whilst Balor squinted.

"…My son has made his choice. It is too late to go back."

"A union between our lands is still possible," Odin said, looking at Frigga, then Thor.

"And we shall address it as soon as I have addressed this. I am sure you can wait a few days…?"

"Of course. But I think you will have to as well, as I understand it Loki is in need of constant aid and it might be best to wait until he is…more stable."

"They're not going to disappear," Thor said, earning a shush from Frigga.

Nuala nodded though, patting her father's arm and gesturing for him to sit, "The Allfather is right. Nuada will not leave Loki's side so soon, for anything."

"Prince Nuada has asked for you to return," Egill cut in, looking pleading at Nuala.

"I am safe, you can assure him of that. But until Loki is okay he can't juggle this. Have him send word when things are under control. Perhaps we can then return and I will stay with Loki while father and Nuada go to Jötunheimr."

Heimdall hummed. "That could be any amount of time from now. Jötunheimr will not wait long for the union to be officialised."

"Give them a day or two to settle, at least," Frigga added, glancing around at everyone for at least three seconds, the Elven guard included. "Loki will be in a bad place and if Nuada is managing to help him than we shouldn't intrude. I understand Nuada wants his sister with him after everything that has happened, but he needs to be focused. Right now his priority ought to be Loki and Jötunheimr. Have him know I swear that Nuala will not be ushered into any marriage until his with Loki's is well sorted."

She hit the nail on the head, and finally Egill was set to rest. Odin sighed but did not argue, he had no good reason to. Thor deflated, relieved, and gave Nuala a small smile when she looked at him.

Egill nodded. "I will send the message. If my king agrees…?"

Balor nodded hastily. "As soon as he is ready we shall meet with Laufey. Nuala and I shall wait here, if we're still welcomed, Odin?"

"Of course, for as long as you need."

Balor laughed. "I don't have much longer left."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of filler chapter but has to happen. I am on holiday now so I'll prolly wrap up this story soon, 2 or maybe 3 chapters left. Then onto a couple one shots for other idea. Then maybe a GoT/Thor infusion. …or a Tolkien/Thor fusion. Can't decide. Thank you for reading! More soon, want to wrap this up <3


	25. Not Alone nor Unloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By now the ‘AM I PREGNANT’ fiasco is over used, it wasn’t my plan to bring it back with the Jotuns. It’s a small worry in Loki’s eyes right now, so the debacle isn’t drawn out. Enjoy the relief and thanks to my readers!
> 
> 900+ kudos holy frick frack fuck asdjasfdasd thank you all
> 
>  
> 
> _I apologise for errors_

**Chapter 25: Not Alone nor Unloved**

 

“Prince Loki is not pregnant.” 

Loki had felt both eager and sick at the idea of being tested for another pregnancy. Later that day they paid a visit to Sylthal. A short while later of fretting himself to death and being prodded by Elven fingers and magic, his fears were laid to rest.

“Thank you.” he breathed to no one in particular, tilting his head back in a silent prayer of thanks. It was one less horror to live with.

Nuada rubbed his arm comfortingly. He was relieved Loki wasn't pregnant, though not nearly as relieved as Loki was. “How is his health?”

“He is going to need a couple weeks of rest and recovering for all internal damages. His temperature is back down to normal for now, but when it does rise all he need do is take a dip in a cool bath.” she gestured to Nuada who nodded, already having done that. “Jotuns are naturally fertile creatures, so even though the potions have worn off it has started up his natural systems. In essence you very well may grow fertile again Loki, but it will result in a rise in temperature, increased appetite, arousal, and dizziness. You are very, very young so chances are your body will fight to regain its natural flow. Beware these symptoms. A bath will handle all of these symptoms, and a good portion of food. You'll be okay.”

Sylthal sounded sure enough, enough so that it forced an excited flicker of hope inside Loki. He had never sat and thought about the value of being fertile, it wasn't even a passing thought in the Jotun mind to be infertile. It had always been something he took for granted and saw as a burden that would force him to take a partner. Jotuns were gifted, at least when compared to many of the other realms. Being diagnosed with such an ailment was almost too exotic to properly mourn over. He didn't know if to truly rejoice her words for doing so felt like he had given in to the breeding. But now whenever he thought of being difficult he thought of Nuada who was doing everything for him, and it made his will fall.

“Thank you.” he mumbled, choosing to stay passive.

“Thank you, Sylthal.” Nuada said, and was about to turn when Sylthal held up a jar.

“We've already mixed a jar of healing salve to be used.” She said, showing them. “It’s absorbed fast so it has to be administered often, but once it runs out you shouldn't need it again.”

Nuada looked content, but Loki couldn’t help inquiring. “Is...is it safe for Jotuns?”

“Yes dear, I have good knowledge on your kind. And I learnt a lot more when it was decided we might have a Jotun queen.” She smiled handsomely, making Loki want to shrink, then even more when she placed her hand on his forehead. “You are hot again. Your body will be fighting I’m afraid. You might also vomit, but it’s no cause for alarm. Unless its blood you’re bringing up.”

“How long? Is there anything we can do to help it?” Nuada asked, accepting the jar from her.

She pulled a face. “I'm afraid not. If we give him fertility potions of our make his next mate could end up birthing him five young at a time. Their growth and sapping on his body will kill him before the birth does. So we must let his body heal itself.”

Nuada, masking his horror as he leaned back along with Loki, gently patted Loki’s shoulder. “Let’s be safe than sorry. Are you okay with this Loki?”

“Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you.” Loki said hurriedly, trying not to imagine being drained alive by a gigantic stomach full of babies. He was definitely in no rush to be fertile with _that_ chance hanging about. If Nuada was okay with it, he’d be too.

“Get him another bath. I'll make sure food is sent up to your chambers. And start applying the salve every few hours, internally is best. I know there is pain but this will fix it.” she said the last part to Loki, and didn’t wait for an answer. She turned away with a parting smile and Nuada lifted Loki off the table and slid him to his feet.

“Thank you, Sylthal.” Nuada kept an arm around Loki, and they left her to her silence. Loki watched his feet as they walked, his bare feet, subconsciously rubbing his thumb on the hand Nuada had secured around his waist. He was wearing Elven clothes, but not trousers. It was a sort of gown, a large one that hung over him and hovered around his knees. It was light and seemed like very weak material, but it was soft and he wasn’t going to turn down comfort.

When they re-entered Nuada’s chambers Loki headed straight for the bed. He wasn’t fond of the connotations connected to a bed, he’d had enough of that to last him, but being bold, he couldn’t imagine Nuada barging in and demanding such a thing, so _this_ bed he would enjoy as much as possible. He climbed on himself, it was rather high (he hadn’t noticed before) and sat back in the huddle. Nuada hovered about the room, seeming to doodle aimlessly as if he was stalling.

Eventually the silence got to Loki. “…She said I might be fertile again.”

The topic didn’t seem to offend or bother Nuada and he looked up with a neutral smile. “Let us hope.” But then his features changed slightly, and he extended a hand. “…Come Loki, you shouldn't be so hot. We _should_ have another bath.” 

Loki nearly refused, he was feeling lethargic and warm, not at all how he usually felt, but perhaps that was the best reason to go have the bath. He didn’t want to embarrass himself and become a writhing mess in front of Nuada and his people. He sent a promise through his palms to the bed that he would return and slipped off, and followed Nuada back into the bathroom.

“It’s very cold in here, are you sure it doesn’t bother you?” he asked, a few steps into the room. It was cold enough for him to notice, and while he remembered Nuada saying something about Elves being impervious to temperatures he still couldn’t help being careful. He’d hate to be inconvenienced in his own home, surely others felt the same, especially a prince. Maybe not even toward the prince himself, but who knows if the ice would damage his home. Loki wasn’t at home anymore to take things for granted.

“I am fine, Loki. Is it cold enough for you?”

Loki nodded mechanically, and accepted the gesture towards the water. This time he didn’t hesitate and pulled off his gown and climbed in, hissing at the cold on his warming skin. He was going to have to live in here to keep his body from sabotaging him. How painfully ironic.

When he looked up he found Nuada with the jar Sylthal gave him. That’s what he had been fiddling with, maybe he wasn’t sure when or how to administer it. Then Nuada shed his shirt and Loki stepped aside for him to climb in too. A frown sunk into Loki’s brow as he watched Nuada climb down.

“You can...you can take off your trousers.” Loki mumbled, watching as Nuada settled in with his pants. They looked like a lot of material to get wet and haul back out. But one look at the muscle lining Nuada’s arms and Loki dismissed the worry.

“I'd rather not make you uncomfortable.” Nuada said, then smiled guiltily. “Though now I might break that...” he said, and gestured to the salve.

Loki tried his best not to look at it in distaste as it was there to _help_ him. But knowing where and how, it automatically made him want to resist. But he couldn’t, he was being given a second chance here and this was _Nuada_. Kind, wise old Nuada. He pressed his lips together for a moment, “...Just do it.”

Nuada offer him the salve. “I can leave it to you but you need to apply it properly, you have deep fissures.”

Loki shook his head and gave a sigh of defeat. “You can.”

For a moment Nuada waited for Loki to change his mind, then petted his cheek briefly for his bravery. “I will try not to hurt you. Turn.” 

And he was back with his back to someone. Loki tried not to think dark thoughts as he took hold on the rim of the tub and spread his legs under the water. He breathed evenly as Nuada set the jar on the floor within hands reach and jumped lightly when a pair of hands moulded to his shoulders. Simple dips of those pale thumbs into his tense muscles sent Loki moaning, dropping his head forward. Nuada squeezed his slim fingers in a soothing motion and coaxed some of the tension from Loki while slowly moving closer until he could rest his forehead on the back of Loki’s head. His hands trailed down Loki’s back, into the icy water, following the curves of his body and back up again in circular motions. 

Loki let his head roll back against Nuada’s, savouring his attentions. These same attentions he’d taken for granted. If only he’d listened. Maybe his father was right after all…

“I'm going to apply it now, okay?” Nuada said into his ear, making him shiver. “If it’s too much, tell me and I'll stop.”

“Okay...” Loki whispered, his eyes closed. Nuada curved a hand to hold his belly, then dipped his fingers in the thick salve and brought them slowly down into the water. Loki acknowledged the movement and pushed out his rear. Nuada rubbed his forehead up and down, his own eyes closed, and murmured encouragingly as he found the crease of Loki’s buttocks, and curled in his fingers. He pushed until he found the abused entrance, swollen and soft, taking care to be slow and predictable, and pressed in two fingers. 

There was a slight resistance, a slight sting, and Loki tensed, but he didn’t pull away. It was such a familiar sensation now, and yet it was nothing like Jotun cock, and he was glad for it. Nuada waited until he eased up around his fingers, then slid them as far as he could go and circled them to spread the medicine. While affective, it had its consequences.

No amount of gritting his teeth could keep the moaning away and Loki’s mouth popped open into a delighted moan. The circular motion was divine and nothing sort of sensual, but that was his drugged body talking. Each twisted around his sensitive walls sent tingles up his spine, and seemed to all gather where Nuada’s forehead met the back of his head. He could feel Nuada’s knuckles on his cheeks—and then it was all gone.

Loki made a mindless noise in protest and Nuada shushed him with a scratch to his stomach while he gathered more salve and reapplied it. He was welcomed back and Loki had to manually remind himself not to push back and get aroused. Thankfully Nuada didn’t continue the scratching and all too soon it was over, and Nuada was kissing his shoulders.

“Come, food will arrive soon and we can go sleep.”

If he noticed Loki’s inner struggle he didn’t say. Loki softly requested some extra time in the bath alone, and used it to make sure there was no simmering in his body that would lead to him doing anything sensual in Nuada’s bed. He didn’t want to taint that bed. Not now…maybe never…maybe one day. But not now.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

A large portion of food later Loki felt lazy. He was huddled up in Nuada's bed amongst the lush pillows, wrapped in a silk sheet—he was content. He didn't want to move for another century, he was tired and felt more miserable as the day turned into night. He wanted to be happy for Nuada, show that he _was_ grateful, but trying to smile was like lifting the world. It was hard enough to try not harp on the memories of the breeding room, of his _father_ , but his body did not help the matter by making him lust for the punishment his father bestowed upon him. It was horrid, he shouldn't _want_ that, and he hated his body and his father for sinking him to this state. Especially in front of Nuada.

Once the food was demolished Nuada laid them down and pressed Loki into the crook of his arm and held him to his chest firmly, but not restrictively. It was slack enough to allow Loki the ability to move away if he chose, but firm enough to show him he would protect him. It was comforting and Loki tried to focus on the warmth of Nuada's chest, its steady rise and fall, the light thrumming of his heart. It sounded like music to Loki, for should that beat stop, so would his safety. He clung tighter at the thought, and allowed his guilt to ring out every sweet thing Nuada had said to him, and meant, but he had been too hard to _hear._

_“Hit me, Loki.”_

_“I humble myself to you.”_

_“...You are so beautiful.”_

_“You are perfect, Loki Laufeyson.”_

_“I am sorry.”_

_“Because I care.”_

_“If Asgard hadn’t intruded I’d be spending all these days trying to win your heart as well as your hand with affections instead of children.”_

_“…You are most magnificent.”_

_“You are so beautiful.”_

_“I am here for you, Loki.”_

_“Because this is the Nuada you will remember for ever.”_

Yes...that was the Nuada he would remember, that was the Nuada holding him close and drying his tears. That was the Nuada that broke into the palace for him, that was the Nuada who was giving him all the water he needed. That was the Nuada that fought Thor in an enraged impulse for him, that was the Nuada saying he would have accepted a stranger’s baby already conceived in Loki.

Nuada loved him…? Or at least he _wanted_ to. That's what he said, he wanted to love Loki...

Was that so bad to accept? All his life Loki was told what he would be: a treasured bride wed to the man that deserved him most. But Loki had a rebellious and independent soul and scoffed at their words, and they didn't bother to argue...because they knew they would have their way. He went about life believing he would wed when _he_ saw fit, because he was apparently this beautiful valuable (and talented) thing. They made him think he _mattered_ , they made him think his word _counted_. They made him think he had the upper hand. They'd fooled him. And in his own arrogance that rivalled Thor's, he dug himself into the hole. 

And who was there to pull him out? Nuada. Who was there to make him peak so hard he forgot why he was angry? Nuada. Who was there talking to him and trying to know him? Nuada. Who was there on his knees allowing Loki to strike out his pent up emotions upon his face? Nuada. Who returned after knowing Loki's trickery and shame and pulled him out of the hole he made? Nuada. 

Nuada...Loki's mind started to chant the name like a mantra and he rubbed his face into Nuada's chest through the fabric. Suddenly he wished it were bare so he could feel his skin, stare at every crook or scar, press his lips to it, maybe taste it a bit, inhale his scent. His fingers were clenched so tightly around the fabric of his shirt but he couldn't care less unless Nuada did, he felt safe. He was not relaxed anymore, and as Nuada filled his mind and senses he grew more and more tense, pressing up against Nuada's side to feel as much of him as possible. His motions were noticed and Nuada kissed his head and rubbed his back, and Loki felt an insane hick of disappointment when Nuada did nothing more. What did he expect? Or more frighteningly, what did he _want_ Nuada to do? He wasn’t ready to give that over…? He wanted to show Nuada he was grateful and he knew he would be pleasured as much as Nuada, but the act automatically left a bad taste in his mouth and what if once they started Nuada would want it all the time? What if he didn't have the strength to give himself over all the time? He didn’t want to disappoint Nuada. The man was doing everything for him, treating him like a babe, the last thing he wanted to do was lose him and be sent back to that room…

The lack of conversation didn't seem to be a particular burden to Nuada and he looked content with their position, it was Loki’s mind that was in turmoil. After nearly hours of working up a nerve, Loki was about to shift a little more and work his way into a confused Nuada's lap, but a knock at the door made him jump back off guiltily and a servant popped their head in.

“My prince? Egill has return.” 

Nuada sat up abruptly, but turned first to Loki.

“I will be right back.”

“Nuala?” Loki asked, hopefully.

Nuada nodded, but it faltered. He couldn’t sense any of the usual sensations he had when they were physically near. In fact, her side of the link was careful…guarded, now that he noticed. He put on a smile to reassure Loki, and made his way off the bed and to the door. The servant slipped out and he followed him, closing the door and turning the now tense smile at his head guard.

“I am sorry.” Egill said immediately, bowing.

“Why isn’t she here?” Nuada asked, looking behind Egill as if she was hiding behind a corner.

“It was mutually decided that she will wait until Prince Loki has healed some…before she returns.” Nuada frowned dramatically, Egill winced. “So not to intrude on the healing. As soon as Loki is well you may send word and Nuala will come.”

“Did Odin decree this?”

“It was Nuala, my Lord. And Queen Frigga. The queen swears there will be no development where marrying Nuala off is concerned. She said you must care for Loki first, and when this is settled the other matter can be seen to.”

“And I must trust that? My father—…His judgement is not at its best. Nuala needs to be here! Where Odin cannot persuade my father otherwise and usher her into a marriage with that boy! I can’t protect her if she isn’t with me!”

Egill frowned sadly, but gave the smallest of smiles. “Which is why I will return to Asgard now, and remain by her side until she comes home. I will die before I let them have her.”

Nuada sobered instantly, and sighed peacefully. He smiled and reached out, patting Egill’s shoulder in thanks. “…I believe that will do to keep me sane.”

Egill returned the gesture. “I would die for the both of you. How is the prince?”

“Loki is well, considering. But I cannot say when he will recover. _If_ he will recover…”

“Nuala said she will return and watch over Loki so you can settle the union officially with the Jotun king. Perhaps send Jötunheimr a message, informing them of the plans. It’d be best if we don’t give them a reason to attack us. Especially not for being late.”

“Good idea. I will do that. You return to Nuala, and I will send you all word soon to return.” As an afterthought Nuada paused. “My father…is he well?”

“He did not argue against your actions.” Egill said, smiling. “And he is well.”

“…I will try to send word soon. He needs to return home too.” Nuada said, softly. He bid Egill a quick goodbye, and when he remembered who was waiting in his bed, hurried back.

“Is everything okay?” Loki asked, sitting up, legs crossed and swaddled in the silky blankets. Loki seemed to love the feel of them. It was a small relief for Nuada knowing Loki covered himself for the feel of the cloth, and not necessarily to hide.

Nuada frowned, smiling at Loki’s perception. “Yes, why wouldn’t it be, love?”

Loki glanced at the door. “I thought maybe she’d come and say hello.”

Nuada climbed onto the bed, and hefted a small sigh. “True…that is true. Nuala isn’t here. She is going to wait a little on Asgard.”

Loki’s brows twisted. “Why?”

Nuada paused. He didn’t want to lie to Loki, but telling the truth suddenly felt like the wrong thing to do. It might make Loki feel like he was intruding, the last thing he needed was to be worrying about his place in their home.

“…She has elected to remain there with our father until you both have gotten your strength back. Father will need much strength to travel and you are still healing. When you’re better they will make the trip.”

Loki searched his eyes, for lies perhaps? But nodded, looking down at his lap where he was running the fabric between his fingers.

For a quiet moment Nuada followed his gaze and watched too, just watching his slim fingers caress the silk, noting new little things about his fingers. The exact length, the shape of his nails, the creases in his skin, the slight bruise inside his wrist. All of that was his to care for now. And care for he would.

Nuada rolled off the bed and went to his desk, dropping into the chair and grabbing up his writing utensils. Loki’s eyes followed and watched him from afar. And it wasn’t surprisingly long afterwards that Loki inquired.

“Is that to my father?”

Nuada stopped in surprise. He had been wondering where to compromise the truth again, but Loki cut that road off with his still sharp wits, and undeniable suspicions.

“…Yes. I am informing him that as soon as you are fit I will go back and sign the union.”

Loki fidgeted uncomfortably. “Why are you waiting until I’m fit?” Nuada didn’t quite know how to answer straight out, but his worry was mistaken. Loki fidgeted even more. “…I don’t want to go back there.”

“You won’t be,” Nuada said a little too fast and a little too harshly, then manually righted himself. “You don’t need to. I just want you to be well so that you can handle being without me for a few hours.”

“I am not inept.” Loki said, his face crinkled in hurt. 

“That is not what I meant.” Nuada sighed, writing again. “It’s just a precaution. I owe you my service.”

To this Loki didn’t reply. 

After a while of Nuada scratching on a scroll and Loki looking around awkwardly, he broke the silence. “Will Nuala be okay in Asgard?”

“Odin would not dare harm anyone from a realm of our level. And the Allmother has sworn to delay any progress on the godforsaken marital nonsense.”

But Odin sure felt able to harm someone from a realm of _his_ level, Loki noted painfully. It was indirect, of course, he had just made the situation, it was Thor that caused the pain. “…Can you trust that? What if…what if Odin and Thor…”

Nuada stopped again, and looked off in thought with a funny confused expression on his face that caught Loki’s attention. “…I had my talks with Thor, he won’t be bothering her.”

Then Loki remembered. “You were imprisoned! Wh—…why? What did you do?”

Finished now, Nuada rolled up the scroll, sealing it with his House name’s symbol. “I might have hit Thor.”

“You hit Thor? You mean, you hit him without him attacking you first?”

“In front of both our families.” Nuada confirmed with a silly nod. Loki giggled, looking at him as if he were crazy. “Why?”

“I was a little overwhelmed,” Nuada confessed. “You were…I learnt through the link from Nuala what was happening to you, and about her union to Thor. So I went to get Nuala and bring her home. Heated words where thrown around, I reached for Nuala, Thor reached for me and…I exploded.”

“…Shouldn’t…shouldn’t you insist her back then? Odin could still make her do it, couldn’t he? You can’t—…I wouldn’t leave it. I’d bring her back, just in case.”

“Thor won’t be a problem. At least, I want to believe so.”

“ _Want_ to?” Loki repeated with a very sassily cocked brow. Nuada smiled at him, savouring the show of Loki-ness.

“…Thor helped me to rescue you from Jötunheimr. He released me from my cell and went back to Jötunheimr. With me. He caused a distraction so that I could get to you. He defied his father to do that. If he had something to gain from doing that I struggle to see what it is. But I can’t be upset, because you’re here now, and it worked. For that I am grateful.”

Slowly Loki’s face pinched in, and he started fiddling with the sheets again. “Why…why would he do that?”

“I don’t know.” Nuada said, honestly. “Perhaps he did have a change of heart. Perhaps he wanted to relieve himself of guilt…Don’t think too much on it, he is in your past. As is Jötunheimr.”

With wet eyes Loki nodded, looking up repeatedly, then looking back down, still understandably upset.

Nuada slowly found his way back to Loki, who made no protest against being held and cuddled into the bedding in a quiet bliss.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

“My king? There is a message from Prince Nuada.”

Laufey looked up slowly. Thrym was upon the servant before he could see where he had come from, swiping the scroll and coveting it. Laufey said nothing, and made no protest as Thrym read it silently.

A good while later after rereading the message countless times, Thrym addressed his father. “Loki is alive, and healing.”

“Of course he is.” Laufey retorted, albeit weakly.

“No, _thank the gods_ he is,” Thrym correct bitterly, the scroll crushing in his fist. “But he does still need watching. Nuada will wait until he is well before he comes here to finalise the arrangement. I don’t think that will be a problem. Do you?”

Laufey stared at the wall past Thrym’s body. He answered eventually, his tone low and neutral. “No, it isn’t.”

“I agree.” Thrym said, lips tight with an exaggerated nod. He plonked down on the chair opposite Laufey’s and pulled out a blank page, writing back immediately.

A heavy silence continued on, but it was different to all the other times since Thrym had moved himself into the office. Since Thrym had decided to call the shots, and quite persuasively turn half the population against Laufey and his decline in choices. Everyone had known what Loki went through was wrong, but only when someone of importance stood up did they bother to stand with them. Thrym wished he had done it a long time ago. His blatant arguments of the truth gained recognition and support from many (albeit they were hypocrites), and more importantly, they broke down the cold walls Laufey had built to ignore what he was doing, to justify it. 

Laufey’s guilt won, and he gave up his fight when Thrym tried to kill him.

“I am sending Loki’s belongings to Álfheimr back with this letter,” Thrym decided to inform, most likely just to rub it in.

Laufey ground his teeth, finding nowhere to look that didn’t remind him of everything. “He will appreciate that.”

“He won’t be coming back with Nuada.” Thrym said, glancing at Nuada’s scroll, “Nuada will take the forms back for Loki to sign, and send them back here.”

That wasn’t quite following traditions, but then none of it was. Laufey couldn’t dare argue, and he wouldn’t. He _was_ too ashamed, and he did love Loki enough to spare him the pain of seeing him again.

“That should be fine.” Laufey said, mostly to himself.

Thrym acted like he heard nothing and continued his reply, trying his best to sound professional, but not impersonal. Like Laufey Thrym too held guilt, but he didn’t know how to go about Loki. Did Loki hate him for not helping properly from the start? If he had been a better brother, more responsible, more concerned, then Loki might not have suffered. It was his fault too, and it pained him. He might never see Loki again, because Loki might never want to see him again. He let it all happen. He let them destroy his little brother. And while Nuada played a part in it, Thrym believed he was the only one who truly cared.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

“You can leave this room, you know.” Loki said, shifting idly a few places from Nuada who was by the balcony. Nuada gave him a light frown and a confused smile for him to elaborate. “I won’t break anything. I’m sure the kingdom needs you. You can’t be in here with me all day, don’t you have duties?”

Nuada reached, gesturing for him to join him. Loki stepped over slowly, allowing Nuada to place a light arm around his waist as they stood in the sunlight, watching over the land and sea visible from the angle. The wind was light and cool, waving over his skin pleasantly.

“We have many competent people incharge of many things. If they require my father’s, or my advice, they will come to us. And if you do break something it is quite alight.”

Loki made a soft “Oh,” and fell quiet again. Nuada nuzzled his head and rocked them side to side, wishing Loki would smile again.

Today would mark the third day Loki was in Álfheimr. His message had been well received and replied to by Thrym. Nuada was relieved to see no threats or contempt from the Jötunheimr heir in his reply, though it was surprising. He knew Thrym was hurting, outraged by all that had happened and no doubt blamed Nuada and Thor, enough so to try for his father’s head. Nuada was genuinely concerned about being in the same room with him again, he did not want to have to fight him to protect himself, he respected Thrym and it would upset Loki if they fought.

Loki was ignorant to the reply, Nuada didn’t want him thinking of Jötunheimr anymore than he so obviously was. He was glad to see Thrym had sent Loki’s books and personal comforts, but he decided to wait a little before letting Loki have them. Still Loki was too far in his thoughts, and it pained Nuada just imagining Loki’s last days in Jötunheimr. He could only imagine Loki’s pain at _remembering_ them.

“Shall we take a walk?” He offered suddenly. Loki frowned at him.

“To where?”

“Where do you want to go? Anywhere you like.”

Loki thought about it for a moment, then shook his head.

Nuada hugged him closer, glancing over the view. “What about…hmm…”

“I’m fine here.” 

“A little walk will do anyone good.” Nuada said, softly.

“I don’t want to.”

“Alright, love.”

A rather comfortable silence followed despite the overall depressing mood. They rocked gently for a while, Nuada rubbing circles into Loki’s belly and Loki poking and scratching randomly at invisible pecks on his arm.

Then Loki spoke.

“…Is Sleipnir still here?”

“Yes, he is.”

Loki was quiet again.

Nuada squeezed him a little. 

“Would you like to visit him?”

Loki nodded.

 

After having the word spread for everyone to try their best at avoiding the way down to the stables, Nuada led a cautious Loki down. He was dressed in cotton clothing this time, trousers and a vest. He held Nuada’s hand, eyes darting around as they went. 

All went without incident and Loki found himself back with the strange horse he had ridden when he first came to Álfheimr. He had really thought he would never come back, but here he was.

“He is happy to see you.” Nuada said with a chuckle as Sleipnir knocked his head against Loki’s hesitant hands. He quickly brought Loki from his shell and Loki smiled, petting him more solidly. 

“The feeling is mutual.” Loki told Sleipnir.

“You may have him,” Nuada blurted, desperately wanting Loki to feel welcomed, safe, wanted, _anything_ positive.

Loki looked at him in surprise, but continued to pet a demanding Sleipnir, and that was good. “…Thank you.”

Nuada breathed in relief.

“Sleipnir.” Loki said to himself, running his hands along Sleipnir’s neck. Nuada stepped away to give him space, and paced around, taking a moment to himself to give thanks again that they were here, safe and sound. Loki busied himself with his new steed.

“I can ride him whenever I want?” Loki asked, cutting through a peaceful while of silence.

“Whenever you want.” Nuada nodded.

“Thank you.”

‘ _You don’t have to thank me_ ,’ wobbled on the tip of Nuada’s tongue but he held it in, and instead gave Loki a little bow. 

“…Is your father angry? Because you came for me?”

Nuada turned abruptly, and stepped toward him. “No.” He said instantly, fearing for a moment it was a lie, but according to Egill his father had not argued, and knowing his father than was good news for them. 

“But will you still get what you want out of my father even with me…even…now that I’m—” Loki’s muttering was cut off as Nuada embraced him, smoothing a hand in the curve of his neck and the dip of his back.

“Loki, stop thinking about all that.”

“I can’t, Nuada!” Loki shouted, pushing him away. Loki backed into Sleipnir, as Nuada stumbled away in surprise, but instantly Loki looked regretful and nervous. “I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered, and turned to hide into Sleipnir’s mane who was all too glad to turn his head and knock against him.

“I am sorry too.” Nuada said, trying for neutral grounding. He hesitated but eventually put his hand on Loki’s shoulder, smiling when Loki peeked up at him. “I assure you everything is fine. Álfheimr will not be short changed.”

Loki nodded, and turned back to running trails in Sleipnir’s coat. Nuada retracted his hand and turned away.

Loki stopped him, holding onto his arm.

“Thank you.” He repeated for what was beginning to feel like the millionth time. Nuada cupped his cheek. 

“Anything for you, Loki.”

The rest of their day was spent with Sleipnir. They remained as long as they could before Loki started to feel dizzy, and quite frankly needy. Nuada didn’t need Loki’s push to hurry them back to their chambers where he provided Loki with a good meal whilst soaking in the bath. He sat on the floor besides Loki, eating happily from his own plate as Loki stood in the water, eating from his placed on the rim. The water kept Loki’s temperature down and hindered the primal mental decent quite successfully. Loki murmured a few more thank yous, and Nuada found himself disliking the words more and more.

 

**XxXxXxXx**

The days that followed seemed, to Nuada, to be more about coaxing Loki to be himself rather than coaxing back his health. Fisonna had been right, Loki was indeed fine, the swelling had gone down and he said the slight pain inside when sitting was ebbing away. Nuada had been right too, Loki’s heart was far more damaged.

But as much as he wanted to help Loki be himself, he knew he couldn’t expect or force it either. Loki would need time and patience.

Though he was healing, and making progress physically, the baths did not always work. The heats seemed to know they were being avoided and built up, catching Loki while he was asleep, leading to Nuada being awoken by a very hands on she-cat. The more times Nuada resisted the offer the pushier Loki became, despite being given release. His mind was catching onto the fact that there was no actual sex happening and clearly trying to rectify it, making it harder and harder for Nuada to hold back an erection when Loki seemed to have enough wits about him to gravitate toward that area when he was in the mood.

Loki remembered a little more each time, blurred by hormones and drowsiness, but he acknowledged the fact that Nuada did not penetrate him. Having his humble little thanks was more than enough incentive Nuada needed to keep his own desires in check. Nuada took to jumping in the cold water with Loki, staving off the desires as much as he could without alarming Loki.

Every day Nuada made sure to converse with Loki, rather than being a comforting shadow. He kept Loki mentally occupied, and in the progress, gained some quality time with him. Loki wasn’t at his best but he participated, and it was a promising sign.

“Daenerys.” Loki repeated the strange name, flipping through a big book filled with great beasts concerning their nine realms. It happened to be one of the same books he found but left during his trip to the market that day he visited. How Nuada magicked it here he didn’t bother to ask, and accepted it with a pang of guilt and thanks. The other two sat at the foot of the bed.

“Perhaps one day you may meet her,” Nuada mused, signing a few forms a servant had brought for him concerning some town trades. “She wants to meet you.”

Loki ran his fingers across the detailed depiction of a purple dragon, the colour so foreign to his eyes. He looked up, reclining on the bed, book resting on his elevated knees. “She does? She doesn’t know who I am.”

Nuada paused and blinked, then continued signing with a smile. “Sorry, I forgot to mention I went to Middle Earth after Thor and I were banished.”

It was Loki’s turn to blink, his eye brows shooting up. “Oh. …Why?”

“My father ordered me to go calm down so I don’t do anything stupid, like slap Thor right in front of Odin.” Loki laughed with him this time, a small prize. “I planned to write anyway, so I just took the chance and visited.”

“Are her dragons still alive?” Loki asked, out of all the things he could have asked. Nuada was glad for it.

“Alive and growing. They are nearing maturity now.”

Loki looked at the book, flipping through the pages with interest. Nuada smiled, glad he made those special plans for his gift to Loki. 

“Did you tell her everything?” Loki asked, snapping Nuada from his day dreaming. 

“No, I didn’t. Only the gist. She doesn’t even know you’re technically male, or you name.”

Loki seemed happy with the answer, nodding and looking interested. “Midgard—…Middle Earth is entirely like Asgard?”

“A fair amount, seeing as Asgard has made influences across their lands. Though Jötunheimr is the only realm in our quadrant with a dual sexed race. There is no such thing on Earth. At least not in abundance, or locally. The humans look just like the Asgardians.” 

“Will she hate me for that?”

“No, I don’t think she would. I’m sure she will find you fascinating and beautiful. Like her dragons.”

Loki blushed navy and smiled, turning back to the pages. “…Maybe you can invite her when we celebrate our wedding.”

Nuada looked up in surprise, writing hand hovering in the air.

“One day. If we do…Maybe she can come, if you want her.”

Nuada smiled widely. “I think we would all like that.”

Loki hummed in agreement, rubbing a stain on one of the pages. He frowned lightly. “…I just hope she doesn’t die before then. Don’t they age fast?”

“That is a possibility.” Nuada agreed, slightly saddened. He smiled away the changed. “But we cannot pace ourselves in human years. That would be counter productive.”

“But her dragons, they will live on for centuries, yes? If she is connected to them, won’t they extend her time? Dragons have magic don’t they?”

Nuada stared at him in shock, finding another smile spread across his face. “I do believe that is a plausible theory. I will ask her the next time I talk to her.”

“Just wondering,” Loki smiled from over the book. But his smile faded, and he lowered the book, looking out the window. “Nuada, does everyone know what happened to me?”

A silent groan escaped Nuada. He hesitated. “I honestly don’t know. There are spies and loudmouths in every realm, and many of them happen to be friends with one another because of it. But that also creates lies and rumours, so I am almost certain the true story is lost.” He hesitated again. It was the sixth day Loki had been here, and perhaps it was time to give Loki his belongings. One of the three books he’d wanted at the market was a magic book, perhaps Loki could get back to his studies and practices with his old books and aid.

Nuada finished up his work quicker with that in mind and sent off the permission forms with a servant. He asked for Loki’s things to be brought to their room, and returned to find Loki munching on cakes, two giggling maids leaving the room. 

“Wan’ wun’?” Loki asked, lap and mouth full of cake.

“You eat.” Nuada smiled at him and idled around the room as he waited for the possessions to arrive. Loki followed him with his eyes, staring blankly at his clothing, but enthusiastically shoving the cake down.

There was a knock, and Nuada went to open it.

“Queen Loki’s belongings,” the man whispered, gesturing to the large trunk at their feet.

“Thank you, thank you.” Nuada said, and heaved the trunk inside.

From the bed Loki watched curiously, his chewing slowing as Nuada carried in the heavy box. At first Loki thought maybe it was a bunch of clothes made for him, but then he recognised the craftsmanship to be from his realm and he stopped chewing all together.

Nuada placed it down on the floor at the foot of the bed, just in case Loki didn’t want it crowding his side. He shook his hand afterwards, but he knew for a fact a foreign princess would have carts full of baggage, this was nothing to complain about. All Loki had was one trunk, filled with sentimental things. He suddenly hoped whoever packed his things didn’t leave out something Loki might miss, he should have tried to check first.

“What’s that?” Loki asked, bitterness already sprouting.

“Thrym thought you might want your belongings sent here, to make you feel comfortable.” Nuada said, softly.

Immediately Loki went blank. He pushed the plate of cake away, swallowing, and crawled over to the bottom. He peeked down at the wood as if it were a slumbering beast, capable of awakening at any moment and attacking him.

“…Father let him?” 

“Thrym is…He has stepped forward to his intended place as future king. He was…very, _very_ , upset when he found out what happened. I don’t think anyone told him, because they knew how much he loves you.”

Loki’s face crumbled and he bit back a sob. He climbed off the bed and sunk to the floor, placing a hand on the wood. Nuada sat besides him.

“You don’t have to open it now, you have all the time in the world.”

Loki shook his head, and flipped open the clasp. He lifted the lid carefully, until he met the sight of his books and tools. Loki relaxed, and looked at Nuada with a smile so sweet he did not deserve it. For the next while Loki dug through everything, showing Nuada his random treasures and holding others to his chest.

“Is everything there? Must I write back for something?” Nuada asked.

“No, everything is here. I think Thrym packed it himself.” Loki said happily. “Though I wish he left me a note or something…”

Nuada petted him, smiling back. He didn’t want to show Loki the letter, Thrym was clearly feeling horrible about the whole thing and he felt much like Nuada did; that he did not deserve Loki’s love or forgiveness. If Loki were to read it he would just want to prove Thrym wrong, and that would not be good for Loki.

Thankfully Loki did not hover on the topic. Rather he was transfixed by a small wooden horse he pulled out from a wrapping of leather. The very same horse Nuada had carved for him.

“The horse,” Loki breathed, and then something clicked. “This…it’s yours, isn’t it?”

Nuada nodded, impressed. “Yes, I modelled it after him.”

Loki studied the carving, the wood darkened from when he accidently iced it. He traced his fingers over the smooth contours, and felt a wave of gratitude toward Thrym for sending it, rather than allowing it to be thrown away, or crushed by cruel hands.

“…Can you carve Sleipnir for me?”

There was no containing the surprise on his face. Nuada smiled broadly, handsomely, and Loki tried to return it. 

“Anything for you,” Nuada repeated.

Needless to say a few hours later Loki had two horses trotting around the chamber floors, minding their own business. As well as a herd of round pudgy farm animals that happened to be fleeing from a well crafted dragon. Loki couldn’t help himself, choosing out the best one from his book and watched transfixed as Nuada brought it to life with his hands. A little magic and some imagination later and he was perched on a chair in the middle of the room, watching excitedly as the little dragon chased after the fleeing little beasts.

Loki’s laugh was beautiful, his face when lit up even more so. Nuada realised he would do anything to see that everyday for the rest of his life.

 

“Nuada?”

It was late in the night. Loki was having a difficult few hours, resorting to holding a cooling crystal wrapped in linen to his chest. It was just barely helping, his face flushed, lips wet and swollen and looking absolutely delectable. Nuada cracked his eyes open, reluctantly abandoning his awkward mediation. Loki’s scent of arousal was noticeable. Nuada had been trying to set an example by lying still as stone and breathing calmly, if only to help put Loki at ease.

“Yes, love?”

“You should go settle the union,” Loki breathed, his hair strewn up across the pillow to air his neck out, obliviously worsening things for Nuada.

Nuada frowned. “You’re not well yet.”

“I may never be.” Loki replied, firmly. He breathed deeply, no doubt tasting Nuada’s scent in return. “I don’t know how long it will take. I just want it all over. I can’t rest if I’m still theirs.”

“They cannot take you back now.”

“What if they do?” Loki asked, his voice a wisp beneath his heavy breathing. “What if they come to Álfheimr can demand me back?”

“They won’t. Thrym will not allow it.”

Loki clearly wanted to believe it, and he still shook his head. “Please just go do it… I don’t want any chains lingering on my life.”

Nuada leaned over and cupped his neck, against his better judgement, but the pull was too strong. And it seemed to be just as irresistible for Loki. Loki leaned over the rest of the way and pressed a hard kiss onto Nuada’s lips, snaking a hand straight into his hair. Nuada grunted and let Loki take what he wanted, kissing back as Loki climbed up onto his lap. He stopped then and pulled back, wanting to say no, but Loki shoved the crystal away and crowded him, kissing him again feverously. 

“It hurts.” Loki moaned around kisses and breaths, wincing as he ground his hips down into Nuada’s. There was no stopping his erection this time, but other than stuttering the flow for a few seconds Loki ground back onto it.

“Then we must stop,” Nuada panted when Loki gave him the chance, squeezing the meat of Loki’s shaking thighs.

Loki mewled, a sad pained sound. “It hurts to _stop_ …”

Nuada groaned into the next kiss, pulling Loki’s backside into his neglected ache. Loki’s centre was so warm, so inviting.

“I can feel it…it keeps wanting to take me.” Loki _sobbed_ , and Nuada sobered immediately. He sat up, taking Loki with him. He cradled him close, trying to see his face.

“Loki, dear heart,”

“I don’t want them to catch me when it takes me.” Loki whispered, sliding his arms around Nuada’s neck as he cried. Nuada nuzzled the side of his head as it dawned on him, and he started to rock them.

“Only I will see you this way, ever again. I’ll go settle the matter okay? Then all the realms will be witness and you’ll be free, yes?”

Loki nodded jerkily, crying into his neck. 

“I love you,” Nuada whispered, suddenly, unbridled emotion splashed across those few words. Loki quietened and stilled against him, and Nuada held his breath.

“…Thank you.”

Loki kissed the side of his jaw, and knocked his head lightly against his. It gave Nuada the courage to reaffirm his grip and he hugged Loki sweetly, cradling and caressing the back of his head. Loki picked up the crystal and held it to his belly between them, and they fell into a comfortable sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY FOR FLUFF AND WALKING ON EGGSHELLS. They’re both trying. 
> 
> Also no Loki won’t be meek and quiet forever. He’s been through a traumatic experience so he’s not sure where he stands now. I have another small surprise coming where the Loki we know and love is concerned, sooooon.


	26. A Fall, and a Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Second to last chapter asdhgasgdgadasd imma miss this fic and all you guys *sobs* _~~(writing an actual fantasy trilogy novel would you read it??)~~_
> 
>  
> 
> _I apologise for errors._

** Chapter 26: A Fall, and a Rise **

 

The very next morning Nuada sent his word for Nuala to return home. Loki reminded him to do so, despite having woken up in tears from a nightmare. Nuada wasn’t keen on leaving Loki yet, but perhaps sealing the marriage would help Loki heal, put his mind and fears at rest. He could begin his new life then, and forget his past. One of the keys to healing was moving on, after all.

Merely an hour later signalled the return of his sister, and a surprise.

“Prince Nuada, Princess Nuala and Queen Frigga are here.” 

In bed Nuada sat up abruptly, Loki jumping up with him. They shared a look, and the servant shrugged lightly. 

“Wait here,” Nuada said to Loki, easing himself off the bed. Loki quickly tried to make himself presentable, straightening his pants and gown shirt as he got up to shove the cooling crystal back under the mattress. He lifted a leg twice, unable to decide whether or not to get back on as Nuada slipped out the door.

Instantly Nuada was met with an enthusiastic hug, one he returned. “You did it.” Nuala breathed, covering him in her familiar scent. He smiled and closed his eyes, hugging her tightly as she squeezed him back. A relief he hadn’t realised how much he needed settled over him and he sighed loudly, glad for her safe return.

“I’m alright,” she said, laughing sweetly as his emotions leaked onto hers.

“I am so glad.” he said, releasing her enough to cup her cheeks and kiss her forehead. It was then he noticed Frigga behind her, smiling at them. Nuala sensed his acknowledgment and turned, reaching out to place a hand on Frigga’s arm.

“Lady Frigga has offered to help me watch over Loki when you leave. He will be safe with us.”

“Nuada,” Frigga greeted, bowing her head.

Nuada bowed back. “Queen Frigga.”

“I am glad to hear Loki is healing.”

“Thank you for your watch over my sister.”

“Thank you for giving Thor a chance to help you.” Frigga replied, a strange twinkle in her eyes. Nuada stared at her as it clicked.

“Thank you, my lady. Without your son’s help Loki would not be free, and I fear nor would my sister.”

“I think more that enough damage has been done. I am sorry for everything we have caused you, and Prince Loki. I am truly sorry.”

Nuada accepted her apology with another bow, and let her squeeze his hand. He squeezed back. 

“Is Loki awake?” Nuala asked in a hushed tone, the door slightly ajar.

“He is. But…” He trailed off, looking between them unsurely.

“Yes?” Nuala pressed, worriedly.

“Loki is still far from okay. He’s sensitive and he can be…a bit of a handful.” Between his swinging moods his ruts and his health Loki was indeed a handful. Nuada only realised that when he thought about leaving Loki alone with them.

Frigga waved a hand dismissively, and if you were bold, impatiently. “I am a mother, Nuada, I’m sure I can handle anything.”

Nuala rubbed his arm, and he felt a deep surge of support towards him through their link. “We won’t neglect him, brother, you know this.”

“He’s just very vulnerable. Come.” 

Before the bed inside the room stood Loki, eyes glistening and hands shaking as they entered.

“Oh, Loki.” Nuala got to him first, grabbing his face and pulling him down slightly so she could shower him in kisses. The affection made Loki freeze, but in the good way, and he smiled when she released him. 

Frigga was next, asking with facial gestures for permission before drawing him into a hug, holding his head against her chest. Loki tried to remain relaxed and leaned into it. He remembered her, and though they’d only spoke a few times he couldn’t remember any reason to particularly hate her. Besides maybe birthing Thor.

The women then ushered back him onto the bed. Frigga seemed to notice the cold of the bedding more than Nuala, but sat herself on Nuada’s side of the bed and drew besides him with Nuala seating her self on the other side of Loki. It wasn’t long before Loki started to cry again, his emotional nerves still raw, and the women mourned with him.

“Oh, dear child.” Frigga breathed, petting the back of Loki’s head as she held him close, rocking him as she used to do for Thor when he was a boy. 

Near the bed Nuada’s heart clenched, he could see the proof of it on Nuala’s face, but he steeled himself from moving forward. Loki’s cries were all the more proof of the child he was and it broke Nuada’s heart to the point that he turned away, guilt suffocating him.

“Get us some cakes.” Nuala called, feeling his grief. He glanced at her, their eyes identically wet. He nodded, and left the ladies to cheer Loki up. Loki didn’t see him leave, and by the way he clung to Frigga he didn’t think he would mind his absence for a moment.

“There, there, mother’s here, mother’s here…” she crooned, resting him on her chest, her chin on his head. His body shook in her arms, his tension unravelling with each cry and each tear. 

“’M s-sorry.” He blubbered. 

She petted him pointedly, sharing a heart sore look with Nuala over is head. “No, no, don’t apologize.”

“I shamed y-your son. I shamed the A-Allfather.” He cried, clinging to the front of her dress. He didn’t know what he was saying, maybe he was afraid her kindness only came with his submission, but he did know he was being a little rough, and he couldn’t uncurl his fingers. She was so warm and gentle, so _motherly_. He wanted to pretend this was real, pretend she was his mother and die in her arms, sleep for the rest of time.

“And they shamed you. An eye for an eye.” She insisted, sounding nothing but patient. It made him scared, it made him remember who she was and he pulled back as much as he could to look into her face, looking for something, _anything_. 

“Why…why are you here?” 

From behind him Nuala squeezed his shoulder. “We’re going to stay by you when Nuada goes back to Jötunheimr to settle the marriage arrangement.”

Loki stiffened, and again tried to pull from Frigga but his fingers were stiff in her dress. 

Frigga however, knew what Loki had actually meant. She turned his face back up to meet hers. “Loki, look here. I may not be your mother through blood or a match, but I’ll still be your mother, if you will allow me to be.” She drew him back to her chest and he didn’t object, choking out a new series of reluctant cries as her words sunk in. “I am your mother and Nuala your sister. No matter who turns their back on you we’ll be here, child.”

By the time Nuada came back Loki was still crying. He hesitated, but Frigga urged him forward with a smile. He approached slowly, and when Loki saw him he tried to smile like Frigga as Loki haphazardly wiped his face. Nuada broke their eye contact to give Loki some space and held out the tray, offering them a sweet array of edible happiness. Nuala was first to grab a cake, immediately handing it off to Loki who took it with a mumbled thanks and pushed it into his mouth in hopes of stemming his crying. Frigga’s dress was ruined and he was sure he’d ruined a few of Nuada’s shirts.

Nuada settled down at the bottom of the bed with the tray in hips lap, suddenly feeling useless as Loki leaned against Frigga, chewing his cake and staring off with weary eyes. 

“Odin let you come?” Nuada inquired instead, addressing Frigga while engaging the floor.

She hummed over Loki’s head. “I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”

“Thank you.” He said, and glanced back at Loki—who wasn’t looking very good. He frowned and straightened, alerting Frigga who leaned to look at Loki too. He set the tray aside, and leaned over to look past Nuala.

“Loki?” Frigga asked. Loki was mouthing silently. His eyes were darting about and he started to breathe heavily, and at the last moment Nuada realised what he was going to do. He jumped and grabbed the nearest vase and made it back to the bed with incredible speed just as Loki violently untangled himself from the feminine comfort. He saw what Nuada dashed for and hurried forward to meet it. Loki retched heavily when he grabbed it to his face, kneeling hunched on the floor. Frigga and Nuala calmed when they realised what his outburst was about and patted his back supportively as he vomited again, coughing miserably into the vase.

Nuala looked around guiltily, but Nuada dismissed it with an emotional wave. Loki’s stomach could extremely temperamental without notice.

“Is this normal?” Frigga asked, looking up with a glint in her eyes. “Have your healers assessed him?”

Nuada nodded solemnly and took the vase from Loki when Loki gave the clear. He set it down near the door and headed back to the bed. “I’m afraid so, but it’s no more than once every now and then. It’s just some after effects. There are some that need monitoring.”

Talking about after effects, Loki realised in a stab of panic that he was getting aroused. All the petting and hugging had worn him down without his noticing and his last dunk in the cold was the day before. He couldn’t hear what Nuada was saying, it sounded like a buzz, and the hands rubbing up and down his back were not helping as delicious tingle were working their way into his core. “Nuada…”

“Loki?” Frigga asked, but Loki pulled forward away from them even more. He looked up at Nuada pleadingly.

“…I need…I need a bath…”

Frigga shifted forward. “I can help with that—”

“ _No¬_ -!” Loki cried, frantically, and lurched up. He tumbled, his feet confused, but Nuada just managed to catch him and haul him up straight. He took the opportunity to press his hardening desire into Nuada’s hip and blinked as subtly as possible when his auburn eyes flashed in acknowledgment.

Trying to quell his smile, Nuada pressed Loki’s front against him to keep away even the suspicion to save Loki’s pride, and gave the females an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but Loki becomes ill without a cold bath. Make yourselves at home ladies. Have the servants set out a room for Queen Frigga, Nuala.”

“Alright, we’ll be here if you need help.” Nuala smiled. Loki hid his burning face until they were in the bathroom. 

When they were alone he sighed heavily, disgruntled, and didn’t object when Nuada dipped him straight into the tub. Nuada pulled off his gown afterwards, wringing it out and tossing it aside, and felt around Loki’s face. It was burning, and it was not a good a sign. Nuada sighed, frowning in a way that made Loki worry, and started pulling off his shirt.

Taking it as a hint that he would have company, Loki scooted aside, dipping down to wet his shoulders and neck. His eyes fluttered at the contrast to his warm skin and he ran his hands over his warm body. It didn’t feel good to be this hot and dipped his head in for a few seconds. When he resurfaced Nuada was climbing in, and he drifted back further to give him space despite the area being large.

His travelling hands eventually brushed past his erection, which was already stiff against his belly. He wrapped a hand around it and willed it to go down, but it ignored him and gave a happy throb at the contact. “Shit…why is it so persistent…” he asked rhetorically, and watched Nuada approach through a half lidded gaze. 

“The best way to heal the body after mending it is to keep trying to use it. Your body is going to keep trying.” Nuada said, and cupped Loki’s face with both hands and tilted his head back as if admiring his face.

“I can’t keep getting erections if your sister and Frigga are going to be here!” Loki hissed weakly, and released his erection to grab onto Nuada’s arms where they would cause less mischief.

“Frigga has endured raising a very promiscuous and childish son; I’m sure she’s seen it all. She has already said she can handle anything while I’m gone.” Nuada didn’t sound as convinced as he should, and Loki caught it. He whined and glanced down at the water.

“Can the water get any colder? It won’t go down.”

With no more crystals to drop to the bottom of the tub the water wouldn’t get any colder and Nuada cringed with a shake of his head. Loki groaned and pulled out of his grasp and pressed both hands down his stomach. It was obvious what need be done, so Nuada reached for the salve to get two jobs done at once. “Let me put the last of the salve while we’re here.” 

Loki didn’t bother arguing at the mention of being penetrated, fingers or not. He pulled an angry face at Nuada for mentioning it with his sister and Frigga there, and at himself for the sudden excitement of being pleasured, _with_ others oblivious just outside. And he was calling it pleasure now, dear Norns what had he become.

Lost in his thoughts Loki had to be turned by Nuada, but he complied and quickly took up his stance, eagerly pushing his rump out. He braced himself against the rim of the tub and tried not to reach down and grope himself as Nuada parted one of his cheeks and pressed his fingers up. They were coated with the thick salve and being already aroused, Loki was wet and he entered easily. The sliding sent shocks through to Loki’s cock and he gave a low groan into the air

“Nuada…”

“Be still, you’ll hurt your inners.” 

“Hnngh…” It was more than difficult to be still as those long fingers worked in and out, circling in that way he loved. He was healed now, six days later, he was sure a few _Elven_ fingers could do no danger. “Nuada, you’re making it worse—No, don’t _stop_.” He began to move back, rolling his hips into Nuada’s hand. A hand clamped on his hip to stop his moving but he persisted and leaned back to feel Nuada against his back.

“Loki.” Nuada said warningly, his own blood starting to boil.

“Nuada…Nuada please…” Loki panted. He ground back, feeling Nuada’s knuckles pressing into his cheeks. But then Nuada wrapped an arm around him and stood them in a way that Loki couldn’t move and pulled out his fingers to recoat them.

The emptiness didn’t settle right in his burning body and he splashed angrily. “No! Nuada please!”

“Shh, it’s okay, young one.” Nuada breathed into his ear, “You must be quiet.”

“I need...” he whined as softly as he could, glancing with Nuada towards the door. He breathed heavily, pressing back heavily into Nuada’s body.

“I know, I know, but we must be gentle with you.”

An enraged whine escaped Loki and he hit back into Nuada’s chest, but the water cushioned the blow. _Gentle_? Ridiculous. He had taken much worse and Nuada knew it. He wasn’t weak, he wasn’t _weak_

His need was getting stronger the more he embraced the fact that he _wanted_ Nuada’s touch, and when Nuada finally pressed his fingers back in he turned his head and parted his lips. He wasn’t disappointed this time and Nuada captured his lips in a wet kiss. Nuada pressed his fingers as far as they could go and circled them, holding Loki still as he bucked helplessly. He pulled back to croon into his ear and kiss the side of his throat, nipping along his pulse. The nibbles sent Loki yowling and Nuada slapped a hand over his mouth. Loki’s eyes went wide and he squeaked, but whined angrily when Nuada slipped out his fingers. Before Loki could start struggling he pulled Loki’s arse into his lap and pressed him back into his own very neglected erection.

Instantly Loki went still, remembering all the things such an appendage on another could do to him, good and bad, but this was Nuada, and he slowly pressed back into his clothed crotch, shamelessly and callously. Maybe Nuada would take him in the water. Maybe it would feel good. Maybe it would cure him? 

“Can I?” Nuada panted, his heartbeat thudding through his ribcage and vibrating onto Loki’s back. The lower hand snaked its way around and closed over Loki cock, and Loki’s world exploded.

“Yes, yes fuck!” Loki’s screeched into his hand, muffled and desperate

“Shh, love,” Nuada whispered excitedly,, glancing at the door. Loki moaned as if to say “I can’t help it”, but did try to soften the sounds he made as Nuada stroked him. 

He hummed into Nuada’s hand and started pushing himself against Nuada’s hardness when he realised he wouldn’t be penetrated. And for once Nuada didn’t reject the offer, and started grinding forward for his own pleasure. Loki’s reactions were nothing short of attractive no matter how responsible and caring Nuada wanted to be, and he too couldn’t waltz out with an erection in front of the ladies. Thankfully though, Loki didn’t seem to object, whether he was thinking the same thing or not, and ground back into him. So wanton, so needy, so tempting…

Loki moved himself in Nuada’s palm and enjoyed the thrill of his erection pressing against him, but not _in_ him. Nuada’s fingers dug into his cheek but it felt good and he moaned, his eyes falling closed—

Then suddenly Nuada bit his shoulder and he screamed, releasing his tension and desire into the water as Nuada’s hand tugged and tugged. He pressed back into Nuada who helped him ride out his orgasm with a good few strokes, and then stilled against him when he found his own. Loki moaned weakly when he heard Nuada’s breath hitch, and rolled his head back to the side and rested it on Nuada’s.

Slowly Nuada’s hand slipped from his face and sunk to slip around his waist. They panted against each other for a moment until Loki chuckled lightly. “I s-sincerely hope we weren’t h-heard...”

Nuada smiled against his shoulder, and Loki smiled in return. Nuada kissed his shoulder gently, lovingly, and hugged him from the back. “How are feeling?”

“Honestly,” Loki breathed, “I might throw up again…”

Nuada pulled back, but pulled him with. “Then let’s be out of the water when you do.”

Loki didn’t end up vomiting and stood still as Nuada fluffed a towel around him to dry him, then dress him in a spare night gown. Nuada then shed his own wet clothes and dried off, turning around when Loki didn’t bother to look away. They might just have been intimate, but there was a difference to it than openly displaying it. He smiled at the small smirk that spread across Loki’s face and wondered if he was conscious or not, but it was mischievous, not wanton. Clearly conscious. Loki plopped down on the floor after a while to ease the shaking feeling in his joints. He watched Nuada dry his chiselled body then frowned when he went to the door, wrapping a towel around his middle. He eased the door open the tiniest bit and leaned over.

“Nuala?”

“Yes?” She replied from somewhere in the room.

“Could you bring me a pair of trousers and a shirt? I didn’t think to take with me.” He said, a smile on his face as if he were reminiscing. They heard a pad and then footsteps, a creak of a door, and then more footsteps and a pale hand stuck through the gap with a bunch of clothing. Nuada took it and grabbed her fingers playfully, making her giggle and swat him away. She shut the door on him and he jumped forward, and Loki sat wondering if she felt through the link what they had done. He didn’t dare ask.

Nuada dropped the towel and kicked on his pants, eyeing Loki from the side and receiving a I-didn’t-do-anything glance.

When it looked like he was ready to go Loki pushed to his feet, a little off-balance, and accepting Nuada’s hand to steady himself.

“Nuada, I don’t know if you can leave me like this, not with them.” He said grudgingly, glancing at the door, and feeling like a burden. How would he handle his sudden bouts of arousal if he couldn’t even control himself? Grinding got him off just as well as sex did but that was the problem, what if he got stuck on Frigga or Nuala like earlier and his body won the battle? He’d never be able to live down the shame, he’d jump off the Bifrost and slit his throat on the way down.

Nuada squeezed his arms, but Loki felt the plea in them. “It won’t take too long, a few hours.”

“Nuada if I’m reacting like this I don’t care how many penises or soiled pants Frigga has seen. I can’t be like this around them.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll find a solution.”

“Like what?”

“Maybe we’ll induce sleep while I’m gone. That way the worst you’ll do is rut against the bedding, but we’ll wrap you up tight. I’ll be as quick as possible.” He promised, and in a sudden silly moment of affection he pecked Loki on the lips. He pulled back quickly, but apart from looking surprised Loki didn’t push him away.

“…Thank you.” Loki pecked him back.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

Leaving Loki in his state made Nuada nervous, and Loki clearly shared the sentiment. He wanted to turn right back around and hurry back to Loki’s side, but the sooner he got this done the sooner he could aid Loki for the rest of his days. Sylthal concocted a strong sleeping draught and it sent Loki off into a slumber before his head hit the pillow. Nuada wrapped him up tightly in the blankets with a cooling crystal along each layer so they kept Loki as cold as possible. The moment his temperature rose his body would take it as a hint to try to procreate, and he too didn’t want Nuala or Frigga there to witness such a thing.

Once Loki was asleep Nuada tried to resolve their confusion on the pride-hitting matter as gentle as possible, and they agreed to give Loki his space. While it was to save Loki’s pride, they also had to be careful. Loki _was_ male in their standards, the chance of him taking advantage of them was a possibility, even if it was tiny due to Jotun sexuality.

With a few guardsmen at his side (save for Egill, he would remain in Álfheimr to watch Nuala and Loki) Nuada arrived at Heimdall’s Observatory.

“I see Loki is well. I am glad for that.” Heimdall greeted, offering a warm smile. Nuada smiled down and bowed.

“Yes. And again I thank you. I hope I did not cause you harsh punishment, Great Heimdall.”

Heimdall chuckled. “No, prince, you did not. But thank you for your concern.” He shared a smile with Nuada, then sobered seriously. “Your father waits in Odin’s throne room.”

“Thank you.” Nuada nodded, and led his men toward the palace. He briefly greeted all the Asgardians who chose to greet him, and made it to his destination without incident. To his relief neither Odin nor Thor was insight, but there were a group of Asgardian warriors standing with Balor and his maids, who looked relieved when he walked in.

“Father. I believe your presence is requested by Laufey as well.” He said, formally, walking forward to meet his father who started towards him.

“Nuada, my son—”

“Father, please.” Nuada ground out. He hated being disrespectful but he did not want to hear his father’s words unless they were supportive. There was no way he was sending Loki back and in fact, neither was he sending Nuala back. They were both in Álfheimr and that’s where they would stay. 

“I am glad you are well,” Balor said, frowning up at him. Nuada sighed through his nose and took his father’s arm in his. 

“As I you, Father.”

Balor smiled weakly, and at the last minute gestured to the Asgardian guards. “Odin has provided us with added safety on our trip. I think we should accept it.”

Nuada sighed again through his nose, glancing around the men, but Egill’s second in command gave him a nod, and he agreed, and they made their way to Jötunheimr.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

Hours later of settling terms Nuada was edgy and irritable, but just cautious enough to continue being formal. He had honestly steeled himself for Thrym’s wrath, and all Jötunheimr’s, but he received neither. The air was incredibly tense each second they were there, that much was obvious, but if anyone had a problem with his taking Loki they did not voice it, warrior or servant or royal. Their faces spoke much, but Nuada assumed Thrym had something to do with their silence.

That brought Nuada back to a matter he needed to clarify. He trusted Thrym, but the man was inexperienced for the task he was taking. True he may have learned the motions, but _dealing_ with it yourself was something else entirely. He didn’t want to risk Loki’s safety for anything. 

“And we have your word, now that Loki will be a citizen of Álfheimr and my partner that no Jotun can come forward and try to fight for a claim on him?” Nuada aimed the question at both father and son. “Because if I even catch a whiff anyone even thinking Loki’s way I will end their lives if they dare breach Álfheimr soil, or confront Loki on _any_ neutral land not of Álfheimr or Jötunheimr.”

Not that Nuada would allow Loki to be in a place where he could be cornered by anyone, but best to voice it.

Thrym pulled a sour expression, his reasons his own, scribbling his name over the marital forms as witness. “You have our word.”

“Thank you.”

When he was done Laufey signed the scrolls of permission to wed over Loki, and thrust it back at Thrym who handed it to Nuada. Nuada pressed his lips together to reframe from thrusting obscenities back across and wrote down his full name and signature with as much accuracy as possible, just to annoy Laufey.

Balor sat quietly, and had been sitting quietly for most of the talks. Initially he had planned to delve in all the details with Laufey once they got the match, but Nuada and Thrym jumped straight into it and did just—if not a better—a job as they would have. He was impressed, and sat quietly for his son to put forth his passion in the matter in a most kingly manner. He wished the other realms were here to hear him.

For Nuada, he glad his father hadn’t butted in to argue against him and favour Laufey in his apparent desperation for a realm merger, and surprisingly there was no animosity from him. He glanced a few times at his father but the man sat quietly, eyes in his lap, twiddling his fingers in a patient, almost content manner. It did not seem fake, as if he was hiding his hurt, but rather resigned. Nuada felt guilty at being hard but perhaps his father finally understood.

Once his name was done he offered it back, but it was declined. “All that is left is Loki’s signature.” Thrym said, his hard political mask slipping now that formalities were out of the way. Nuada had found a very new Thrym in the place of the one he had come to know, but he also saw it only appeared entirely when Laufey was involved. Nuada tried his best to be respectful and patient to the younger prince for he was the man responsible for everything, and here he was signing the papers to take his brother away forever. 

“What of a ceremony?” Balor suddenly asked, only wanting the best for his son and his new queen. Surely he would want a celebration to mark the day. Laufey, despite looking depressed, raised a brow and looked between them.

But Nuada shook his head, the thought repulsive.

“Loki will not want one. I don’t think he will want to set foot in Jötunheimr again. We’ll appreciate if we don’t press the subject either.” Jötunheimr had a fair foot in the door for realm merging advantages and Nuada was prepared to see they got what was bargained for, but nothing more. If Loki never wanted to see Jötunheimr again then he wouldn’t, least of all return here to have a ceremony where he’d be looked upon by the same men that vandalised him. If he wanted a ceremony then he would have one, but it would be on Loki’s terms.

Laufey huffed, probably wonder just who Nuada thought he was, but he didn’t argue. “Fine, as long as it’s in writing.” He grumbled. Thrym nodded.

Nuada smiled as humbly as he could to Thrym and rolled up the scrolls. “I’ll have messenger return these once they’ve been signed.”

Laufey had looked grumpy since the start, and finally now that formal matters where settled he shifted, looking almost uncomfortable in his own skin. It didn’t look like news to Thrym who had been treating his father like a petulant child, but it was a surprise to Nuada.

“Is he well?” Laufey dared to ask, ignoring the automatic growl from his son. 

Nuada took a moment to debate an answer. “No,” he said honestly, enjoying the strange spark of worry that flashed across Laufey’s face, “but I’ll make sure he recovers. And no, he isn’t pregnant. And if anyone doesn’t believe that you will have your proof in a few months through the honourless spies skulking about.” 

A scowl that said he wasn’t interested in that matter rose upon the Jotun king’s face, almost fooling Nuada, and but nodded. Thrym looked beyond relief, his mask forgotten and leaving his sadness plastered across his face.

“Loki misses you,” Nuada said to Thrym, who perked up. “…He’d like you to write to him.”

“I will, I will.”

Then Nuada glanced at Laufey, making sure to include him. “I’d also like to request a builder to come and create a room of ice that he might escape to should our climate disagree with him.” 

Thrym nodded. “We’ll send a sorcerer as well to make it permanent. What about a healer to check on him periodically?”

“Our head healer is well versed on Jotun kind and with Loki’s presence all training staff will learn Jotun healing from now on as well. But should we encounter a problem I will ask for an experienced healer.” Nuada assured, and scoffed inwardly as Laufey sat looking lost for words, torn between reaching over the table and punching his nose in, and possibly admitting if he worried for his child. All Laufey could muster around the topic was a grunt, “Good…” 

It was time to leave. Nuada wished he could be alone with Thrym and explain everything to him and hear what was going on it Jötunheimr but there was no time now. He needed to get back to Loki, and Balor looked like he was half asleep.

“I need to leave. Loki needs aid often.” Maybe just press it in a little more, _bastard_. He felt a little, albeit empty, satisfaction as Laufey squirmed.

“Of course, we’re done. You may leave. Thank you, Nuada. King Balor.” Thrym rose with him, giving them a formal and respectable goodbye. Laufey grudgingly followed his example.

Nuada helped Balor up, the maids already sent back to Álfheimr before they got here. He smiled at Thrym. “I will send back the forms soon.”

“Stay well. Keep my brother well.” Thrym smiled back, his eyes wet. Nuada decided he would send a detailed letter back too.

The Asgardians looked more than happy that the meeting was over and led them out as fast as Balor’s old legs would allow them, the Elf guard following behind them. Heimdall was waiting and opened the Bifrost immediately and brought them back to Asgard. Once on the bridge Nuada dismissed the Aesir guard. 

He looked up at Heimdall to send them Álfheimr, but then Balor pulled on his arm, suddenly looking drained. Had he been like his before he left? There was a strange look in on Heimdall’s face, and Nuada’s gut dropped.

“I am proud of you, Nuada. You will be…be a better king than I. I told Laufey that in our first meeting, and in our last you proved it.”

A heavy breath escaped Nuada, and grabbed onto his father’s arms as if he could stop what was happening. “Father—”

“No, no,” Balor cupped his face, hands bony and papery, his smile tired but genuine. “A king holds his head high, my son.” 

‘ _Not now!_ ’ Nuada wanted to shout, he suddenly felt like a little boy, but all that came out were apologies. “I am sorry, I’m sorry—”

Heimdall had stepped down slowly from his stand, remaining a respectful distance away as bowed his head.

“Nuada, hush.” Balor wiped his fingers down the front of Nuada’s face, and Nuada went still. It was an age old blessing from father to son, one only given at a time of parting.

“No—” Nuada rasped, and a horrid panic overcame him as he hurried to catch his falling father. “No, no, no, father, _no_ —” 

“My son…” Balor rasped, looking nothing short of content as he collapsed, lifting his hands to feel his son’s face. He wanted to sooth his panic and his tears for they both knew this time was near, but now that Nuada was ready he could finally leave. But that didn’t stop a frightened son from trying to stop it.

“Heimdall!” Nuada called, shaking his head in denial. The Gatekeeper was already on his way, and helped him rush Balor up into the palace where Odin was alerted. But one look at the old king and Odin knew there was nothing any of the realms’ healers could do.

At his bedside, caring not for his audience of Odin and Thor hovering nearby, Nuada knelt and held his father’s hand to his chest. “Father please, I’ve still so much to learn from you.”

Balor shook his head slowly, a weak smile on his face. “You are wise my son, you are wise.” His milky eyes turned to where Odin stood, “Odin…”

The Allfather stepped forward, looking solemn. “Yes, Balor? What is it?”

“Please…don’t make an enemy… of my son…help him…guide him…”

“I will, Balor.” Odin said, but Nuada couldn’t care less about Odin. He squeezed his father’s hand as if it would hold him in their world. Thor stood quietly back, head bowed and hands clasped behind him.

“Father, please.” Nuada begged through grit teeth, unable to hold back the tears that ran down his cheeks.

“Look after your sister…as you have all these years... You’ve made me _so_ proud.” Balor said, sighing for the last time, and his chest never rose again. 

Nuada inhaled sharply through his nose and the entire room bowed their heads. The Elves dropped to their knees in mourning, sharing soft sobs with their prince. Thor himself got down on one knee without being asked to, and kept his eyes on the floor, away from both his father and Nuada. 

Like all Elves when they died, the king’s lifeless body took on the likeliness of a statue. His body hardened, starting from his legs and up to his head, his entire form combining into a smooth marble that would last for millennia to come for their history to remember. Countless times Nuada had imagined watching this, but it didn’t make it any less painful. This was it, his father had moved on. He had prepared, he had spoken long into the nights with his father, but it still hurt. His hands were shaking when he placed his father’s back on his chest before they could turn, but at least he kept his breathing under control. 

No one said a word until Nuada rose to his feet, his eyes dried and his jaw set. He looked down at his father, that great old man that ruled Álfheimr for countless centuries and made him into the great man he was today. 

The Elven people remained on the floor, but Thor chose to stand as well.

Odin stepped forward and patted Nuada’s shoulder. “I am sorry, Nuada.”

Nuada sniffed and swallowed, staring down blankly. “…I’d like to return to my sister. And Loki. Whatever there is to discuss please leave it to another day.”

“Of course.” Odin nodded, and glanced at the bed where the old king lay, “Shall we prepare your father?”

“I’ll send certified members of our court to fetch him.” Nuada turned and nodded curtly at Odin, but his eyes hard and far away, and so was his heart. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Our land is always open to you and your people.” Odin said, but Nuada didn’t bother to believe it or accept it. He just nodded. “Please allow the guards to remain with my father’s body until the council arrives for it.”

“Certainly.” 

Thor wandered over, looking like the child Nuada always knew he was. He gave Thor a moment to speak. “I-I am sorry for your loss, Prince Nuada.”

“ _King_ Nuada,” Odin corrected, placing a hand on Thor’s shoulder. “Once an Elven king passes his heir takes the throne immediately.”

Thor nodded in the information and looked to his feet to escape Nuada’s blank gaze. Nuada nodded once more, and took his leave.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

In Álfheimr the very moment King Balor passed from the land of the living a jolt went through the realm. Every man, women and child felt it, it was like a stopper to their hearts for a mere second, and instinctively their thoughts turned to their fallen king. Simultaneously the realm came to a horrid standstill that left them yeaning for comfort, and the mourning began. All across the realm heads bowed in grief and respect, and countless prayers covered the land at once.

Nuala had been setting fresh flowers in beautifully crafted vases much like the one Loki had chucked into when she felt it, and it crashed to the floor. The vase was fragile and shattered instantly, glittering the floor in a speckled cascade. Her face crumpled and her shaking hands lifted to cover the gasp that choked forward.

Loki was on the bed with Frigga, having woken up a half hour back, and they turned abruptly at the crash. “Nuala?” Loki asked, automatically fearing the worst; that something happened to Nuada. But Nuala herself was still standing and that eased his fears somewhat against physical harm. He tried to get up to go to her but Frigga stopped him, getting up herself. She hurried to Nuala, careful of the clutter on the floor and took hold of her.

“Nuala? My dear, what happened?”

Nuala struggled to breathe as shocked gasps escaped her. She tried her best not to sob as her heart wrenched painfully from her connection with her father, and feeling Nuada’s pain through the link. She kept tapping a hand over her mouth, unable to make coherent sounds as she stained her face and hands with tears. Frigga fretted around her, unsure of what to do until she managed to get a hold on her voice. “…My father. He is…dead.”

Frigga gasped loudly, raising her own hands to her lips before pulling Nuala into a hug. 

“What? How?” Loki kneeled up on the bed abruptly. Balor was dead? Had Laufey ordered their deaths? Was Nuada stuck on Jötunheimr fighting for his life? If Nuada died, Nuala would die, and with Balor dead, there was nothing holding him to Álfheimr, they’d send him back to Jötunheimr. Or maybe Frigga would take pity on him—but that would lead him right back to Thor. He knew it was selfish thinking but the only person that was on his side might just be dying, he felt the right to feel selfish. 

Overcome with grief Nuala cried and shook her head frantically. “I don’t know—! I just…I can feel it…!”

“Do you think Jötunheimr attacked?” Loki asked, worriedly.

Frigga shook her head, and Nuala copied her action as she searched the link for clues. “I don’t think so. Nuada should return soon, he’ll explain it…”

The wait for Nuada was not long. While they waited, Frigga trying to console Nuala, servants came in and out to cry their own condolences to Nuala. She had calmed down quicker than Loki thought he would, and tried her best to show a strong face to her people. It must have hurt her a great deal more though as Balor was not just her king but her _father_. 

Loki didn’t know if he would cry when Laufey died.

When Nuada entered, Nuala was in his arms instantly. Before he even entered she was on her feet, sensing him and rushed forward, and he was ready for her. She broke down again and cried into his neck. Nuada looked distraught but he didn’t shed a tear and held her close until she chose to part, kissing every corner of her face as he murmured his love and never ending devotion.

Loki thought maybe he would cry if Nuada died.

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

 

That night, Loki lay with Nuada in his sorrow. The silence between them had never been heavier, but this time it wasn’t because of their relationship. Only once Nuala left to her room with Frigga did Nuada allow himself a few weak gasps, but he was reluctant to show them to Loki. He wanted to be strong for Loki, he didn’t want Loki to doubt him, but when Loki pulled him to his chest and held him the way he had always held another, he let his heart weep. As if a mighty gust of wind would storm by and separate them Loki held Nuada tightly, tucked under his chin and lying on his.

Neither said anything for a long time, and they didn’t need to. Nuada was hurting and while Loki hadn’t known Balor, he would respect Nuada’s grieving for his father. Seeing Nuada so unhinged even with a calm mask was frightening and Loki found a bit of strength inside himself that he wasn’t entirely sure was there to stay strong when Nuada faltered. The royal Álfheimr court had retrieved their king’s body and it would be laid to rest the next day, the court could be up all night planning the ceremony.

Trailing the contours of Loki’s beautiful face, Nuada watched up from his chest, calm and quiet with retiring melancholy. Loki looked back at him with sleepy eyes, kissing his fingers when they passed by his lips. Loki’s fingers did their own exploring and combed lightly through Nuada’s pin straight hair, taking in its contrast to his own. Should they one day have children he again wondered what they would look like. He had a feeling his skin tone would be difficult to dominate, but maybe the babies would have the Elves’ fair hair, and their eyes. And if they were lucky their children would inherit the Elves build, although it might benefit the Elves to have a line of large royal warriors. Nuada might be proud to have a few big mighty sons to his legacy, like Odin had his Thor. But they were to never go Jötunheimr, Loki decided, especially not if they inherit even a bit of beauty. It would be destroyed, because that’s what Jotuns did no matter what excuse you made. Odin had his reasons for how treated them and Loki wasn’t about to tell him he was wrong.

“…Did you get to say goodbye?” he asked gently. 

“…Yes. I was fortunate.” Nuada thanked himself for not being stubborn and remaining on Álfheimr like he wanted to or he would have missed his father’s passing. He might not have been able to forgive himself for that. In fact, he had Loki to thank for the push. “Thank you,” he said, “For suggesting I go. You helped me be there for him.”

Loki shrug-smiled, and changed the subject. “Your father seemed like a good man.” he said, tracing his fingers on Nuada’s forehead. 

“He was…Thank you, for being here.” Nuada rubbed his fingers under Loki’s chin, his eyes searching, but tired.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Loki countered, daring a smile, “I should have let you have me sooner.” He tried to sound it as a sassy comment, but he meant it, and ground back the regret. Nuada looked slightly pained when his thoughts drifted into the same region and he brought his fingers down to spread across Loki’s throat, finding his pulse. 

“I will have you when you will have me too. You are strong, my love. Stay with me?” he asked, but without the push. He had no desire to force Loki into his home, he would much rather see him away if it made him truly happy, but having almost fixed the union he felt he needed to at least ask Loki for his permission, and deal with rejection should Loki give it. The scrolls lay forgotten in his pockets for the entire afternoon, but once they floated back into his mind he suddenly felt the powerful urge to tell Loki that he was free, and then hold him close and beg him to stay.

Loki knew he couldn’t quite refuse the marriage, he had no home to go back to unless he was prepared to breed the next generation’s best warriors. Nuada had done too much for him, much too much, and maybe having that as his own wouldn’t be bad. The way Nuada looked at his sister, willing to do anything for her, made Loki’s chest warm as that had been sent his way too, but he’d been too hard to see it. Their days were only still young and yet Nuada had gifted him with the devotion he hadn’t even earned, and it could only get stronger. He would be a complete fool to throw away this chance.

“I’ll stay with you.” 

Nuada smiled, a crumpled but glad smile, and traced one of Loki’s rune family lines. “…I’m having a frozen room built for you.”

Loki smiled in surprise, his heart skipping a beat at yet another thoughtful gesture. But his heart sunk a second after, he doubted his ability to return it. “…Don’t have it too far from your room, I like your company.”

“I’ll make it this room if you wish it. _Our_ room.”

“No, I have a special connection with the wood on the floors here. I’d hate to see them buried.” Loki teased, and cupped Nuada’s face. Being brave, finding no impatience from Nuada, he lifted his head and kissed Nuada chastely, just enough to let him know he cared. After everything, how could he not?

Nuada leaned forward for a few seconds more of his lips before letting Loki lean away, his eyes searching. 

“…Make me great.” Loki said, licking his lips with a firm gaze, “Make me the greatest queen these realms will ever see.”

“You will be, you will be.” Nuada murmured, and lifted himself to lean directly over Loki who opened his mouth, but Nuada aimed for the side of his mouth with soft nibbles. “You will be, because you are already great.”

“You’re greater,” Loki breathed, guiding Nuada’s warm mouth to his neck. Slick warmth lapped along his pulse and he welcomed it, and bit Nuada’s ear lobe with a growl. A hand rubbed down his flank and squeezed the junction of his thigh and his buttocks. He lifted his hips into it, into Nuada’s heat, into the King of Álfheimr. _His_ king. His handsome selfless husband…

“Let’s sign those papers,” Loki panted, twisting a hand in Nuada’s hair and licking up his jaw line, “I’d like to be wed before my next mate with my husband.”

Nuada growled wantonly at his words and struggled to keep from ravishing his mouth, panting down at him with dark eyes. “We mate when you are ready.”

Loki’s lips quirked and he nipped on Nuada’s lip, twisting his fingers harder. “Always the hero. Maybe my body demands different.”

To that Nuada laughed and pressed his forehead to Loki’s, rubbing their noses together, “Always the rebel. Maybe your body needs another bath.”

Loki pretended to groan, but snorted into a small laugh as his body taunted him with a guilty flare. “Yes, maybe that is due.”

Smiling into his lovely Loki, Nuada pulled him up into a hug, folding Loki into him. “My love…”

 

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last! With two big (three?) cameos omg so excited *wheeze*
> 
> RIP King Balor. Finally.
> 
> Also is anyone here a Tolkien expert? I miiiiiight want to write a short fic where drama queen Loki waltzes into Middle Earth and decides to play house with weirdly intrigued Azog and bitter teen emo Bolg (lmfao step moms right?) while the Hobbit is going. So I need to ask a few questions and get advice on the canon if I want it to work. 
> 
> So, if you can offer a little filling in let me know where to contact you? Please and thank you kindly OuO


	27. Endings Make Place for New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> It’s been a crazy fic. I tend to write those lol. 
> 
> _I apologise for errors_.

** Chapter 27: Endings Make Place for New Beginnings**

 

The next morning brought the servants in early. They woke the now officially royal couple and reminded them that Balor’s ceremony was being held today, they needed to get up. Nuada rose instantly, leaving the servants to wait on Loki who couldn’t help being slower thanks to the interference in his body. The servants were kind though and waited on him hand and foot while another team rushed around Nuada and dressed him in the most royal of attires. When they were done he looked nothing sort of a god, glowing in glory and wearing his family heirlooms. Loki made a mental note to sit down and properly study his new home.

Loki was dressed, with his permission, in exuberant clothing fit for no less than a queen. Though it was nearly the opposite of Jotun dressing, it didn’t make him feel vulnerable or overdressed. Elves covered their bodies far past what Jotuns saw as modesty but it felt good to be covered, for once, in fine layers of the most expensive cotton and silk in the realms. And for the first time, he was dressed in white—and he looked magnificent. He couldn’t put it in words, and it seemed neither could the servants as they looked over him in awe. 

His figure was highlighted well, the dress tightened around his waist and flowing out in many free flowing pieces that resembled long leaves, gathered at his feet, which were barefoot but covered in tiny decorative gems and toe rings. The dress went up to his neck in a white band, leaving his arms bare and encased with loose spiral bands lined with jewels that shone in the light. His hair was done up into a bun with a few strands hanging lose over his temples. It highlighted his face beautifully and when they were done he almost didn’t recognise himself were it not that he was the only blue being in the room. The Elven women looked as mesmerized as he did, and when Nuada saw him he tripped over his words in a most uncharacteristic way.

Then to finish off the job Nuada brought forth the very same necklace he had tried to buy for him that day he visited, the necklace made of white gold and encrusted with emeralds. Like the books Loki didn’t dare argue and accepted it, in awe himself by the way it looked over his dress.

The ladies giggled around them and fawned over Loki, telling how beautiful he was and how they were honoured to have a new queen for it had been many sad years without one. Their welcome was warming; he could find no ill harbour behind their smiles. It was comforting, and soon Nuala and Frigga rejoined them in the room just before they had to leave. Nuala looked as dazzling as Loki expected, dressed in blue and shining like royalty. Her hair was up too and a dark veil hung down to her back, a symbol of her personal loss. Frigga was dressed too in Elven clothing and looking no less beautiful, and Loki wondered what Odin would think for surely he’d be here to attend the funeral and fetch his absconding wife.

When the servants left, Nuada took the chance to bow to Frigga, a shrug in his gait as there was no changing his decision. “I’m sorry Queen Frigga, but I will not allow Nuala to be betrothed to Thor. Ever. ”

“Brother…” Nuala bowed her head, her cheeks flushing. Loki now knew for certain the royal Asgard men were coming. He was glad that Nuada was being so adamant though, he would not allow her to be Thor’s either. Even if Thor did help rescue him, he was still capable of worse.

“No, I will not have it. I am sorry, Allmother. But surely you understand my reasoning.”

Frigga smiled a sad smile and patted his arm. “It’s okay, Nuada, I bear no ill will. It’s Odin you have to fear concerning that.”

“I am sorry.” He repeated, and kissed her hand respectfully. He turned to his sister and held out his left arm, “Sister?”

She hooked hers in his, and simultaneously they looked at Loki. Nuada held out his right arm, and Loki took it with hesitance. Nuada smiled proudly between his beauties and kissed both on the cheek, and they left together to attend the ceremony.

 

When they arrived the Great Hall was already filled with people. Royalty and people of significance from all corners of the realms where gathered to pay their respects. The Álfheimr guard were plentiful and on alert should any trouble arise with the many, many powerful faces. Nuala slipped off to greet the visitors and Frigga disappeared off to find her husband who was rumoured to be about, so Nuada took the chance to ease Loki into the bustle with a gentle hand on his waist.

“There are a lot of people attending.” Loki noted, suddenly feeling overdressed despite _everyone_ being so. He felt like he was back during the start of the competition, only he was now part of the crowd.

“You may remain in our quarters if you wish? I don’t want you to feel exposed. The realms have many rumours about our current happenings and while I cannot stop it from being muttered behind our backs I’d rather you not be faced with it.” 

Loki shook his head, but looked around for a more worrying matter. “Jötunheimr?” he asked, reluctantly. There were no blue faces so far, and he didn’t want to see any. Maybe Thrym, he did miss his sassy self, but he wouldn’t be able to keep from trying to melt into the floor if he was faced with one of the warriors or his father. He had assured Nuada he would be here, and he would.

Nuada squeezed his side. “Your father declined the offer. Just as well. I didn’t want to have to hint for him to stay away. No one particularly wants him here.”

“Then I shall survive this. It’s to honour your father.” Loki nodded, as if to convince himself, and made a small sound and a shrug as an after thought. “And show everyone I’m not broken in half.”

“Just know I will not be offended if you excuse yourself. Or possibly chuck a glass at someone’s face and storm off.” Nuada smirked against him, and Loki smirked with him, already feeling a little more at home.

“I’ll behave.” He promised.

A short while was spent greeting various royalty of the realm. Or rather, just those brave enough to approach them, which ended up being mostly council members. Loki could see the thought in their eyes, watching him from afar, _wondering_ things. It made anger bubble in his chest, but Nuada always leaned in, whispering strength and helping to distract him from the poorly concealed watchers. There was still a fleeting moment that made Loki want to kick them all over the edge of the palace cliff and into the water, but it was Byleistr’s voice that stilled him.

 _Friends_. Byleistr said friends were the key to a powerful rule. He had said to make friends, to bring people onto his side, his cause, make them like him. Allies…allies were always useful…

“Heyyy Nuadaaa!”

They turned at the loud call full of buck and implications. Loki’s jaw fell faster than he thought was realistically possible and he almost stumbled back were it not for Nuada’s grasp. 

Swaggering towards them was a huge red man, rivalling Thor’s brawn and winning. The things that caught Loki’s attention first were his mounds of smooth red skin and the two very large horns spiralling up from his head. And on top of his head was a fire simmering, boasting the reflection of a crown when one looked from the right angle. He was dressed in fine black leather trousers and large boots warriors wore in combat. His chest, a wide red chiselled chest was bare save for a small black open vest that had to be there for show since it provided no covering, hanging over his broad shoulders in an attractive way. There were thick rings adorning fingers and—what the hell was wrong with his right hand?

“Nuada, old buddy,” the big red man said, raising his huge right hand. He had a gruff voice, and a sassy smirk that was infectious enough to make Loki want to smile too. His small yellow eyes quickly landed on Loki, who stiffened into Nuada, and he held out his hands, “Gonna introduce me to the dame?”

Loki raised a brow, but said nothing and glanced at Nuada who shook his head with a playful smile, completely at ease. He bumped Loki against him for eye contact. “Loki, this is Anung Un Rama, King of Muspelheim, and a very old friend of mine. But he prefers to be called Red.”

“…I couldn’t tell why.” Loki said, looking back in awe at the other king. 

“Red, this is Loki. Queen of Álfheimr, and Prince of Jötunheimr.” Nuada said, proudly, and Red extended his normal hand with a small exaggerated bow. Loki would have called him out on being disrespectful and sarcastic but he was positive Nuada would have done it already if it were the case. He hesitantly gave over his hand, and watched carefully should he need to defend himself. But his worries were for naught and the man pressed a light kiss to the back of his hand and gave it right back. He noticed the man was really warm, and made a note not to be around him too often lest his body decide to think it’s mating time.

“Good to meet you, Loki. I haven’t heard a lot about you. Because _someone_ didn’t bother telling me he was going to get married.” Red rolled his yellow eyes over at Nuada with an accusing glare. So unlike Loki had seen before, Nuada actually looked playful, like that time they first built the horse together, and he shot his friend an equally superior expression.

“I’m sorry but _someone_ was all the way on Earth.” Nuada shot back.

“Hey! Talking about Earth, I found my own queen,” Red grinned, and looked over his shoulder. “who is currently not in sight.”

“An Earthling?” Nuada asked incredulously, and Loki joined him in looking at Red as if he was insane.

Red looked at them back as if it were no big deal. “Yeah? She’s different, she can handle me.”

“Red, my friend, the last woman you abducted had several burn marks on her that were not born of pleasure.”

“I did not _abduct_ her,” Red spat, “And she lived. But you’ll see what I mean. Tell me about you two. Did you barge into frosty land and carry Loki off on your shoulder as his father grovelled, maybe cried to the stars?”

Nuada went red in the face and Loki made sure he stared at every second of it, stuck between being amused and concerned. Red laughed and clapped Nuada on the shoulder with his stone hand. Loki did not want to be on the receiving end of that.

“I’m just teasing you, pal. But seriously,” he lowered his voice and leaned forward as he tried to look inconspicuous, “I’ve been hearing some nasty talk around the room and frankly I’mma destroy a few realms at once if they don’t shut up about you.”

His concern surprised Loki, and he looked between them as Nuada patted Red on the shoulder, a grateful smile on his face. 

“Let’s keep the peace, my friend.”

“Have you heard what they’re saying—?”

“Yes, and I’d appreciate if you don’t repeat it. Loki is here to be happy and not listen to their gossiping.”

Red held his hands up. “Alright, just letting you know. But I’ll tear the place apart with them in it if they provoke me.”

No wonder there were so many guards despite the Elves being peaceful, there were some _not_ peaceful people here. Nuada sighed and looked defeated, and Loki wondered just how many instances like that had happened for Nuada to be past the stage of asking his friend _not_ to cause havoc.

“Okay, well, Loki,” Loki looked up at the red king, “Welcome to the family—oh shit, Nuada, I am so sorry.”

Loki looked between them for what he missed. Nuada looked surprised too for a moment but he caught on and gave a shrug. “His time came. He went peacefully.”

As Loki realised what they were talking about, Red looked sorry. “The man never liked me but hey, he was your father. I’m sorry.”

“He just didn’t like your temper,” Nuada said, remembering all the broken things that would appear whenever Red was around and someone pissed him off. Red gave a full bodied shrug, “Can’t help what I am, can I? Hey, why don’t you bring Loki here to Muspelheim, you haven’t visited in a long time.”

“Red, Loki is a frost giant, he’d wither within an hour on Muspelheim.”

“Oh. Well, guess you’re right, wouldn’t wanna ruin such a pretty dress—he’s wearing a dress, so how does babies happen with the frosties? I can’t really go there either, kind of out of my element but yeah, I never got a straight answer out of anyone.”

“Maybe that’s because you are not asking the right question in even remotely the right way.” Nuada said, was about to apologize to Loki who thankfully looked more amused than anything when a woman stepped up to their huddling, laying a hand on Red look who was overjoyed to see her.

“Dany! There you are, what happened? Never mind, meet Nuada, King Nuada. My old pal. And his wife, Loki. He’s a man—sort of. He’s Jotun. Part of the explanations I promised.”

All of a sudden their huddle was silent despite the noise around them, awkwardness rising as Nuada and the female stared at one another. Loki caught onto the name but he would have dismissed it had he not seen the look in Nuada’s eyes. He knew her, and judging by the rapidly growing grin they both simultaneously shared, he knew her very well.

Red looked between them, extremely confused. “Am I missing something?”

“Is this one of your _grovelling suitors_?” Nuada asked, possibly more incredulously than before.

“King Nuada.” She greeted with a broad smile. Loki had never seen anyone as beautiful as this woman was.

Pale white skin, silver hair and purple eyes. She was a marvel to behold, not even the Elves could compare. She was unaffected by the heat surrounding the fire giant and looked at ease where she stood despite that Midgardians were known to be oblivious to the other beings in he realm. Either she was a good actor, or a great one. _This_ was the woman with the dragons. This small fragile human woman. She was Nuada’s friend from Midgard, the one with three real dragons. Loki’s knees shook.

“A completely but not unwanted surprise.” Nuada said, and reached out his hand to take hers. She smiled as he kissed it, and then turned her attention to Loki.

“I see your intended indeed leaves much to be explained.” She said, but reached out for Loki as soon as Nuada’s released her.

Blinking and feeling very small Loki clasped her warm hand and shook it, trying not to feel uncomfortable as she looked at every inch of him. Midgardians were ignorant to the other realms, he reminded himself. He was an oddity to her.

Clearing his throat Nuada reaffirmed his grip on Loki and smiled proudly. “Loki this is Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen, the great queen of whom I’ve told you about. Dany, this is my intended of whom I’ve told you about, Prince Loki of the world Jötunheimr, and now Queen of Álfheimr, my world.” Dany smiled at them both around the formal introductions, and Nuada chuckled. “There is indeed much to explain, but I don’t think Red over there is the best person to do it.”

“I agree,” Dany said and they laughed together like old friends, sending a strange spike of jealousy through Loki. Behind the woman Red rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner and gestured not so subtly to the pair, sharing with Loki a silent laugh in mock. Loki giggled to himself, feeling a little better.

“Strange how the Fates work.” Nuada mused. Dany fell back to stand besides the big red man, who was frowning petulantly.

“I shouldn’t have invited you, now you’ll both be teaming up against me like parents. You got my back though, right Lokes?”

It was Dany and Nuada’s turn to roll their eyes. Loki just nodded shyly, still a little overwhelmed at it all.

“And just so it happens, Nuada,” Dany started, a calculating look on her face. “I brought along what we discussed. The Fates were hard at work in their timing.”

“…Amazing,” Nuada breathed in awe, reaching out to squeeze her arm with a sudden rush of enthusiasm. Loki found himself looking at Red, but he looked just as confused, shrugging his big shoulders. “This is…I am amazed.”

“Your head king’s guard, I believe it was, has it locked away for you until you’re ready for it. This isn’t the best place or time. I am sorry about your father.”

“Thank you.” Nuada inclined his head, pulling Loki closer as if he needed the comfort. Loki provided, and frowned between them. He didn’t want to put Nuada out of his element in public, so he kept silent.

“I could do with a drink, want anything?” Red offered. Loki shook his head when they all look at him first, and Nuada copied him. Red huffed and pulled a childish face at them as he slunk an arm around Dany’s waist and tugged her off. “Fine, more for me.”

When they were out of sight between the multitude of bodies Loki laughed. “I would never have guessed you’d have a friend like that. And I cannot believe I just met your dragon mother friend.”

“I honestly don’t see that lasting. She has him on a leash.” Nuada laughed, shaking his head. “The only reason I can stand his attitude is because he knows when to be serious, otherwise he would be another Thor.”

“Talking about Thor…” Loki pulled on his shirt and looked pointedly to where Thor had appeared, looking regal and every bit the Thunderer from glorious Asgard. Nuada squeezed him close on sight.

“Must I keep him away from you?” he asked, and Loki shook his head hurriedly. 

“No, don’t start a scene. It’s fine, I’m fine.”

“I will politely ask him to reframe from coming near you.” Nuada insisted, then swore under his breath when Thor noticed them, and started toward them. He pressed Loki close, and Loki had to push against him as his space went from little to nil. “Loki-”

“Nuada, it’s fine, he can’t _do_ anything.”

“He _won’t_ , but I will not have you uncomfortable in your home.”

“It’s okay,” Loki insisted, through grit teeth, and steeled himself as Thor joined them, trying and failing miserably to keep the awe from his eyes as he stared at Loki’s appearance.

“Prince Thor,” Nuada ground. He managed to gain Thor’s attention for a moment before it fell back on Loki.

“King Nuada. Pri—Queen Loki.” Thor bowed, looking more like a bashful child a fierce warrior. It wasn’t quite what Loki was expecting, but it was a better version.

“You look…you look beautiful, Loki.” Thor said, and Loki couldn’t have missed the apologetic tone even if it were whispered. The blond man looked sorry, and ashamed, and a little awkward as Nuada tried to glare him right off his feet.

“You really do. I am glad you’re well.”

Loki looked down at himself, to break their eye contact, and bobbed his head. “Thank you.”

“Loki, I’m sorry.” Thor blurted, and Nuada hissed. Loki looked up surprised and Nuada put himself between them, holding a hand out to Thor who held his own up to show benevolence.

“You were not invited here to throw salt on Loki’s wounds,” Nuada spat, “You are here as a representative of Asgard with your father, and that’s all.”

“I am not here to hurt him! Loki please, I _am_ sorry—”

“Odinson, step away,”

Loki opened his mouth to intervene but he couldn’t get a word in between the two of them. 

“Please, I only wish—”

“Boy so _help me_ —”

“Is there a problem here?” a familiar gruff voice appeared, along with its red owner. Thor looked surprised as he stepped back, and even a little intimidated, and quickly shook his head as he took in the King of Muspelheim.

“No-”

“Hey, you’re that Thor kid,” Red said, purposely pointing a massive stone finger. “Heard a lot about you. A lot.”

Thor looked like he had a bad taste in his mouth. Red’s demeanour was casual but his hand could count as a Mjölnir, and with all the talk in the room, Thor would only imagine what was being said about him as much as Loki. 

“I am just here to give my apologies to Loki.” Thor said, as calmly as possible while Red snorted like a lazy bull. Nuada’s face was hard and he nodded. 

“And you have, thank you. Now please, give us space.”

Thor looked hurt, but he relented and gave Loki as many apologetic glances as he could as he turned and sulked off, Mjölnir swinging from his waist. Loki let out a breath he’d been holding, Nuada felt it and petted his back. 

“I’m sorry, love. You’re so strong.” Nuada kissed his cheek. 

“I also heard about how you whipped his spoilt ass on Jötunheimr, care to tell me the details over a drink later?” Red asked, cringing dramatically at the possibility of being turned down. Nuada shoved him lightly, but his smile was his answer.

 

**XxXx**

 

After the last realm had arrived and everything was in order, the funeral commenced. 

Unlike the other beings in the realms, Elves turned to clay when they died, becoming statues of their former selves. There were several methods of burial, depending on the Elf’s status, their family wealth, and personal preference. Some families ground their dead into a chalky dust and threw it into the seas or used it in farming or pottery, other families buried their dead and they would eventually deteriorate into dust. But the wealthy, especially those with significance to the land, would be polished in an indestructible varnish that would keep the clay intact and shining for centuries to come, then it would be refurbished as the varnish lost its touch. The statue would be kept in a special hall of all the other dead that came before them, old kings and queens, some even children, young princes and princesses that fell before reaching the throne. They were kept well for future generations to gaze upon and pay their respects. 

The whole night the servants rushed about and prepared their king and the ceremony, the elder members of the court over looking the king’s immortalization. He was placed on a slab covered inch to inch in runes and Balor’s favourite gems. He was fortunate to pass while lying, so there were no alterations needed. Flowers that were varnished too were placed around him on the slab and then it was transported to the Great Hall where everyone was now gathered, seated and facing the passed king and the court. Behind the slab were a long line of thrones that became smaller they went out, where all of the royals and the members of the court sat. 

Loki couldn’t help his mirth when he was guided to the second largest seat on Nuada’s right. Nuala’s chair was the same size though, to Nuada’s left, and the chairs went out in the same order. As they took their seats, Loki stared at the old king’s body and wondered what would happen to his own when he died here. He made a note to ask Nuada, maybe when his mind wasn’t so bothered by his father’s passing. Nuala had been crying again, but no one tried to comfort her, they let her be. 

The one thing Loki didn’t quite like about being seated where he was, was the sea of faces staring at him. Though no one from Jötunheimr was here, Loki could see Jötunheimr in their eyes. They looked at him as if doing so would confirm or deny the rumours flying around. He didn’t quite want to know what they were saying, but he could imagine. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jötunheimr itself hadn’t leaked details of his punishment. At least he wasn’t sporting a growing belly to prove it. In the crowd he spotted Daenerys and Red who made sure to smile at him, and again he felt a little better.

Sadly, he noted there was no Thrym, but chose to believe Thrym had to remain on Jötunheimr to keep his newfound influence strong.

He focused on staring at Balor or Nuada’s hands on the armrest. While there were also many admiring glances thrown his way he didn’t have the strength or interest to smile or acknowledge them, even if he was now supposed to be representing Álfheimr. He knew presentation was important, he was supposed to be responsible on how he acted now as anything he did reflected on Nuada, but surely no one could say anything if he just kept to himself at the moment.

There was no chance for anyone to test him as the speeches started, and those seated in the thrones had their turn to say something about their departed king, each ending in a prayer that everyone closed their eyes to and sent their good will heavenwards. When it came Nuala’s turn to say something Nuada rose and accompanied her, holding her hand the entire time and sharing his strength with her. She reminisced mostly on their childhood, when their father would teach them important lessons and loved them enough to last a life time, and protected them with his life until Nuada grew old enough and took that that duty upon himself. It made Loki’s heart sore, knowing he had only been protected all his years because he was valuable, not because he was loved so. 

When all were done it was Nuada’s turn, but there was little to be said that hadn’t been aired already. So he spoke a little of what his father had said to him and no one else, what it meant to be a good king, and a good man. He honoured his father with his own memories and his greatest moments to _him_ , the man he was and not the kingly duties the realms expected to hear, and already heard from all.

Then last, he spoke of his father’s choice to seek a future queen for Álfheimr from Jötunheimr, a land always humiliated and under appreciated. Instantly attention surrounding Loki multiplied, but Nuada stole it back each time it veered, pacing about and raising his voice passionately, and eventually turning to Loki and before Loki knew it, they entire hall was bowing their heads to him, hands on their chests after Nuada’s example. He stiffened, realising he was barely listening to anyone’s words, but the look on Nuada’s face did not need words. They were honouring him.

Quickly afterwards Nuada shifted the attention again and it seemed the ceremony was finished. Everyone stood, and a team of young Elven men in matching clothing carried the slab away on their shoulders, a few members of the court and Nuala tagging along. The servants then filled in with food and drink and Nuada announced that the guests should enjoy themselves and stay the night if they wish. He then left them to their own devices and returned to Loki.

“Are you okay? How do you feel?” Nuada kneeled on one knee by Loki’s side, his eyes searching for any kind of a problem. 

Loki shifted, trying not to look at the women giggling and cooing at them from the rows and the men pulling faces for being out done in front of their wives. He tried to access how he felt, and decided the warming knot in his stomach was not a good sign, whether it was nerves or his reproductive system.

“I think I need to go,” he said, and instantly Nuada was helping him to his feet.

“Of course, come. I shall escort you.” Nuada lead him by the hand off the stage and towards the hallways, but Odin made his presence known with surprising speed. Nuada looked almost angry at his sudden appearance, but reined it in and cut him off before he could start.

“Allfather, please excuse us, I must escort Loki to our chambers.”

“Of course, but may we speak afterwards?” Odin looked stony, and in the background Thor was lurking looking like he was physically incapable of coming closer, though he desperately wanted to. Loki awkwardly avoided his eyes, leaning away from Odin as well.

“Of course, ask the servants to escort you to my private drawing room, I’ll be there soon.” And with that Nuada pushed Loki off, leaving Odin to shut his mouth and turn away. Loki didn’t dare look back lest he be glared at, and once they turned a corner he pulled to a stop.

“Nuada, you should go, I’ll be fine.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, you should go to Odin. I know where the room is.”

“I don’t want you on your own.” Nuada frowned, and bumped Loki under the chin affectionately. “I know you can handle yourself but right now let’s be safe rather than sorry?”

Loki sighed and looked at his feet. “Alright.”

Nuada smiled gently, then felt around his face. “You’re getting warm, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t all there for a while.” He admitted. 

“Come, I’ll leave you in the bath and I’ll return as soon as possible.” They started again towards their chambers, the corridors empty.

“Shouldn’t you be with the people? You are the king now.” The last thing Loki wanted was to be blamed for the king’s absence to more important things, especially with so many judgmental and superior personalities about.

“And you are my queen. It would be more questionable if I did not tend to your needs first. The people can survive my absence for an hour or so until you’re settled.”

Loki groaned. “I feel like a burden.”

Nuada pecked his cheek, “Never, my love.”

Once Loki was in the tub, wet and looking delectable, Nuada gave him a parting kiss and left to see to Odin. He locked the door on the way out should anyone be wandering about and dare try sneak up on Loki who was in no state to defend himself, especially against sexual advances. Down in the hall condolences and congratulations were being passed about and for once Nuada couldn’t find the energy to be neighbourly and humour everyone. He rushed through, wanting to see to Odin and get it done.

“Allfather, Thor, thank you for graciously attending and assisting today.” He said the moment he slipped in the room, making Thor jump a metre high. Odin was seated and looking patient, but he should be as he was the visitor here, and Nuada was no longer just a prince. Odin’s one beady eye followed him until he was seated in his father’s chair, _his_ chair now.

“Your father was a good man and a good king, and you will be too. I will help you anyway I can Nuada, I will honour the brotherhood of our realms your father left behind.” 

Brotherhood? Just because Álfheimr had never given Asgard a reason for war didn’t mean they were on brotherly terms. Asgard was barbaric in their tempers and lust for wars and Balor kept his people well away from that, but times were moving forward and the realms grew smaller as the people and knowledge grew larger. Nuada supported friendship between the realms, and he would show Odin what brotherhood meant. He would not show him a cold shoulder, not like the one he was now forced to show Laufey, but he would show the man how peace was really done. And that did not include bowing to his every whim like a dog with its tail between its legs in fear of retribution.

“…Nuala shall not marry Thor.” He said, staring down Odin with a passive face. He shrugged, matter-of-factly. “I am sorry, Allfather. I have much respect for you but as I see it Asgard does not need a union with anyone. I will be bold and say that you only pursued Loki because my father did. I will not offend you with my personal beliefs of why but I can assure you my marriage to Loki will affect Asgard little. Laufey and I will have a strained political relationship at the most and thus Asgard has nothing to fear. I would appreciate if you do not press the matter of a union between us through Nuala. I welcome you in all other ways of course, I would actually very much like that.”

The reactions between the two Aesir men were not a call for alarm. Thor looked in agreement, no matter his reasons, but that was one less thing for Nuada to worry about. Odin looked a little disappointed and folded his fingers with a dreary acceptance in his eyes. Perhaps Frigga had already told him. “Very well Nuada, I cannot put forth an argument. I place my trust in you.” He paused. “May I…possibly inquire?”

“Of course.”

“Should Thor perhaps have a genuine interest in Nuala, will you forever be against their coupling should it not be based on politics?”

Thor looked confused behind his father, but hid it when he saw Nuada watching him. 

Nuada debated silently on his words before speaking them. “…Should Thor mature and prove himself a proper man then I might, _might_ consider it. And provided Nuala is interested. And with my bond to her I will know her true feelings, there will be no fooling me. Should she be opposed even in the slightest I will make that clear, even when her humility is unable to do so.” A very small _might_ , which could translate into _never_. Thankfully Thor did not look all that interested, and glared at the back of Odin’s head. Nuada wished he could glare at his front.

Odin inclined his head, never dropping his well experienced political mask. “Thank you, King Nuada. Your father would indeed be proud.” 

“I hope so.”

“I think it is time to go then,” Odin said, getting up with Nuada, “I need to return my queen home.”

“How is Loki?” Thor blurted.

Nuada stared at him and Odin paused. “…He is making a slow recovery.”

“…Will you give him my best?”

“…When he is in a clearer state of mind.” Nuada said, and Thor nodded reluctantly. Nuada stood and turned to Odin. “Thank you for allow Queen Frigga to aid Loki, that was most kind.”

The Allfather’s face went grim. “I do not approve of what Laufey did to him. Our competition was based on realm meagre and unity, his was based on revenge. It is best you went back for him.” He actually sounded guilty, but Thor’s was much more believable, not doctored with shrewd experience.

“Thanks to Thor I made it.” Nuada gestured to Thor, who stood a little straighter. “Thank you.” 

Odin walked over and patted Thor towards the door. “I think we’ll take our leave then. This is a delicate time, you should be with family.”

“I would appreciate that, Allfather.”

“Should you need help you need only ask, son.”

“I will remember that. Thank you.”

Nuada watched them step out, and let out a soft breath when they were gone. 

**XxXxXxXx**

 

Loki loved these baths. He learnt how to lie on his back and float, feeling the icy chill clawing over his skin as it fought for dominance over the fire trying to light within him. Then when the top side of his skin felt too warm compared to that which was submerged, he’d lift his arms into the air and sink for a few seconds before resurfacing, and just swimming around idly. It was insanely relaxing and he wondered how he ever survived without it. 

It was nearly an hour that Nuada had been gone. Loki wasn’t sure how long he thought it would take, but he was glad to have him back.

“Are you okay?” the newly kinged Elf asked, crouching down on the side of the bath. 

Loki dipped his head back to wet his hair again, enjoying the feeling of it. “How did it go?”

With Loki sober, Nuada sat back on the floor and rested his elbows on his knees. “Without any direct animosity. Odin just wanted to know where he stood concerning Nuala.”

Loki’s face screwed up. “I hope you told him off. Surely Asgard has enough females to sate Thor.”

“Actually, Thor didn’t look all that on par with Odin on the matter. I think he’s had enough of realm politics to last a while.” Nuada chuckled. 

Loki swam forward to the side where Nuada sat. “…Are you sure you want me here for ever?”

“Would you like me to prove me it?” Nuada leaned over and thumbed his lips.

“Why don’t you do what you said you planned on?” Loki leaned into his hand, “About winning my hand with affections… instead of children.”

“You remember that?” Nuada asked happily.

“You were right, that was the Nuada I’m going to remember for ever.” Loki pulled himself up on the rim, and Nuada quickly pulled him out of the water the rest of the way. His ceremony clothes be damned, he pressed Loki against him and kissed him passionately, but shortly.

“Not that I don’t want…children.” Loki amended, initiating another kiss as Nuada’s strong hands stroked down his flanks, “But I’d like to get to know you properly before children steal away my time from you.”

“Then you shall have as much time as you need,” Nuada swore, and made Loki’s breathless from kissing. His hand never wandered further than his lower back and the kissing slowed until they were breathing passionately against one another on the floor.

“…Thank you.” Loki said, frowning in thought at everything he was thankful for. “Nuada…Thank you.”

“No, dear heart, thank _you_. My beautiful queen.” Nuada said, and held Loki close, never planning to let him go again. They kissed for a while longer until Nuada hummed thoughtfully.

“Talking about affections…I have something for you.”

Loki raised his brows. “You do?”

“Yes. Do you want to go see it?”

“What is it?” Loki asked with growing excitement. They got up together, and Nuada led him back into the chambers where he helped Loki dry off and slip into a cotton gown. 

“It’s a surprise.” Nuada said, his eyes sparkling. It made Loki even more excited and he started to bounce lightly.

“Is it Thrym? Did he come?”

Nuada stopped as if he was punched in the gut, trying and failing not to look sympathetically at Loki. Loki’s hopeful smile fell and he licked his lips, dropping his gaze.

“I just…I thought he would…”

“Thrym loves you do death, Loki,” Nuada promised, rubbing his arms. “But he is sad that he failed to protect you, and he has to remain on Jötunheimr until he has established a firmer grasp of his position. But he will write to you soon, I promise.”

Loki smiled again, and nodded. “Okay.”

“Let’s go.”

Nuada led Loki around a very quiet and secluded part of the royal palace. There were guards patrolling, but no servants or guests at all. Loki was allowed to set the pace but he elected to move swiftly, despite wanting to take in the beauty of the castle. Nuada squeezed his hand and it all felt like it would be okay.

They appeared to be toward the back of the palace, near the dungeons and weapon vaults. And it seem, the treasury. Nuada led him to a balcony around the corner, where it overlooked the cliff of the sea. He gestured for Loki to sit by the white marble table and chair.

“I’ll return shortly, wait here. You’ll be okay.”

“I will.” Loki nodded, sitting down neatly. Nuada turned back down the hallway, and Loki looked out to the view, wondering what Nuada could possibly have for him. His thoughts strayed as he sat, back to the beautiful Daenerys, and the big red king. He also thought to Thor who had apologised, who had gone to Jötunheimr to save him. He thought about Queen Frigga who came to comfort him. He thought about the life he had left behind, and the new one he would be starting. 

He thought about his new position as queen. His father finally got what he wanted.

“Loki Laufeyson.”

Loki jumped. He looked up, unable to recognise the voice, and found he was unable to recognise the face either.

The man seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, colossal in size, light purple in colour and sporting one of the more unfriendly faces Loki had ever seen; and that was saying something coming from a Jotun. The man was attired in gold plates that looked much like armour, serving only to make Loki more nervous. He couldn’t tell from which realm he hailed from, nor could he tell his race. He tried to look around the giant for Nuada but he was covering the very light itself.

“I have heard a great deal about you.”

If possible Loki froze more, and accidently sent off a wave of ice across the surface of the marble in his small fear.

The man laughed, his voice deep and intimidating, giving Loki painful chills he had no good explanation for. He didn’t know why but the man set him on edge something terrible, something only his gut could sense.

“Don’t be frightened, little princeling.” The man chuckled, eyeing the table. “The damage to your spirit has already been done.”

Loki swallowed, sitting back in the chair. 

“Do you know who I am, boy?”

Loki shook his head.

“What would you say if I said I was from far across the galaxy, away from your realms? And that I am looking for…worthy people to help me in a quest.”

The man paused, and Loki took the hint to ask. “…What quest?”

“One that will bestow upon you both power and knowledge. And of course, revenge.”

Loki’s interest peeked, but he could barely think about going outside the palace without Nuada as an escort let alone become a part of some quest. Even if power and knowledge were to be gained…

 _Allies_ … _friends_ …

“I am here to offer you a chance at greatness. Help me, and I will help you.”

The man’s small eyes were piercing and made him feel uncomfortable. Loki looked away. “I cannot, I’m sorry.”

“There is no time limit on my offer,” the man chuckled, somehow drawing back Loki’s reluctant attention. “I will be around for a long time to come, and I am a patient man.” He reached out one humongous hand, a thin sheet of solid material sticking out between his fingers. “When you are ready to show the worlds what you can be, Loki Laufeyson, contact my daughter, Nebula. A drop of your blood will activate this, the rest will be self explanatory. You’re supposed to be smart, I hear. You can figure it out.”

Loki only took the small square disk to get back his personal space. He watched the man cautious, confused. 

“…Who are you?”

“Someone who would very much like to see you prove all these scandalous cretins a lesson…with fire and ice. Of course, if you have the desire for revenge, that is. After what they did to you...And all for petty ties that they will dishonour the first chance they get. A battle for a bride…But you are far above the reaches of that, now aren’t you?”

 

Loki was left holding the strange card as the man left with a rather confident grin spread over his wide face. One that clearly said _it is only a matter of time_. It made his skin crawl again. When he heard (and surprisingly recognised) Nuada’s footsteps he hurried to stash away the card. Something told him to keep quiet about it, if Nuada didn’t already know. Yes…keep quiet.

Nuada came across the corner carrying a strange containment device, a smile on his face that confirmed he was oblivious to the purple stranger. Loki swallowed down anything that might give him away and focused back on the gift Nuada had for him.

“What happened to the table?” Nuada asked, placing the device on his chair. Loki jumped guiltily, but quickly laughed. 

“Accident. Body…sorry.”

“That’s alright,” Nuada dismissed lightly, and withdrew a pocket knife. He slammed the butt of the handle against the sheet of ice and it cracked. Loki helped him pull off the pieces of ice, and when it was clear again he placed the device on the table. It was made in a square shape and made of glass, no taller than two feet in height. There was a pretty cloth placed over it and it sunk in the middle, the glass box had no lid. Loki frowned, and shrugged.

“Should I guess?”

“You could…” Nuada said, and that’s when Loki realised he was _incredibly_ excited.

Suddenly overcome by his earlier excitement, and the sudden giddiness from Nuada, Loki reached and pulled the cloth away. And what he saw made him gasp.

It was a grey scaly egg.

Loki stared, mouth agape, both believing and not quite believing what he assumed it was.

It couldn’t be. 

But it had to be.

“I had Daenerys find it for you. Her dragons are of the fire element, but this one…it’s of ice. An ice dragon, for an ice queen.”

Loki slapped his hands to his mouth, his entire body shaking as he stared at the egg. _The dragon egg._

“I didn’t expect to see her today. I was going to take you to Earth to fetch the egg ourselves once they found it. But…I think the Fates wanted you to have it a little sooner.”

Tears were streaming down Loki’s face. He could barely keep a breath for more than a second, he felt light headed. 

Nuada smiled, looking nervously between Loki and the egg. “Loki?”

“Y-y-you g-got this f-for m-me?” Loki stuttered, muffled and barely comprehensible. He was back to crying, trying to calm down and sit still but his hands ended up back at his mouth, trying to silence his sobs.

“Technically Dany’s people did.” Nuada chuckled. “According to them it still has some growing to do. We’ll have to wait a while before it hatches. It will give us time to build out an area for it to stay once it’s grown.” He reached into the glass casing and very gently pulled out the egg. He turned it over in his hands carefully, feeling the texture, then held it out to Loki. 

Loki shook his head. “I-I’ll drop it.”

“Feel it,” Nuada encouraged. “I won’t let it fall.”

With the strange man all but forgotten Loki slowly felt around the egg, tracing the hard leathery contours. 

“It’s yours.” Nuada said, trying to gauge Loki for another reaction other than crying. Loki could be also angry or upset about it, he didn’t want to assume the best.

“P-put it back.” Loki ordered, sitting himself back straight.

Nuada pulled away immediately, taking the egg with him. He nodded, eyes averted, and returned the egg to the safety of its container. He put the cloth back on, and watched for a moment as the light breeze made the edges swish. 

Then Loki was upon him, climbing into his lap and kissing him passionately. Loki held his head in a grip with astounding strength, keeping Nuada locked in place, turning his head this way and that as he kissed him. Nuada threw his arms around Loki and lifted them both, hurrying Loki up against the nearest wall. Loki’s legs were more than happy to comply and spread when his back hit the wall, squirming and hooking around Nuada’s waist. They kissed frantically, wet and passionately like it were the most important thing in the universe.

Nuada broke from the kiss to groan a pained sound, his face scrunched up as he squeezed whatever bit of Loki he could get his hands on. “I love you Loki, I love you so m…be mine…”

“I’ll be yours,” Loki panted, grinding his hips forward. He had a new home, he had a devoted husband, he had the title of queen, he had a dragon egg, and he had new friends— _friends_ , period. What more could he ask for? Nuada had given him everything. Nuada loved him.

Nuada loved him.

“You love me…” Loki breathed over his shoulder.

“So much.” Nuada nodded, kissing down the side of his face. Loki moaned softly, and looked back to where his dragon egg sat. 

‘ _I don’t think the fates want you to be happy_ ,’ the voice in the back of his mind whispered. It had been so long since he heard it, and he listened as if immobilised, ‘ _I think the fates want you to be powerful_.’

_An ice dragon egg…_

_A natural hand for magic…_

_Position of Queen of Álfheimr…_

_The support of Thrym, Frigga and perhaps even a guilt riddled Thor Odinson…_

The card against his breast suddenly felt hot, and a jolt of foreign works shot through him. Nuada didn’t seem to notice.

‘ _And now Thanos_ …’ another voice whispered along side his own. The foreign works called the voice The Other. 

Perhaps the tale of Loki Laufeyson was only just beginning.

 

The End~

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of the story with Jack and the glory. 
> 
> There are so many prospects for more but this particular story was about Loki’s fall from grace and into the makings of an unstable and possibly dangerous creature. It’s still early days for him but once he gains back his nerve Loki would be hardened, and of course Thanos knows this, usually being the one to break his charges. Loki’s been through hell and he would make for a useful worker. He’s already got influence in three realms, two high statuses and a wealth of untapped magical power, power Laufey repressed by keeping Loki down. 
> 
> I won’t write a sequel, as I said this fic was about this particular story. Loki may still choose _not_ to seek out a deal with the devil just for revenge but Thrym will take Jötunheimr and Loki can’t just attack him, and Nuada could talk him out of it. Loki could find it in his heart to forgive them and move on, maybe have children instead and focus on that rather than destruction. He has a good life now, people who love him, someone who is devoted to him. He might find that is worth more than all the knowledge and power in the universe, especially after his particular journey. 
> 
> If he did veer towards the promises of Thanos I can imagine the Tesseract would get involved again, and even that story can go so many ways, similar ways even, it could even involved Nuada and the Kingdom of the Golden Army. But this is also AU and this Nuada wouldn’t shed blood even of futuristic dishonourable humans just to hand the Mad Titan Thanos a key to unlimited power, so he and Loki wouldn’t quite agree there. 
> 
> So for that reason it is best left to the imagination, you can all decided how you would want it to continue. I can see it going both ways so if you feel Loki would throw away the card and begin his life with Nuada, or if you feel he would grow into the maniacal sorcerer we all know and seek out Thanos then each to their own, no one is wrong.
> 
> Thank you SO SO SO SO SOOOO much for all the support, it has been a pleasure writing and sharing my silly story. Thank you for all the love and friends I made doing this, you guys are amazing!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> **PS: I have posted a long oneshot fic for Loki and Nuada (and a surprise) full of porn, enjoy[For Your Entertainment ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3223649) OuO**


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